WW Clubs and Groups - What will it take?




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MistySeptember
09-16-2007, 10:20 AM
Often you here people with weight issues talk about their light bulb moment. That moment that hit them so hard that they knew it was time to get up off their fat butts and lose weights.

For some it's a doctors' appointment and hearing or seeing the word obese, other's it's an embarrassing moment, or not being able to find clothes for a big event. People talk about not being able to play with their kids, or do an activity, hearing a comment from someone, some people it's catching a look of themselves.

Yesterday I went to Walmart to get some teacher appropriate attire. Not my favorite place to buy clothes but the only one available around here. I'M TOO FAT TO SHOP AT WALMART

They didn't have anything that fit well or looked decent and just to get a shirt I was a 4x! I have NEVER EVER even being 9 months pregnant worn a 4x! Now I believe and swear up and down that last time I bought this size it was a 3x at walmart, but either way. Nothing fit. They did not carry jeans or dress pants in my size. I own 1 pair of jeans and wear jeans at least 4 days a week now for work and home.

So I was thinking about all my light bulb moments. There have been many that should have spurred me to get a hint. I broke a chair (granted it was a really wobbly chair), I can't ever find clothes, for the first time in 30 years a doctor mentioned my weight recently, I can't run and play with my kids, my body litterally screams with pain when I get up like "OH GOD HERE WE GO AGAIN", my kids point out that I am fat, I can't fit on amusement park rides, a very sweet girl at work gave me her seat while we were watching kids on the playground (the only other option was a bench at the table which was right up to the wall, she knew I couldn't fit and said here you take my chair I can see better from over here) She knew I didn't fit, but didn't want to say anything. My sister who had WLS surgery gave me her fat clothes and borrowed my smaller sizes. I turned 30 and I was still fat. I literally had YEARS to get this done by that day and did NOTHING.

I don't know what it is going to take. I've "committed" so many times, so many events in my life had made me want to change. My 30th birthday, my wedding, birth of my kids, my sister's wedding, seeing my half sister for the first time in 10 years, my high school reunion (which I did not go to), seeing my fat ex-best friend now a size two, graduating from college, starting new jobs.

It's like fate, God, Karma, something is trying to tell me shape up or die at 40 from a heart attack and need 15 paul bearers to haul your fat butt into the grave, OR get it together, put in some effort and live your life. Do I need to get smacked in the face with a 2x4 before I finally get it?

I start out ok. But it seems like by the end of the week it's pizza night, or we have to go to town and the only dinner option is eating out. I mess up and then give up. I have the tools, I have the knowledge, I just have to put forth the effort. I'd like to say today is different that today will be the day. But I don't know.

We have a picnic for work today, every family brings their own pizza and a dish to pass. Then I am baking cookies for my first day of work at the school. The last speech therapist was always bringing treats, so I thought it'd be funny if I did too. My husband asked me to make stromboli which is my favorite and like 10 points for a slice that is the size of one of those really small cinnamon rolls from Pillsbury (you know the kind in the thin tube, not the huge fat ones but the kind you get like 12 rolls in one tube?).

How do I do it without overhauling my entire life and the lives of everyone around me? Maybe that is the only way. I don't know. Maybe I do need to be smacked with a 2x4.


Jpye
09-16-2007, 01:05 PM
MistySeptember,

My heart goes out to you. I wish it was easy, but it takes a lot of commitment and dedication. You're going to have to really dig deep within yourself and pull that out. Weight loss isn't fast, it's slow.. I think once you accept that, it will be much easier. Just because you have a pizza night at the end of the week, that doesn't mean you can't jump back on a healthy eating plan the next day and continue to lose weight. I do it every single week. Start out SLOWLY!! Don't suddenly jump into a dramatically different lifestyle. You can do it sweetie. You have 100 lbs to lose... be strong and start now before you have 200 lbs to lose. You'll be so happy and proud you did.

As for it overhauling your life and the lives of others... well, I'm sure it can be done very effectively without doing that, but my life is much different now that I'm eating better and exercising. I plan times in my week to exercise, I plan healthy meals and take the time each night to prepare them (even though I work and go to school full-time). I highly advise you to stop making all those yummy baked treats though. That's just going to make it hard on yourself. I know you probably want to make them for your loved ones and coworkers, but you need to start thinking about yourself... at least for a while until you get things under control. I promise you once you do this for a while, you'll no longer have huge urges to binge all the time (if you're doing it right and not depriving yourself). I know that my new eating style and exercise plan has effected my family and boyfriend. I don't know how to do this without it effecting them. My bf and I used to love to go out and eat all the time (well we still love it) but now we only do it once a week. Sometimes I feel bad that he has to give that up too, but then I realize it's really better for BOTH of us!

