Support Groups - Brides to be! part deux




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shananigans
11-05-2007, 01:08 PM
The place for all your wedding planning (and related weight loss) madness. Post away!


junebug41
11-05-2007, 01:16 PM
Woo hoo! Thanks for starting the new thread :)

Re: the alcohol issue- we are also microbrew folks and there is a GREAT microbrewery across from the wedding site I think we're going to have growlers brought in for the wedding party.

Well, we have officially hit the point where we are ready to take the money we were going to spend on the wedding and go to Europe or something. We didn't realize that the wedding is the weekend before the Democratic National Convention in Denver (big "oops" on that one!), although the wedding is in the mountains and you don't necessarily have to fly into DIA, the flights will be expensive regardless and there isn't a hotel room available at this point. Thank goodness we decided on a big block at our hotel!!!

I dunno, I want a wedding, Ross wants a big party, and we deserve these things, but we are ready to just throw our hands up and run off because of all the silly drama and endles whining.

mama2james
11-05-2007, 03:03 PM
Thanks so much for the input ladies!!! :)

I kinda feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place though :( The venue I picked and put a big non-refundable down on (lol) won't allow any outside alcohol to be served, therefore I have to pay full price 4-5 dollars for every drink. They will however allow me to purchase bottles of wine from them to be placed on the tables which saves me a bit of money as I won't have to pay by the glass. I'm thinking if I came to a compromise like a twoonie bar or something it might be better?

Being able to give the guests a nice sit down supper in a beautiful setting was top priority for me and I'm kinda dreading the thought that guests will think we're being cheap because we really aren't between the cost of food and wine. I hope I don't regret my decision of the venue.... :(


mama2james
11-05-2007, 03:04 PM
I also have to add that you both have done such an incredible job with your weight loss, what an inspiration you are!!! I love seeing people who succeed, it gives me faith I can too :D

Irishowl
11-05-2007, 09:53 PM
Can I play? I'm Shannon and my partner and I are planning our commitment ceremony for June 20, 2009. That is our 5 year anniversary! We are already "legally" commited, we registered with the state as domestic partners September 29, 2005. I'm excited to be planning our ceremony!

Weight loss:
When we started dating I lost some weight very quickly, just being happy and love sick! I've lost my motivation between work and school, but I'm trying to get back on the wagon. I'd like to lose 85 pounds by June 1, 2009 so that I can order my wedding dress!

Shannon

mandalinn82
11-05-2007, 11:13 PM
Shannon - We did that! Sarah and I had our ceremony April 21st of this year. If you need any info on same sex ceremonies, I am your woman (I have all the books and websites and...and... :D )

Irishowl
11-06-2007, 11:39 AM
Thank you! I'd love it if you could point me in the direction of some websites, I haven't had too much luck. I have found that The Knot has a handful of same sex weddings featured. Where did you have your ceremony? I think we've decided on The Mendocino Hotel and Garden Suites, Mendocino is our special place and we'd love to share that with friends and family. They are right across the street from the ocean, so we can have our ceremony at the cliff's edge and then the reception at the hotel.
We are having a fairly traditional wedding I suppose. I will wear a wedding dress. I have no clue what Shelley will wear. She wants to pick her out outfit but does not want to wear a suit, dress or tux. I am going to guess that it will either be khakis with a white linen shirt untucked, or with a Hawaian print shirt. I'm going to carry a bouquet of circus roses and Shelley will wear a lei.
We have lots of time to plan though, thank goodness! In the summer we are going to spend a few days in Mendocino firming up plans with vendors and putting down deposits. Then we'll have another year to iron out all the details.

I have a question for you about ring exchange. We both wear sapphire and diamond rings, our engagment rings. Because of that I'm not sure we will do a ring exchange in our ceremony. Shelley does not plan to wear anything other than her current ring. I would like to have a diamond band made to fit with my current ring. Did you do a ring exchange? Do you wear engagment rings and wedding bands? Or something else? Thanks for your input! We don't know any other couples who have had a ceremony before, or even done a domestic partnership before. All of our lesbian friends are content in long term relationships with no legal commitments........:dizzy:

Shannon


Shannon - We did that! Sarah and I had our ceremony April 21st of this year. If you need any info on same sex ceremonies, I am your woman (I have all the books and websites and...and... :D )

Lafayette
11-10-2007, 10:06 AM
Mandalinn- So glad to hear you are back up and almost running!!! Me, too! I start at the gym next week... thank God!

BuffBride- Cash bar weddings are very common in Wisconsin. Often, the couple will provide beer only and guests pay for their own wine and mixed drinks. Occassionally- but very seldom- the couple will also pay for champagne for the toasts but even that has become less common over the past 5-10 years as most people don't like champagne and/or don't like to mix alcohol. It's the good German practicality...

Talk to your venue about ways to reduce the amount of drinks served, too. We are having an open bar with a few key elements that limit how much people can drink. We'll have a cocktail hour where anything goes, followed by wine with dinner (cheaper than mixed drinks), followed by dessert and after dinner liquors (hard to pound limoncello and Bailey's), then back to whatever people would like. After 1-2 cocktails, 1-2 glasses of wine and 1 liquor, I expect most people will be done.

I would not worry about guests feeling you've been cheap if you choose to have a cash bar- some will and there's nothing you can do to change that. Most guests have no idea what a wedding costs and will eat their words the next time they have to pay towards one!

Lafayette
11-10-2007, 10:12 AM
Shannon- My fiance asked for a good watch as his "engagement ring." Would Shelley be interested in something like that? I also have a friend who proudly wears her engagement necklace.

Irishowl
11-10-2007, 12:02 PM
We both already have rings because we got engaged in May 2005 and then became domestic partners 4 months later. I would still like to do a ring exchange so maybe we will just exchange the rings we already have. I want to wear a diamond wedding band with my e ring but Shelley just wants to wear her e ring. I'll try to post a picture of our rings. Mine is the 3 stone sapphire/diamond ring. Shelley's is the criss cross band with a sapphire in the center.

Lafayette
11-10-2007, 04:48 PM
Those rings are awesome!

I have the super-traditional diamond solitaire but, since my fiance knows me, the setting and ring are about as ballistic as fine jewelry can get. I am also looking at a diamond wedding band and, based on the website picture, I really like a bar set band from Precision Set (model 6319). How far I've come from just wanting a plain gold band...

I just have to share... even though we got engaged over New Years', we are having an engagement cocktail party (we had to wrangle a few family members from overseas) in a few weeks... note I said "cocktail party." My mother called to say my aunt and uncle will be coming... with their two small children.

All of our friends with children are a) able to comprehend without prompting that cocktail parties are not for children and b) have stated they are looking forward to an evening without them. I feel bad for these friends because, at the end of the party, I will return to my relatively peacefull child-free existence. They will go home and pay the sitters they so wisely hired, robbed of an evening of peaceful adult conversation.

This is just a rant with the hope that someone else is swallowing their opinion and putting up with this or something similar... misery loves company :)

Telling my aunt and uncle anything is useless- they love their children and feel compelled to inflict them (they are spoiled brats) on everyone until we all feel the same way. I mentioned that children will not be invited to the wedding because all of our friends have young children and would, frankly, outnumber the adults. My aunt had a melt-down about how SURELY her children would be included. My mother issued the edict that her children be included to maintain the peace... need I mention that, in addition to interrupting and demanding the center of attention, it will also cost $50/kid to feed them and God only knows what to pay a sitter because my aunt and uncle adopt the obnoxious "it takes a village (of everyone but us)" principal when it comes to watching their children at family events?

scgirlie
11-10-2007, 09:38 PM
Hello All,
I just celebrated my 6th anniversary, so I'm not exactly a newlywed anymore, but I know what worked, and what didn't, when we tied the knot.
The Best Thing we did for our wedding: We had a Quaker Wedding Certificate. I'm not a Quaker, but I used their custom: Quakers don't have ministers. So, when they marry, everyone who witnesses the union signs a paper to legalize the marriage. I printed out our vows onto a large piece of colored poster paper, my Mom painted a folksy-type flower wreath around it, and everybody at the wedding (all 30 of them) signed the certificate. I've had it matted and framed, and I love it so much more than my bridal portrait. I like knowing that everyone there that day touched that same piece of paper. It's a piece of history; 2 people who signed have passed away now, and two people who signed have married now. The little fellow who left a child's scratchy signature is 13 years old now.

I even got our vows from a Quaker marriage-certificate website. I think it might have been intended for a same-sex couple, but it worked well for us.

Best Wishes, and Good Luck,
Lesley

Lafayette
11-11-2007, 09:09 AM
Lesley, that's such a neat idea! I have a guest list that has now reached obnoxious proportions but that sounds like a fun way to cull out our nearest and dearest and give them a special role in the day. Thanks so much for the suggestion!

Irishowl
11-11-2007, 11:46 AM
Lesley,

That is a neat idea! I've been thinking about having our guests sign a picture mat and then using that in the framing of one of our wedding pictures.


Shannon

Lafayette
11-11-2007, 02:42 PM
Another cool idea... we both love history so we bought a picture book of old photos to use in place of the traditional guest book. I got the idea from a bride who bought a book of pictures of famous brides and used it as her guest book. This way, it can be on my coffee table forever.

Irishowl
11-11-2007, 04:42 PM
Lafayette - I think that is a great way to personalize your wedding! That is what we are trying to do, little personal touches that have sentimental value to us! That's one of the reasons we are getting married in Mendocino, it's a special place to us and something we want to share with our friends and family.

Shannon

Irishowl
11-11-2007, 04:48 PM
I feel like we've made so many big decisions already that we will be a year away from the wedding with nothing to do!:o We've already:

Decided on a venue, date, officiant, photographer, florist, baker
Decided on cake design, flowers, ceremony decorations, reception decorations, centerpieces, style, theme, colors, and invitations!

A few pics of what we have planned, my bouquet, Shelley's lei and the invitations we will order:

Lafayette
11-11-2007, 09:05 PM
You do have a lot done, Shannon!

Trust me, I have everything organized and ahead of schedule, too, and there are some things you just can't do ahead of time. There will still be plenty to do! You'll still have seating charts and placecards, if you make them. Plus, most brides wait to create and print their programs until the last month before the wedding, too.

I'm having my invitations printed two months before they need to be in the mail so I have plenty of time to stuff them. Thank God the printer is doing the names and addresses when he does the return addresses on the envelopes so that horrible chore is done!

Are you registering anywhere? That can be a fun next step! We actually found our band at Macy's...

atxgirl
11-12-2007, 12:56 AM
Hello ladies,
Can I join in the fun? My name is Karis and I was once a member...but I don't even remember what my screen name was!
Anywho, I am marrying my hunny May 17th and am trying to lose some weight before I have to buy a dress this spring!
We are doing things a little differently in that we are having a destination wedding with immediate family and then a reception for all our family and friends when we get back.

Lafayette
11-12-2007, 10:35 AM
Hi Karis!

The married away and return reception idea sounds awesome! How much weight are you looking to lose?

What kind of dress are you getting?

atxgirl
11-12-2007, 10:45 AM
Lafayette, thanks for the welcome!

I am going to try and lose 30 pounds- I think I managed to make a ticker :)

I am getting a real beachy dress for the ceremony that will be in Hawaii, we are planning on bare feet and pretty laid back. I may just get a white sun dress from J Crew or something like that.

I'm getting something different for the reception- I will try to find a pic to post!

atxgirl
11-12-2007, 10:53 AM
I guess I will have to do it some other time because I don't have 10 posts yet!

Lafayette
11-12-2007, 02:31 PM
I still haven't figured out how to post pictures... I was just thinking the other day that I would post before and after photos if it weren't for the awful before photos seeing the light of day in that scenario!

shananigans
11-12-2007, 04:52 PM
Just wanted to pop in and say "hi" to the newcomers Karis and Shannon (I'm a Shannon too :))

Shannon - You have so much done, I am put to shame! I really love your e bands, so pretty!

Karis - A destination wedding sounds so fun! The sales lady said the dress I picked out (pix here (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1871976&postcount=455)) is very popular for traveling brides, our wedding is in the city we live in but the ceremony is outdoors in a garden so a little informal.

Lafayette - Sorry about your aunt and her spawn :( Hopefully it doesn't ruin your party!

atxgirl
11-13-2007, 02:28 AM
Shananigans, thanks for the welcome and I love your dress! how pretty! I will try to hang around more so I can post pictures soon of what I want :)

I just noticed how similar our "boats" are! I am getting married May 17th and have almost the exact same weight goals! Cool.

Lafayette
11-13-2007, 02:25 PM
I'm trying to get to 145 by Thanksgiving... my original goal was 140 but I'll settle for what's realistic and hope for the best! These last pounds are taking an awful lot of effort to drop! At 135, I order my wedding dress! Wish me luck!

How's everyone else faring?

mandalinn82
11-13-2007, 02:33 PM
Just wanted to say hi to all of you - I miss you now that I don't have wedding updates to report!

:wave: hope you all are managing your stress as well as you can!

NoVaVTFan
11-13-2007, 02:49 PM
Hi all - I saw this forum and just wanted to jump in and say a big resounding "HELLO!" I just got engaged on October 21 and haven't really started yet on any wedding plans. I've been thinking about it a lot, have looked at different places for the ceremony, looked at dresses online, talked to my parents about it, but haven't settled on anything yet. I think we have settled on a venue (a winery out here in Virginia) and we are hopefully going to look at it this weekend and make a decision. I plan on going to look at wedding dresses in person some weekend soon, but probably won't seriously look until next spring. I will probably get something simple, but that looks right for a fall wedding (we are set on a weekend next October because I love Virginia falls so much.)

I weigh 147 right now, and would like to be down to 130 for the wedding. I have about 11 months to do it, and I think I can do it. I've lost 40 pounds in 7 months so I think with enough will power I can get down another 17 in 11 months. I would really love to look more toned for the wedding (especially my arms, they need a lot of work) but I am still happy that I will be smaller for my wedding than when I was at 187 in April.

I really have no idea about how to plan a wedding because I've never thought about it and was totally surpised by the engagement, so if any of you have any advice as to where to start with this whole process, I would surely welcome it!

atxgirl
11-13-2007, 11:14 PM
NoVaVTFan, well I am now here myself but welcome!
AND CONGRATS!!!
A few words of advice on planning a wedding: Remember it is about the two of you, don't let your Mom, future mother in law or any other well intentioned person run the show.
Don't settle- you don't have to, it may take time and effort to find exactly what you want but you will.
I was married once before briefly in my early 20's and my mom ran the show. I had the "perfect" wedding in the historic home, beautiful flowers and elaborate linens and cake and gourmet seated dinner...and it was beautiful, but not "me", KWIM?
Now that I am marrying the man I should have waited for we are getting married on the beach in Maui with our immediate family and when we get back to Texas we are having a huge reception at a bbq restaurant in their banquet hall, twinkle lights and all with kegs of beer and all our friends and family.
I could not be happier we are doing it this way!
We have a great DJ, a laid back young photographer, we are getting invitations from a local shop and the girls there are so nice and genuinely helpful, the cakes are nothing "amazing" but really yummy! and the flowers are going to be Texas wildflowers and antique roses.

I think once you have a venue things will begin to fall into place. You can log into the Knot to see if they have vendors listed. I found my florist and photographer on there, I just looked at web sites until I saw what I thought would work for us.

I hope some of this makes sense and/or helps!
Good luck!

Karis

scgirlie
11-14-2007, 12:32 AM
Here's the most important thing to remember while you're getting married...(use it like a mantra)...At The End of This Day, I will be My Beloved's, and My Beloved will be Mine".
I swear, it will not matter if the florist delivers old dead weeds, it will not matter if nobody comes to the ceremony, it will not matter if there's nothing but stale crackers to eat; all of that stuff will not matter. Because at the End of the Day, I will be Married to my Beloved Forever.
And that's when your life together really starts.

atxgirl
11-14-2007, 12:15 PM
SCgirlie you are so right! that really is the bottom line :)

junebug41
11-14-2007, 06:26 PM
Hello ladies! Welcome to all the newbies!

Karis- I agree, the knot is a FABULOUS source for vendors. Their boards can be great for that, too.

Shananigans- I still cannot get over how beautiful that dress is- and that back!

NoVaVT- Congrats on your engagement AND your weightloss! I'm sure you will hit your goal with no problem.

Lafayette- Good luck!

Well, things are FINALLY looking up in the wedding dept. Despite the fact that this has only brought out how CRAZY everyone we know happens to be (I dunno, maybe we're the nutty ones :shrug:), I am doing much better. I've started a workout regime and that's helped immensely. Also, my MOH's (I have two- they're sisters and I have known them forever and can't pick just one) are in town, one right after the other from Boston and Chicago so help has arrived! I burst into tears the second I saw MOH #1 yesterday and I just felt so relieved. I also just returned from Barnes and Noble with:

-The Bride's Book Of Lists (I'm pretty aware of most of it, but it looked like a really great organizational tool)
-Altared, which is a collection of essays from brides and looked really sweet
-The Conscious Bride (I'm totally not a self-help kind of girl, but if there was ever a time for self-help...)
-The China Study (OK, not wedding related but I thought of Shananigan's reccommendation when I picked it out;))
And my favorite:
-10 Neat Things About Being a Flower Girl... a precious beginner level book for flower girls that I hope to get sent of here soon. Too cute.

Lafayette
11-14-2007, 10:45 PM
NoVaVT- we started with our guest list, which prompted a conversation about how big the wedding would be and what people would enjoy. We just took it from there.

Knowing our guests, we booked a very easy-going photographer, picked an elegant venue that will handle just about everything, including a separate space for the kids (who originally weren't invited but you pick your battles). We hired a florist who was willing to work with our budget. We skipped cake in favor of a dessert from the venue and now, we're in the process of booking a very laid-back trio who love to play (and it shows) and welcome requests. Honestly, booking the hotel block was the easiest part of the whole ordeal and registering for gifts has been a rather bizarre and entertaining inventory of all the junk we've accumulated over the years (I'm 32, he's 35). The bridesmaids' dresses were easy. The tuxedos took less than 15 minutes to pick out. I'm getting the world's simplest wedding dress. We still have to book a limo, make arrangements for the departure brunch the following day, finalize the Church ceremony and finalize the spa arrangements for myself, the moms and the bridesmaids on the day of.

You can make yourself crazy (and I have) obsessing over favors (we decided against in favor of an open bar), contemplating colors, learning the Victorian language of flowers... remember, if you look at something and it will not change whether you are married at the end of the day, it's optional! SCgirlie got is right!!!

Junebug- good to see you back!

Mandalinn- your wedding pictures have reminded me that this is all worth it more than once. Thanks for the motivation! Good to have you drop by!

Shan- what's left?

That lists book is starting to make me wonder...

NoVaVTFan
11-15-2007, 06:50 AM
Thank you to all for your comments and suggestions!

Our guest list is going to be one of the problems with our wedding. I wanted to have no more than 30 people invited to the wedding, but that number doesn't look possible. My family (including extended) is very small. My father has one sister and one brother, and they have kids so I have a few cousins. My mother only has one suriving cousin. I personally only want to invite my mom's cousin, and my dad's sister (my aunt) and her daughter and husband (my cousin). I like the other members of my family, but I don't know them very well and really just want people at the wedding who I know very well. My father is paying for the wedding, and he would like me to invite my entire family because it is a small family and he doesn't want anyone to be insulted. I'm fine with that - I like the rest of the family, just don't know them very well, and I am trying to keep cost down as much as possible by inviting as few people as possible. But, since my dad is paying for it, and he really wants it, I'll probably be inviting our entire family, and then a few of my closest friends.

Now, my fiance comes from a HUGE family. His mother and father both came from families with 6-8 children each, so he has a bazillion aunts and uncles and cousins. He doesn't like most of his family, so he won't invite most of them. The problem is that he does like a few aunts and uncles enough to invite them, and he feels that if he invites a few of his aunts/uncles, he has to invite all of them so he won't insult anyone. I told him this was not going to make me very happy - I absolutely do not want anyone at our wedding that he doesn't at least like and want there. I want my wedding to only be filled with people who we both like enough to want to spend that special day with - I don't want my wedding to be a big circus with a bunch of guests that we feel obligated to invite. I remember my cousin got married when I was younger and she had 250 guests - most friends of her parents that she hardly knew. I don't want anything like that, plus I want to keep the cost down and I've learned from others that the way to do that is by keeping the guest count down.

So, that is my biggest dilemma so far. I believe I will end up inviting my entire family (some may not want to travel tho, so no big deal I suppose) and my fiance and I have comprised that he will invite a few of his aunts and uncles that he does like and want around. It will be more people than I wanted, probably around 50, but I guess that is an alright compromise. My father of course tells me not to worry about cost since he is paying for it, but I refuse to have a big blowout wedding just because I can - it was never what I wanted, I have always wanted something very small and personal, and I won't have something huge just because he says he will pay for it. I want to keep the cost down for him.

The one thing I will not budge on for the wedding - NO CHILDREN! Not many people who will be invited have children but a few do, and there children will not be welcome at my wedding. If they can't find a sitter, they cannot bring the kids to the wedding. I am not a big fan of kids, especially screaming crying ones, and I will not have them at my wedding. If the guests don't like it, oh well.

Sorry for the rant. I have so much to think about and it's a little overwhelming, but exciting at the same time. We are going to check out our potential venue on Saturday and i'm getting excited!

Lafayette
11-15-2007, 08:12 AM
Ah... that wasn't much of a rant! I wanted a very intimate and relaxed wedding with no kids. I had my heart set on Ireland for a destination wedding. There will be compromises and battles that just aren't worth fighting.

...I have parents' friends that neither of us have ever met, children people have demanded they will bring, work colleagues and clients I have never met... it's safe to say I don't know 15-20% of the people on the guest list. At the end of the day, I'll be married, peace will be kept in the family (or at least it won't be my fault) and we'll never have to do this again. ;)

It will all come together!

shananigans
11-15-2007, 05:01 PM
I agree about picking your battles. I am only inviting family and friends that I see regularly and want at my wedding, my parents are fine and have expressed no interest in dictating a guest list. My future in-laws however have sent lists of people my fiance has never met or barely knows, but they are paying for the bulk of the expenses so I've decided to smile and nod and send out the invites, our wedding will be an opportunity to make new friends with extended family ;) I met quite a few of these mystery folks at the engagement party they threw for us last month and they all seemed like nice people that were genuinely happy for us, so it could be worse.

junebug41 - Good to see you around these parts! Thanks :) I really do love the dress. Enjoy the China Study. Be prepared to never think about diet and nutrition the same way again. :)

DF picked out his tux, we decided on a restaurant for the rehearsal dinner. What's left to do? Oh, plenty :o

We made a couple initial contacts with potential officiants, so we'll be interviewing them soon. I have to get a chuppah patter to my mom so she can start sewing. Send deposit to the florist. Consider ditching flaky DJ and look for someone more reliable but likely more expensive. Meet with potential ceremony musicians (they are free on our date, so that's looking good so far). Get my bridesmaids to order their dresses by January. Get contract with rental company for chairs and tent (we've agreed on a vendor with the couple we're sharing the site and the cost with).

And a million other details (programs, ceremony details, catering, cake). In the car the other day DF said he'd forgotten to bug me about taking his name for a long time. I told him if he concedes to a veggie rehearsal dinner and reception (the previous compromise was veg rehearsal dinner only) then we can talk. :devil:

Lafayette
11-16-2007, 10:55 AM
Interesting topic- who's changing their name? I'm changing my name 100%; no hyphen, no maiden name as middle name, no "stage name." Then again, my maiden name is 11 letters and his last name is 7. Forget feminism vs. tradition, simplicity made the decison for me ;)

Irishowl
11-16-2007, 11:16 AM
This will be done before our ceremony but I'm taking my partner's last name. This has always been the plan for us because it means so much to her. Also, we plan on giving our children her last name so I want all of us to have the same last name. I don't plan on using my maiden name as my middle name.
Next year in CA they are going to start allowing people who register as domestic partners to change their last names when they register instead of going through the court system. I'm wondering if this will be retroactive for couples who are already domestic partners? We've been "offical" since Sept 2005.

Shannon


Interesting topic- who's changing their name? I'm changing my name 100%; no hyphen, no maiden name as middle name, no "stage name." Then again, my maiden name is 11 letters and his last name is 7. Forget feminism vs. tradition, simplicity made the decison for me ;)

junebug41
11-16-2007, 11:22 AM
Interesting topic- who's changing their name? I'm changing my name 100%; no hyphen, no maiden name as middle name, no "stage name." Then again, my maiden name is 11 letters and his last name is 7. Forget feminism vs. tradition, simplicity made the decison for me ;)

I just finished the Conscious Bride and it tackled this issue. She talked about how it wasn't so long ago when women typically married before the age of 20 and had yet to establish their own identity and how now it's a tough issue for a lot of women because of marriage occuring later. Now, I'm only 25, but I've lived on my own and have established myself in my community and the music industry with my last name- not to mention I've always held tremendous pride about my last name- it's somewhat unusual and my family is very small and dwindling. DF's last name is ridiculously common. In fact, when I look at bridal mags, the examples they use for invitations and what-not is, in fact, what would be by new name! Needless to say, I'm stuggling with it. I'm reading about how to come to terms with it and may opt to keep it professionally, but I'm starting to understand the importance of the seperation of it and the sense of loss that comes with it, too.

Sorry, I just read a self help book. Probably not the "yes or no" you were looking for.:dizzy:

EDIT- I guess in short, I just really like my last name :lol: That's the issue with most women I know who hesitate to take their husband's last name. They just like their's better ;)

junebug41
11-16-2007, 11:23 AM
This will be done before our ceremony but I'm taking my partner's last name. This has always been the plan for us because it means so much to her. Also, we plan on giving our children her last name so I want all of us to have the same last name. I don't plan on using my maiden name as my middle name.
Next year in CA they are going to start allowing people who register as domestic partners to change their last names when they register instead of going through the court system. I'm wondering if this will be retroactive for couples who are already domestic partners? We've been "offical" since Sept 2005.

Shannon

That's another big one. I would certainly want my family to have the same last name. My parents divorced when I was 3 and my mom still carries her married name. It really made things so much easier as a single mom.

NoVaVTFan
11-16-2007, 12:06 PM
I am definitely changing my last name when I get married. My last name is very hard to pronouce, and my fiance's last name is easy to pronounce. I have been longing for an easy last name, and I will get my wish next year. I don't feel that I'll be losing any of my identity because my name doesn't really shape who I am. I'll be happy to have a common name that more people can pronouce and hopefully won't butcher on a daily basis.

Lafayette
11-17-2007, 09:24 AM
I swore up and down that I was going to marry the first guy with the last name "Adams" after a lifetime of being at the bottom of the alpha order with 11 letters. That didn't work out but I did try to convince my fiance that we should both change our names! That didn't work either...

Shannon- I agree, the name change through the court thing is stupid. I hope the change is retroactive for you. As with so many things wedding, I swear it's just another way to get at your checkbook! And your time!

atxgirl
11-17-2007, 02:14 PM
I am taking SO's last name mostly for the having kids and wanting the same last name reason.
When I was married in my early 20's I took his last name but I have more connections in my field and would keep my name for that reason but family is my priority.
My mother re-married when I was really young so I dont remember ever having the same last name and it was a headache when filling out forms and such.
I want my family to all have the same last name- and it means a lot to SO :)

NoVaVTFan
11-17-2007, 03:50 PM
Good afternoon all. So, my fiance and I went to check out our potential wedding site today. We want to get married at a winery in Virginia, about an hour from Washington and where we live in Northern Virginia. I have never been to the winery before, but he has been there for a wine tasting before and said it was really nice. I checked out their website and it looked nice, plus they have affordable wedding packages. Their website said you should make an appointment to talk to someone there about weddings, but they said that's only available on weekdays. I can't go on a weekday because of work, so I called to ask about coming on a weekend and was told they take "walk-ins" on Saturdays between 11-2. So, we went out there - I was intending to book the place and talk to someone about catering, flowers, that sort of thing. We got there, was showed around outside by someone, and was told that the lady we need to talk to should be getting there soon. So we waited around for about 30 minutes, and they told us she was on her way, blah blah blah. After waiting another 15 minutes, I told them I didn't want to wait any longer and wanted to fill out a contract without that lady. I hate waiting and waiting and waiting. They gave me some contract to fill out, but didn't even tell me what to write down and it was a bit confusing. Eventually the girl who had been helping us said I should just put my name and phone number and the lady would call me later. I was a little worried because when I called earlier that week they said you have to put a %50 deposit down to book a day, but she said that we didn't need to do that, and as long as we wrote the date we wanted on the paper I wrote my name and number then we shouldn't worry about losing that date. So, I left without putting a deposit down or really talking to anyone seriously about it.

I have to say I'm pretty pissed about it. We drove an hour out there and we didn't even get to really speak to anyone about details. My fiance said I need to not get so upset because we have a year to get all of the details set, but I don't care if we have 2 years - I wanted to leave with the security of knowing that we paid for that date and no one could take it away from me. I was told the lady would contact me in a few days (which probably means after Thanksgiving) and she would send me details and blah blah blah. I guess I can't do much more except wait, and give them a call after Thanksgiving if I haven't heard from them after the holiday. I probably shouldn't get upset but I was so hoping to get my date reserved, and even though the girl told me there should be no reason that I can't have the date I chose, I still don't feel great about it.

I hope the next year of planning isn't going to go as crappy as today went.

I had a question to ask: when do you send invitations out? We are getting married next October, so when do I send the invitations? I don't know much about wedding practices.

junebug41
11-17-2007, 07:19 PM
Good afternoon all. So, my fiance and I went to check out our potential wedding site today. We want to get married at a winery in Virginia, about an hour from Washington and where we live in Northern Virginia. I have never been to the winery before, but he has been there for a wine tasting before and said it was really nice. I checked out their website and it looked nice, plus they have affordable wedding packages. Their website said you should make an appointment to talk to someone there about weddings, but they said that's only available on weekdays. I can't go on a weekday because of work, so I called to ask about coming on a weekend and was told they take "walk-ins" on Saturdays between 11-2. So, we went out there - I was intending to book the place and talk to someone about catering, flowers, that sort of thing. We got there, was showed around outside by someone, and was told that the lady we need to talk to should be getting there soon. So we waited around for about 30 minutes, and they told us she was on her way, blah blah blah. After waiting another 15 minutes, I told them I didn't want to wait any longer and wanted to fill out a contract without that lady. I hate waiting and waiting and waiting. They gave me some contract to fill out, but didn't even tell me what to write down and it was a bit confusing. Eventually the girl who had been helping us said I should just put my name and phone number and the lady would call me later. I was a little worried because when I called earlier that week they said you have to put a %50 deposit down to book a day, but she said that we didn't need to do that, and as long as we wrote the date we wanted on the paper I wrote my name and number then we shouldn't worry about losing that date. So, I left without putting a deposit down or really talking to anyone seriously about it.

I have to say I'm pretty pissed about it. We drove an hour out there and we didn't even get to really speak to anyone about details. My fiance said I need to not get so upset because we have a year to get all of the details set, but I don't care if we have 2 years - I wanted to leave with the security of knowing that we paid for that date and no one could take it away from me. I was told the lady would contact me in a few days (which probably means after Thanksgiving) and she would send me details and blah blah blah. I guess I can't do much more except wait, and give them a call after Thanksgiving if I haven't heard from them after the holiday. I probably shouldn't get upset but I was so hoping to get my date reserved, and even though the girl told me there should be no reason that I can't have the date I chose, I still don't feel great about it.

I hope the next year of planning isn't going to go as crappy as today went.

I had a question to ask: when do you send invitations out? We are getting married next October, so when do I send the invitations? I don't know much about wedding practices.

I'm sorry that they were such a disappointment! Wow, that's pretty bad... We had already put down our deposit when we met with the coordinator (the hotel where we are getting married is in my hometown and I'm extremely familiar with it)... well, she asked us for our deposit at the end of the meeting and then realized that she just had no idea who we were! So much for the personal experience, huh?

Just make sure you keep really good records- save every email and correspondence. It will get better and you will hit your stride!

As far as invites go- they say 2 months before the wedding, I think. We are slated for next August and because it's in a resort town and everyone is out of town, we are doing save-the-dates and encouraging making hotel reservations just after New Year's. We will get the invites out on the regular schedule, though.

Well, in my big slump last month I found a Maggie Sottero dress that I thought I liked enough to be the one... well, today I went out with reinforcements and I found the REAL one. I put down the deposit and everything! It's was slightly out of the price range, but I couldn't see getting another dress. Here it is:
http://www.t-mobilepictures.com/photos/photo21/5b/9c/e068da8c4818.jpg?_rh=52g4pd9ge8991ndpvhpypovkz

atxgirl
11-17-2007, 07:23 PM
wow that would be so frustrating! I'm sorry that was your experience and hope it gets better!
I too have gotten the run-around from our reception site, they keep telling me I am on their calendar and not to worry. Like you said- I just want to know that where we have told everyone it will be and where I have planned everything around will in fact be ours for that day!
I'm glad your FI is calm and reassuring about it and I hope they get back to you and everything works out perfectly :)

atxgirl
11-17-2007, 07:26 PM
Junebug your dress is gorgeous!!!
OMG! you are going to be such a beautiful bride!

NoVaVTFan
11-17-2007, 08:20 PM
thanks for the reassurance and support everyone - i still am in a bit of shock that i have to plan a wedding - I really didn't expect to be engaged at least for another 6 months, and this was so out of the blue that I am still a little overwhelmed at the planning since I never really thought about it before. It is AWESOME to have 3FC to come to and chat and get advice - I don't have any friends that are married, so i can use all of the advice in the world about getting things planned for the big day. I think I just need to keep my cool about everything because I don't want to become a pyscho bride like you see on TV.

Junebug - that dress is BEAUTIFUL and you look AMAZING in it!!! I absolutely love it! I'm so glad you were able to find something you love. I haven't started trying on dresses yet, but I have been looking online, and I am excited to start trying on some soon. You look so slim!!!

junebug41
11-17-2007, 08:38 PM
thanks for the reassurance and support everyone - i still am in a bit of shock that i have to plan a wedding - I really didn't expect to be engaged at least for another 6 months, and this was so out of the blue that I am still a little overwhelmed at the planning since I never really thought about it before. It is AWESOME to have 3FC to come to and chat and get advice - I don't have any friends that are married, so i can use all of the advice in the world about getting things planned for the big day. I think I just need to keep my cool about everything because I don't want to become a pyscho bride like you see on TV.

Junebug - that dress is BEAUTIFUL and you look AMAZING in it!!! I absolutely love it! I'm so glad you were able to find something you love. I haven't started trying on dresses yet, but I have been looking online, and I am excited to start trying on some soon. You look so slim!!!


Thanks, girls! You make me :o

I'm in the same boat- no one I know seems to know about planning weddings. Between worrying about being taken for a ride by vendors, everyone around me losing their minds, dress shopping being a nightmare (till today!), I was definitely NOT enjoying the experience. I bought a bunch of wedding themed books the other day, one of which was The Conscious Bride. While some of the text is sort of skim-right-over-cheesey, a lot of it I felt was written directly to me! It tackled the almost overwhelming sense of lonliness I felt at the beginning along with the crazies that come out of the woodwork and gave me a lot to contemplate. It was just nice to read a comforting word, you know :)

Irishowl
11-18-2007, 01:09 PM
Is anyone planning on doing a basket of goodies for the out of towners? Our wedding is about 5 hours from here, so everyone is an out of towner. I was thinking a basket with:

Bottled water
Snacks
Pamphlets to things in the area:
~Mendocino Botanical Gardens
~Point Cabrillo Light House
~Skunk Train
~Pacific Star Winery
Bottle of local wine, 2 inexpensive wine glasses, cork screw


Anyone else doing something similar?

Shannon

Lafayette
11-21-2007, 09:28 AM
I hear you about not knowing what to do. We made a list early on of what we thought we needed to address (there are millions of lists online to refer to) and just started clipping away. I have been told (and discovered it is true) that one thing will work and everything will just come together. For me it was the bridesmaids' dresses. Once that color and look was set, everything else just seemed to flow.

We have had our disagreements over wedding stuff but we have been very conscious of the fact that this is a stressful time with pressure coming from many different directions. The biggest disagreement came over expectations- my fiance's family expected a very lavish affair and my family expected a very budget-consious event that more resembled a family reunion.

I have been contemplating guest baskets, too. I think I may skip them in favor of a nice itinerary for the weekend along with a handwritten thank you note from us. We are doing a departure brunch Sunday morning and I decided to focus my money on opening that up to as many people as would like to attend, including in-town guests. I know our families will get along well so I'm sure the "locals" will want to keep the party going!

This Turkey Day, I expect some pressure to include fringe family members. Here's my response: The wedding should not be all about the couple but rather of reflection of the couple. We are achieving that through our guest list by inviting the people who have played a significant role in our lives, whether family or friends. For these people, we will do just about anything- provide child care, special meals, etc.- with all the accompanying expenses to make sure they can be there with us. In all of this, we have to keep in mind limited space and an actual budget.

Oh, I have to share my Christmas gift list (sorry this is already a super long post). I'm getting my parents and siblings gift certificates for the hotel where we have booked the room block since they will have to travel to our wedding.

Irishowl
11-21-2007, 10:24 AM
Great Christmas gift idea!

I do like your response. This is your wedding but it seems you are being very sensitive towards your guests needs. We are doing baskets mainly because we don't want to be responsible for entertaining everyone all weekend long. This is our honeymoon as well as our wedding and we want some time alone. My guess is most of our guests will only be staying 1 or 2 nights. The only people I imagine staying longer are my sisters coming from back east. So we will spend some time with them but they will rent a car and explore together.

We also are taking great care to only invite people who are truly happy for us and supportive of our relationship. Which means I am not inviting my Mom. Once I commited to that decision I felt so much relief. Sadly, so did my sisters. They didn't want to deal with her drama anymore than I did. Also, we are both a tad older (31 and 41) and we don't have any family expectations of our wedding. Everyone just seems excited to see what we do and enjoy our day.


Shannon

Lafayette
11-21-2007, 01:03 PM
Shannon- I'm so glad you have your family's support!

For the most part, I do, too. Unfortunately, my aunts and mom have always tried to pull together their family and make peace and it always results in some drama- it's just not something I want at our wedding. I prefer to focus on the positive and let the negative eat somewhere else on their own dime ;)

Lafayette
11-28-2007, 05:33 PM
I survived Thanksgiving! It was a very subtle lesson in passive-aggressive behavior. The issue of including fringe family never came up but was told point-blank I will not be having a bridal shower. Yippee! A $10 or even $50 toaster is hardly an even trade for kicking people I know and like off my guest list to provide a meal and open bar for uncles who, in their own words, "don't know which one I am" and who, after all the fuss, won't show up anyway. I'm free!

The wedding planning is almost done! How are you guys doing?

junebug41
11-28-2007, 06:50 PM
I survived Thanksgiving! It was a very subtle lesson in passive-aggressive behavior. The issue of including fringe family never came up but was told point-blank I will not be having a bridal shower. Yippee! A $10 or even $50 toaster is hardly an even trade for kicking people I know and like off my guest list to provide a meal and open bar for uncles who, in their own words, "don't know which one I am" and who, after all the fuss, won't show up anyway. I'm free!

The wedding planning is almost done! How are you guys doing?

:lol: Good for you! I'm lucky that both of us come from small families, but I still run into that. For example, a friend of a friend, who I don't even particularly like was at my house the other night. I see her maybe once every 3 years by default and she actually said, "so. jen. Just tell me, am I invited to your wedding? I'm invited, right?"

Excuse me?

I've gotten this a few times from people I never thought to add to the guest list. What on earth do you say???

I meet with the florist on sunday morning. The other MOH is in town, so it will be nice to have her along. Did you guys take your DF's to those type of meetings? I think he wants to be a part of it, but I also think it will bore him to tears. Also, any advice for those of you that have met with florists? They are from my hometown but are in denver for the weekend and I'm worried that will make me feel like I HAVE to sign the contract that day.

Lafayette
11-29-2007, 12:22 PM
Don't be pressured! I met with my florist twice before signing anything. I got not only prices but also a feel for whether the designer was willing to work within my budget.

The first meeting focused on what I could get for what I was willing to spend.

The second meeting is where we really laid out number of bouquets, centerpieces, etc. My florist is willing to make changes up to two weeks before the wedding so I can change flowers if the weather causes a price increase, etc.

I brought my fiance to both meetings because he short-circuited when I told him what flowers would cost. I figured it was a good idea to let him ask questions directly instead of driving me crazy with questions like, "Do you really need a bouquet?" He's still not happy with the price but at least he understands how it got there...

Good luck! Interview at least one other florist in the area... knowledge is power ;)

shananigans
11-30-2007, 10:27 AM
Just wanted to pop in and say "hi" to everyone!

Meeting with my florist and picking flowers has been my favorite part so far. They are so knowledgeable and easy to work with and affordable! And they listen! And they didn't look at me like I was crazy when I used words like "local" "organic" and "sustainable agriculture" like all the other florists I talked to at the Wedding Expo. :dizzy:

DJ is still MIA :?:

Still need to settle on an officiant. DF is starting to balk at the idea of getting a total stranger, I'd also like to get someone we know (even if we get them "ordained" through the internet) but I really can't think of anyone we know who wouldn't be otherwise involved in the wedding party. It's a tough one. I'm ok with getting someone we don't personally know as long as we interview and select him/her carefully, but I think DF is not so sure what he wants in that department.

We RSVP'ed to go to catering tasting at our reception venue. I requested a couple of their veg entrees and apps to try, they sound pretty awesome. :)

I also found out something interesting when I went home for Thanksgiving, my family had actually presumed that we'd be having a vegetarian event! DF's primary argument for having meat at the reception is that most of our guests, including my family, will expect meat to be served. I was thinking he was probably right about that, but I guess my family has finally accepted and maybe even respects my vegetarianism (and it only took 14 years!). I plan to bring this up, might wear down his resistance ;)

Lafayette
12-02-2007, 06:15 AM
Family can surprise you... I'm so glad yours was a pleasant surprise! A vegetarian dinner isn't as big a deal as it might have been even a few years ago. You'll get a chance to share your food and lifestyle with your guests and maybe even subtly encourage them to respect your eating choices just as you respect theirs.

As for what to say to people who ask if they are invited, I play the sheepish card (highly underrated and often forgotten) and quickly explain that the usual venue size restrictions and budget limitations apply THEN I admit the guest list has slipped from my control with the pressure to invite all the guests "suggested" my mom and future mother-in-law. Whenever possible, blame the wedding machine!

junebug41
12-09-2007, 12:47 PM
Where are all the brides?!?!

It snowed ALL DAY yesterday and I had run myself into the ground trying to finish my senior paper (28 pages :eek:), which I turned in at midnight on Thursday... So I baricaded myself in the apartment while DF went in to the office yesterday, cooked a pot of veggie soup and watched the Style channel, which had wedding programming on all day! It was absolutely sinful. They had a bunch of Top Tens and Wild Weddings and I just sat back thinking, "none of that will happen at my wedding!" ;) I'm thinking some drunk bridesmaids will be my curse... I picked them specifically, not only because I love them all like sisters, but because they are FUN and will make sure my day is fun, but it might not work in my favor, you know?

So, what do you think will be your wedding day curse? There's always stuff that happens- a drunk uncle, bickering family, bridezillas, horrid weather... have you guys thought about what you have just accepted might go wrong? I've always expected the weather to turn bad and I'm ok with that. It's just what happens in the Rocky Mountains at 4 p.m. every day during the summer (which, ironically, is the only time the venue allows ceremonies in the garden....)

We also met with the florist. They are a fun and energetic younger couple and we clicked immediately. It was funny to watch DF try pretend like he knew what peonies were. I left the meeting with a more clear picture of everything and I feel like it's really coming together.

What's new with you guys?

Lafayette
12-09-2007, 01:46 PM
Just trying to catch all my bridesmaids and get all the dresses ordered. I set Dec. 3 as the deadline to get everything in and have two who are MIA. Good grief!

I also found a deal on real pearl necklaces and earrings for gifts to all the bridesmaids. I have a friend in China who was able to get me everything for less than $35/person. YAY!!!

NoVaVTFan
12-10-2007, 07:01 AM
Hi everyone. I must say that I am getting completely stalled and frustrated on my wedding planning. We decided on an October 12, 2008 date, and I thought we had the site all picked out, but that has gone astray. We were going to sign a reservation agreement with a winery and get on with the planning, but that has not yet happened. When I got the wedding agreement and read through it, I felt a little uneasy about some parts, so I called the winery several times to ask questions - every time I spoke with someone they gave me the answers I wanted to hear and made me feel a little bit better BUT at the same time, I was still uneasy about some things like their catering and florist choices - basically, when you sign a contract with them, you have to use their caterers, florists, etc, which I liked at first because I thought hey, I can get everything done through one company, but their contract was a little sketchy with no prices, and their website completely contradicted their agreement, even though the people I spoke to told me the complete opposite. I think the last straw for me was that I sent the contact to my father to look over, and he didn't like how vague it was, plus there were typos in the agreement and he didn't think that was very professional. I take my father's opinion very highly, and since he is paying for this wedding, I am holding his opinion even higher. Basically, my fiance and I didn't really look around for wedding sites because he knew of this winery from before we got engaged, and when we went I liked it enough to settle on it. But we decided last night that we are going to hold off on this winery for awhile and really look around because I am just feeling too uneasy about it. We found some places online that I am going to try and get info on today or tomorrow. I really was anxious to get a place reserved to make sure I get the October 12 date, but I would rather wait and really look then sign a contract with some place that I don't feel great about.

Other than that, I haven't started any other planning yet. I have been thinking about dresses but haven't tried anything on yet. This time of year is really busy so I'm going to start concentrating on planning once the new year rolls around.

Hope everyone has a great Monday!

Lafayette
12-11-2007, 04:26 PM
I think you made a wise choice! We thought about having our reception at a brewery (the Milwaukee equivalent to a winery) but the site coordinator was a dingbat and the contract was simply bizarre. We found a great place for a great price and I've never looked back. I'm sure you will, too!

I applaud your choice to wait until after the new year... just a warning/tip from someone who got engaged last January... lots of couples get engaged over Christmas and start planning after the first of the year. You may want to have a few ideas in mind. All of the places I was considering (except the brewery) were willing to "hold" the date without any deposit and call me first if anyone else expressed interest in the date.

Lafayette
12-24-2007, 06:01 PM
Happy Holidays, brides to be!

Cheers to holidays divided between the two families for the rest of our lives ;)

BfL_Cat
12-29-2007, 07:08 PM
Hey gals -I lost you for a while - I didn't realize Shannon had started a new thread!

I wanted to share that my Shutterfly wedding photo book was a big hit as a gift for Mom, sister, brother and DH's brother - they all loved having a memento of the wedding in book form, as opposed to a photo album. I did the 8x8" book with photos on front and back cover. 20 pages for $30 - quite a deal if you ask me. They came out great! I highly recommend this for anyone who will have access to the digital files from their photos.

People are still complementing me on the wedding, which is a great feeling! I spent a lot of time paying attention to all of the small details and it's nice to know that it did not go unnoticed.
Cindy

atxgirl
12-31-2007, 01:43 AM
I wanted to stop in...I went a way for a little while. SO's mom took a turn for the worse (her cancer just KEEPS spreading). We are getting married January 12th now. We figured that out December 8th. After we got the venue we found out that the spring bridal expo here in Austin is that weekend! After having a minor meltdown I was able to find vendors in a neighboring small town. It should turn out pretty well considering how quickly we have had to move. My dress is beautiful, its maybe not what I would have chosen if I had months to get something shipped but its beautiful non the less.
The worst thing so far was that our invitation lady yelled at me and made me cry! It was so unexpected that I didn't even know what to say or do...I left a message asking for them to order 150 invites instead of 125 and the next morning (a Tuesday) she called to check in and I asked her if she added the invited to the order and she just went OFF about how they are closed on Monday blah blah...and I "knew that" and it said it on their web site...and was just YELLING in the phone to where SO across the room could hear what she was saying. I guess she was on the defensive because she had not order our invitations yet and was being paid a rush fee to do so. Anyways, we ditched that company and lost $350 doing so but I don't even care at this point. I am so stressed out trying to plan a wedding in just over a month from start to finish with the holidays in the middle that I will deal with her after I survive our wedding!
Wow. ok, so anywho, I don't recommend trying to do what we are but we just couldn't keep planning for May knowing his mom might not be with us still.

I hope everyone else's planning is going much more smoothly!

shananigans
12-31-2007, 03:11 PM
atxgirl - OMG! I can't imagine how stressful that all must be. But I'm sure your wedding will be all the more meaningful knowing that your SO's mom will be able to participate in your happy day.

We had our Auf Ruf (http://www.myjewishlearning.com/lifecycle/Marriage/LiturgyRitualCustom/Aufruf.htm) (follow the link if you have no idea what an Auf Ruf is, I sure didn't!) on Saturday down in FL. We aren't religious types, but his paternal grandfather was one of the founders of their Temple and it's been an important place for his family for three generations, so we went ahead with it since it means so much to them. Also, DF's Nanny is not well and won't be able to travel to the wedding so it was really nice to have her there for that.

Here's a couple of pix from our engagement session, they're just scans of the prints we got (our photographer doesn't give us access to the digital files :() but I thought they came out pretty well

http://bp3.blogger.com/_CqjgTdKIWnk/R3lE3CNobPI/AAAAAAAAAJ0/8QB-mPwIHLg/s400/scan2.jpg

http://bp3.blogger.com/_CqjgTdKIWnk/R3lEvCNobOI/AAAAAAAAAJs/zSSPkizDQs8/s400/scan1.jpg

We are going to start our hunt for an officiator in earnest in the new year, the clock is ticking! Also, we're on the hunt for a new DJ. :rolleyes: There's a wedding expo in town in a couple weeks, might hit that up in our search.

Cindy - That's so great that people are still complementing your wedding! It's always nice to get recognition for a job well done. :D

NoVaVTFan
01-05-2008, 02:23 PM
Hi everyone! Long time! So, I have to say that I am getting so much more excited about getting married now! It's been awhile since I've updated - the last time I was really frustrated because we were having trouble picking our wedding site. A lot has happened since then!

We picked our wedding site before Christmas - we picked a historic property in Northern Virginia - it is an old mill that was built in the 1800s. It of course isn't in use anymore as a mill but is used a lot for meetings and weddings. It's a stone building next to a nice stream with lots of land with trees and grass. It should be beautiful for an outside fall wedding in October. It is just right for our number of people, and it's only 15 minutes from our house which is great. I was so excited to sign the reservation agreement before Christmas to get at least one thing done.

I've also possibly picked out a photographer and cake maker. My cousin's sister in law is a professional photographer who works very very close to the wedding site, and who will be giving us a generous discount on photos. My mother also has a close friend who lives about 15 minutes from us who makes cakes. Things are slowly coming together.

