Weight Loss Support - Alternative Group (January 11, 2002)

01-11-2002, 01:10 PM
We are a group of non-traditional lifestyle individuals. We are partnered, single, widowed, Pagan, Atheist, Agnostic, Christian, Muslim, gay, bi-sexual, bi-colored and straight. We bask in our diversity and unite in the same goal of losing weight. If you are relatively open-minded and accepting of ALL walks of life, please join us.

01-11-2002, 01:12 PM
Hey chicks. I'm home at lunchtime and only have a minute. I'll sum it up...

I can't stop eating when and what I'm not supposed to...

My divorce appears to be right around the corner...

I finally walked last night...

Why can't I stop cheating on this fast?

01-11-2002, 01:41 PM
Welllll......... You are a mammal.... and mammals like to eat!

I did a tarot reading yesterday and today and the wildest results. The same 4 cards both days... I'm totally freaked out. A solid message though! Lots of movement towards change.

On program, drinking water and walking.

Have a good day everyone!!

And a great weekend! Although I'll be back and forth over the weekend. It's warm and sunny here, really bizarre weather for southern Ontario.

Having pasta tonight, with a giant salad and red swiss chard.


01-11-2002, 02:26 PM
Ruthie ~ You are most likely not getting what you need nutritionally out of this fast... You're a put together woman; you know what you need (in all aspects of life) so you need to make the rational decision where this is concerned... Is it what is best for your body? You can't be getting everything you need in 800 calories per day (you have looked at the nutritional content of this liquid=sugar) and you feeling the need to eat is you body tell you that. I am not telling you what to do but this is 2 weeks on right? Maybe you should re-evaluate your decision.

Nursing process:
Assess the situation
Diagnose the need
Plan/make goals the best you can
Implement the plan
Evaluation (from the eval have you met the goal?)
Wash/rinse/repeat :)

Ultimately you have to make the decision what is best for you. You can't feel pressured to stick to a decision because your worried about what others are going to perceive as a failure (your sister).... So in my opinion you need to re-evaluate your plan and move forward. You know you have (I speak for everyone here) all of our support, for what good that is! :)

Flower ~ Sorry I haven't responded to your situation (completely swamped in Alabama)... Your doing the best you can, kids are going to push the limits and see what they can get away with, some get caught (the lucky ones who have to face consequences) and some who don't- who continue to push the limits until they do get caught. You are doing everything right, don't stress! How are things with the Rio?

Guys! I have got to get OP! I am so stressed about school already that food is the natural thing to turn to, I have my grocery list, sticking to it and going to try really hard this week! I am seeing the gain... I am glad I got rid of most of my bigger clothes, I would be tempted to just go up a size instead of getting back on the wagon so to speak. I can NOT gain my weight back, this isn't an option! SO, I am starting back OP today!!! I have eaten bad alllllll week (Dairy Queen two days this week, mmm it was good)

Went for orientation for the Children’s hospital last night.. I start next Friday doing on the floor orientation. This past month they hired 5 out of 8 of their graduates from their student nursing pool so, this is what I think I want to do- I am really excited! They have also asked me to teach a Supplemental Instruction class for the incoming class at school (I would get paid, I just don't know if I am capable)... I have got to run.... If my house work is any indication of what this next year is going to be like I am going to have to get a maid service :)...

Hugs to all!

01-11-2002, 05:12 PM
Grrrrr! I just feel huge today.... I hope I am just PMS'ing!!!

01-11-2002, 09:24 PM
Ruthie, removing all food from your life is a hard thing to adjust to. You may be satisfying your hunger needs, but the other qualities of food...taste, smell, texture...you're missing. Could that be part of why you're supplementing with food? I know there are times I eat because I want something salty/sweet/crunchy/gooey. Not because I need food for hunger's sake. Really, food is such a big part of our lives, especially as people who are trying to alter our lifestyles and long-bred habits. I think our connection to food is way deeper than just filling the hunger void. I think Amy is right, you need to see if your heart is really in maintaining the fast, and do you want to continue to battle it out. You've mentioned the cost of this program, and you also mentioned that perhaps Slim Fast would be an option if the fast didn't work out. So, you do have some options if Opti-Fast isn't working for you. Don't think for one second that you've failed if you decide to change your program. You have to do what is best for your body in the long run. You're much braver than I....I couldn't even attempt such a fast. What about doing the program but not the full fast? I know just how you feel about wanting the weight gone and NOW and feeling that you're somehow on hold until it is gone. It's frustrating as ****. But we don't want you to do anything that is upsetting you, either. Whatever you might decide, we're behind you!

Lamorgan, hope that movement towards change is a positive move! Isn't this weather incredible? I can't believe we still have green grass in the middle of January!

Wow, Amy...sounds like things are coming together for you....starting at the children's hospital, teaching a class...you go, girl! I'm struggling this week, too. I'll do fine for half a day, then blow it in the evening. Gotta get back up, dust yourself off, start all over again!

I just booked a flight to Montreal for Feb 2-5. Going with a friend to a medical conference...though I'll be mostly enjoying some time away while he's rubbing elbows with big wigs. :D Something to look forward to in the dreary days of February!

01-12-2002, 07:02 AM
Hey chicks. Amy, I love your professional approach to my problem! Is there anything better than putting into practice things you learn in school? I love it! Wildfire, I thank you too. However, I'm still more mad at myself than anything. BTW, I have already modified the fast -- I'm doing a version of the fast that's still under 1,000 calories a day, but lets me eat one meal, so it's four shakes and a meal. I just can't stop snacking -- snacking sometimes to the point of bingeing. I just have to find the ... the ... thing inside me that will make me stay OP! How long have I been on this board? And I haven't in all that time been able to stick with a program. When I go to the group next Tuesday, I definitely want to talk with the group about these issues, not world politics or everyone's general feelings.

All right, I veered off there, but the point I'm trying to make is that it doesn't matter that right now I'm doing a modified fast. The point is that I haven't been able to stick to ANY program since I decided to lose weight, and therefore have stayed at about the same weight for two years. It doesn't make sense, because I am a very determined person, and when I set my mind to something I usually achieve it...twice I had the courage to leave bad marriages, the first time at peril of my well-being; I am finishing school, finally; I quit smoking; I am making plans to move on and achieve some career dreams; etc., etc. I just can't lick this eating thing. Sometimes I think it's because I took away every other pleasure: I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, I don't fool around. It's like eating is all that's left. The sick thing is that my cheating really does have the feeling of a binge -- I enjoy the sneaking, and the hiding, and the knowledge that I'm not "supposed to." I enjoy those things possibly more than the food itself. I barely taste the food. It's something I used to do when I was a teenager. I think I definitely need to bring it to the group -- that's what I'm paying for, after all.

Lamorgan and Amy, you both sound like you're heading in great directions! Wildfire, the Montreal conference sounds like fun -- I have always wanted to visit Montreal, just never made it there. Believe it or not, as much as I've traveled, I've never set foot in Canada! Isn't that crazy?