I know you can do this. Start slowly, and don't give up every time you "cheat" a little (or a lot).

jpye

modkittn
09-17-2007, 11:18 AM
Oh Misty I'm so sorry :( I really think everyone has a breaking point. Maybe this is it for you. Think about recomiting yourself NOW and do it for YOU because YOU want to be healthy - not for a specific event or because someone else you know is now thin. You need to be in it for you and for the right reasons! PM me if you ever want to chat. Always here to help you out!


Jen
09-17-2007, 03:45 PM
Hi Misty. I can connect with a lot of what you are saying. I have the moments when I feel like I have hit rock bottom and just still can't be motivated to lose weight. When I was 180 lbs I thought that was the end of the world and that if I ever weighed over 200 lbs I might as well be dead. Now I am approaching 250lbs, my work uniforms are tight and I have no energy to play with my child or do anything around the house. I am slowly making changes but like it or not my husband and son are going to have to make changes with me. I can't have cookies or chips or treats in the house for them and not indulge as well. Really they don't need it either so I don't feel too bad about that. My son is still pretty skinny and healthy and I am grateful that we have been strict about limiting his sugar and watching what he is eating. There are a couple of kids up the street that are both really tubby and I can foresee weight problems for them and I don't want that for my son. My husband needs to lose weight as well and feels awful anyway when he is not eating right. So I don't see why you shouldn't revamp the way everyone eats, if it is healthy, it will be beneficial for everyone. It seems to me that you have a very active life, a lot of the time you are on the run and grab fast food. My problems relate to eating out of boredom, bad habits and because of working shifts. There's not much I can do about working shifts for right now so I'd just better knuckle down to eating better despite that.

My husband and I are doing the master cleanse later on this week for 10 days and after that I am going to start Dr. Phil's plan that we did so long ago. That rapid start plan really worked for me. I am hoping to lose 15 lbs or so on this cleanse and then keep up the momentum with the dr. phil plan. BTW before anyone goes on about the cleanse, don't. My husband did it back in March, it did him so much good, it isn't going to kill me or put me in the hospital. He did it and does it for the detoxification and not primarily the weight loss, while I am doing it for the weight loss but I've no doubt I probably need detoxifying as well.

Anyway sorry to go for so long. It is hard to get a handle on the weight issue, what with busy lifestyles, jobs, kids, the house, the husband, other interests etc. But the plain and simple fact is that if we want to have active busy lifestyles in 30 years we'd better do something about it now.

Jen
09-20-2007, 02:48 PM
Hey Misty, it has been a few days since you posted, wondered how things were going for you?

MistySeptember
09-20-2007, 09:09 PM
Not good. I hate this new job. I've been sobbing all evening.

Jen
09-21-2007, 09:51 AM
Sorry to hear that things are not going well. What's going on, just having a hard time adjusting to a new year or is everything just sort of crashing down on you at once? Do you still need to keep this job, did you guys get financially where you wanted to be or could you let this job go and just do your preschool thing?

modkittn
09-21-2007, 10:46 AM
Oh Misty I'm so sorry :( This is the job that you wanted but originally they told you part time and then they wanted you full and you talked them back to part time right? My other questions are the same as Jen's. How badly do you need the job?

Skinny4baby
09-21-2007, 01:26 PM
I could of written your post three yrs. ago. The thing that had to change for me was my MENTAL look on things. Just like you..I would think..I would "start out good" and then if I ate pizza..oh well..my whole plan was blown??? That is what I had to change..that thought process. I did it by reading The Weigh Down Diet book and realizing that I really could eat ANYTHING...anyday of the week and lose weight..I just could NOT overeat and lose. It really is about putting a small amount on your plate of what you really want and stopping when you feel fullness in your stomach. Is it easy?..Heck NO!!! But it is doable..and Girl..let me tell you..IT IS SOOOOO FREEING!!!!!! I never really realized the enormous control FOOD had over my life and day. I lost approx. 50 pounds in 6 months and then I started eating more healthy fruits like fruits and veggies, but at first ANYTHING was fair game..I just NEVER felt over-full. I used the hunger scaled (and still do) every single time I ate. The goal for me was to get to a 5.5 to be satisfied. I make a point to announce to my dh when I feel like I am approaching a 6. It works!!!

Good Luck...Food issues are very difficult to explain to others that just don't "get it", so it is nice to have someone that knows exactly where you are coming from.:hug:

MistySeptember
09-21-2007, 07:30 PM
THANK YOU TO EVERYONE FOR ALL THE SUPPORT!!!

