Maryblu, I'm probably up the scale a bit myself because I can't always string together a decent run of "good days" right now either. But always remember, it's the overall tally that really counts. If at the end of a month you've had 20 good days and 10 not-so-good days, that is still progress. And after several months like that, you will have lost instead of gained. And that's what it's all about, right?
And I enjoy fall too--it's not so hot that you're miserable but not cold enough to want to hibernate either. We can get in a lot of outdoor activity in the fall. Let's go for it!
Good Morning, Girly! I hope today is a good day for you. I am dedicating the month of September to being back on plan. I really want to be somewhere in the 150s by the time December rolls around and I'm going to keep that foremost in my mind. Let's make fall our Season of Success. Even if we have some setbacks, let's make our overall motion forward!
Sue, keep riding that wave of good choices and exercise. Hang a hand down here to us and give us a boost back up! I'm determined to join you there!
For some reason, a marker of some sort (a Monday, a new month) always give me new inspiration. I need it now and I'm going to milk it for all it's worth.
Today my goal is to cut the junk food. I have a party tonight but I will eat wisely all day. I need to get my water in too. Those thirst driven "false hunger signals" are getting kicked to the curb today.
Happy September, all!
09-01-2007, 10:56 AM
Oh, I love when it's a new thread, too. A fresh month. Actually, we have a fresh day every day if we think about it, but the month feels even better. Your post was great, Liannie. Uplifting.
Hello to vegetable girl, Sue.
I wanted to reply to Maryblu's comment that Judith Beck had such a small amount of weight, etc. because I had the same reaction (my reaction: what does she know...15 pounds...sheesh...she's such a tiny thing, how can she know, etc. Even though I'm loving her books, I thought this)
In one part of this four-day win book, she is talking about famine brain from dieting/deprivation.
"Famine conditions cause the brain-body connection to haul out some very big neurochemical guns. The hungrier we get, the more a hormone called dopamine floods an area of our brains called X. This causes goal-seeking activity, including the search for food. If we eat immediately, the XX gets swamped with serotonin, we feel satisfied, and we stop thinking about eating. If no food shows up, dopamine levels keep rising, driving increasingly urgent food-seeking.
I spent years avoiding fattening food to keep myself from overeating, and I developed a case of famine brain that nearly made me suicidal. When I was a college freshman, always on a diet, I'd eat the meager dinner allowed by the regimen I was on. Then, while I wasn't hungry, I'd engineer my environment so I couldn't get more food until the next day. I'd stay away from the student union at the hours when food was available. I'd make sure I had no money, not one red cent, that I could spend on food. Then I'd settle in and try to focus on studying.
As the year went by, I started to experience the full nightmare of a famine-modified brain. I'd lie in bed, exhausted but too hungry to sleep, until 2 or 3 in the morning. Then I'd get up and ransack my dorm room, looking for spare change. When I didn't find it (of course I didn't find it; I'd made sure of that myself), I'd head out into the zero-degree weather and run for hours, desperately checking to see if there were any 24 hour convenience stores giving out food samples or throwing away food that was still packaged. Or not packaged. I'd run almost all night. Usually, I found nothing edible. But when I did, no matter what it was, I ate it. I couldn't not eat it. I might as well have tried to stop breathing.
This ghastly ritual took on a life of its own. I began bingeing during the day, regaining some of the weight I'd lost........
More than 20 years later, I think my brain is almost back to normal........."
Interesting, huh. I think she understands. I think she qualifies to be in our club :)
09-01-2007, 03:57 PM
Oh, she does indeed understand. She has heard it,seen it all....that is so obvious. It is just that she was a "civilain" ie acceptable wt. to start with...that said.....these 20#s that I have gained make me feel as fat as I did at 220#..nothing fits right; I have rolls....the trouble is, when you gain wt. back, it is all fat..just ugly fat...
Honestly, when I first read Beck, it all made perfect sense......she lays it out so well.....I just got to feeling like a "civilian", and I got away with eating intuitively for quite some time...but then when I saw my wt. going up, I started that "diet mentality" and that is where things got sideways....if I could just get that gift back...that gift of sanity I had about food...just had a little bit of whatever I wanted and was satisfied with it. Hungry again in about 3 hours, but not starving......ate a little bit and was really quite happy to never be full. *sigh
09-02-2007, 02:24 PM
happy September to you all. This the time when things get calmer in our area-Tourism is big industry in our area and now there will be far fewer of them. It will be nice to be quieter.
I have had a mini pig out. I though I had conquered some addictions better than I actually had. I brought home a 1/2 gal of low cal ice cream-I was sure I could eat 1/2 cup over the next week. It seemed such a good idea on unusually hot day up here. Wrong-Once home all the old sirens called to me ate it all in 24 hrs. It was real work for me to leave any late Friday night. All day Sat I continually thought of it and just had to finish it. And it was not that favorful!!! But cold and sweet. Naturally once I "blew it" I added a sweet roll, fried food and another ice cream cone to the day total. I am not wired to think like a thin person! Deep down there is a force that says-"There NEVER is enough of certain foods."
G-College days and food cravings sounded horrible- That insane pull between one part of mind saying "You Must" (if you have any moral fiber and self control)and the other part saying "You Can't" (if you want to have any peace of mind and concentrate on something else than food) I had similiar struggles in highly stressed times in my live. For the last 2 decades I choose to Completely ignore the "ought to be healthy" part of the brain-went to increasing serotonin at "Any cost" to my body. Whew. now am over 300lb and find each step painful. When we first moved to this isolated area I actually felt some panic there was nothing open after 8'oclock anywhere to buy food.
While loving some breaks from the measuring and recording of food and taste treats of some of high cal foods, my desire to move again without pain is so powerful. As I ate my yummy treats I could evaulate how good it was, but knew I was trading in time of being able to lose weight and walk easier. The slower I lose, the longer it will take walk in less pain. I can be much more logical when buying individual treats in the community. I lose all rationale when the food is in the house. The most important role for me now is only non-addicting food in the house! Somehow the steps of parking, going into the shop, paying and then get the treat, I can stop process,(lucky there is no drive thurs for about 55 miles) but treats in the home are a hugh magnet for me-both physically and mentally.
M- I so understand that any gains feel so ugly. I feel better at 350 going down than gaining a lb at 325. I am so dam* mad at myself.
L-like you I focus on the number of days being on target, When I am not- try to learn why I "needed" to overeat and learn to accept those times.
I also feel there is only one expert about me losing weight and it is me.-I have had so much crappy advice-ideas that work for one person and will never work for me. Just spent the day with some family members who feel thier thinness has given them a moral edge of the rest of the fat world. Felt like I was wearing heavy invisible jacket made of their judgemental criticism of my body. To bad I give them that power. But they are just thinking what I working on not to feel. I have a tough time being around critical people.
back to eating well for all
09-02-2007, 03:30 PM
It is a beautiful day today......gonna head to the other side of the lake soon for an annual bbq and am looking forward to it. My friends over there are some of the best cooks I know. I am going to eat what I want, just less.
I have only had a fiber one bar so far and have been outside gardening....actually, doing some of my famous fiddling around....just going from garden to garden deciding what needs to be moved where. My dear SO (what a digger!) just finished a whole new garden spot for me....kidney shaped..though he says it is Lake Superior...nice size about 20 ft. by 10 to 15 in spots.....some of it is full sun and it goes to quite shady, so will be quite a nice spot.
Sue, you have posted about those judgemental thin family/friends before..guess it is quite likely their own insecurities lead to needing to feel superior......just like in grade school..just like with the race hatred..gays, etc. I have often wondered if somehow all the people who are "hated" (I don't mean that quite as harsh as it sounds) for whatever reason.....if all the gay people, all the fat people, all the minorities were shipped away, then who would be left to "hate" ...to feel superior to, to judge.......then what? Would the world be perfect? I don't mean to imply your family hates you; I just took this a step further to the intolerance thing...
Enjoy today, all.....
09-02-2007, 11:55 PM
M-thanks for the support-Working on getting more and more distance from their behaviors and words-I agree it is insecurities but I have lived with some of them for a time when younger and actually then believed they were correct. So the hook is quite old and really do need to removed by me.
I miss MN after reading your posting about the lake,
09-03-2007, 12:41 AM
Sue, those comments about college were actually a quote from Dr. Beck's book...they were her college experience. It sounded like pure ****.
Looking back on my college days, I was pretty darned healthy in my attitude about food, and oh so thin. Those were the days! I didn't think, "Oh, now I'm going to walk to school. That will burn off calories. Oh, good." No, I just enjoyed the walk. Then eat. Then do other stuff I liked. I can remember an occasional obsessive thought about wanting to eat, but once I went off to university, I was so happy and I don't remember obsessing, though I've always liked food, that's for sure.
Sue, I feel a change is imminent with you and your relatives. I can feel it brewing. I think they really have NO idea, NO idea of the struggle that it is. As a formerly thin person with a ridiculously good metabolism, I remember having some feelings of judgment, too. I'm ashamed of that, but I just had NO! idea. I'm bordering on wanting to say SCREW THEM (your relatives) and at the same time, understand that they are clueless, not having experienced it.
I'm realizing that I've used food to soothe myself, to insulate myself, because it has seemed hard to get thru some of the hard parts of life w/o the insulation of something. Maybe, besides altered brain chemistry that overeaters have, maybe we are just a more sensitive lot. That's what *I* think. Anyway, I've always been ultra-sensitive. Sometimes I ask God, OK, what is the BENEFIT of being sensitive? Mostly it's just painful. But part of it is learning to deal with my emotions and sensitivities in a healthy way, not eating.
OK, I'm rambling here.
I've gained even more weight. I am taking these herbs (long story) for another week, and I don't know if they're messing with the efficacy of my thyroid meds or what, but I'm gaining even faster than usual.
I've been debating about going back onto Weight Watchers. I'm so fickle. I'm tired of trying to figure out my calories on FitDay and it's WAY easier to account for "points." IT takes like 5 seconds to figure out. The last time I didn't lose anything despite sticking to it without cheating for a month, but I think my body was more messed up then. And I got pissed when one of the leaders poked fun at people using their thyroid as an excuse to not lose weight.
Maryblu, you look great in that photo....you look thin!
Hi to Liannie. Hope things are settling down for you.
09-03-2007, 10:44 PM
Hey Ladies, can I get in on your discussion here? I just started Beck's 6 week program from the Diet Solution. I'm on day 10 and I like it so far. Any hints for a newbie?
A little about myself: I'm 25, I live in Iowa and my SO and I have a 14 month old daughter. I'll find out in 10 days or so if I passed the bar exam and can actually be a practicing attorney. I work for a non-profit that provides legal assistance to low-income people.
09-03-2007, 11:33 PM
Veronica! Welcome. I get to welcome you; that means I am not the newest "newbie" anymore! LOL.
Girly, I have to confess..I was "thin" in that pic.....15 #s thinner...haven't worn that dress in 2 years! That pic is from 3 yrs. ago.
I posted that pic for a very weird reason, but we all share our "weirdness" here..........that tree that I am posing by....that plum tree.....it frames a very special part of two of my gardens.....it is what I see every morning first thing outside my kitchen window.......it is the last thing I see framing my gardens...two of them... at night....the border by the lake and my BIG garden...the one with all the Phlox......it is so cool with its weird shape....I plan my tulip planting around it every spring.....I get the latest flowering bulbs I can so they bloom when the plum tree does.....it has to go......it is being cut down and "stumped" on Thursday...I am crying as I write this....this has been the focal point of two of my gardens for the 12 years I have lived here...it is old and not doing well.....it has to come out so we can get a boom truck in and get out a dead Elm on the lakeside that could take out my steps down to the lake.........AND........I found out last year I am deathly allergic to Yellow Jackets, and the fallen plums are a MAGNET for those little suckers.....I still don't know if I will be able to part with it.....I have given it a reprieve once......it is so cool......I may not be able to part with it...we shall see...
Anyway, I still am thinking alot about those who have to be superior because they are thin, and seem to have to have that "attitude". I know someone who was very heavy...got control of her life on her own....good for her, but now when she heard of someone having a bypass was VERY judgmental...saying couldn't you have a little control? Well, obviously NOOO, or she would not resort to major, life-threatening surgery......a last resort..and now I am thinking about what I am judgemental about.......and...I certainly have my chosen bugaboos.......lets see........what I am judgmental about?
I really have my issues, that is for sure.......and this one is just PETTY, but I really do judge ladies...especially young ladies who wear tight clothes. It seems that everyone does it these days......whether you have bulges or not......just the skin tight-over-the-rolls.....it doesn't seem like a good idea!
09-04-2007, 12:12 AM
Welcome! I wish I had some words of advice, darn it! I'm still learning from the people here, though. I have only "welcome" like the little drummer boy. Have you chosen a food plan? Would you like to share some of your reasons list for losing?
MaryBlu, wow! I really got your post about the tree. They really do have an alive energy. Sometimes I can barely trim my plants...I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm just trimming you, you're beautiful. With trees it's even more palpable.
Regarding the tight clothes, I haven't had that feeling so much. I'm 42; I work with 18-25 year olds (my students), so I see a lot of the fashion stuff. What I was completely horrified about was the trend with the butt crack! Girls sitting with their low pants and their butt cracks showing all over campus, like it's absolutely no big deal.
And I do know what you mean about the tight clothes in regards to the low pants--have you ever heard of the term "muffin top?" It's when they wear really tight low pants, and all the fat gushes over the top, like a muffin top? Even "skinny" girls can have that. I want to shout out, "That doesn't look good!" I really feel a generation gap with the tattoos, too. I can feel OK with a little one, but it's becoming more and more mainstream here to get LARGE tattoos, or like a whole arm tattooed; I feel like they are just ruining themselves with those. Yuck.
I joined Weight Watchers Online last night; trying a 5 day free trial. I guess I'm not really changing my plan; it's just calorie counting in an even easier way. ANd the online plan is awesome; I wasn't one of the ones who enjoyed those meetings.
Played tennis tonight; have stayed on plan for the first day in many.
Liannie, how's your recommitment going? Shout out to Sue.
09-04-2007, 02:06 PM
welcome Veronica-good luck on passing the bar-my son also is a lawyer focusing on envronmental law-not destory it but saving it. I found Beck a good foundation for me. I really liked having the reasons for weight loss in the kitchen. Even now I remember them when I have periodic overindulgences. I must admit I sort of plateaued studying the book. Keep us posted with your responses to the book and it will help us all re-focus on it. I still sort of preplan and do record everything on Fitday-For me that daily recording is critical for eating less.
M-oh that beautiful tree which is so important in your daily view. It is going to be a tough looking at "where it used to be". Your passion for gardening really comes thur. thanks heaven there are you talented folks out there to beautify the world so-regretfully my talents are else where. I have more small plastic seedling holders than successful healthy plants. I agree with G loved the pic of both you and tree-may you soon be in that dress size again.
The everychanging dress code of teens-Always being a large girl-5'8'' at 12 yrs, I feel for the girls who pour themselves into outfits that belong on the those who should be 20 lbs underweight, That desire to belong is so powerful inspite of looking rather foolish and often behaving foolish. My own kids wore some of the uglest, tasteless rock t-shirts-everywhere! But now I think that looked better than the pant waist at the knees.
g-keep me posting on the on line WW. I have been temped but want to know it is worth the money. Got to be so frugal due to that dam* increase in medical insurance.
I have been pondering hurt feelings and why I hold on to them. Today I had this Ah Ha moment. I was raised by a talented but very unhappy, angry mom who being the only daughter I was "assigned" the role of care taker. The unspoken duty was to make her happier- So when she was unhappy, critical, judgemental I felt that I was guilty of "something" . Instead of dismissing her attitudes, I worked harder to please her. The challenge was getting her to like me. She actually told me when I was an adult she has never liked me. Heck, I could never make her like herself.
The relatives I just saw carry the many of same attitudes and I reverted to old unhealthy ways. Trying to please the unpleaseable and getting hurt and mad when they remain unhappy.
so G- you are right there is some changes brewing, most importantly there are with me and I will NOT internalize nor get invloved in their unhappiness. Yep I'll be the "rude" one for not visiting more often.
I am sensitive or even oversensitive and I have self medicated with food when I have felt hurt or unsucessful. Some times I just absorb that negative energy being around such folks. I have been far too influenced by grumpy judgemental folks versus seeing them as unhappy, unsatisified people boosting their ego at the cost of others' self esteem. Obesity is still an easy target- can be Politically Correct and still laught at the fat or "pity" them.
I want to get to the point that when I hear criticism I know that is their problem and let the crappy energy go quickly thur me. That will be a hugh help in me losing and maintaining a Large weight loss. Thanks for letting me write about me "weirdness".
L what is up-hope you are not super busy.
Best thoughts to all
09-04-2007, 05:38 PM
Just a quick holler. I'm still out here. Welcome Veronica! Glad to have you with us.
I'll edit and write more later....
09-04-2007, 07:52 PM
Thanks for the welcome everyone! Maryblu - I'm sad for your tree, but you are so lucky to live on a lake in MN! That's my ideal for the perfect place to be in summer.
As for diet plans, I've chosen to go with a low glycemic index diet, which seems to be how I really want to eat anyway, just couldn't get the motivation up to do much cooking! One thing I've found interesting so far is that Judith Beck talks about thin people not experiencing hunger as an emergency. I definitely think hunger is an emergency! So I always just want to eat cheese and crackers instead of cooking something when I'm hungry. This is definitely something I'll have to work on.
I'm using WW as my back-up plan. I've done it before, but quit when the compulsive eating got out of control. I really liked the online stuff, the tracker is great and the recipe searcher is good too. I never really got into meetings either, but you gotta like the accountability at WW.
09-04-2007, 09:59 PM
Oh, thanks, all...for your posts, your understanding about my tree.........and for including me. For the first time since I registered in March, I feel as if I belong.....I was posting on other threads, as you can see by the # of my posts, but for some reason, never found "home"..I am home....love to all. M
09-06-2007, 01:12 AM
Things got busy again and I didn't get to the board for a few days. I hope everyone is doing well today. I'm glad there are 5 of us now, so much more to read!
The fashion discussion is so interesting. I look at the teens with their buttcracks hanging out, underwear poofing out over the top of the pants, or some of the styles the girls wear that show everything you could ever want to see, and it amazes me. But then I remember how scandalized my grandmother was when I wanted a pair of hip hugger bellbottoms when I was 12. It really makes me laugh now to think of how radical that seemed!
As far as the diet, I hope you are all doing well. I made it through 2 days back on plan and am averaging about 1500 calories. Hopefully, I can step up the activity level pretty quick and start kicking them fat cells to the curb again.
I'll holler back later. I've got to go to bed now!
09-06-2007, 02:10 PM
Back @ school this week so pretty busy.
I'm on day 4 and feeling in control. I haven't lost a thing yet, but I'm so happy to feel in control.
I'm doing this watcher technique that's in the 4-day Win Beck book, and I th ink it might be helping with compulsive eating, and I'm really enjoying the Weight Watchers plan. I think there is something really great about not depriving yourself of any food. I tell myself I can have anything, and I even can have a large portion, but I just have to be careful the rest of the day or couple days.
09-07-2007, 12:05 AM
Hey Girly! Glad to see you're back on track. 4 whole days must be a real accomplishment. I succumbed to cookies tonight but I will just do as you're doing: be careful the next day or so. In the long run, it will all work out.
Hey you other chicks! Hope you're still doing well.
EDITED TO ADD SOME EARLY FRIDAY MORNING THOUGHTS:
Hey all fellow thinkers,
I'm really struggling with the desire to comfort-eat these days. My job is so stressful, my boss (a real devil-in-prada type who has no life and doesn't seem to want anyone else to have one either) is so disorganized and so uncommunicative which creates frequent unnecessary emergencies for the rest of us, that I sometimes wake up with this heavy dreadful feeling inside because I have to go to work. I struggle through each day, wanting to quit but knowing I have to stay to at least the end of the year and feeling trapped like a rat in a cage. I can see life outside the cage but just cant get to it. Sometimes that takes away the energy for exercise and often it causes food cravings that overwhelm my desire to deprive myself of those foods so that I can enjoy the longer term goal of a thinner healthier body. I just want to say that it's SO HARD to work on having a healthy "state of body" when you're in an unhealthy state of mind. I WILL do this. I WILL get there. It's just going to take longer than I want it to.
I thank you all for your support and companionship. I'm hoping your successes will give me that burst of energy that will help me get over the mountain of misery that is standing between me and my willpower....or whatever it is that gives us those long strings of "good days" that add up to weight loss.
Thanks for being here. And now I'm going to work.
09-08-2007, 07:56 AM
Where is everyone?
Liannie, it was painful even to read your post. I'm sorry you have to go through that. That would be hard for me as well. I don't function well in disorder or chaos. I can really understand where you would want to soothe with food. Really understand.
Since you have decided to stay to the end of the year, can you *OK, don't hate* make an appreciation list of where you are? I learned this in a spiritual group, and it has helped to feel better about my job until I get the next one. Just a list of what IS good. Like *I'm making a nice salary, and i can buy lots of nice meals out and wine and things for my beautiful new home.* *I get to see the mountains on my drive to work and that fills me up* *I enjoy talking with X* *I am learning great things for my next job* *I have a great office* *I have the most comfortable work chair and my butt feels good sitting in it ;)*I feel proud to be employed* *They have the best coffee at work and it's free* etc., etc. It's a really effective exercise.
I did this just for my job, a few times, and then eventually I was able to do a similar appreciation list for a young supervisor at work that was giving me all kinds of grief. I tried to do the appreciation list for her at first but couldn't.
Just seeing her would make me tense up and start feeling hatred. Anyhow, eventually doing the appreciation list for her, which took some baby steps, has made a HUGE difference. I can almost get into a peaceful place about her, and feel much better when I see her. The hatred is *poof* gone. (as of this week actually) I realized later that my feelings about her were mostly connected to my wanting to be in a new job, and feeling unhappy and unappreciated there (long before she came around), just manifested as her unappreciating.
How are the Beck techniques going for you all?
I haven't looked at the BDS in a while, but what I still do on a regular basis is
~sit down for my meals way more often
~enjoy/focus on every bite. This has become close to ingrained now.
~record my food (I can't seem to plan every meal and stick to it, tho...I really find my inner self resisting that so I"m letting it go for now. )
~stopped deluding myself
I could do a little better on planned exercise, but I have learned to do a lot more spontaneous exercise. Wow, you can really get in a lot of exercise just from parking far, walking to drop a letter in the mailbox, etc...
I'm still loving her 4-day Win book, and would love to chat about that if anyone reads it.
I'm feeling in control. I don't know when the shift happened, but it feels really great. Now hopefully I'll have some weight loss to go with all my new-found ways. I'm down a pound. Honestly, I reached such a low (a low with compulsive eating, most certainly not a low in weight) this time that I think I would even be happy with a pound a week, and I never in a million years thought I'd say that. I just don't want to be in that compulsive place.
09-08-2007, 10:47 AM
WOW. What powerful stuff, Girly! Thanks for the hand-up out of the dark pit I've been in. YES I CAN make that list. I just never thought of making one. THERE ARE things I used to appreciate but they have been drowned by this wave of anxiety that has been washing over me in recently. I will work on the list this weekend and let you know what changes it makes.
I still don't have the 4-Day Win book but I just ordered it from Amazon's website and should have it within the next 10 days. I would love to start a discussion about it. If I focus on happiness and self-improvement, I think I can get through these next few months. AND I want to join you in feeling that sense of control! I hate myself for the way I ate yesterday. Instead of getting back on track, I fell into fast-food frenzy because I let myself get too hungry (guess why? work, of course) and then followed the cravings all the way to Compulsion Central.
Today is a new day though, and these are the Beck Principles I am generally following:
--recording (on most days)
--sitting down to eat (almost every day)
--following an exercise plan (restarting today)
--getting incidental exercise (every day)
--practicing hunger tolerance (most days)
--not overeating (most days)
What do I really stink at?
Since it's the emotional eating of the bad stuff that leads to the cravings, I see that as my next project. I will start by making that list.
This is why I LOVE THIS GROUP! Just talking to you all lifts my spirits and enhances what little wisdom I have. Thanks for giving me some joy today.
I hope a happy Saturday is had by all. I will holler back later or tomorrow.
09-08-2007, 03:35 PM
G and L some inspiring concepts for dealing with a sense of overwhelming stress. For me the learning how to cope with my emotions and the NOT using food to calm, reward , energize or (over) celebrate is my true diet challenge. I truly know my "shoulds" it is my "don't want to do it" that keeps me fat.
Most all of my work has been in the non-profit/service sector -being understaff dealing with a needy population along with ineffectual management-uggh. It sound like you have jobs that can be be so demanding with no time for acknowlegment of your accomplishments -in fact management may even limit you success. I have empathy but little advice about how to cope-love the list idea G. In a small way i work on the somewhat the same concept. I try to remind myself to focus on all that is going well in my life and appreciating that. Sometime I just want some force in the universe to tell me I am doing great and my efforts are so appreciated. -maybe a couple a times a week would be great-mean while back to reality.
Right now I am using food to energize me. It has been very busy-much very good but I am exhausted with very painful and stiff joints. The big new is that we have a beautiful grand daughter-who had some stress moments in delivery but arrive being very healthy. We spend 9 hrs in the car to get a precious 1 hr visit with the happy family. Also was called in to work some days and my husband family visited. I am exhausted and know that hauling this extra 150 lb really adds being so tired. Here come the really illogical part-I have being eating high carbs and sweets. The very thing that made the extra fat- I crave. That crazed illogical brain.
G- so glad to hear you are in control and feel good. Being in control is so powerful. Even if the scales don't move, you know that they will soon. Plus you did loose a LB. I am not even going to look at the scales until I am back on program a number of days. L, you are doing alot of the beck stuff-keep that up.- you have more than a little wisdom-you are one wise lady-plus being very witty. I hope to be joining you both soon modifiy my mindless eating. I don't have the 4 day book yet, but got a book on cd of Marths beck- the joy diet. Even in that she works on getting the old brain to be positive.
09-08-2007, 04:52 PM
Just a quick HI to ALL!
A friend will be here shortly and we are going to ...imagine this....cook! lol.
Fresh basil demands pesto.......and we are doing the tomato, fresh basil, fresh mozzerella, olive oil thing....there is a name for that.....but with all this fresh garden produce, oh...fresh cantaloupe..gotta do it.
I have been so caught up in the openness of all your frank feelings....and some great wisdom from you all..I had forgotten about Beck! lol.....still haven't bought myself another book, but will be at B and N for a meeting on Wednesday, so plan to get both...haven't heard much about the new one.
The appreciation list is a great idea.......I had a similiar issue with someone at work...it took a year with my psychologist to let go of it! Then I just let it go! It was *that* easy...who knew? lol.
There are a couple of people I give way too much power to.......I let them punch my buttons...and the negativity comes out.....one is just the black and white kind...if I say up, she says down........if had said down, she would have said up......I just can't seem not to get caught up in trying to justify, defend what I have said...just a vicious circle.....why don't I just let it go??:dizzy::dizzy:
09-09-2007, 09:39 AM
Good Sunday Morning Chicks!
I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying this fine almost-fall day!
