Weight Loss Support - I need help, please




View Full Version : I need help, please


MelKnee
11-17-2007, 01:34 AM
That's something I never do. Ask for help. I was taught that people have their own problems and they don't have time or energy for mine. I can't do this on my own. I need help.

I was doing so good. I started losing weight last Jan. 1. I lost 37 lbs by mid June with counting calories (1600-1880 a day) and exercising 30 mins, 5 days a week. Then, I just stopped.
I've gained back 10 lbs. I can't get back with the program. I try every day. I try every meal. I just keep eating and eating all day. I'm too tired and busy to exercise.

Has anyone fallen off the wagon? How did you get back on? I am so scared that I'm just going to gain it all back.


cakses
11-17-2007, 01:41 AM
I am one to do well then fall off the wagon. Youjust have to find a way back on track. I am still only half on from my last fall lol. You're still 27 pounds lighter than when you first started, so that's a plus! Focus on those last 12 pounds until onederland instead of the 62 left until goal. Smaller things to focus on make it seem less daunting. Find someone to keep you accountable if you feel you can't do it alone. I'm just a private message away.

MelKnee
11-17-2007, 01:51 AM
Yes, you're right. Focusing on a smaller goal is easier. I need to just think about getting to Onderland. :)
Thanks!


Nicoyaangel
11-17-2007, 03:43 AM
Melknee I am right there with you. I am trying SO hard to get back on track but I cant. What you typed up there is EXACTLY where I am its scary. I need help too. Your not alone! Maybe we can support each other ... ??

witchyonadiet
11-17-2007, 04:02 AM
I feel really proud because I slacked off the last few weeks and didn't gain anything back - shows my eating habits are much better. The small goal thing is the best idea and has worked well for me. Even in 5 pound increments - totally reachable and not overwhelming. Maybe cut back one thing a day that you know you are overdoing - a bagel - that extra serving of potato at dinner - whatever - and MOVE - even if its just 15 minutes a day. Walk around at lunch if you can - or when you first get home - before the business of the household chores takes you away. YOU CAN DO IT !!!!!!!

kimmieone
11-17-2007, 07:37 AM
You just have to do it. I don't really understand "I just can't get back on track" I mean how hard is it to get back on track. I understand the falling of it but I don't understand the "I just can't get back on track." You control you, sit down, write down some goals and do what you have written on your plan. I'm not trying to be mean because I have to constantly pick myself up and dust myself off . Besides, I'm no where near goal, but come on, get back on your plan or choose a new plan and try again.

If you fall off, get back on again. If you really want it you have to force yourself to hang in there.

One more thing, if you keep failing at a plan maybe that's not the plan for you. You have to find something you enjoy doing for the rest of your life or it will never work for long.

Good luck :)

Lovely
11-17-2007, 08:11 AM
Why we initially fall off track can have many answers. Why we fail to get back on track immediately after a falling has only one. We've forgotten our lifetime commitment to this goal. And that's what this has to be in order to stick around forever. A commitment.

As suggested, in order to remember where you're going and why you're doing this, you may want to focus on a small goal or set of goals to get you motivated. You may want to "start over" by taking things one step at a time. (Planning some meals ahead of time, walking a few minutes a day to work up to 30 minutes, getting all your water in one sip at a time etc etc)

Plenty of people fall off the wagon. Remember your commitment. Your decision that your healthy is most important. You CAN keep going. You CAN do this. We're here for you :hug:

JayEll
11-17-2007, 08:35 AM
I've been in that place several times in the past. Do you know why it is you just stopped exercising and counting calories? Did you get tired of it? Did other things in your life intervene?

One of the inspiring Mods on 3FC, Meg, once said this: If you want it, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse. That really hit home for me, because in the past I had lots of "reasons" why I stopped watching my food and doing exercise. Too much work. Household projects. A trip that got me out of practice. Relationship difficulties. And on and on.

I'm with the other posters--eating right and getting enough exercise has to become a lifelong habit, not a short-term project. Otherwise, it seems like we just end up back where we started, and maybe even heavier.

I've been struggling lately with food because of the cold weather. I could have lost more weight than this by now--but I've managed at least not to gain. It's because no matter what happens, I remember what I'm doing. I keep on trying. I keep tracking calories, even when they are too high. I keep going for walks and going to the fitness center and trying an exercise video, even when I don't feel like it. That's what one has to do! Keep on! :cheer2:

You can do this. Look how far you've come! You really can do this! :cb:

Good luck!

Jay

Heather
11-17-2007, 08:53 AM
I've fallen off track and had a hard time getting back, too. Luckily for me, my old ways and habits didn't come completely back, but I still had that "out of control" feeling that is so terrifying.