Here is the LOOOOOOOOOOOONG version of the job thing,

The IU (PA is divided into IUs, these Intermediate units take care of special education in their area, they provide services in homes, schools ect All or most special education teachers in PA are employed by the IU and contracted to school districts.)

Last preschool year I had a child in my class evaluated by the IU as I had concerns. They found out I was a speech therapist and asked me to apply. I said no, I'm not certified, plus I am happy here. They'd so oh bummer we really need people. So I got a call from one lady told her no, I'm happy, I'm not certified either. Got a call from another lady told her no I'm not certified and I love my job now. She said well maybe we'll pay for your schooling can I pass your name along I said sure. What could hurt right? I got a call from Ron. I told him I'm not certified, he asked my back ground I told him. He said they could work with me on that. He said they'd pay for my master's I could even do it online. I said I am really happy here I love teaching preschool, it's my passion, I don't want to give that up. He said he could respect that.

So I went in for an interview. It wasn't an interview it was here is what we can offer you, schooling, ins., retirement, good pay. We have two options. 1) full time. 2) 3 days a week at NP (my home district). I told him point blank I want to teach preschool. I said I am leaning towards part time. He gave me the w4 (tax papers), the retirement enrollment page, application, and asked me to fill out the certification papers.

The certification papers took me a month and included and dr's appointment ($25) and an $80 fee. fine.

So all summer I am thinking part time he is thinking full time ( he never discussed it, I emailed him and he says he never got it), he never had time to talk with me he never allowed me to come in and learn the paper work system in pa, he never trained me at all. I offered to come in for free, not pay to learn the stuff. No No No.

I then am thinking that I'll be at the preschool M, W, F, mornings, nd NP Tues, and Thurs all day, maybe Monday or Wednesday afternoons, and that I'd stay at the preschool and work in the daycare which ever afternoons I wasn't at NP. With both kids in AM preschool they'd be in daycare 2 full days and two afternoons counting as a 3 day slot. Ok we planned for that expense.

Then I was asked to move my daughter from the AM preschool to the PM preschool b/c the PM class was all boys, and another parent had to take a morning slot or her son couldn't make it so moving the girls to the pm time helped in two ways. So I and another Mom agreed to move our daughters. I figured if I was at the daycare working those afternoons why did it matter?

So Then we have the whole part time full time fiasco where he says full time or nothing and I say nothing and he says ok part time 2 days a week at NP. Now b/c I moved my daughter's preschool time she needs care BEFORE and AFTER preschool and is now considered FULL time if I don't work in the daycare at alla nd work at NP full time. Moving my cost for care to $891 for both kids in daycare and preschool.

Ok so we finally get things settled I finally start (3 weeks into the school year mind you). I get to meet the previous therapist and she says she told him 3 days minimum at NP to fit in all the kids. So now I am trying to fit all these kids into two days and 2 hours. I make my schedule the girl looked it over said looked good.

Yesterday I try it out for the first time. First I have two very disabled students grouped and they can't be they need individual attention, so now I have to find another hour in my day to accommodate them separately. Then my last kid of the day is at 2:30-3:00 b/c the school's schedule lists afternoon announcement and dismissal from 2:40-3:15, so I figure I have him until 3 he'll be ok if he gets dismissed at 3 on the bus by 3:15. No buses leave at 3 they are dismissed at 2:50, so he had to chase down the bus yesterday...not good for an autistic kid. The other therapist who was supposed to train me didn't mention this when she looked at my schedule..maybe the schedule had changed, or maybe she missed it. Either way now in addition to the first hour for the other kids I need to find and hour and half for this kid. There goes all my planning time, my time for screenings and evaluations. PLUS as I screen and evaluate kids I may have to add them in and there is no room.

The previous therapist told me I am supposed to get like 3 hours a week during my day for planning, meetings and stuff. There is NO room for that anywhere unless I do it at home.

I have no computer yet. So I have to use the library computers. While the librarian is really nice she talks to me NON STOP while I try to concentrate on my computer work. SO I can't get anything done.

Then this other girl took all the materials she ordered (with the IU's money) with her to her new school leaving me with all stuff from the 1980's. I took in stuff from my home, but I need to order stuff.

