So I've been feeling pretty good lately...lots of compliments, finished a half marathon, buying sizes I haven't seen since I was a kid, back on track with my plan this week so I can start losing again...
Nothing like a picture or two to KILL that feeling.
I went out on the website for my half marathon to see the pictures they try to sell you. The ones of me are HIDEOUS. Don't get me wrong, I'm ridiculously proud of myself for running that race, and I know I've come a long way. I do feel good about that, as I should.
But when I saw those pictures and saw how thick I still am in the middle and how my legs look, I honestly felt like crying. I had to hide the way I felt, though, because I was looking at them with my husband and I didn't want him to see my disappointment. In some of the pictures, you can see the ripples in my legs from my extra skin on my thighs, and it's so awful.
It doesn't quite make me want to give up, but it does make me feel a little stupid for going out and running with my legs showing all the time and thinking I looked ok. I'll still do it, because I have to, but I know I won't feel as good about myself.
Sorry, I try to be upbeat and inspiring here at 3FC, and I've had a pretty good run so far, but today's a rough day. I just had to vent to my good friends here!! I'm trying not to cry!!
Please remember that I know how lucky I am to have come this far and to be in the position I'm in. I just hate to see pictures that make me feel bad about myself after all the work I've done. All the miles I've run, and my legs still look like that? Crazy. :(
09-09-2007, 05:36 PM
I am sorry that you felt so bad. I didn't see the pics, but I think some times we see ourselves worse than the truth. I am sure you don't look as horrible as you made it sound. You have done an awesome job loosing so much weight. You are an inspiration.
09-09-2007, 05:39 PM
You've got to focus on the great achievement of running the half-marathon. You must be fit to be able to do that even if carrying some excess baggage.
I gave up my last weightloss efforts when I realised that after losing 55lb I was still a 'fat woman' when I still couldn't get into UK size 18 jeans. It just seemed at that point as if all my efforts had been in vain. That was over 3 years ago and I put all of the 55lb back on and am now fighting again to get if off. I just hope I don't reach the same point again as it really is better being X pounds lighter whatever way you slice it.
09-09-2007, 05:40 PM
Lisa I worry about struggling with that kinda thing in the future too, but try and focus more on how you FEEL you must feel wonderful and so much more healthy. I know we want to look better too... but we can't focus on that. I remeber last time I lost a bunch of weight I had some photos taken too and couldn't beleive how big I still looked.
As far as running if it makes you more confident wear runners leggins... but I don't think you have to cover that up. Those ripples are a badge of how far you've come and anyone who 'notices' them would probably be more impressed more then anything with where you began. That being said... I'd probably wear the pants myself but I'm kinda shy that way.
CONGRATS on running that race. That is SO amazing.
09-09-2007, 05:42 PM
I'm really sorry some of your joy in your AMAZING accomplishment was taken away. I'm sure everyone here can relate; I haven't seen a bit of difference in pictures yet, and I am beginning to despair that I will ever make any more progress. But I haven't given up yet.
I don't know if this will help at all, but reading about your running victory has been very inspirational for me. I struggle so much with running, but reading how far you've come reminds me that it *is* possible, even if it takes me a year to get to the point where I can run a mile.
09-09-2007, 05:45 PM
Thank you so much for your responses, ladies. It really does help.
See, here's the thing. Every other time I've seen pictures of myself in the last few months, I've been thrilled with the difference. Even when I can see my legs in the pictures! These "action shots" just happened to show the extra skin moving around, and made me feel terrible. I'm trying to focus on how far I've come, but I can't help being a little pissed that I still have to look at pictures and feel bad about myself. I guess I'm being a little silly!
09-09-2007, 05:49 PM
You speak my mind! I had a picture experience just yesterday. It's soooo depressing to work hard, lose weight and then see the pictures that aren't what we think ourselves to be like.
But - WOW - you have come SO far! You've lost so much weight and to run a half-marathon is amazing. Before you know it your pictures will match the internal vision you have of yourself!
