100 lb. Club - I got a little upset, maybe even jealous

09-04-2007, 01:09 AM
Sunday we had a family reunion. My first cousin has lost 41 lbs and I couldnt tell you the people that asked her how she was doing it and told her that she looked so good. Im down 35 and not one person noticed. :(

09-04-2007, 01:11 AM
Oh, that would make me mad too! You are doing soooo good though. Maybe use this as a motivator to keep going for the next reunion?

09-04-2007, 01:17 AM
Yeah, thats a good way to look at it. Thanks.

09-04-2007, 01:22 AM
Alana...omygosh...they must be blind or something cause I am looking at your progress pics...and I CAN see the difference. and holy smokes...you look alot smaller than 271lbs that you have on your current weight info. You got it going on!!
Not to mention you are very beautiful too!!

:hug: :hug: :hug:

09-04-2007, 01:32 AM
Aww thank you. Ive always been told I pack my weight better than others. But BELIEVE ME.. Im 271. A LONG LONG LONG way from where I should be.

I can tell a difference and I guess that is all that matters but it would have been nice if just one person noticed.

09-04-2007, 01:56 AM
sweetie i just looked at your before and after and i could TOTALLY tell you lost weight hang in there you've all ready come so far i WISH i could loose that much

09-04-2007, 03:08 AM
you know what is weird...the whoosh of people all of a sudden noticing is random. i had lost about 50 pounds and a few people said stuff...but then at 60lbs, the same people that saw me a week ago where making comments left, right and center. they all thought i did it so fast. (it was actually a year at that point.) it is noticable on everyone at different times. weird. soo..oh my point. hang in there, your whoosh moment will come too. your cousins was just earlier.

09-04-2007, 05:13 AM
Alana - I'm sorry this happened. We all know how hard you are working and how great things are going for your regardless of daily / weekly challenges you have. You lost 4 lbs just last week alone!!

They're going to see it on you, babe, it's just a matter of time. You know yourself what you have done, don't forget to stay proud of that!

09-04-2007, 07:55 AM
Alana,I am sorrry , you have every right to feel upset. I think you are right some people pack on weight differently, my husband thinks I weigh 200 lbs right now,lol. He never guessed I was near 300 lbs. I have almost 50 lbs gone, and no one, no one, except hubby and the kids have noticed. It gets me upset, but does it really matter ? no , because this is not about being noticed by other people, it is about me being happier and healthier. Cheryl

traci in training
09-04-2007, 08:06 AM
I can sympathize. DH has lost weight with me, and people will comment on both of us looking smaller, but HE looks fifteen years younger. HE looks like our cute fire chief now. HE has really changed.

But no, I don't get jealous. ;-) Not a bit. ;-)

09-04-2007, 09:04 AM
You must be so disappointed.:hug: You're doing such great things for your health...things that can't necessarily be seen from the outside. Hang in there. Soon, you'll knock their socks off!

09-04-2007, 09:10 AM
I completely understand. Is it possible your cousin started out at a lower weight then you, and therefore she's lost a much higher percentage of herself then you?

Regardless, you are doing a FANTASTIC job. It's just a matter of time, and a short one at that, before people can't help but notice your weight loss and they won't be able to contain themselves from praising you up and down. Hang in there and keep up the good work. :)

09-04-2007, 09:41 AM
How disappointing for you! I too, can understand. You've worked so hard and can't wait for people to notice the changes!!
I've only lost 18 lbs, and my DH is so proud of me that he tells people that we are with that I've lost! (I really don't think they can notice it yet!) It's kind of embarrasing, but it's sweet on his part! Now with your before and after pics, I can really SEE the difference!! Have you ever tried to pick up something that weighs 35 lbs? It's heavy!! Think of all of that weight you're NOT carrying around!
Keep up the good work! I agree with Train's comment...your whoosh day is coming soon!!!

09-04-2007, 10:38 AM
Like the others, I can tell from your progress pics too. And I've been where you are; I've lost 31 pounds so far, but it's just not that noticeable. For me, that's motivation to keep going, because *I* want to be able to see it, and right now (even in pictures) I just can't really tell all that much.

You are an inspiration to me and everyone else here, and I hope you shake off the disappointment of your family not noticing and use it as motivation to keep going.

09-04-2007, 12:46 PM
Well, WE notice! I'm sorry you had that disappointment. What you wanted to say was "HEY, what about me???", but you couldn't.
Hang in there, you've done a great job so far and I wish I was as far along as you!

09-04-2007, 12:51 PM
How often does your family see you?

How often do they see the cousin?

If they see you all the time, they may not have really "noticed" a gradual change, whereas, if they rarely see your cousin it would have been a huge change all at once.

Don't let it hamper your efforts :)

09-04-2007, 02:42 PM
First I want to thank you all so much for the support. I really appreciate it. You all are a wonderful bunch of friends ((((GROUP HUG)))). Im feeling much better today.