I am being asked from the school psychologist to give present levels of functioning for kids I have never met who have annual reviews coming up. In PA if the kids gets only speech then I am in charge of writing his entire IEP, in NY we had a committee who did that I just turned in my papers with suggested goals. In Pa every thing has to be educationally linked, in NY you could service and autistic child b/c his language skills impacted him socially as well as academically. I'd say in NY 75% of this caseload would have services more than twice a week. There are so many forms to be filed so many things to do and in special education if you don't dot you I's and cross your T's you get sued. And I got virtually NO training in this stuff.

I am overwhelmed. If I add on more afternoons to fit it all in, my daycare goes back up to $891 from $550. I won't make $300 more a month to make up for it either. I'm going have a break down.

If I just work at the daycare and preschool I make less money, but I get free child care. Either way I'm not getting benefits like ins.. He told me part time (3 days a week) I get benefits at my interview. Then when we worked the part time out he said 20 hours. I just got a paper stating I was approved for 24 hours, which is 3 days if you work and 8 hour day.

So could we afford for me not to work this job, yes. Could we pay off our debt? very very slowly, could we get ahead, no. could we buy a house, no.

If I work this job after child care (unless I add more hours) I make about $300 more a month than I did just doing the three days a week at the daycare and preschool like I did last year. That would allow us to pay off debt faster. It wold allow us to get a house sooner.

If I stick with this job and quit preschool next year (which I don't want to do b/c I love it so much), then I can have school hours like my kids and be in their school once they get there at least a couple days a week. They'll pay for my master's I get retirement and ins, which I don't have now.

It's a mess and so much to look at at once. This doesn't even cover the paper work mess my certification is and the fact that now I have to resend everything and blah blah blah b/c Ron screwed up.

Thanks for sticking with me through this. Dinner is here we'll see how it goes next week. I emailed my supervisor last night but no response today.

have a great night everyone.

Jen
09-23-2007, 02:03 AM
Wow, that sounds pretty rough. It sounds like you are definately getting the short end of the stick on this one. Short term it definately doesn't sound like it is worth it. To be completely honest with you I would junk it until your kids are older and in school full-time. It sounds like it is next to impossible to give anyone 100% in this deal. Way back early this year when you took the 3 month gig or however long it was it was just short term to make some $$ and pay off some debt, you could live with it because you had a light at the end of the tunnel but right now can you see anything getting any better? you've gotten practically no training or support from your supervisor, no wonder you are stressed.

Anyway that is my 2 cents on the whole situation. There is no shame in quitting to devote more time to yourself and your family especially when teaching is what you really want to do and the $$ is not worth what you are paying out in childcare let alone the stress you are having.

want2btrue
09-25-2007, 06:26 PM
I could of written your post three yrs. ago. The thing that had to change for me was my MENTAL look on things. Just like you..I would think..I would "start out good" and then if I ate pizza..oh well..my whole plan was blown??? That is what I had to change..that thought process. I did it by reading The Weigh Down Diet book and realizing that I really could eat ANYTHING...anyday of the week and lose weight..I just could NOT overeat and lose. It really is about putting a small amount on your plate of what you really want and stopping when you feel fullness in your stomach. Is it easy?..Heck NO!!! But it is doable..and Girl..let me tell you..IT IS SOOOOO FREEING!!!!!! I never really realized the enormous control FOOD had over my life and day. I lost approx. 50 pounds in 6 months and then I started eating more healthy fruits like fruits and veggies, but at first ANYTHING was fair game..I just NEVER felt over-full. I used the hunger scaled (and still do) every single time I ate. The goal for me was to get to a 5.5 to be satisfied. I make a point to announce to my dh when I feel like I am approaching a 6. It works!!!

Good Luck...Food issues are very difficult to explain to others that just don't "get it", so it is nice to have someone that knows exactly where you are coming from.:hug:

Yay, I found this post, which is recent!! about Weigh Down Diet Workshop. Help, I want to find a forum on this. Thanks soo much. And I need serious support on this. I'm a calorie counter, but I need to learn to really listen to my body. Only it knows how to make me lean/healthy. :?:

Skinny4baby
09-25-2007, 08:21 PM
Hey want2btrue...I PM'd you back...Just wanted to tell you also there is a book called Intuitive Eating...I have not read it but it is the same idea as the Weigh Down Diet. I also did not do mine in a workshop atmosphere..I wish I did have access to one though..I found the book at a garage sale..and saw a picture of me taken about a month before I read the book and thought..Man I need to do something...so on June 1 04 I picked it up and did not eat that first day until 6 PM. The first day you are instructed to go until you feel actual hunger..then eat whatever you want..but only until the point of feeling satisfied NOT stuffed. I still remember what I ate and how I felt. I have NEVER looked back and I have never felt like I was "on a diet per se."

Good Luck!:carrot: