Lighten Up! - The Beer Scooter




View Full Version : The Beer Scooter


BigPhatBooty
01-22-2002, 12:49 PM
Found this on another site...........


How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night of drinking and thought 'How did I get home?'? As hard as you try, you cannot piece together your return journey from the bar to your home.
The answer to this puzzle is that you used a beer scooter. The beer scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased out to the drunk by Bacchus the Roman god of wine. Bacchus has branched out since the decrease in the worship of the Roman pantheon and bought a large batch of these magical devices. The beer scooter works in the following fashion:

The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and the slurring gland begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many sub-contractors detects the pheromone and sends down a winged beer scooter. The scooter scoops up the passenger and deposits them to their bedroom via a trans-dimensional portal. It is not cheap to run a beer scooter franchise, so a large portion of the passenger's in-pocket
cash is taken as payment. This generates the second question after a night out 'How did I spend so much money?'.

Beer scooters have a poor safety record and are thought to be responsible for 90% of all UDI (unidentified drinking injuries). Independent studies have also shown that Beer Goggles occasionally cause the scooter's navigation system to malfunction thus sending the passenger to the wrong bedroom often with horrific consequences.



Apparently the beer scooter has affiliates which includes:

The Beer Bus
Are you also familiar with the beer bus? The one that while you've been to the ladies after your 10th vodka and coke, the bus has been to the pub and took away all the ugly people then replaced them with all beautiful people!?

Beer Monkies
Q OK - so how do you explain how *someone* logs into my hotmail account and sends emails when I've obviously passed out? I don't know who it is, but they've been responsible for some really weird replies......!!!
A The person logging into your hotmail account is none other than the beer monkies.
Beer monkies are demon creatures who know everything about you . They can even talk slightly like you.

They steal your phone from you and make hideous phone calls, They can log onto your email and send very weird notes. The beer monkey can also have the audacity to dump your boyf over the phone on Friday Night. What a little monster.

and

I think that they also text people you don't really want to see without you knowing, and arrange for you to meet up with them...

and

They alway often phone and leave rude messages on Ex boyfriends phone.


So now you know :D