LA Weight Loss - November 2007 The Beck Diet Solution

11-03-2007, 05:31 AM
The Beck Diet Solution is a psychological program, not a food plan. It provides a step-by-step program to learn specific techniques to stay on our diet, lose weight, and maintain our weight loss for life. The program is based on Dr. Beck's clinical research in Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT).

There are no eating plans, calorie counts, recipes or exercises; according to Beck, any healthy diet will work if we learn to think differently about eating and food. Beck's book is like an extended therapy session with a diet coach.

This is a place to chat about our daily efforts and, for some of us, serves as an on-line diet coach.

The book, The Beck Diet Solution, is available on Amazon through the 3FC store:

Previous Beck threads on 3FC:

October 2007 October 2007 The Beck Diet Solution
September 2007 September 2007 The Beck Diet Solution
August 2007 The Beck Diet Solution August 2007
July 2007 The Beck Diet Solution July 2007
May 2007 (Original) The Beck Diet Solution - support group?

11-03-2007, 05:53 AM
ē Made a NO CHOICE response card.

ē My eating rules:

o Eat a substantial amount of protein, vegetables, and fruit at every meal.
o Avoid processed foods and foods with added sugar
o When eating out, eat up to 25% more than I do at home. Weddings 50% more.
o Eat 3 or 4 snacks each day between my three meals.

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Completed Beck Program-day 16. 26 to go. Keep going!

11-03-2007, 06:43 AM
At FREE lunch yesterday, the chili was served as a cup size instead of the pint size I had planned. So, I went to Plan B and had one hot dog with it as well as a huge salad (a welcome surprise!). The hot dog served the part of me that doesn't want to permanently ban any specific food from my life, but to eat mindfully from a wide variety. I did, however, specifically pass on the cake, the popcorn, and the Pepsi.

That was a new experience for me because I've never had a single hot dog in my life. I've always had at least two. Even so, if I were more advanced in Intuitive Eating, I could have ditched the last half of the hot dog after I'd satisfied my desire to taste it. However, discarding food just because I don't need to eat it is still way way beyond my current spiritual development.

Got in a nice long walk after work. Made it to Whole Foods to get more roasted soy nuts for snacks and to the Indian foods store to get some Nan that DW likes.

Sue - LOL at you eating "completely alone in a barren room in order not to do old habits." :D

Your story of the potato chips certainly rings true for me. Such a good reminder of how a desire can turn into eating, even when you are actively working your Beck strategies. I don't have any wise advice for that situation, but perhaps DH could keep the bag tactfully placed out of your sight.

I admire your determination to be both your social self and a mindful eater. I'm convinced that there's a combination of the Beck strategies that's going to work for you. Good luck in your continued search.

Bethany - Hope you are having a relaxed and fun weekend.

Readers - May your weekend be filled with that activity you want.

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Completed Beck Program-day 16. 26 to go. Keep going!

11-03-2007, 09:58 PM
Hi BillBlueEyes and everyone else

billBlueEyes nice start to this thread by explaining the focus of this place plus showing all the old months sites. Thanks for letting me quickly find the new thread. - I do not know how to start new thread, post pic ect.

My Dh loves hot dogs and we have found at Trader Joes 97% fat free ones by Hebrew National so they are only 40 cals a piece I think- He enjoys them and I find them ok and tend to eat a couple of them with no buns. sound like you did well at the lunch at work-yeah for them having a salad to fill in the hunger spots.

I have been pondering a possible behavorial way when dealing with becoming so filled with cravings when around some food without white knuckling it. It may be one of those slippery slopes but there is a rebelious kid in me when it comes to NO CHOICE sometimes. If I have gone through a number of strategies and still am craving possessed, I am working on taking a very small amount. chewing mindfully, savorying every bite and then let the rest go. May be a bit like you wishing you ate just eating half of hot dog. It is hugh step for me to stop when aroung processed foods. I did today around some coffee cake-enjoyed and quickly stopped and added the cals to preplanned food for the day. I knew there is a chance that 5-10 bites a day will add 400 cals. That is good thing to recording everything for me.

I used to be a smoker and sometimes it was the first puff that was the most important. The rest of cig was just habit.

Good new for me is that I have lost the extra lbs gained and went to a health fair in our community today and my blood sugars are excellent, and my blood pressure is way down-yeah to losing 55 lbs and exercising much more.

to getting and staying healthy


11-04-2007, 06:22 AM
ďIn order to successfully lose weight and keep it off, you have to stop eating when youíve eaten the amount of food on your plan.Ē

ē At dinner at home, I cut my serving of ham in half, put half in the fridge for my lunch the next day. That was easy. Ham wasnít wasted. Ham was still mine.
ē At dinner at home, I ate exactly one serving of dal (spicy lentil soup) even though it was VERY good and only a half serving was left in the pot. Easy enough. Leftover in the fridge for DW to grab for her lunch.

Challenges to do:
ē Leave food on my plate to be wasted at a restaurant when itís not practical to take a doggie bag. (I have a bonus allocation, per Beck, for restaurants that will accommodate, for example, a restaurant sized portion of grilled salmon, but will not accommodate that PLUS their serving size of crab stuffing AND appetizer AND bread dipped in olive oil.)
ē Leave food on my plate to be wasted that isnít on my eating plan (like mashed potatoes with rich gravy served at a friendís house).
ē Leave food on my plate at home that will be wasted (e.g. too little to save, not reheatable, or we canít use before it spoils).
ē Leave a portion of a steak.
ē Leave a portion of an expensive dessert that came with the meal (e.g. at a banquet).

Help !!!!!!!!!!!
Has anybody left food on their plate at a restaurant that they would be willing to share? I could use some help on this one. It seems impossible to me. Perhaps some non-Beck person has a success with this.

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Completed Beck Program-day 17. 25 to go. Keep going!

11-04-2007, 07:13 AM
Saw "Donnie Darko" last night. Apparently I'm the only person on planet earth who wasn't already into the Donnie Darko cult. A good mind bender. Reminder of teenage angst.

Plan is to get to the gym today and to take a long walk including the farmer's market. Only a couple of weeks left for the farmer's market. It makes me miss the summer bounty. They'll have winter squash, apples, kale, and perhaps some remnant corn.

Sue - Thanks for the tip on Hebrew National hot dogs, I'll have to try those.

Congratulations on you coffee cake bite-and-stop, that's a big one. I'm sending you my best thoughts of support as you search for the right strategy for your cravings.

Big whooohooo for your blood sugars and blood pressure :carrot: Nice to see the payoff for your efforts to exercise and to lose the 55 pounds.

Bethany - Hope all is going well. May the sun shine on you when you're outdoors today.

Strangers in the night - May you have a peaceful and mindful Sunday.

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Completed Beck Program-day 17. 25 to go. Keep going!

11-04-2007, 12:37 PM

A quick note as we need to go shopping which for us is a 4 hr round trip just to get to the stores and return home. Add a couple hrs to actually shop.

billblueeye-I must thank you for continuing to post-having this site stay working has been so helpful for me-I live so rurally I just can't find much of a support system with in an hr drive. I feel so much better now that I am back in control of eating and putting much more healthy foods and amounts in my body. It is happier also as I have lost over 4 lbs quickly-I know much of water but still nice not to have that weight on my arthritic joints.

We will be eating at least lunch out and I will be pondering your challengs. I am even tying the inability to toss food when I am done with keeping alot of unused but "valuable" items in our home. I'd call us organized pack rats-yet our life would be so much easier-more space, easier to clean house and storage areas, easier to orgainze and find the stuff we do have and use regularly-not that hunting for where did we put it.

I know the depression has a hugh effect on my parents-whose families truly went without and even lost their home. Is there even a bit of trickle down fugility for us? Does even that free food ties into that must take advantage of that. Even my skinny Dh eats rather complusively then. We very rarely drink at a bar or even at a resturante. Why pay $9.00 for a glass of wine when we can get a bottle for that price at the grocery store.

Get back to you later

folks do join us in exchanging ideas,-you successes and challenges.


ps what is danny darko? movie? We don't even newpaper delivery up here to I read that paper on line.

11-04-2007, 09:58 PM
Bill & Sue: Things seem to be going well for both of you. It is great that you are meeting up to your challenges.

Re: Donnie Darko: What a fun movie. It is totally messed up. I really enjoyed it and my husband is a huge fan. It came out in 2001 and definitely has quite the cult following.

My absent weekend:
I fell off the wagon. I did really well Thursday and Friday during the day. (I even threw away half a serving of delicious chili when I realized that it was going to cause me to go way over calories for the day.) Then there was unpredictability. Which I apparently do not do so well with. As soon as I got home my husband and I hopped in the car and headed to his family's house. I hadn't eaten anything in awhile so when we stopped at the gas station I went inside to grab a healthy snack. I ended up with a bag of combos. I hadn't had them in a long time and they made me kind of nostalgic (weird, right?). So I justified the purchase by saying that I would eat a serving and then be done with them. Well, I am not ready for that yet. So I ate too many. We went out to dinner. I ordered chicken parmesan. I ate maybe a third of it and took the rest home. When I got home I decided I didn't like it very much so threw it out.
But something inside me was like screw Beck. lol. I can let lose a little today. (Did I mention I didn't read my response cards before dinner because we were around people?) It basically all added up to yesterday where I lived off of mini candy bars left over from Halloween and pizza. I am not proud of this, but it has made me realize a couple things:
1. I have to read my response cards. I am going to keep a hard copy at home on note cards and then put a copy of everything in my PDA so I don't have to feel self-conscious about pulling out a stack of index cards.
2. I have to post here and in the other groups that I frequent. It keeps me accountable.
3. I have to write down everything that I eat. If I don't I can conveniently forget the first five no-nos and follow them with another five.
4. I need to take a couple day and focus completely on Days 1-7 before I move on. Excitement can only carry you so far. I need to get those ideas stuck in my head before adding more to it.
5. I have to ask my husband to hide the candy from me. I cannot do just one. I know that if I completely refrain from something I will have fewer cravings for that something than I would if I had a single taste of it.

I am not proud of my weekend, but I am proud of myself for learning something from it. In the past I would have disappeared from this discussion because I am embarrassed and don't want to have to admit that I screwed up. So there's one success anyway. :)

Sorry for the novel. :o I just had to get it all out there.
I will be posting tomorrow. :yes:


11-05-2007, 02:32 AM
Hi guys,

good for you Bethany to exam it all-i so understand that feeling of screw any diet rules-I feel like I have a rebelious kid in me-too bad this kid has done such health damage in my body. It has been quite a process for me to change eating habits and even bigger to realize all the ways which "distract" me from heathy amounts of food. I have tons of set backs but over all i am thinner and healthier even tho i have a ways to go still. So glad you are posting.
Beck has these short chapters with some exercises and I went thur it with a couple of months-but now I am slowly repeating them and I working on dealing with cravings and desire for weeks and will be there for quite a while.
Like all of you ideas to focus on-One of the biggest helps for me in our very healthy food environment at home-honestly I can hear processed food call to me. I often can't go into fast food store-send DH in for me to get some low cal item. All of DH treats are hidden in the garage.
writing down eaten foods has really help me learn cal counts-and how to make choices-I do eat less trying to stay in a cal count.
I love your postive attitude-learning from our "slip ups" is a powerful tool for change.
take care

11-05-2007, 05:23 AM
If you canít easily take a moderate to brisk walk after a meal, it means youíve eaten too much and you might have an unrealistic definition of fullness.

ē Will carefully monitor eating to ďnormal fullnessĒ at a potluck meeting tonight where I have a history of continuing to eat because we sit at the table with the food.

ē Will carefully monitor ďnormal fullnessĒ this Thanksgiving.

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Completed Beck Program-day 18. 24 to go. Keep going!

11-05-2007, 06:25 AM
Had to wear a jacket yesterday. Bought Brussels Sprouts at the farmers' market; there is no more corn. Summer might be over. There must be someday a level of spiritual enlightenment where I don't fight the passage of summer. I'm clearly not there now. :)

Bought a persimmon to try. Boy did it ever make my mouth feel weird. I wonder why people eat them.

Good leftovers are available for lunches this week: big batch of kale and collards (from DW's garden) with feta cheese, and a big batch of spaghetti with tomato sauce. Makes life easy.

Sue - You can read the Wikipedia description of Donnie Darko,, or here:
Bethany's description, "It is totally messed up." is as good as any. It's a cult thing, not something to put high on your list.

Tying clutter with tossing food is a new idea for me to ponder. You may have something there.

Good luck with your continued confrontation of the cravings, "I can hear processed food call to me". Beck is encouraging that our resistance muscle will get stronger.

Bethany - Re: "But something inside me was like screw Beck." My take is that your rebellious side shows your strength that will serve you well to keep to the healthy lifestyle that will contribute to feeling good about yourself and to losing weight. In one paragraph you covered almost all of Program-day 19 that I'm just reading. Maybe you're just a little ahead of yourself. :)

Your response to "falling off the wagon" is a great example for me. Most important, for me, is to see you keep a level headed positive attitude about yourself. That seems to be what Beck is always trying to get us to do, so that we have our full selves available to learn from our actions and to plan our next actions. You have my utmost respect for the way you're handling this situation.

We saw Donnie Darko as a play at the ART in Cambridge. It was creatively staged in one complex setting, 80 minutes without an intermission. It was compelling, and moving. We though we maybe, sorta understood because of good program notes, but had a more complex lack of understanding after reading the links above and watching the trailer. When DW and I discussed it you'd think we'd been to two different plays. If we see the movie will we understand?

Discarding the Chicken Parmesan wins the award for discarding restaurant food. :) I haven't done that yet. :(

Readers - May you be warm enough today to be comfortable, and comfortable enough with yourself to stay on program.

Help - What do you do with a persimmon?

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Completed Beck Program-day 18. 24 to go. Keep going!

11-05-2007, 12:50 PM

BillblueEyes-Yesterday I also was saying good by to summer-we did have a great clear warm day but the days are so much short-just had the change in time so now the sun set even an hr earlier.

Persimmons- I have used in baking-sadly adding sugar as they are so tart-never have been able to eat plain-

Yesterday we ate out with family-+granchildren. It was at Chili"s -hugh glossy picture of food for the menu, portions which were so big, and each dish seemed to have ton of cal. The guiltess grilled started at 490 cal for fish and then went up. I decided on the salad and even the "grilled chicken on the salad was breaded. Dressing on the side BUT i forget to ask for low or no cal dressing. They may not have had it, but should have asked. The whole fast, busy, noisy place with tons of food about-seemed geared to create a want for a feeding frienzy with in me.

Question: Does any one know about packets of low cal dressing which I could keep in the car? Full fat dressing is cal killer. But I find salads with no dressing boring.

We got caught up with everything and each order our own thing-But often we do order and split one dinner or portion with an extra salad. In the beginnig we felt like we might look "cheap"-but we could have the correct amount and not worry about left over. I focus on the extra salad and DH order his desser and I would a very small portion of the dessert while the skinny guy could enjoy the extra cals. I know people who have had the stomach surgery who have a card which they can use to get the children portion due to small stomach. i guess eating half a meal is our way coping with me needing reduced cals.

Leaving or throwing out unhealthy foods in not a waste!-Sometime I feel like some food increase my addiction-kind of like is wrong of an alcoholic to throw out a beer? I am working on the idea that some food is not really food for me, but an addictive substance.

take care

11-05-2007, 09:27 PM
Sue: Have you considered using salsa on your salads instead of salad dressing? I think that most places would have it and it is definitely a healthier way to go than the full fat stuff. I've done this a few time and I enjoyed it.
As far as packets of salad dressing.. I have never seen them anywhere, but they must be for sale somewhere because fast food restaurants use them. I wonder if a place like Costco or Sam's Club would carry them.

Bill: Donnie Darko as a play would be pretty interesting. I'm not sure if seeing the movie would explain anything further. It really is a mind-bender. Regarding Persimmons: I know nothing about them. It makes me want to try new fruit though. I love trying new things.

My day has been fine. I was leaps and bounds better than I was over the weekend. I spent 8 hours with a candy dish on my desk. I have a couple pieces of hard candy and that is it.
I've got a tender arm because I got my flu shot today. I researched it because someone told me that everyone they know got sick after getting it. Since I work with so many high-risk people (I work at a mental health center and a lot of the people aren't in that great of physical health either) I decided that the benefits out-weigh the risks.

Talk to you all later. :)


11-05-2007, 09:29 PM
Sue: Check out for mini-salad dressings. :)

11-06-2007, 05:12 AM
From Beck:Dieters have an amazing ability to delude themselves about food. They may be rational and reasonable in other ways, but not when it comes to dieting. Ö

Some self deluding sabotaging thoughts:

Itís OK to eat this because Ö

o Itís not a whole piece.
o Iíll eat it only this one time.
o Itís not that fattening.
o Iíll make up for it by eating less later.
o It wonít matter.
o I paid for it.
o Itíll go to waste.
o Iíll disappoint someone if I donít.
o Everyone else is eating it.
o Iím celebrating.
o No one will see me eating it.
o Itís just the crumbs.
o Itís free.
o I really want it.
o Itís a special occasion.
o Iím upset, and I just donít care.
o Iím craving it, and Iíll probably just eat it eventually.

Itís not OK to eat unplanned foods of any kind. Iím just fooling myself. Ö If I want to lose excess weight and keep it off, I absolutely must stop fooling myself.

Iím doing well with many on this list, but need to focus on:

o I paid for it.
o Itíll go to waste.
o Itís just the crumbs.

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Completed Beck Program-day 19. 23 to go. Keep going!

11-06-2007, 06:25 AM
Get to vote this morning. City council and school board are being elected. If I'm in line at 6:50am there's no wait.

At a potluck last night, I ate on plan, avoided the desserts. :) Then, when cleaning up, snarfed down the last four cocktail shrimp rather than throw them away. Arrrrrrrrgh :mad: As Beck would say, I'm fooling myself. Done by a guy who just claimed to have completed program-day 19. Oh Well.

Sue - LOL at your description of Chilli's. That describes many of the chain restaurants - menus with killer pictures of food yelling "Eat me, eat me."

Perhaps you can invent a card for the rest of us, saying something like, "Doctor prescribes children's portion for Human Being eating mindfully." You could sell them on eBay to the zillion or so people on diets.

Bethany - Thanks for the link for mini portions. DW likes the individual mayonnaise packets so she can have tuna salad sandwiches when out hiking on hot summer days. Might also try Sue's idea of bringing my own single serving dressing when eating where my choices might be limited.

DD told me that the Donnie Darko movie "had been out forever," that she had the DVD and would lend it to me next time she comes over. So, I'll get to find out if it helps.