09-09-2007, 05:51 PM
Hey Lisa :hug:
It's totally okay to 'be a little silly' now and then... but try to see it as motivational instead of negative... and Don't Look at Those Pictures Again! :drill: Hear me?!! Go look at some that you are proud of, instead! :yes:
You are an awesome inspiration here (and on your Cross Country track, I bet!) and don't you forget it!
Okay, lecture over :D
09-09-2007, 06:55 PM
ugh I've tried writing this note 5 times LOL, i don't wanna sound corny and "rah rah rah", there's nothing worse when you don't feel like it.....
1) sorry you felt crappy when you should have been on cloud nine
2) pictures can suck sometimes, i've seen hideous pics of thin friends too!
3) uhhhh take a look a pic of your 100 lbs. heavier!!! that'll smack some sense into you as to what an amazing million mile journey you've taken!!
4) buy different run wear!
5) those ripples were just doing the "WAVE" in support of your victory!!! If my legs did the WAVE they'd smack me in the head and knock me out!!!!
09-09-2007, 07:08 PM
Running a half marathon is absolutly amazing! And you have come so far. I know sometimes it is hard when you see yourself and you are not where you want to be but remember how much better off you are now then you would have been. A little trick I use when I see photos of myself and get disappointed that I am not thinner is I take one of my starting pictures, any picture really from when I was 300 pounds, and I take the picture that I'm looking at that made me uphappy and I paste them together in a paint document. It reminds me of how far I come and how good I look now.
09-09-2007, 07:24 PM
Oh dear, dear, dear Lisa Marie...
YOU ARE A TOTAL INSPIRATION and dont you forget it!!! I'm not sure how it feels but I can try and identify with it - and I'm sorry that you felt rotten, but if it makes you feel any better... I wish that my legs were waving at me as I run... no such luck yet :shrug: but just to let you know what I run in may put a smile on your face...
hmm... where there is a will there is a way. I wear a bigger headscarf though and with less embroidery on the dress, and yet it is full length (right down to the ground) and full arm length. I pull my jogging bottoms on underneath and my trainers/sneakers and I start running!!
Good luck anyways with your running... KEEP AT IT please don't let it discourage you. I love what Trazey said on point number five.... they're definately waving celebrating your victory!!
09-09-2007, 07:30 PM
Well, here is my .02 for what that is worth...
There are burn clinics (I know of one in Florida) that pay for you to come to them and for the surgery to remove access skin after loosing large amounts of weight the 'healthy' way. They then use the skin for graphs for burn victims. I am not sure what the amount of weight has to be, but it is worth looking into.
You are feeling so good about yourself and that is awesome and you ran a freaking half marathon, that is totaly freaking awesome. Then you look at your pics and oh. my. gawd. Yeah I know that feeling. You feel so good and sexy and then the truth is staring at you from the camera.
The truth is there and it sucks, but at least it is flabby skin not fatty skin! At least you are standing in the street with your number on your back, instead at a buffet with your friends and a plate of food.
I think you are awesome!
09-09-2007, 07:30 PM
I think we all understand the disapointment of a bad picture when you've been feeling so good otherwise, but like someone said earlier even thin people take bad photos that make them look larger then they are. Its bound to happen. Don't let anything take away from the accomplishment you've done you seriously are mega-inspirational to a girl who wants to start running soon! :)
09-09-2007, 07:32 PM
"There are burn clinics (I know of one in Florida) that pay for you to come to them and for the surgery to remove access skin after loosing large amounts of weight the 'healthy' way. They then use the skin for graphs for burn victims. I am not sure what the amount of weight has to be, but it is worth looking into"
Is that really true? Wow. Wondered if skin with lots of strechmarks counts. :) I'll have to research that when I get to where I'm going.
09-09-2007, 08:09 PM
I had heard that use of excess skin for grafts was only an urban legend. Kati, can you provide more information, such as the name of the Florida burn clinic, so we can check it out?
