Weight Loss Support - discouraged

View Full Version : discouraged

01-14-2002, 01:58 AM
i don't know where to start. i am grossly obese for my age and height. i am 28 next month. i have 2 children, one 7 and one 5. throughout my teen years, i maintained a constant 150 to 155 pounds. two kids, marriage and all but one semester of college later, here i am 220 and counting.
i could literally eat 24/7. eating is one of my true joys in life. the only thing i enjoy this much is shopping and there is only so much money to shop with. i don't like being fat and lethargic. i don't like not being pretty.
let me pause here to say this... please don't reply to me about how beauty is from within and i need to forget what people think and everything will fall into place. it won't. i am a realist. I am not beautiful on the inside. i am average, if not below. i am certainly not beautiful on the outside. i have short red hair, skin that is white to the point of being almost lavender, freckles, and pounds of fat and skin above my bikini line combined with square hips and breasts so big and flabby that i haven't found a bra that i can afford to handle them yet.
i need help losing weight and getting heathly. i feel as though i'm lost in a sea of weak will and fatty foods. any support would be great. my life style change starts now.

01-15-2002, 01:23 AM
Hi Wendy
I know where you are coming from. It is really hard when you are over weight to feel good about yourself. We can't give up though we have to keep fighting. We can do it we have to keep on track. I have started today watching what I eat (except the cake I had after supper)but I am not going to get discouraged because I slipped. Tomorrows a new day. Everyday it will be hard but we have to take it one day at a time and one pound at a time.

Instead of eatting I am trying to focus on other things, like getting my house organise and drinking my water and getting the exercise.

I best get to bed as I need my beauty sleep.

Bye for now

01-15-2002, 12:07 PM
Hey Wendy,

I have been there and know how hard it is. I started slowly by first getting my exercise in hand. I started walking a little every day and built it up. The exercise made me feel good about myself that I was doing something for me and exercise is a mood lifter so I felt much better. I then decided to look at what I ate and started eating healthier. Instead of reaching for potato chips (one of my favorite snack foods) I would reach for an apple. I got rid of a lot of junk food and started eating healthier. Well, with the exercise and eating better the pounds started coming off which gave me incentive to keep going and so my weight loss journey started. I didn't go crazy at first and try to change too many things at one time. I started slowly and built it up so I developed good habits along the way.

It changed my life! I started doing things I never dreamed I could do anymore. I started back doing my favorite thing in the whole world, horseback riding. I am now a nighttime superviser at a barn three days a week and work on Saturdays, cleaning stalls. Talk about physical exercise!!! I am training a young horse and working on an older horse with behavioral problems and I ride 4-5 hours a week. My girls and I recently bought a horse and are really enjoying her. I am 46 years old and very fit these days and so much happier doing something I love!!! I couldn't have done any of this if I hadn't first started working on my weight, it can be done! Good luck to you!:wave:


01-15-2002, 02:59 PM
Wendy - first of all congratulations! Yes really. Admitting you have a problem... that you need help... and you're willing to fight for yourself is the first step.

I was in the worst shape ever when I joined Weight Watchers. Fat, flabby, pasty, looking 10 years older than I was... and miserable. Feeling as though I would never get back in control of myself. I took all my frustrations out by stuffing my face... and then felt worse. It was like being a broken record (CD) stuck in the same repetitive groove.

So what got me out of it?
I made a list of all the reasons why it was worth losing weight.
My state of mind... my heath... my body pains... etc., even "silly" stuff - I wanted to be sexy again, I wanted to climb stairs without wheezing....really to the heart stuff.

I also made a list of what was stopping me - emotionally - what was I getting out of staying fat? For me it was safe, knowable, I got lot's of attention (bad attention is still attention) from people who were trying to help me.

When I finished I realized I owed it to myself to really commit to me. That was when I joined WW and went to my first meeting. I needed that face to face support. It took almost a year to lose my weight... it was seeing such perseverence from others who had 150 lbs and more to lose, that kept me coming back.

These online boards are tremendous too. You'll find groups you can relate to who have the same issues you have. I like the combined support. Both offline (WW meeting) and online.