Flu shot for me, also, next week. I fit into the recommended group: seriously ill, chronically ill, hospitalized, infirm, insane, perverted, or over 50. Reminds me that until recently medical schools taught the course "Pregnancy and other Female Diseases." (Apparently, allowing more women into med schools fixed that one.)

Good news that you're back on track. Eight hours in front of a candy dish is more than I could do.

Readers - May you find one specific occasion today to Stop Fooling Yourself at some little eating opportunity.

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Completed Beck Program-day 19. 23 to go. Keep going!

11-06-2007, 02:29 PM
Hi to everyone

Bethany thanks for the web site-planning on ordering some packets. Very impressed with coping with a candy dish for 8 hrs a day-can you get extra hazard pay for working near toxic but addicting stuff? Glad you feeling the success of being in control.
BillBlueEyes-thanks for the voting reminder -for us it is just a school board elections so that has not been much ads about and I forgot. Boy resisting those cute little low cal shrimps to be toss would have been a toughie for me also.

That Beck-the list is straight out of my brain-uuck Kind of scary to see all of my food "logic" look sooo stupid. My biggies are I'll eat less later, I AM celebrating or at least today has been so crummy I deserve some type of celebration. A hugh one- I am upset and I don't care. I think alot of my behaviors are an attempt to raise my dopamines-or at least have a sugar rush that can give a quick artificial shot of "feeling better" I am sure that any addictive behaviors have the root of a person trying to feel better about themselves.

Yep I need a card that read-Must have children size portions or soon will be unable to fit in your booth and can never return here again.
That one resturant has more people in it than if all the resturants in our area were filled -this includes a 20 miles stretch of highway 1. We do like our slower pace at times.

Had a very tough emotional day yesterday-the good news -really big for me is that I didn't use food or drink to change emotions. I have been reading about power of mediatation and looking at how we construct our own emotional response to life's challenges. So much of my reactions are based on ancient history-really not relevant now-but the feelings return as if the past and it's pain were today.

I have not be able to swim due a very annoying and long term sinus infection-That outdoor pool is such a cool temp when the days stay in the 50's. So i have started kind of silly exercise dvd. I am glad to be moving but it is so corny i hate it.

take care you two
Other folks please join us this changing eating habits is a tough but powerful process.

11-07-2007, 05:08 AM
from Beck:
Itís destructive to continue to eat in an unplanned way for the rest of the day just because you ate something that wasnít on your food plan.

Get Back on Your Diet Now.

If youíre tempted to keep on eating when you know you shouldnít, do the following:

ē Acknowledge your initial slip.
ē Recommit yourself to your diet.
ē Draw a symbolic line. Öright here where I stop this unplanned eating.
ē Give yourself credit for stopping - at any point.
ē Watch out for feelings of failure and helplessness.
ē Continue to eat normally.
ē Learn from your mistake. 

The business of feelings of failure for eating something off plan is the big one for me here.

If I counter that, then all of me is available to draw the line, eat normally, climb right back on my horse, and learn from my mistake.  

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Completed Beck Program-day 20. 22 to go. Keep going!

11-07-2007, 05:55 AM
Still smarting a bit about gobbling down those four last shrimp the other day. Four shrimp is small calories, not a problem, but it exposes my sabotaging thinking.

Sabotaging Thought: Discarding unneeded food is wasting , but eating unneeded food is not wasting.

Helpful Response: I can avoid wasting food by putting it in the gas tank of my car. [ /sarcasm] This will, of course, destroy the engine, but I can replace the car. I can't replace my body.

Just boggles my mind that I could NEVER put shrimp in my old worn out Volvo, but have no problem just dumping it down my throat.

Ate on plan yesterday. Dinner was pan grilled tilapia, Oyster Mushrooms, Buttercup Squash with Macintosh Apple, Brussels Sprouts, all but tilapia from the farmersí markets. Honeydew melon for snack Ė good enough not great - the season is OVER, time to quit buying them.

Sue - LOL at your "Must have children size portions or soon will be unable to fit in your booth and can never return here again."

I hear your struggling with emotions. BIG congratulations for avoiding using food for instant comfort. When you note that the emotions are from the past, you remind me of a favorite Faulkner quote: "The past is never dead. It's not even past."

Bethany - Hope you are having a good day. I still shudder every time I think of facing a dish of candy for eight hours. :( I like the idea of demanding time and a half for facing a dish of hard candies, double time for facing a dish of dark chocolate. :)

Readers - May you stay the course. And when you falter, may you Draw a symbolic line and immediately get back on your horse.

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Completed Beck Program-day 20. 22 to go. Keep going!

11-07-2007, 10:46 PM
Hi folks,

billblueEyes- remember your own posting about watching out for dealing on negative feelings of failures and the need to give yourself credit for stopping.

While remaining on my food plan- I am now reading working on a book dealing with using meditation to fight depression. He had a great story about a man who was to be served a great treat- an unusual fish which was a real delicacy- the man focused on every bit and found the meal unbelieveable good. Turned out he was not served the unusual fish but a more common type-but because he had been so mindful he enjoyed each bite unlike before when he would eat a meal mindlessly.
I have been focusing on being mindful and not ruminating about some emotional stuff. I have increased mindfulness in doing my handcrafts, chores and really been enjoy my food and wine. I actually can feel full on 500 cals or so for dinner. Really feel I am so obese due to stuffing myself to deal with negative feelings. We were rasied in an very anxious family with lots of stress-both of my older brothers are also over 300lb. Eating was an ok thing to do to calm oneself.

Right now my focus is doing the mindful activities in my current book-It is such an important tool for me that I feel I'll be so much will be better both emotional and health wise by paying attention-

We have had no company nor eaten out since Sunday-The diet has gone just great. I think we may have similair menusBillBlueEyes-the bulk of our veggies is from a local organic farm. Friday a couple should be up here for the 3 day weekend-Here is when the real challenge for me will start.


11-08-2007, 05:06 AM
from Beck:On any given day, the number on the scale is exactly what it should be, given what you ate, how much energy you expended in the last few days, the amount of fluid your body retains, and other biological influences.

Donít expect your weight to down every week - it wonít.

If the number on the scale doesnít go down Ė or doesnít go down much Ė and you suspect youíve been eating too much, donít waste time blaming yourself and having negative thoughts. Consider what you might be doing wrong and do something positive to solve the problem.

Plot your weight on a graph.

ē This is an easy step for me, since Iíve been recording my daily weight for two years now. I enter it into Excel which plots the graph. Looking at that graph is a great motivator.

ē Beck, like many others, recommends tracking weekly weight, so I also estimate my weight each Sunday by eye balling the scale readings for the last week. I record and plot that separately. During my losing period, this weekly filtering of the weigh ins allowed me to see the steady lose within the wiggling numbers and isolated me from the negative feelings of seeing a gain during a week of on plan eating and exercising.

ē After I my weight remained at 158 for several months, I assumed that to be my maintenance weight.

ē My weight has been holding for eight months now cycling in a six pound range beneath my maintenance weight.

ē I really like that, one more time, Beck emphasizes: Donít blame, take action.  
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Completed Beck Program-day 21. 21 to go. Keep going!

11-08-2007, 06:02 AM
I didnít get to walk at lunch yesterday and CRAVED not walking in the evening because I was leaving work late, it was dark due to recent fall back from daylight savings time, and I just didnít feel like it. Then, drum roll, insight Aha !!! I recognized these as Sabotaging Thoughts.

After I labeled it, I knew what to do. Clicked into Helpful Responses: Went over my Advantages Card (from memory) as I drove home. Thought about previously being winded when taking the stairs. Thought about the negative feelings Iíd have for wimping out with such lame excuses and the heroic feelings I'd have if I did walk after all this thinking about. Even had the thought that I would post my success to my on-line diet coaches. <Thank you diet coaches>.

So, committed seriously to at least a half walk, with strong intentions to do the whole thing.

Then went for a good hour long 4 mile walk on my favorite urban path.

I felt disappointment when the scale read 155 this morning Ė expecting no less than the 153 of the past four days Ė maybe 152 due to an on plan day. Good opportunity to practice todayís step Prepare to Weigh In, which, for me, means: Donít get wrapped up in the short-term scale readings; take action on the trend. OK, self: Give yourself credit that the scale reads right in the 6 pound band it has for eight months; you're on track. Get over that addiction to seeing the weight drop off. That part is so over.

Remembered to update the duration of my maintenance from six to eight months in my 3FC user profile. I do admire the 3FC folks here with several years of maintenance.

Sue - Thanks for the reminder to avoid the negative thinking and to give myself credit. Went to my journal and did that.

Great to hear your continued efforts on mindful activities and using meditation as a response to emotions.

Good luck on your upcoming 3 day weekend. I'll be sending positive thoughts your way each day, thinking of you combining the social and mindful eating parts of yourself.

Bethany - [ font = diet coach] Check in, we miss you. [ /font] :)

Hope all is going well.

Good guys all - May your scale reading be pleasing this week, and may your response to it be without blame.

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Completed Beck Program-day 21. 21 to go. Keep going!

11-08-2007, 05:56 PM
Hi everyone,

Billblueeyes- good to hear that you are mindful of your successes-envy you urban walks-At times walking and window shopping sounds like fun-plus you can it after dark-Those annoying scale days-Sometimes following the food plan is so easy other times I am so hunger/craving/lusting-then when I stay on the plan I want to lose 2-3 lbs just because it was so much hard work the days before. The lower blood pressure and sugar count was a great reminder of healthy success even if the scales are going down so slowly for me. I am rather anxious to get out of 300s. Think my age and slow mobility due to the arthritis really slows the loss.

I have done the quick fixes-optifast, atikin and always regained-Pleased that the 55 have stayed off and I am working on losing the next 5 lbs. I post my graph of weight loss on Fitday. It does help to see the past successes. The good new is that the line is NOt going up only down.

Got a call and definitely company is coming-thoughtfully they are bring food but much of the treats I will not be eating. Got plans for lots of salad to fill up on-
Sometimes I find limiting my food kind of boring-wanted to stop by a mexican food place and pick up something to go-knew I couldn't get any thing which I knew for sure would be about 350 cals for lunch- It is so hard to eat out I can never be sure of cal count and how much fat was used in preparing the dish. Just a bit of whining-thanks for reading. I guess I can use food for entertainment value-sort of amazing with many people in the world are underfed and I want my food to "fun", "easy" and "interesting". We are such a rich nation.
The weather is cold, foggy, and dreary and I think my mood is matching the outdoors. But a hugh success-I am eating according to plan(even if it is boring)!!!!!

Much success to all- hope the sun is shinning where you are

11-09-2007, 06:09 AM
from the Beck DIET Solution:You canít stop your sabotaging thoughts from arising, but you can respond to them. When you notice such thoughts as
Itís not fair that I canít eat this,
orThere must be an easier way,
just say to yourself, Oh, Well. Or, in other words, I donít like this but Iím going to accept it and move on.

Doing so eliminates the struggle, helps you feel better, and allows you to focus your attention elsewhere.

This is absolutely one of my favorite Beck strategies. I just love it.
It works for me when I make a choice to avoid a food I crave.
It works for me to accept that I didn't get to the gym as I had planned.
It even worked for me yesterday when I felt a funk because I was missing a party because I had chosen to attend an event.

Perhaps Cognitive Behavior Therapy was really invented by Crosby Stills, Nash, and Young:
There's a rose
In a fisted glove
And the eagle flies with the dove
And if you can't be with the one you love
It's alright
Go ahead and love the one, love the one, love the one you're with.

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Completed Beck Program-day 22. 20 to go. Keep going!

11-09-2007, 06:47 AM
I ate well today including a meal sized bowl of miso rammen soup for dinner at a Japanese restaurant. I tipped the waitress more than 20% just because she was obese Ė as a small step to work on my own prejudice toward fat people (despite having been one most of my adult life).

Thank you Volumetrics people for reminding me how much soup makes me feel full.

Ate a Bosc Pear for evening snack. It was sweet and also crispy like an apple. The crispy was different than the smooth feel of the Bartlett Pears we usually eat. So this is a good reminder to keep exploring new foods.

"Hungry/craving/lusting" Sue - What a wonderful image you paint of yourself :D

Glad that the pounds continue to drop, even if slow for your wishes. Might be time for an Oh, Well .

Great idea to continue to fight boring in your food choices. Seems to me that one of the great ideas is to always choose food you really love. This requires exploring new foods to have healthy choices in the calorie range of your plan. Is Eating Well Magazine expanding your food choices?

Bethany - Did Crosby Stills, Nash, and Young disappear long long ago or have you heard their Love the One you're With. Just writing down the lyrics gave me an earworm that I'll have all day.

Hope all is going well.

Readers - May all your choices be on plan today. And may you Oh, Well the roads not taken.

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Completed Beck Program-day 22. 20 to go. Keep going!

11-09-2007, 01:27 PM
Happy Friday everyone,

Just loved the quote from that great song-heard the tune in my mind-I played great old classic rock and roll all day yesterday to change my mood-even DH said it made the day more fun.

Like hearing what thoughts work for you to "forgive " your self. For me the self judging between who I think I am and who I think I should be which causes a great deal of disappointment and guilt for me- This recrimination is often the basis for an deep low grade depression-I am really focusing on trying to determine what am i feeling so I can face that feeling-recgonize it is only a feeling and most likely not a realistic pic of who I am. I Am learning that eating is Not the solution to releasing a feeling and getting some new skills to get on with my day with calm Surprise, surprise I have lost 4 lbs.

BillBlueEyes-you are amazing -your weight loss, changes in eating, and focus to doing The beck book-feel your successes. Thank you so much for your continue posting-I thank you for being my diet coach.

I love the mag eating well, and in general enjoy cooking and doing new foods-There is bit of a spoiled girl who wants a maid and cook to come in and take care of me for a couple days every once awhile. We very rarely eat out-so few places and rather expensive. Any way had one of those whiney days yesterday-today back to being a domestic goddess again. Already got my cardo moving furniture vacuuming and getting ready for guests.

While I do post what I eat on Fitday- when we have company or visiting family it would be great to have some thing to record and calculate the cals of what I am eating or drinking on the spot. -something small and handheld so I could keep up with what I am consuming-sometimes I just do not preplan for the resturant, a treat or a drink-this would help me not to fall in to the what the heck you have blown it and continue on over eating. Recording the cals is a great clue for me stay within the cal count. Know of anything?

Bethany-hope you have a great weekend-

take care

11-10-2007, 06:47 AM
from the Beck DIET Solution: (Available thru the 3FC Store)
Many dieters give themselves permission to eat when confronted with issues of fairness. You might be one of them.

Weíve all grown up with the idea that life should be fair Ė but life isnít fair.
It isnít fair that some people have to struggle with their weigh.
It isnít fair that some people (for economic conditions) go hungry every day.
It isnít fair that some people die young.
Life isnít fair.
Dieting isnít fair.

Once I stop telling myself that dieting isnít fair, dieting will be easier.

This appears in me as several sabotaging thoughts, for which I can think of helpful responses.

Sabotaging Thought: I should be able to eat like those people.
Helpful Response: My body stays healthy the way I eat.

Sabotaging Thought: I should be able to have Girl Scout Cookies because I like to support the girls selling the cookies and because Iíve always eaten a bag or two of the thin mints. Itís not fair to give that up.
Helpful Response: I can support the scouts by buying two bags and putting them out for the troops at work; they will disappear quickly. (Recall that DW has asked that I not bring any home for her because she likes them, would eat them, and doesnít need them. And she has a pretty rational relationship with food.)
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Completed Beck Program-day 23. 19 to go. Keep going!

11-10-2007, 07:18 AM
I worked yesterday on getting my head back into wanting to do my gym routing. My friends at work who are into gym and have good muscles for their efforts, assure me that one MUST consume protein 30 minutes before and 30 minutes after weight training for it to have any value. Some people believe this, some don't. My DW, for example, thinks this is just another misguided male fantasy. But, couldn't hurt to try.

So, before gym I had a serving of soy nuts and immediately after had a protein smoothie with 18 grams of whey protein. Then spent the day just feeling my muscles repairing themselves. It worked in my head; knowing I was going to do this motivated my to workout to a good burn.

If it takes a white feather for me to fly, I'll use a white feather.

"Domestic Goddess" Sue - LOL at playing classic rock and roll all day. That's a classic Beck move to take a positive step to cause a change. < Taking notes for my use. > Your DH sounds like a good sport.

On the days that the maid and cook are taking care of you, might I suggest that you have the butler follow you around doing the fitday calculations. Certainly Queen Elizabeth II wouldn't carry her own PDA - why should you?

Hope your weekend with house guests goes well.

Bethany - Hope all is well in your world. Weekends are such a welcome time for outdoor activity, even if the snows are arriving in your area.

Readers - Should you feel the unfairness of your diet today, may you find a helpful response to get you head back to a grounded place before you respond by eating.

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Completed Beck Program-day 23. 19 to go. Keep going!

11-10-2007, 10:03 AM
Help !!!!!!!!!!!
Has anybody left food on their plate at a restaurant that they would be willing to share? I could use some help on this one. It seems impossible to me. Perhaps some non-Beck person has a success with this.
I have to grab the first wait staff that passes and just hand them my plate before I have a chance to loose my resolve.

I have just discovered her book and yesterday I went out and bought the book and the workbook, however it looks like the books are pretty much the same. Will I miss anything if I return the more expensive hardcover (the first one) book and just keep the workbook?

11-10-2007, 08:05 PM
Welcome to the Beck thread, surrealchereal :)

That's a great way to pull it off not eating all the food served in a restaurant. :carrot: :carrot: :carrot:
I have to grab the first wait staff that passes and just hand them my plate before I have a chance to loose my resolve.

I'll have to try that. No sitting and staring.

An earlier poster was satisfied with the workbook alone. They weren't interested in the discussion chapters, just wanted the exercises. If I can find that posting, I'll post a link back to it later.

I'm quit happy with the hard cover book alone. I really appreciate the initial four chapters that set the stage before the 42 program-days, and the final two chapters that cover the rest of life after the 42 program-days. I haven't read the workbook, but the main use that I assume it could have been for me was to replace a lot of time writing out checklists. However, I solved that problem instead by typing the final checklist once in Excel where I check it off each day.

Good luck in choosing.

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Completed Beck Program-day 23. 19 to go. Keep going!

11-10-2007, 08:43 PM
happy weekend to all,

Welcome-surrealchereal-while I find Beck at time hard to do, the book has given me real hope and ideas to cope wiith all of my addictive food behaviors. I actually got the the book first then the workbook in Oct I like and use them both. Can't advise about returning the text or not.