Well, tomorrow DD turns 18 :( . More craziness from my dysfunctional family, too...long story short, last year, as I mentioned, DD and I had the biggest fight of our lives on her birthday, b/c she wouldn't do anything with her family b/c she was too busy with her friends. She actually made the comment, well can't they just bring the presents over here? What a *****. We had such a big fight she actually left the house for a few days. It was a very painful incident, and I vowed never to plan anything for her birthday again. I was just aghast at her attitude, and of course b/c she's my DD I blamed myself to a certain extent. So this year I planned nothing for her birthday, even though the family tradition is to get together for dinner or at least cake for each other's birthdays. My sister asked me a few times about DD's birthday, and I told her, no I'm not planning anything b/c of last year. Well, a couple days ago DD told me she went directly to my mom about getting together, and my mom said ok, come to my house for brunch. So last night my sister called me to say that mom knew nothing about that, that as far as she knew we were going to a local restaurant for brunch, and that furthermore mom said, why would I have anyone over to my house when everyone complains that I get upset when I have people over? Which is in response to me and my sister trying to be nice to her b/c she does seem to get anxious when people come over, so we volunteered to do Thanksgiving at my house and Xmas at my sister's house. So my sister kept saying, where did DD get that idea? What's going on? And I felt kind of, I don't know, PMS'y, just wanted to be left alone and lay on the sofa last night, and my feeling was just, if it's at a restaurant, fine, now everybody just stop running your own agendas. So I just got off the phone with her without responding to anything she said. I'm tired of them and their negativity. My parents and my sister own stores that are next door to each other, so they're in each other's faces and in each other's business all day long. I don't want to get tangled up in their little dramas. As sad as it will be to move away from my very close-knit family, I'm glad I'm doing it. Life is too short to spend it dwelling on he said-she said stuff.

All right, I'll shut up now. Thanks for listening.

01-12-2002, 09:25 AM
Wow Ruthie! A lot on your mind these days, so many issues coming to a head... I come from a fairly close-knit family, one of 5 daughters, but the real what I consider crazy-makers all have died and although I miss them dearly, family functions are blissful now. Isn't that sick? Families are so complex, and as I watch my own reactions with my 14 year old and my 12 year old I catch myself spouting the same garbage my own mother did with me! Just keeps going around...

I haven't done any travelling in the U.S., and if and when the time comes and I have any money, I think I'll be exploring Eastern Canada and then branch out to Europe. I have a yearning to explore my ancient roots. (Ireland, Scotland and England)

Had 3 skinny slices of pizza (yummy feta and garlic!) last night for supper, they were well worth all the miserable points. Saturday is my heavy walking day, have to help 3rd child deliver flyers around our community. So I'll burn some of that pizza off, hopefully.

When it comes to change, I'm pretty sure most change is positive although I've been in a tricky situation with a friend these past 6 months and I've had to cut my involvement in her life down quite a bit, too much energy going her way and not enough left for me and mine. So I see the message about change to be regarding that situation. It's resolving slowly, and with care.


01-12-2002, 10:41 AM
Ruthie, next time you want to get away, come to Canada!!! You're really not that far from me. Lots to do in Toronto! I've been trying to figure out the very same thing, Ruthie....everything else in my life I've overcome and this weight is really the last thing that I want to change, but just can't seem to do it. At New Year's, when I realized I'd been up and down the same 10 pounds for an entire year, I really beat myself up for it. That's just plain ridiculous...an entire year! What a waste. Just about every minute of every day I am completely aware of my weight and that I want to lose it, and how many points whatever I am eating would be. Sometimes it really drives me mad that I can't escape it. If you figure it all out, let me know, will you? I've done every little incentive thing I could think of....charts, journals, graphs, streaks....and here I am still at 175lbs. I started at 191.4, so at least I've kept that 16.4lbs off, but I'm not satisfied.

When I moved to Ontario 4.5years ago, I left behind a large extended family and friends. I had aunts, uncles, cousins, grandmother, my sister and her husband....all on the same street and the next two streets over, then more in the city, and more further out in the county. As difficult as it was to be in a strange place and starting all over on my own, it was great, too! Nobody calling me to gossip or stick their nose in my business, I could come and go as I pleased and there was no one to know where I was going or when I came home. I didn't have to worry about running into anyone I knew. It was really liberating. My grandmother and my sister called to check on me, but other than that I was detached from the family. My aunt and uncle here are the type that let you make your own decisions and run your own life, and I really appreciate them for that. They are on the other side of the family....maybe that's the difference. Anyway, my point is, Ruthie, that I think you will find the same thing, and enjoy the peace, and you can go back and visit with them on your own terms. Whatever ends up being the plan for your DD, go along and when it's over you can just leave. If it's at your mother's house then it's her decision to do it and if it upsets her, well...that's out of your control. If it's at a restaurant, which sounds like a better choice because you could excuse yourself easier, go for the brunch and pretend you are a friend of the family. :D Your daughter is 18, if she acts inappropriately or upsets anyone, it's on her, not you. She's an adult, and needs to be responsible for her own actions.

Lamorgan, if you've never been to the east coast, go! Although I'm biased, being from NS, there is NOTHING like the people and places of the east coast. Just be sure to include Cape Breton on that trip! :D If you ever decide to do it, I can help you out with some information. Hope the situation with your friend works itself out. You know, before I made the move to Ontario, I went to one of the locals who was famous for her readings. (tea leaves, not tarot). The things she knew about me and my family were incredible, and I'd never laid eyes on her before. She pointed out that I had the "gift" passed down to me from great aunts. (When I was born one of the aunts told my mother I would be next in the family to carry on the pagan traditions. My mother promptly had me baptized. :D ) I had no pagan jewellry on when I went to see her, so there was no way for her to know. She described our house and land, and things in the house. She told me that I would find work in the field I was studying, told me about my move to Ontario, (which I was already planning), but said if I went alone I would have nothing but hardships. She said there was a man in my life, and that if I made the move with him, things would turn out great. That baffled me, because there was no man in my life at the time. Ah, but I didn't know at that time that my hubby would be moving to Ontario and that we would get married. We were still chatting as friends online. She was really amazing....everything she told my sister and I has come true so far. Wish I could go back to see her again....there are things I want to know! I also read the tarot, but it's open to more interpretation. She was bang on. What a gift she has.

I did some research online last night for my Montreal trip. WOW! This hotel we're staying at is incredible!! It's the Fairmont Queen Elizabeth, right in the heart of downtown, very posh, and lots of museums, shopping, entertainment all within walking distance. I'm going to have a blast! The Queen herself has stayed at this hotel, and scads of celebrities. I'll probably drive you all nuts in the next few weeks, so I'll apologize now. I can't wait to go!!! Better brush up on my French.

Au revoir, mon amies....a demain! :dizzy:

01-12-2002, 12:54 PM
Lucky you! Montreal. Sigh. I haven't been there for at least 14 years. Had much fun there when I was a teen with my girlfriend ~ being chased through the streets by strange Frenchmen... Ah. Those were the days.

I loved the West Coast, as long as they didn't know I was from Ontario, all was well. :s: I have a draw to the ocean, didn't see salt water until I was 30, and really miss it now. Must be the tides.

But the East Coast next! Someday! John has been and calls it Canada's best kept secret.

To the weight issues: Did you women find that your metabolism seemed to come to a halt suddenly? Somewhere after my 3rd child, and I turned 30, I could no longer eat like I had in my 20s, and post-birth weight did not fall off like it had before. Add any other changes like quitting smoking or going on anti-depressants just compounds it all.

I was on Paxil for 8 or 9 months a few years ago, gained 30 pounds and didn't even care until I went off it and realized I was at my all-time high in my weight. Talk about depressing.

Oh well. Need to go and attack Foster and Evan's room. Scary stuff.

John and I are going out tonight to visit friends and play some Euchre. It'll be wonderful to get out and leave the kids. I'm needing a change of scenery.

01-12-2002, 01:02 PM
Ruthie-I hope you daughter has a safe, fun and peaceful birthday. (for your sake)

Lamorgan, Wildfire, Amy-hello. You all have your paltes so full!

