100 lb. Club - How do you "accommodate" your weight?
09-17-2007, 06:01 PM
I have noticed for a while that being at such a high weight I "accommodate" my weight. I do it all day long...
In the morning, I make sure I put on all my jewelry and completely finish getting ready, just so that I won't have to go back upstairs again.
Often I leave out the front door and go into the garage that way, instead of going through the house which has more stairs.
I park as close as I can to the entrance of Jacob's school and my work.
If I can (and if it won't take away from the class) sometimes I sit in the back and teach instead of standing in the back when I teach.
At night, once I am in "my chair" my family accommodates my weight. Everything from getting me more water to letting the dog out. I just sit.
I even SCREAM upstairs to my husband instead of walking up there to speak with him.
This "accommodation" really came forward this weekend as I traveled out of state with a friend to see some other friends. It was everywhere, sitting next to me on the plane, so I didn't have to squish someone else, tables instead of booths, switching me seats so I would be more comfortable. Stopping shopping because I looked tired.
I long to be a person who doesn't need "accommodation"
How do you accommodate?
09-17-2007, 06:05 PM
If there isn't anyone else in the bathroom, I use the handicap stalls because they are roomier. I use to make my kids do everything like taking the garbage out or running down to the car to get something for me but I am trying to do these things myself since a few extra trips up and down the stairs won't kill me.
I use the handicap bathroom too.
09-17-2007, 06:12 PM
I guess the first step is hauling our asses outta the chair and walking up the stairs LOL Fortunately my DH would not take kindly to being yelled at to get me stuff, and he'd tell me so hahahaha something along the lines of "is your leg broken missy???"
I know what you mean tho, I'm always "scanning" new situations to see if I'll fit, etc. I like to go to the same restaurants because I know the booths are roomy and I won't have my boobs sitting on the table LOL
but no matter what, no matter where, chin up girls! no need to apologize for who we are, just forge ahead and continue on our journey
09-17-2007, 06:14 PM
I have actually driven, a bunch of times, the 1800 mile round trip to our vacation house in Arizona rather than fly because I lived in fear of being embarassed in front of my husband by a gate person who wanted me to buy an extra seat.
09-17-2007, 06:15 PM
I used to ask my son to get things for me all the time, but then I realized it and I felt pathetic about it, and I stopped.
I don't notice so much what I DO to accommodate my weight, but I recently started employing a mindset of doing whatever I can to UN-accommodate my body ... normally, I'd bring the empty laundry basket to the steps and throw it downstairs where the laundry is, now I carry it down. I look for the farthest spot to park. I offer to get up and get someone a glass of water. I help people carry things. I hang my clothes on the clothesline instead of using the dryer. Whatever I can do to burn more calories.
Ive asked Dh to get stuff off of the bottom self in a store before because I was too lazy to bend over and he called me on it. lol. Thankfully he is wonderful. Normally though I do not / did not ask him to do things for me. He doesnt ask me to do things for him either.
09-17-2007, 06:25 PM
Sandi, that was me to a "t". I couldn't have described it better. I did just about every single thing you mentioned in your list. Amazing.You just brought back quite the memories for me.
I'll tell you this, one of the first things I changed, in order to force myself to be active, was for me to get everything for my family, instead of the other way around. I got them THEIR drinks. I got up to answer the phone. I was the one to take out the garbage (my kids loved this one). I now was the first to clear the table and do the dishes (they were pretty fond of this one as well ;)). You name it and I just started - doing it. I tried to sneak in activity at every moment, instead of avoiding it like the plague.
I did the screaming across the house as well. My kids would always mention it to me, like "Ma, why didn't you just come to my room and ask me?" Hmmm. Let's see, ummm because every step was a MAJOR effort for me.
Sandi, I had it with the seats and booths and shopping as well. I avoided airplanes for the past 15 years because of my fear of not fitting in them. I was just thinking today, funny enough, how I made 3 separate errand "runs" today. The first being the mall. And I stayed there waay longer then I used to be able to. I used to only be able to do "one run" and it had to be a short one at that.
I don't know what else to say to you, except that I understand 150%. :hug:
09-17-2007, 07:30 PM
I understand you completely. I was constantly asking my kids to bring me things; water, the remote control (lol), the phone, you name it. I used to ask my husband and son to help me stand up if I was in a reclining chair.
No booth for us, because chances are I wouldn't fit. And even if I might, I would be scared to try it in front of everyone. If it was a table, I would have to push it over to the other side of the seating area to accomodate myself.
I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I would discourage my children from running around and being "too" active, because I knew I couldn't keep up with them.
We did fly, because we have family that lives too far away to drive. I would buy three seats on one side of the plane, and ask my husband to sit by himself on the opposite row. That way I could sit by my kids and put the armrest up. There was no way I could get it down.
I would get so tired standing up and washing dishes that I would drag a stool over to the sink to sit on while washing up.
My mom, who is 25 years my senior, was in better condition than I was. I remember when one of us had to jump up on the back of a pickup truck and pull something forward. It wasn't me! There was no way I could jump up on it. She had to do it, she knew I couldn't...
Sandi, I understand where you are coming from. Some of this I wouldn't have even admitted to my family, who knew I was doing them. But, in reality, many people were having to accomodate me.
09-17-2007, 07:39 PM
I don't know how many times I caught myself pushing things down the stairs so that I wouldn't have to make several trips in order to get everything downstairs. Or how many days I didn't get my mail out of the mailbox because that would mean I would have to actually walk to the mailbox. And as far as bending over and picking something up goes - I don't think I ever bought anything that was on the bottom shelf at a grocery store and I always opted to kick something along on the floor until I reach a chair so that I could sit down to open it. Shoot, there was a time where I would actually sit on the floor and pull the vacuum cleaner around behind me rather than standing up to vacuum!!!