I think one reason it can be difficult to get back on track, despite knowing what you need to do, is a kind of mental block. At least it's seemed that way for me. I do think it helps to engage in the sort of reflection Jay and others have mentioned. Why do you think you are sabotaging yourself?? It could be lots of reasons, but something is stopping you, and that something is you.

Sometimes, the continual trying finally clicks, and you're back. Other times it seems, you "figure it out" in other ways. Don't give up!!!

Sexyshado
11-17-2007, 09:06 AM
Why don't you just start out slow and ease your way into something again... I know most days I make excuses for exercise, but I find that I still get a decent amount of exercise between general housecleaning and running up and down the stairs all day. It may not be the greatest, but I know it's a start.

As for my eating, I usually eat small for breakfast and lunch.. A bowl of cereal, or oatmeal, or an egg with an english muffin. Lunch sometimes ends up being another bowl of cereal, leftovers, or a salad (if I have the stuff for it). I let dinner be most of my calories for the day, that way if we have something not so great, most likely it will still be in range for me. If I have something and still have calories to spare, I indulge and have some ice cream or something along those lines, because I know if I don't allow that stuff once in a while, I will go crazy one of these days.

Why not just start out changing 1 meal at a time, to something healthier. Make small changes and it will become a habit for you. If you have stairs, walk up and down a few times when you feel the fridge calling. If you watch tv, get up during commercials and walk around or march in place.

Good luck and best wishes to you.

srmb60
11-17-2007, 09:37 AM
I was taught to help folks ... and as you can see here ... lots of us want to! Never be afraid to ask.

I guess I've learned from 3FC too because nothing I thought I'd say is new or original in this thread. Catch yourself ... nothing is going to happen if you take a few moments to reconsider the next snack. Step away from it, do a little two step, stretch, change loads in the washer and dryer ... put some of the snack back away and then savour slooowly that portion you do have.

Everything you've learned before? it's in you ... you'll find it.

CountingDown
11-17-2007, 10:38 AM
When I fall off the wagon, it is as much physical as mental. My body craves food. I need to reach deep inside myself, pray for strength, and tell myself that I am going to do this for today. Only for today - nothing else. Then I do the same thing for another day. By day three, my body begins to adjust, I stop craving foods I shouldn't eat in abundance, my energy level goes up, my mood goes up and wow - I am back on track.

MrsWeaver
11-17-2007, 11:21 AM
Don't know if this will help at all but I recently fell off the wagon big time and it's taken a momentus effort to get back on track. I started by announcing to all my friends and family both on my blog and on my Facebook page that I am now back on a diet, I posted my current weight (despite the cringe-factor!) and my goal weight and why I want to do it (to look fab in a bridesmaid dress for my best friend next August). I'm now posting my weight loss (or gain!) every week so they'll all know how I'm doing and I've asked them all to be lovely to me if I lose lbs and horrible to me if I gain!

I know that all sounds quite simple but psychologically it's making a huge difference 'cause I'm now too scared to fail knowing that everyone will know about it! This prob won't work for everyone as it might be unneccessary pressure for some people but for me, having all my friends behind me is making me far more determined!

Good luck at geting back on track, it WILL be worth it in the end xxx

SunshineRunner
11-17-2007, 12:15 PM
I guess the only thing that keeps me on the wagon is knowing what my future holds as a healthy woman. There is so much more in my opinion.

I also personally...don't over-indulge - but don't restrict either. I have what I want. I'll admit I was tired the other night and had a medium french fries from Wendy's....I picked out all the yucky fries and ate only my favorites (the soggy ones) but I only have this moment about once a month...I allow myself to have the foods I love...but in moderation...I know - moderation is an awful term when you want to eat a huge meal from a fast food place or sit down and have a pizza....and you can...but one slice of pizza with a yummy salad will fill you up...

I hope you get back on track soon...it is so awful when you are off track....mentally & physically. Good luck with your journey and ask for help from us every day if you need it. we are all here for each other...or else we wouldn't be here at all.

ennay
11-17-2007, 12:41 PM
I've been in the same boat lately.

Exercise - just do it. Make it a priority There is no "too tired" because exercise will make you less tired and will also help with cravings and it will take up time you are currently using to eat. You arent too busy to exercise. If you were too busy to exercise, you would be too busy to eat and eat. Set your alarm clock 30 minutes earlier and just do it. If this sounds unsympathetic, its because I have used every excuse in the book and the truth is....they are all crap. Unless you are bedbound and deathly ill, you can make time.