I heard from Summer. She was coming to Vegas in Feb but I don't think it is happening anymore. :( I was looking forward to it. Her business is booming. Lots of horny ladies in her town! She joined back to WW. She is close to goal! I think she said 10 pounds.

Sorry, I haven't been around. My head is so full of crud. Sickness crud and thoughts crud. I had my interview at the Great Indoors yesterday. It went way well. I will be having my second interview on Mon or Tues. They will call early Monday morning. I had my magick shoelaces in my pocket for good luck. (Silly huh? But Chris and I have gotton every job we have interviewed for if we take these along) Witht he exception of the Rio. But that might still happen. The Great Indoors had sent me a no letter a couple weeks ago and now they like me, so go figure.

I will also be interviewing for visual display. I am a great florist but I am an even better visual designer. I am good at pulling the whole thing together. That position pays more too. Dress code is any combo of black and white. You can have pattern but it must be black or white. I own no black or white!!! Gray and cream yes, but black/white. Nope. She told me I would be starting next week if offered the job and plan on going for my drug test right after the next interview. I am not sure if that was suppose to be a heads up thing, but they can test me all they want. I don't do that kind of thing. :p

I have my {.} so my diet is out of wack. I am not overeatting, just not focusing on diet food. We played hard at the park yesterday. Vegas is gorgous this week. It is very Springy here. ~flower

01-13-2002, 03:45 PM
hi there,
i found this site a few days ago... and man do i need it!
i started my plan on Jan 8th at 204#s and am now at 198!!!!!!:smug: I never thought id be so happy to weigh this much.... but im under the 200 mark, which is great.

I really need support and encouragement ( as we all do.) and thats why im here...
I was VERY!!!! excited about this thread.
i guess ill just start by telling you about myself...

I am 28 single...no kids, a veterinary tech/ assistant/receptionist...
very into animals , a vegetarian, an artist ( or at least i am on good self esteem days...on bad days im a schmuck w/ a paint brush lol) i am very into tarot card reading and was thrilled to see them mentioned here.... i used to read profesionally at a now closed pagan bookstore.

thats a good start anyway,
looking forward to getting to know some of you....
i need all the friend in this fight i can muster!



we are what we repeatedly do. aristotle.

01-13-2002, 05:32 PM
Welcome Colene!!!! The more the merrier!

I am not gonna waste my quiet time on the computer-no one is home. Chris took them all to the playground to play kick ball! Yeah, gonna go do some me stuff! ~flower

01-13-2002, 09:32 PM
Hippiecol (Colene), welcome to our group! Sounds like you're off to a great start on your weight loss journey. What kind of program are you following? Counting calories, Weight Watchers, etc? Glad you joined us :)

Lamorgan, that draw to the ocean you described is in my blood. There are days it gnaws at the pit of my stomach, and the desire to be back home is overwhelming. Lake Ontario is the best substitute I have here, but it just isn't the same. Re: metabolism, I never noticed it suddenly changing. I gradually put weight on the first few years I had IBS because I was unable to go to the gym, take long walks, aerobic classes, etc., like I had been. That coupled with a failing marriage and comfort food, and I've been struggling ever since. I'm sure in there somewhere my metabolism did slow, though.

Flower, hope you're feeling better soon. Tell Summer we miss her, and hope she'll stop in sometime.

Ruthie, how did the birthday turn out?

01-15-2002, 12:08 AM
Was the site down again today? Something wrong with my computer? NO replies at all today? What's up?

01-15-2002, 07:37 AM
Yes, the site was down again today, and it erased my last message (again).

Colene, welcome. Are you in NY City or State? I am in northern NJ, 12 miles outside of Manhattan.

DD's birthday went fine. She loves her new puter. Oh, BTW, she booked the hotel room for her party next weekend with a cash deposit, then heard from a friend of hers who had a hotel party last year how much damage the kids did, and NOW she's suddenly worried about it. They definitely listen to peers more than parents! So she's telling a lot of people it's canceled and intends to have a private party with only invited people welcome. I hope it works out for her! Otherwise it's going to be quite a learning experience, huh? (Sometimes a laissez faire attitude towards parenting is the best attitude, IMHO.)
Anyway, the family went out for brunch and it was fine; I definitely realize I need to keep my distance a little, and I'm looking forward to moving away, which is ironic b/c family is so important, but frankly they were more important when DD was younger and I needed an extended family to help raise her.

I'm still struggling daily with my program. I have group tonight, and I'm going armed with *my* agenda. I wanna talk about overweight and dieting, damn it! :lol: I think I'm already developing a different attitude b/c I realize that this is sort of my last ditch effort -- the overeating HAS to stop somewhere. Two years is long enough, I would think, for unsuccessful dieting. At some point I have to say enough is enough, now I'm serious. At some point failure is not an option, b/c I know with certainty I don't want to be overweight.

Wow, I just realize a whole lot of messages disappeared. Bummer.

01-15-2002, 08:32 AM
Welcome (again) Hippicol... My last post was erased too and I have no idea what I wrote so I'm not even going to worry about it...

On program (just...) craved some chocolate yesterday, and had a bit. Was able to limit the amount.

I don't have much to imput this morning! I'm tired; had a night of restless sleep. I'm very much in the middle of a creative streak, I'm compelled to write and journal, paint and putter.

Have to cash in on this energy while it lasts...

Have a wonderful day!

L :dizzy:

01-15-2002, 06:28 PM
Hello all...

Well, like Lamorgan, I've forgotten the wonderful tidbits of insite that I posted last time ;) I'm almost afraid to post anything of substance right now for fear that it's going to disappear again!!!

Welcome Colene - I hope you enjoy the group here. I'm new also and they've been a great support (when the messages stay around long enough to read).

Until later,

Terri :wave:

01-15-2002, 11:16 PM
Ruthie, glad the brunch turned out okay. I hope your DD can keep that party under control! How was your group meeting? Did you get your questions addressed?

Not a lot to say tonight...imagine that! :D Just wanted to check in and say hello. Had a brutal day at work...one of those "all stressed out and no one to choke" kind of days.

Tomorrow is hump day, and has to be better than today!

01-16-2002, 06:43 AM
Hey everyone. I had a really good meeting last night! When I went to the clinic, I was pissed and I thought I was on the verge of quitting the program, b/c the director had said I could weigh every other week, but yesterday afternoon she said she was going to weigh me but I wouldn't look. I let them weigh me, but of course I looked, it seemed childish for me not to. (I was up 1.8 lbs., partly cheating, partly PMS water.) Then I told her that I was angry that she had told me in the past it was "my program" and said I could weigh biweekly and then went back on that. I told her if that was her protocol and she insisted on it, she should say so and not try to evade the issue by letting me weigh without looking -- and more importantly, by telling me one thing and then doing another. So she agreed to weigh me biweekly. I just can't stand weekly weigh-ins, they ruin my confidence and motivation. At any rate, the group was wonderful -- we talked about a lot of BS, but mostly we talked about eating and cheating and we made a whole bunch of jokes about cheese (since I brought up that that was one of my favorite "cheat" foods). It was really worthwhile and I felt the group was really helpful, unlike last week. I am amazed at how these really, really heavy people have been able to do the full fast without complaint. I feel renewed motivation to keep plugging away instead of giving up. I need to try to make every day an OP day.

01-16-2002, 09:52 AM
Just dropping in quickly this morning, I'm motivated to wash my kitchen floor, needs it badly and then I have to work on my first assignment for this term. It's hard getting back into the swing of assignments.

So hello to all ~ and I'll pop back in soon!