I am happy to report that even with my recent setback, at least I haven't gotten back into those old habits. One of the things that tickles me is when I'm half way down the stairs and I remember something that is still upstairs....I won't turn around then and go back. Instead I make myself finish going all the way down the stairs and then I turn around and go back upstairs!
09-17-2007, 08:03 PM
I would avoid the stairs like they were the plague (not now, I try to use them at all times)
I would wear dark colors all the time to a)look slimmer b)cover/hide excess sweat (nasty I know)
Always sit with something on my lap so no one can see my belly.
09-17-2007, 09:20 PM
Bending over to pick up something has always been an embarrassment for me - I have tried to find ANYTHING I could hold on to so that I could get back up - I dreaded getting stuck on the floor and having to crawl over to a wall or chair or table to give me support. And then there is clipping my toenails - having DH do it as an act of love and not admitting to myself that I couldn't reach them if I tried. I think I could go on and on if I got started. It is depressing to think about it. On the other hand, look how far we have come - even a few pounds made a huge difference in how many things I started doing for myself again. And - I even clipped my own toenails this week - woohoo!
09-17-2007, 09:40 PM
Argh! There were/are so many ways I "accommodated".
Stairs. Yup, avoided them like the plague.
Sitting on the floor. Found ways to not do it (finding a chair or something sturdy to sit on) because I was embarrassed for someone to watch me struggle to get up.
Kneeling. It is SO painful to kneel when you're heavy!! Crawling under my desk at work to fiddle with computer wires/plugs or retrieving something I dropped that go under a piece of furniture was the worst. I would make an excuse that I didn't want to get my clothes dirty (my office was so NOT dirty!)
Booths. I always said I like sitting at tables better. As if a restaurant hostess hadn't heard that or something similar from every fat person who came in.
Pillows on my lap. Whenever I watch TV around anyone else I grab a pillow or a blanket to put on my lap. I'm not getting cozy, I just don't want to worry about others seeing just how fat I am in the stomach. Standing up, it's easier to hide (in my mind) than sitting where everything gets squished in an unattractive manner.
There are probably a hundred other ways I do that, but these are the biggies that come to mind.
09-17-2007, 11:17 PM
The one that sticks out the most is the BOOTHS. I ask for a table, out of fear that I won't fit.
09-18-2007, 12:07 AM
I definitely have trouble kneeling, though I always feel like I could do it longer. In church I almost always end up in that kneel/sit position where my butt is on the bench and my knees on the kneeler.
Somehow this reminds me of a funny story. When I went apartment shopping last year, when I was at my absolute heaviest, this one place had large landscaped grounds, and I got a tour in this golf cart. Well, this cute, fit gal took me on the tour, and my side of the golf cart leaned painfully towards the ground. And everytime she went over a speed bump, my side of the golf cart noisily bounced off the speed bump under my weight. I was mortified but felt like laughing so hard. I felt so ridiculously funny, like some kind of sad circus clown.
09-18-2007, 02:27 AM
My mother used to yell at me, "Your sister is not your go-for!" (As is "go for this and bring me that."). No, she was not. And now, my Cute Boyfriend definitely is. Ugh!
09-18-2007, 09:03 AM
I also will get out the chair from the garage to sit in while Jacob is playing, instead of sitting on the front porch (which is so low, I often will need help getting up when I do sit there)
This has been a great thread and good ideas for more movement and less "accommodation"
09-18-2007, 10:28 AM
You know those white plastic outdoor chairs? When i was at my highest weight, I'd avoid those like the plague :) Funny thing though is I still don't trust those plastic outdoor chairs.
I remember though trying to always sit in the front seat of a car because the back seat seatbelts wouldn't fit me.
Another thing I noticed moving into my new townhome is that I go up and down the stairs constantly. In my old townhome, I would only go up and down the stairs if I had to do so.
On airplanes, I'd always try to get an aisle seat (or window) and I'd always try to get a seat where no one was sitting next to me so that I could use the tray table. My belly was too big to use my own tray table.
09-19-2007, 12:55 PM
I recently had an opportunity to try full suspension, hanging from a scaffold with a harness. The structure didn't look like it would hold someone of my weight, and clearly I was the largest person in the room. I declined, even though I really wanted to. I enjoyed watching people spinning, dropping backwards, looking like trapeze artists. By the end of the day, the instructor asked me if I had a chance to do full suspension. I said I couldn't because of my sciatica, and I was suppressing tears. I was too shy to ask, "Am I too heavy for that frame?"
09-19-2007, 01:31 PM
I would avoid fun outings with family and friends simply for the unknown... not knowing what obstacles may arise. I would say "I'm more of an indoor girl"
I don't think that's true at all. I just didn't want to be embarrassed trying to do something slightly physical and failing. As if the people around me don't know I'm fat. I'm not sure who I was kidding lol
I would also always survey the situation for the easy and widest way from point A to point B. So I wouldnt bump anyone or anything accidentally. Look for the sturdy lawn chairs and pray as I sit in them that it will hold. and NEVER make any fast movements for fear it will break.
Boy writing all this really hits home. I'm just wondering why it took me so long to finally really try and lose the weight. :?:
09-19-2007, 07:27 PM
Before I started being more active and actively pursuing my health (aka dieting) I would walk over stuff on the stairs instead of picking them up or leave something lay around because I know my husband would get it. I found myself telling my husband to do this that and the other thing, change the diaper, or grab me something--waiting until he got up to do something to ask.. NOW-- I make every effort to pick up what's on the floor, change my sons diaper, and I don't ask him to get me anything Unless I am in a position where I cant. I am parking farther away at work and taking stairs when I can. Even these suttle changes make you feel good you know?