Thanks for a great discussion about how we give our power away to others by letting them inflict anxiety upon us which we mistakenly try to blunt with food. Your ideas have shown me that this is exactly what it is--letting buttons be pushed (thanks for that Maryblu), dwelling on the negatives (thanks Girly), looking for validation outside ourselves (a big thanks to Sue for that one). It reminded me of a conversation I had last week. A recovering addict I was working with told me the best lesson he learned in one of his 12-step programs was this: There are only 2 rules in life. #1-Life is not fair. #2-Never forget Rule #1. It really makes sense.
In fact, Girly, that's a "positive" to put on my list. My job gives me the opportunity to interact with people I may never have met otherwise and learn from them as well as helping them. Actually, that's what I love the most about it. It's management and the political crap that sometimes overshadows the pure pleasure of helping fellow human beings. But I'm not letting it bother me today. And I'm darn sure not overeating because of it for today. I guess I'll take it one day at a time, and today will be a good day. I'm determined to make it so.
My Beck lesson for the day today will be overcoming cravings. I will stay on plan today and avoid sweets. And I will make a plan for next week, then buy only the groceries required for it. My overall goal is NO fast food during the week.
How about you ladies? What's the plan for the coming week? What lessons do you plan to work on?
09-09-2007, 11:02 AM
In a small way i work on the somewhat the same concept. I try to remind myself to focus on all that is going well in my life and appreciating that.
That's great that you do this naturally. I don't know why being grateful was hard for me. It's not hard at all for people I care about and am around, but beyond that, it's natural for me to complain. So changing that (except for the occasional times I slip back in that groove) has done wonders for my life.
Liannie, I'm so glad you are feeling better and that we all had some small part in it. You have helped me out of the hole a few times; specifically I can remember one time I had a total hissy fit a while back and both you and Sue were just fine about it. It helped that you didn't react and that I was still welcome here.
Maryblu, your fresh food sounded AwESOME...hope it was fun. Yummy.
My goals are to just *stick* to the new food plan, and to take time to relax--next week's going to be really busy.
Hi to Veronica.
09-09-2007, 02:07 PM
thanks for sharing your insights. I struggle all of that stuff - letting go of angry-sometimes decades old, validating my own self worth (inspite of other's attitude), and appreciating all that is going right. One of the appeals of Beck is that changing the mind can affect the brain. I am always trying to read more stuff on mind changing-cognitive therapy ideas, meditation ideas ect. I am trying to understand and practice being mindful and being in the moment. Stop the brain chatter of "why did that happen", "what will happen" "why did they say that" and "if only". I have seconds of success in hours of rumminating. Love the rule #1 and #2 about life is not fair. It is so true and yet we are the lucky ones on this planet. While I hate being fat-unfair genes ect.-I am lucky that I have a disease that is curable- I have option to get healthier.
It is time for me to return to an eating plan. Would love some feedback on which one. The past 50 lb were lost on a rather strict plan of 1400-1600cals a day and swimming 3-4 hrs a week which counted as 500 cals for each hr of swimming. Fitday showed I need over 3000 cals a day to maintain my weight so I should have lost between about 3 lb a week-It was much slower - more like 3 -4 lb a month.
WW shows I should eat 33 pnts or about 1650 cals a day. Plus 35 flex pnts to be used over the week for another 1750 cals. There is a plan called Wendie which has a pattern for using the flex pnts so that each day you eat a varied amount of cals so the body doesn't get use to a set/fixed cals and doesn't adjusted to it-hopefully does not plateau so easily. I am actually scared to eat so much but tried of being so restricted all the time. Any info or suggestions about diets or ww in general? I don't have any ww meeting locally -can either use my old ww info or go on line.
M- I love that basil and tomatoe dish-I think it has an italian name. yumm
thanks to all for your support and insights
09-09-2007, 06:16 PM
I'm finishing a week on WW with a weigh-in tomorrow. I was afraid of being starving all the time because that's how I remember WW, but so far, I've been fine (and I've lost 2#s now). The flex points are really cool b/c it helps to counter that deprivation beast that can get us all. Before I ate at about 18 points--that was the only way I lost. And I WAS starving all the time. Now with a heavier weight and their modified plan, I'm at 25 + the flex points.
What Ive noticed after a week of playing around with points online is that they have made some newer adjustments on their plan for carbs. Like 1 C of onions is 0 but if the onions are cooked (onions are esp carby when cooked)then it's 1 point. Same with carrots. I think that's a change from when I did it many years ago.
Also, all veggies are not free. Like I made a version of the old weight watchers soup and 1 cup is 0 points, but 2 cups is 1 point. So they've built in some (I think smart) new stuff into their plan. I thought before it was unlimited veggies pretty much across the board. (?)
I'm afraid of if I can go down lower when my weight drops--you know, as they drop your points as your weight goes down.
I was also afraid that I wouldn't lose eating that way, so I got onto their board and I asked if they new anyone in their experience who it hadn't worked for, who couldn't lose despite following the plan, and 9 people responded, some with many friends or workmates who had done it, and none of them knew of anyone for whom it didn't work. (when following plan)
Right now they have a 1 week online FREE trial, which is what I've been doing. I will say their website is awesome and it makes tracking way easier via computer. For me, I didn't enjoy the meetings much, so for now I'm just going to try the online service, which is also cheaper than meetings.
Hope that helps....
09-09-2007, 07:42 PM
Hey Ladies, hope you all had good weekends. I really appreciate the discussion on here! I think sometimes even if we can't master our crazy compulsions yet, there's something empowering about recognizing them and saying "I know you're there and I'm going to let you win this time, but it's my choice" or something similar.
coastalsue - Congrats on the new grand-baby!
maryblu - Your tomato/mozzerella salad sounds so good!
girlythin - Glad you're enjoying WW! I'm thinking I may do that plan as well, I have all my materials from last time still.
I had a crazy end of week here. I had a migraine for two days and of course had to take care of myself with ice cream and other junk-y, delicious food. :P I'm trying not to let it get me down. Because of being out-of commission for that, I didn't get the details of my diet and planning hammered down. I think I'm going to spend another week just recording everything after I eat it. Seems to be working okay so far.
My parents came to visit, I haven't seen them in 3 weeks or so and they both said I look like I'd lost a couple pounds, so that's always encouraging!
I just gave my 14-month old daughter some crackers and she's lying on her back, a cracker in each hand, so happy to eat them. I really don't want to pass on my food issues to her. I'm certain that my mom had a big hand in mine, although I have forgiven her for that, it would be better if Layla never has to deal with all this.
09-10-2007, 01:37 AM
G-thanks for ww info-and the heads up about the changes. I am going for the free week. Got a make a change quick to avoid regaining weight. You have been struggling and it is great to hear your success both in losing weight and finding it easy to do. Congradulations.
Veronica-sorry to hear about your migraine-hear they are horrible. I understand you wanting to break old unhealthy habits so your children don't have worry about weight issues. None of my kids are big foodie like me,
Keep up with recording food, some say that is one of the best things to do to change eating patterns.
Maryblu and Liannie-hope all is well
to a lighter
09-11-2007, 02:02 AM
I like the fact that I work with some really cool people; that my salary is better than before I got a degree and now it has enabled me to have the brand new house I never imagined I would have; that I interact with people as a result of my job whom I may not otherwise have met; that I am able to touch people's lives now instead of merely punching a clock and pushing papers. OK, those are 4 things I like about this job I'm going to leave soon. I think I can hang on to those for a while. (Just wanted to get that said since I promised to post it over the weekend...)
And CONGRATS to you Girly for a successful week on WW! Yay! Get in that groove and stay there! Your success will carry the rest of us along in your tailwind.
Sue, are you going to do WW too? I've done the calorie-count myself and have only been successful when very organized and fairly stringent. Is it easier to do points?
Maryblu, I saw you over on Fat Smash saying you're starting tomorrow. Good for you! That has a lot of veggies, right? I love to eat them but can't seem to keep up with all the prep before they spoil in my crisper. Hopefully you'll teach us something about that.
Veronica, so sorry to hear about the migraine. Something like that can really get in the way of a diet plan. Just hang in there and pick up where you left off when you can.
As for my plan, I had a good day today foodwise and did my second workout in 3 days. I'm starting a 12 week challenge on the 22nd and I'm gearing up for all the weight lifting that will be involved. Building muscle will burn those calories and that's what will melt this blubber! Bye bye blubber! :D
09-11-2007, 01:22 PM
I like the fact that I work with some really cool people; that my salary is better than before I got a degree and now it has enabled me to have the brand new house I never imagined I would have; that I interact with people as a result of my job whom I may not otherwise have met; that I am able to touch people's lives now instead of merely punching a clock and pushing papers. OK, those are 4 things I like about this job I'm going to leave soon. I think I can hang on to those for a while. (Just wanted to get that said since I promised to post it over the weekend...)
Hello to everyone.
09-11-2007, 08:26 PM
See, the thing is...about starting Fat Smash.....see.........weelllll.....