Check out Lifetimers / Maintenance Thread and Week 6 12 Week Challenge and do that exercise. It really helped me renew my committments. Perhaps your's as well? Hang in there.


01-15-2002, 09:52 PM
Patch and Crazyhorse both of your stories are very encouraging. It's great to hear people winning the battle of the bulge. This is day 2 for me and so far it has gone great. I have done my exercise (it wasn't much but I did it), drank my water (constant going to the bathroom should be exercise enough), :lol: and stayed on my diet. I have been trying to do house work to keep me busy and no time to think about food, always having a proper lunch and supper in mind has helped.

My daughter loves horses so I can understand your passion crazyhorse.

I hope Wendy that we can encourage each other and we will get results :)

Tomorrow is a new day and a new challenge.


01-16-2002, 05:06 PM
Hi Wendy :)

I have been fighting the fat demon for a long time now and I understand all that you are saying. At my highest, I was 265 lbs. My lowest (highschool) was 155 lbs. Currently, I am 179 lbs. and I SHOULD be 150 lbs. There have been days when I would look at myself in the mirror and just hate myself for what I had become.. I big, fat, pathetic loser. I see now that I was not any of those things, but I sure felt that way.

I am not sure if these things will help, but, I gained some inspiration from them and it helped me to go from 265 lbs. to the weight I am at now.. maybe it can help you too..

1. Stop being so hard on yourself. We are our own worse critic and we notice flaws that others never see.

2. Know that being overweight is holding you back from doing the things that you might like to do. Not only that, it is costing you years off of your life.

3. Know that Rome wasn't built in a day and weight loss goals are not achieved in a day either. You will have good days and bad days and you may even see weeks where there is some weight gain.. don't give up. A bad day or a bad week doesn't mean you have failed.

4. As a mom, we spend a LOT of time taking care of the needs of our children, spouse, etc. We would never dream of neglecting them now, would we? So why is it that we don't give a second thought to neglecting ourselves? Our health is one of the most precious gifts we have and we need to take care of that, just as we would take care of a loved one. MAKE the time to exercise.. even if it is only for 15 mins a couple of times a day. Park further away from a mall entrance, take the stairs instead of the elevator, those things will add up after a while.

5. Try to pick one evening a week to pamper yourself. It doesn't have to be expensive... a hot bath with some candles, give yourself a manicure, do a facial. ANYTHING that will make you feel good about yourself and promote feelings of well being.

And finally.. know in your heart of hearts that you CAN do this..