Interesting ideas about the unfairness of dieting. I view my bad eating habits as an handicap-but a "curable" handicap with correct behaviors. It really is or is not fair-it just is and the only way for me to deal with it is to be continuously vlgilant. There is nothing magical out there for me, but continuous alertness and stopping those "automatic " responses-like eating food while fixing food, eating just for taste when not even hungry and thousands more unhealthy habits. I love that Beck does not include a sense of morality-i have felt bad, ugly, weak, lacking morals for being fat. It is just a mess of very poor coping skills which does not help with dealing with emotion and has had me very unhealthy. I really do not complete a lesson and then have that behavior cured-rather I will conquer one thing, do a new lesson, forget what I learned 2 weeks ago and have to go back again to an earlier lesson. One of the great things about posting as you can hear how someone else is coping with a lesson.

glad you are focusing on the gym-who knows about the protein push before and after-try it out for time period and see if works for you.

too bad we always want something for our money-One rare occassions I have actually just given a donation to avoid the cookies/candy/ugly wrapping paper of a fund raiser. also giving them to troops at work is a great idea.

We are leaving to hear County Joe McDonald sing Woodie Guthrie for a fund raiser. set in fatasy of a prohibition era speakeasy.


11-11-2007, 05:50 AM
from the Beck DIET Solution: (Available thru the 3FC Store)
For most people, losing weight starts off easy because their motivation and confidence are high. At some point it begins to get harder. Life intervenes in ways that makes sticking to your diet a real effort. Cravings become more intense. And some dieters begin to panic.

They have sabotaging thoughts, such as:
ē It shouldnít be this hard.
ē Iíll never be able to keep this up.
ē I donít want to do this anymore.

You can vigorously respond to these sabotaging thoughts.
Forget the long term Ö
Focus on today Ö
I know I can continue to do what I need to do today Ö
If itís hard tomorrow, Iíll deal with it then.

Beckís suggestion to reread my Advantages Response Card works for me.

It helps me counter discouragement knowing that my plan doesnít absolutely eliminate any food, e.g. I can tell myself that I continue to eat dark chocolate, just less.

Same for oatmeal raisin cookies. I still eat an occasional homemade oatmeal raisin cookie, I just avoid the half bag serving of mediocre commercial packages of them.

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Completed Beck Program-day 24. 18 to go. Keep going!

11-11-2007, 06:43 AM
Today's chores includes bringing the patio furniture into the basement. DW resists my insistence that it's too early to accept that winter is here.

I had a chance to work on my own fat prejudice last week. I was at an all day meeting where the largest person there snacked non stop the whole time. Initially I was really disgusted. Then I focused on why it annoyed me so, I had no stake in this person's diet, and it became clear to me that I was embarrassed because, in the past, that person would have been me. After seeing that, the person just became another participant in the meeting. Kinda striking, my disgust at them was just embarrassment at me.

Sue - Your phrase "continuously vigilant" will be my beckworm today.

If you come back and tell us which Woodie Guthrie songs you heard, some of us can wallow in our memories of the '60s. :) And others here can roll their eyes and wonder why people old enough to remember the '60s aren't just dead already and get on with it. :rolleyes:

I too like that Beck steers us away from a moral response to our eating. When I feel judgmental about food, I shut down my ability to think of helpful responses.

Bethany - Sending positive thoughts your way.

surrealchereal - Found the quote about the Beck workbook in the September thread:
I havenít gotten out my book since getting the workbook so I canít compare. I can tell you that it has everything I need. The first 4 chapters were interesting in the book and arenít included in the workbook. It starts with the workófirst making the list of reasons and then off to day 1. An example of day 1 is a full page checklist of ways to review the advantages of dieting (make extra copies; put them on a greeting card for yourself, etc.). There are 10 parts to the checklist. Then it gives us todayís do list, which I think you have too. Without looking at my book I feel there are more checklists and less reading with the workbookóit is straight forward. There are daily planning charts and priority chart for scheduling the day and a journal after the diet starts . . . what I did to avoid unplanned eating, etc. and then at the back there are response cards already made, the most important one, do it anyway. Even if I donít like using a diet skill, I have to do it anyway. If I do only what I feel like doing, I wonít be able to lose weight and keep it off. There are 24 cards. I will take a look at my book this weekend and get back to you. What I like about the workbook is that it is quick reading and hands on and everything is together.

Readers All - If you're feeling discouraged right now, may you find the path to Forget the long term and Focus on today.

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Completed Beck Program-day 24. 18 to go. Keep going!

11-11-2007, 07:26 AM
Hello all

BillBlueEyes, I find when I go to a restaurant, I eat half of my meal and then I throw a napkin on my plate, this works for me. When I see the napkin on my plate I know that I planned to end my meal at that point. Some of my friends ask for half of their meal packed up right away, but I don't feel comfortable with that, it takes away from my meal I am planning to enjoy. This was a huge NSV for me as I was brought up not to waste food. By leaving half of my meal I have mastered this. It was so difficult at first becasue of all the starving children in Africa my mom told me about growing up. Now it feels good. When I am at an event I don't know people at, there are always comments about me having such good self control. They don't realize I use my napkin as a trigger to say no more food. I hope I explained this. I know it may not work for everyone but it does for me. I was a true mindless eater and would eat and wonder how my food disappeared so quickly.
Good luck on your journey.

11-11-2007, 10:59 AM
They don't realize I use my napkin as a trigger to say no more food.I would just push the napkin aside when no one was looking and start nibbling again. ;)
Thanks for your thoughts guys, I'm going to keep the book, I am a need to know kind of gal.

11-12-2007, 05:06 AM
from the Beck DIET Solution: (Available on Amazon thru the 3FC Store)
Before you take the first bite of something you didnít plan to eat, you almost always have a thought or a series of thoughts. Once you identify and respond to these thoughts, youíll be better able to control your eating.

Common diet-related sabotaging thoughts: [selected from Beckís list of 26]

ē Itís OK to eat this.
ē Iíll just eat these crumbs.
ē Iíll make up for it later.
ē Itíll go to waste if I donít eat it.
ē I should eat it because itís free.
ē Itís a special occasion.
ē Iím treating myself.

Once I get good at identifying my sabotaging thoughts (so I can respond to them), dieting will be easier.

My sabotaging thoughts:

ē I should eat this because itís FREE. (Meaning coming from companies or strangers, not when coming from friends or relatives.)
ē I should clean my plate at home because of the starving children in China.
ē I should clean my plate at a restaurant. [Nb. Two ideas for Helpful Responses reported above by surrealchereal and Newlifestyle.]
ē I should have some of every item at a buffet.
ē I need a candy bar at work because of the tight deadline to get this job done.
ē When a vending machine accidently gives me two items, itís MANDATORY that I eat both.
ē I should finish food left on the kids plates to avoid waste.
ē I should eat the partial serving remaining in a container to smooth out the wrinkles in the universe.
ē I should eat this because it smells really good.
ē I should eat this because Iíve never had it before.
ē No one knows me here.
ē Iíll just eat these crumbs so they donít go to waste, theyíre just as good as the whole item. (LOL at crumbs, Iíve done that for food I wouldnít eat in the whole.)

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Completed Beck Program-day 25. 17 to go. Keep going!

11-12-2007, 06:09 AM
It's a work day for me. I'm surrounded by a mixture of places operating on normal weekday schedule and holiday schedule. We won't get mail; trash is picked up. The gym is open on weekday schedule. The benefit of having to go to work is that I don't have to read the flyer's for the zillion sales going on today.

My eating was on plan yesterday, including a Korean dinner prepared by DS and his GF. The five dishes of condiments were not just tasty, they also provided strong flavors that helped to reach satisfaction without eating large quantities.

Was reminded that it's been years since we've had a shabu-shabu dinner - the Japanese hot pot where each person dips their food into a common bowl of heating broth in the middle of the table. As the dinner progresses, the broth evolves into a savory soup. Lots of eating time for a small amount of calories. The Volumetrics folks should be onto this.

surrealchereal - Thanks for the idea for handling restaurants:
I have to grab the first wait staff that passes and just hand them my plate before I have a chance to lose my resolve.

Your technique neatly solves the problem by making the decision once and moving away from any further consideration.

Newlifestyle - Also thanks for the idea for handling restaurants:
I find when I go to a restaurant, I eat half of my meal and then I throw a napkin on my plate, this works for me. When I see the napkin on my plate I know that I planned to end my meal at that point.

I like the idea of designing a personal trigger to signal that I've already made the decision to stop eating - it seems like a Beck kind of Helpful Response, like brushing my teeth to signal I'm done eating for this evening.

Laughing my self silly at the response from surrealchereal: "I would just push the napkin aside when no one was looking and start nibbling again."

Also laughing at your "starving children in Africa" since my starving children were in "China". Wonder if each area of the world or each generation has its own location for starving children. Perhaps some graduate student who can't think of a theses topic can choose this and let us know.

Sue - Hope you had nice weather for your guests. We had a sunny, cold Sunday - perfect day for going to look at the ducks migrating through on their way to some dependable winter food. Canada Geese are still honking overhead as they fly south.

Bethany - Sending good thoughts.

Readers, Beck graduates, Beck subway alumni - Hope that each of your unique Sabotaging Thoughts has a unique Helpful Response.

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Completed Beck Program-day 25. 17 to go. Keep going!

11-12-2007, 03:29 PM
Hello all,

Great to have other folks posting-every idea is such a help in changing behaviors which are filled with sabotaging thoughts which "helps" us ignore a truly healthy respond to food.

I have never even thought of asking a waiter to remove my plate-but at home will put my dish in the sink to stop eating. Great idea-when out.

Well, I am the poster child for the sabotaging thought of GO ahead and eat it as it is a special occassion!!along with it is increditable delicious, I never make this, then add sugar and/or processed flour and I go down like an anchor into the sea of food. I get in a food stupor in which I can ignore all Beck Principals-The good news is that I am Back on program.

I had such a great time at the fund raiser-but ate and drank too much-
County Joe put on a great show focusing on the music of Woodie -very poignant. When he came back for an encore-he naturally did the "fixing to die rag". Still powerful.-just subsititue Iraq for Vietnam.

I look forward to the day when I can be remain viligant and still enjoy a celebration. this seems to the toughest situation for me. Again I am very glad that this did not turn into a "I can't diet" 6 month binge. My stupors only last 4-36 hrs versus for months. I think the Advantage card for losing weight is burned into my brain and my focus does return to how to lose the weight. At least I have stopped that self loathing that I am fat due to poor moral character and have some successful tool learned from the Beck Solution-Back to preplanning and recording.

We have no company planned for the rest 2007. Thanksgiving is with another couple- They also have health issues so we are planning a sugar free/low fat meal. mainly veggie and turkey meal. It will be great to celebrate with folks who do not want rich food as part of the party.

My one of my greatest times of vulnerability are social meals and gathering. I have my meals and house set up much like Beck recommends-set place to eat, no foods visiable or no treat foods even stored in the kitichen, learned to be much more mindful, put fork down between bites ect.

Once things are much more social-see alot of food about, feel encouraged by others to over eat, hearing them rave about the food, talking alot-lose mindfulness, eat any where or time, I feel so over whelmed that I stop hearing any sabotaging thoughts. It feel like I am "helpless" in stopping my behaviors. This has been compounded with 5 weekend in the last 7 with over night guests. I love guests but it is alot of work-cooking, cleaning and laundry- I get tired also.

Looking forward to being back in our routines again. BillBlueEyes- your meals sound so interesting-love big cities for the different types of ethnic foods available. Love going to San Francisco for the art, museums, food and great sights. Have a bearable working day. Sure sound like you have master the sabotaging idea of eating because you deserve a treat-working when other don't. I have sure used that alot in the past. Thinking that food can soothe the feeling of things being unfair. Life is one complex mystery-often unfair and wonderful.

best wishes to all
thanks for posting

11-12-2007, 09:35 PM
Well Bill you had me going until I hit these...

ē I should have some of every item at a buffet.

And why is that? :)
Now my next comment will ruin this next situation if it happens again.

ē When a vending machine accidentally gives me two items, itís MANDATORY that I give one of them to someone else, because I didn't pay for two and if I eat both I am being dishonest, if I give one away I am encouraging good will in the Universe.

And we all know we can use all the good will we can get!:dizzy:

Why is it that because I made a cheesecake my sister thought was to die for I'm expected to bring it again this year? I was drooling on my keyboard just looking for the recipe...
Hmmm I wonder if she would accept a broccoli cheesecake instead? :devil:

11-13-2007, 07:00 AM
Tonight we go to Boston to hear La Boheme - a great benefit of living near a city. Each time my heart hopes that Mimi will make it this time, perhaps a warm spell will hit Paris and she'll be alright. I raise my hopes so that I can feel the full pain of her dying.

Even though 3FC is a site for those of us who have make poor choices faced with the abundance of food, tonight I celebrate that the abundance of food is what allowed civilization to arise including the arts, and OPERA. And I will suffer for the poor Parisian students who were thin because they didn't have the money to buy food.

Sue - Loved your thought "Life is one complex mystery-often unfair and wonderful."

I'll think all day about Country Joe performing "Fixing to die rag". I hear Faulkner once again, "The past is never dead. It's not even past."

Just great that you're putting weight out of the moral character thinking. That seems to be a MAJOR Beck direction.

surrealchereal - You're right, this one ruins it for me:
When a vending machine accidentally gives me two items, itís MANDATORY that I give one of them to someone else, because I didn't pay for two and if I eat both I am being dishonest, if I give one away I am encouraging good will in the Universe.

How could I possibly deny the Universe, LOL. Or be a common crook.

Your broccoli cheesecake idea does indeed expose a demonic side :D What a great weapon to undermine the lures of over eating. You can teach us all to indulge in our little devil part. Perhaps we owe that to the Universe also. :)

Bethany - Hope you are reading these and staying the course.

Readers and Thinkers All - You might, of course, be sailing along without Sabotaging Thoughts, but, if your recognize any of these, or have your own unique ones, even if you're not into Beck, or even into sentences with too many commas, perhaps because you are sensitive to proper use of the English language, or even, shutter, teach English and are professionally appalled by its abuse, or, because you, yourself, are able to express a single thought without diverting into the irrelevant, please post just one of them to add to the collection here.

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Completed Beck Program-day 25. 17 to go. Keep going!

11-14-2007, 02:54 AM
Hello All-

Surrrealchereal-how is the book and workbook going for you-which activities are you doing-want to share your advantage card? I found that card some of the best motiviation for me when I have stopped eating well-Inspite of screw ups in my eating, those advantages have really helped my return to dieting.

I truly believe that more old habits I do not reinforce the easier it will get. Today I really want some ice cream-went over my commitment to losing and knew if I bought some today I would just crave it more tomarrow and the next day. Yeah, sensible sue won today.

BilblueEyes -evening sound great.

I am re-doing day 17 for a number of meals-giving my self extra food -look at it on my plate and then throw it away. I feel I just get over whelmed when I have company and sort of lose it when I don't have my controlled food environment. Hopefully this is a small step to remain in control inspite of being very food stimulated when out or with food loving friends. have gotten back into the habit of finishing the salad when Dh has had enough-so few cals and it does not keep so I'll eat it instead of tossing it. Need to learn again to toss even the healthy stuff as enough is enough.

any other tasks/ideas you guys can think of to help me to learn to be rational when seeing alot of food during a party or just eating when preoccupied talking with others?

take care

11-14-2007, 06:17 AM
Last night Mimi died. Again. Just like she has at the end of every performance of La Boheme. Oh, Well.

Boy, I sure do like a live performance of opera. Got caught up in the fantasy of being a starving artist in the Left Bank of Paris just waiting for a beautiful, spirited girl to come to my door so that I could fall in love at first sight, failing to notice that she's dying of 'consumption'. DW burst my bubble a bit when she reminded me that if the opera continued with the life of Rodolfo we'd see him also die of Tuberculosis in about five years since he kissed Mimi just before she died and TB is seriously contagious. I wonder if all biologists have their romantic fantasies damped by bacterial contagion.

"Sensible Sue" - You inspire me to keep working the issue of leaving food on the plate, even healthy stuff.

Everybody - Looking for diet-related Sabotaging Thoughts like the ones posted ē Itís OK to eat this.
ē Iíll just eat these crumbs.
ē Iíll make up for it later.
ē Itíll go to waste if I donít eat it.
ē I should eat it because itís free.
ē Itís a special occasion.
ē Iím treating myself.

What are yours? The next program-day in Beck is going to cover the nine Common Thinking Errors and the program-day after that to ask if one of these nine is at play with our Sabotaging Thoughts. So, fess up, post one of your Sabotaging Thoughts, there's work to be done here to be able to think like a thin person.

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Completed Beck Program-day 25. 17 to go. Keep going!

11-14-2007, 10:30 PM
HI Everyone,

Hope all is going well for everyone.

I am using the daily food plan chart in the work book instead of fitday. I like that FitDay does calculate the calorie but felt I need the near by paper to insure I am recording all the food-especially those unplanned bites. Since it take about 3-6 mnutes to get on the internet-slow dial up I may forget to record stuff right away. Plus hate to see stuff in the unplanned eating column.

I did throw away some of my breakfast- that went ok Completely forgot to the same at lunch. Will do a bit for dinner. Really trying to break down this pattern of seeing foods at a party and overeating. Hoping that seeing and not eating food in my calmer home environment will help me learn that skill in a celebration.

My hugh sabotaging idea is- that ok eat just this once and tomarrow you will go back on a diet to lose all that extra weight. kind of I'll make this up later. Which I have but I keep losing the same 8 lb over and over-I want to get under 300 lbs by the end of Jan.

My now focus is- hey I am losing weight today?-because if I am then tomarrow i'll have more energy.

so glad you enjoyed the opera. I love live performances-I find Tv so boring with the small flat screen and all actions stopped for a commerical break. In fact We now longer have any TV service. -News is always bad and seems less scary on the radio- no pictures of the violence I always to day dream to be on the left bank in Paris when the impressionists were sitting in cafes and bars to discussing art.

Here is to being mindful in our lives.


11-15-2007, 06:11 AM
Had a Beck moment at dinner last night.

Before I went on my evening walk, an exhausted DW announced that I was to bring home dinner. Now that's a fun request because I go by Whole Foods and their ready-to-eat section always looks as good as it looks overpriced. Got chicken cooked with prunes, broccoli with roasted red bell peppers, and roasted eggplant with red peppers and something else.

When eating, DW served herself seconds. I remembered that I don't do seconds, but served myself anyway. Had one bite of chicken and realized that I'd die for this for lunch the next day. So, I stopped, got up and filled a microwaveable container for lunch and put it in the fridge, then returned to the table. [Would have been a loooong wait to "grab the first wait staff that passes and just hand them my plate" and I wasn't ready for DW's reaction to "throw a napkin on my plate." LOL.]