I have been so caught up in my "diet dispair".....do this, do that....I did Fat Smash Phase I detox for 4 days awhile back and loved it......so why did I stop? dunno......it really makes me feel good.....I ran it through myfitday, and was getting over 35 gms. of fiber....about 1400 calories.....and really felt great. The biggest challenge is the meals away from home...the only restaraunt I have found where you can get a true FS lunch is Ruby Tuesday's salad bar.....and if you haven't tried it, it is awesome. All FS friendly, and great, great food. Of course any salad bar with Edamame on it is tops for me.
So, No, have not started FS..or the diet QOD...have any of you seen that one? There is a website....it is intriguing....I was considering it, but never could make it through the fasting day! lol.
The one good note to report, we are starting our study group week after next....there are 3 of us, and I am asking one more friend to join......it will be an odd assortment......good odd, not bad, and the big bonus for me is that they are 3 of my favorite friends, but they don't know each other.....yet....so, I think that will help a lot.......thanks all, for caring!
I posted on another thread on gardening, so wanted to share this pic of my garden last July with all of you.....I have added lots more since then! (and, my beloved Plum tree is gone, but not yet "stumped", so I can't get the replacement in yet. *sigh)
09-11-2007, 11:54 PM
Maryblu, what a beautiful garden! How creative to differ the heights and colors the way you've done! Gardening is one of my non-food passions, and I can't wait to dig in next spring. I was hoping to plant some bulbs this fall but, until the fence gets put in I can't even put pencil to paper and make a design. So we'll see. If I have a fence by October 1, I may be asking your advice.
I hope everyone's day has gone well. It's 2 days in a row on plan for me. Wow, like a Cubs winning streak: 2 in a row. :D
09-12-2007, 09:11 PM
Maryblu- loved the garden- When I was kid there seem to be snow on the ground from Oct to MId June- we grew nothing. You place looks beautiful!
hope you have fun and support in your new group-pass on your wisdom to us.
Liannie-Yeah on 2 good days-that comfort food eating is the tough one for me. Either crave the food itself or the easy of preparation or purchase. Just open a bag and there it is-some wonderful tasty high carb, high cal treat. Versus cleaning, peeling, cutting, cooking and measuring some low cal healthy meal-add being tired and/or emotional - what a battle for me.
Girly so glad WW is the one for you and your doing great!
Veronica-thinking of you
I am really struggling with getting my diet mojo working. Went on the WW site and still rather fumbling around. It is a bit of pain to go from cal counting to now doing the points. whine, whine, The real problem is that I am acting like a fat person and just dam* well don't care to think like a thin one. After all the months of weighing, measuring, limiting foods and counting and recording everything, I am just rebelling about going back. I have the Last Meal of the Condemned attitude( for days)-went shopping "over the hill" and ate both at a Thai and Mexician resturante along with having an Ice Cream cone from B&R-if one treat was good, 6 are better.
I have been recording pnts today and am sure that I''ll finish today on target. I am finding there is an amazing amounts of points due to large starting weight. I do wonder if I was eating too little earlier as ww has me eat about 3500 cal a week more than I was.-Plus I swim for an reduction of another 1500 cal a week. The scary part to WW is dealing with wider range of food-I understand using some points for a treat but I am scared that I can't handle it. Kind of like offering the one drink to someone who has been sober for months. what will happen? Yet so bored with the older strict regime. Sure hope I will continue to be on target.
I have to do something-do not want to regain the Weight-I want to weight LESS.
09-12-2007, 09:25 PM
Hey everyone, we made it half-way through the week! Nothing exciting going on here, hope you all are good. I'm sooo annoyed at my SO for not cleaning anything in the house. He's been promising for 3 days to do the dishes. I've not been doing them because I think he should do at least one chore around the house. (He stays home all day with our daughter. I know being a stay-at-home parent isn't easy, but I watch her all weekend and still manage to clean the whole place, do laundry, and grocery shopping and everything else). I think I'm going to go for a walk and leave them for him. If I stay here, the filth will get to me! Can you tell this is a sore spot for me?! :rollpin: He's lucky I love him, haha!
In thoughts actually related to weight loss, I've been trying to pay attention to my hunger a lot more so I can actually learn when my body needs more food. I've noticed that I seem to get stomach hunger, which only gets worse until I eat, and sort of a throat hunger, which is a tingling feeling in the back of my throat that feels like I'm hungry, but if I can ignore it or pay attention to something else it goes away. I swear, our bodies are nuts! Does anyone else get this? I'm totally perplexed. I never thought that my body would be against me, only my mind. :?:
I also got a copy of "The Thin Books," which have neat daily meditations/thoughts/mental exercises for compulsive eaters for every day for a year. Today's is trying not to take your problems tooo seriously all the time and learning to laugh at yourself. In that spirit, I'm going to go laugh at my pigsty of a house!
09-12-2007, 09:30 PM
coastalsue - Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts! I hope you finish out the day okay with your WW points. I can see how the transition from calories to points could be hard, a whole new set of numbers to memorize. bleg!
09-13-2007, 01:35 AM
Sue, I'm right there with you on that comfort food thing. A momentary pleasure trip at the end of a spoonful of something creamy and fatty seems like it's the answer to everything sometimes, doesn't it? And you are SO right about all the chopping, cooking, etc. That's why I eat fast food salads and Subway subs sometimes---just for a break from the kitchen.
And Veronica, I ate cake this afternoon that a friend brought in from her daughter's birthday party and the sugar really sparked my cravings. I wasn't able to eat dinner because I wanted to stay under 1600 calories today, so I left work hungry tonight. I can tolerate the "empty stomach" feeling but the cravings were pretty intense. How I wanted to just hit a drive through and chow down! For me it's an unsettled, edgy feeling that seems to eminate from my throat and stomach. I really WANT the food, whether I'm physically hungry or not. Tonight I resisted because I didn't want to hate myself in the morning.
Girly, I hope you're out there kickin butt on those fat cells.
Maryblu, let us know how your group goes.
Gotta go now. Bedtime calls.
09-13-2007, 09:18 PM
First a quick clarification.......what you saw was two of my MANY gardens....I have two more that size, one huge shade garden and an entire bank that has been naturalized with ferns and daylilies, and then my BIG flower garden....BIG..the backbone of it is Garden Phlox, with lilies, Monarda, Rudbeckia, Shasta Daisies, hostas, and hmmm..lots more besides. And I have a brand new one all prepped and ready to plant, and the garden hose laid out for a third garden beyond the two you saw in the picture. Never let it be said I can't be obsessive...lol....
On to the discussion at hand.....my Beck support group and a big surprise today...I see a pyschologist, just a good "check up from the neck" as Zig Ziegler loves to say........hadn't seen him since May..walked in today......and BANGO.....he was the incredible shrinking shrink! He has lost over 60 #s!! Wow. Since we spend so much time discussing my wt. I thought it only fair to discuss his.....It was great to see, and just goes to show, all of us have our demons and our struggles, no matter how smart or successful, and he has chosen to take one of his on and win!!
Sue, I have seen so many people be successful with WW. It is the one diet that seems to help everyone who follows it.....and I know that when I lost my wt. initially, I didn't cut back too much at all.....just ate less, felt less full, and lost 5 #s a month......it is such a mistake for people with a lot to lose to be too drastic in the beginning. I think the point thing with WW is ingenious.....not only does it absolutely make sense to base the pts. on how much you weigh, but the way the pts. are calculated is ingenious.....calories, fat, fiber.......period........lol.....you don't have any wiggle room.....fried chicken has its calories from fat and there is NO fiber........eat it and pay the points penalty! Ingenious.....lol......I hope you trust it and do it, cuz the people I know who do it are very methodical, but very sure of themselves, and not all shook up....they just count the points day after day......if you eat the points you should for your wt. you might stall for a little while, but you will start to go down if you follow the program. I think it is a great plan for you long term.
And above all.........be sure to do as I say and not as I do!!!! :D:D
09-14-2007, 12:04 AM
above all.........be sure to do as I say and not as I do!!!! :D:D
Ha ha! That's a good one! So what plan did the shrinking shrink use to lose the weight? And what does he think of TBDS?
I'm still waiting for The 4 Day Win to come from Amazon. They say they shipped it today, but I got the free shipping because I ordered something else as well, so it's coming by snail mail and may not get here for another week. I'm anxious to do some reading in that one.
I hope everybody is doing well.
09-14-2007, 02:32 AM
i'm completely, completely wiped, but still wanted to read your posts and say a quick hello.
maryblu, your garden is like a dream~
I still feel in control. I'm 1.5 weeks, and 4.5 down. I don't weigh in officially for the 2nd week till Monday, and this is remarkable weight loss for me. I feel like even saying it will jinx it. I'm having some obsessiveness return today. Just wanting to stuff my face, but I haven't done it. I think it's purely from stress. I need to slow down, prep better meals b/c I get better and more food when I cook it myself, and go back to doing the watcher exercise of Beck's that's really effective for me.
I feel really grateful today.
09-14-2007, 03:06 AM
I think I am liking WW-I have done day 2-I am enjoying the increased amount of foods and greater variety. I have been doing a type of yoyo dieting-super strict and rigid and then short bouts of binging and back to being strict. Maybe a bit more food and variety each day will work.
Congrads to you Girly for success. Sorry that demon of exhaustion is trying to get you to overeat- Sound like you have some plans for tools to fight cravings also.