09-09-2007, 08:59 PM
Oh Sweetie, I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. You of all people, who have come so very far and helped so many, you just don't deserve to feel this way.
We are all so proud of you here at 3FC. You, you, you running chickie you. What's a little leg rippling amongst friends, eh? But yes, I know how you feel. Nothing like seeing the old legs IN MOTION to put a damper on ones mood. But hey girl, I know you're a smart one and I know that you know just how much better your life is now then it was prior to your incredible weight loss. Are we perfect - uh uh. Do we need to be - no, of course not. Hold your head up high and be proud of your huge, huge, GIGANTIC accomplishments. A marathon for goodness sakes. I mean, come on, look where you were a year ago. There were no marathons taking place then, no way.
You are a beautiful, beautiful girl. Both inside and out. You have added years to your life. You have added quality to your life. Keep that chin up and don't let some action shots get the best of you. :hug::hug::hug:
And I'd just like to mention, that everything that I have ever heard about donating skin to burn centers have always proven to be false. :shrug:
traci in training
09-10-2007, 06:49 AM
I guess two things -
One - anyone besides you who looks at those pictures is going to see how amazing you look and how much GOOD you have done for yourself. I'll bet your DH wasn't going, "ooh, look at the skin on your legs!" He was saying, "Jeez, here you are at the 10th mile DOING GREAT!"
Two - Go buy a tabloid, LisaMarie. One of those skinny famous people at the beach in their bikinis with their cellulite showing and their faces with no make-up. You will see that EVERYONE can take awful pictures. Don't let it slow you down, dear!
09-10-2007, 12:57 PM
:hug: I understand. When I see a picture of myself, I think "who is that??!!" I seem to think I'm skinnier and much younger than I really am. I know you're disappointed, but please remember....your pictures weren't airbrushed or put through photoshop! Have you seen this? http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/flat4.asp?id=6909 and this one http://www.diet-blog.com/archives/2007/07/19/whats_with_skinny_arms_faith_hill_and_redbook.php Its all about perspective. You’ve lost a ton of weight, you run, and you’re a teacher! I want to be like you one day. You’re beautiful.
09-10-2007, 01:14 PM
I can only imagine how you felt seeing those pics. But, for what it's worth, "in action" shots of most people that I've seen are never very flattering. But beyond that, I think it's awesome how much you have accomplished! And you are such an inspiration to me and so many others here. I doubt I will ever run a marathon, or even a half of one, but I do really look up to you and your accomplishments. I have a list of "who I wanna be like when I grow up." (never mind that I'm already 30. hehe) and you are on it, along with several others here on 3FC. I would try to think of the legs as battle scars, of sorts. They show how far you've come. I hope you are feeling better about this by the time you read my post.
09-10-2007, 01:36 PM
I don't know that I have any words of wisdom. Like Trazey, I've been pondering this for some time trying to think of what I can say to make you feel better without making it worse. I'm just going to assume that those pictures were as awful as you say (though they might not have been), and I'm so sorry for that. But, like others have said, I have also seen pictures of some of the most beautiful women in the world that have made them look atrocious. Without being a photography expert, I do know that so much has to do with angle and lighting and lenses, etc. I don't think that others necessarily see what you saw with those pictures when they watch you run. The thing that I fear the most for you is that you'll become self-conscious enough that it impacts your determination to run. Though Seranab makes a great point that you can run in whatever clothes you need to run in, I would encourage you to continue wearing what's comfortable for you.
I know that you said that you didn't want to hear it, but I want to say it. You have accomplished incredible things, and your weigh-in this morning tells me that you're continuing to log amazing accomplishments. So, please don't stay too long in discouragement mode. The blips happen, but you have proven that you can overcome them time and time again. I know that this is only going to be a small setback for you.
