Weight Loss Support - I think I need help...




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sweetlovin
11-20-2007, 05:37 PM
like seriously. My eating is getting out of control!

Yesterday

Breakfast- SKipped
Lunch-Skipped
Dinner/snack/whatever-
1 full row of Ritz Crackers
Two Peanut butter sandwhiches
1 slice of toast with butter
2 Gronola Bars
A plate of rice
A plate of macaroni salad
A tablespoon of peanut butter

Then I drink some diet tea'

Today

Breakfast- Slice of Cake
Lunch- Skipped
Dinner-
Slice of cake
bowl of macaroni salad
gronola bar
Slice of toast with peanut butter


USUALLY I EAT LIKE THIS:

Breakfast- PB sandwhich/ bowl of cereal/ eggs with 2 slices of whole wheat toast
Lunch- Turkey Melt with milk
Dinner
2 Pb sandwiches
snacks snacks and more snacks
my mom makes something and I eat that! like another plate of food


I FEEL LIKE CRAP. I just want to like kill myself. Im somewhat not serious but its making me SOO horrible. I feel like ****. I'm such a horrible person. I dont know why im doing this to my self. Im getting closer to 160 by the day

and I wonder why i want to be anorexic again. I was so much better. THis sucks so bad. I am a stupid person. Inconsiderate, and so UGH. I can even explain how much I hate myself for being a ***** to my body.


sweetlovin
11-20-2007, 05:42 PM
I just cannot believe this.. how much weight i gained. how horrible i feel. how i have completly ruined myself. I mean what is wrong with me?

I just want control over myself. Im such a stupid idiotic person. I don't deserve to be me. I mean any other person would treat themselves with better care then i do.

I've been struggling with my weight for so long. Im SICK and tired of it. I give up. whats the point. life sucks.

sockmonkey70
11-20-2007, 05:43 PM
Don't say that. Atleast you're eating. Just try to evaluate what is causing you to skip meals. Try to control when and what you eat, and make good choices. Take charge. You can do it! I know when I skip breakfast and lunch I eat non stop once I get home. I find eveything in the cabinet and proceed to have some of all of it. So try to eat your breakfast and lunch, and that should help get you back on track.


sockmonkey70
11-20-2007, 05:45 PM
PS. You are at a normal weight for your height. Cut yourself some slack.

LisaMarie71
11-20-2007, 06:00 PM
sockmonkey is right -- you really have to cut yourself some slack. We all make mistakes with our eating at times, but you know what to do to make healthier choices. And you can do it! Also, you really are at a perfectly healthy weight for your height, by the way. You may feel otherwise, though, and I'm not judging you for that. Just know that though you may FEEL overweight, you are certainly not.

CountingDown
11-20-2007, 06:04 PM
sweetlovin, calm down and breathe - slowly. You are not a horrible person. You can get your eating under your control. For me, skipping meals was a real part of my terrible binge behavior. Plan your meals for the day, and then eat what you planned. You can do this.

That being said, I would be remiss if I did not say that I think you do need some help - some counseling would be a good idea. Your weight is normal for your height. You mentioned having an eating disorder. You have not ruined yourself. Your body image is not who you are. Your desperation is coming through loud and clear, and while coming here for support is a really good idea, I think you will benefit from addressing your feelings with a professional. I hope you will continue to post and let us know how you are doing. There are some really wise people around here that have helped me tremendously!

sweetlovin
11-20-2007, 06:05 PM
I've screwed up for too long and thanksgiving is coming up. what am i going to do?! I feel so bad all the time! its uncontrollable.

I've never been this weight before so its almost as if I've gained 100 pounds because I would have never imagined myself at this state. I can't believe how horrible I have become..

I know you guys are trying to give me support though so thank you.

How do I start over from doing so bad?

sweetlovin
11-20-2007, 06:11 PM
sweetlovin, calm down and breathe - slowly. You are not a horrible person. You can get your eating under your control. For me, skipping meals was a real part of my terrible binge behavior. Plan your meals for the day, and then eat what you planned. You can do this.

That being said, I would be remiss if I did not say that I think you do need some help - some counseling would be a good idea. Your weight is normal for your height. You mentioned having an eating disorder. You have not ruined yourself. Your body image is not who you are. Your desperation is coming through loud and clear, and while coming here for support is a really good idea, I think you will benefit from addressing your feelings with a professional. I hope you will continue to post and let us know how you are doing. There are some really wise people around here that have helped me tremendously!
The counselors at my high school are absolutely ridiculous though. Idk what to do. besides this weight issue, my life is okay but this has been bothering me for so long. I just want to be happy once and for all back at the weight i like.

I mean would it kill for me to go back to 130-135 AT LEAST. I mean ugh. I know i may come off as a drama queen but I seriously don't know.. I have always been like this. Like i can't be completely happy unless i am at a certain weight or i go crazy mad..


I tell my mom i think im fat and she laughs at me and tells me that i am.

sweetlovin
11-20-2007, 06:13 PM
& deep inside, it bothers me. I mean why do i care so much? There's so many other worser things that could happen to me then gaining a few tons. but it doesn't matter. its just the way i am.

so i NEED to lose this weight. like I need to! Idk. i want to not eat for like a week.. I know thats not a good idea though.


ahh im sorry guys. I had to let this out.

LisaMarie71
11-20-2007, 06:22 PM
Not eating for a week is obviously a bad idea, because that will just harm your health and any weight you lose will pop right back on as soon as you start eating again.