And last, but not least . . . I BOUGHT MY WEDDING DRESS TODAY! I have been looking a lot online and have visited a couple of local stores but didn't try anything on. I made an appointment at a local bridal store today and went and tried some dresses on. I had absolutely no intentions of buying anything because it is still 10 months until the wedding and people told me shop around and I probably didn't need to buy anything until 4-5 months before the wedding, but I wanted to try some dresses on to get a feel for what I liked. I went in with some pictures of dresses from designers the store carried and talked to a consultant there for about 5 minutes to let her know what I liked and disliked, then we started pulling dresses to put on. I tried one dress on and LOVED IT! It was actually a little different from what I expected to like because it had some more beading on it and had a longer train than I thought I would like, but when I tried it on and got in front of the big mirror I LOVED IT! It has ribbon detail on it and I picked a deep red color for my dress, almost like wine red. I posted a couple of pictures of the dress at the end of the post. It was a little more than I planned to spend on my dress, but I couldn't resist I loved it so much. I tried on about 5 or 6 dresses but kept coming back to that dress. I am so excited!!!

junebug41
01-07-2008, 11:43 AM
Shananigans- Great pics! And the colors make it pop!

NoVa- That dress is just darling. I love those capped sleeves. So girly and timeless. Are you having that chocolate brown sash or another color? It's very dramatic (I like it!).

So, things are moving in the sense that they aren't. I'm kind of in that holding pattern. Haven't heard from the florist since our initial meeting (was planning on getting a quote early/mid this month), so I will have to touch base with them. We did actually figure out where the money is coming from, so that's a relief, to say the least! We also decided on a honeymoon. We are going to take it over Christmas/New Year's and we are heading to Australia/New Zealand/ Fiji! The plan is to spend most of it in Fiji (my dream vacation) and spend New Year's in Sydney or Auckland.

Also, I think we lost the best man. His wife is extremely emotionally unstable and with our last visit with them she REALLY pulled out the fangs (on me). The only thing we have figured is that she was the last one of "the group" to have a wedding and is struggling with that and some post partum issues as well, not to mention she's incredibly immature (almost childlike) and has terrible problems with women. So we're pretty sure she pulled him from the wedding (he is terrified of her and won't stand up- for anything). It's all really messy and awful. Also, one of my MOH's won't be there (I have two- they're sisters) due to the fact that she's in the Navy and will be somewhere in the Persian Gulf on a carrier. She feels awful, but there's nothing you can do so no use in making a fuss. I guess that's why I have two!

Also, I took my mom when she was here over Christmas to see my dress and she created nothing short of a scene. I know moms are supposed to be emotional over stuff, but she went a little overboard. She also decided that she would be more comfortable wearing a bridemaid's dress instead of a more matronly mother-of-the-bride dress. My mom, always a tart. Baby Boomers. Oy.

Are any of you ladies doing a "bikini boot camp" type thing? I know it's been mentioned before, but there's a club near my house that's offering one and I think I wanna do it. The wedding isn't until late summer, but it can't hurt. I need all the help I can get!

Lafayette
01-11-2008, 11:01 PM
Atx- I know this is a stressful time and my heart goes out to you. Some compromises are just worth it, aren't they?

Shan- awesome pics!

Jen- Bikini Boot camp scares me. I'm going for a Brazillian wax instead ;)

NoVa- great dress!

BfL- I've been wondering about the albums- great to hear a positive review!

Our wedding is March 29, 2008, so the insanity is only a few short months away... it's going very well, though. We got our first wedding gifts last week- holy cow! Where I am going to put all this stuff?

I also tried on the Ann Taylor Elizabeth dress over the holidays. I fit into a size 8 (with a little alteration needed to fit the DD's) and, even though I was hoping to fit a size 6, it's time to bite the bullet! The dress looks awesome and I highly recommend it for anyone needing a dress at the last minute. It looks really plain until you tie the sash and then whoa, baby!

I also did my first trial run of my hairstyle. Just a simple chignon that is perfect. I may or may not wear a veil. Still deciding if that violates my pretty, pretty princess rule :)

I'm starting to get very excited about our honeymoon in Paris for the first two weeks in April. We've been talking about hopping over to Amsterdam or London for a few days, too. Put me on the plane already!

The next few weeks will be a flurry of marriage prep with the Church, invitations, showers, bridal teas... oh yeah, and another bachelor party (that lucky dog). Wish me luck!

Lafayette
01-11-2008, 11:07 PM
Here's the dress!

http://www.anntaylor.com/catalog/outfit.jsp?ensembleId=2231&N=1200043&pCategoryId=193&categoryId=221&Ns=CATEGORY_SEQ_221&showAll=Y#ATLtop

NoVaVTFan
01-12-2008, 10:04 PM
Beautiful dress Lafayette!

Ok, so can anyone recommend a good general book on how to plan a wedding? I'm looking for something that will help me figure out the little things that are normally done for weddings (like favors, traditions, etc.) I am basically planning my wedding by myself (Mom doesn't really want to help in any way) and I have never really thought about it in my life so now that I have to actually plan it, I'm a little lost. So far I have: a date, ceremony/reception site booked, dress bought, photographer, and possibly a cake maker. My 3 big categories that are left are florist, caterer, and event rental. I know there's a bunch of other little things other than those 3 categories, but those are the 3 I'm thinking about at the moment. I know there has to be books out there on planning a wedding, so if any of you have read any, I would love suggestions. Someone at work suggested I hire a wedding planner, but I REFUSE to do that. It is definitely good for some people, but it is not for me because 1) I don't want to pay someone to plan my wedding for me, and 2)it's just not me. So, any suggestions from you lovely ladies would be much appreciated.

Thanks!

junebug41
01-12-2008, 10:16 PM
Lafyette- Classic and beautiful come to mind in describing that dress. :lol: at brazillian wax... There are very few moments in my life where I have the nerve to get one.... Fiji here I come... :eek:

NoVa- You sound A LOT like me. I was actually stricken with a profound sense of loneliness. My family is untraditional and I just kind of felt like a fraud until I got a grip (not that that's you, but I relate to the "feeling kinda lost" part). I bought magezines like it was my job. the ones I've been impressed with are InStyle Weddings and Martha Stewart because they aren't just dress advertisements like Brides, etc... Martha Stewart (love her or hate her) addresses styles and colors and decor specifically. As far as vendor advice- theknot.com has message boards that are broken down into cities/states and there are TONS of referrals from real brides in the area you are getting married, which I thought was cool. Also, you said that you have your site picked out. They will be providing a day-of coordinator, no? Since i'm getting married in my hometown- a place I haven't lived in almost 8 years- I felt a little out of touch and she was more than happy to throw vendor names at me at different price levels, including officients, florists, photographers, etc... I haven't used all she has recommended, but it was a good place to start.

Also, I've mentioned this before, but I don't have any wedding planning guide books, per say, but The Conscious Bride by Sheryl Paul was really helpful in my "getting a grip" on things.

Kinda funny though, a friend of mine said that she has all this extra stuff she didn't use for her wedding like cake cutters, toasting glasses... those things hadn't even crossed my mind! I have a lot to learn, it seems.

BfL_Cat
01-13-2008, 02:37 PM
NoVa - I vote for checking out theknot.com as well - there are tons of ideas from the girls on the message boards. I found the monthly one the most help - for my 9/29 wedding, I checked out the Sept. 2007 board. The gals are always talking about what needs to be done next, so it keeps you right on schedule.

Not sure if a book is going to tell you about the details you are lacking. I bought a great wedding planning binder from Wal-Mart (bridal aisle) which helped me to think of some details I hadn't thought of.

Here's some suggestions from me:

First, have you chosen a color scheme/theme? That will be key in coming up with the rest. Centerpieces are a big $$ item, yet don't have to be flowers - there are tons of ideas on the knot for less costly alternatives to flowers on the tables. Big jars filled with fruit, candles, cakes or pies, .... Your colors/time of year will also be key in determining you flower options for bouquets.

Once you know what colors/theme you are doing (you don't have to have a theme by the way - it can just make decorating easier if you are doing something seasonal), then here's what you'll need to think about (some are optional):

Cake design
Cake topper
Table centerpieces/decor
Cake table decor
Favors (suggestion - edible is best; many gals are now doing charitable donations instead of a favor)
Paper stuff - invitations and all, place cards, programs, menus,...
Reception details - bathroom baskets, photo CDs or upload cards, Wish jar and/or guest book, gift table card box.
Attendant gifts
Out of towner welcome bags
Ring pillows
toasting glasses
Cake knife/server set
Music - for both the ceremony and reception

That's all I can think of off the top of my head - funny how it was all so encompassing at the time, and now I have already forgotten some things!
Cindy

Lafayette
01-13-2008, 09:33 PM
NoVa- my mom was really difficult from the outset and I found a way to make planning my wedding fun by coming to 3fc and engaging my friends at home, too. I tried on my wedding dress with my fiance and two friends and wouldn't have traded the awkward laughs for the world!

I haven't found a book I would recommend but any major bookstore will have tons. I honestly took notes from friends weddings and made my plans by envisioning the day with my fiance.

Good luck! It sounds like you're making good progress, even without a roadmap!

Lafayette
01-13-2008, 09:58 PM
I've found that a traditional wedding, hokey as it may sound, is the easiest way to go.  Using that as our general plan and deviating where we prefered something else has served us well.

We picked our color based on the time of year and my mother's bridesmaids dresses- green for luck, Irish and March.
The maid of honor and best man will have our rings on their hands- no ringbearer to start crying or pillow to lose.
We bought toasting flutes at the hotel where we got engaged.  Our guest book will be a book of old pictures of Milwaukee (we're history buffs).  Our invitations, programs, menu cards and placecards will be matching.  We are using a wedding photo of us to create thank you cards through someplace like Shutterbug.
We engaged a florist for bouquets, centerpieces, etc.  I let her tell me what I needed and worked from her list to decide what I actually wanted.  FTD is a God send... I found arrangements in my price range for the centerpieces and worked a deal from there.  I discovered making my own meant either silk flowers or a very hectic day- money well spent.  To keep in the budget, I skipped the votive candles and little gifts for each guest.
We found a three-piece ensemble that was willing to be flexible for the reception music.  Also much cheaper than a DJ.
We hired a photographer who cracks both of us up.  Not being big on photos, we have her sending us the "standard" shots, which we will edit to get more candid photos of the evening.
We skipped the cake (bakers around here become evil at the mention of the word "wedding") in favor of an awesome dessert from the reception hall.  Cheaper and less to go wrong.
We skipped limos in favor of everyone having their own car at the end of the evening.  We hired valets at the recption site instead.  They will help ensure that drunks don't get their keys, too.

Martha Stewart does have her act together, much as I hate to admit it!

junebug41
01-13-2008, 10:15 PM
Oh! Another thing that REALLY helped me draw a picture in my mind was "talking it out" with my florist. I love love love her for that reason. By the end of our first conversation I had actual COLORS (a compeltely foreign concept to me- I'm now following a citrus-y color scheme in a garden theme as the ceremony will be in a garden courtyard). I have talked to a few vendors and if I couldn't get a picture of how they would work at my wedding, I didn't go with them. Mojo is very important to me ;)

Some neat ideas we have arrived at:
-He proposed in the very courtyard where we are getting married. We will have the same white table set up as an "homage".
-We may actually have the Navy hymn played in honor of our serving maid of honor
-Ross is getting me a dixieland-type band to play the cocktail hour, which is perfect because I'm a frontier/pioneer history buff and the hotel is a historical landmark (the teddy bear was actually "invented" there during one of Teddy Roosevelt's many bear-hunting trips there)
-Our favors will be little jars of local honey (and that's ALL!)
-No wedding cake, but strawberry (another local theme) and lemon tarts made by my baker friend. BIG $$$ saver. We're not big on cakes anyway.

Lafayette- those are some great ideas!

It seems the more I plan and engage people, the more at ease I am. I do not care about perfection, I just want to get there already (8 looooong months that seem to be racing by).

I lucked out big time on BM dresses. My other MOH lives in boston and a good friend of hers out there actually works for Priscilla's of Boston (they make gorgeous bridesmaid dresses that I thought were completely out of price range). Well, as luck would have it, the moh is working with her friend to get everything ordered through the flagship store which would include the employee discount. I was just going to go through J. Crew, but this may be too good to pass up!

Skinnybride
01-15-2008, 11:13 AM
Hello new Bride to be joining in. A little frazzed today originally we had decided on April 5th but last week i thought hmm thats 3 months away and i havent done anything much less loose the weight. So we moved it to June found a venue, we have a friend thats in a band and they will play for free so we checked on there avaliabilty so far not so good :( 2 weekends are booked hes checking on the 21st but if that too is booked i'm in a panic here. WE are paying for most of the wedding our selves and dont want to start off in debt so alot of the fairytale things we'd like we are passing on but a band wow the one thing we can afford and I really want we can have except now they are booked so please everyone keep me in ur thoughts they pull thru and have an opening for my last option for June. ok panic story over lol

shananigans
01-17-2008, 11:47 AM
Hello ladies! Sounds like all is well more or less in wedding land. ;)

I got The Knot: A Guide to Weddings in the Real World and found it actually has been a really good resource on practical stuff, especially vendors.

I finally found someone to make me a vegan cake. Jeeze, you'd think I was asking to get a cake made out of unicorn farts or something the reaction I got out of most of the bakeries I called. :rolleyes: The local Whole Foods orders theirs from Chicago Diner and it sounds like we'll be able to work something out. The cakes on their site look great! http://veggiediner.com/cakes.html I might get a couple cheesecakes to supplement the dessert table as well. :drool:

Still need to get our act together on calling potential DJs and officiants.

My mom is making the chupah for the ceremony, we've decided on a cream colored under side and the celadon green color for the top and blue ribbons to tie it to the polls. We're going to get some fabric paints and have everyone decorate it during the rehearsal dinner.
:)

Lafayette
01-17-2008, 08:41 PM
Skinnybride- Welcome! Since you're still flexible on the date, you may want to consider a month other than June. It's the most popular month for weddings, followed by September. Things can be more expensive or downright scarce during the "high seasons." Are you talking this year?

Shan- Good luck with the cake! I'm working on a vegan entree and dessert and I may have to go with unicorn farts, especially if you can't find something vegan in Madison! The chupah sounds gorgous!

I got my shoes and sash today. Still waiting on the dress but you know I'll keep you posted! It's getting closer!

rakel
01-21-2008, 07:10 PM
OK! I have been MIA for awhile, but life had taken a turn for the worst around Christmas time -- my business slowed to a halt, my fiance has been looking for a job since October and still hasn't found one, and it was just a mess! But I just accepted a job offer on Friday (to start working Wednesday probably, and making pretty decent money), and my mom sent me some money to use for the wedding. SO... we decided to go a little informal (and more affordable) by getting suits instead of tuxes for the groom and groomsmen. My dad has a bunch of suits so he'll just pick one to wear.

I went dress shopping today and picked out my dress and the bridesmaid dresses. I like the dress I picked out, and fortunately I don't need any alterations. But I will say I did like some of the other dresses I tried on better, there was just no way I could afford them. I didn't think I was going to be able to get the one I did either, but it was marked down even more than what was on the tag, so I ended up paying only $250 for it, plus taxes and the garment bag, it came to $278. I budgeted $150 for the dress coz I thought I would just buy one of the Lane Bryant ones, but I decided that was more hassle than what it was worth -- having to send the dresses back and forth and then what if I didn't like the way it looked? I also bought a little jacket to wear with it after the ceremony, and tomorrow I'm going to Lane Bryant to pick up my undergarments.

There is just soooo much to do. I'm working at least something to do with the wedding every day of the week. I'm saving some good money by trading services with a printer and a photographer -- which is a HUGE lifesaver. I also have some more family and friends that are going to help me out so I'm just very thankful right now for everything. I'm not worried too much about spending a little more for my dress, because I did get this job, it kinda takes the pressure off while John is still looking.

Anyway, here are some photos! I'll start with the dress I bought. I did like some of the more expensive dresses better, but ah well. I think the dress I did go with actually looks better in person, it's just hard to get a good photo with all of those mirrors, lighting, plus the camera was looking up at me, etc. I've lost about 34.5lbs so far, which is a good amount but I have been a little naughty over the past month and made no progress. I didn't really gain anything that didn't easily come right off, but I haven't lost anything either. I think this dress shopping has motivated me to lose another 5 to 10lbs before the wedding. I have 2 months, so I think it's a fairly obtainable goal. The dress fits fine as it is, but I think another 5 to 10 lbs gone would make it fit even better.

rakel
01-21-2008, 07:14 PM
Here are some pictures of the other dresses I tried on! In my next post I'll throw in a "before" photo so you can see the difference!

rakel
01-21-2008, 07:17 PM
And here are some of my "befores" so you can see my progress.

Lafayette
01-21-2008, 10:11 PM
Wow! Way to go! I'm glad to hear things are improving for you! We've had a lot of chaos on my end, too, and it's so wonderful when things finally start to go according to plan. Love the dress!!!

I discovered today that Real Simple has a wedding checklist on their website. I'll have to check it out and see if it's a good recommendation to pass along...