L-I have the 4 day book on hold at the library so i'll get it one day. Hope all is well for you
Maryblu-keeping sending more pics of handiwork. I don't know how to do those tricks yet with the computer. Thanks for WW support. Hope the TBDS group was good stuff.
Just finshed a one day workshop on mediatation and practising compassion. I actually use some of the techniques to stop focusing on cravings. All part of the powerful stuff that the mind can.
Veronica-never felt hunger in my throat-much more in my stomach along with increase tension and irritability. Hope the dishes are done, housekeeping tasks which are undone for long times drive me crazy. I was wished we could afford a maid. -basically it was been me-I couldn't wait until messy drove my partner crazy enough to do them.
You all take care-Tommarrow we are off to Oakland and see our new grand daughter and visit her parents for 3 days. I will not post again until Sunday night.
Get thinner you all
09-14-2007, 09:19 PM
Wow, Sue and Girly! Good for you two getting in control! Girly, I am SO IMPRESSED AT THAT WEIGHT LOSS! And SO happy for you. You and Sue both deserve the success. If wishing made it so, you'd both be slim as whippets right about now, and I've been wishing for you as hard as you've been wishing yourselves.
Just a quickie post for me too. I have tons to do and another early rising day tomorow. I have to go work out of town at a health fair. It will be fun though.
Yo Maryblu! What up Veronica? :)
09-14-2007, 11:03 PM
Hi, all.......to answer the burning question, since our sisterhood is based on TBDS........sometimes I forget that as I just get caught up in "us" ..and I have to say, I have come to cherish "us" more than Beck...now, don't misundertake me...lol.......I thought Beck rang true with me more than anything else ever had........and I do look forward to getting back into that "in control" feeling.....just to answer quicky the question ...my shrink just took control, stopped eating red meat, bread, cut out all sugar and limits portions..........and he said it is "No fun"...as for what he thinks of Beck....more than a year ago, the book he gave me to read about wt. control was on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.........and it was by ............Judith Beck's father........so, my shrink is a "true believer"....now, let's all commit and JUST DO IT!! Think of how great that will be!
:hug::hug: to all!
09-15-2007, 03:42 PM
Wow, Sue and Girly! Good for you two getting in control! Girly, I am SO IMPRESSED AT THAT WEIGHT LOSS! And SO happy for you. L
Thanks :carrot: I'm so happy that it's feeling a LOT easier than before.
Im looking forward to discussing the 4 day win book when you guys get it and start to read it.
I'm so happy to basically be eating 3 meals a day and not eating or snacking or hungry allllllll the time.
Sue, have you tried the meal ideas on the website? They are great. And the recipes are so cool, too--you just pop them into your file, and you can pop them right in to your tracker. Today I had a smart ones chicken enchilada dinner, a cup of those progresso soups that have 0 points, and 3/4 cup blueberries with a few tablespoons of the fat free whip cream, all for 6 or 7 points.
Sue, hope you are having fun traveling!
Liannie, hope your out of town trip was fun.
Veronica, what's up? :)
Maryblu, interesting about your psychologist...maybe the cognitive therapy techniques are just ingrained with him? By any standard, it's impressive.
Today is a great day....It's the perfect, perfect day outside and I have a whole day to myself.
09-15-2007, 04:43 PM
Thanks all for the open discussion about Judith Beck's book. I'm off the get it in my next Amazon order (perhaps clicking thru 3FC).
maryblu - Is the Italian name you're looking for "Insalata Caprese"?
Here's one beautiful picture of a Basil, tomato mozzarella salad titled "Insalata Caprese":
whatscookingamerica.net/Salad/InsalataCaprese [dot] htm
09-15-2007, 09:11 PM
Yes, BB, that is the name! I can't even pronounce it, let alone remember it, but I sure can eat it! Thanks for looking it up..I am going to try to remember at least the last half of the name.....Italian doesn't come easy for a Minnesoda Swede! uffda.
Am in the process now of freezing basil in olive oil and will be bringing in chives in a pot for winter. Sue is right..in Mn. winter starts early...although, we dodged the freeze bullet last night....there was hard frost on the car windows, but nothing froze....so we still have tomatoes, greens, raspberries, peppers, cukes....and most importantly ALL my flowers! Life is good. Spent the day NON-stop gardening....YES!!!
Waiting for a little cooler temps before I pick the apples..then stashing them in the downstairs fridge.....Honeycrisps are the best!!
Fall color is beginning.....the maples are about half way colored up.
Had a fire in the fireplace last night; it certainly is fall.
Enjoy the weekend, all.
09-16-2007, 03:19 PM
I just ordered the book and workbook yesterday. It is suppose to come in by Oct. Looking forward to reading it and starting the program.
How have you all done following the advice?
09-16-2007, 05:25 PM
Hey everyone! I just found out that I passed the bar exam, so I've spend the weekend celebrating. We have our swearing-in ceremony on Thursday, Sept. 20 and then I'll FINALLY be a lawyer. (start jokes now, haha!)
I've gotten kind of off track with Beck, but I finished making a meal plan for the upcoming week and Layla and I are heading off for a walk and the grocery store now, so I'm back on track. I hope everyone else's weekend was good!
09-17-2007, 10:17 AM
Hey everyone! I just found out that I passed the bar exam, so I've spend the weekend celebrating.
Wooohoo!!!! A HUGE congratulations. Savor the moments of success....you can savor for as long as you want!
09-17-2007, 12:41 PM
Maryblu, I am SO envious of that garden. And Honeycrisps are the best!
Girly, I'm anxiously awaiting the 4 Day Win. It's supposed to come this week.
Hey Sue! Whatchadoin'?
Welcome Bill and Maryshady! We hope you will be regulars in our little group. When new people come in, it reminds us to post more about TBDS and less about personal stuff.
As far as following the advice, I think everyone would say that we have had to make a project out of it because adding a new step every single day was a bit much. Certain lessons must be practiced, gone over and even relearned many times, depending on what our personal struggles with food bring to us. Overall though, it has made a difference in our relationship with food and those of us who have stuck it out for the lasts few months have lost weight. Maybe not as quickly as we would have liked, but we are losing and if we continue to follow Beck's principles we will keep on doing so.
An early lesson is: What are your reasons for wanting to lose the weight? Want to share?
09-17-2007, 01:41 PM
It's here! The UPS driver just dropped off my package from Amazon. I'll be reading The 4 Day Win today.
09-17-2007, 03:33 PM
Thanks for the welcome, Liannie.
And thanks to this thread, I am at this moment eating my first Honey Crisp Apple. Found it on my lunchtime walk to a nearby farmer's market. It's as good as people have advertised - I'm a convert.
09-17-2007, 07:07 PM
It's here! The UPS driver just dropped off my package from Amazon. I'll be reading The 4 Day Win today.
Welcome Blue Eyes and Mary~
Mary, for me, what really seeped in was her just constantly coming back to the fact that at some point, it's all about moving more and eating less. I wanted to believe that I could somehow eat the same amount and still lose (hence my years-long foray into low carb eating). Though I still believe the science behind low carb, for sure, I know that *I* had to couple it with a reduction in calories, too, unfortunately.
Also, I eat slowly almost always now, and I'm still playing around with my cues on when my body is full. They are really LIGHT and subtle cues for me so I have to really pay attention. That is all Beck stuff.
Now can I brag? I'm down 4.5#s today total on my weekly weigh-in!!! Yay me!
09-17-2007, 10:20 PM
Veronica! Congratulations! That is no small feat...........how long did it take JFK Jr. to pass the bar? 3 times, I think.......though, in all likelihood, he was better looking than you......I mean, no offense, but really! It is no small thing; I salute you.
And girly, you too! Congratulations; you go, girl!
I so appreciate you all.:carrot::carrot:
09-18-2007, 02:28 AM
Helllo to everyone,
welcome to the new people-MaryShady and BillBlueEyes. I agree with Liannie new folks help us re-focus-just pulled out my copy of TBDS again. It is so good to keep the concepts alive and used daily.
Girly-What great news about your weight loss! you are inspiriing me.
Veronica-you go lawyer! That is a heck of an accomplishment.
cheers to maryblu. how cold are those evenings up there?
Just spent three days with our new grand daughter. I did late night time duty so that they could sleep- baby naturally is sleeping during the day and is fussy most of the night. Such a joy but so much work for me. Didn't eat right but did not gain-I really should have done alot more preplanning and cooking and brought some protein foods to the kids. They have a vegeterian diet with alot of bread, pasta and nuts. Foods I easily overeat.
Once home- back to WW and recording. I do like WW in that I am eating more, but I have more cravings as I am including some measured "treats". I am hoping I'll be more rational about certain foods and be able to have small indulgences verus an all or nothing approach of the earlier dieting and then short binges. It is a bit of work not being so strict about food and allowing it in the house. I am trying the "oh well" idea after the amount of treat is finished. Even right now some of that super dark chocolate-which I can have a small amount of keeps calling to me to have one more small square-I am sure I will not. Recording is easier with WW because I just use a note pad and stopped going into fitday. We have an cumbersome system of a slightly speedy version of dial up.
Tomorrow having guests over-got a great low cal meal planned, It will be just drinking a modest amount of wine while playing card which will be hard for me.- got any advice-great ice tea recipes? Social events are super hard-what does Beck say about that? What has worked for you folks?