Naturally I kick myself for even serving myself seconds. But I give myself credit for for waking up and realizing that I was satisfied, I was now servicing Desire, not hunger, and then stopping.

I'm going to count that as leaving food on my plate, since I have so few competing examples.

Sue - Congratulation for throwing away some breakfast. And for recognizing the sabotaging thought that you can eat something and get back on plan tomorrow.

Bethany - Hope all is well.

Readers, Beck graduates, Beck beginners, Beck-curious - May you recognize a Sabotaging Thought today and have a Helpful Response to recover. If you do, feel free to post it, because any-day-now I'm going to quite dawdling and post the Thinking Errors that we might be using to sustain them.

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Completed Beck Program-day 25. 17 to go. Keep going! 

11-15-2007, 01:37 PM
Hello to everyone.

BillBlueEyes-that was great to catch yourself eating your second portion. I think is actually more powerful when we are in the process of repeating old patterns and then become mindful and stop it. We stop our action in the well worn brain groove and climb out. Yeah!!:carrot:

Yesterday left me with some new ideas on throwing food out. I had extra curry dish on my plate to sit there and not eat and later to throw out. I already had left over curry in the storage container for lunch-I could not throw it out- it just seemed stupid so added to the container for lunch.

Here is my game plan for extra food. I do like having extra on my plate and being conscious of not eating it. It helps fight that complusive reaction to eat just when I see food about any where.

To store or to throw the extra food out? things to throw out-anything I am addicted to-sweets, white flour ect,. This stuff stirs too much desire in me, Anything that doesn"t taste good after it stored-i.e. salad, toast, fish-In the past I will eat immediately any extras of this food as not to "waste" it as will not eat later if was old. Or if the amount to store is too small for a serving-so in the past I'll just eat that little bit now as not to "waste" it. Out all that stuff goes into the garbage.

Here is a petty annoyance but I could use some help on this. I am irritated by my husband contineous snacking after dinner. He slowly eats about 1-2 cups of peanuts over the course of the evening-he certainly can use the cals along with two small glasses of scotch.- Sometime after I heard him chewing for 40 minutes I want some peanut so badly -pure lust for the taste-or even a drink-I get so annoyed. I feel like a real *itch to get so upset. I know all of this is my emotional response to watching and hearing others eat and not jumping in to particpate with the eating particuliarly when I am a bit hungry. What can I do with my frustration about not eating- oh well does not work for me if the stimulation is continually there. I can say oh well and walk away from stuff it is when it is not contineously in my sight but I have really problems when the food or I remain in the same room.

good luck with healthy eating

11-16-2007, 05:58 AM
from the Beck DIET Solution: (Available on Amazon thru the 3FC Store)

It is important to recognize that thoughts are just ideas, not necessarily truths. Your thoughts about anything might be completely true, partially true, or completely false. For example, if you haven’t eaten all day and pass by people eating pizza, you might think, That looks so good … I’m so hungry,which might well be true. In fact, this thought isn’t necessarily a problem. The problematic one comes next. The thought, I have to have some,is not true. But if you’re like most people, you probably accept this last thought as true, without really thinking about it - at least at that moment.

Nine Common Thinking Mistakes people make when dieting:
Thinking Mistake #1: All or Nothing Thinking
Thinking Mistake #2: Negative Fortune Telling
Thinking Mistake #3: Overly Positive Fortune Telling
Thinking Mistake #4: Emotional Reasoning
Thinking Mistake #5: Mind Reading
Thinking Mistake #6: Self-Deluding Thinking
Thinking Mistake #7: Unhelpful Rules
Thinking Mistake #8: Justification
Thinking Mistake #9: Exaggerated Thinking

Once I can readily see the mistakes in my thinking, dieting will be easier.

My sabotaging thoughts from Program-day 25 [Mistake Numbers]:

• I should eat this because it’s FREE. [#8 Justification]
• I should clean my plate at home because of the starving children in China. [#7 Rules]
• I should clean my plate at a restaurant. [#7 Rules]
• I should have some of every item at a buffet. [#8 Justification]
• I need a candy bar at work because of the tight deadline. [#8 Justification]
• When a vending machine accidently gives me two items, I eat both. [#8 Justification]
• I should finish food left on the kids plates. [#7 Rules]
• I should eat the partial serving remaining in a container. [#7 Rules]
• I should eat this because it smells really good. [#8 Justification]
• I should eat this because I’ve never had it before. [#8 Justification]
• No one knows me here. [#6 Self-deluding]
• I’ll just eat these crumbs. [#6 Self-deluding]

Wow, I seen to specialize in three of the Thinking Mistakes:

6 of [#8 Justification]
4 of [#7 Rules]
2 of [#6 Self-deluding]

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Completed Beck Program-day 26. 16 to go. Keep going!

11-16-2007, 06:23 AM
Glad it's raining, our water suppy needs it :)

Bummed out that it's raining, the pre-winter touch up painting isn't dry yet :(

Just accepted an invitation to a Christmas party that is notorious for abundance of REALLY high quality food. I'm glad I'm going. But right now, I have visions in my head of the HUGE amount of food available. I have about two weeks to convert that into a plan to eat a reasonable volume of QUALITY food. Why is my brain immediately drawn to VOLUME instead of QUALITY? Calling to my thin brain, where are you?

Sue - Seems like you've put together a plan for the food that's not on your plan. Good step. With the situations named and responses planned, I hope the execution becomes easier for you as you exercise it. That seems to be the Beck promise.

Can't think of a good suggestion when you are daily in the presence of a long session of peanut eating. I can see how that's a tough one for you. Perhaps you can conjure up an image of peanuts travelling from your mouth to their permanent place on your thighs. I'll give it some more thought.

Bethany - Waving.

Readers - If you have a Sabotaging Thought, may you find it helpful to see the common thinking error that is contributing to it.

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Completed Beck Program-day 26. 16 to go. Keep going!

11-16-2007, 07:24 PM

BillBlueEyes-wanted to get a short note in as a rather busy day and evening-It really hit home about the mistaking thinking reason. Really what the heck are we thinking if we eat beyond feeling full and eating foods we know are not healthy. Off we go on misguided logic.

I really like being hungry therefore justified eating any thing in sight versus being hungry and eating appropriated- Even if it means more work-This now means Skip the Ice cream cone at store and instead I need to going home to make a salad. One of my favorite myths is shattered. I have loved to combined justification with some self deluding thinking,

For a number reasons I am finally getting what goes on in my head may seem like reality- but it just a series of passing thoughts, feeling and sensation which will be real to me if I ruminate long enought on them-If i repeat the concepts enough that it should be true-I really deserve this treat, i know they were criticizing them, i am justified to be angry at someone. From Buddhism to beck dieting the same message-I have alot of thinking mistakes which adversly affects my actions. Thanks for the posting-

Another mistaked logic-sometimes I want the promise of magical thinking versus all this mindfulness needed to change. I have been looking at some tough emotions which I have kept contained with over stuffing. Rats this being a grown up in my 60's can be alot of work.

have a great weekend-Friday eveing

11-17-2007, 08:08 AM
from the Beck DIET Solution: (Available thru the 3FC Store)
You now have a list of sabotaging thoughts and thinking mistakes. Today, youíll create additional Response Cards to help you more effectively respond to these thoughts.

The Seven Question Technique
1. What kind of thinking error could I be making?

2. What evidence is there that this thought might not be true (or be completely true)?

3. Is there an alternative explanation or another way of viewing this?

4. What is the most realistic outcome of this situation

5. What is the effect of my believing this thought and what could be the effect of changing my thinking?

6. What would I tell [a close friend or family member] if he/she were in this situation and had this thought?

7. What should I do now?

Over time, as you practice these ideas again and again, youíll automatically respond to your sabotaging thoughts, even without Response Cards.

Example exercise using one of my sabotaging thoughts from above: ē I should eat this because itís FREE.

1. Thinking error? #8 Justification

2. Counter evidence? Iím not destitute; it doesnít affect my finances to scoff free food.

3. Alternative explanation? It feeds my child-like good feeling for beating the system.

4. Most realistic outcome? Iíll feel good for beating the system for a few minutes, then feel bad for a day or so for being so stupid, then feel discouraged that I didn't stick to my eating plan.

5. Effect of believing/changing my thinking? If I eat, Iíll feel like a doofus for acting like a child of the depression. If I resist, Iíll feel like a grownup in charge of my life.

6. Tell a friend? Youíre waddling in your old thinking. You can make a current choice.

7. Do now? Recall my Advantages Card, laugh at the persistence of my childhood thinking, NO CHOICE the FREE food, credit myself in my journal, and brag on 3FC.

Response Card: Eating FREE food gave me beat-the-system joy as a child. My adult joy is making the system work. Iím a doofus when I forget the difference.

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Completed Beck Program-day 27. 15 to go. Keep going!

11-17-2007, 08:28 AM
WOW, working the seven questions exercise surprised me. I'd never named the child-like beat-the-system joy before. I can even feel the smug feeling when I do it. No wonder my craving for FREE food was so strong. It always felt so good I kinda hate to let it go. Oh, Well.

In my journal I'll try the exercise on my other thoughts.

Plan to get a good walk today - I've been walking less, for the standard reasons everybody has. But I have some time scheduled today. It's a crisp day - a good motivating day for walking briskly.

Sue - That's the title for your autobiography: From Buddhism to Beck. Love it. I'll buy the first copy.

Be sure to have a chapter on combining Justification with Self-Deluding Thinking. I can use some insight there.

Yep, being a grown up can be a lot of work. But, I have little desire to be a teenager ever again. Maybe a ten year old, with few responsibilities and boundless joy at discovering the world.

Readers - So many sabotaging thoughts, so little time. Have a mindful day.

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Completed Beck Program-day 27. 15 to go. Keep going!

11-17-2007, 05:21 PM
I have purchased the Beck Diet Solution book and work book. I did so because reading the posts here got me interested. I thank you all for your posts.
Bill, I thought that was amazing you could take food off your plate and put it in the fridge for the next day....yeah. Give yourself Credit, that is an awesome accomplishment.
Thanks for reminding readers to have a mindful day. It is with this awareness that we begin to truly live life, rather than exist in it.

11-18-2007, 02:41 AM
Hi to everyone,

Glad to have your posting Ann-This is both a powerful and at times a hard program for me to change my ingrained eating habits. Being mindful or our eating and our practice of unhealthy eating justification is so critical to get to and remain at goal weight. For me it has been a slow processes but successful in that I have not regrained the lost weight which is very common pattern for me. Any Way Welcome

BillBlueEyes another great posting. I found your acknowledging of child's response to free food reminded of often when I break down and eat non planned for foods, I feel like a bratty little girl stumping her feet and going to show those "food expects" what they can do with their rules and advice. I have the kid response of cutting my own nose to spite myself. I actually react that way to the Oh Well idea. I do better with praising myself for being mindful and not doing an auto response of eating. I think OH Well in my early years was a statement used by my folks to dismissed my needs-oh well that just isn't going to happen, Oh Well what did you expect?

Went to house warming party and I did very well. Brought diet sodas- the only nonalcohol drinks at the place-ate one bite of sushi-(homemade and delicious) stopped and forgo all the rest of the treats. Dh has been so supportive about cutting back having food and drink all evening. It has made it easier if we are watching a movie together. Able to follow the diet without feeling deprived and contineously fighting overeating. Still able to always leave a bit of food on plate which I don"t eat. Today DH even left some of his breakfast because he has been watching me-He realized he was no longer hungry and did not need to clean his plate.

The seven techniques are a great way to slow down and start looking at desire and cravings-I can get into a dialogue with myself and forget about the craving-plus it more like a intellectual curosity versus a white knuckle way of No-bad girl don't eat that.

You are so focused and disciplined remaining on task of going thur the book-Thanks it really help me alot.

Enjoy you walks-it has been so cold and very foggy so I been dogging the pool but will get back soon. They promise some sun soon.

11-18-2007, 06:26 AM
Weigh myself in the morning and plot the results. Beck has some Helpful Responses to the Sabotaging Thoughts that I might have.

from the Beck DIET Solution: (Available thru the 3FC Store)
Donít even think about trying to skimp on food today in order to have a more satisfying outcome tomorrow. You need to squarely face whatever number you see on the scale. And eating too little today might set you up for going overboard in the following day or two.

[Omitted Scenario #1 You lost what you consider to be a lot of weight, and Scenario #2 too little.]

Scenario #3: You donít lose weight or you gain weight.

Sabotaging Thought: I canít believe this! See, I just canít lose weight.

Helpful Response: My weight might be up temporarily for hormonal or other reasons. If my weight doesnít go down next week, Iíll call my coach to see if she can meet me to go over my food plans. Maybe I made some mistakes. Maybe I need to decrease my caloric intake or exercise more. I just need to stay problem solving-oriented.

Once I learn to use the scale as information to guide my efforts, dieting will be easier.

For me, the big thoughts are:
use the scale as information to guide my efforts, and

stay problem solving-oriented.

My maintenance weight tends to fluctuate within a 5 pound band. Sometimes I believe I know the reason, like this summer when I hit the top of my weight band after a week of travel, reduced exercise, and eating out, or last week when I hit the bottom of my weight band after a few days of particularly frugal eating. But weight is just a measurement on a scale; itís not me. There is no benefit to me to indulge in feelings about the number. There is great benefit to reviewing my week and thinking of ways to respond to my off-plan actions.
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Completed Beck Program-day 28. 14 to go. Keep going!

11-18-2007, 07:07 AM
Staying about on plan with eating and exercise. Yesterday included some raking of leaves, not for the last time, but got a goodly bunch in barrels to the curb for pick up. In the past few years there has been little snow, which has reduced the standard fear of having the leaves covered with snow until spring. But early snow is always possible, so gotta keep ahead of these leaves.

Will try to get to the supermarket early this morning to get food for my lunches next week. Around here the days before Thanksgiving are mayhem in the stores. Have to wonder where the extra people come from, since I'd have thought that most people also eat during the weeks without Thanksgiving. Oh, Well.

Ann - Welcome aboard, with your new Beck book, Beck workbook, and handy napkin to toss over off-plan food at a restaurant.

Thanks for your kind words, and for this particularly moving thought that I'll mull over all day:
It is with this awareness that we begin to truly live life, rather than exist in it.Do let us know how you use both the book and the workbook, since some people ponder getting one or both.

Sue - Congratulations for staying on plan at your house warming. Smart move to bring your own diet soda.

It's amazing that you left food on your plate and that it's contagious - your DH caught it and left food on his plate, too. That's great. Would you mind dropping by my house and eating a few meals? I could use catching whatever it is that you've got to leave food on your plate.

Too bad that Oh, Well is burned out for you. Can you think of a substitute that works?

Readers - When you weight yourself, may you merely see a number and remain fully in control to review the week to determine if changes would be helpful and what they might be.

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Completed Beck Program-day 28. 14 to go. Keep going!

11-18-2007, 12:55 PM
Good morining,

Another cold and foggy day--my DH loves do do fine woodworking, so we are beginning a small craft business of doing bird houses and other "folk" wooden crafts. It has been so damp that some of the paints and oils are taking forever to dry. Getting excited to do the show which will start the Friday after Thanksgiving.

Our attitudes to what the scale show for today.
I weight myself as I do every day-I was up .4 of lb RATs
Really feel that I ate according to plan-yes there can be some water gain-it can be a mystery and I need to accept today's result and keep on program. Your word of "indulging" in your feeling about the scale' reading is an interesting choice. I find I need to acknowledge-feel the negative stuff, let it go /don't work at proving those feel are real and then focus on proactive beck solution. I have spend years indulging, ruminating and dramatizing negative feelings/attitudes about myself then using food to bury these feelings.

It is a balance for me to find the correct amount of cals in order to continuous and steadly lose weight-very obese yet unable to move alot so don't burn up alot of daily cals. A couple of month went to down to about 1300 cals and stopped losing- right now 1500-1600 seems to work.

Beck and her approach has really helped with the negative attitude of I am just weak, have no self discipline, I'll never lose. It can be a real battle to see what I actually weigh and feel like woman with any sense of attractiveness. One doc even said to me that my husband should leave me when I weighed over 200 lbs. There is some powerful prejudice toward the obese-Glad you are aware of some of your attitude BillBlueeyes and work at not projecting them. Heck, even when I see some one larger than me I can think at least I am "better" than them.

I do have a food question- I have been reading that some research shows that drinking diet soda can slow weight loss. That ones body can react to the artificial sugars like they are real sugars. I have gotten some of the sugar/fatfree fudgecicles. What has been your experience when you use splenda or other phony sugars?

Thanks for all the posting and support

11-18-2007, 08:43 PM
Hi Sue and Bill.
I am really enjoying your posts as they make me think, something I have not intentionally done in a while. I know I think but just on the surface. Reading your posts and now reading Beck, makes me want to think and question.
If you ask others who know me, they believe I am quite the thinker. This hasn't been the case for a long time as I have adopted the OH well attitude, no matter what happens, oh well, it is the safe route. It doesn't involve emotions or feelings. I am really enjoying the workbook, in the workbook Judith Beck mentions it is best to have both but not essential to read the book. You will still benefit from the workbook. I find the workbook refreshing, when I am reading the book to be honest, I think blah, blah, blah. I really like when you post stuff on this site. It makes it seem real to me. I have always been like this, I prefer the Coles notes. The workbook has great ideas. I liked that she mentioned have two diet plans. I am at the point that I have become complacent doing ww so now I will try Calorie counting. I am just so excited about this book, some things are difficult but with practice I am sure I can master. For example, only eating when sitting down. Wow, I never realized I sometimes do stuff and get up with a mouthful of food and then just go back and get food back from my plate. Yesterday and Today I sat to eat. It made a difference.
Sorry didn't mean to write a book for you.
Sue , I know many people who eat/drink things with phony sugar and they have not had problems, while others have had problems. I truly think it depends on the person. I think some of the maintainers were talking about this on one of the 3fC's sites. I will try to find it. Here it is.

Have a great night.

11-19-2007, 05:20 AM
from the Beck DIET Solution: (Available thru the 3FC Store)
Many of the dieters Iíve counseled have told me they ďhad to eatĒ to avoid hurting someoneís feelings, even though they knew it meant straying from their diet.
ē Youíre entitled to work toward your goal of losing weight as long as youíre not maliciously trying to make someone feel bad.

ē Itís OK to disappoint others. Disappointment is a normal part of life. Their disappointment will most likely be mild and fleeting.