I go to the dentist tomorrow to address my stupidity. Who knew coffee would stain my freshly bleached teeth so badly that I would look like the poster child for preventive dentistry? Yeah... I'm an addict!

shananigans
01-22-2008, 12:45 PM
I go to the dentist tomorrow to address my stupidity. Who knew coffee would stain my freshly bleached teeth so badly that I would look like the poster child for preventive dentistry? Yeah... I'm an addict!

Yikes, all the more reason for me to go on living with my less that snow white teeth! I couldn't go without coffee long enough for the whitening to hold! :lol:

rakel - Your dress looks great, and you've made some awesome progress! Glad things are looking up for you.

rakel
01-22-2008, 01:59 PM
Thanks everybody! Things are starting to come together. I'm leaving for the Orlando mall in an hour or so to pick up my bra for the dress and maybe pick out a sexy lingerie set :D. I have a coupon that takes $25 off a purchase of $75 or more and the bra for my dress is only $55, so why not? :P

I think I'm going to do the photoshop teeth whitening method ;).

Skinnybride
01-23-2008, 03:50 PM
Skinnybride- Welcome! Since you're still flexible on the date, you may want to consider a month other than June. It's the most popular month for weddings, followed by September. Things can be more expensive or downright scarce during the "high seasons." Are you talking this year?

Shan- Good luck with the cake! I'm working on a vegan entree and dessert and I may have to go with unicorn farts, especially if you can't find something vegan in Madison! The chupah sounds gorgous!

I got my shoes and sash today. Still waiting on the dress but you know I'll keep you posted! It's getting closer!

Well the date is set June 21, Our band is avaliable the venue is avaliable , the cake is planned a firend that makes cakes is doing it for free along with a lot of the food.l Just need to get to finding a dress LOL

Lafayette
01-24-2008, 09:43 PM
Great! You're a June bride! How does it feel?

I found my dress at Ann Taylor. They could get it to me in 5-7 business days so I had time to get a few pounds off before the big day ;)

The teeth whitening thing isn't so bad. I had Zoom whitening done and my teeth were very, very sensitive but I survived- caffeine addiction undisturbed with a little Water Joe! This time, I had them do microabrasion on my front teeth to remove some white marks from a bad fever I had as a child. It didn't work, but the grinding made my teeth more susceptible to stains... unbeknownst to me! All is now well and I have a new whitening kit to try. Ah, the pains of being beautiful!

nicolby
01-25-2008, 11:21 AM
I'm getting married December 13th, 2008. :)

Will write more later about my accomplishments, trials, and etc. but I'm at work! I just wanted to peek in and join the bunch :D

twirlandswirl
01-26-2008, 03:06 AM
I just got engaged on NYE, and am getting married Feb 14, 2009, so I'm just starting to delve into the chaos that is wedding planning. I realized I really want to kick my weight loss into high gear, because I don't want to regret my wedding pictures for the rest of my life like I do my high school graduation pictures.

nicolby
01-26-2008, 09:42 AM
Alrighty, so I'm back :)

I'm 30 lbs lighter than I was in November, which is when we got engaged. I'm hoping for another 60-70lbs in total. I'm taking it slowly but seriously. As long as I'm at least 40lbs lighter by december I will be happy. That is REALLY attainable.

I have our bouquets made, I made them by hand out of silk flowers. Everyone expressed interest in keeping their bouquets, and I wanted to make them. I have them air sealed in a dark closet so they retain their beauty until the big day!

My dress is picked out, and I have an idea for my bridesmaids, but I'm letting them pick out their own (all will be the same, but I want them all to feel comfortable) I have bridesmaids ranging from 250+ lbs and 100lbs.. so I want them all to decide on one dress that they all feel good about themselves in. I've chosen the color and length, and they can do the rest ;)

We are going next month to try on and buy our dresses. My is being paid for by my grandparents.

Location is secure. My cousin owns a 2 story log cabin with a private beach on Lake Weir.. it's beautiful! It's set up on a really big hill overlooking the lake. Huge fireplace downstairs, smaller fireplace in the upstairs suite (upstairs is only the master suite and a bathroom), private balcony on the upstairs suite, huge back patio overlooking the cascading staircase that leads to the beach. Half way down the stairs there is a built in gazebo with fans, TVs, grill, fridge, table, chairs... and the whole place is wired for surround sound (even down at the beach) so music is easy.

He is a lawyer, so he's loaded and this is his "vacation house" and we snagged it for the wedding, reception, after party, and our whole week honeymoon all for free!!

I already have my engagement ring. And he's picked out his. I need to get the bands.. probably closer to the wedding, I don't want to lose them!

I have a local part time photog who works days with my grandfather painting houses, and he said he'd give me a really good deal.

My cake is picked out, and being paid for by my grandparents.

.....

I sound like a spoiled brat! In reality we were paying for everything, but they stepped in for my birthday and gave me gift certificates for my dress and cake. And my cousin is just really loaded and really generous :)

I don't think I have enough posts to post pictures but I will once I can!

nicolby
01-26-2008, 09:44 AM
oh, I forgot the best part! the lake house has a huge hot tub on the back patio overlooking the lake! beautiful sunsets!

and in december I'll be LIVING in the hot tub since swimming in the lake will probably be out of the question ;)

nicolby
01-26-2008, 12:01 PM
cant find a picture that i can save of my dress, but here is a link:
http://davidsbridal.com/bridal_gowns_detail.jsp?stid=2027&prodgroup=10

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/nicolby/ring.jpg
that is my ring. it is way prettier in person! It's really sparkley :)

twirlandswirl
01-26-2008, 07:36 PM
oh, I forgot the best part! the lake house has a huge hot tub on the back patio overlooking the lake! beautiful sunsets!


We just went to a wedding where we stayed at a Lake House with a hot tub. (We=wedding party.)

twirlandswirl
01-26-2008, 08:24 PM
Since everyone else is showing off their rings, here's mine!

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2161/2157271321_b60067ee6b_m.jpg

nicolby
01-26-2008, 11:10 PM
twirl: aw, too bad I'm not original! but my place is stilld beautiful, even if it's not original! and your ring is pretty. is it a marquis cut? the angle makes it look like a marquis... sorry if I'm wrong!

mine is 9 princess cut diamonds in the main angular square, and 2 circle cut diamonds on each side.

twirlandswirl
01-27-2008, 02:28 AM
I believe it is a marquis... I'm not terribly knowledgeable about jewelry, to be honest.

I really liked the whole "rent a vacation house for the wedding party" deal. It was nice not to have to get in touch with 30 different people in 30 different places, and to have a place to all come back to and hang out together afterward and help each other get up and ready the morning of.

rakel
01-27-2008, 11:40 AM
A vacation house is a neat idea, if we had to pay to rent out someplace for the wedding I think we would have done that -- on the beach somewhere, because I think it would have actually been cheaper and then like you guys are saying, you can have it for the honeymoon. We're getting married in our church and having the reception there as well. It's a small church but we aren't expecting a lot of people anyway. For the reception, I'm thinking about just doing o'dourves, since the wedding is at 3pm and the reception immediately proceeding, so it's in an "in between" eating period -- too late for lunch and too early for dinner. Plus it's less expensive and that's right in our budget.

We're counting on getting a lot of help from people we know too. I'm also trading with people to get some things I need for the wedding, which is nice. I'm making a website for a photographer and a printer (who is printing my invitations, programs, etc). One older gentleman in our church is a professional cake decorator/baker, so tonight if he's there, I'd like to ask him how much he'd charge to make a cake for us -- my pastor seems to think he'd make it for the cost of ingredients, but I don't want to assume that. There's also a man who has his own very successful business who often lets people stay in his cabin up in the mountains of Tennessee (I think, either that or Kentucky) that is REALLY nice. Our Pastor seems to think he'd let us use it too, but we have to ask him and we haven't yet. It's getting down to the wire though, so I'm going to see if we can ask tonight.

I wasn't planning on having a bridal shower, but my to-be sister in law things that I really should have one. The thing is, that I just don't know that many women down here. I moved here about 2.5 years ago, and most of the time I have been working at home, or in a business with my fiance's brother where there weren't a lot of employees. My fiance has lived here all his life, but he doesn't hang out with a lot of girls. Some of his friends have girl friends, so I'm trying to get to know them better but I'm pretty shy. I feel a little embarrassed inviting some of these girls to my bridal shower because we're really not close and it kind of makes me feel like a loser. I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I guess I get a little down that I don't really have many close friends down here. I've always had a hard time making really good friends, because it takes me awhile to warm up to people.

rakel
01-27-2008, 11:46 AM
Nicolby --

I'm planning on making my own silk bouquets myself, I found some sites with silk flowers, but I was wondering where you got yours and what you think about the quality? I'm looking to purchase from save-on-crafts.com. I'm planning on making all of the boutonnieres and corsages with silk flowers too -- maybe even the decorations to go on the tables at the reception.

You should be able to lose at least 40lbs in 10/11 months -- it's good to not set your goal's too high at an emotional level. It's more realistic to do that because things happen and you aren't going to be perfect. I thought I'd be around 240 by now, but I'm still in the 270's. I think in the end it's going to work better for me, because I'm learning about maintaining as I'm losing weight, instead of losing all the weight and then trying to tame the beast to stay the same.

Lafayette
01-28-2008, 04:47 PM
Aaah! You're posting rings and mine is at the jeweler being resized. I have been gasping as I look at my bare hand all day, thinking I've lost it. I've only been clutching my hand for a few months now...

We did it! No more Euro to dollar exchange rate debates... we booked our flights to Paris for our two-week honeymoon! Hooray! (I'm sure the fact that I agreed to a few days in London for a premier league soccer game had nothing to do with my fiance's sudden agreement!)

Tommorrow night is the big wedding band discussion with the jeweler. Of course, gold and platinum would be at an all-time high right now... guess mine will just have to have more diamonds ;) See? I'm willing to take one for the team!

nicolby
01-29-2008, 03:35 PM
rakel,

I bought my silk flowers from Michaels craft store (michaels.com, I believe) here in my town. The quality is wonderful, and the colors are very vibrant. I'm making our boutonniers (sp?) as well, and probably some sort of centerpiece arrangement for our tables. I agree about my goal, I have enough stress regarding the wedding, I want a realistic goal that I can accomplish, not set myself up for failure right before my wedding!

:P

leanmoomercows
01-29-2008, 05:43 PM
Hi! I was just doing some wedding planning yesterday and today! Woo! I'm living in Kentucky, but getting married in Massachusetts. The date is June 6th, 2008 (it's creeping up!) and will be just outside of Boston. I'm finding it extremely difficult to plan a wedding from 1000 miles away because I always feel as though I'm missing out on something. But luckily I have a wedding planner back in MA, so it's basically all being taken care of.

You're all posting such pretty pictures! I must post some too!

Here's my engagement ring:
http://s3.photobucket.com/albums/y72/moomercows2/ring.jpg

And here's my dress (it's back in MA, so I can't take a picture of me in it, sorry):
http://s3.photobucket.com/albums/y72/moomercows2/dress.jpg

rakel
01-29-2008, 08:20 PM
nicolby -- hmm, when I went to Michaels they were all dusty. Did you have to wash them or anything?

Lafayette
01-29-2008, 09:37 PM
Leanmoomercows- welcome! Gorgeous dress! Mine is very similar- I have the Ann Taylor Elizabeth dress with the champagne sash.

I still miss my ring :( It's a 1.25 ct solitaire in a platinum setting and the wedding ring will be a channel set eternity band (just picked it out tonight!). Platinum prices just hit an all-time high today so it was actually less to buy the platinum eternity band they had in the store than order the plain platinum band I wanted. Hello, bling! Something about this wedding had to work out in my favor!

How's everyone's planning?

leanmoomercows
01-29-2008, 10:05 PM
Lafayette: Thank you, I love my dress too! It's lace all over, I don't know if you can tell from the picture. So it's very light-weight, which is perfect for a June wedding (though it is in New England, the chances are just as good that it'll snow! :dizzy:)

I actually picked out my wedding band yesterday! Every store we looked in mentioned that the price of gold was going up dramatically as well as platinum, so if we wanted to buy, we should soon! We were planning on buying them sometime in the next few weeks anyway, so we just went ahead and bought them right then and there! Though mine needs to be re-sized because my ring size is 3.5, and the one I picked was a 7 (like you said Lafayette...I also chose the one they had in store because it was less expensive then a special order because of gold prices skyrocketing). I suppose it was just good timing. The one that I got is a band with diamonds that sits flush next to my ring; it's from the same place as my engagement ring, so it's made for it. :D

Also, am I the only one who decided to have a Friday night wedding? We looked around at many different event spaces and decided to go for the much nicer (and obviously more expensive) place, but knocked it down to a Friday because the prices actually equaled out. Am I alone on this?

twirlandswirl
01-30-2008, 10:33 AM
What city in MA?

leanmoomercows
01-30-2008, 11:35 AM
Twirlandswirl: I'm originally from Abington, MA which is just about 10 minutes South of Boston and I'm getting married at Lombardo's in Randolph, MA. Are you from MA as well? Or are you getting married in MA?

shananigans
01-30-2008, 12:45 PM
Just wanted to pop in and say "hi" to our newcomers! :wave: Your dress and rings are so beautiful. nicolby, your lcoation sounds great. It's awesome that your family is being so genreous and helpful!

We finally booked our officiant. He's a judge, says he's been doing weddings since 1984, seems like a very pleasant, agreeable and easy to work with individual. He has a standard ceremony that he performs, but he is also open to letting us write out own ceremony/vows, include whatever readings or music we'd like. I got a bunch of books from the library about preparing the ceremony, and there are so many options! I'm looking forward to creating something short and sweet, but nice and personalized. Our goal is to have the ceremony be 30 min or less.

We want to include each of our parents in doing a reading, but we'd like to pick the readings. DF's dad would really like to read the Ana BeKoach and make a copy (bound in a nice cover) for each guest. We're going to say no, but I'll leave that to my DF. ;) Just hope he doesn't take it personally. It would just be weird to have this kabalistic prayer thrown in there when we want to keep the service very secular. We're having a few visual, symbolic traditions borrowed from the Jewish faith, but they are ones I can connect to a larger humanistic context and like the idea of them. Other than that we'd kind of like to keep religion out of it for a number of reason.

Lafayette
01-30-2008, 07:45 PM
Shan- we are also trying to avoid being too religious and making guests of other faiths uncomfortable. I don't want my wedding to look like it was outfitted at a Christian bookstore just because our families are Catholic. We did go with the Catholic wedding Mass, which covers the religious portion of the programming. I think of it as the separation of Church and reception ;) I wish you luck- this is always a tricky area!

Lean- I did see the lace- the lines are very similar between our two dresses, though. I love yours! Lace makes me look like a chubby dwarf for some reason.

twirlandswirl
02-07-2008, 09:13 PM
Twirlandswirl: I'm originally from Abington, MA which is just about 10 minutes South of Boston and I'm getting married at Lombardo's in Randolph, MA. Are you from MA as well? Or are you getting married in MA?

Sorry for the wait... my mom is from Danvers and I spent every summer there growing up!

rakel
02-09-2008, 03:07 PM
Wedding plans are coming along, I got my invitations sent out yesterday... they are beautiful! I am so pleased with how they turned out, really! I also just ordered all of my silk flowers, and I can't wait to start making all of my arrangements!

shananigans
02-14-2008, 01:34 PM
rakel - Your invites are beautiful! You designed them yourself, no?

rakel
02-18-2008, 09:20 PM
I did! I had a friend print them up for me -- silkscreen actually. I'm doing a lot of things myself -- everything but the photography and catering ;). I made up my bridesmaids bouquets tonight (sans ribbon and other finishing touches that I need to purchase tomorrow)... (see picture attached). I'm actually having a lot of fun with these! I made my hair comb too... no photo of that yet though. I'll get one soon!

Lafayette
02-20-2008, 09:01 PM
Rakel- I love peonies! Gorgeous! The "in body/in spirit" response is darling!

Well, just a little over six weeks to go and I'll officially be a Mrs. So far, so calm. We receive response cards daily. I wish we had them all so I could get the seating chart made and the placecards printed. Then I'd be done!

Oh, and I have an offer on the table to start a great new job, so I may be adding "new job" to my list of excitements! I am human Prozac... aaah!

twirlandswirl
02-21-2008, 01:11 PM
Okay, so get this.

THE CHURCH CANCELED MY DATE!

We had to reschedule.

shananigans
02-21-2008, 04:33 PM
Okay, so get this.

THE CHURCH CANCELED MY DATE!

We had to reschedule.

Holy crap, they can do that?!

Our invites have been sent out for proofs, we're looking to have those out by mid-March. This thing is coming so much faster the closer it gets to the date! I have way too much going on with work (planning events) for the next month or so, but things should slow down a little after that so I can focus more on my own event!

twirlandswirl
02-21-2008, 05:09 PM
Apparently... we're now getting married February 7, 2009. I'm trying to look at it as getting to marry my love a week early... but it's hard.

