General chatter - My mom is dying




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bethmart
10-09-2007, 11:41 PM
Sorry to be so blunt I just need to get it out.

I havent been here in a long time because I have been so depressed. I have flew back and forth to Michgan Twice since january and now when my mom needs me there I cant afford to get there. It stinks. I am so miserable right now.....I found out Today that she has Two to Six months. I cant take it.


Shy Moment
10-09-2007, 11:44 PM
bethmart
I am so sorry. The loss of someone we love is always hard. Will keep you and your mother in my prayers. She isn't gone yet, enjoy her all you can while she is still here with you.

Jen415
10-09-2007, 11:48 PM
So sorry Beth.......it's not time to miss her yet though....


bethmart
10-09-2007, 11:51 PM
Thanks everyone

It just drives me crazy waiting to get enough money to get there. I am going to work everyday even though I just want to sit here and cry. I am selling stuff on ebay and even put a donate button on my myspace page. So far I have raised $40.

I am playing catch up since Christmas of last year. This whole Year has been one long finacial struggle and trying to fly back and forth has been tough. Now I NEED to be there and yet I am here.

peachinabrownbag
10-09-2007, 11:55 PM
Thanks everyone

It just drives me crazy waiting to get enough money to get there. I am going to work everyday even though I just want to sit here and cry. I am selling stuff on ebay and even put a donate button on my myspace page. So far I have raised $40.

I am playing catch up since Christmas of last year. This whole Year has been one long finacial struggle and trying to fly back and forth has been tough. Now I NEED to be there and yet I am here.

I'm so sorry to hear this. My mom is dying as well. They gave her a few months to live back in February, but she is still doing well as of today (on her own, not bedridden).

I am thinking of/praying for you and her and know that there others just like you!

Shy Moment
10-09-2007, 11:58 PM
peachinabrownbag
I am so sorry to hear this. Will keep you and yours in my prayers.

bethmart
10-09-2007, 11:58 PM
I am glad your mom is doing well peachinabrownbag thats great. It seems like a lot of us our losing our loved ones to cancer these days.

bethmart
10-10-2007, 12:00 AM
Im mad at myself. I moved to Florida when I was 19. I didnt need anyone. I didnt care about anyone but myself. I missed a lot of time I could have spent with my mom. The last 10 years I have not done anything spectacular, There was no reason for me to stay here. I should have just moved back home. I missed out.

althepirate
10-10-2007, 12:00 AM
From someone who's lost someone dearly close to themselves....the only advice I can give you is to keep going. Keep calling her, keep emailing her, texting her, whatever it is you do to keep in touch. You'll be glad you did later.

You have my best wishes, and you'll be in my thoughts.

veggielover
10-10-2007, 12:09 AM
Bethmart,

Is it possible for you to cherish the rest of her remaining times with her? I know it might be hard.. I'm just the type of person to never leave my mom and I can't seem to detach myself from her...

SoulBliss
10-10-2007, 12:11 AM
I am so sorry. She is beautiful and gave you many of her traits (you resemble her). I never knew what it was like to be loved by a mother so I can't say I relate to what you are going through but I have lost many others that I loved and loved me. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

mom2mollie
10-10-2007, 12:24 AM
Be praying for you and her. I'm so sorry.

Spinymouse
10-10-2007, 12:31 AM
Im mad at myself. I moved to Florida when I was 19. I didnt need anyone. I didnt care about anyone but myself. I missed a lot of time I could have spent with my mom. The last 10 years I have not done anything spectacular, There was no reason for me to stay here. I should have just moved back home. I missed out.


Hey Beth,
Please don't be mad at yourself.
You did what you needed to do. We do what feels like the best thing at the time, we do what comes from our hearts at all times -- I feel strongly although I might not be articulating this in the best way. Even if you say you didn't care for anyone but yourself, I don't think this was true, but even if it were, it would have been what was coming from your heart at that time. Oh, I wish I could really put it into better words, because I know what it feels like. But you can only be and do at any moment what is right for you.

I'm sorry about your mom - you have some time now to keep in touch. I hope something will work out so that you can go to see her again.

:hug:
jo

glynne
10-10-2007, 01:06 AM
Beth,

So sorry to hear about your mom ~ keeping you and her in my thoughts and prayers.

NurseChef
10-10-2007, 01:24 AM
I'm so sorry to hear this. I am working with borrowed time with my Mom as well. She stroked a year ago. Her blood pressure and blood sugar are way outta control. Two weeks ago, her Doc pulled me aside and told me maybe you'll have her to the end of the year. It makes me sick thinking about this but I know she is just shy of 80 y/o. I have to accept it and make her life happy and livable. We live together so that's a good thing. I'm a RN and work in ICU. My skills and almost 29 years in the field were tested. I resuscitated her twice. She can walk, talk and move but she isn't the smae like before. She has bouts of depression and a sad look on her face most of the time. I do my best.