Prepare your initial response: What will you say the next time someone offers you food? Write down what you plan to say in your notebook or on a Response Card. For many people, ďNo, thanks,Ē or ďNo, thank you, it looks delicious, but Iím fine,Ē will probably suffice. You donít have to explain that youíre on a diet or watching what youíre eating if you donít want to. If itís appropriate and if you want, you can always say, ďThank you, it looks really good. Could I take a little piece home for later?Ē

I have often assumed (Thinking Mistake #5: Mind Reading ) that people will be REALLY offended ( Thinking Mistake #9: Exaggerated Thinking ) when I refuse in a group situation, when, in practice, offense just hasnít happened. I assume that people will notice if I donít take a piece of a celebration cake at a company function. However, if I have something in my hand so that I donít look like I need to be taken care of, people donít notice.

Thank you Dr. Beck for reminding me that I donít need to offer a convincing, ďI follow a healthy life style,Ē argument, particularly since saying that implies that all who are eating the cake are mindless idiots for doing so.

I also donít even need to convince them Iím not hungry or that I will eat later. Itís a bit TMI to publically debate the state of my digestive track. ďNo, thanks,Ē suffices.

Response Card: My eating is not the focus of otherís concern. I AM NOT THE CENTER OF EVERYONEíS UNIVERFSE.

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Completed Beck Program-day 29. 13 to go. Keep going!

11-19-2007, 06:13 AM
Quiz: Betcha don't remember who sang:

Monday Monday, so good to me,
Monday Monday, it was all I hoped it would be
Oh Monday morning, Monday morning couldn't guarantee
That Monday evening you would still be here with me.

Brisk and sunny for my walk yesterday, couldn't be better. I like the contradiction of perspiring when I'm wearing gloves to keep the fingers from freezing.

The grocery store was jammed with people buying like it was the end of the world. The mango's looked good, so got one. Sugar snaps are expensive this time of year (imported from who knows where) but I buy them anyway to pack with the lunch I take to work. Too many raw vegetables with my lunch at work is just the right amount for me.

My life doesn't have many serious food pushers - mostly social situations where I assume that people want me to eat.

Sue - Only 4 days till your craft fair; hope the paint is drying for you.

Interesting that you increased your calories to resume your weight loss. On other threads people have discussed similar experiences. Unintuitive to me.

Appreciate your thoughts about acknowledging the negative feelings as part of letting them go. Will think about that.

That doctor should lose his license to practice for saying that your husband should leave you when you weight more than 200 pounds. That's beyond awful.

Can't help you with the Splenda discussion (I see that Ann did), since I avoid added sugars, including substitute sugars, and avoid sweet type desserts. I tend to crave that sort when I'm eating it, so it works for me to just steer clear.

I've never been a user of diet sodas. I was really into a cranberry flavored sparking water for a while, but stopped that when I got tired of the extra trips to the bathroom - my holding capacity seems to have decreased. Oh, Well.

Ann - Interesting observations about the workbook. Might have to get it now even though I'm 29 days completed in the initial 42 day part. Maybe I'll get it for a refresher course when I've been done for a while and am looking for incentive to keep working the strategies. Sometimes it helps me to switch perspective just to refocus, sorta like you switching to calorie counting.

I hope you post your thoughts as you go through the earlier program-days. I know that I would benefit from reviewing that stuff, think others might also, even if seems to you that your thoughts are similar to some previously posted. The Beck style seems to be to pound, pound, pound until it gets into my head.

Readers - Be good to the person you'd like to still be with you this evening. That person can be yourself.

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Completed Beck Program-day 29. 13 to go. Keep going!

11-19-2007, 08:55 AM
Bill, is it the Mama's and the Papa's who sing Monday, Monday?

11-19-2007, 09:22 AM
At the beginning of the workbook, Beck, writes about how the Beck Diet Solution Works.
Including, Picking a nutritious diet and a reasonable exercise program
plan and monitor what you eat, in writing,
use good eating habits so that you really notice and enjoy every bite
Solve Diet and exercise related problems
Transition to rest-of-your life eating and exercising.

It goes on to explain
how your thinking can lead you astray
Why eating can seem automatic, but isn't
Triggers and the Eating process
Dieter's thinking vs Thin thinking
Identifying thoughts

Chapter 2 is Get Ready to Begin the Program

It explains choosing a diet coach to help when you need to figure out solutions for your diet and exercise difficulties. You should have a diet coach and be accountable . Report your progress to them once a week.

Chosing your diet. - I found this extremely helpful to me as it says that health professionals recommend you eat between 1200-1600 calories. I don't know that I would have picked that many calories but am giving it a try.
Beck also wants you to chose two diet plans because when you get into trouble with one, such as boredom, you already have another one in place you can chose. If you don't have a back up, you may chose to stop dieting altogether.
In chapter 3, there is the questionnaire. very helpful to see patterns I think
Chapter 4 talks about how to motivate yourself.

I too like that she says, I'm entitled to do what I need to do to lose weight as long as I'm not maliciously doing something to make someone else feel bad.
Very powerful for me as I am always worried that I may offend someone.

As I go through I hi lite what I find I will need a refresher on.

Then Chapter 5 starts Week I

Create a foundation for Diet Success.

Day 1 Review the Advantages of dieting.
This is where I review the list I made of reasons for losing weight.
I like that she wants you to read your list at least once a day. I sometimes forget what I read two days ago, this way it keeps it fresh in my mind.
I needed the response card #1 that says, "Do It Anyway"
I will make up excuses why I shouldn't do something and when I look at that card, I think, okay I will just do it anyway.
I find this workbook makes so much sense to me.

I will post day 2 later and if any explanation is needed for anything I typed please let me know.

Bill and Sue, reading your posts have helped me so very much.
Thank you.

Have a wonderful day.

11-19-2007, 09:33 PM
Quiz: Betcha don't remember who sang:
Monday Monday, so good to me,
Monday Monday, it was all I hoped it would be
Oh Monday morning, Monday morning couldn't guarantee
That Monday evening you would still be here with me.

Bill, is it the Mama's and the Papa's who sing Monday, Monday?

We have a winner. !!!!!!!!!!!

Your prize is to fondly remember Mama Cass performing with elegance as a woman of size back when there weren't many.

I always remember her voice singing "Dream a Little Dream of Me," and remember the Mama's and the Papa's best for "California Dreaming."

She died of a heart attack at age 33. Had she lived she would have been 66.

Rest In Peace, Mama Cass Elliot, you could have been one of us on 3FC.

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Completed Beck Program-day 29. 13 to go. Keep going!

11-19-2007, 11:10 PM
Hi Guys,

I remember owning an album with that song on it-my infant son would calm down to Mamas and the Pappas They had such great harmony in their songs.What a wonderful innocent name for a group unlike some of them today. Here is to Mama Cass.! Many do remember her.

Ann nice reveiw of the book 1 st chapters. This site has been a hugh help for me to return to the concepts i need that pounding in again and again like you mentioned billBlueEyes. The tasks are so easy to do once and can be hard to do on a daily practice-Those sabatoging thoughts are so powerful and a long term habit for me-so continuous review is so good for me. In fact i have worried about you finish the book BillBlueEyes and would no longer post-glad you also believe in the need to review.

One of the most powerful itmes for me is my personal advantage list. It has really help to keep off diet times from being gross periods of weight gain.

I am a bit worried of T-Day. Having it with friends who are dieting, but now the menu is getting so big and caloric

need to stop right now -retrun to the posting in an hour or so

Hi guys again,

I am back to posting

Back to T-Day. I hate not being around other folks but am worried about being in a big feast. They keep asking me to bring pies-I have asked to bring any thing else not made with sugar. But that is what they want. One great DH is making the pies and I already let the host know that No left over pie comes home with us. The whole things seem unneccessary as some one is bring plenty of bakery good. Really all I want is my salad, an green leafy veggie and turkey, nothing else. There are 3 potatoes dishes along with dressing. There are only 6 of us and we are all over 60 yrs. No young bucks around who can eat like crazy and not gain. I'll checking out those chapters dealing with social eating and possible food pushers. One person going to be there always asked me if I have been bad and not lost weight. I'll be the one with about 8 note cards stuck in each pocket which I continuously pull out and read. I am within a 1/2 lb of losing 5 pound during the the last 2 weeks and don't want to lost that momentum. Down to svelt 319 the next Week.

dear diet coaches that for letting my sputter-my Dh is also happy not to have hear again, again, again my difficulty in losing weight. He is supportive about the results tho.

11-20-2007, 07:11 AM
from the Beck DIET Solution: (Available thru the 3FC Store)
When you go to a restaurant, family gathering, holiday celebration, or other special event, youíll encounter lots of triggers:The sight and smell of food,
People eating and drinking,
People offering you food and drink,
A festive atmosphere. Many people apply special eating and drinking rules to special occasions. They give themselves permission to indulge.

Thatís why so many dieters come undone.

Change Your Mindset About Parties, Celebrations, and Special Events.

If you want to lose weight and maintain it for your lifetime, you need to develop a different attitude toward celebrating than youíve had before. If youíre like most people, you have an idea that is quite strong in your mind. Iím entitled to make exceptions for special circumstances. There are three difficulties associated with this notion:

1. Youíre likely to encounter special circumstances repeatedly.

2. You might go overboard in making exceptions. Instead of just eating a small to moderate amount more at a special meal (perhaps a couple of hundred more calories), you could easily eat much more. For example, if your usual dinner is 600 calories, you could end up eating 200 percent more Ė or a total of 1,800 calories. Once you go over your planned limit, you may think, Iíve already blown itÖ I may as well eat whatever I want.

3. You might find it difficult to return to restricted eating once the event is over. I plan in advance to eat about 25 percent more calories Ė at most Ė than usual. Ö I enjoyed what I ate and didnít feel deprived. In fact, I felt really good that Iíd stuck to my plan and avoided overeating. The reason it was easy for me to do so? Itís because of the idea I have: Being thinner is more important to me than the momentary pleasure of overeating on special occasions.

Sticking to your diet every time you eat out or while celebrating is a skill that requires preparation and practice.

[Didnít cover the restaurant portion of this program-day, maybe later]

Planning to eat a percentage more at family celebrations helps me avoid my BIG concern, massive overeating. I plan to eat 50% more, instead of Beckís 25%, while Iím adjusting to this practice. I have stayed under 50% before and am not ready just yet to wo5k my ability to recover when I break my own plan. I can always adjust this number at a future date.

It works for me to survey the whole spread and eliminate those items that are frequently available or that are not special. My going in list includes: mashed potatoes, packaged stuffing, creamed corn, cheese and crackers, mixed nuts, store bought pies and all other desserts. Then I select from the remaining, and use the common technique of first filling my plate half full of salad and simple vegetables. For Thanksgiving, turkey and homemade cornbread stuffing make the plate. A small slice of pie without ice cream is my rare dessert.

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Completed Beck Program-day 30. 12 to go. Keep going!

11-20-2007, 07:28 AM
I'm looking forward to my Thanksgiving. We will walk to a friends house to celebrate with a large group spanning all ages. Will see some people we only see once a year.

Sue - It helps me to hear you "sputter". My DW is also a bit tired of the minutia of my thoughts about food. This is a safe place for me to go over this stuff.

I'll take the mental image of you at your Thanksgiving dinner with Advantage Cards sticking from every pocket.

Ann - Really glad you're going over the basics.

I'm going to steal your Response Card: Do It Anyway. I like it. Terse. Unambiguous. Covers all the excuses that I could never think of in advance that my old eating habits conjure up when opportunities for eating off-plan arise.

Have you made your Advantages Card? I continue to tweak mine to keep it fresh. I just remembered to add Avoid Back Pain, which had been one of my earliest motivations for starting my healthy life style journey. Just had forgotten to put it on my Advantages Card.

Readers - May you spend the next two days developing your strategy for joyfully celebrating Thanksgiving with all its benefits while comfortably staying on plan.

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Completed Beck Program-day 30. 12 to go. Keep going!

11-20-2007, 01:40 PM

Great timely posting BillBlueEyes-Even read the posting out loud to DH-The 3 reasons are so true for me-Especially with my Dh birthday celebration which went on for 4 weekends. Since we like to cook and serve wines, often i think guests expect the "royal Treatment" . While the laughs are great I do become mindless of the extra calores i eat. Then once they leave I keep the celebration going and have such difficulty return to moderation with a continuous promise of "tomarrow" I'll do all the Beck stuff.

I actually is scared to go to the gathering tomarrow. I am in the best 2 weeks of following the Beck Progam that I have done for months and less than 0.4 lb short of a 5 lb loss. I am upset that both of woman are expecting dessert even tho I have 3 times told them rather do a non sugar dish. What a great Dh to make the desset and plan to leave any left overs there. I sort of feel like am too new out of "Rehab" to be in this environment. Although very proud and feeling successful and healthier being back preplanning and recording and doing the other beck tasks, I have a sense of fragility that when overwhelmed with food sights and/or strong emotions, the saboatging thoughts will flood back. I still get alot of support from a calm food/drink free envrionment.

Again thanks for posting and letting me ponder them. I plan to focus on being calmer this holiday-keep those meditations and deep breaths going. It is odd but I can respect that I need it calm yet I "should" be able to have WillPower to resist food at all times. It is like focusing on being calm takes it away from embarrassment about my "lack of will power" and the "ought" to be able to enjoy the gathering with out over indulging. It is ok to stay home to be calm but not ok to say no just because I have no willpower. Never have I thought not going to a party or not having lots of guests was a good thing and a way to take care of me-it may be a necessary temporary step.

BillBlueEyes- glad your Thanksgiving will be such a fun day. I repect all the work you have done to lose the weight and committment to make all the healthy eating habits permanent.

Ann- hope all is well with you. What are your successes doing Beck and what is hard for you to do?


11-20-2007, 02:53 PM
Hi everyone,
I just wanted to pop in and say "hi." I am 24 weeks pg now, so I probably won't be back here until sometime after I deliver in March. I know I'll go right back to the plan, though, when I'm finished!

Sue, it is so inspirational to me that you are still here--what happened to everyone else? It's only been about 5 months! Hope to see you back here in March!

Take care,

11-20-2007, 11:08 PM
Hello Sue, Bill and Karina

the advantages of losing weight for me are strictly health related. I really want to be as healthy as I can be.

Some of the suggestions in the workbook are
I'll look better and more attractive,
I'll have more confidence
I'll be able to wear a smaller size
I'll fit into more fashionable clothing
I'll be able to buy fancy new underwear
I'll feel happier when I look in the mirror
I'll enjoy trying on clothes
I'll feel better in a bathing suit
I won't feel so self-consious
I'll get more compliments
My blood pressure will go down
My cholesterol will be reduced.
i'll be at less risk to develop type 2 diabetes
and so on, I will type more reasons listed in the work book tomorrow.

On day 2, it tells me to Commit to a diet plan,
I have committed to calorie counting. My back up is ww points.
I will be eating between 1200 and 1600 calories and I committ to exercising 500 calories per day.

Sabotaging thought: Some diets must be better than others. The media is full of diets that say you can lose weight quickly and easily and still eat anyhting you want.

Helpful response: No scientific research supports there is a magic diet pill or supplement. If I want to lose weight, I have to consume fewer calories than I expend.

I read my list of reasons why I want to lose weight, my main reason is I want to be healthy.

Day 3...was Sit down to eat. Wow this was a big one for me.
I have now Sat down Sat, Sun, Mon, Tues.

I am thourougly enjoying this work book.

Response Card one,,,,Do it anyway.

Response card two,,,,Give myself Credit

I deserve credit every time I exercise. I deserve credit every time I practice a dieting skill. I deserve credit every time I stick to my plan.

response card mindfully

I need to eat slowly and mindfully While sitting down.- Every single time.

Response card 4....It is okay to disappoint people.

I'm entitled to do what I have to do to lose weight, as long as I am nicely assertive.

Response Card 5 Say no to extra food.

Get rid of food. It'll be wasted in the trash can or in my body. Either way, its wasted.

Response Card 6 put dieting first

I have to plan my life around exercise and dieting activities, not vice versa. I deserve to put myself first.

Have a wonderful night everyone.


11-21-2007, 07:07 AM
Ate on plan and took a nice walk in the dark after work yesterday. It was only slightly drizzling, so I could pretend that it wasn't.

My new food is cottage cheese - I got interested because of the thread about it. I've hated it all my life, but that thread got me to remember that I'd never tasted it, just hated the sight and smell of it from childhood. Well, guess what, my tastes have changed since childhood. I liked it. Even tried it toasted on a bagel. It's a great addition to my fridge now. Who woulda guessed, LOL.

Ann (Newlifestyle) - Your review is just what I need. Pound, pound, pound to try to get it into my head. I'm really enjoying it.

Yes, I can disappoint people. Yes, I can put my healthy life style first. Yes, I can give myself credit. "I deserve credit every time I exercise. I deserve credit every time I practice a dieting skill. I deserve credit every time I stick to my plan."

Wasting food remains a challenge for me. How are you handling that? Do you find it easy to discard food?

Karina - Hello - good to see you back. Congratulations on your pg. And double congratulations for having survived the first three months. Hope you have a nurturing continuation and a safe delivery. Look forward to seeing you in the spring.

Perhaps you post will nudge some of the people who started that first inspirational Beck thread in May to drop by and wave.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Congratulations for your last two weeks of sticking to your Beck plan. I understand your thoughts about feeling a bit fragile going into the six person eating adventure ahead. I think Beck would remind you that feeling fragile, like all the others, is just a feeling - it's not necessarily completely true. With these last two weeks of "strengthening your resistance muscle" and with your goal only 0.5 pounds away, and with this group covering your back, I believe you'll be able to bring all of Sue into the battle and emerge still on plan. Will be sending you positive thoughts over the next couple of days

Thank you for the kind words, and for reminding me that I'm in this to make my current habits permanent.

Readers - Experience joy, love your friends and relatives, relish the food, even dance on the table top, AND STILL remain on your plan.

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Completed Beck Program-day 30. 12 to go. Keep going!

11-21-2007, 01:35 PM
HI everyone,

Karina- what great fun to heard from you :carrot: I know you were moving along with finding about the new baby Two of our sons recently had babies-what a delight and joy-but were they busy the first couple of months until the baby got a sleeping and feed schedule. Look forward to hearing from you again. I'll still be here-I am rather slow learner-but am consistently changing those old eating habits. I am 100% sure I'll get to goal and maintaining it using the Beck approach.-just may take a bit of time. This site has been my diet coach and inspiration.

I have the same eating plan-I count calories-I have done WW-but there is not meetings near by for miles-some how online didn't do for me. I figure the more I learn about calories the more I can use it in any food situation.-In our small town I can even ask the cook in the resturant how some thing is made and make a good guess at count of it. Have done super low carbs and seen the weight return rather quickly-even did optifast and regained it all. Those magic diets offer speed but for me never permanent results-I would get bored- and too quickly go back to eating as before-prehaps even a tad more.