Lafayette
02-26-2008, 09:06 AM
Ah, Twirly!  I hope all goes well for you!  Our priest (and good friend of my family) had a quadruple bypass this past Friday!  I'm not sure what concerns me more: his health or the fact that he still insists on performing the ceremony.  Aaaah!
I have to pass along a FIND:  Merry Modes, Inc. in NJ makes a slip/strapless bra that is perfect for my dress.  Style 9600 is keeping everything where it belongs on the day of my wedding!  What a reflief, since the diet has been more or less chucked out the window!

shananigans
02-26-2008, 11:07 AM
Ah, Twirly! I hope all goes well for you! Our priest (and good friend of my family) had a quadruple bypass this past Friday! I'm not sure what concerns me more: his health or the fact that he still insists on performing the ceremony. Aaaah!
I have to pass along a FIND: Merry Modes, Inc. in NJ makes a slip/strapless bra that is perfect for my dress. Style 9600 is keeping everything where it belongs on the day of my wedding! What a reflief, since the diet has been more or less chucked out the window!

Yikes! I hope he is ok.

Just got my proofs on my invitations in (they look great!) and finalized the guest list. Seems like we're checking things off left and right these days.

I am a little nervous about the undergarment situation with my dress. (I posted pix here (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1871976&postcount=455)). The back is too low to allow for any sort of real bra so the plan is to sew cups into the dress. Hopefully it will be enough to hold everything in place! I've heard mixed reviews about Spanx undergarments, anyone here tried them? I need something that won't show seams through the dress but would also like something to smooth the tummy and thighs. My dress should be here within the next month, I can't believe the wedding is in only 3 months!

tleef
02-26-2008, 02:48 PM
Good afternoon ladies!

I'm getting married on June 1, 2008. It will be the 17th anniversary of our first date. We have a 15 year old daughter that will be giving her father away during the ceremony. Our official has something else on the burner with her as well, but they won't tell us what!

I've lost 10.5lbs since starting back on my plan (Jan 7/08) and am hoping for about 15 more before the wedding...that's three months and should be doable.

I'll just give a quick run down of what I've got done to date:

Colours: (Navy, White & Silver)
Wedding Gown: Picked it up last weekend, have to take it to a seamstress as I'm having the panel in the back (under the corset) changed from a white panel to Navy Blue.
Bridesmaid Dresses: Got em! Alfred Angelo #6310 in Navy
Venue: Done!
Reception Food/Wine: Done!
DJ: Done!
Official: Done!
Invitations: Should be delivered this week. Bought send and seals to make things easy.
Guest List: Pretty much done...still working on the "b" list
Vows: Haven't even started
Wedding Bands: Harven't even looked
Flowers: Have a consultation this Friday
Wedding Consultant: She's a friend and my saving grace so far!
Ceremony: We're getting there...venue is booked just working on details
Rehearsal: Booked
Photographer: Booked and we've already done our engagement photos...one is my Avatar
Decor: Working on it

If anyone is interested you can check out our website: www.tamarawedsjason08.com

Looking forward to hearing ideas, exchanging photos and so on.

Cheers,
Tamara

Mickey79sf
02-27-2008, 12:30 PM
Morning Ladies, :)
My name is Michele and I'm getting married on October 25, 2008 :) we wanted to get married on halloween, but it landed on a Friday :( we have started to get things in order, guest list and such. im going to be doing all of the wedding favors and decorations. our colors are black, red & silver. so.. i need to actually lose like 20 to 30 lbs by the middle of may early june for my first dress fitting. my future hubby is trying to lose as well., but he has way more time than me:devil:. so im here for diet support and wedding support cuz im gonna need both :hug::) i look forward to reading all your past post and getting to know u all. thanks!

Lafayette
03-03-2008, 10:29 PM
Welcome tleef and Mickey79sf!Shan- I have not tried Spanx but I understand they are super spandex.  I was referred to Soma Intimates (a division of Chico's) for garments with some sucking power but with less super spandex injury potential.  I eventually chose the Merry Modes slip and never even tried Soma.My wedding is coming up VERY fast!  This Friday is my last day in my current job and I will be starting the new job 3/10, working for two weeks, then taking three weeks off (one before the wedding and two after for the honeymoon).  Insanity!!!  Right now, I am trying to create placecards and avoid maiming a particularly annoying coworker before the end of the week...Wish me luck!  Tomorrow night is my first fitting with the seamstress.  That dress better fit!
I gave my mom free reign to put together goodie bags for the travelling guests. She's having a blast, but I think the gift bag budget has been tripled by now. Gotta love her!

tleef
03-04-2008, 03:59 PM
Hi Lafayette: Your wedding IS coming up really fast! You'll have to let us know how the dress fits. My first fitting is coming up at the end of March so I feel your pain. I've started exercising like a maniac in hopes of not just dropping more poundage but a couple of inches as well. The dress fits already, but I'd like the corset at the back to cinch in a little tighter than it currently does!

Your thoughts on maiming your coworker made me giggle...so thanks for that. It was interesting to me to hear that you're starting a new job right before the wedding. I also applied for a new job and will find out by the end of this week. That would give me two months at a new job before I am off for the wedding. What is it with us crazy brides? You'd think that we'd be swamped enough with wedding planning, households, full time jobs...but NO we have to run out and get new careers while we're at it. I think proposals destroy brain cells! LOL

I'm working a full-time and part-time job, am president of a non-profit group in town, have a house to run, a teenaged daughter, Fiance...of course as well as our 2yr old dog, 5yr old rabbit and three parrots. Sometimes I think I must be crazy...but then again most of the time it all seems like it's so worth it.

Anyhow so you must be really ready for the wedding. I just had my floral consult and will have to put my deposit down and get those ordered right away. Other than that we have a bit of time still...although I'm sure it will just fly by, especially if I get that new job and can't spend hours a day surfing the internet! LOL

Have a great day!
Tamara

shananigans
03-08-2008, 09:07 PM
Hi Lafayette:
I'm working a full-time and part-time job, am president of a non-profit group in town, have a house to run, a teenaged daughter, Fiance...of course as well as our 2yr old dog, 5yr old rabbit and three parrots. Sometimes I think I must be crazy...but then again most of the time it all seems like it's so worth it.

OK, you win! :lol:

What's up with all the non-profit chicks in this thread? I'm also looking into applying for a job with a 4/15 application deadline. Don't know how serious I am about it just yet, but anything could happen this spring!

We had a "teleconference" with the DJ this afternoon, so our last big vendor is tied up.

Do any of you have suggestions for readings? We want to keep things secular and a little light. So far we have my FFIL reading this:


ďFalling in Love is Like Owning a DogĒ by Taylor Mali
First of all, itís a big responsibility,
So think long and hard before deciding on love.
On the other hand, love gives you a sense of security:
when youíre walking down the street late at night
and you have a leash on love
ainít no one going to mess with you.
Because crooks and muggers think love is unpredictable.
Who knows what love could do in its own defense?
On cold winter nights, love is warm.
It lies between you and lives and breaths
and makes funny noises.
Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs.
It needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy.
Love doesnít like being left alone for long.
But come home and love is always happy to see you.
It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life,
but you can never be mad at love for long.
Is love good all the time? No! No!
Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad! Very bad love.
Love makes messes.
Love leaves you little surprises here and there.
Love needs lots of cleaning up after.
Sometimes you just want to get love fixed.
Sometimes you want to roll up a piece of newspaper
and swat love on the nose,
not so much to cause pain,
just to let love know ĎDonít you ever do that again!í
Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk.
Because love loves exercise.
It runs you around the block and leaves you panting.
It pulls you in several different directions at once,
or winds around and around you
until youíre all wound up and canít move.
But love makes you meet people wherever you go.
People who have nothing in common but love
stop and talk to each other on the street.
Throw things away and love will bring them back,
again, and again, and again.
But most of all, love needs love, lots of it.
And in return, love loves you and never stops.



I'd love to include something from childrens literature too, maybe Dr. Seuss or Sheil Silverstein. Any thoughts?

Lafayette
03-10-2008, 10:51 PM
"Bad, love, Bad!" is the best line ;) Nonprofit chicks rule!

I'm just finalizing the programs. All that's left after that is the seating arrangement and placecards.

The dress fits but the seamstress is giving me a little extra room up top. It turns out I'm a DD, not a D. We'll be making some alterations ;) That, and I swear they figure the hem for 6'-tall women... you can't fix that with diet either!

Tleef- sleep when you're dead ;) Apply and improve your prospects! My first day was awesome and I'm actually looking forward to the next two weeks of work instead of dreading the fact that I will have to stay focused (or at least appear that way) in a position I hate while I'd rather be doing wedding stuff.

Lafayette
03-11-2008, 08:41 AM
To answer your question, Shan... http://weddings.about.com/od/yourweddingceremony/a/NovelReadings.htm

I like the Madeleine L'Engel reading: From "The Irrational Season" by Madeleine L'Engle

But ultimately there comes a moment when a decision must be made. Ultimately two people who love each other must ask themselves how much they hope for as their love grows and deepens, and how much risk they are willing to take…It is indeed a fearful gamble…Because it is the nature of love to create, a marriage itself is something which has to be created, so that, together we become a new creature.

To marry is the biggest risk in human relations that a person can take…If we commit ourselves to one person for life this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession, but participation…It takes a lifetime to learn another person…When love is not possession, but participation, then it is part of that co-creation which is our human calling, and which implies such risk that it is often rejected.

elisarae
03-12-2008, 11:49 AM
Ahhh Yae!! I thought this forum was closed!!!!!!!

I have been in this relationship for almost 4 yrs. Yeshua & I got engaged March 21st of last year. I want to get married on our 5th yr together. May 2nd, 2009! But I would like to drop all this extra weight I gained after having my 2nd child.

Lafayette
03-13-2008, 09:11 AM
Hi Elisarae!

I am bad diet example. I lost weight after a major abdominal surgery this past August and then ordered my dress in the next size up, just in case wedding cake samples got the better of me. Not exactly motivational... but I did get down to a size 8 from a 14.

Good luck! I'm getting married March 29 (yes, in less than three weeks) so I may be AWOL for a while, but I'm pulling for you! And best wishes on the engagement!

elisarae
03-13-2008, 09:20 AM
Hi Elisarae!

I am bad diet example. I lost weight after a major abdominal surgery this past August and then ordered my dress in the next size up, just in case wedding cake samples got the better of me. Not exactly motivational... but I did get down to a size 8 from a 14.

Good luck! I'm getting married March 29 (yes, in less than three weeks) so I may be AWOL for a while, but I'm pulling for you! And best wishes on the engagement!


Well hun you couldn't help but loose the weight. I wish I was an 8!! I'm sorry you had to have surgery. I hope you are better now. And many congrats on the wedding, 3 weeks will be here in no time!! YAE!! Thank you for the lovely comments!

Lafayette
03-13-2008, 09:35 PM
Elisarae- have you started your wedding planning yet? We talked out the tone and feel we wanted our wedding to have and the rest seemed to fall into place (with quite a bit of work, but you know what I mean). We stopped debating every decision and just went with what best met our overall plan and budget. I have to say, going the traditional route- Church ceremony, dinner/dancing reception at the county club, following the almighty Emily Post rules- made our wedding really easy to pull together.

Thank God, or I'd be totally insane right now!

elisarae
03-14-2008, 08:51 AM
Elisarae- have you started your wedding planning yet? We talked out the tone and feel we wanted our wedding to have and the rest seemed to fall into place (with quite a bit of work, but you know what I mean). We stopped debating every decision and just went with what best met our overall plan and budget. I have to say, going the traditional route- Church ceremony, dinner/dancing reception at the county club, following the almighty Emily Post rules- made our wedding really easy to pull together.

Thank God, or I'd be totally insane right now!

I have started planning but Lord, I've already racked up 2 grand and haven't spent a dime yet. I know when time comes the total cost will be out the roof.
I dunno, maybe just a small wedding....Ahhh, it's so stressful.

shananigans
03-14-2008, 04:59 PM
Welcome elisarae! And congrats.

Lafayette, your wedding will be here so soon!

Called the dress shop, my dress should get delivered the week of 3/24. :)

I think we've basically decided on what entree options we want.


Option 1: Caribbean Polenta (from the caterer's standard menu)

Gourmet red pepper polenta topped with fresh mango salsa, baked red rice with black beans & toasted corn


Option 2: Custom menu we came up with

Grilled eggplant roulade (filled with a sauteed mix of mushrooms, greens like spinach or kale, and leeks or shallots) with roasted red pepper coulis, Pilaf stuffed pepper (I'd like the pilaf to be something unusual to make it a little more interesting if possible, I'm thinking quinoa - red lentil - toasted pine nuts would be a good combo), Grilled asparagus


I feel like I need a green vegetable with the polenta dish though. Meeting with the caterers on 3/30, weíll talk about it then.

Cake thing is working itself out. Caterer might be able to accommodate us yet (theyíre worried about dairy-free frosting? Donít get it, again, going to discuss in meeting) but I have a back up bakery in Milwaukee if that falls through.

Found another job Iím interested in today. Who decides to start a job search 2 months before their wedding? :dizzy:

Are we having fun yet?

Lafayette
03-17-2008, 11:05 PM
Ha! I started a new job this past Monday! Well worth the minor psychosis, let me tell you! I love the new place and they are thrilled to have me, even if my productivity is about to become a little questionable.

Elisarae- the best advice we received was to make the wedding reflect who we are as a couple. We sat and discussed how we wanted the day to go and what we wanted to have in general terms before we really started signing anything. It was exhausting, but it made everything much easier in the end.

Eat your heart out, brides to be! We created a seating chart for 200 people in under 30 minutes! And it's a really good one, too.

The programs are spitting out of the printer as I sit here and I'm holding off on the placecards until the week of the wedding (next week). Otherwise, I just have one final dress fitting and I'm ready to go! Yippee!

Now, ask me if I've packed for the honeymoon... I need to get on that!

junebug41
03-18-2008, 12:11 AM
Lafayette- have you packed for your honeymoon? ;) Congrats on the new job! The day is approaching! How much time are you taking off for the wedding?

Sorry I have been MIA, but my new job kicked into high gear, school is crazy and we are level 1 planning mode :lol:
After being in DF's home state over the weekend and dealing with question after question, I can say, with just over 5 months left I have accomplished:
-the registry
-the dress
-almost done with BM dress details
-flower girl dress (no ring bearer)
-bachelor party is in the works
-DJ is hired
-dessert is settled (no wedding cake- homemade strawberry and lemon fruit tarts instead)
-reservations at the hotel are being made by guests
-menus are good to go
-photographer hired
-florist hired
-engagement pic session scheduled

Big ones remaining:
-hiring ceremony musicians (coming from the Aspen Music Fest and School so I have to wait until the start of the season in May)
-Groom and GM attire
-the officient (we NEED to get on this pronto)

When I'm awake, I'm excited and can't wait. However, I'm having nightmares again (my dress is a dark green prom dress, I show up at the wrong place and the most terrifying to date, my dad is a no-show!)

Hope planning is going well, ladies!

Oh, and I have a question: Are you double registering? For example, I'm registered at BB&B and Target. I registered for several items at both places (casual dinnerware, coffee makers, bedding, etc...) Is this incredibly stupid? They both have lax return policies so we can take things back, but I wonder if it was wise. Thoughts?

velsmore
03-18-2008, 12:42 AM
I am so glad this thread exists! I am so close to my goal, and I am determined to wait until I start trying on dresses. Good luck to everyone


Bride to be rock

Lafayette
03-20-2008, 09:57 PM
Velsmore- welcome!

Junebug- I registered at two places and, in some cases, for the same thing at each. I think it's smart!

I have eight days to "I do." OMG! Today was my last day at work until April 14th. I took off the week before the wedding (tomorrow was a bonus cuz it's Good Friday) and two weeks after for the honeymoon. We're doing two weeks between Paris and London. Yes, on top of the historic spike in precious metals pricing, we are vacationing in Europe while the dollar is hitting historic lows. Oh, well! We're only doing this ONCE!

Sunshine07
03-24-2008, 09:32 AM
Wow how this thread has changed I havent been here in a long time.

Lafayette I remember when you were just deciding on your location. That was a while ago.

I have been MIA due to not being motivated to losing weight and also to just being stressed out with wedding planning and not having enough time to post everyday. Well with less that 4 months to go, I am in panic mode to lose some weight and to get down to a good size to be able to fit in my dress. Yesterday I tried my dress on and it was a little tight. I did not feel comfortable due to the inside corset being about to explode. So FH and I went to the store last night and bought stuff for the South Beach diet. We decided that is what worked best for us. I remember I lost a lot of weight with this diet and I felt really good.

Our new wedding date we finally finalized after many date changes is July 12th 2008. We have everything done, except for choosing the flowers, we have already reserved the date with the florist I just need to go inside to choose everything. We just bought our flutes, serving set and cake topper last week. They are beautiful!! I will see if I can post a picture of them. I also chose my cake. It is white cake with raspberry filling and whip cream frosting 3 layers. Very Yumm-O!!!!

Colors of the wedding are black, white, silver and a magenta fuschia accent. It is going to be beautiful. We are having our reception at this yummy Italian restaurant here locally and also we are getting a great deal which is even better.