09-04-2007, 03:08 PM
No one has commented on my 38 pound loss either, but I am not doing it to get compliments , I am doing it to be healthy. I know what I have done and that is what is inportant,

09-04-2007, 03:18 PM
I totally understand how you feel. I haven't seen my sister since the first week I started my weight loss journey. I've lost almost 50 pounds since then. She came camping with us this weekend, and she didn't even notice.

I kind of expected it to be honest with you, as my pants/top sizes haven't changed yet, so it isn't very noticable right now and won't be for another 40 pounds at least. I was just hoping she'd notice maybe a change in my face or something, but nope, nothing.

Oh, well, I refuse to let this deter me from my goal, and you shouldn't be deterred either. Hang in there- eventually, folks will notice. :hug:

09-04-2007, 04:15 PM
((((Steelslady)))) Im sorry hon. It does hurt, but you do have the right attitude. Im not gonna let it get me down, just make me more determined.

09-04-2007, 04:20 PM
No one has commented on my 38 pound loss either, but I am not doing it to get compliments , I am doing it to be healthy. I know what I have done and that is what is inportant,

Im not doing it for the compliments either, but they sure are nice to hear on occassion. :D

09-04-2007, 07:13 PM
Aw... I am sorry that happened to you. I know if I was in that situation I would definitely be upset, too. I remember when I was about 18, my older brother and I both lost a lot of weight one summer and EVERYONE noticed how much weight he'd lost and NOBODY noticed I'd lost weight too.

But then, eventually they did.

I think there's a variety of reasons this happens. My guess is in this case your family were so fixated on your cousin and her weight loss that people weren't really paying as much attention to you (and thus not noticing your weight loss.)

Im not doing it for the compliments either, but they sure are nice to hear on occassion.
I totally hear you on this one. Just keep going girl! Wait til the next family gathering! I bet the compliments will be rolling in

I for one am totally inspired by you and your loss this week. And well done to you for admitting your feelings and KEEPING GOING.

Oh, and have a hug. :hug:

09-04-2007, 08:04 PM
I'm sorry this happened and your feelings were hurt. Not to hijack a thread but this might be an opportunity to ask about the other side of things...because that's where I found myself this weekend. We went to a birthday party at a good friend's house on Friday night. These are people I see all the time so they know I'm losing weight. However, I must have looked REALLY good (;)) because TONS of people were gushing over me. I mean on, and on, and on. At the same party was another friend of mine who has been struggling to lose weight and she HAS lost 16 pounds! :) She was hurt and discouraged by all the attention on my loss...and no one noticing hers. Of course, her loss is not as much as yours, Alana, but the effort is still there. What are some ways we can ease these situations when we find ourselves on either side of the coin? Her hurt really took away the enjoyment of my looking good. I was so sad for and hurting with her.

09-04-2007, 08:06 PM
Was she "fishing for compliments"? I notice most times only after people mention it -- maybe you weren't "blowing your own horn" enough!! :D

Also, just curious, have you purchased new clothes for your new you? If you are still wearing your other clothes, it may have been hard to tell.

You should be very proud of yourself -- you are doing an amazing job. Does your family do this every year? Wait until next if they do.

I was on the reverse, I've actually gained 30 lbs from last year's reunion to this one -- hope to do better by next year!!!

09-04-2007, 09:00 PM
Of course we're not doing this for compliments. That wasn't even on my list at all for the reasons I wanted to lose weight (yes, I had a list, a journal).

But we're human and we can't help but want people to recognize our efforts. I must tell you, I remember exactly who and where and when the first non-family member mentioned my weightloss. And again, though compliments were not even on my very long list of reasons for losing weight, I have found them very motivating and indeed a very special part of my journey.

Needing to lose 100 lbs or better is no easy feat. Doable, of course - but not always easy. It's a long road. But rest assured, whoever has not received compliments yet - get ready, cause' they're coming, they're coming. And at times you will have your cheeks turn bright red from them and almost, not quite, but almost wish, they would cease.

09-05-2007, 12:15 AM
I am really looking forward to the compliments. As robin said, of course this isn't the reason we are losing weight. That doesn't mean we can't anticipate them with joy, or be disappointed when we've put in so much effort, and lost a significant amount of weight, and it doesn't yet show.

No one has noticed anything different about me yet. Soon, I hope!

09-05-2007, 12:32 AM
Nobody has noticed me either, unless they already knew. Darn. I want my turn to be petted too. Sniff.

Mrs Quadcrew
09-05-2007, 03:51 PM
I have learned too, that some people don't comment because they're afraid to offend us. I even had one of my co-workers say that she is amazed at how I look now, but didn't want to say anything - she thought I would take it as "geez you sure were fat"! I just laughed and told her no, that was OK, I knew I was fat too. ;)

You just keep up the great work, and boy will you WOW them at the next one!!

09-05-2007, 04:23 PM
Sometimes too, it depends on the relationship the person has with you. If they have always harbored a sense of competitiveness with you, they may resent admitting how great your accomplishment is; whereas they don't mind complimenting someone they are less emotionally involved with.