100 lb. Club - It finally happened

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09-26-2007, 10:00 AM
Well, I have said many times that I dreaded the day...and today was it.

As sweet as can be Jacob turned to me and said "Mommy, you know what? Your tummy look like it has a baby in it" I kindly explained that I don't have a baby in it and that Mommy is just Heavy. And I left it at that.

I tried very hard not to make a big deal out of his comment. But inside I sunk. :(

09-26-2007, 10:08 AM
from experience I know how that makes you want to hide your head in the sand. It hurts so much. I think you handled it wonderfully and telling him the truth is a great way to be accountable for your weight. I know the day will come Sandi that you will remember this day as the beginning of the determination to loose all the weight.

09-26-2007, 10:58 AM
I can so relate. My 3yr old daughter made a comment about a month ago that really got me going.
She very honestly looked at me and said " Mommy why do you have 2 tummies?" I kinda just stood there in aww. She then said I don't have 2 tummies and daddy doesn't have 2 tummies. WHY?
I was very honest with her and explained that I was just overweight.
Let me tell you it definitly jump started me back into focus.
Just think of it this way. If we can't rely on our loved ones to be honest then who can we rely on.
Best of luck to you and don't let it get you down.

09-26-2007, 11:05 AM
:hug: :hug: hug:

Oh Sandi, I think you handled it very well. It's tough when our loved ones ask something especially embarrassing to us (it was the faded stretch marks on my arm for me), but don't let it get to your determination. You can definitely lose weight. You know you can lose weight. GOOD LUCK!

09-26-2007, 11:05 AM

09-26-2007, 11:10 AM
Wow, by the title of your post I was hoping for something good....

Maybe it IS good....if it motivates you in the right direction....:)

But right now I am sure your heart is hurting, so big hugs to you, sweetie...

09-26-2007, 11:15 AM
Yep, I know just how you feel. I also know that you have it in you to change the circumstances. :hug: Sending you encouragement to reach for the possibilities!

09-26-2007, 11:59 AM
A couple of months ago I picked DD up from school and she walked behind me so I could block the sun. She asked me why I can block the sun I told her b/c I was big, I didnt mean for her to think I was fat. So she asked why I was big and I told her b/c I ate too much, then she asked Why did I eat to much, Leave it to a 3 yo to ask a ton of questions. Every now and then she'll bring it back up that I eat too much.

Kids have a very innocent way about them that can really bring us to face the music.

09-26-2007, 12:07 PM

09-26-2007, 12:21 PM
Sandi, I'm so sorry that the dreaded question came up. Not only did I fear it coming from my children, but from their friends as well. And any other little innocent child too. Obviously they mean no harm. But nevertheless, it hurts. A LOT. :hug:

He's so lucky to have such an honest, straightforward and thoughful woman for a Mom.

Jacob used his sweet innocence today, imagine the next time - he just may use it to say something like "Hey, mom, how come it seems that you're melting away?!?!"

09-26-2007, 12:40 PM
Oh, my, I know you were really dreading this, Sandi. :hug: Stick with your plan today no matter how bad you feel. Look at your letter to him, and let him be motivation for you to continue.

09-26-2007, 01:01 PM
OUCH! My heart goes out to you.

09-26-2007, 01:21 PM
Ah, I have a 6 year old, so I can relate. It's painful, I know. Big hugs.:hug:

09-26-2007, 01:32 PM
I once had a similar comment, only mine was at Disneyland with lots of people around, including some family & friends. I had on a babydoll top (to accomodate my large belly) and the Tigger character (Disney characters roam the park and always attract a big crowd) ask me (loudly) when my baby was due!! Not one to lie, I said I wasn't pregnant, just fat. Eveyone laughed, so I cracked a smile, but inside I wanted to crawl under a rock!

09-26-2007, 04:28 PM
Oh, Sandi. :hug:

09-26-2007, 06:16 PM
Hugs to you Sandi :hug: I know that must have been hard to hear. Maybe by this time next year he'll be asking where the baby in your tummy has gone!

09-26-2007, 09:30 PM
Oh Sandi! :hug: I know you were waiting for the shoe to drop on this one! I too, think you handled it great!

But how are YOU doing, now that you've had more time to process it???

09-26-2007, 10:19 PM
Kids are curious people who are apt to say exactly what they're thinking or ask about what they are questioning. I believe you gave him a good straightforward answer, even though it hurt.

On a similar note, a good friend of mine was shopping in a department store a couple years ago when a young kid said something very loud about her weight. Just an open and brutally honest "That lady is big". Younger children do not know better. They don't necessarily equate differences with bad things (it's how adults they are around react to them that children get their clues). Nor do they always know when to just keep their mouth shut... they learn that in time. Needless to say my friend was mortified, but said she felt a million times better when the kid's dad said (almost straight out of a child rearing handbook)to the boy "People are all kinds of shapes & sizes, isn't that great?" And made a swift retreat.

