General chatter - Negative = Disappointment?

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wifey bullseye
11-08-2007, 10:48 AM
Ok, so I took a pregnancy test this morning - and it came out negative. My husband and I are not trying for children in any way. I am not on birth control because my body reacted very badly to several different types (and this isn't including the weight gain of 20lbs in 8 weeks), but we are using other methods...:dizzy: ...and I'm late.

If we aren't trying, aren't planning, aren't ready in any way (even though we're both 26)...why do I feel disappointed that the results are negative? :?:

11-08-2007, 10:57 AM
Maybe you have a secret fear of infertility?

11-08-2007, 11:09 AM
I know how you feel. I have no kids & my DH had a vasectomy years before I met him but I still get my hopes up when I am a few days late but the test always tell me no. I still believe in miracles. Keep your head up - when the time is right for you guys it will happen.

11-08-2007, 12:11 PM
This happened to me once when I was younger. I think I was 23, but married at the time. We weren't ready for kids, but it was still disappointing. I think that even though it is something you weren't planning for, that doesn't necessarily mean it is something you don't want. Its just that you don't think you are ready for it NOW. Then you think ... maybe it will happen now and that might not be so bad. But then it comes back negative so of course you are relieved and disappointed at the same time!

Those tests can have false negatives, so make sure to give us an update if, within a couple of days, you are still late and take another test ;)

11-08-2007, 12:29 PM
It makes sense. I didn't think I would ever be ready to have kids, then one day I decided to just see what happened with my husband (he was eager for children). Once we, you know, I couldn't get my mind off of it, and became obsessed with every possible sign I could be pregnant. Then we spent the rest of the week making sure we did everything we could to get a BFP, and I ended up being pregnant! So I don't know, once it became a real possibility I realized I really wanted a baby. It was that immediate for me.

I agree with modkittn, it could just be too early and be a false negative.

11-08-2007, 12:30 PM
I guess I'm the opposite, I always cheer when they come back negative, I also cheer when TOM hits :)

11-08-2007, 12:51 PM
The same thing has happened to me a couple times. Generally when TOM comes it is no big deal, but something about taking that test....

Anyway, that just means you'll be that excited when the time finally comes for you two to have kids. At least you know it's not the other way around!

11-08-2007, 12:56 PM
I guess I'm the opposite, I always cheer when they come back negative, I also cheer when TOM hits :)

Yeah, me too. And I've been on the pill for ages so I have no reason to think my period will ever be late, but it's still a nice little reassurance. I guess I know I'm really averse to the thought of pregnancy right now, because just thinking about taking a pregnancy test kind of makes me want to throw up a little.

I think maybe your disappointment could mean it's something you want even if you don't feel ready. But I don't know that anyone ever really knows they’re ready for that sort of thing. Sorry, I'm of no help :p

11-09-2007, 10:48 AM
I think it's totally normal, and I've heard the same thing from a bunch of people. It seems like you want kids eventually, and you've probably had that "there's no right time for anything" message drilled into your head for awhile- which is a terrible concept, in my opinion! We all know there are right times for most big life changes... but it doesn't change the fact that sometimes we want them to be now. Besides, after the initial nervousness and terrified feeling, your mind starts to wander and think about the positive aspects of something.

Also, if there are other things going on in your life, it can give you something else to focus on.

Hope you feel better! You're still so young, and one day you'll be ready.

11-09-2007, 11:02 AM
Like all the other posters said you may not be ready but you still want kids and it is a dissapointment when you take the test believing to see a + and it's a -. I was 23 when I got pregnant with my first son, I was engaged to my husband then and we were living with his parents. Really not the best "time". But when is really the perfect time to have a child? People always say I want to make more money, get a bigger house and so one but in my situation everything worked itself out just fine. We moved out and got married before our son was born.We planned our second son and I couldn't have been more happy to see that positive, a real change from the first one when I cried I was so scared.

wifey bullseye
11-09-2007, 01:23 PM
You guys sure know how to make a girl feel better. :hug:

mom says my body is still reacting to the effects of the birth control. :rolleyes: hubby thinks i'm stressed...:shrug:

regardless of what it 'could' be, if i haven't started by monday, i'm calling the dr. :?:

on the flip side, i've lost the weight i gained the past two weeks. :dance:

11-09-2007, 01:36 PM
It's a good idea to see a doctor. It's not in the realm of possibility for me to be pregnant, but lately I've gotten my period about 2 weeks "late" on average. It's never normal.. I think it's stress related.

Hope the dr visit goes well! Congrats on the loss!