01-16-2002, 10:34 AM
I have my second interview at the Great Indoors @ 9 am. I am about to change the baby's pants and then go look at cute and as thin as possible. My dragonfly skirt was a tad tight last night when I tried it on but with support top hose and nice undies, I should look good. Well, I will try and update this afternoon. Depending on what they say, I may or may not go in and work today. My boss was such an angry woman yesterday, that I was so happy that I would be leaving soon. She really needs to learn to relax! ~flower

01-16-2002, 11:51 AM
Good morning all!

Well, day 3 of my "fresh start". Ug.... I'm handling breakfast and lunch pretty good, but I've really screwed up dinner the last 2 nights. Last night was partly because I didn't feel all that great (bad lunch meat :() so I pasta'd myself - carb-fest comfort food. I am planning my meals, but I go to cook and something in me snaps and I just make whatever sounds good - NOT what I had written down. I'm going to try again tonight - and every night until I have a totally OP day. I have felt hunger pangs though!!! That is a step in the right direction isn't it???? :p

Ruthie - I'm so glad your meeting went better than it had been, and that they actually had a relevent topic - not just the social stuff, which is nice, but if you just wanted social you wouldn't be doing it there. Cheese is my thing too unfortunately. Pepper Jack in particular. Imagine how thrilled I was to learn Tillamook wasn't that far from where I now live! :D

Flower - Good luck on that 2nd interview - let us know how it goes!!

Lamorgan - I have a confession. I love housework. Ok, I know that makes me a very sick individual, but I love laundry, dishes and vacuuming in particular. When my friends from CA left after a 3 day stay they said "now the house can go back to "Better Homes & Gardens". :^: Geez... just don't call me "Martha" :p

Back to my yogurt and work...

Terri :wave:

01-16-2002, 05:25 PM
I got the job @ The Great Indoors. Details later on! :smug:

01-16-2002, 06:29 PM

:spin: :cool: :lol: Congratulations!:spin: :cool: :lol:


01-16-2002, 06:42 PM
Congrats, Flower!

01-16-2002, 07:32 PM
Oh fantastic!

01-16-2002, 07:52 PM
Whooo Hooooo! *snoopy dancing with Flower*


I'll be back later.

01-17-2002, 01:36 AM
CONGRATULATIONS FLOWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry been MIA but in the process of moving should be online again sooon Miss you all..................

01-17-2002, 08:02 AM
Congrats, Flower!

I have to catch up---I've missed you all! Been swept up in life 'stuff'--nothing extreme, just stuff. :)

01-17-2002, 11:10 AM
Hello girls. I am employed ft. The only ft florist there. There will be 4 p/t'ers. I met 2 of them while at the lab to pee for a drug test. . Wage is 10 an hour plus bonuses. Full benifits after 90 days. They match 70% on your 401k. And you only have to wait 90 days. My dad is coming down on Saturday to shop for black and white clothes with me. Actually my future step mom is shopping with me. And paying. :) That is our dress code, black, white or a combo of the two. Casual day is black jeans with black tennis shoes. I will live in that the first 4 weeks as we set up to open. My orientation is Jan 3oth. I am excited. 10 probably doesn't sound like a lot to you in big cities, but most silk florists start at 8 here in Vegas. Same for fresh florists in small shops. I could make 12 in a casino.

Yesterday I should have been on top of the world but I was so moody and so close to tears. I think I finally let my guard down to relax and all the repressed emotions came barreling in. I couldn't stop them. I basically was a vegtable all night. I ended up cleaning dishes and then making a homemade ham and white bean soup. It is simmering in the crock pot now. It smells wonderful!. I was planning on going into work yesterday but I couldn't deal with my boss in my emotional state. So, I told her I would work on Friday instead. But that will be all by myself. Which is fine by me.

Well, I forgot to fill in my birthday on my back ground check for my new job so I had better take off early and go run by there before work. Thanks for the congratulations. It means a lot coming from you! ~flower

01-17-2002, 02:36 PM
An off-program day today... 2.5 tortillas for lunch with tomato sauce and low fat cheese (the volume was the baddy) and 3 turtles. The chocolate kind... :(

I feel blicky.

I can salvage the day, though. Going to go right now and make some vegie 0 point soup for supper!

I have 2 insane 5 year olds running around today... :dizzy:

Pauline Campanelli (author of Ancient Ways and Wheel of the Year) is dead, I feel sad about that.


01-17-2002, 08:53 PM
Hey guys,

I thought it was just a reallllly quite week at 3FC's, I haven't had time to take the time to stick my head in and peak...

School is all consuming until at least the end of February. I am exhausted and I have only been in clinical for a week. The paper work is insane and so time consuming.

I have had a good week food wise. Weighed this morning and the scale says I am back down to 144 :) so at least it is moving in the right direction. I am living off of caffine (not a good thing) but I am also not snacking the entire time I have my head in a book, so that is good.

I start orientation on the floor at the Women and Children's hospital in the morning, I am excited but I really hate having to be there at 7AM... :( I am so not a morning person.

Well I have tons to do, sorry about not replying individually, might get the chance this weekend.

Flower - Congrats on the new job, it sounds great!!!!! Hope it is all you are looking for :)...

Hugs to all,

01-18-2002, 08:48 AM
Hey girls. I posted at length (when don't I? :D ) last night and the modem ate it before it got through.

I'll catch up tonight.


01-18-2002, 10:02 AM
Doncha just hate those message-eating modems???????

L - back on track today, we hope.

On the first of Feb hubby and I are going on an Owl Prowl at a conservation area/bird rehabilitation place... And after, a small Imbolc ritual (John's first!!). This is the first Imbolc in 3 years that I am not initiating into my woman's pagan group, it's nice to have something special to do.

John has thing for owls, so I thought it would be a nice evening out for us...

I'm so glad it's Friday, and we have nothing planned for this weekend. Just going to kick-back and relax.


01-18-2002, 11:03 AM
Lan Morgan-I wanna go on an owl hunt! I don't even know if we have owls here. I can go on a bat hunt. They visit me nightly when it is warm. :dizzy: Yes, real old fashioned bats.

I am dressed so nice and warm, drinking cider and eatting hot oatmeal with apples and raisons. My warmth will be over the second I walk out that door. Yesterday morning was freezing. Literaly, all the ice on the sidewalks was amazing. That doesn't happen very often.

I get to work all by myself today. And what fun thing is planned for my time? Typing sylabuses for my boss. Fun. Since class starts on Tuesday, I think it is important to get them done. Actually I don't mind since there will be no one looking over my shoulder checking for typos!!! (Isn't that what spell check is for?) And I am then gonna hang posters up. I may unpack photo albulms too. I get to listen to the radio and play with the kitten. Should be an okay day.

My dad is coming to visit tomorrow. I am going to the outdoor swap meet with my mom and sis in the morning. On Monday we get to watch the taping of the Wheel of Fortune. I should go try to find a sitter for GRiffin. I got 4 craft books for 4$ in the mail yesterday. I am so itching to get to the bead store for more wire so I can make something. Someday when the kids are older and Chris can find a real job, I am going to make jewelry for a living.

As for my diet...I am maintaining quite well. My tummy makes sure I don't over eat or eat anything way too bad for me. Or I am so uncomfortable. So I stay with small portions and watch out for milk and fat. Now if I could manage to fit in excercise!!!!

Amy-I will go do your 7 am shifts. I am a morning person! Have a wonderful first day! Wildfire-I used to copy all long responces before submitting because my modem would be so hungry too! :lol:

Hi Eydie, Shiela and Ruthie!!!! Well, I am off to be the wizard! :) ~flower

01-18-2002, 06:42 PM
Happy Friday all! The week's finally over...