09-26-2007, 10:35 PM
oh that must have been awful ! i think i would have cried ... at least it was a child they mean no harm, they are so innocent. they dont understand... turn this negative into a positive use that as your inspiration ... play with your child more run around with them take em to the park keep active with them it will reinforce not only are you doing this for youself but for your family too !

09-26-2007, 10:43 PM
"People are all kinds of shapes & sizes, isn't that great?" And made a swift retreat.

What a fantastic reply - I'll have to remember that next time a child points something (weight related or otherwise) out.

I had my moment when my godson asked me while in line for the waterslide at the pool why I was fat & then proceeded to list all the people we know that are not fat.

Kids are just so honest!

09-26-2007, 10:46 PM
I had my moment when my godson asked me while in line for the waterslide at the pool why I was fat & then proceeded to list all the people we know that are not fat.

Kids are just so honest!

Ouch >_< I feel that pain.

09-27-2007, 09:16 AM
((HUGS)) I know how much it hurts. Bailey use to tell me that I was fat. Id explain that its not nice to call anyone fat. With him being his innocent self he said "But its true." Your not alone, Ive BTDT. I remember how upset I was. But think of it this way.. your on the right path, your already losing weight. Soon he will be calling you skinny :)

09-27-2007, 10:06 AM
My ds is the same age as Jacob and so I'm waiting for this one as well. I think he is noticing the differences in people's sizes as he once made a comment about somebody (we were not close enough that this person would have heard) and I really don't remember what I said because I was really thinking about this, that his next comment would be about me. I probably said something about it not being important what someone looks like. Well we know it is inevitable but painful just the same.


09-27-2007, 01:15 PM
Thats hard. I wish my older kids remembered me being thin, but they don't. In the last month, my 2 yr old has been saying to me every so often, "You're too big!"... I know she means I am too big FOR something (she says, Mommy get in my bath? Nooo, you're too big!" or "Mommy you're too big to go on the slide" but still...)

11-10-2007, 08:28 AM
And then it gets worse...

Yesterday at school a boy was making fun of me for being fat out on the playground. "Your mom is so fat, she can't fit in her car". :( I was alone when Jacob told me the story. He was so kind about it, even saying I wasn't fat. I told him that I was, but I was also working on it, that's why I was counting calories and exercising. He handled the situation well.

I am so upset about this, I just want to cry. This isn't what I wanted for my life. :cry:

11-10-2007, 08:39 AM
Oh, Sandi! :hug: It breaks my heart to read that. I think I would cry about that. And then I'd get mad and use it as further incentive. You ARE doing this.

And you can also take heart in having such a sweet sweet little boy.

11-10-2007, 08:43 AM
Sandi, you handled that well. I know how you are feeling, but there is a silver lining in this.
You ARE changing your life - celebrate your success so far
Your son is learning how to deal with insensitive people - of which he will encounter many in his life
This was/is a great opportunity to help your son understand and help you break the "cycle" within your family
This confirms that you are doing a great job raising your son - he sounds like a wonderful young man

I know patience and perseverance are hard, but you hang in there girl! a BIG :hug: - you deserve one!

11-10-2007, 09:17 AM
Sandi, my heart goes out to you. I know how terribly upseting this must be to you. But love, it doesn't have to stay this way, I know you know that. You have the power, the strength needed to change this. You're working on it. You're dealing with it and it's going to change. You're going to teach that dear boy, that anything is possible when one sets their mind to it. That nothing is insurmountable.

One day, Jacob's friends are all gonna talk amongst themselves about how good looking and beautiful Jacobs Mommy is. I know it. I just know it. :hug:

11-10-2007, 09:25 AM
Oh honey....:hug:

11-10-2007, 09:26 AM
Sandi - hugs to you! I can't say anything to you that these very wise ladies have not already said - BTDT.


11-10-2007, 10:41 AM
Hang in there! :hug:

11-10-2007, 11:00 AM
My daughter told me last week that my belly is big cause I eat to much McDonalds.... GOTTA LOVE THE HONESTY!!!!!!!!:p

11-10-2007, 04:20 PM

Hurt about it for a while, and then get angry. Turn anger into passion, and use it to drive you forward. You are doing this, and that's the important thing. You're making changes in your life, and you are obviously a strong woman, and you deserve a lot of credit for that.

Just hang in there.

