General chatter - Who is your "Reality Check"

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10-14-2007, 11:39 AM
This one is kind of an offshoot of Shane's healthy looking people thread

It is a well known phenomenon that most people do not have an accurate self view. Especially people who have been overweight, they dont see themselves as thin. Or at least not as thin as they really are. (Or sometimes as fat as we really are either)

Now that too skinny is becoming normal...who is your reality check?

Do you have people in your life that you truly would trust/listen too if THEY said you were too thin.

Obviously it cant just be anyone. My MIL thought I was too thin when I was still 10 lbs above a healthy BMI. My size 00000 friend thinks the same. (she thinks she is fatter than me..she is 5'8 and 117 lbs with 15% body fat and she will stand next to me and look in a mirror and say she is "much fatter")

I trust my dh...he has never been weight judgemental or wanted me to change except when my weight was causing me to hate myself. He also gets to see me naked...which does make a difference. It turns out I have a small bone structure after years of denial :lol3: and in clothes I look really tiny, but I still have ample flesh covering bones. I know he would get serious with me if he ever saw ribs

I also trust the body fat measurements much more than the scale.

10-14-2007, 02:50 PM
I think that would be my sister. She's 1 year older and my closest friend. I know my husband would probably say something too, but Angie would be the most honest and knows me the best :) I hate the people who tell you "you are too thin" when you really aren't!!!

10-14-2007, 06:38 PM
I don't really have anybody. From past experience I know that most of my friends and family will start the "you're too thin" chorus by the time I get into the 180's. My husband would be useless because he liked the way I looked at my thinnest and just basically trusts me to monitor my own weight and BMI.

Most people who tell you you're too thin really mean you're thinner than they are comfortable seeing you. It's hard to put much trust in that.

I'll stick with weight, BMI and body fat percentage and not worry about what others think.

10-14-2007, 08:35 PM
The only person I really 'trusted' was my doctor. When she said that I didn't need to lose any more weight, it really made me sit up and listen.

I agree that many other people are just so used to seeing us larger, that they worry when we get close to a 'normal' size, because it seems SO thin in comparison to how we looked before.

I still have to adjust my thinking to allow for the possible 20lbs or more of excess skin I have all over my body. I think that is why the doctor told me I had lost enough. She saw me laying down and basically my stomach was concave between my pelvis, hips and ribs. It kinda needs a position like that to realise that the lumps/bumps when you are sitting/standing are just excess skin. I don't plan on having it removed, so are learning to live with it and adjust my thinking.

It is interesting, I actually NEED someone else to tell me when I have lost enough, because I still don't have a good image of what I actually look like now.

OK... that was a little too much from me for what could have been a very simple answer.

Answer... My Doctor...


10-14-2007, 11:46 PM
It is interesting, I actually NEED someone else to tell me when I have lost enough, because I still don't have a good image of what I actually look like now.

OK... that was a little too much from me for what could have been a very simple answer.

I think it is a valuable answer though. I definitely dont see me the way I really am either.

10-15-2007, 12:59 AM
Hubby, while he tells everyone he married a fat woman, and I know he PREFERS the chubbier look, he's honest with me. He still thinks I look great even if I'm not longer overweight. He'd tell me though if I wasn't looking good, looking way too thin.

However, my family, and a couple of friends, who are used to me being overweight, and who are themselves overweight, have said I was too thin, even though I'm just within my healthy range, not even on the low end of it. And sometimes they even ask if I've lost more weight when my weight hasn't varied a pound. Like they're worried I might lose more. ::sigh::

10-15-2007, 10:43 AM
Good idea for a thread Ennay!

My husband too. While he doesn't mind whatever size I am ... he's the only one who really knows how tiny my bones are and that I am not gaunt.
I do have one friend who understands muscular, slender fitness. I appreciate her input.

10-15-2007, 02:08 PM
My mum. She knows how hard it is for me to look at movie stars and not want to be their size. Her personal therapy for me seems to be fried chicken. And she tells me its okay if my all my cousins are skinnier then I am, because when a famine hits, we'll survive better.

You know, the truth is that I don't care for body figures so as long my body looks good and feels healthy. I would die to have Scarlett Johanssen's figure, but darn, some women were just born with those dangerous proportions. I'll just be happy with mine!