Girly and Lainnie-include some of the interesting ideas of the other Beck also as you get into the book. I truly believe the basic concept of cognitive therapy-we can look at the mind, practice new way and change it.
control to you all
09-18-2007, 07:27 PM
Oh, Sue, "modest amount" and "wine" don't ever appear in the same sentence with me! It is tough. Beck says either don't drink or plan for a small amount.....again, the rub is modest amount...the only thing I can think of is to fill up on alot of iced water, or tea.....or better still sparkling water..good luck and if you manage it, let us all know how!:dizzy:
09-18-2007, 09:52 PM
Hey new folks! Now I'm not the newest anymore!
Girlythin - good job on your weight loss!
Maryblu - So jealous of your apples, Honeycrisp are the best
Liannie - Thanks for letting us know that it's okay to "stick" on some days of the Beck plan for a while. Feeling like a failure is definitely not conducive to losing weight!
CoastalSue - glad you were able to go see your new grandbaby!
I planned out my meals for the week, just using general nutrition guidelines, no particular diet. Plenty of snacks and the occasional treat. It's really working, I feel better about having a snack if I know that it's planned and it's nice not to have to even think about what to eat.
09-19-2007, 05:52 AM
Thanks for the welcoming comments :)
Just got a copy last night of The Beck Diet Solution from the local library - got impatient waiting for mine to arrive in the mail. At first glance, seems that I'm to read the four introductory chapters then start on the Program (42 tasks). Looks good, but I can see how people find progressing at one task per day a bit challenging.
How long has it taken you (plural) to progress through all of the tasks? Is there magic (such as overcoming sabotaging thoughts) in 42 tasks in six weeks? Do you use actual 3x5 index cards and a spiral notebook (vs. computer blog)?
09-20-2007, 12:57 AM
BillBlue Eyes-glad you got the book and so glad you are posting here. I really followed the book for awhile then drifted somewhat back to my old ways. I did most all of the tasks up to about the 4th week.
Love the note cards on the why to lose weight. even look at that now. Used this site as a diet coach, arranged my environment, really did the pre planning and recorded everything. I really liked the tolerating hunger one-found it truly is a passing sensation. -but now struggling with week 4 and all those sabotaging thought. There is some strong family tension about some health issues along with financial worries. Back come the old pattern of eating to comfort and soothe anxiety. I am not gaining just stopped losing. I am recording my WW points but not truly pre-planning my meals so strictly as before. Based on past postings we all found some tasks great, other tedious and some down right impossible for some of us.
let us know you reactions.
Veronica-great for you for your preplanning-hope to do the same soon.
Maryblu-thanks for the suggestions but while I had much less wine than the past, I did have more than the planned 4 ozs over 3 hrs of games. Even had ice water on the table, I absent mindly add a "bit" into my glass. Too bad it was about 5 "bits" I am still working with points which can be used as treats in WW.
girly how do you handle the "treat" points? Does pre planning help and if so how do you deal with left over sweet stuff-I find it does call to me.
I do keep sabotaging myself but the good news is that I do not completely give up like I used to in the past and do mindless eating. I just sure slow down the losing weight process so much.
Liannie-what words of wisdom can you share about the 4 day book.
09-20-2007, 06:58 AM
How long has it taken you (plural) to progress through all of the tasks? Is there magic (such as overcoming sabotaging thoughts) in 42 tasks in six weeks? Do you use actual 3x5 index cards and a spiral notebook (vs. computer blog)?
I must say that I'm impressed with your still working on this since you ALREADY lost the weight. That is really smart.
I journal in a coffee shop every day, so having a notebook and writing in it was not a biggie for me, but blogging seems great, too. (as long as it doesn't put extra pressure on if you have it public) I looked at the cards every day for soooo long during my journal time. IN fact, often more than once a day, and on a few days, many, many times when I felt weak.
I'm not sure if they are contributing to my finally being able to follow a plan but I suspect in some small measure, they are b/c the reasons are really in my mind. I wrote in the book, too, and checked off the daily tasks.
I did everything, and often more than once, but stopped at day 23. I need to get started again--I had a little slip up today, and it just reminded me that I need to keep learning the techniques. I found one task a day was too much, and I found that I need to be careful of my sabotaging perfectionism that gets triggered by that book.
For me, it's better to "be easy" about it or it starts feeling like way too much when I follow that. I'm just trying to learn and then pick and choose what works best. As Sue said, some things felt impossible--I tried but prerecording and only eating what's on that list just does not work for me, but I am diligently recording (online) what I eat for the day.
Magic?----Not sure. I have been able to follow a plan for 2.5 weeks, which is maybe a bit of magic, but it's felt like a lot of work sometimes, so it doesn't really feel magical. I think the 4 day Win feels like a little more magic and the shifting easier than the BDS.
It will be interesting to hear your fresh perspective as you read...
Sue, by the treat points, you mean the "weekly" points? From what I've been able to find out from reading the WW boards, it's part of our food allotment, so I have been eating the points w/o guilt.
I dont' have that hard of a time with sweets in the house because I don't really keep them here--I know that's not an option with you b/c of your family--that would definitely be harder if it was in the house. I have been eating frozen yogurt out when I want s/th sweet, and that seems to be working. It's really a good amount of dessert for only 1-3 points. For some reason, my sweet tooth isn't too bad lately.
Today was the first day I ate too much (over my allotment) :( in 2.5 weeks of following the diet. I'm scared I'm not going to be able to pull myself back up. I had a really hard day--in fact it's 4 in the morning and I can't sleep b/c I'm still so ragged from this bad day.
And we march on....
09-20-2007, 04:02 PM
I recently started the Beck Diet Solution and I also found this site at the same time - is it okay for me to join this thread? :)
I'm a 30-something female with history of many failed diets in the past and I'm so sick of vicious cycle of crash diets and binge eating. Hoping to change my lifestyle for once and for good!
09-20-2007, 09:40 PM
Hey, just stopping in to say hi, no insights to share today.
09-20-2007, 10:09 PM
Welcome, Tina, the more wisdom, the more insight, the better.
Sue, that sabotage question is a good one.......if we sabotage ourselves just one little bit in a day, then all bets are off, and it is not "diet day" "on program" or whatever we call it.
What maddens me, is that when I lost the weight those 4 or 5 years ago....I don't even know when it was, that is how much I was not in "diet mode"..I was just so not into that "perfect diet" thinking.......I just ate less, was content......knew there would be more food in three or four hours when I was a little bit hungry.........I just liked the feeling of eating a little bit and not feeling stuffed......it was truly a gift..... I want it BACK!!!!
Beck makes sense...just gotta get back in that mode...just that everyday mentality of sane eating!!
I want that for all of us!!
09-21-2007, 06:02 PM
Hello to all
Right now I am working on re-charging my motivation to go back to accurately following WW. I have this sabotaging attitude that if I eat "a bit" mindlessly today it is OK because surely I will back on target tomorrow- I am in about the third week of this stupidity. Luckly I have only gained a couple of pounds, but certainly not losing and don't want this trend to continue. There has been a ton of stressful stuff-why the push to return to unhealthy habits-but overeating never solved my problems in the past but I keep on trying to eat my self calm. If Beck is right about retraining the brain- I also am losing ground there also. I am giving in to cravings and implusive hunger and the worst sin for me is late night eating of high carb foods.
What I have done today
re-read Beck's chapters especially about cravings, preplanning. RECORDING every bite and the sabatoging thoughts.
I now am really having a problem with the NO Choice card-it seems to anger me versus helps me stay on target. Instead of Oh Well I think Oh Yea-saz who? Watch me eat this stuff. I tire of the hyper state of awareness that I need to lose weight by eating modestly-both cals and portion control, to stop all inapproriate snacking and modify all the cooking to remove fats.
any help would be appreciated. How do you guys go from "I Will", "I Ought to watch it" to actually doing it ?
best of luck to you all -hope you have a much skinner thinking brain than mine has recently been.
09-21-2007, 06:44 PM
Hi guys, and thanks for the welcome!
I'm conveniently on Day 6 today - the day where I have to find a diet coach!
I took time to read through all the posts and I can really relate to many of you.
I'm a resident in internal medicine and my schedule is far from structured. Especially today - we had lunch rounds with tons of food, including desserts. I started eating one small bite of a brownie, but then ended up finishing it, which was definitely unplanned. Still have to work on those sabotaging thoughts - I felt discouraged after that brownie, but got back in track by cutting down on my "treat" portion for dinner.
It's encouraging to read that all of you have made some progress one way or another. :)
09-21-2007, 09:58 PM
Hey everybody! Have a whiny daughter in the other room who won't go to sleep! That is the combo that put a good 30 lbs on me, I can tell you that. Trying to ignore her and not go to the fridge.
Maryblu, Coastalsue, I definitely feel your comments today! I'm trying to get back to that state Maryblu describes of sane eating, where I just let ice cream sit in the freezer because I know I can have some whenever I want! Not even close yet, but I'm working on it. And I definitely know what you mean about that state of hyper-vigilance with everything to do with eating and cooking, coastalsue. I think that's one reason why I stopped doing WW, the program sort of sent me to that place. Not that it's a bad program, I think it's great, just that I'm sort of wacky. :dizzy:
Not too much new here, just been making sure I snack a lot (healthily), which is good for my brain. I also signed my first documents as an attorney today. :D I'm sure the thrill will wear off soon, but it feels pretty good right now. Did everyone else have a good Friday?