You have a great start and make sure to give your self alot of credit for the changes-Learning to sit down and not eat running about. Our family joked that food had no calories went it was eaten standing up at the counter or when running around at work and grabbing a treat. I cook by taste it-rarely follow a recipe so I became very aware of the cal taken while seasoning a dish. I still do some tasting but cut it way back.

Being Mindful of each bite is so important and not that easy to remember as I have spend my life gobbling down my food. One of those very simple can do any time things-but I can "forget" to do.

thanks for your posting and reveiw of the core actions to help us be more healthy.

BillBlueeyes-You have been a great diet coach to me these past months- you educate and support-thanks

I have had a love hate relationship with cottage cheese. Right now I love it-I put frozen Trader Joes blueberries on it with a bit of splenda and it my favorite breakfast! Glad you are finding ways to enjoy the stuff.

It was great reminder that even a sense of panic can be passing. Been working at looking at sadness and anger as just pasting emotions.-but panic feelings still results in great deal of stress. Just need to use the looking process for other emotions.

Today we are in a "old time" craft fair fund raiser for the local art community. It will be open today 5-7pm and then Friday and Sat-. We have worked hard on our birdhouses and feeders-hope we sell some. Although retired school teachers-we both did craft fairs in the late 60's and 70's. kind of fringle hippies then. We would enjoying doing some traveling and do them again.

Have a great holiday tomarrow
enjoy the day even if it not a holiday for you

11-21-2007, 01:37 PM
Karina, congratulations and it is nice meeting you. I am just new here. It was Bill and Sue who made me want to check out the Beck Diet Solution book and workbook.
I am so glad they did.
Good luck with your pregnancy and keep posting with us. I know you aren't dieting right now but it is nice to have a conversation here with others.
You might have some great ideas for us too.

Sue, I do hope Thanksgiving day is a wonderful experience for you. I think for me now when I get to holidays, I hope I am eating mindfully. I know I would just eat my food and talk later. I am starting to learn that conversation and putting my fork down between bites helps me. I hope this sticks on holidays.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Bill, I have not mastered throwing food out off of my plate as I measure every thing. That is from WW. I am going to try and practice putting extra food on my plate and then throwing it out. It was a lightbulb moment when I read that I am wasting food whether I waste it by putting it in my body or waste it in the garbage. I would much rather waste it in the garbage, when she puts it that way. In a restaurant I have no problem, it is at home. People laugh when they come to my house as I use measuring cups to serve food. People have become use to it. When I go to others, I try to make sure half my plate is vegetables, 1/4 meat and 1/4 pasta or potatoes. When it is something I can't really judge like a casserole, I try to measure out about a fistful because it is about a cup. Since one meal didn't cause me to gain this weight, this has been working for me, until I find a new solution in this book.
This book makes so much sense to me.
I hope I am this excited about it when I get to day 30 like you Bill.

I want to say I wish you all a happy Thanksgiving.

I am truly thankful I found this thread. I wouldn't have got the book except you both piqued my interest.


11-21-2007, 01:46 PM
Hi Sue, we crossed posts, I do hope your day is wonderful and that you enjoy the craft fair fundraiser.

Oh yes you reminded me, after reading about the cottage cheese, I went out and bought some. It is delicious. I didn't think I liked cottage cheese, who knew, it is great and a lot of protein.

Have a wonderful day

11-22-2007, 07:20 AM
Had a good gym day yesterday. I've increased the weight of the dumbbells for the chest press to 40 pounds, so I've dropped down to 2 sets of 10 from 2 sets of 20 at 35 pounds. Because friends have insisted that the value of resistance exercise is TOTALLY LOST unless you consume serious protein within 30 minutes, I had salmon and cottage cheese on toasted tortillas for my post workout snack. The same friends insist that only whey protein can get into the blood stream fast enough for the "window of opportunity" to regrow the damaged muscles. Therefore, according to them, this was a wasted workout with no benefit. Is this for real? Does anyone passing through here know, or should I take this question to one of the exercise threads?

Working on my frame of mind for dinner today. Trying to wake up that peevish part of me that delighted in losing 2 pounds during Thanksgiving week a couple of years ago when I started.

I have decided to try pumpkin pie. I just remembered that I've never liked pumpkin pie because I didn't like winter squash. Now that I absolutely love winter squash, maybe pumpkin pie is my next new food. Besides, it has about half the calories of other pies, particularly my old favorites: mince meat and pecan.

Do thin people, or people who think like thin people plan for Thanksgiving dinner like going into battle, covered (like Sue) in the armor of Response cards in every pocket? What do thin people think about for the 24 hours before Thanksgiving dinner? Inquiring minds need to know. Earworm: "Wonder what the king is doing tonight?

Ann (Newlifestyle) - Your comments on wasted might just be the thing for me. I've made myself a new daily read Response Card:Excess food is wasted if I toss it and wasted if I eat it. Choose my wasted.

Sue (CoastalSue) - It helps me to know you are working your feelings stuff. Beck is so clear that we can use the seven questions technique for sabotaging thoughts. Wondering if that would work for feelings also.

ummmmm... thinking about cottage cheese and frozen blue berries. I've got cottage cheese in the cheese part of my brain. This will require that I also put it in the yogurt part of my brain.

Hope your bird houses were appreciated at the craft fair. Can you post a picture of them?

Readers - Enjoy. Mindfully. Enjoy. Mindfully. Enjoy. Mindfully.

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Completed Beck Program-day 30. 12 to go. Keep going!

11-22-2007, 07:56 AM
Good morning

Bill, I would ask in the exercise thread. I know my doctor told me to eat protein within a half hour after working out. The doctor suggested apples and peanut butter. Have you found it difficult to maintain? You have done well.
I think for me this Beck Diet Solution should be called the Beck Solution because I see how I can fit this totally into my life. Being aware of everything. It is like my eyes were closed and now are open.

Sue, I do hope your craft fair went well. I too would love to see your bird houses if you have pictures. You are doing awesome on your journey. Look how far you have Give yourself credit for this.

Day 4 - Build Your Confidence

This chapter speaks of one of the biggest problems for dieters which is a sense of helplessness either by the scale not going down or by straying on their diet.
Beck speaks of needed to build a sense of confidence in your abilities to do what you set out to do (lose weight).

We need to give ourselves credit and practice this habit. She goes on to ask what you would say to a friend if they did something and you thought they deserved credit for it. Beck wants us to say whatever we would say to our friend to say to ourselves and to keep practicing this. She mentions putting a special bracelet or rubber band on your wrist to remind yourself to give yourself credit.
She also reminds us we need to watch out for self criticism that could undermine our confidence.

Sabotaging Thought is I haven't really done anything that difficult so far.

Helpful response in book is It doesn't matter whether the changes I make are easy or difficult. I need to get in the habit of giving myself credit to build up my sense of effectiveness and control.

Sabotaging thought- is that it seems childish to praise myself.

Helpful response: It is not childish, it's absolutely essential to my success to recognize my achievements. Not giving myself credit in the past didn't lead to permanent weight loss.

Day 5 - Slow Down and Be Mindful


By taking small bites and chewing slowly

Finish chewing and swallowing each bite before you put more food on your fork

Put your utensils down between every few bites and then count to 10 before you pick them up again

Take a sip of water every minute or two

I will try and eat mindfully today.

Have a wonderful day.

11-22-2007, 02:26 PM
Dear Beck Buddies,

Thanks for your interest in our first real fair-We did rather well for this small community and with a total attendance of about 100 including other helpers/volunteers for the fair. We are lucky that we can met our monthly expenses but have very lttle left over for play or purchases -These birdhouses do fit our love of doing projects together, and may earning enough to travel and cover that expense going to other places in Northern Calif to sell them. Back to one of Willie great songs-"On the Road Again".

Ann, great posting as I was lying in bed this morning working on forgiving myself for last night over induglence. Last night we were excited and exhausted at the fair and there was that old nemesis-free and very taste wines and caloric foods. I have done a great job been adhering to all of the changes for 2 weeks-I am determined that one evening will not undermine all of the changes.

Ann I really had to work on the concept of self praise also-If felt so patronizing to my own self. Kind of telling the preschooler "what a good job" But I am feeling the destruction I can do to myself with so much self criticism. I now do really appreciate and respect myself for working on these changes-Food has been my drug of choice for decades so for true changes I need constant awareness. But in the beginning this self awareness seemed rather self indulgent-a big no-no in my family (other than with food). Yet being more aware and compassionate to myself only increases my ability to be aware and compassionate to others.

BillblueEyes-Hope you soon get a satifactory answer to working out and eating protein. I have a friend who owns a gym and when I run into him again I'll get his response. It as nice to read the posting "Had a good gym, day yesterday" You have revitalized the workout versus quiting/dreading the gym.

The thin and feasting-My guess based upon my thin DH and other thin friends-it is fun, pleasurable, social time, looking forward to old taste treats-they do overindulge and groan at the end of the meal. Then they stop. Then they automatically undereat for the next couple of days. So by the end of couple of days they are back at their normal weight. I want to keep the overindulgence going-I can automatically over power my own body's desire to return to the be pre-indulgence state. I am using beck strategies re-learn what the thin folks never unlearned.

Day 27 questions and dealing with feelings-I think some of them can work-Any steps which help me to stop, examine and then let go of life's sabotaging feelings is good.

Thanks for the posting and letting me ramble on about they affect me.
Have a great day

would love to share photos of our birdy creation but don't know how to do that yet.

11-23-2007, 06:32 AM
from the Beck DIET Solution: (Available thru the 3FC Store)
Dining-Out Strategies

Tell the Waiter how youíd like your food prepared.

Donít hesitate to ask for substitutions or other special arrangements.

Order smaller portions.

Order an appetizer as an entrťe, or ask if you can get an appetizer portion of an entrťe.

If youíre eating at a buffet or family-style restaurant, look at all food options before filling your plate.

Of the foods allowed on your diet plan, which look the most appealing?

Would you feel more satisfied with very small tastes of several different foods or with lager potions of just a few foods?

Make a decision and then put food on your plate. Remind yourself that this is it Ė no seconds.

Practice what you know.

Eat slowly and notice every bite, even if youíre distracted by your companions and the environment.

When youíre finished eating, make it final.

Arrange the flatware so that the handles rest in the remaining food. If you can, put your paper napkin on your plate. Push your plate away.

Once I start preparing myself in advance for eating out, dieting will be easier.

LOL that Beck recommends the strategy mentioned earlier on this thread by Ann (Newlifestyle) to put your napkin on your plate. I wonder why she states "paper napkin". Is there a reason not to do the same with a cloth napkin?

The buffet remains a challenge for me, although I did well yesterday at Thanksgiving by preparing in advance. The first big hurdle for me is to avoid going back for seconds.

Restaurant sized portions also remain a challenge. Iíve never heard of asking for an appetizer sized portion of entrťe. Has anyone done this? What happened?

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Completed Beck Program-day 30. 12 to go. Keep going!

11-23-2007, 07:06 AM
BIG success at Thanksgiving Dinner !!!!!!!! Giving myself great credit (as Beck directs us to).

I ate one plate - no seconds. a small slice of turkey white meat and the rest vegetable dishes. I ate dessert, rare for me but planned for Thanksgiving: half slice of pumpkin pie, half slice of apple pie, taste size bite of chocolate cake, and small dollop of real whipped cream. The pumpkin pie was a lifetime first and I loved it. (DW is delighted since she has a favorite recipe for pumpkin pudding that she abandoned years ago because I wouldn't eat it.)

Took a short, hostess-led walk between dinner and dessert (about two miles). This felt soooo good, but, of course, made the stomach feel ready for dessert.

Ann (Newlifestyle) - Like the reminder from Day 4 to give ourselves credit. I just did so. So, in addition, I give myself credit for giving myself credit.

And, liked the reminder that Beck stresses the importance of avoiding the feeling of helplessness. For me, that's got to be one of the biggest ideas that Beck keeps pounding and pounding. As long as we don't feel helpless, we have access to our problem solving brains and our choice making brains and that portion of our brains that can make the critical observations such as: that's just a feeling and it may not be completely true.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Glad to hear your sales went OK. I'll start working on a new image of Sue and DH as mature hippies "On the Road Again."

I, too, feel like I'm patronizing myself when I give myself credit. Ill try to keep doing it here; in real life I think people would think me weird for saying that I didn't go back for seconds at Thanksgiving, LOL. Hope you can find the magic for making the patronizing feeling go away. OK, in real time I'll try this: It's just a feeling,
it may not be completely true,
people have never laughed at you for straight forward credits in the past,
they may even want to tell you that they once didn't have seconds also. Good enough, that's my start.

Readers - Yesterday is done. Give yourself credit or just say Oh, Well. You are not helpless; you remain in control of today.

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Completed Beck Program-day 30. 12 to go. Keep going!

11-23-2007, 10:44 AM
Good morning Bill, Sue, Karina and any lurkers out there.

I can't believe I didn't see this site sooner. Maybe I just wasn't ready. I am so excited to read the posts each day. The posts help me out so much.
Sue and Bill you have truly made a difference in my life by your posts. Did I tell you how much I appreciate you both....well I do.

Day 6 - meet with your diet coach

Let your diet coach know your weight change plus or minus
Successes and accomplishments in both dieting and exercise
Any Problems you may have
Situations that may arise.

Beck mentions if you are tempted to skip this assignment "Do it anyway"

Sabotaging thought.....I can do this on my own

Helpful response....It's a million times more likely that this time I'll be able to lose weight and keep it off if I have to report to my coach and get help when I need it.

day 7 Organizing your environment

it is important to get rid of items you find difficult to resist and to stock your kitchen with healthy food.

sabotaging thought....I don't want to ask others to make changes

Helpful the beginning, I have to minimize food triggers. and it is good practice for me to stand up for myself.

have a wonderful day.

11-23-2007, 03:03 PM
Watch that "lurker language". No, I deserve it. I used to post here, but have run hot and cold.....on the thread, and on Beck. But, I am assembling my Beck in-person user group. It is my only hope of getting the weight back off. I have 2 recruited..lost first friend to sign on got a great new position and is moving. It will be tough staying in touch...she moves fast! lol

Hope to stay in touch with y'all.....I have great affection for those of you who have been faithful...for now, gotta getting a special delivery and I am sooo excited! A pickup load of horse poop. Not just any horse poop..... well-AGED horse poop, and from my very own otta work off some turkey!

11-23-2007, 04:10 PM
Hi MaryBlu,

Good to hear from you. You were one of the people into Beck when I first learned about her book and ordered it back in September 2007. You introduced me to the fact that Judith Beck is the daughter of Aaron Beck and that Cognitive Therapy was an OK idea. Thanks for helping me to get started.

And I believe it was you who brought Insalada Caprese to the boards. Also remember that you had many gardens that consumed much happy time.

So, I understand how a load of aged horse manure would be a thrill. When my DW got a few bag fulls from a friend a few months ago I never thought I'd seen her such a happy woman. All for some horse sh*t she loudly proclaimed. A whole pick up load would likely blow her circuits.

Good luck convening your Beck group. I do hope you continue to post here as you have time; it's a small posting group right now and we're all beginners finding our Beck way in the dark. Additional perspective is welcome.

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Completed Beck Program-day 30. 12 to go. Keep going!

11-24-2007, 12:50 AM
Hello all,

Hey, Minnesota Maryblu-great you dropped in-These "simple"Beck exercises are tough to do every day but they are the basis of some real changes. So glad to hear about the latest "poop" about you. Stay in touch and chime in any time.

BliiBlueEyes-sound like a great Thanksgiving-all your preplanning worked. I am glad to read about your success. This is a spot to acknowlege and give your self credit-it can be kind of wierd with others-either thins don't understand and the unthin can feel criticized they didn't do the same. One is never sure what their response will be but you always deserve the credit. Maybe even beck's credit ideas is starting to get into my head-difficult at 1st but getting a bit easier. Yep, let go of the negative/undeserving feelings. Hey, when you are good you are good and You did Good!

Ann, I am such a firm believer in organizing the environment-This has been the key to my success-My home is filled with low cal, healthy, unprocess foods-It has been a hugh help. No more fooling my self that I'll get cookies of Dh-which I eat 3/4 and he gets 1/4 He continually forgets about the treats and I can't forget them. I still really flounder in food rich places. This is where I need to conquor desire and cravings.

We did another day of the fair we are doing very well-I think we may have a winner in this stuff. Now to find other good shows for us. It has been great fun.

I twisted my back about 2 days ago and have a great deal of pain. We have one more day at the fair and I really look forward giving the back a good rest-unsure of how because it hurts in all positions. We are eating the "wrong" stuff -purchased burritos because just can't fix dinner once we are home plus have some treats at the fair-a bit of self pity food. thanksgiving did go well-They had some tiny salad plate but my Dh put salad on half of plate along turkey and some green veggies.(BillBlueEyes-one of your ideas) I could not even move out of the chair due to my back. I brought a thermos of iced decaf black tea-I like the astrigentic taste of wine and this was the replacement. But the entire evening was truly great fun-I wasn't perfect but a vast improvement over other food affairs. I am learning but have not mastered the lessons.

due to pain, stress, excitement, a sense of being pushed (completing a lot of birdhouse in a short time period) and a holiday-I am may end up putting on a few lbs but they will be off by the end of next week. Today I was 2 lb up-every a couple 100 cals over my daily allotment does a lot of damage at the scales-

11-24-2007, 06:23 AM
from the Beck DIET Solution: (Available thru the 3FC Store)

Decide About Drinking

Drinking alcohol is an individual choice. If you want to fit drinking into your diet, you need to plan your alcohol intake in advance, just as you plan your food intake.

The Facts About Alcohol

Unfortunately alcohol contains calories Ė a lot. At 7 calories per gram, itís nearly double as caloric, gram for gram, as protein and carbohydrates (both of which are about 4 calories per gram). Plus, most of the mixers that go into alcoholic drinks are highly caloric. One mixed drink can easily contain 400 calories.

Whatever you decide to do about alcohol is fine, as long as:
ē You donít skimp on food.
ē You plan when and how much youíll drink.
ē You calculate beforehand how caloric the drink is.
ē You donít allow alcohol to lead to unplanned eating.

TIP: When you drink, notice and enjoy every sip. Drink slowly so itíll last longer. As soon as youíve finished your drink, order a no-calorie beverage, so you wonít be tempted to order another alcoholic beverage.

For me, I enjoy my favorite non-alcoholic beverages both at home and out. I know that I can always change my mind for special celebrations. And, the role of designated driver seems to be always welcome. YMMV.

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Completed Beck Program-day 31. 11 to go. Keep going!