Eating - I've been trying the "ease back in to it method" and the "get back to what I was doing" and not doing well, for me what is working is going hardcore back to the basics of the diet. I think once you are off track for more than a few days, you have to treat it the way you started...remember when you were all gung ho? Pretend until you make it real.

My diet is roughly based on SouthBeach, so I went back to SBD phase 1. There will be time later to work on treats or whatever. So here is a different perspective. If you cant get back on track doing what you WERE doing, do something different. I am a big believer that any diet has to be something you can do for life, but sometimes to regain control you have to overcontrol. Pick a stricter diet and stick to it for just 3 days, then try to slowly work back to a lifestyle. One item at a time. I believe that the most important part of the "strict phases" in a lot of diets is not the magical alchemy they all profess...its to prove to yourself that you are in charge of what you eat, the food is not in charge of you.

And clean out the house. Get rid of the junk, dont drive with your wallet in the car (put it in the trunk so you cant hit drive-throughs). Leave credit cards at home and only bring enough cash for what you need for the day. What ever you have to do.

Focus on behavior, not the scale. I took my ticker down and my goal is now based on staying on track for the rest of the month. I know I will eat on thanksgiving, I know I will eat at a party I am going to on the 29th. Other than that I want 2 clean weeks.

MelKnee
11-17-2007, 02:09 PM
Melknee I am right there with you. I am trying SO hard to get back on track but I cant. What you typed up there is EXACTLY where I am its scary. I need help too. Your not alone! Maybe we can support each other ... ??
Yes! We can support each other. :) One thing that helped me before was doing a Challenge. Would you be interested in doing something like that?

MelKnee
11-17-2007, 02:11 PM
I feel really proud because I slacked off the last few weeks and didn't gain anything back - shows my eating habits are much better. The small goal thing is the best idea and has worked well for me. Even in 5 pound increments - totally reachable and not overwhelming. Maybe cut back one thing a day that you know you are overdoing - a bagel - that extra serving of potato at dinner - whatever - and MOVE - even if its just 15 minutes a day. Walk around at lunch if you can - or when you first get home - before the business of the household chores takes you away. YOU CAN DO IT !!!!!!!

I agree that just saying "NO" to one thing is what I need to do. Right now, I sat down to respond to this thread instead of getting a bowl of chocloate chips. I say "NO" to those chips! I will not get them at all today!
And I'm going to take my kids and dogs for a walk today!

MelKnee
11-17-2007, 02:14 PM
You just have to do it. I don't really understand "I just can't get back on track" I mean how hard is it to get back on track.

For me, it is very hard. I am a compulsive eater and an emotional eater. I have always stuffed my feelings down with food. It is a very hard habit to break. When I eat, I don't have to think, so I just keep eating.

MelKnee
11-17-2007, 02:17 PM
Why we initially fall off track can have many answers. Why we fail to get back on track immediately after a falling has only one. We've forgotten our lifetime commitment to this goal. And that's what this has to be in order to stick around forever. A commitment.


So true. So true.
This is really helping. I am sooooo glad I asked for help. I am starting to remember the reasons I wanted to lose weight. Today, I am going to type them down again and reaffrim my goals in my head and heart.:carrot:

MelKnee
11-17-2007, 02:24 PM
I've been in that place several times in the past. Do you know why it is you just stopped exercising and counting calories? Did you get tired of it? Did other things in your life intervene?

One of the inspiring Mods on 3FC, Meg, once said this: If you want it, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse. That really hit home for me, because in the past I had lots of "reasons" why I stopped watching my food and doing exercise. Too much work. Household projects. A trip that got me out of practice. Relationship difficulties. And on and on.


I'm afraid to admit to myself that I stopped because I got to my "wall". Over the last 22 years, I have lost weight several times. I have never gotten below 203. I got to 202 this time. Part of me was thrilled that I'd finally broken my wall. PArt of me was terrified to keep going into "uncharted territory". And part of me was just plain sure I couldn't do it. :(

Meg is wise. :D When things were working for me, I made sure I got my exercise in. I planned my meals and snacks before hand, so I knew what was going to happen. I can get back there!

MelKnee
11-17-2007, 02:26 PM
I think one reason it can be difficult to get back on track, despite knowing what you need to do, is a kind of mental block. At least it's seemed that way for me. I do think it helps to engage in the sort of reflection Jay and others have mentioned. Why do you think you are sabotaging yourself?? It could be lots of reasons, but something is stopping you, and that something is you.

Sometimes, the continual trying finally clicks, and you're back. Other times it seems, you "figure it out" in other ways. Don't give up!!!