We just have to savor the time we have with our Moms and when it happens, we have a friend to talk to, cry to and be thinking about our own lives and what we want out of them.

EZMONEY
10-10-2007, 01:26 AM
Beth I am so sorry to hear about your mom. Since I just lost mine less than 48 hours ago I can relate. Until about 4 years ago I always lived within 3-4 miles of my mom, she then went from California, to take care of her mom, in Illinois. I went just last year to see her, always thought she was coming back "home" even though she wasn't well. I had planned to go see her a few weeks ago but my sister, who is back there now taking care of her, wanted me to wait until this Thursday so she could come here for her grandsons first birthday. My mom felt she would feel better than she felt a few weeks ago. Well, I never got to see her....I am not going to beat myself up over it, my mom sure wouldn't want that. To me it sounds like your mom wouldn't either!

I am adding you to my prayers and my prayers also go out to you PEACHINABROWNBAG for what you and your mom are going through and to you SOULBLISS for never knowing the love of a mother....a greater pain than we are feeling.

EZMONEY
10-10-2007, 01:28 AM
I am adding you too NURSECHEF.

blondebritbrat17
10-10-2007, 05:57 AM
Beth, I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I can relate though, I lost my dad to cancer 3 months out of high school almost 6 years ago and he was only 39 and I regret so many things since our relationship wasn't the best. For the past 4 years I've been dealing with my mom's health issues from a motorcycle wreck which almost killed her and the past two years it's been aggressive breast cancer and she is out of remission and just started chemo again this week and there have been MANY times I've been taken aside by her doctors and they have gently told me to prepare for a funeral. My mom is in the process right now of getting her affairs in order just in case from the advice of her doctors and I already know my mom's wishes for her funeral since there are certain family members that will try to fight me on her wishes. It is difficult no matter how old you are with the loss of a parent. Do what you have to do to get to your mom. I know I would if I lived far away. Good luck!

bethmart
10-10-2007, 08:20 AM
Thanks everyone. Your support is helping me more than you could know. It is so very hard for me to be strong right now.

losinitin07
10-10-2007, 02:36 PM
Bethmart-peachinabrownbag-soulbliss and nursechef, my prayers go out to you all.May God bless:hug:

BillBlueEyes
10-10-2007, 03:19 PM
NurseChef, peachinabrownbag, and bethmart,

I wish the best for you in this very difficult time.

kitkatbahr
10-10-2007, 05:26 PM
Bethmart,

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I lost mine to cancer 5 years ago, and my dad just a few months ago. I understand what you mean about feeling like you don't have enough time with them. I am 42 years old and sometimes cannot deal with the fact that I have lost both my parents. I will pray for you.

You said you are saving money to go see her. I don't know if you were talking about flying there, which can be expensive, but I wanted to suggest an alternative. I don't know how possible it is, where you live, where she lives, etc. but is there bus service? I know when my stepson went up north (from FL) he ended up going by bus (grayhound I believe) because it was alot less expensive than flying. Sure, it takes a bit longer, and may not be all that comfortable, but it is transportation. Perhaps you can look into that and it may be a way for you to get there sooner than you thought you could.

Good luck. I will be thinking about you.

Kathy

drake3272004
10-10-2007, 11:12 PM
:hug:

KO
10-10-2007, 11:46 PM
:HUG: Beth and to the other ladies My thoughts and prayers are with you all. I lost my Gramma 2 years ago this week and it still hurts. What's most important is that you are in eachothers hearts. I hope you can get to her!
Kierie

aymster
10-11-2007, 12:06 AM
:hug: :hug: :hug:

bethmart
10-12-2007, 01:45 PM
Thanks again and again everyone. I am still in Florida but doing all I can to raise money to get to Michigan. I am $100 closer thanks to a silly ebay auction.

phantastica
10-12-2007, 02:11 PM
I have a friend who regularly travels on the cheap. She has taken buses, Am-Trak, has done ride-share on craigslist, etc. One time, she even bought cheap one-way tickets to her destination, bought a $200 car and drove herself home. She also checks regularly for people looking to pay someone to drive a vehicle to or from her destination.

There used to be some program that helped people fly cheaply or free when someone was dying. I think it might've been the Red Cross. I wonder if something like that would be available to you.

:hug: to everybody who has lost or is losing their mother. Moms are very special people, and I consider myself lucky to have both of my parents alive and healthy.