Goal! - NightengaleShane's story - 40 lbs lost

I hit my GOAL and I have YOU ALL to thank!!

I went from 175 to 135; from a size 12-14 to a size 4-6; from hating my love handles to having a well-defined waist; from hating all physical activity to getting antsy when I’m not working out; from being disgusted by my thunder thighs to proudly wearing short skirts; from immense self hatred to genuine self love; from contemplating suicide to being one of the most positive people on the planet… and the list goes on.

Here’s my story. Beware, it’s LONG!

First off, I have a history of body dysmorphia (sp?). I was a skinny kid, so I ate all the time. In middle school, puberty hit me with a bang and I gained a massive amount of weight. This caused my peers to ridicule me incessantly and set the foundation for my high school eating disorders. While I stopped practicing eating disordered behavior at the age of 18, the mindset remained – I was still unbelievably afraid of getting fat.

When I first started posting here (in early June), I was twenty pounds overweight, extremely negative, had immense social anxiety, and felt over 30 even though I hadn’t turned 21 yet! I overate for the same reasons alcoholics binge drink – it drowned out my sorrows and gave me a hint of comfort – a hint of comfort that was later swallowed by regret.

What went wrong, you ask? Financial stress: bad checks from clients, a failing business and a mountain of debt. Lack of a social life. Feeling homesick for Washington DC. This all led to relationship troubles. I was *depressed* and I – the person once known as the eternal optimist – even contemplated suicide and wondered if life was worth it. It feels so bizarre to think about that time in my life, because I honestly feel like a different person now.

The weight came on so quickly – 50 pounds in 6 months – and I wondered what the **** happened! Suddenly, I was no longer able to fit my clothes. Suddenly, I had a double chin, a gut, love handles, back fat, and thunder thighs. Suddenly, I grew an ***! WOW! I really liked the ***, but I hated the rest.

I began to hate myself. Before the weight gain, I was exceptionally confident and exceedingly outgoing, but after those evil 50 pounds suddenly appeared on my body, I didn’t even want to go outside! I was once the girl that would look great no matter what I had planned for the day. However, once I gained weight, I started going grocery shopping in my pajamas, wearing sweatpants and dingy t-shirts to work, and I even stopped styling my hair.

The cat calls I used to receive within literally one minute of walking out the door turned into cattle calls. Stupid frat boys who I once enjoyed blowing off yelled out things like, “MOOOOO COW!” and, “FAT!!! HAHAHA FATTY!” People often perceive me to be a tough chick, but this kind of thing really made me cry… once I was out of anyone’s sight, of course. Anytime this happened, I decided to yell back, “:censored: YOU! Fat people have feelings, too!”

Now, I get cat calls and turn heads again. I can smile again. I can try on clothes without bursting into tears. I’m not angry anymore. I no longer feel chronically sick, disgusting, and bloated because I no longer overeat. Sometimes, I even feel sexy again – it’s strange to feel sexy, as I haven’t for over a year! I’m no longer negative; I try to focus on the positive things my life has to offer. Embarking on this journey has changed SO many aspects of my life, many of which are not even physical. I just feel like ME again – and after feeling depressed, jaded, and ugly, I never thought I’d see my former self staring right back at me!

I have so much more passion and dedication towards life in general. I made so many excuses for not LIVING because I was overweight. I stopped acting, I stopped modeling, I stopped trying to get bands together, and I even stopped being social, but now that I'm no longer that person, I'm ready to finally get out there again! I’ve started arranging business plans to get my companies and ideas off the ground. I have so much energy and vitality… and oh! I no longer feel like a burnout whose best years have passed!

I've never truly been fit and healthy until now.

Thank you, lovely ladies. I couldn’t have done it without you. No one was around to give me any kind of support until I came here. I was relatively unmotivated until I saw your success stories. Your encouragement forced me to stay on plan; I can’t thank you all enough for it.

Thank you so much for posting your amazing weight loss journey. It means so much to those of us just starting out. Stories like yours give me hope that I can reach my goal too. You are an inspiration to so many people like myself. Thank you.

Congratulations Shane!!! :celebrate::congrat::bravo:

I know you have worked so hard to lose weight, get fit, and adopt healthier habits (bodily and mentally). Your posts are often so mature that I forget how young you are (this coming from my 'old lady' self, hehe). I know this is just the start of a lifetime of good health and happiness for you.

Well done!

Congratulations!! your hard work has really paid off! you look fabulous!

Suddenly, I grew an ***! WOW! I really liked the ***, but I hated the rest.

I'm sorry, but I lost it right there. Coffee all over the keyboard. :rofl:

Thanks for putting it all into words ... it's so honest, so heartfelt, and so YOU! :hug: Megan's right; you're a wise soul and seem so much more mature than a lot of us old folks. Thank heavens that you got smart and figured out this weight loss stuff while you're still YOUNG and have time to truly live and enjoy your life.

Congratulations, Aidyn! We're all so, so proud of you. :grouphug:

Kudos to you Nite! I wish you success in your maintenance and your career life too, go you and become a successful lil entrepreneur!