Yes, as I said above, I think hitting my "wall" was my mental block. I was afraid of going where I haven't been before. I can do this!

MelKnee
11-17-2007, 02:30 PM
Why not just start out changing 1 meal at a time, to something healthier. Make small changes and it will become a habit for you. If you have stairs, walk up and down a few times when you feel the fridge calling. If you watch tv, get up during commercials and walk around or march in place.


This is how I am going to start again. I had a great breakfast and am planning a great lunch. I am taking this one meal at a time. Planning what I am going to eat before I want to eat is giving me renewed strength. I'm starting to feel in control again.

MelKnee
11-17-2007, 02:32 PM
I was taught to help folks ... and as you can see here ... lots of us want to! Never be afraid to ask.

I guess I've learned from 3FC too because nothing I thought I'd say is new or original in this thread. Catch yourself ... nothing is going to happen if you take a few moments to reconsider the next snack. Step away from it, do a little two step, stretch, change loads in the washer and dryer ... put some of the snack back away and then savour slooowly that portion you do have.

Everything you've learned before? it's in you ... you'll find it.

That's what helped me before. Catching myself. I just needed a reminder that I can do that.

MelKnee
11-17-2007, 02:34 PM
When I fall off the wagon, it is as much physical as mental. My body craves food. I need to reach deep inside myself, pray for strength, and tell myself that I am going to do this for today. Only for today - nothing else. Then I do the same thing for another day. By day three, my body begins to adjust, I stop craving foods I shouldn't eat in abundance, my energy level goes up, my mood goes up and wow - I am back on track.

This is another thing I needed to be reminded of. Going day by day.

MelKnee
11-17-2007, 02:37 PM
Don't know if this will help at all but I recently fell off the wagon big time and it's taken a momentus effort to get back on track. I started by announcing to all my friends and family both on my blog and on my Facebook page that I am now back on a diet, I posted my current weight (despite the cringe-factor!) and my goal weight and why I want to do it (to look fab in a bridesmaid dress for my best friend next August). I'm now posting my weight loss (or gain!) every week so they'll all know how I'm doing and I've asked them all to be lovely to me if I lose lbs and horrible to me if I gain!

I know that all sounds quite simple but psychologically it's making a huge difference 'cause I'm now too scared to fail knowing that everyone will know about it! This prob won't work for everyone as it might be unneccessary pressure for some people but for me, having all my friends behind me is making me far more determined!

Good luck at geting back on track, it WILL be worth it in the end xxx

:fr: Actually, no, that doesn't sound simple. That sounds terriffing. :joker: I don't discuss my weight with anyone IRL. I will take it into consideration though.

MelKnee
11-17-2007, 02:39 PM
I guess the only thing that keeps me on the wagon is knowing what my future holds as a healthy woman. There is so much more in my opinion.


Yes, I need to focus on the small goals, but always keep the big picture in mind. I definitely lost that. All I could see was the food I wasn't getting to eat. I will plant the image of a healthy me in my mind and let it grow.

MelKnee
11-17-2007, 02:41 PM
I think once you are off track for more than a few days, you have to treat it the way you started...remember when you were all gung ho? Pretend until you make it real.

Sounds kind of like bringing the spark back into a relationship. :D And tha'ts always fun, so this will be, too!

MelKnee
11-17-2007, 02:43 PM
Thank you all so much!!! I feel so much better this morning and it is because of your caring and wise words. :carrot:

:hug:

lointhecity
11-18-2007, 05:50 AM
Thank you all so much!!! I feel so much better this morning and it is because of your caring and wise words. :carrot:

:hug:

that's so good!! i remember when I fell off the wagon a couple of months ago, NOTHING ANYONE said could make me snap out of it. I just convinced myself that I'd never lost weight and that this was my first diet, total lie, of course. but it WORKED!! I am now entering my 3rd week of my "first diet" and I really enjoy it!! I've been very sick the last couple of days and I stayed COMPLETELY on my diet. I feel so proud!!
how are you doing?

JayEll
11-18-2007, 08:54 AM
lointhecity, you ROCK! :congrat:

Jay

RedHeadLongLegs
11-18-2007, 10:29 AM
I think we have all been in that boat. You have asked for help, that's step one. Step two is all up to you. Do it whether it is eating a celery stick instead of a cookie or walking around the block instead of sitting watching tv. You have taken one, just take one more. That's all it takes! Little steps are so easy. Just do it! Just do number two!! You can do it!!

lointhecity
11-18-2007, 08:10 PM
lointhecity, you ROCK! :congrat:

Jay

Thank you JayEll!! :o