My cake topper
http://a248.e.akamai.net/f/248/12659/30d/s7diod-isorigin.scene7.com/is/image/ThingsRemembered/000591519?wid=269&op_sharpen=1
My Flutes
http://a248.e.akamai.net/f/248/12659/30d/s7diod-isorigin.scene7.com/is/image/ThingsRemembered/000589602?wid=269&op_sharpen=1
My Server Set
http://a248.e.akamai.net/f/248/12659/30d/s7diod-isorigin.scene7.com/is/image/ThingsRemembered/000589644?wid=269&op_sharpen=1

Lafayette~ Congrats on your upcoming wedding on Saturday, sending non-stressful vibes your way this week!!

Lafayette
03-24-2008, 10:45 AM
Thanks! So far, it has been just the stress of weird requests... which I have all dismissed as asinine... am I a charmer, or what?

My dress fits(!) and the seating chart is almost done. Only 6 days to go!

junebug41
03-28-2008, 12:30 AM
:cloud9::yay::cheers:


I just wanted to send some good vibes out to lafayette as I'm sure things are crazy right now! I hope you are having fun and enjoying every moment! Good luck on Saturday!
:goodvibes::goodvibes::goodvibes::goodvibes:

Sunshine07
03-28-2008, 10:12 AM
Yes!! I agree. I am sending stress free vibes your way.

Good Luck tomorrow and have lots of fun and make sure to eat!!

Lafayette
03-29-2008, 08:28 AM
Thanks guys! Today is the big day and I'm excited, but not freaked out... yet! Then again, I haven't actually finished a cup of coffee so I may not be fully aware of my surroundings ;)

Lafayette
04-13-2008, 07:47 AM
I still can't believe how perfect our wedding was. The band was a real hit- a cello, clarinet and accordian- they played dance music when people wanted to dance and faded into the background with great conversation music when people wanted to talk. The Church and reception venue were both stunningly beautiful. We achieved our goal of blurring the lines between friends, co-workers and family. Everyone had a great time and we returned home from our honeymoon to a pile of cards complimenting us on how lovely everything was.

I'm halfway through the thank you notes so I'd better get back tio work. How is everyone doing with their plans?

PinkyPie
04-13-2008, 08:45 AM
Just wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS Lafayette!!!! Now a MRS!!!!


I posted LONG ago in the other thread... we decided on a date, Oct 14th this year. That means I have 6 months...

but we are just going to the courthouse - it's not my first time nor is it my DF's... but we still want to look nice and we'll have the kids with us, plus a couple of witnesses :)

Lafayette
04-14-2008, 08:15 AM
Thanks, Velveteen! Have you picked a dress?

PinkyPie
04-14-2008, 08:43 AM
nope, I've picked absolutely nothing except the actual location where we want to get married! EEK!!

I just want to be a bit smaller before I buy a dress, fingers crossed mid towards end of the summer I'll be going shopping :)

Lafayette
04-14-2008, 09:16 AM
I hear ya on that! I bought my dress from Ann Taylor because they could get it to me in 5-7 business days with regular shipping and they do free exchanges, just in case. Target has some really cute options, too. Happy shopping!

Now, I have to focus on losing the 5 pounds I gained on the honeymoon and getting myself into the next size down...

PinkyPie
04-14-2008, 10:03 AM
Well, I don't live in the US, but I know that I should be able to get something fairly easy here in NL or in Germany. In fact in Germany there's even a better selection of plus sizes... maybe I won't be a plus then, but if I am, it's a good option (I only live about 40 min from one of the largest shopping malls in Germany!).

Lafayette
04-15-2008, 08:31 AM
My sister sent me some German bridal magazines and the dresses were beautiful. It was nice not to have to pay the VAT, though!

jillybean720
04-15-2008, 09:57 AM
Hola, chicas! I posted back in the day when Jeff and I got engaged last year. We're still engaged with no wedding plans in sight :dizzy:

Congrats on a perfect wedding, Lafayette!!!

We were engaged for a year as of March 12th. We were waiting to plan our actual wedding until my parents sold thei house in CT and moved to their new house in Virginia Beach. Well, they moved into their new house on April 1, so here we are!

We have no clue what we want to do, when we want to do it, where we want to do it...we know we don't want a typical traditional wedding. Jeff doesn't want to wear a tux, and I don't want anything to do with a church. I think we're leaning toward a destination wedding, but we don't know where. At over 300 pounds, I'm really not much of a beach person. We want to stay in the US and near the east coast so it doesn't get too expensive for our family (Jeff's cousin practically raised him, and she's married and has 3 kids, and we want them at our wedding, but we don't want them spending thousands for their family of 5 to attend!). I'm thinking either an amusement park or a resort in the mountains somewhere, to be followed by an informal reception in CT (where most of my extended family lives) for anyone who can't make it to our, umm, destination :cool:

The only thing holding me back from settling on an amusement park is that I'm currently too large for most rides, so I would want to lose quite a bit of weight first. I think we'll see how I do in the next 6 months or so. We're in no hurry to get married since it seems like sort of a technicality at this point--we've been together for over 4 years, living together for almost 3 years, engaged for over a year, own a home together, and have 2 fur kids (puppies). The only difference will be my last name and our tax filing status :p

Lafayette
04-16-2008, 07:43 AM
Hi, Jilly! I abandoned all hope of a beach theme, too. They don't make enough sunscreen to get me on a beach...

A friend of mine did a great park wedding with a small group of musicians and very simple but elegant touches. Are there any parks in your area with great pavillions? That would allow you to take advantage of the park's flowers (save $ on a florist and time decorating). Plus, a nice suit and a pretty dress would be perfect for a park wedding. She did cake, punch and coffee, but you could have a cook-out if you wanted to provide a meal. With any luck, you could find one close to a play area and make the kids (fur and other) happy, too ;)

Dina1979
04-16-2008, 10:18 AM
Hey Ladies - I just joined 3FC today and I'm so thrilled to have found a Brides-to-be group!

2 Months til our wedding and everything is pretty much done. I decided to have my dress made b/c its impossible to go to a bridal shop and buy a dress that looks and fits the way i wanted. To have the dress made was only $400 and now I can tell everyone my dress was "couture!" LOL

junebug41
04-16-2008, 11:37 AM
Welcome, Dina, and congratulations!

Lafayette, I'm so glad that everything was perfect! Send some of that good ju-ju around, will ya ;)

Things are moving along.... my dress came in a couple of weeks ago, but I have yet to go inspect it. Things have just been so busy and I would like to have someone come with me as well.

We took our engagement pics on Sunday. It was a GORGEOUS day and we did it all over downtown. We lucked out because the previous weekend there was a hockey playoff game, a baseball game, and a convention. This weekend there was NO ONE around. It was nice and quiet so we could get some shots in the middle of the street. Actually, we noticed several other couples doing their pics as well and it made us feel slightly cliche... I hold that we were having the most fun, though ;) We should get the proofs today and I will post some up!

Lafayette
04-17-2008, 09:17 AM
Dina- great deal on the couture dress!

Jen- I only send good ju-ju ;)

We still haven't done our engagement pics so I have time to lose some weight. (We skipped them because I was recovering from surgery.) I'm struggling with being back on the diet this week. I have pears, apples, cashews, oatmeal, whole grain bread... I just have to stay away from the pizza parlor next door to my office!

jillybean720
04-17-2008, 09:40 AM
I don't think we'll do any engagement pics or announcements or anything like that. Can't wait to see your proofs, junebug--sounds like you had a lot of fun!

I think I'm happy with the idea of an amusement park wedding. Most parks have private picnic/event areas you can rent out, and then it would still be fun for everyone. Even if people (like my mother) don't like to go on rides, so many parks have lots of shops and other cool stuff. Busch Gardens is especially good for this, so that's an option (Williamsburg, VA). We also briefly discussed Sea World, but we're not sure we want to do Florida, so we'll see. I'll have to do some research on cool parks east of the Mississippi :) I bet we could get a cool wedding shot on a carousel--that would be cute. We'll have to pick a fun photographer.

Lafayette
04-19-2008, 09:34 AM
There are several nice amusement parks in Ohio, too. I think it sounds like a fun wedding!

jillybean720
04-19-2008, 09:47 PM
There are several nice amusement parks in Ohio, too. I think it sounds like a fun wedding!
Funny you should mention Ohio--before I even read your post, Jeff and I have decided to go to Ohio in the fall to check out Cedar Point and the Kalahari Resort near there. As of right now, that's our front runner for location. Being right on Lake Erie, we are thinking a lakeside ceremony location, then just a big meal at a nice restaurant--possibly a morning ceremony followed by a nice brunch, then off to the park. To save a few bucks, I know my family will be willing to stay in a suite at the Kalahari Resort--they have suites that sleep up to 12 people. I would assume that would be cheaper than sleeping 12 people all in individual 2-person rooms. Jeff and I are planning to go check everything out in October, which I'm looking forward to in itself since we've NEVER been on a trip before that didn't involve visiting family.

Lafayette
04-20-2008, 09:46 AM
Jilly- Make sure you get a room for just the two of you! Even if you don't plan on a wild honeymoon night, you will really appreciate the time together without all the noise and chaos ;)

We made it a point to intersperse our wedding day plans with scheduled breaks for just the two of us. I think that's the reason why I was so calm and happy!

jillybean720
04-20-2008, 12:09 PM
Jilly- Make sure you get a room for just the two of you!
Oh, absolutely! I meant the 12-person suite for my family--us not included. Oh no, for us, they offer a king room with a large whirpool jacuzzi IN the room right next to the bed, a fireplace, and a private balcony. I love my family, but not enough to share space--or even walls--with them on my wedding night ;)

Lafayette
04-21-2008, 11:36 PM
Smart woman!!! We stayed on a locked club floor at our hotel, just in case my brothers got any practical joke ideas.

If I can derail the wedding discussion for a moment, how is South Beach working for you?

jillybean720
04-22-2008, 05:59 AM
South Beach works great when I actually stick to it :p I've sort of restarted as of yesterday because the Biggest Loser challenge here on 3FC started, but I'm not doing Phase 1 again because I now have high blood pressure, and I tend to eat more high-sodium processed meats when I'm in Phase 1 (but that's because I'm a picky eater, not because the diet tells me to eat processed stuff ;) ).

prepping
04-23-2008, 12:29 PM
Hi everyone! I'm new here but thought this group would be somewhat appropriate. I've got some time to go - June 27th, 2009 - but like the idea of being able to share in the crazy bride-to-be syndrome with some fellow ladies.

well actually I'd like to avoid the crazy bride-to-be syndrome alltogether, but we'll see how that goes when it gets closer to the date. ;)

My goal: lose 15-20 lbs by end of June because somehow looking good in a skirt this summer is more important to me right now then looking good in a white dress next year.

jillybean720
04-23-2008, 01:15 PM
Welcome, prepping! I've got lots of time, too. We're thinking of a fall 2009 or spring 2010 wedding--no date set yet.

Lafayette
04-27-2008, 10:13 AM
The key to avoid being crazy the day of the wedding is to simply decide you're not going to get mad/be crazy. So many stupid, crazy, and flat-out ludicrous things happened surrounding our wedding... I just decided to deal with it later or not deal with it at all. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't easy to ignore some of the stuff! Still, it was my wedding day and I just didn't want to allow someone else to interfere with my happiness.

Also, I turned off my cell phone on the day before our wedding (before the rehearsal) and kept it off until we got back from our honeymoon. Everyone magically found the answers they needed elsewhere ;)

Lafayette
05-03-2008, 10:13 AM
How's everyone doing? My diet is derailed almost daily by the pizza shop next door to my office!

junebug41
05-07-2008, 11:08 AM
Jill- that sounds like a great idea to do the wedding at a theme/amusement park! Everyone would have a blast!

Lafayette- I don't know what I would do if I lived or worked next to a pizza parlor. Heaven forbid.

Well, I got the call of the year yesterday... apparently my wedding coordinator through the hotel was fired and I was given a new coordinator. The old coordinator had done NOTHING as far as making the necessary arrangements- she hadn't entered our menu, charged our deposit, made the necessary room blocks, or anything else that she should have had done 3.5 months before the wedding! I'm livid!!!

The upside: The new coordinator is based in Denver, about a mile from my house. They also waved the ceremony fee ($500) and the rehearsal dinner room fee ($500). I'm going to see what else I can rack up...

I am trying to post my engagement pics, but they are not shareable:( They turned out ok- I'm still working off my 10 lb re-gain and Ross looks half stoned in most of them. He's like Chandler Bing in that Friends episode where him and Monica are taking engagement pictures and when he has to smile he looks ridiculous...

ASHmomma
05-08-2008, 09:31 PM
So, I'm new to the whole thread-posting thing. BUT I am engaged & we sort of have a date set for August 1, 2009.

I'm Melissa, my fiance is Charles. I have 2 daughters from a previous relationship that less than worked out.

We're just waiting to see when the girls biological father will sign over paternity (hopefully he will, long horrible story), then we'll have a date set for sure & everyones (except his) will change! It's rather exciting, I can't wait until our wedding/adoption day!

Charles & I both consider ourselves artists. I am a pregnancy/ newborn/ GLBT photographer. Attempting to carve my own niche in the midwest. We're going to be difficult & actually end up taking our own engagement photographs!

I have a weight loss goal of 80 pounds to lose. I've lost about 11 so far in the past month & I'm gonna just keep on truckin!

I look forward to meeting everyone!

Lafayette
05-09-2008, 09:26 AM
Jen- Glad you'll get something positive out of that situation! Good grief!

Ash- Welcome!

junebug41
05-12-2008, 04:24 PM
Well I finally made it to the shop to inspect my dress. It's perfect! Well, not perfect. It's a size 12 and I want to lose 10 lbs by the wedding and it fits pretty well now.... except the boobs. The cups in the dress are huge! I could catch a turkey in the space between the dress and my chest! So, if I don't magically grow another cup size, I'm going to be shopping for falsies...

Where are all the brides???

NoVaVTFan
05-12-2008, 08:55 PM
Hi everyone - it's been awhile. So my wedding is 5 months from today. I finished all of the planning back in February, so the past few months have been just kinda sitting around letting the days go by. I'm starting to think about the wedding again now - wedding bands, invitations, shoes, favors, etc. I like that am able to take things slow, but I'm still ready for the day to be here.

I have 5 months to work out and lose more weight before the wedding. I'm struggling with losing weight the past few months, have been holding steady from 136-138. I'm not too horribly upset about that because I lost a lot in a year. I would like to get about 5-6 more pounds off by the wedding so I'm thinking of cutting back my calories and stepping up the exercise. I've been pretty good with exercise but calories have been a bit high. Not enough to make me gain, but not low enough to lose. I would love (in my secret mind) to be 115 pounds and have no flab, but I know that might not happen for a long time or at all. I'm trying to be happy with my new body as it is, even though I'm still trying to lose weight and get in better shape. I would love to be 130 for the wedding and especially the 2 week honeymoon in Hawaii, but I'm not going to let those last few pounds drive me crazy. I know that my dress fits (it actually has to be taken in) and that I have done very well over the past year. I am not going to be a bride obsessive about her weight. And that's a promise!

jillybean720
05-13-2008, 05:47 AM
I could catch a turkey in the space between the dress and my chest! So, if I don't magically grow another cup size, I'm going to be shopping for falsies...
Now THERE'S a visual! :laugh:

I have that problem in ALL tops, not just formal dresses. I'm so big that clothing manufacturers assume I have huge boobs. Not true. Being over 300 pounds and a B cup is practically an oxy moron, but it's me! :D

Lafayette
05-13-2008, 09:26 AM
Wow, NoVa! You have lost quite a bit of weight! Congrats! I did not reach my goal by my wedding. I decided to just be happy and healthy and enjoy the day. Looking at the pictures, I kinda regret not making a last-ditch effort, but I am forever grateful for how sane and relaxed I was in the months and weeks leading up to the wedding. I think it was worth the trade off! I wish you luck and big hugs! I know the temptation to starve yourself is alive an well in the bridal world ;)


Turkeys, Jen? Huh. LOL

reddahlia
05-15-2008, 06:50 AM
Hi! I'm new here, have posted before but opened a new account and I'm starting over. I'm getting married in either October or January, but leaning towards October. My fiancee and I are getting healthy together and attempting to have fun doing it. :) I'm excited to be here and get the support of other girls in the same situation!

shananigans
05-16-2008, 03:08 PM
Hi Yíall. Sorry I have been MIA! I have a lot going on with work, and of course wedding planning, and just donít have the time to cover all the little corners of the internet I like to frequent as much.

Lafayette Ė Iím so glad your wedding went so well! Sounds like the perfect day. :)

I havenít lost any more weight, and I donít care. I know how that must sound, but Iíve come to an understanding with my body and we get along just fine. I am always striving to eat better and I have fitness goals (Iíve run 2 five mile races this spring, plan to train for a half marathon over the next year), but if the scale doesnít want to move thatís itís own business I guess. I feel awesome and am happy with how I look (most days anyway) so Iím not really saying weight loss is specifically on my agenda for now.