Great job, NS! Love your pics, and thanks for sharing your story.

Yay, Shane! You look fabulous, darlink!

wow. What an amazing story.

Congratulations on your loss.

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^^^^
I tried to do a round of applause, but the layout of the clapping smilies wouldn't stay in the shape of an "O". Nothing stays round around these parts for long, I guess...even the smilies go from O-shaped to skinny! :lol: :dizzy:

At any rate...

Congratulations on your transformation, inside and out. Reading your story made me really proud of you for all you've overcome! Looking forward to seeing you in the maintenance section! :carrot:

Thank you for posting your story! Not only is it truly impressing, but I must admit it's exactly the kind of thing I needed to read right now. You go! :)

Thanks for posting your story and your pictures -- you look wonderful!! I always look forward to reading your posts because you're so positive, intelligent, and encouraging! Congratulations! :hug:

Shane, I was thinking the same thing as Megan and Meg. You are so mature sounding and wise beyond your years, I forget how young you are sometimes. Which makes what you did and how you did it, even that much more remarkable. How someone so young can get it together so fully and totally is quite a feat.

Anyway, I'm just so very happy for you. You've set yourself up for a long life of good health and happiness. You sound so vital and exuberant and it's simply marvelous!! Congratulations on your huge accomplishment. I feel so fortunate to have been able to share in your journey even a tiny bit. I look forward to spending many successful years in maintenance with you. :)

Congratulations on reaching your target. Thanks for sharing your story of your weight gain/loss. It is very inspirational showing me and other like myself that no matter how you feel their is something that you can do for yourself.

From someone here who has alway been overweight I fully understand the name calling and the crying behind closed doors. People think because your overweight your deaf or have no feelings.

I only wish that I had started my weight loss journey as young as yourself as then I would not have had so much weight to lose and also since then I have been dx with MS which makes exercising difficult.

Enjoy your new body and enjoy your success you deserve it for all your hard work.

Congratulations ^^ Thanks for posting your story. I read these when the times get tough and know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

What a GREAT success story! You touched on so many struggles that many of us go through! You have emerged from your cocoon as a beautiful butterfly! Your pictures are fantastic :)

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

:dancer: :bravo: :cp: :cb:

I'm so thrilled for you!! You are a true inspiration and I am so amazed by your determination and courage. Thank you for everything!!

I can't wait to hear your continued success story, N-Shane!!

Aww I loved your story, it made me cry cause it just seems so similar. I know right now I feel like never going out, and how it can affect you. I don't dress up or even bother looking nice because it seems like there is no point in it all, and yeah crying when trying on clothes sucks. So I hope to change, and I'll think of you some along my journey.

P.S. You look hott!!!

OMG you look so pretty!!i really wish i could be you!

:congrat: Nightengale Shane! What a great thread to bookmark for inspiration to lose weight (and have fun with a camera;)

Shane,

Thanks so much for posting all the pics. I saw your 'before' pic and it gave me hope! That's what I look like now (only my hair is a bit shorter ;)), and seeing your after pics really helped me believe that it *can* happen!

Thanks mucho.

I tried to do a round of applause, but the layout of the clapping smilies wouldn't stay in the shape of an "O". Nothing stays round around these parts for long, I guess...even the smilies go from O-shaped to skinny!


:rofl: That was so cute!

purpleorc - a few potential words of inspiration... my mom also has MS and had a VERY difficult time losing weight. She was overweight for quite a long time despite eating healthily because MS really does stunt weight loss...
...however...
she's lost around 60 pounds now which puts her at a healthy weight, and I'm helping her lose the last 5 by trying to compose a low-impact exercise plan + helping her make a few dietary adjustments. She's losing weight at a slower clip, but she IS still losing - and look! you have lost 75 pounds already! GOOD job! :D

robin - in a way, you have shared in my journey MORE than a tiny bit, because the day I began my journey was the day I registered here at 3FC! So, you and the rest of 3FC really have been here through the entire thing! :) And thank you (and Meg and Megan - hehe) for thinking I'm mature beyond my years... I often forget my age because I feel ageless. People ask me how old I am and I have to think about it sometimes :lol:

wifey bullseye- hee, well, your hair probably looks better than mine did at my HW - I was needing a haircut BAD in those pictures and I thought it looked cute :lol: Little did I realize that that surfer girl type thing I was trying to pull off only looks good on non chunky people :lol: But yup, have hope! You will look great at 135 :D

NightengaleShane, you have come so far! And it probably seems light years away now, but to think you first started posting here May 2007. Gosh, that's only six months ago! And yet, you stayed with your plan, through thick and thin "etc." sometimes really strictly, sometimes not... but stayed none the less! And you have your proof--that determination and dedication and commitment DO pay off.

Congratulations, HotGrrl!

Jay

Congrats girl, you've done a great job and are quite an inspiration!

of people who stuck to it, and won! Yahhooie!

Again I continue to be inspired by the stories of weight loss!