09-10-2007, 09:37 PM
Thank you sooooo much, you guys! It means so much to me that you lovely folks care enough to try to make me feel better. And it worked! I honestly do feel much better about everything now, especially after reading your wonderful replies. My legs really aren't that bad, actually!! It's just that wiggly inner thigh bit they managed to capture so realistically on camera! The outer thigh, the quad, etc. are getting quite lean and muscular from the running, but I think I'm stuck with inner thigh skin for the rest of my life, so I'll just accept it and move on, and I'll just be happy that these legs are carrying me all these miles!
Yesterday after I posted about the pictures, I took a six-mile run and my legs felt heavy and tired all the way. I kept apologizing to them and thanking them for carrying me!! I felt bad for calling them ugly when I considered all the things they're doing for me! :lol:
09-10-2007, 09:55 PM
CONGRATULATIONS ON THE HALF MARATHON!!!!!!!
That takes a heck of a lot of time, commitment and determination you should be so extremely proud. I'm happy you can appreciate all the amazing things you and your legs can do!
I totally sympathize with you on the action pictures though. I ran the Marine Corp Marathon last year, and was SO proud of myself. But then, when I went to look at the pictures online the next day... I was horrified! I looked like the pillsbury dough boy if the pilsbury dough boy ran :( I didn't want anyone to see the pictures, and I got really depressed about it.
It was really hard to convince myself that running a marathon was still an incredible thing, even if I didn't look like a fitness model doing it.
CONGRATULATIONS on the wonderful accomplishment!
09-11-2007, 01:05 AM
Urban legend? Really? An acquaintance was telling me that she was going to the clinic (in Florida) for the pre surgical consultation. She had lost about 100 of the 300 she needs to lose. I don't speak to her anymore, so I can't get the name of the clinic. I am sorry.
09-11-2007, 08:35 AM
I had a similar thing happen. After losing 47 lbs and being lower weight than ever -- I got some photos taken at my nephew's shower and I didn't think I looked any better! I still have massive gaps on my cone legs. So when wearing a skirt they still rub together.
What has gotten me though it is that someone told me once that it takes time for your body to adjust and put the fat where it should be. And that makes sense. Right now I feel my fat is coming off all over the place. Haphazardly. My body needs time to realize there are gaps in places and move things around and tone up naturally.
Kind of like the defragmenter on my computer. Before I run degragmenter my computer bits are all over the place and after everything is moved around and in good order. I think your body might do that on its own but it takes time. And although you can't spot tone -- I think that the idea of Pilaties or something will stimulate your body to move stuff around.
09-11-2007, 08:49 AM
I can't think of ANYONE that looks good after running a marathon! LOL
Congrats on your amazing feat!
09-11-2007, 01:15 PM
I can't think of ANYONE that looks good after running a marathon! LOL
Congrats on your amazing feat!
I second that! I've seen some pictures of some pretty thin, muscular women who look AWFUL while running. Don't buy the pictures, they're lying to you - you probably look fantastic!!!
09-11-2007, 01:24 PM
You know what I'd think if I saw a bigger-than-marathon-runner sized person (a) running a half-marathon, and (b) with loose skin on her thighs from recent weight loss? I'd think, "wow, she's incredible! What dedication and effort it must have taken for her to get this far." And I wouldn't be alone. Don't be harder on yourself than a stranger!
09-11-2007, 01:39 PM
Don't be harder on yourself than a stranger!
Now that's some good advice!!! :hug: Glad you have your positive attitude back!!!
09-11-2007, 01:46 PM
I had a friend who started dissing what she felt were her heavy legs. Then she ran into a friend who had to have a leg amputated, and she realized that at least she had two good working legs. Sounds like you came to that realization, too. Maybe your legs don't look so good to you in a photo, but, dang, they work so well for you! I mean, shoot, you did a half marathon!! How many people here have done that?
The other day when I was walking hurriedly to my destination, I heard this noise, and realize it was my inner thighs slapping together as I walked fast. Yuck!! But it also made me laugh. My body will never even look as "bad" as Britney Spears' body did in that black bikini. A combination of genetics (where did these large hips come from?), obesity, and age is kind of bringing things down, if you know what I mean. :)