I snuck on the scale and I'm down 1 1/2 pounds. Good and bad. Good that I'm down, bad that I'm still addicted to the scale... something to work on. I get too hung up on the numbers and try to weigh only once a week.

Tomarrow I have my "bowl better" clinic with some semi-pro bowlers. It should be fun. I'm wondering if one of them will have me try bowling left handed since I AM left handed and have always bowled righty. The last pro I talked to said I probably have a 200 game in me if I'd bowl "with the right hand". :lol: Yea, I wish...

Lamorgan - have a wonderful time watching the owls! We have both Screech and Great Northwestern owls here. The Screech owls make my hair stand on end. The GN owls are a soft "oooo, ooooo" - so pretty, and they're HUGE! Also hope you enjoy your early Imbolc celebration!

flower - ooooh, you're gonna make jewelry???? Fun!! Enjoy your visit with your Dad!

Have a great weekend all - "see" you Monday!


01-19-2002, 10:54 AM
Well, chicks, I need to decide what I'm going to do...I went to the periodontist on Thursday b/c my dental work didn't completely correct the damage from the periodontitis, and he said I need $2,500 worth of gum surgery. Of course, I want to do this work while I still have some dental coverage (i.e., before I quit my job), and so that I don't end up losing all my teeth down the road. I also still need another molar extracted, and then finally to have my cavities filled. So it's a lot of $$$, and my coverage is only up to $2,000 for the whole family (for optical and dental combined). My car also needs more work, as my brakes have been squealing for weeks now. In the meantime, I'm spending a WHOLE LOT of $$$ on this fast which I'm not compliant with, and they don't take credit cards like I originally thought they did (and they won't bill me), so it becomes a cash flow problem, and my p/t job has been kind of intermittent in giving me work (it's feast or famine; I can go a week or two with no income, and then get $150 worth of work to do in a few days, but in the meantime I'm going a week or two without the cash coming in).

I really feel like the smart decision is to drop the fast, but I also feel like a loser for doing that. On the other hand, I hate the thought of taking in so much sugar and chemicals (which is what's in the shakes). On the other hand, I love the group now. :?: :dizzy: What would you guys do? I've already learned a few valuable things from participating in the program:

1) Depriving myself makes me want to binge.
2) I need to learn better self-control.
3) I don't need to lose weight by a certain arbitrary date; it can take two years if necessary.
4) The most important thing is to think before I eat, to not eat when I'm full, and to exercise at least 4-5 days/week.

I feel like by understanding those things I may have crossed the most important bridge back out of Fat Land. You know, last night I talked to my sister, who was so disappointed with me for not sticking with the fast, and she was polite to me, but she did say well it's all about willpower, and I wanted to but didn't say, well then you quit smoking and we'll talk. Because I really truly believe that's a problem for a lot of smokers...it's easy not to eat when you smoke, but you take away the cigarettes and now food looks REAL good. When I smoked I ate one meal a day. Food wasn't important; cigarettes were paramount, in fact they ruled my life. So it's easy for my sister to talk about living on vegetable juices b/c she's using one of the best appetite suppressants around. And it's very very hypocritical of her to talk about willpower when she can't give up the cigs and won't even think about it. But I'm not going to go there with her; it's not worth it b/c she is too angry a person, and I don't want the fight. It won't benefit me at all.

Thanks for listening, chicks.

Terri, congrats on the loss! I know what you mean about the scale sometimes being the enemy! It's all about trends...a downward trend is allowed to have up and down blips within it, as long as the trend continues down.

Flower, I have a feeling things are on the upturn for you, with your positive outlook with the dieting and the new job coming up. Good luck with both!

Lamorgan, I'm jealous of your Owl Prowl! A local hiking club offers an eagle weekend occasionally -- I should do that trip! Oh yeah, I'm grounded b/c of DD...well, I should make her come with me, right?

Amy, congrats on your loss...good luck with the job and school!

Eydie, Sheila, Wildfire, come back soon!

OK, I'll shut up now! :lol:

01-19-2002, 12:05 PM
Things are looking up for the future! *snoopy dancing* We got the consolidation loan we applied for last week! We have a 2.5 year plan to be completely out of debt, have the downpayment for a house, and go out and buy that sucker! This endless renting and people on all sides of me is driving me nuts. There is a light at the end of this particular tunnel!

Ruthie, dental work is such a financial drain! I still haven't had that root canal because my insurance would only cover half of it, and not the crown I'll need. Yep, you should do as much as you can while your insurance will cover it. *shudder* Gum surgery....poor you. If you decide that economically you have to drop the fast, you are NOT a loser! Look at it this way, you've learned valuable lessons while you were on it, and can apply them to your eating plan. You can have a fresh start in your relationship with food since you've been mostly off it for a few weeks now. And this time, you're running the show! Don't listen to your sister for even a second! The ones who are closest to us often understand us the least. I am completely in awe of you for having the courage and determination to try this fast. :)

Punkin, you bowl too? I'm in a company league every Monday after work. This is my third season, had never bowled before. How was the clinic? Congrats on the loss!

Flower, you have a kitten at work? That would be so great! I don't think my company would go for it, though. I've got the crafting bug too...and Michaels has a huge sale on this weekend. Guess where I'm going later???

Lamorgan, the Owl Prowl sounds like so much fun! There is a resident hawk of some kind in an area of the North Service road on my way to work. He is so magnificent. A few times he was perched on the fence between the service road and the highway and I got to see how big he really is! I don't know what kind he is, though....haven't gotten a good look at his head. He's got a wing span of three or four feet, I'd guess, seeing him from a distance.

Amyjo, congrats on the loss! Remember to come up for air now and then with all that keeps you busy!

Eydie, hope things settle down for you soon. We miss you, too!

01-21-2002, 12:11 AM
Just rescuing us from the bottom of the list. Where is everyone?

01-21-2002, 10:15 AM
We spent our weekend doing some more painting. We have two staircases in the house, the front and back. The front hall and staircase we painted a couple of years ago, but the kitchen staircase and the adjoining 'sitting room' at the top of the stairs have been in rough shape. Well - the upper room is painted a wonderful 'light toast' colour, and the stairwell is half done. We will finish it next weekend when John brings home the ladder from work again. It's a wonderful ladder that will stagger stairs if necessary. The stairwell is really high, and I don't do ladders too well. Still tapping my home renovation energy.

Painting makes me really hungry, and in need of fast-fixes. Pizza Friday, and Szechwan Noodle on Saturday - eek.

One child home from school today with a cold, I'm hoping he's not sick because I recently put him back on dairy. Guilt, guilt.

Ruthie, I think you have to weigh the reasons you undertook this fast. If it isn't right for you , only you can decide to stop it. I would be concerned about the sugar content as well.

Flower, I love bats too. We have little brown bats in the summer that eat the moquitoes. They swoop around at dusk, but they are all hibernating now. We have fire-flies in the summer evenings too.

Wildfire, congrats on the loan! It's hard to save for a house. We would never have done it (I fear) without the inheritance from my parents. Sigh.

Punkinseed, hope you had fun at your bowl-clinic! When I first read your post I thought it read 'bowel clinic', and was happy to discover I had read wrong! :p

To everyone else I didn't name, sorry! I need to go get this day underway.

Have a great one!


01-21-2002, 12:22 PM
Good morning everyone...

Kinda headachey today, I get this way when the weather changes and we've had storms going in and out all month. I've been miserable.:(

Ate a bunch of #$%@ this weekend... back to journaling this morning anyway, which is good (doing my own modified WW type program). Friday I bought some new shoes for walking. Whether it takes me 10 months or 3 years I'm going to get healthy...

Ruthie - I left WW when I decided to put myself in braces for the 3rd time. It was over $4000 (ouch). For me, having my bite fixed (I had really, really bad TMJ) was more important than going to WW. I don't regret it. I used it as an excuse, but honestly, there was nothing keeping from following my own, or some other program without going to meetings. It sounds like you've learned a lot in your meetings, enough to be able to do something on your own while working on your dental needs. Now you just need to make the difficult choice. I don't think of you as a "looser" for having/wanting to leave (I'm sending a mental "Shuush!" to your sister). That decision is up to you and you alone, and no matter what you'll be supported here! ;)

Wildfire - Congrats on the 2 1/2 year plan! I just bought my first house in October and I tell ya' nothing beats it! I'm waiting for drier weather so I can paint something - ANYTHING!
The bowling clinic was fun. It was taught by the heads of our league, 3 elderly ladies all with averages from 180-220! It was 3 hours, no scores kept, and practice, practice, practice... By the time we left I could pick up both 7 pin and 10 pin spares. I also tried to throw a ball left handed (I'm a lefty) and it hit the gutter 2 feet from the foul line. I've decided to keep bowling "wrong" handed. :D

Lamorgan - "Bowel" Clinic??? :lol: Ooooh, I'm glad you were wrong!!!

Tha's all for now...

Terri :wave:

01-21-2002, 01:21 PM
I lost 25 pounds last year by following the WW points system on my own. It's been over 6 months now and I have probably gained back 5 pounds, which I feel not at all badly about. Walking is the key for me. My head-space had to be right there for this to work for me though. Much like quitting smoking, actually. I was ready for a life-change, and it has been a part of many changes that have snowballed on since last March.


Life is good.


01-21-2002, 05:58 PM
Well, I opted out of Opti Fast. The dopey director tried a couple pitches to get me to stay in, but I wasn't having it. I can't believe now that I was spending that much $$!!! It would have been worth it if it worked, but I wasn't compliant. So now I'm free to live as I please -- that's how I feel. Thanks guys for the feedback. More later -- I'm starving now and have to eat dinner. (Only had a couple slices of toast and two Opti Fast shakes today; gotta use them up.)

01-22-2002, 01:34 AM
Guess what I did today??? If you said a little bit of everything, you would be correct. I started the day off by cleaning the car. I cleaned my whole room yesterday, even the drawers. Then I went shopping with my soon to be step mom. I was hoping for an outfit or two but I lucked out big time. She got me a pair of gloria vanderbilt 5 pocket jeans in black. On sale for 24.99. A pair of gv stretch jeans-nopockets in black. A pair of no waistbank, side zipper, no elastic pants in black, a black silk pair of pants w/ bead trim and a solid matching silk blouse, a black and white check silk shirt, a white elizabeth claiborne long sleeve tee with a heart neckline, a pair of black clogs (so comfy) and a pair of easy spirit walking tennies in black. Everything was at least on sale for 25% off. She spent at least 250 on me. I am spoiled. We shopped the womens dept in Dillards and Robinson May. But you wanna know the best part? I now wear a size 18, not a 22!!!!!!! I can zip them, move around ect. Anything bigger is frumpy and clown like!!!!!! Yippeee!!!!

During our shopping trip, my dad went with the family to Circus Circus adventure dome where they rode rides. (I had free passes)We met up with them about 4 hours later and they took Griffin back to the hotel and we went to the Hilton and watched 3 filmings of Wheel of Fortune. (more freebies) Interesting and fun. After that we headed to Boulder Station to pick up Grif and went had the buffet there. I am so full. Grif ate so much he barfed half of it as soon as we got home. I saw that coming a mile away!!! He ate way too much. I had a huge salad but no fattening stuff. I had grilled fish and veggies and 2 small desserts. I was good.

I have to work tomorrow. She says I made a mistake on the slyabus but I don't think I did. I will have to double check. She has a way of making me feel so stupid sometimes. I am glad I only have a week left! ~audri

01-22-2002, 06:39 AM
Oh Flower, good for you on the size 18!! I'm so happy for you ... you deserve to be spoiled!!

Terri, you said:

Whether it takes me 10 months or 3 years I'm going to get healthy...

And I am so there with you!! That is my philosophy now.

Lamorgan, you are so industrious -- I envy you that. I guess because I've lived in apartments the majority of my adult life and moved about every 2 years, I never had the urge to decorate. DD yells at me for that, but I rarely even put a picture on the wall. The one period in my life when I lived in a house it was a house my XDH (1st one) bought -- literally, I saw it once and then he decided to just buy it -- and I spent most of my time in the garden, not in the house, puttering and digging and weeding and planting; it was great.

Wildfire, good for you and your DH coming up with a financial plan and pursuing your dream of owning a home. I dig what you're saying about not wanting to live around neighbors whose behavior you can never predict. My downstairs neighbors still slam their doors like they're furious and I go to sleep every night listening to them laughing, talking, watching movies, yadda yadda. I feel like I live with them.

Yesterday was the start of my "No Diet/Just Live Right" plan, and it went pretty well. I didn't exercise, partly because the fresh snow kept me from wanting to walk outside, particularly in the dark, and partly b/c I didn't have time b/c I had typing to do. I had toast and an Opti Fast shake for breakfast, another shake for lunch, and leftover Teriyaki salmon and veggies with about a cup of rice for dinner. I got hungry later on and had a bowl of oat bran cereal with skim milk and raisins. In fact, I was so hungry all day I got a headache, but that should pass once I re-adjust. DD and I went to the local Whole Foods to shop for healthy, organic, sugar-free, whole-grain kind of foods. I am SO glad to be back to eating a diet based on fruits and veggies, whole grains, and soy. I do, however, feel compelled to drink some of those shakes, since I have so many here. Wonder if my sister wants them...At any rate, I realize now that was always gnawing at the back of my mind, that the Opti Fast plan was high sugar, no fiber, no veggie, and that really, really bothered me after two years of training myself to eat healthy. I wish I had looked at the ingredients and nutrition information on the shakes before I started, although I was on a mission so I might have disregarded that info just like I disregarded the cost.

All right, I've written a book again. Sorry guys, I keep doing this; I've taken to posting in the morning while I'm drinking coffee and I guess I just go on and on. Later!

01-22-2002, 10:00 AM
I love transformation, and when I take a room and wash the walls, then prime it and patch holes and eventually paint it it's magic to me. I'm healing the room. Usually we rented low-rent, dilapitated houses before we bought our first home. They had to be painted, because the previous tenants were 'questionable' to say the least... One house in Toronto had bikers, snakes and rats (pets) living there just before us. Now that house was a treat... The bathroom was unbelievable.

In my life where most jobs I've done for the past 14 years have been nearly immediately erased, this gives me lasting satasfaction. Laundry and housework is never really done, with jobs being undone within minutes of a cleanup. That's life with 4 kids.

And I have 'fussy' genes too. My mother, my sisters... I can't help it...

(I think Martha Stewart is a Goddess.......)


Anyway. Ruthie!!!!!!! Yahoo!!!!!!! I think you have taken such a healthy step! You can always save those shakes for those days you're on the go and don't have time to make a healthy or nutritous lunch.

Flower ~ I want an almost mother-in-law. I'd just love for someone to buy me some new clothes! And wonderful about the size. Actually, I have a new friend who is a shopaholic, and she does the used clothes circuit in a nearly full-time way. She sells the clothes she buys to upscale consignment stores. She also brings me the clothes she buys that are too small for her, and brought my youngest child who so badly needed pants 5 pair of really good quality sweat pants and gap jeans... And she brought me a pair of bellbottom jeans with satin trim on the bottom.

Oh well, I've rambled on enough. I'm sitting here drinking coffee too.

Hello to everyone else!


01-22-2002, 02:46 PM
Hi Everybody! I wanted to come on and admit that I'm really struggling now and I don't know why--feeling very sheepish and embarrassed. How is it that I can do so well and then screw it all up? Will I ever make peace with this self-sabotage? Physically, I'm feeling miserable but I know the cycle, I have hope but I'm at the "scary" point now where I'm terrified of gaining back the weight.

I'm currently doing that "Ill get back on track tomorrow" thing and we know what a trap that is!

01-22-2002, 04:49 PM
Hello all...

Well, it's official - I'm sick. Well, not *sick* as in a cold, but I've got a humdinger of a sinus thingy going on and got free bedspins this morning while debating on calling in sick. I didn't, but I did go in 1 1/2 hours late. Blech...

Flower - Awsome on the shopping spree! My ex MIL was like that (after 3 sons I was the only DIL) and it was really an odd feeling to be given carte blanche with a credit card. Greetings fellow spoiled one! ;)

Ruthie - I'm so happy you decided to try this on your own without the OptiFast. I haven't heard much about it, but if they're keeping you from fiber, fruits and veggies - eh, I'm not impressed! The shakes sound ok once in awhile, but as your only meals??? Eeek!
Anyway, good job!!! Think of all the money you'll save!

Lamorgan - Fussy genes!!! That's what I have! Thank you for diagnosing what my friends have been calling "Better Homes and Garden Syndrome" :lol:

Eydie - Oh, do I know how you feel... I lost 56 lbs., gained back 89, lost 90 lbs., gained back 130, lost 25 lbs., gained back 35.... No, I'm not kidding. I've been to goal 2 times in my life and both times I've gained it back, plus... I think the biggest part of quitting the self-sabotage, is learning self-forgiveness. We've got to eat and eatting is an addiction, but we have to have an addiction in moderation - and it sucks. I know how you feel - be gentle with yourself and know that you'll come around. We always seem to go in waves - know that that next wave is coming and hold on to it. It's always day-by-day... We can do it (heck, we've done it before!!) :smoking:

S'all for now...

Terri :wave:

01-22-2002, 10:28 PM
Hi, I'm here, reading quickly. Just been busy and tired, and strangely sick last night.

Flower, way to go on the smaller size! Enjoy your new duds!

Ruthie, glad you've made a decision on the OptiFast. I didn't like to see you struggle. At least now you know what it's like, and that question can be put to rest.

Lamorgan, I love to redecorate too, but living in apartments I'm limited to what I'm allowed to do. I want my own house again where I can express myself!

Pumpkin, the bowling clinic sounds great! I'll have to ask at our alley to see if they have such a thing.

Eydie, come on back.....that horse is waiting for you to climb back on!

01-23-2002, 06:49 AM
Hey Eydie, DON'T feel embarrassed...especially not with us. Maybe right now you need to take it really slow and focus on one day at a time instead of looking long-term, where you see yourself either maintaining or gaining. Just try to make each day a good day for yourself. I do know what you mean about putting it off till tomorrow; I've put it off for many tomorrows myself. Pop in more often and talk to us! :)

Lamorgan...fussy genes...that's funny. My mom is a spic-and-span kind of woman, ultra neat, we weren't even allowed to sit on the living room sofa for fear we would sully it somehow. I think it might be b/c of that that I ended up being a messy person. I know where everything is that I might need to get my hands on, but it's all in big piles stacked around the house.

Punkinseed, sorry you're feeling sick; hope it passes soon.

Wildfire, what does "strangely sick" mean? Sounds like a euphemism for pregnancy, LOL! Hope you're feeling better, too.

Thanks everyone for your supportive comments -- wow, you all seem so positive now that I've quit Opti Fast; you should have told me it didn't seem like a good idea!

01-23-2002, 08:08 AM
Thanks, guys! I know I'm among friends; I was just so disappointed with myself!
I'm really sick of feeling so bad physically and feeling like I'm not being true to myself. And it doesn't help that I cook for a living and at work I try to go as healthy and low-fat as possible but sometimes that doesn't work with the patrons so well. I don't keep any sweets at home but at work cookies are my specialty and they're good! But I've cut myself off before and I can do it again.
I'm checking in early before work to declare my good intentions so hopefully I can give a good report this afternoon when I get home!
My favorite jeans are tight now--ick--who needs that? Speaking of clothes---what a great shopping spree, Flower! And way to go on the lower size!
Ruthie, I'm glad you're feeling peaceful about your decision. I would've been thinking about it being 'sugar water' constantly too!
Lamorgan, are you into feng shui? If not it might be an interesting element to add to your redecorating!

Off to work! I can do this!

01-23-2002, 11:01 AM
Good morning all...

Just checkin' in... Doing much better today (thanks Ruthie!) since I started taking some sinus meds. I have a slight sore throat, but I think that's just some drainage (a good thing!). I swear, allergies in winter??? I must be allergic to air... (I am allergic to mold, but it's too dry here for it).

Indulged in some veggie pizza for dinner since the entire days' meals were 4 biscuits for breakfast and a bowl of mashed potatoes for lunch (carbs are my feel-better food, can you tell??). So I didn't feel too bad having the pizza - although it did sit like a little rock in my stomach... Still, good goin' down! :p

Later gators,


01-23-2002, 01:58 PM
Hey guys!!

Long time no post! I have been really busy- too busy to eat but the scales are not showing that! Worked all weekend- hospital life is definitely different than the business world! It will take some getting use to!

Ruthie - Hope that all is well! Glad you made your decision sorry about the dental work!

Flower - Congrats on the size change! It is nice to go expecting to buy one size and coming home with one several sizes smaller! :)

I think my scale must of finally fixed itself! It has been weighing 6 pounds light for the past year and now it is steadly hanging at the number I should of been. It isn't just weighing heavy with me it is weighing heavy with the whole household so... I am officially at 150 :( and I am not happy about it!

DH and I bought a stand alone weight set-up and put it together in our workshop outside. I can definitely tell I haven't been working out.. but I have been consistently for the past 3 days and hopefully I will soon be able to get back to my old regimine?... Next investment is a treadmill- I am cancelling my membership at the Y... because I can't make it there.. I don't feel quite so bad about working out in the workshop- I am still home and not completely abandoning my kids. Matter of fact they are out there with us most of the time...

School is going :( I am so tired that I can't stand myself! I have to write a paper this afternoon.. that is due tomorrow.. so I had better get on it since we are having company tonight.

Hope that everyone is doing good, it sounds like it!

Hugs to you all,

01-23-2002, 03:02 PM
Back from work. I made it thru the day sugar-free but man, am I grumpy!!!! Detoxifying, I guess! :lol:

Bought a box of mandarin oranges today and I'm looking forward to when I choose one over a cookie. Right now, it seems so far away---maybe I can get someone to tie me to a post in the basement until I'm over my sugar cravings, just let me sweat it out!