=P You wanna put HOW you did it?

XD I kid, I kid (No I don't!)

I'm proud of you!

You've done so good and you look amazing! You're deffinately an inspiration to me - I was also very skinny growing up, and when I hit puberty my weight went from 100 lbs to 205 in a couple of short years. I had done the yo yo thing and it didn't get me anywhere.

To see what you have been through (and still some of the stresses with your family and partner) I really do admire your strength.

Great job!

Congrats, Shane! You are awesome! Thanks for posting your story.

Hee, Jay, I love how you keep calling me hot :D *ego explosion*

Gamerchick... I would put how I did it, but it would bore the **** out of everyone. ;) I wish I had the magic weight loss secret... I would be rich. I may, however, have the secret to great abs, which I will post once mine are fully developed...

tamaralynn, :o thank you. you know, I wonder why this happens to so many women - we will be skinny little girls, and then puberty arrives and we suddenly become Good Year blimps ;) For me, the craziest part of it all was that until I stepped on a scale and started getting called fat, I thought I was STILL the skinny kid that I used to be :lol: delusional much? ;)

n=shane...you do look hot. Its amazing how quickly you lost the weight and how dedicated you were. You are an inspiration to so many here. Keep up the great work...you look amazing!

I hit my GOAL and I have YOU ALL to thank!!..........................................

Thank you, lovely ladies. I couldn’t have done it without you.

:hug: Great job KIDDO!

but ....humph......lovely ladies.....humph.....;)

Wow! Awesome story. I love reading these weight loss goal stories. They are so inspiring.

You look fabulous in your pics. ;)

Great story. You were beautiful before, but you look so gorgeous and full of life now. I am glad you have found happiness and wish you much luck in your life.

Wow you look absolutely fantastic!! You've come so far since i first saw u here on 3fc, congrats and thanks for the inspiration to keep going! Although it's slow progress for me, it's still progress, so thanks for keeping me motivated to lose it all :D

:celebrate:

Awesome job! I was on here with you when you were at the higher end like in the 160s and I remember how focused you kept me. Now seeing this will only make it better. I quit...and look at you...you reached your goal in that time. It makes me see how far I could've came and how far I will come. I remember that you had down days just like the rest of us but you obviously kept pluggin away. Good for you. I am so proud of you!

OooOoOooh! Well done!! Great job girl I knew you could do it!

wow great job...your are quite an inspiration. You are looking good, keep up the good work!

Congrats! I saw your before and after pics and you look amazing!

:o as I've said before, it's really awesome to me knowing that there are people who find me an inspiration :o

I remember coming here and reading the goal stories and getting inspired also, thinking, "If all these people can lose so much weight, so can I!" so it is cool that I can give the same thoughts of hope to others... :)

Fine, GARY... thank you ladies and GARY ;) (and Bill, too...:p)

settie - thank you, you have come quite a ways also! only 25 more pounds to go until you've lost 100! :eek: congrats!

LynseyLikes2Lose - I remember you posting quite a bit around the time I first joined 3FC... and I remember enjoying your posts and wondering where you disappeared... you are absolutely right that you can still get to your goal. :D

sockmonkey - you're already gorgeous right now... once YOU hit goal, you're going to look beyond amazing :)

addisonsmommy - thanks for the pic compliment - Addison is adorable (looked at your icon and profile) and you are very pretty also.

OMG!!!!!! YOU are such an inspiration. I was 172 this morning and you are were I want to be. Last spring I lost 19lbs and gained 15 back :( Its not like I don't know what to do to lose and keep it off I just got so off track and could never recover. I'm starting fresh on Monday. You give me hope!!!! :hug:

Wow, NightengaleShane! I remember when I started posting here in the beginning of summer of '07, maybe shortly after you began posting because I think we had both only lost a small portion of our weight at that point.

And now, I am seriously SO excited to see you are at goal! I admire your motivation and conviction greatly. I fell off the wagon in July and never got back on, but looking at this makes me realize that I *could have* been at goal weight by now, too.

I'm just now starting, like I did back then... but better late than never, I guess! You look amazing, especially your facial features. :) I think we have really similar bodies / styles so this post seriously means a lot to me!

Congrats! High Five!

Your story inspires me.

AWESOME!!! :D

Congrats!! :carrot:

That is such an inspiring story!!

Great job, keep up the good work! You look amazing.

wow congratulation. I'm amazed because the way you felt is exactly how I feel. I don't put effort into myself anymore. I'm constantly falling off the wagon. Being overweight has affected my confidence in every aspect of my life. Listening to your story makes me believe I can do it after all

So awesome! What inspiration!

Hey NightengaleShane,
I was just telling my husband that I lacked motivation. One, I thought I was the only person who could put on 50 pounds in 6 months. It took me 6months to lose 22 lbs and I let a few things discourage me and take me off course. Thanks for sharing your story, and your pics of your "fat" pants that I wish I could fit in right now..lol.. I am so happy for you and I look forward to seeing that you hit your fit goal and see your washboard abs again. I wish you the best.