01-17-2002, 06:39 AM
well guys
im getting back to let those of you that replied know how i am doing.
i have lost 3 pounds (if my scales are not lying). im "riding the crimson wave" though and taking diurex to help my bloating so actually i don't really know if ive lost anything since the 3 pounds may be all water. who knows.
i have read all of your replies and some of the other threads and i realized one major thing that i think ill share with all of you. before i started visiting this website, i had a total ludicrous idea about how i was going to "change my life".
let me tell you first that i have tried EVERYTHING since i was a teenager to lose weight. i have ALWAYS been a little big since i was a 'small' child. i was even a chubby baby. when all the other girls were a 7, i was a 9. when all the other girls were a 9, i was an 11/12 and 13/14. i tried everything from dexatrim diet pills (which made me feel like my heart was racing all day long) to starving myself in high school. nothing worked for more than a few days. i maintained a size 14 until i got pregnant, then my body SHAPE changed. my hips were no longer round, the bones spread and they were square. my breasts were ALWAYS big, what can i say, it runs in the family, but i went from a 36C to a 38DD. i had my baby, then breastfed, which some of you may know sucks the weight off of you because it takes so many calories, my way back to 150 (and a size 14 that my hip bones would barely fit into). then i quit breastfeeding and gradually gained 20 pounds in 2 years. then i got pregnant again, breastfed again, lost to what i was when i got pregnant the second time which was 20 pounds heavier than i should have been to begin with, quit breastfeeding and gained 40 pounds in the next year. i was up to 225 at one point. i went on Xenical (its a diet pill that prevents your body from absorbing some of the fat in the food that you eat. it really only works if you eat a bunch of fatty foods like i did.) and lost down to 180. i kept the weight off for over a year. this past year i have slowly gained back up to around 220. when i started gaining the weight back, i even had a period for a few weeks where i would gag myself to throw my meals back up. that's embarassing to admit, but anyone who has read though this much deserves something in return for my long-windedness, right? i threw up my meals until my 3 year old daughter came into the bathroom once and tried to gag herself. i hadnt realized that she ever paid attention to what i did in the bathroom. that still bothers me to this day to think about. but i never threw up a meal again. so i gained to between 215 and 220. that brings you up to date with my up down cycles and misguided attempts and failures at losing weight.
for the revelation i have had from reading your posts. i had thought that when i finally got serious - (i use that phrase because even though i have been dissatisfied with my physical fitness and appearance for years, i have never seriously DONE anything about it. i have just talked about how bad i look and feel and continued to "feed" the look and feel i hated so much.)
- about getting into shape and changing my life, that i would have to start everything at once if i was going to succeed.
i would have started my new life of fitness and healthy eating by either walking for 30 minutes at least 3 times a week, preferably every day, or i wouldn't have considered that really starting. i would have either eaten three healthy meals a day with only healthy, preferably no snacks, or i wouldnt have considered that really starting.
i sounds naive, but i never considered that i should really go about this as slowly as most of you say. i never thought of only changing one meal at a time, slowly building habbits that way. i will be trying that and sort of have been. (i used to drink 2 20 oz bud lites between 11 and 12 at night right before i went to bed so that i could go to sleep. (ive been insomniac since around 12 or 13 yrs old. why do you think i am typing this at 4:36 in the morning when i have school at 8 am.) i have COMPLETELY cut the beer out. my son is almost 8 and hes old enough now to read the labels in the trash anyway. i never want him to see me doing anything like that.) i have also cut way down on my lunch and supper meals. i still eat a big breakfast and i had a candy bar yesterday, but i have cut down on the amount (not the KIND of food i eat) but the AMOUNT of food i eat for lunch and dinner. when i feel like it, im going to start walking in the afternoons while my kids play out, instead of just sitting on the porch reading or writing.
i will keep you up to date on what/when/if/how i lose. id love to hear what all of you started at and are currently at and how you lost/are losing your extra pounds.
i hope it works this time.

01-17-2002, 03:22 PM
Hi again :)

Sounds to me like you are on the right track, hun.. A little bit over time can make a huge difference.

My highest weight was about 10 years ago.. I was 265 lbs. It was at that time, that I realized something.. If I didn't get this under some control, I would never live to be a ripe old age. I switched to skim milk, started eating a lot more chicken and fish (no skin on the chicken), cut down on bread, cut down on sweets (I LOVE chocolate), cut way down on butter/margarine and started a modest exercise routine. It took a year, but I went down to 200 lbs. That weight has never come back.

After I was married and had my second second child, things in my marriage started to go "south" and I started eating again as comfort against the mental and later physical abuse I suffered at the hands of my now ex-husband. About that time, I decided to go see a plastic surgeon about a breast reduction (I, too, was a 38DD) because my back was always sore. She told me that the only way she would do the surgery was if I was under 200 lbs. She said lose some weight and then come back and see me. I felt humiliated, even though she said it in a very kind manner. On the way home that day, I bought a good digital scale and weighed myself. I was up to 230 lbs. I am not sure what came over me that day but I decided then and there that I was NOT going to live like that anymore. I got rid of my husband and got rid of 30 lbs. Once I was under 200 lbs, I went back and had the surgery (now a 36B).

My weight stabilized at about 200 lbs (I would go between 200 and 205) and stayed like that for a few years... then, this past year, I decided to join a gym and then decided to start Weight Watchers this past November. To date, I am 179 lbs. and about 29 lbs. from goal.

So, I guess the point of this rather long winded post is this.. It has taken me a long time to even get to the weight I am at now and it will take more time to get to the goal I want. Even when that is attained, I know that I will ALWAYS have to watch what I am eating and exercise. The only difference now is that I refuse to give up.. no matter how stressful things get, no matter how bad of a day/week I am having, *I* am a priority.