11-11-2007, 12:42 PM
:hug: I can definitely relate.. A while back, after I had just regained 22lbs after hurting my foot and getting depressed, we went to a friend's house for a birthday party. My dh's boss was there and his 5 year old says "How'd you get so fat again, Miss Dee?" just right in front of everyone. I was mortified. How do you respond to these things? Just remember, we can do this... and hopefully the question will one day be How'd you get so skinny??? Hang in there Sandi!


11-11-2007, 01:05 PM
Oh Sandi! I feel so bad for you. I've been there on a couple of occasions...one I remember very clearly at a consignment shop....the saleslady asked me when I was due...:foot:.sigh....it's SO embarrasing......
I agree with Robin...some day Jacob will be asking questions that you won't have to dread!!!! :hug:

11-11-2007, 01:28 PM
With children it's more likely they're just asking innocently,but with adults it's hard to tell.We invited brotherinlaw and his family to eat and when I mentioned that I can never open bottles after husband closes them BIL comments,"It's probaly to stop you from eating!".I was at a funeral last year when my Aunt walked up and started rubbing my stomach,"When the little one due?!!!" She exclaimed loudly.I looked down at her and said,"I'm not pregnant.....just fat."...She laughed and apologized.After this,we decided to develop some photos from Thanksgiving and look at the videotapes from that eventand I didn't even recognize myself.I DID look pregnant....I tell myself now,"Just because you feel or look a certain waydoes not mean it really is that way"I've been lying to myself...I'm not doing that anymore.I look good at 135-140 pounds..until I weigh that much I'm sticking to my plan.Period.

11-11-2007, 05:12 PM

11-11-2007, 05:36 PM
For two years my son (now age 6) had been going around telling everyone that I had a baby in my tummy. I was constantly being asked when I was "due" and getting "congratulations". I gave up telling them I wasn't pregnant, it was less embarassing to both myself and others if I just nodded and smiled.

I know how you feel!!

I've lost almost 20 lbs, and my tummy seems to have gone down a tad but there's still more work to do :)

11-11-2007, 05:50 PM
I'm so sorry to hear that. Big hugs, Sandi. :grouphug:

11-11-2007, 07:43 PM
:hug: I am sorry Sandi. :hug:

11-11-2007, 09:51 PM
I think any of us who are or have been heavy really feel the pain right along with you because we have all been there. I remember when my oldest DD was in kindergarten and a little girl asked her why her mommy was so fat. Actually that was 15 years ago and ironically i weighed much less then than now! It hurts, but don't let it eat you up. Your son loves you and is proud of you, no matter your size.

11-11-2007, 11:53 PM
oh Sandi.. that hurts. there is no way to sugar coat it. it hurts inside. on a bright note it makes you realize the innocence of a child. hugs to you.

11-12-2007, 01:06 AM
I know Jacob loves you just the way you are!!!

11-12-2007, 01:20 AM
Hugs, Sandi.

Cuter w Curves
11-14-2007, 01:48 AM
Oh heck... Do I ever feel for you!

Mine told me I was the "Big mommy" and she was the "little girl"... And I know it was innocent enough but that stung.

Not to mention that I can't help but wait for a Junior Kindergarten to say something about myself or the one other parent who is not so slim really when we drop off our kids.

I wish for you the comment I had this weekend:

"Mommy... You're just not comfy anymore. HERE! Put this pillow on you so you are more comfy!"

One of the best things I have ever heard!


11-14-2007, 03:20 AM
For my 3YO daughter, "big" is the best compliment that she can give or receive. She's the youngest, so that explains why. She corrects me if I call her a "little girl," and she constantly tells me that I'm a "big, big mommy" or - the ultimate compliment in her world - that I'm "way huge."

11-14-2007, 01:38 PM
And then it gets worse...

Yesterday at school a boy was making fun of me for being fat out on the playground. "Your mom is so fat, she can't fit in her car". :( I was alone when Jacob told me the story. He was so kind about it, even saying I wasn't fat. I told him that I was, but I was also working on it, that's why I was counting calories and exercising. He handled the situation well.

I am so upset about this, I just want to cry. This isn't what I wanted for my life. :cry:

:hug: I"m so sorry, sometimes kids can be so cruel. I can remember about 8 yrs ago babysitting for some brats, ( and I"m not just saying that, they were brats, lol ) and we were making popcorn and he said something like really simple like "you're fat!" and I just replied with an angry
( not really angry, but stern "AND"?? and he just looked at me, and I said it's not poliete to call ppl fat, don't ever say that again to anyone you think is fat. He just said ok, i'm sorry.

11-14-2007, 02:03 PM
Thanks for all your support, you guys are the best. :hug:

It looks like it was an isolated event (nothing has happened since) so for that I am grateful.