11-24-2007, 07:12 AM
It still remains a challenge for me to give myself credit, as Beck would have us do. So I'll bask a second day in my choices for eating on Thanksgiving: I ate on plan at Thanksgiving Dinner, in a large group, with a huge buffet of tasty food. I tasted all the items that were special, for me, for the day. I avoided the foods that I could easily have again soon. I mindfully filled my plate and didn't have seconds (perhaps a lifetime first for Thanksgiving). CREDIT moi.

And, I took home a small serving of turkey so that I had my all time favorite thing: a left over turkey sandwich for lunch the next day. I decided to try making a "dressing", as mentioned on another thread. I planned cottage cheese and horseradish, but we were out of horseradish so I used garlic. It was interesting, but not a candidate for the county fair. Will try again with horseradish.

Did gym with a small increase in the number of repetitions in my chest press routine. CREDIT moi. Took a long walk and a short walk. CREDIT moi. Walked to the store after dinner for bananas for breakfast; found then on sale for $0.35/lb. and red bell peppers on sale for $0.99/lb. I was SOOOOOO happy. Amazes me how little it takes to make me happy, LOL.

Ann (Newlifestyle) - "Successes and accomplishments in both dieting and exercise". Thanks for posting the justification for me wallowing in congratulating myself.

"It is important to get rid of items you find difficult to resist and to stock your kitchen with healthy food." That works for me. When there are no oatmeal raisin cookies in my pantry, I don't crave them. When apples, soy nuts, and grapefruit are visible, that what I eat for snacks. Duh !!! If it takes reading a book by a Ph.D. for me to see the obvious, so be it. Oh, Well.

Sue (CoastalSue) - So happy to hear the bird houses are being appreciated. Congratulations. And, the more they sell, the sooner you'll hit the road and make it to Boston.

Sorry to hear that your back continues to be a problem. I've been there, it's a big deal. I wish you well.

MaryBlu - It's hard for me to type "horseradish" and not think of your post. Thanks for the thoughtworm, LOL.

Readers - Thanksgiving is history. May you enjoy Saturday with on-plan eating, on-plan drinking, and on-plan exercise.

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Completed Beck Program-day 31. 11 to go. Keep going!

11-24-2007, 07:50 PM
MaryBlu - It's hard for me to type "horseradish" and not think of your post. Thanks for the thoughtworm, LOL.

Anytime, I can amuse, I am happy. Actually, horseradish is another passion of mine. The neighbors make the best.....we have been known to just eat it with a spoon! A teary process, but sooooooo good. I keep thinking that science will find some extra special health benefit for horseradish. For now, being a low fat alternative to mayo will have to suffice.

Sue: I hope you find some relief for your back pain. That is the worst.

I am looking forward to getting back on track with Beck. First, though, I have to finish The Omnivore's Dilemma. It certainly gets one thinking about the food supply and what we are eating. The way we are doing things makes no sense. I am to the hopeful part now and enjoying it immensely. I highly recommend it. It is by Micheal Pollan, and he is way cool.

P.S. The horse poop was as good as expected.:D

11-25-2007, 01:01 AM
Hi guys,

I like horseradish-but the fresh stuff is really powerful -made some once and cried.

Good news-Back pain starting to lessen-now more stiff -trying to get a massage tomarrow. The craft fair went very well-better than I had hoped-so we have some ways to cope with the big increase in medical insurance monthly permiums. May even be able to take some trip-BillBlueEyes would love to get to Boston. Heard it is a great city. PS garlic and cottage cheese sounds a bit scary-

Bad new-no energy for pre planing and making meals and feeling hungry-other words a rather food overindulgent couple of days. Do know that this pattern is harmful so back to beck and 1500 cals tomarrow. I do so well in my home calm controlled environment-just got to improve those skills away from home and when we have guests.

Read your posting on Alcohol-Alcohol and sugar are interchangeable for me-all the same results. I actually can have an easier time measuring out 2-4 ozs of alcohol and stop than if I include any sugar in my diet, and they were selling some excellent fruit cake and started eating some. I then got the Oh Well-since I have already screwed up -just have a bit more.

Bananas are never down to .35 in our area- great deal-Someone said that the Nearest Safeway-over 55 miles away is the most expensive in the USA.

Oh Well to screwing up again and hello Beck and all the steps to gain control and lose weight starting tomarrow.

best to you all

11-25-2007, 07:11 AM
from the book, the Beck DIET Solution: (Available thru the 3FC Store)
Whether youíre traveling for business or pleasure, you can stay in control if you plan a strategy before you go.

Making a Travel Plan

About a week before your trip, create a diet strategy. I want you to think about this in advance so that you can remind yourself of it every day before you leave. Ö If your eating rules are too strict, you might get fed up and abandon your diet altogether. A better strategy might be one of the following:ē Allow yourself a few hundred extra calories every day. (This is what I do.)
ē Follow your usual plan every day but add minor splurges on a few occasions.
ē Follow your diet every day except for a splurge on the last day.

How Not to Gain Too Much
Exercise more.
Eat brunch instead of breakfast and lunch.
Carry food with you.
Use the strategies youíve already learned.

During the Trip Home

Make your trip home your symbolic transition from vacation eating to dieting.

Plan what youíre going to eat for the rest of the day as well as tomorrow. Many dieters try to quickly undo their weight gain by overly restricting their eating when they return. Avoid this temptation because it will put you at risk for overeating within a few days.

Travel remains a challenge for me. The strategy, ďadd minor splurges on a few occasions,Ē tends to work for me, except when I fall for some food Iíd NEVER eat at home. For example, last trip I accepted 6 chocolate mints after dinner from a grateful waitress who liked her tip (most of the other dinners were locals). Her gratitude didnít constitute an obligation on my part, yet I ate all 6 like I had no choice.

On a recent trip, I ate about double what I wanted at a restaurant because it was inconceivable to me to leave food on my plate, and let it go to waste. For my three day trip starting Friday, my weapon for this is my new Response Card: Excess food is wasted if I toss it and wasted if I eat it. Choose my wasted.

I eat every snack offered by an airline, as if eating the processed, artificial, quasi-pretzels will offset the large $$$$ of the ticket. I'll even eat two when the flight isn't full and the cabin crew is handing out doubles. Planes are the only place I drink tomato juice, reveling in its good-for-me nutrition and good taste while ignoring the salt hit. Oh, well.

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Completed Beck Program-day 32. 10 to go. Keep going!

11-25-2007, 07:47 AM
I'm planning a three day trip starting this Friday, so will get a chance to work on the traveling strategies. Exercise tends to be difficult; I have a hard time breaking away to do some walking. I still haven't adopted a set of resistance routines, such as push ups, to do in my hotel room. Don't understand my resistance to doing that, but I just don't do it. I'll think about making that a Beck-style NO CHOICE item for this trip. hmmmmm.

Got in a nice walk with friends to see the winter ducks yesterday. All showed up as expected, as well as a Rough-legged Hawk, which isn't very common for me. We have lots of Red-tailed Hawks and many Coopers Hawks, but not so many Rough-legged Hawks. Also saw a Snipe fly right overhead; that's another not very common site for me.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Great news that you back pain is starting to lessen. And great news about your bird house sales.

Maybe some of the tips in Program-day 32 will be helpful when you are planning your next crafts fair. Sounds like a crafts fair combines tension, fun, lack of food choices, and being tired all at once. Easy to see that it's a difficult situation to plan.

By, the by, what size hole do you drill for the entrance? Do you design as a nesting box for a specific species?

Ann (Newlifestyle) - Waving. Hope your Thanksgiving was a joy and that you're recovering in style.

MaryBlue - I'm really glad I read The Omnivore's Dilemma. It serves as a Beck-like reminder to me that I don't want to go near a typical fast food place. The section on the good foods made me very happy, even though we don't tend to buy the nationally distributed organic fruits and vegetables. (We buy the local stuff that is very low spray, near-organic.)

How do you make horseradish sauce? I didn't know anyone did that. We run out because DW says that it spoils before we consume the whole jar, so she tends not to buy it until she has a recipe that calls for it.

Readers - May your Sunday be peaceful.

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Completed Beck Program-day 32. 10 to go. Keep going!

11-25-2007, 09:21 AM
Good morning,

Sue I do hope your back pain goes away completely. It is great your birdhouses are doing so well.

Maryblu, Hello and it is nice to read your posts.

Bill, when you go on holidays, is there a treadmill you could use or could you walk stairs to get your walking in. I remember one vacation I went on, they told us not to venture too far from the hotel by ourselves so I ran around the outside of the hotel. The staff thought this was the funniest thing they had ever seen.

Week 2
Day 8 - Make Time

Losing weight takes time and energy.
Exercise 30 minutes three times a week.
This is the day you make a sample daily Schedule and a Priority Chart.
I think this may be useful. I don't feel like doing it. I will refer to response card one.....Do it anyway.

On the sabotaging thought I was thinking, I would rather let things happen as they do instead of planning.

Helpful Response: I have to learn the skill of scheduling now in preparation for more hectic times.....this is so true, if I have a plan I can get through anything.

Day 9 Get moving

commit in writing to make exercise a priority

I always thought you needed to exercise for at least 30 minutes at once.

The truth is five minutes is better than no minutes

Day 10 Set achievable goals

It is better to set goals that you will reach rather than setting goals that seem so far off. The example is to lose 5 pounds. That seems more attainable than to lose 50 pounds

have a wonderful day everyone


11-25-2007, 09:57 PM
It's not Black Monday, nor Monday, Monday, for most of us wayword types, it is simply "Full Monday" coming up. I actually hardly ate anything today; just feel bloated. I know that a big part of that is the insideous sodium laced into everything processed. It really is a health threat. If something causes the body to retain water, that is a defensive response; inflammation is no good.

I am ready to be compliant ...will report on my success with Fat Smash as plan A. I have to start something, and I like the detox part of the original Fat Smash. I felt great on it.

I know I am not supposed to dive right in, but I have to. I am just feeling too stuffed.

BillBlue, I probably should not have said horseradish sauce. What they do is simply to grind their own root and their secret ingredient is a touch of honey. As I under stand it, the grinding process is quite ..shall we say, "harsh"? Teary process. No problem with it spoiling at my house; it goes on everything 'til it's gone.

Good thoughts to you all.

11-25-2007, 10:26 PM
Hi guys,

thanks for the support on the back-still rather painful but did have a great massage-she really isolated one long muscle in the back that is strained and full of knotts. With more time it will get better.

Ann, so true about planning when things get more hectic-One of my biggest downfall-always do well at home when doing my regular schedule-
My dieting success is the inverse of how busy things are in my life and/or cooking for company. This is really slows my down to get this weight off quicker. I was really thinking about would to do next time-Make a hugh pot of some lower cal dish-chili con carne or gumbo-Have that ready versus buying a burrito. Being too tired to cook is death to my planned meals.

BillblueEyes-good luck on your trip. I wish I could offer some wise advice on why one overeats, eats the wrong stuff, even eat stuff you don't really like and normally never would touch. I feel so trapped on planes-sit this tiny confined space with my knees in pain, trying to barely use the arm rest and smelling that stale air-in that mode I am likely to eat any place in front of me to lessen the tension and/or especially Boredom. This all follows hours waiting in a number of lines to get processed in one way or another. That whole hurry up and wait thing. Truly it all is just a hugh pain.

I really feel that Beck is hard to do all the time and everywhere-Not that isn't worth the effect, but it truly takes increditable effort. I get thrown by the unexpected-the nice gesture of waitress was a surprise after you likely worked at having not bread, butter not dessert-My mind would go how nice of her, that was a fun thing to do-I focus on her actions and then I do the "automatic" eating of the candy. It kind of gets under my radar.

It is real art to catch all of our sabotaging thoughts. When things are hectic and I need to get alot done, I am more focused on what is happening around me than what is happening IN ME. I also feel I have decades of using food as quick easy reward-The kid in me would have immediately gone GoodyGoody at the sight of the unexpected candy. My pattern is to rewarded myself for doing long hard tasks with foods.. It is tough to replace food with positive self talk. Even an old McDonald's phrase was You deserve a break today-I don't think they meant a nap.

Good Luck and let me know things that work for you.

We do make the birdhouse for a number of nesting birds here in Northern Cal coast. We have alot of titmouses, bluebirds, wrens, and ckickadees. There are specific guidelines for the size of the hole, the cavity, and location for the hole. We also have some red tail hawks in our area-we can see the cormorants get fish from the ocean and take off with them.

MaryBlu I want to read that book also-ordering from the library.


11-26-2007, 06:52 AM
Got a haircut when didn't want to do anything else - that's a good Beck strategy put in practice. Ate and walked on plan close enough. CREDIT moi. But had two incidents that catch me by surprise.

At a coffee hour on Sunday, I cut up some Entemann's coffee cake and put it out. Didn't sample. Didn't take a serving. However, when the empty platter returned to the kitchen to be washed, instead of dumping the crumbs, I ate them. I just stuffed them into my mouth. :( Not that many calories, but just SO unnecessary, SO unplanned, SO out of control. That's a challenge for me to work.

A similar thing happened while shopping at Whole Foods. They cut open a whole 80 pound wheel of Parmesan cheese - a spectacular event with much fanfare and great smells and ooohs and aaaahs from the crowd. They offered samples with a fine pear preserve. Really tasty, and on my food plan to eat samples of unusual or expensive foods. BUT, I went back and had seconds. :( Again, the calories are easily absorbed as my afternoon snack, slightly large. But, it annoys me because taking seconds in NOT on plan. Oh, Well.

MaryBlu - Thanks for the title for my post today. I share your feeling about the aftermath of too much processed foods. But, I don't think about it, perhaps because I don't have a name for it. Can you think of a name for "processed foods blah?"

Looking forward to hearing about Fat Smash; I know nothing about it but am positively prejudiced because of the neat name. "Calorie Smash" just doesn't do it, LOL.

I may try the grinding horseradish route, if I can get my DS interested. He's the most tolerant to food heat in our family.

Ann (Newlifestyle) - LOL at you walking around the hotel. I once stayed in a hotel in Los Angeles where they didn't recommend walking outside. Kinda creepy feeling. The treadmill is a good idea; it would be a change of pace for me.

Making Time is becoming an issue for me. I keep adding things to my life and feel squeezed. It's about making choices and dealing with the childish notion that just because I'm capable of thinking of more than 24 hours worth of stuff a day, that makes me different and in need of more time. Making time is about making choices.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Useful insight for me there: the unexpected grabs me. Thanksgiving Dinner was an easy success because I planned it for a week in advance. The mints offered by the waitress came with no time to plan a response, and my automatic response was to eat FREE food. Yes, working the Beck strategies "always and everywhere" is a challenge. I'm going to put some extra effort into identifying unexpected situations so that I can work out some strategies to respond.

Your nesting boxes sound so cool. I'd love to have a Bluebird box. Probably because I'd love to have a meadow that attracted Bluebirds. In my current yard, a Bluebird box would hang, unused, right next to the wistful-thinking-hummingbird-feeder.

Readers - "Full Monday". Full life.

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Completed Beck Program-day 32. 10 to go. Keep going!

11-26-2007, 09:55 PM
Happy Monday everyone,
Maryblu, good luck with your Fat smash diet plan. I know nothing about it. I know for me I chose ww at first but now calorie counting seems to make more sense to me.

Sue, I know when I am really busy during the day, I try to make something healthy in the crockpot and then it is ready for me once I get home. I also pack a lunch bag so that I am not tempted by the smell of food. I am not tempted because I don't let myself get really hungry. I pack healthy snacks. I am only allowed to eat from this lunch bag. I find if I plan it, it works. As I write this and read it, I am thinking I may have some compulsive disorder or something. My Dh is laughing at me when I told him what I wrote. He said, "you don't really tell people about packing your lunch bag, they will think you are strange." I may be strange but I find if I plan it works for me.

Bill, I think it is difficult when you aren't expecting something and then it happens, the planned stuff seems easier. I know at Costco, they have samples but since I know this I go in and don't give myself the right to sample anything. I am afraid that if I do, it may be a trigger for me. Wow I realize I have food rules...oh my, I think I need a book on something else.
Beck sure makes me think a lot.

I do hope you all have a wonderful evening.
Take Care

11-26-2007, 10:14 PM
Day 11 - Learn the Difference Betwen Hunger, Desire, and Cravings
Today I am going to learn a very important skill, I am going to learn the difference between just wanting to eat, actually being hungry, and having a craving.

Sabotaging thought: I know when I'm hungry and when I'm not. I don't need to fill out a chart.

Helpful Response: Chances are, I sometimes have a desire or craving but label it as hunger, which gives me an excuse to eat. Monitoring the difference today on a chart will make it more likely that I won't be able to use this excuse in the future and end up gaining weight.

I really think I will need the (Do it anyway card).

Day 12 Prove you can Tolerate Hunger and Cravings

You need to recognize that hunger and cravings are uncomfortable, but not nearly as uncomfortable as other things you have experienced in your life.

Okay I think this day will need more work. I don't want to go all day without eating. I will have to talk myself into this. Oh wait the fine print says check with your doctor that it is okay to do this. I have to find a doctor that says no....ha ha.

This one I will have to work on.....

11-26-2007, 11:07 PM
Helllo All,

Ann you are not strange but awesome for all of your preplanning. I want and need "complusive" organizational skills. I like the idea that you can only eat what is in your bag-we made one sandwich each on day of the fair but it was not enough-should have added some fruit-more for a late afternnon snack-But being too hungry about 4:40 that opened us up to the idea of having some of the treats at the fair.

I get kind of scattered when my rountine is changed-that was what the hugh push for the craft fair did for me. When I am in a busy/stressed new situation, tend to fall back on old ingrained habits. I am having difficulty transfering what I learned at home to hectic food stimulating environments. Working on it but not consistant enough and have slowed down my losing rate.

I really like the idea of only eat what is in the bag. thanks- going to use it in the future. PS this is way we post here so those thins don't think we are boring /strange and help each other win in losing weight. thanks

Maryblu-could you share some info on fat smashers? How do you detox?

BillblueEyes-Work on forgiving your minor slip ups-good. But how the heck do we stop this "quicky" bites in new places. particuliary if it is quality foods-I would forgo some poorly made frozen stuff-but a fine cheese with pear gets me curious. This is actually how sometimes I learn to use new foods for new tastes. Had BBQ white peaches with blue cheese and thought they were great-nice easy but elegant fairly low cal dessert.

since you had the plan-what would could have reminded you to stop the second helping? I ask as I am trying to some visual clue to stop over eating when out of the house. I am so good when I near my scales and recording as I am going along-Am I truly just being rebelious when out of the house or when we have guests- Maybe if I can record every bite in a small notebook even when I am around guests ( boy that would be wierd to do a dinner party) or when I am out for a meal. Anyway trying to figure out some back up to when I don't catch the sabatoging thoughts.

laying low today as we both got bad colds and I re-annoyed my back last night. I hope to be up by Wed.