I gathered my guts up to weigh myself yesterday and I'm at 150--my lowest weight was 137 pounds and I'd like to get back to that. Problem is I want it right now! :devil:

01-23-2002, 09:40 PM
I am not doing anything this weekend! I feel like all I am doing is go go go and go. I left for work at 7. Left there at 1, got home just in time to get Chris and Griffin for Grif's doc appt for his immunizations and then dropped them off. I came home for 5 seconds to make sure the boys got home okay and then went to Albertsons to shop. Put groceries away and made dinner for everyone. I am not eatting, as I am too wound up, but I have been munching on some kettlecorn. I may go open a can of mandarin oranges in a bit. That sounds way yummy! Chris went to go get his brother who is bringing over his Nitendo Game Cube. They will all discover how cool it is, and for the next few week, can we get one????? Will be the most common used sentence around here. UGH! So this weekend will be mommy r and r time. Most deserved! Hope everyone is good and I will be more interactive soon. I am on autopilot right now. ~flower

01-24-2002, 07:00 AM
Boy oh boy oh boy. I am calling out of work today. I just can't stand that job anymore; I could die of boredom and bitterness. After 14 years there, I am ready to go. I have made myself a promise never again to work just b/c of the $$ unless I absolutely have to -- I've done that for 22 years, working ungratifying office jobs so I could raise my DD. Well, DD is raised and I want to let things other than just $$ guide me. I really don't care about my lifestyle much in terms of having a big apt. or a nice car (or a car at all; I'd just as soon not have one if I don't need one) or clothes or whatever. At any rate, I'm trying to figure out a way to quit that job a month earlier than planned. I just have to sit down and figure out a good estimate of my expenses for May through July, and I have to find out from work/insurance carrier if and how I could continue health insurance coverage through the summer. The sooner I get out of there, the better. I had hoped to leave May 31; now I'm hoping for May 3, which is a payday which could cover May's rent. February 1 is coming up, which means I have to give my landlord his 90 days notice that I plan to leave July 1. Although that's a scary feeling, God willing, if DD and I need a place to stay for a few weeks or a month until we go off to wherever, we could probably find someone to stay with. And it's a good feeling to start tearing down the old life in preparation for the new life. Can't wait for the new life; dying of boredom here.

The other issue is the Guy. I have been thinking and thinking and thinking, and I think maybe I need to let go of that idea too. You know, who knows what the future will bring? But for now, why am I jumping from one man to another? Why muddle my life with this issue? No matter how much I care about him, is it really necessary to mingle my life with his? Or is it better to feel free to take care of things according to my own agenda -- considering I've never done that in my whole life? And not worrying about a man also frees me up to deal with my weight in a way I see fit. Does that make sense? I just need right now to get rid of everything that doesn't directly enhance my life. Even things that have the potential to enhance it, but right now might be difficult to work through, need to be deferred.

Well, sorry I went on and on. Feeling very philosophical the past few days. There are days when my job just suffocates me, no matter how hard I try to suck it up. And things are changing there so much so rapidly that I am really nervous about the security of my job, and I want to jump ship before it sinks. I have been a responsible parent, doing the right thing even though it chokes me, for 18 years, and I only have a few months left. Not to say I won't be responsible when she's in college, but the burden will be lighter; in fact, if I don't have a good-paying job, she will get more financial aid! And she will get health insurance through school. She has $$ that she inherited which will help cover her first year while I'm in grad school (God willing), and then after that I will (God willing) be working again and can help cover at least some of her expenses. But we will both be poor students, which will cleanse both our souls.

All right, I'm done. Catch youse all later.

01-24-2002, 09:49 AM
Walked this morning in the pouring rain. Wet, wet, wet. It's pajama day at school, so I had to find them all decent pjs to wear to school. Feels very wrong watching the 3 younger kids walking across the park in their pajamas...

Eldest child is stressed because he has his first ever exam this morning, and didn't have a scientific calculator, and blah, blah, blah.

My energy is low, I feel wiped out today. I have an assignment due tomorrow, so that's what I'll be working on today.


01-24-2002, 11:18 AM
Good morning and happy Friday eve!

I think I finally straightened out my dinner *issues*!! Last night was black bean soup with polenta and tonight, tri-tip with a baked potato... Ooooh, feels good to not go to bed stuffed to the gills every night! And the scale shows it - imagine that...

Amyjo - I'm tired just reading your posts! What is it that you do in the hospital? I hope you find that energy reserve you need soon!!

Eydie - Yes, grouchy sugar detox. I almost got violent yesterday when I didn't have a chance to get my M&M fix. 2 days, no M&M's... :devil:

Ruthie - I really hope you can find a way to get outta there early. I decided years ago too to never again have a job I hate because of the money. I'm a much, much happier person because I love my job (which is also the family business). Besides that, every so often it's good to shake life up a bit - keeps ya on your toes and makes you grow as a person. Good luck and I hope all the "God willing"'s come true. :angel:

Lamorgan - PJ day?!? I wanna go to that school!!!! Well, I guess I can't complain... I haven't worn shoes while I work for 2 years now and sweats are part of my "dress code". :p

Well, I better get some work done so I can spend tomarrow being a bum. Our company is about to expand so I better enjoy the peaceful Friday's while I can!

Later gators,
Terri :wave:

01-24-2002, 11:18 PM

Good food day today.... not so good yesterday, such is life! Lifted a few weights tonight but had to run DD to the skating rink for their school night there- so I didn't do too much. It is dreary here, can't decided if it wants to rain or not so it is just enough to make it hard to walk, since you can't tell if the bottom is going to fall out any minute.

Terri - I am a 3rd year nursing student. I go to school Monday through Thursday (16 credit hours - that doesn't count the time you have to submit to pass this Gosh awful program)...I started working at our local Women's and Children's hospital (state hospital affliated with the college) last friday as a Patient Care Assistant(nursing assistant). It is really cool because the nurses know which nursing assistants are Student nurses and some of them are real cool about letting you see procedures or assist with procedures you wouldn't normal see or do (even in class)... This past weekend I got to see the ER Dr. perform a spinal tap on a 2 month old baby, I got to see a C-Section during my 4 hour orientation in the Labor and Delivery department.... This was in my first 3 days there :) I was suppose to be working on the Mother/Baby hall but I decided I really want to work in the Evaluation Center (ER) it was so cool, always busy... Had a blast! (my DH said that weird things excite me.. :p Oh well what can I say, I am weird)

Ruthie - Before I quit my job last January (January 18th) to be exact, I was to the point of losing it too. I hated it beyond description. I just wanted to die every time I had to go through the door and it showed on my face and in everything I did. I liked some of the people I worked with and I did a good job at what I did but the BS that went along with the job made it miserable... I hope that you are able to put things together and get out of there as soon as you can. My old boss wants me to come back this summer and do accounts receivable while a girl is out on maternity leave... :( I just don't see how I will be able to... I am working at the hospital now, summer semester I am only required to do 12 hours but that is alot for a short semester...3 classes and then do their accounting on top of it .. Oh I don't think so! So is everything confirmed with DD and Spain?

Flower - I know how you feel run run run run .... I feel like the gingerbread man but I really wish someone would catch me!

Eydie - Girl you have a handle on it... You will be back on base before you know it! I don't know how you handle it as well as you do working around food everyday... I would lose it major! That is one thing so far about the hospital, I don't get hungry there... too many germs!

Anyone heard from Summer, Sheila or Lynds? Has anyone thought about starting a new thread?

Got the day off tomorrow I think I might go for a run in the AM while the kiddo's are at school... I really just need to sit on my duff and study but gosh I need to get back OP...

Hugs to you all!


01-25-2002, 06:24 AM
Good suggestion, Amy. I'll start a new thread. See everyone there!