I had my final dress fitting a couple weeks ago, it is so gorgeous. I am so happy I found that dress! Almost everything is taken care of at this point, just a couple little odds and ends to take care of this weekend. FMIL and some members of the wedding party arrive this Wed, bachorette party is Thurs, Fri night weíre having a small family get together at the hotel to celebrate Shabbat, Sat is rehearsal/dinner, and Sun is the big day! It really sneaks up, Iím telling ya.

I am excited, but there will be a big sigh of relief when this is over and we can get back to life as usual. :dizzy:

Spiders from Mars
05-16-2008, 07:24 PM
Hi everyone! I'm pretty new to 3FC, and I just stumbled into this thread.

My fiance proposed last summer on June 29th, and we're planning the wedding for next fall. Hopefully early September '09. I am hoping to be at goal by then as well. I am so new to this wedding stuff and I feel totally lost. But I just read this entire thread (...yeah) and it's been such a big help. Congrats to all of you!

So far, the only thing I have picked (I think) is the place. I don't have enough posts to include a link, but it's called the Jardin Del Sol in Snohomish, WA. I want to see it in person, but we're 99% sure this is the place.

Again, congratulations to all of you and I hope I get to know you a little better! :wave:

Lafayette
05-19-2008, 08:25 AM
Way to go, Shan! So glad you've decided to break away from the pre-wedding diet trauma and just enjoy yourself. Can't wait to hear how it all turns out! Congrats!

Welcome everyone!

junebug41
06-09-2008, 02:28 PM
Since my last post is gone to the forum Gods, I would like to congratulate Shannon (Irishowl) again for her upcoming wedding!

Also, I have to gush for a moment about how excited I am!

I'm not big on favors, but decided that I wanted to add a special "Colorado" touch to the garden theme. I searched high and low for a Colorado company that would sell me little jars of CO honey without charging me a fortune and I found one! They sent me a free sample and they are darling! Also, the honey comes in several flavors like whipped cinnamon, strawberry champagne, wild chokecherry jam, raspberry whipped and regular old wildflower honey:drool:. They sent me "bumbleberry" which is a whipped mix of blueberry, raspberry and blackberry and OMG! It's delicious! And the jars are really simple little glass jars that you can have customized.

I think I'm on a sugar rush or something... But I just had to brag. www.honeyvillecolorado.om

clibrarian
06-10-2008, 12:09 PM
Junebug41-- that is an adorable idea-- I love the idea of something 'local' as the favor. I'm getting married in September in the Cape Ann area of Massachusetts. At first I was thinking salt water taffy, but not everyone loves that as much as I do...

The honey idea is very cute for Colorado...

mazda
06-11-2008, 01:57 PM
I'm so happy I found this thread!! I'm getting married at the end of august and i am really starting to feel the anxiety of having to look "perfect" on that day. Its so stressful. I would really like to lose about 7 lbs to be at the weight I was when I met my fiance. It doesn't sound like a lot, but I am short and every lb shows. I usually eat great for 3-4 days and then binge and gain in all back. Its a vicious cycle. I need to stick to it.
I'm so excited about getting married but this pressure I am putting on myself is insane...do others feel this way too? i kind of wish i just eloped.

junebug41
06-11-2008, 05:31 PM
clibrarian: I know a lot of people say they aren't wild about salt water taffy, but I think that would be a really great touch and incredibly appropriate for the setting :) Not to mention relatively inexpensive! My maid of honor lives in Boston and would LOVE to get married on the cape... if only the boyfriend would pop the question!

Mazda- congrats! I'm getting married on August 23rd, which was incredibly stupid on my part. The Democratic National Convention is the following week in Denver and all of my guests are flying in to DIA. Now, if DF would have asked when I was ready 2 years ago, none of this would have been an issue ;)

I am so with you on the vicious cycle. My problem is weekends. I'm ok with one offplan day, but I tend to stretch it from Friday night to Sunday night. No good.

And yes. I should have eloped.

skinnybeach
06-12-2008, 12:55 AM
Well I picked up my wedding dress last Friday and have only lost 2 lbs since buying it...well oddly enough its a whole size too big i think, especially in the top. Looks like i'll be finding someone to alter it for me! WOOHOO...something else to deal with.

I'm getting nervous. We have a lot to do and have 149 days left!!EEEEEK! I am ready to just scrap it and take my wedding dress and fiancee to Vegas. Lets go! (i just re read the previous posts about eloping...nice to know i'm not alone)

I have decided on calla lilies for flowers, and i'm working on cake this week. So, so so much to do!

I'm just as bad with the good day/bad day cycles. Oh well, at this point i'm just glad there are good days!!

junebug41
06-20-2008, 02:01 AM
Just checking in, making sure all the brides-to-be are still around...

We confirmed our officient today, which was huge relief. Really, I thought we were going to have to marry ourselves! We meet with the florist on Sunday and I'm dropping off my dress at the seamstress. And the wedding announcements are done.

Next up: sending out the invitations!

Where is everyone? Even if you've never posted, lurker brides-to-be, come out and say hello :)

Here's the pic we used:

clibrarian
06-20-2008, 10:09 AM
I am happy to report, I am DOWN another 3.4 lbs today. I am so thrilled!

The wedding stuff is really coming together. To date: I have my dress (though I have first fitting on 8/24, to hack away inches from it!), tuxs picked out, event place booked, food picked out, gifts for bridesmaids, invitations (to be sent out in about 2 weeks), JP lined up, bar/alcohol set up, wedding cupcakes picked out, small honeymoon in ME booked.

To do: write vows, pick music (we're having a friend DJ with an iPod) pick out favors (I am thinking some chocolates in a box, who doesn't like chocolate?), rental for speakers, order wedding bands!

Man, its really coming together-- a few months ago, I was much more stressed, but I really feel like a lot of it is going, dare I say, 'Well'???

I know that the month before the wedding, there will be so much to do-- down to the wire stuff, like seating charts, numerous fittings, escort cards and other 'details' that probably aren't even on my radar right now...

Shayrar
07-01-2008, 08:04 PM
Hi Everyone...I'm new here and thought I would post. I'm also planning a wedding and we're set to tie the knot on the 21st of February 2009. I wish everyone good luck on their journey!

NoVaVTFan
07-07-2008, 09:10 PM
Ok ladies I need some insight here. I will try to get to my point quickly.

I am getting married on October 12 - 3 short months. We are going to Hawaii for 2 weeks for our honeymoon which meant I had to buy new bathing suits - my old ones were way too big. I took the plunge and bought 2 bikinis. I tried wearing a bikini about 5 years ago (and it wasn't a pretty sight) and generally stay away from bathing suits. I don't go to any water in the summer and generally try to say inside because i burn very easily. So I had to buy new bathing suits for the honeymoon because I know we will be out on the beach. I really don't think I'm ready for a bikini - I am 5 feet, 135 pounds, and still have lots of loose flab and ugly veins and stretch marks, but with some encouraging from my fiancee I bought a couple of bikinis. I will most likely be covered by a shirt anyways under a umbrella because I don't like to sit directly in the sun, but nonetheless they are bikinis. I will also be buying a more supportive tankini for any water activities.

I guess my point is, does it seem ok to wear a bikini even though I know it won't be too pretty? It is really for my fiancee because he really thinks I should wear one and he says I look great in it. (His opinion of my body is much better than my own). I put on the bikini, and I see the flab on my stomach and think "wow I wouldn't want to look at that if I was someone else" but then I also like to think part of me doesn't care what other people think. I am trying to break out of my comfort zone clothing and fashion wise now that I've lost 53 pounds, and wearing a bikini is definitely out of my comfort zone. plus i'll only be in hawaii once so why not wear the 2 piece and go for it.

Do any of you have any opinions on this? I just want to see what other brides think. TIA

clibrarian
07-09-2008, 11:12 AM
Hi NoVaVTFan,

I think you should go for it. I bet you look totally fine in the 2 piece. And you know what? I bet no one will be looking at you and thinking you don't look anything less than totally cute in it.

Its funny how our loved ones often see us as more beautiful then we do. I have to work on that too. Maybe wearing the 2 piece will help you to overcome that.

GO FOR IT. I bet he'll think you look fantastic. And I bet you really do look fantastic in it!

clibrarian
07-18-2008, 09:20 AM
I am down another 2.2 lbs! Only 9 weeks to go to the wedding. I am hoping I come close to my goal of 165. I am feeling great! I just have to remain calm and keep on task and not sabotage myself! At least the 'official' vacations are over with this summer (in terms of going 'off plan').

shananigans
07-30-2008, 11:48 AM
Well, I'm no longer a bride to be, but thought I'd poke my head in anyway. I could have sworn I posted pix in here before but maybe the internet ate them? :o Guess I can re-post. Here's link (http://www.pierresportraitart.com/shows/Tervo-WeissWedding/) to a slideshow of the photos the professional photographer took, and here's a couple snapshots taken by friends (sorry about the huge size!)

http://photos-g.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v256/226/80/1067393192/n1067393192_73254_1729.jpg

http://photos-h.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v256/226/80/1067393192/n1067393192_73255_2078.jpg

http://photos.l3.facebook.com/photos-l3-sf2p/v258/166/8/1190916330/n1190916330_30089805_5244.jpg

http://photos-e.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v256/226/80/1067393192/n1067393192_73244_8420.jpg

NoVaVTFan - I also say go for the bikini! Who cares what everyone thinks, go have fun and feel hot and sexy on your honeymoon. :D

clibrarian - Sounds like you've just about got everything under control! These last few weeks will probably keep you mad busy anyway, but you are definitly in the home stretch now. Just remember to breathe from time to time.

"Hello" to all the other b2b. :wave:

ETA: I forgot to mention we finally booked our honeymoon, we're going to Punta Cana, Dominican Republic in February. It'll be a real treat to go to a beach resort in the middle of WI winter!

clibrarian
07-31-2008, 02:02 PM
shananigans-- you look GREAT! on your wedding day. It looks like you had a great sunny day too! We're planning on going on a more 'official' honeymoon in '09 too-- more vacation time then. Right after we get married, we're going to Monhegan Island off the coast of Maine for a few days. I can't wait!

Thanks for the words of encouragment. My goal is to get down into the 160s by the wedding-- which is on Sept 20th. Even if its 169. something, lady, I'd be over the moon about that. I think I can do it. I think it is a reasonable goal to loose 5 lbs in 7 weeks.

junebug41
07-31-2008, 02:14 PM
Clibrarian- Good luck in getting to your goal! I'm sure you will reach it!

We are in the winter honeymoon camp, too. We are taking a few days at a spa in the desert and then spending a couple of nights in Mesa Verde national park. Then in January, it's off to the islands!

3 weeks until the wedding and things have really picked up steam! I've been working out a lot and I'm on a pretty strict diet- I want to just enjoy myself that week without having to worry about my dress being too tight ;) I'm down to 138, but would like to be under 130. It's ambitious, so I won't be disappointed if it doesn't happen. I would rather just feel beautiful than freak about some silly number. mainly, I just want my arms to look good in my strapless dress!

It has been sooooo stressful the past few weeks with lots of drama. My MOH gained a lot of weight and now her dress won't zip :( and my mother has been a constant source of drama. I think everyone has realized that this wedding is going to happen our way whether they like it or not and they have calmed down. Our church made us do pre-marital counseling and it was so helpful. I had these crazy visions of that movie "License To Wed", but we got to choose who we went to and it was under our terms, thank God.

BoopRN
07-31-2008, 04:24 PM
Hey everyone,

Just wanted to add, I am another bride to be for July 2009! We are destined to be married in Las Vegas which is our vacation destination for the past 6 yrs! Its not going to be the stereotype Vegas wedding either we are going all out. Its a fun city where we want all of our friends and family to remember this occasion for a life time.

Silverstar33
07-31-2008, 04:59 PM
Hello,
I'm doing a destination wedding, too, Venice Italy. It's coming up awfully quick now, and I've come to realize I won't be able to hit my goal by then (disappointing but not devastating).

Funny thing happened, the other day my planner sent me an email asking my fiance and I if we'd do a MTV casting call. Apparently the show True Lives is doing an episode on destination weddings, and they liked our profile. Considering I picked the destination wedding because I don't really like the whole center of attention thing, I don't think we're going to do it.

Anyways, happy planning!

clibrarian
08-15-2008, 11:19 AM
I'm down another 3.4 lbs today! Maybe next week, I can be in the 160s! Wedding is 5 weeks away! HOORAY!

shananigans
08-18-2008, 11:52 AM
Woohoo! Keep up the good work clibrarian :cp:

junebug41
08-19-2008, 04:10 PM
I'm off to my hometown for my WEDDING this weekend! Woo hoo!

I will report back with pics. I'm SO excited and it looks like we may pull this thing off ;)

Lafayette
08-20-2008, 08:17 AM
Hi guys! Thought I'd pop in and see how everyone is doing! At the end of September, we'll be married six months... Oh, and, since we're counting, I've gained 10 pounds. Yikes!

Shan- awesome pictures- what a beautiful day and a beautiful bride!

Jen- Good luck!

Everyone- married life rocks!

junebug41
08-25-2008, 09:13 PM
Hi everyone!

I am now married- woo hoo! The wedding was overall fabulous. I as super stressed and exhausted up until I started getting ready and then I was calm and happy. I tried hard to realize that something would go wrong and to just let go it sure did, but it didn't matter. It was a beautiful, sunny, perfectly imperfect day. My snafus:

*I twisted my ankle the night before! I couldn't walk at all and just iced and wrapped it. I had to forgo the heels I was going to wear and instead wore white isotoner slippers. This meant that my dress was too long and I really had to focus on not falling on my face ;) It felt better the more I danced, though!

*Moments before I walked down the aisle, I noticed a pollen stain on my dress. But hey, it was orange, which was one of my colors ;) By then, someone could have splattered paint on me and I wouldn't have cared.

Here's our first pics off a friend's camera. Can't wait to post more!

clibrarian
08-26-2008, 10:41 AM
Junebug!!!! you look so beautiful!!!! HOORAY!!!! Congratulations! What a great perfect day. You really lucked out weather wise--

You look so tiny and fabulous.

shananigans
08-26-2008, 03:54 PM
What gorgeous pictures junebug! You are both just radiating happiness. :D I found that by the time the day arrived anything could have happened and I would have happily carried on without a care, it really is all the planning and pre-wedding stuff that's stressful. Hope your ankle is all better, and thanks for sharing.

BoopRN
08-26-2008, 04:01 PM
Junebug you look wonderful, great pics! Where did you go on your honeymoon?

Enygirl
08-31-2008, 02:47 PM
Hey girls - can i join in for awhile??? My "Fiance" and I (just officially proposed last weekend) set our date - October 4th, 2008... yes 5 weeks away!!! I'd really LOVE to lose #10 by then - so that I can be in the #170's when I get married! I'm going to have to push like never before! I've been stuck between #189 and #186 for over a MONTH! But I know most of it is slacking off, and not eating well - and not exercising regularly.

As for the wedding - we're have literally max of 10 people at the ceremony:
Preist, Us, my DD, My mom, step-dad, dad, step-mom, sister, neice, BFF, His mom and sister... and that's it. Then we're going to have a bigger reception. We're doing it in Joe's mom's backyard, and we're wearing jeans. I'm not a girly girl - and more then likely the only one that'll be in a dress is going to be my daughter because she IS a COMPLETE girly girl! (who'd have thought that'd happen. :))

Ok - that's all for me for now... I'll check in and post. I'm going to go back through and see how everyone else here is doing too.

:D :love: :val2: :D

clibrarian
09-11-2008, 09:24 AM
Well, the wedding is 9 days away-- and today I weighed in at:
168.8-- HOORAY-- I am in the last 'decade' and less than 4 lbs away from goal!!! I am so happy. I have worked so hard. Maybe I'll lose another pound in a week, or not-- I think 3.8 lbs away from my goal is pretty darn good!

Rhfrank
09-16-2008, 11:50 AM
Hi Ladies-

I'm new around here! Just wanted to say hello and meet other Brides. I'm getting married on April 25th 2009.

So hi, and looking forward to being around for a while!

clibrarian
09-30-2008, 10:16 AM
Well the wedding went great. And I was down at either 167 or 165, depending on the scale. We had a beautiful day, it couldn't have gone any better!

junebug41
09-30-2008, 11:48 AM
Congrats on getting to goal clibrarian! I'm glad the wedding went well :)

Skinnybride
12-30-2008, 08:18 PM
hey girls so i was married in June pic below since then i've gained back whati had lost so i'm back and determined to loose it and keep it off
http://a984.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/75/l_f1d6a2878d532a2336284f79d89f8107.jpg

walker
05-03-2012, 01:23 AM
:snooty:Hello:

I am so happy I joined a forum to help. I am getting married in October of this year. We are having a beach style wedding. I need to lose some WT! I am great at quick wt loss, but this is my first time trying to do it the right way while eating. LOL.

Current Wt: 206:barf:
Goal Wt: 185:cloud9:

My Goals:
No food after 6pm:nono:
No soda:nono:
No candy or chips:nono:

Walker

Thedollylala
05-19-2012, 09:34 AM
We need to get this thread going again I'm a bride to be my wedding is in march of 2013, cw is 225 gw for the wedding is 150 gotta fit into this gem


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v19/cherryflvrdgum/0d5d270b.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v19/cherryflvrdgum/26e75ff2.jpg