Billblueeyes-I am surprised that the hummingbird feeder isn't busy-wrong time of year? Ours are year round here. They love the nastursiums which are prolific here.

good thoughts to all

11-27-2007, 06:50 AM
Ate on plan but little exercise due to over booked schedule yesterday. Oh, well.

Really enjoyed Clementine's for my evening snack yesterday. It's the season to always have a box of them in the fridge. Makes the whole fridge look healthy. Last Saturday we had Clementine's in the car during our outing; I looked forward to the first one being peeled; the odor filled the small car with freshness and health. So much joy in such a small package.

Ann (Newlifestyle) - Re: "Wow I realize I have food rules" For me, that's a good thing. My sampling rule is part of my food plan. For example, I skipped (3 times!!) the Cape Cod potato chips set out in Whole Foods. I used to eat them under the rationalization that I was taking care of my need for potato chips - thus avoiding a LARGE consumption later. But, I think that's bogus. I only need potato chips because they're in my face. Skipping them didn't leave me feeling deprived.

Your lunch bag seems like a stellar idea. You bring a portable food environment. You can look forward to the snacks in the bag. Other food temptations are reduced. Since I take my lunch and 2 snacks to work each day, that seems logical to me. Just ignore those thins who think it odd, LOL.

The notion of Desire helped me, especially when about to serve myself seconds because food was visible, or because others were having seconds. I had previously thought that I was still Hungry. This chapter helped me to be more comfortable with the benefit of staying out of site of the buffet tables and appetizer tables at a party situation. I have a history of hanging around the buffet table.

LOL at you shopping for a doctor who denies you permission to do the hunger exercise. Naughty Ann, LOL. I initially thought that exercise was sorta dumb - I've skipped lunch before. But my memory of skipping lunch is about how hungry I had been. When I did the exercise, I was surprised that the hunger passed in about 15 minutes, and I didn't think about hunger until the time of my afternoon snack. What I learned from that changed my concept of being hungry - it's just a feeling, which may not be completely true (or may not need emergency response). Now, I'm really glad I did the exercise, and recommend it to anyone who reads the Beck book.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Ouch on your re-annoyed back; wish you fast healing.

It does sound like you would benefit from packing a larger "bag" when tackling a fair. You might have to pack it the evening before if you're likely to skip it because the morning is so busy.

In Massachusetts we have Ruby Throated Hummingbirds in season - no others at all. But even so, they have never found my small city yard. "Prolific nasturtiums" !!!! Don't I wish.

MaryBlu - Waving.

Readers - Hunger is not an emergency. It's a feeling. The next meal/snack is scheduled soon.

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Completed Beck Program-day 32. 10 to go. Keep going!

11-27-2007, 09:50 PM
Oh, thank you, Sue for asking about Fat Smash. It is such a healthy way to eat. I never did buy the book; I just followed what the 3FC review said to do. Was probably the best, because from what I understand, there is some confusion caused by following the book. So, here in a nutshell is what I have interpreted to be Phase I detox..follow for 9 days, then add some meat, fish, South Beach Phase II... When you dofollow PI, you get about 1300 to 1400 calories and more than 35 gms. of fiber.

Unlimited fruits and vegetables..cooked or uncooked. Just no potatoes or avocados..may use a little bit of olive oil..some wishbone spritzer for salad, etc. I just use common sense and don't worry about "allowed"..when you run it all through myfitday, it is all low cal,low fat, and high fiber.

2 glasses of skim milk per day, if desired
2 6-oz servings of yogurt if sugar, low fat
1 c. old-fashioned oatmeal, if desired
2 c. (up to 2 cups) of brown rice, if desired
4 egg whites (up to 4, if desired)

So a typical day for me always includes kefir (instead of yogurt)..low fat, plain

Oatmeal, milk, frozen blueberries

citrus fruit

apple (still have my own dear Honeycrisps)

roasted vegetables..especially kale or cauliflower
egg white/hominy/bean/onion/pepper stir fry

There is a Fat Smash thread...and the 3FC review....just don't get too hung up in "allowed" can't lose with the basics

The only tough part for me, and it is a bugger, is that I do biz lunches at least 2 times per week..and it is usually something already arranged...really tough

Bill, glad you can talk someone into tackling the horseradish grinding. Have you found any roots? I hear you are supposed to do it only in the months with an "r" in them....for my neighbors, that is "Aurgust"...:^:

11-28-2007, 04:14 AM
hello to you all,

just a short note to wish everyone success. Really been a a big bump today-very sore back and bad cold. I ate very little as have no sense of taste or smell. One of those rare days when food has no appeal to me.

Maryblue thanks for the info-sort of tired of cal counting and bit bored-This FAt Smashers sound like a change-I'll check out the other posting on it. It would get more veggies in me-.

Really been thinking about ordering a small hand held cal counter on line. It is interesting that once I stop recording every bite-when out of the house and when we have company- I then over eat. maybe doing something concrete looking at current cal count would help temper the desire/cravings and the mindless response. I use fitday but it is a bit of pain to have to start the computer after any food and impossible with company or when out.

take care

11-28-2007, 07:02 AM
Ate on plan and had a good gym day yesterday. I increased, just slightly, the number of reps in my chest press with dumbbells. That's important for me because my head gets back into being positive about the gym when I'm improving. CREDIT moi.

Still preparing for my three day trip this weekend. The big deal is because both adult kids and DS's GF are coming with us. I've rented a minivan so we can all drive in one vehicle. Having the standard concern that the rental place won't have the car we've reserved when I go to pick it up Friday morning. There's no benefit to worrying, I know. Does Beck have a chapter on not worrying about the things that aren't under our control?

My computer has crashed a second hard disk within a week, so I'm in recovery mode, including posting without my spell checker. I haven't abandoned completing Beck days, but that may be on hold until I get my computer stabilized and get back from my trip. Day 33 is "Eliminate Emotional Eating", so it's a big one for me to complete. Calling these "complete" seems presumptuous anyway, but I accept that it means "completion of reading the chapter and doing the checklist." Emotional eating is the visible elephant in the living room.

Ann (Newlifestyle) - Waving.

Still pondering Learn the Difference Between Hunger, Desire, and Cravings. Desire is so capable of coming in under my radar, looking like a MUST BE SATISFIED NEED. When I'm prepared, I can see what it is. When I'm caught by surprise, I respond emotionally. It's a good place for me to invest energy trying to identify what's going on before I move my hand to my mouth.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Sorry to hear that the back pain remains, with a cold to add to your distress. Hope it clears up for you.

On the other hand, a few days of having no desire for food isn't such a bad thing, LOL.

MaryBlu - LOL at "Aurgust". Reminds me that I, too, have great skills at rationalization. I used them to support my continuous grazing during my weight gaining years. It's my fear of the resurgence of my rationalization skills that makes me anxious when I start eating two samples at Whole Foods. I've been on my healthy lifestyle journey for 26 months but still feel that the slippery slope is just to the left or right of each foot step.

Thanks for the Fat Smash micro-tutorial. The word "detox" tends to put me off, but, by your description, I can see that it's a period of breaking a habit and it makes good sense.

Readers - May you be on plan today and may you feel comfortable giving yourself credit for doing so.

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Completed Beck Program-day 32. 10 to go. Keep going!

11-28-2007, 10:48 PM
I do, all of you!

BillBlueEyes, special thanks to you for leading us all.....if we all could just focus on Beck everyday, we would be fine. I do know exactly what you mean about "detox" turning you off. The reason I saw the Fat Smash book on the shelf and walked by it for so long is that is seemed so "faddish". Couple that with the link to Biggest Loser or Celebrity Fit Club, or whatever W$%@%^@%$%^ TV reality show to which it is attached, and make it a NO WAY, NO HOW kind of book. I never did buy it, and that was a good thing.......Here is why.......

Apparently, there are some contraditions, not certain "rules" in the book. Lots of the posters on the Fat Smash thread are asking the "Is this allowed?" question. The great thing about following just what the 3FC review outlined is, it is easy and what if you use a bit of olive oil? So what if you use the Wishbone Spritzer? Compared to what most of us ate getting fat, is a little bit of "not allowed" this or that going to keep us from losing wt?


Let's all just do it--whatever we have decided our plan is!!!

11-28-2007, 11:23 PM
Hello all

Maryblu, You are so right.

Also, I like the way you explained the way you do the FS detox. It does seem like it would be healthy for you. Thank you for sharing it.

Hi Bill, I am also thankful you are leading us. Making us accountable, giving us suggestions to help make this journey a bit easier (for lack of a better word). Thank you.

Sue, I do hope your back gets better. I can only imagine it would be really painful.

Day 13 Decrease Hunger and Cravings

Find distraction techniques, that take your attention away from eating.

By skipping or postponing a meal today you can practice these techniques.

Distractions could be taking a shower or bath,
do a crafts project,
work in the garden,
read a book or magazine,
plan a trip.
brush your teeth.

day 14, Get Ready for Tomorrow
Tomorrow I will start my primary diet.
I have to remember that I can modify my diet in advance to have small portions of whatever I want from time to I don't have to overdo it today.
Think of activities you'll need to do tomorrow and for the rest of the week. Whether I need to pack a lunch, grocery shop, need extra time to prepare food.
plan my meals in advance.

I am off to plan my meals for the day.

Have a wonderful evening everyone.


11-29-2007, 02:39 AM
Hi guys,

A rather uncomfortable time for me, but both cold and sore back are getting better. One thing I noticed was without a sense of smell and/or taste I have lost some weight-The only sensation I noticed was hunger. I had no cravings and/or desire-food was just a textured pieces of stuff in a broth. chicken and veggie in broth. Stopped when I felt full-I just did not have all the old responses of-Oh it tasted so good, I smell the onions, ect . eating was so uncomplicated for me-I need to bottle a spray to deaden my taste and scent abilities while I diet. It is so much easier without all the emotions tied to scents and tastes. chocolate is so boring when I can't even taste it.

BillBlueeyes-sorry about your computer-hope that it is fixed soon-Your weekend outing sounds great-It is fun to be with adult children-We see the the individual families but very rarely get us all togther. -sounds very special for you all. Stopping emotional eating is a HUGH task for me to master-I get some improvement and then once an again succumb to it's poisonous charms.

Ann, I have lent my Beck book and please refresh me again about the difference between craving and desire.-If I can see the food-and then want it is that more desire? Anyway how important do you think the labels are? It is the old idea of wanting to eat more than my body can healthly handle. I actually like the day of skipping my lunch-interesting in that hunger really comes and goes and can be forgotten and ignored. I can ignore hunger better than emotional reasons for eating. thanks for your posting and good luck on tomarrow.

MaryBlu So good to have you posting again. here's to success on fat smashers.


11-29-2007, 07:12 AM
Ate on plan yesterday. Took two good walks, Feeling back in the groove. CREDIT moi.

Still preparing for my 3 day weekend like I was traveling to Antarctica. Bringing family to visit family is both comfortable and tense. Cousins are already making their own plans via text messages, so the adults may find our carefully orchestrated plans Overcome By Events when the young adults have skipped out for their own plans, leaving us to babysit. We can be pretty certain though that they will congregate where there is free food.

My brown bag lunch today will be unusually elegant thanks to leftovers: cold broiled tuna, quinoa with black bean with tomatoes, salad. Am already drooling.

Thanks all for your kind words. I, too, am finding this thread very helpful in my journey. I read your posts very carefully, and take your suggestions to heart. We are being diet coaches to one another.

MaryBlu - Thanks for keeping us focused with:so what if you use a bit of olive oil? So what if you use the Wishbone Spritzer? Compared to what most of us ate getting fat, is a little bit of "not allowed" this or that going to keep us from losing wt?For me, the issue isn't an occasional large meal or extra treat. The issue is losing focus on mindful eating. As long as I remain responsible, I'll have access to my ability to recover.

Ann (Newlifestyle) - I can modify my diet in advance to have small portions of whatever I want from time to time. Good to be reminded that Beck is against hard rules about specific foods. Just hard rules about No Choice. If you plan it, you can do it. That works for me given my last several days postings that when caught by surprise, I respond with emotional eating. (I sure look forward to BillBlueEyes putting up Day 33 about Emotional Eating; he really has no excuse to dawdle about.)

Sending good vibes to Ann planning her food for tomorrow.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Ouch Ouch on your back and cold. Sending good thoughts your way.

On the other hand, we could form a company and get rich from your discovery that deadened smell leads to weight loss. The CostalSue Diet Spray will make $$$$millions. You will be on Oprah. The world will think you a genius. We'll have such fun. :)

Readers - There is power in working the Beck plan with a diet coach. And there is always room for one more. [ /font=proselyting]

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Completed Beck Program-day 32. 10 to go. Keep going!

11-29-2007, 03:30 PM
Hello all.

Sue on day 11 it says

Has it been at least a couple of hours since you late ate, does your stomach feel empty and could you feel satisfied if you ate a range of foods? If so you are probably hungry.

Does your stomach feel reasonably comfortable, but you just feel like eating? If so that's probably a desire.

Do you have a strong urge to eat a particular food or kind of food, with a yearning in your mouth, throat, or body? If so that is probably a craving.

I hope that makes sense.

Have a wonderful day everyone.

11-30-2007, 05:37 AM
from the Beck DIET Solution: (Available thru the 3FC Store)
People without a weight problem donít think of eating to feel better.

There is nothing wrong with having negative emotions. Theyíre just natureís way of telling us thereís a problem. Do you think that you canít tolerate negative emotions? You can! Of course, you donít like feeling upset. But negative emotions arenít dangerous. Nothing bad will happen to you. You wonít fall apart. Given enough time, negative emotions Ė just like cravings Ė will subside on their own. You donít have to eat. A negative emotion is not an emergency.

Food can be an effective distractor Ė temporarily. But eating doesnít solve the problem that led to your distress in the first place.

Fortunately, youíve already developed many of the skills youíll need for dealing with emotional eating. Youíll use the same techniques learned to tolerate the unpleasant sensations of hunger and craving and to decrease your urges to eat.
Use Mindset Techniques:
1. Label how youíre feeling.
2. Stand Firm.
3. Donít give yourself a choice.
4. Imagine the aftermath of giving in.
5. Read your Advantages Response Card.

Use Behavioral Techniques:
1. Distract yourself using your My Distraction Activities Chart from Day 13.
2. Drink a soothing no- or low-calorie beverage.
3. Relax Ė use breathing technique

You have to deal with distress in non-food-related ways if you want to sustain permanent weight loss.

The more you practice these mindset and behavioral techniques, the better youíll get at them.

My eating lived here. Fat, happy, and comfortably wallowed here. Especially for tension. Nothing seemed like a better idea than oatmeal raisin cookies to resolve the tension of a problem that was hanging. Nothing was less effective at solving the problem, or of even making the feeling go away. So, of course, Iíd scoff a few more cookies, or cheese and crackers, or Herseyís bars from the vending machine. The more it didnít work, the harder Iíd work at eating to make the feeling go away. Youíd think I deserved some credit for choosing a method of solving the problem and staying the course, LOL. Donít change horses in the middle of a stream.

It never worked, and I always felt worse because of the excess eating. Yet, I continued with the same solution every time I felt the tension.

Itís embarrassing for me to write here how ingrained has been my strategy to use food to attempt to make a feeling go away. It only worked VERY temporarily, but I kept doing it - the very definition of insanity.

Completed Beck Program-day 33. 9 to go. Keep going!

11-30-2007, 09:36 AM
Starting out for my weekend trip in a few minutes. I've just picked up the minivan - we got upgraded to a Chrysler over the Chevy. It's just a bit bigger for the months worth of luggage that always seems to follow us on the shortest of trips.

Glad to get Program-day 33 completed this morning. I recognized that I was dawdling for emotional reasons - it just looked like a hard step. SO, I said, Just Do It, and did. It wasn't so hard to "complete," but might be a continuing challenge to incorporate into my life. This and the next day, Solving Problems, seem to be the core strategies to take with us. Good reason for an emotional response; these strategies are to tackle all the feelings for which I eat. It is a good feeling, however, to feel like we are beginning here to grapple with some hard stuff that may have big payoffs.

For my travels I've adopted a plus 25% eating plan. Two lunches and four snacks in the car are just fine; all food of my selection. Three BIG meals with family present minor challenges because of abundance of food. Two breakfasts at the motel are larger challenges because they are a FREE hot breakfast. I've been known to fall for bad packaged waffles cooked hot right before my eyes, bad pastries sitting in tall stacks, and sausages of unknown origin because they are FREE and I don't eat them at home. So, I'll use most of my extra allocation to get out of breakfast on plan. Am hoping that they have the usual buffet items of hard boiled eggs and mixed fresh fruits. I will start with these and leave less room for the stuff I wish I didn't eat at all.

With any luck, the hotel will have a free internet connection and I'll be able to use your support as always.

Ann (Newlifestyle) - Thanks for the clarification between Hunger, Desire, and Cravings. I had forgotten the strong physical differences.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Hope the back and cold are healing.

MaryBlu - Waving. I'll be traveling with the notion that there isn't anything that I can't eat; but that I'll always eat mindfully.

Readers - Given enough time, negative emotions – just like cravings – will subside on their own. You don’t have to eat. A negative emotion is not an emergency.

Completed Beck Program-day 33. 9 to go. Keep going!

11-30-2007, 10:49 PM
HI guys,

just a short posting to say hello-still in a bit of crabby pain haze-Earlier today I wrote a longer posting and then just closed the window without actually posting what I wrote.

emotional eating in the critical issue for me. Really hope to spend some time on this.

BillBlueEyes sound like you have a great plan for this long weekend-hope you enjoy the gather. I actually send DH down to the hotel buffets-He returns with only acceptable food-I am still at the monkey see, monkey eat level of sabatiging behaviors.

Hi to all
have a good weekend

12-01-2007, 07:53 AM
The December thread is now available:

The Beck Diet Solution Ė December 2007 Ė Group for Support, Discussion, Diet Coach

Completed Beck Program-day 33. 9 to go. Keep going!

12-01-2007, 10:02 AM
Hey coastalsue, I was looking at a book on emotional eating and reading its reviews, saw that a reviewer recommended this one. "The Hunger Within."

I don't know what eating plan you're following, but since I've cut out the white stuff, sugar, (that includes any sugar substitute except an occasional diet soda), no flower, and not refined prepackaged much a nuttin' honey.
I'm feeling so much better emotionally that I'm not even thinking about emotional eating.. (and can I stuff it in without realizing what I'm even doing when I'm upset, or depressed).
Anyway, ain't Beck, just my personal experience. I now release your thread to go back on topic :D