Also, you mention that Thanksgiving is coming up. That's right, it is, and lots of us are worried that we'll eat a little too much. But you know, if we do, oh well. Life is short. The key is consistency -- making healthy choices MOST of the time.

I'd like to echo the person who suggested counseling. I'm in no way qualified to tell you what you need in that sense, but you're at a healthy weight and you think you have a weight loss emergency, that you MUST immediately lose weight. That indicates a problem.

Since Thanksgiving is coming up, maybe you should take a moment to count your blessings. You're at a healthy weight. Be glad you're not 100 pounds overweight (imagine for a moment what that's like). You're young and, I assume, in good health. What a blessing. A student at the school where I teach just died in a car accident and her 17th birthday is tomorrow. I'm not trying to make you feel bad or anything -- I just want you to take a moment to think about the good things in your life and realize that maybe a few extra pounds are not that big a deal in the grand scheme of things.

FlabulessPhyllis
11-20-2007, 06:24 PM
Don't beat yourself up like that! You have to stop calling yourself names and putting yourself down it's far more unhealthy than your slip ups. You are at a perfectly healthy weight for your height. You could eat a little healthier but it takes time to switch if you're not used to it. start by not skipping meals. If you're eating because of anxiety or depression you may need to see someone and get help. I don't think your problem is with food I think it's more to do with lack of self esteem. You need to learn how to love yourself first and worry about the food later.

sockmonkey70
11-20-2007, 06:49 PM
Everyday is a new day. If things didn't go so well today, try again tomorrow. I have gained4 pounds back over the last 2 weeks. Am I happy about it? No. But what's done is done. All we can do is keep trying to live healthier, and realize there is tomorrow.

JayEll
11-20-2007, 06:54 PM
Well sweetlovin, I am so sorry that you feel so bad about yourself. Because it is totally not necessary.

Now I have to say, if you can manage to eat the things you do eat, you can manage to get yourself a good breakfast and good lunch. You're just messin' with your own mind, girl! It's like ooooh I am so terrible (eat eat eat) ooooh look I did it again (eat eat eat) what am I supposed to doooo cause I'm so awful (eat eat eat).

And you don't feel better. :(

How about just for tomorrow, have breakfast in the morning like a person. And then have lunch. Skip the PB sandwiches after you get home--maybe just have one? And then eat dinner. Just try this for one day, not so you can beat yourself up, but just to see what happens. It's just one day out of many.

Have you been over to the Chicks in Control forum? You might find you're not alone in feeling this way.

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=64

Good luck! And do try some counseling--even if in the past you have felt like the counselors are dorky.

And remember: Right now you are OK at the weight you are at. This is not an emergency, we don't need 911. Chill... take it 1 day...

Jay

CountingDown
11-20-2007, 08:04 PM
sweetlovin, I'm sorry your high school counselors aren't more help. I'm also sorry your Mom responds that way. I really hope you can find someone close to you - a friend, a pastor, a teacher, someone who can help you with your feelings about yourself. You need to value who you are - a wonderful person with lot's of great things to offer. Everyone here has given you some great keys to success.

Forgive yourself - tomorrow is a new day.
Plan what you are going to eat - eat regularly - no skipping of meals.
Make healthy food choices if you can, less empty calories and more "real food"
Think positive things about yourself - write down the things you LIKE about yourself. Make a LONG list!
Give yourself compliments throughout the day. Set a goal - and add one more compliment each day.
Don't panic. You can do this. Come here often and share your successes and your frustrations. Use the strength and wisdom of those here to help you put things into perspective.


You can do this! Most of all - just work on forgiving and loving yourself. The rest will fall in place.
We believe in you!

makinthechange
11-20-2007, 08:15 PM
The most important thing is NOT to beat you up when you "fail" I read once "you can only fail if you did something wrong" when you eat something that you think you shouldnt be eating, or skip a meal when you should eat it, you cant beat yourself up. Try saying out loud "well, tomorrow is a new day" and then make a plan so you can really do it the next day..my biggest problem with every diet Ive been on, but this one..is I used to mentally beat myself up if I had a cookie...and then I would give up because whats the point..I just went through 2 months of "tomorrow is a new day" lol sometimes it takes that, but Im back on track now, and you can do it too. sometimes you get off track, its ok, just pick yourself up...and move on...dont dwell on it or your going to get upset at yourself.

horsey
11-20-2007, 08:33 PM
You are about 140 and 5'10? You aren't even overweight. Even if you gain another 10 pounds you wouldn't be for your height. Are you sabatoging yourself, do you have an eating disorder? I was like you, almost 5'10 and used to be 125-130, but as we get older it's only natural to gain a little weight. Everyone does, we can't stay model thin for life. I think if you asked your friends and family, they'd all say you are thin and beutiful, something is wrong with your self perception if you are panicking at this weight. I hope you can relax and learn to eat well. I'm reading the 5 factor diet book, it's really good - three meals of about 350 calories, and two snacks at about 150 calories a day. If you skip meals and then eat a lot you are going to gain more, then revving up your metabolism by eating throughout the day, that's the trend of all the latest diet books. You don't need to panic, just get a diet journal, write down what you are eating, set goals and plan a little here. This is the time of year we all feel a little down, people tend to gain a little in the winter, so long as you watch your weight - and don't go over the 5 lbs that would make you overweight for your height you will be 'ok.' If you see yourself going over a certain amount then you'll know it's time to 'get to work.' You can mess up here and there, life goes on.