09-21-2007, 10:29 PM
Just wanted to holler at you for a second to let you all know I'm still here. I got sidetracked the last couple of days by work and home stuff. Due to a death in the family on the west coast, I've been kind of scrambling around trying to rearrange things so I could get out of town next week. I'll post more later.
09-22-2007, 04:06 PM
Welcome to the group, Tina~
Liannie, sorry to hear the sad news. I hope you are doing OK.
I had a two-day nighttime overeating thing. I was on such a good roll. Anyway, Im back on track. I think I gained a pound but I'm not getting on the scale till Monday, my weigh-in day. In dissecting it, I had something @ work that made me angry--like so angry couldn't sleep--and I consciously knew I was eating because it felt so uncomfortable to have those angry/powerless feelings. I *think* that's what it was, and then just relaxing the reins let in the old compulsiveness.
I'm sorry Sue that you are struggling. You have done so well--I'm sure you will figure it out. If I were you (since you asked for suggestions ;)), I'd try to be kind to yourself. Say, wow, my body is really doing well if I only gained a couple of pounds while eating off track for a few weeks, and I really like myself b/c I'm so persistent--I know I'm going to do this. I know I'll get it even tho it feels hard. Honestly, this is what I think about you. You can take my words. :)
Re: the nighttime carb eating, do you feel it's chemical or emotional or both? I had really good luck in the past with taking L-glutamine--it really helps control sugar cravings. I just mixed a scoop into water--it's often recommended for people doing low carb b/c the carb cravings can be strong.
I'm trying to use distraction today till I get firmly back on track--so after I eat, just keeping really busy and trying not to entertain food thoughts. Just getting back to 3 squares and that's it--Food time is over--do something else. Hopefully that'll help. I feel nervous I won't make it today on plan, but I think I can do it. I'm going to make a big pot of veggie soup and really keep busy, too.
Off to go to the material shop. It's so beautiful and rainy and cool here today!
09-23-2007, 08:52 PM
Good evening guys~
Liannie: sorry to hear about your loss - hope things are better.
Girlythin: the nighttime carb eating, for me is definitely emotional. After a stressful day at work, that's how I find comfort, at least for me.
I'm on-call as we speak in the hospital - things have been crazy busy with couple of patients going sour and for once, I was distracted to enought that I didn't realize that I skipped dinner. Had a small sandwich an hour ago, but feel somewhat full already. Must stay away from midnite vending machine attacks!
Really impressed with all of you and your progress so far. Hope you're all having a great evening!
09-23-2007, 10:07 PM
I am so grateful for you all..I just love this group.
First things, first, Liannie, so sorry for your loss. It really puts things in perspective, doesn't it? I don't know what more to say, than I am sorry.
I am looking forward to tomorrow, as I commit to healthy living...more on that to follow.
I have to share with you my BREAKING news....and truly, probably only Sue will appreciate this, being a swimmer herself, and former Minne-sodan......
I was in the water three times today! Sept. 23, the first day of fall, was 85 degrees in MN with a strong south wind, and as we worked in the garden, we got hotter and hotter..I ended up in the lake three times today! Now, you may have noticed, I didn't say "swimming". I am a good swimmer, more of a fish than most, but I never claim to "swim" while I am in the lake, flopping like a crappy, grinning like a fool....I just side stroke a bit, and enjoy the total feeling of freedom that swimming evokes in me.....it is totally spiritual, not physical......well, I have to add the 60 steps down and up to the lake X three......but still, even though it was cold, it was so ..so...soothing...such joy....and the moon tonight is amazing
My SO and I are starting tomorrow on an extraordinary diet adventure....I will keep you posted..
Let's all remember why we are here; it is to follow the wisdom we first found with TBDS....stay close, all. :hug::hug:
09-24-2007, 01:20 PM
Liannie-sympathy to you and your family.
girly-thanks for the support-I finally have turned it around again (and again, again ect)
Maryblu- I envy that swim-lake swimming is so beautiful-pool swmming just does not feel that soul satisfying. What is doing being 85 in the end of Sept?
Tina- Your career choice is so admirable but so loaded with stress and crazed schedules which creates lack of sleep. Alll those thing most of us overeaters really have to work at in order avoid unhealthy eating. Really admire your work and your determination to change habits.
Tina-motherhood another of those 24/7 careers along with being a new lawyer. I have to remove all sweet treats again from my house and like you only eat the healthy snacks.
I am back on WW and have lost all the newly regained wt and losted another pound. I thought I could have the sweet snacks around and only eat a small portion each day-oh so wrong for me right now. It has to be an occassional "fun" thing in town.
There is a difference about Beck being so absolute about no treats and WW giving me a chance to have some sweet stuff. It is a fine line between an occassional treat and starting up the cravings again.
Re reading and doing the tasks about discomfort and cravings. I notice that when I was listing discomfort I was recording emotional situation and ignored physical pain until it reached a higher number. Thus I could see acknowleging all of my emotional stuff and ignoring all of the physical pain and limitation which the fat has placed on my joints. Heck I have a hard time vacumming hauling around me and the equipment. Maybe one of anti-craving techniques will be to walk for 5 minutes fell the pain and remind myself of the health damage of overeating.
All the techniques are good but the most fun is when the scales finally go down. I know we should not focus on that but it does feel so good when it finally does go down a bit.
Get those skinny brains
09-24-2007, 08:06 PM
Hey everyone, no time to post tonight but you're all in my thoughts!
09-24-2007, 11:17 PM
Does anyone get a headache from the Hoodia?
09-25-2007, 10:19 AM
I haven't heard anyone mention that they are on Hoodia...might you be on the wrong thread? If your intention was to be on Beck, you are welcome here.....
09-25-2007, 04:33 PM
HI! My name is Gina and I just got the Beck Diet workbook. I have the book but ended up stopping before the 15th day (when the diet starts). I think what happened is after I decided on my diet and had a few good days I decided that I didn't need beck. Well, here I am . . . with more weight to lose.
I am still doing the weight watcher's diet (flex) and belong to ww online. I am on the faux diet (not counting points until day 15) and I am doing Beck the way it was intented. At the beginning of the workbook it says that we can do more than one day at a time but we have to do it in order.
Today I am doing days 1-4:
sitting down any time I eat
giving myself praise and building confidence--I try to remember
reading my reasons and response cards
I picked WW flex for my first diet and Bob Greene's diet as the back up.
tomorrow I will work on slowing my eating pace and that will be my skipping lunch day.
09-25-2007, 06:21 PM
Hi guys, hope all is well -
maryblu: sounds like you've been enjoying the warm weather! It's also been unusually warm and pleasant here in Montreal as well. I started a new rotation today and things were quiet, so I left the hospital early. I just enjoyed a looong walk in the Mont-Royal Park with a friend, which I haven't done in years. The foliage is starting to happen and it was so wonderful.
coastalsue: Thanks for your words of encouragement on my career choice -- sometimes, I just forget why I went into medicine altogether, but I must say I love what I do. I hear you on the fine line between an occassional treat and starting up the cravings again. I HAD to allow myself at least one little miniature treat (those Halloween candy size) every few days, otherwise I would go nuts! It's really admirable on how much weight you've lost! Truly encouraging! Keep up the good work!!
GinaXOXO: welcome! I'm a newbie too!
I started exercising a little (home DVDs mostly) for Day 9 yesterday - and today is to set a realistic goal. Heck, losing five pounds as she puts it seems like more than a reasonable goal for me right now. The scale hasn't budged all that much - that two pounds I lost I think is nothing more than water weight. :P Keep up the good work, everyone!
09-25-2007, 07:47 PM
GinaXOXO: Glad you're posting, I'm also just starting. I'm wondering what you think of the workbook. Is it worth getting? Does it duplicate all those forms in the book?
I'm just at the quickly-read-the-whole-book stage; seven chapters to go to complete my quick read. Seems like a compelling strategy, just the sort of thing I'm looking for to come to believe I can stay at this maintenance weight for a goodly duration.
Trying to sort out just how many pages of data keeping this is going to take. Are people keeping MASSIVE notebooks of food plans and checklists? Do you all have secretaries doing this? Do you all really have a Diet Coach? Where did you find your coach?
09-25-2007, 11:05 PM
Do you all really have a Diet Coach? Where did you find your coach?
Yes, it can be overwhelming. I found a diet coach here, but then she got pregnant a while back and that was the end of that. We called each other, for the short time we did it, every Sun morning. Now I'm just letting this site suffice for my coach. If I had a lot more $, I would definitely seek out a therapist or a life coach or a diet coach to help me thru it, but it's not in the budget now.
09-26-2007, 01:29 AM
welcome GinaXOXO -I had forgot about the workbook-can't believe it is so close to oct already. I think I'll go ahead and get one. Sound like you have a good start to the book. Do you like the workbook? anyone else got it?l
Would love to go to a professional cognitive therapist-currently a luxury I can't afford. I tried a couple of friends as coaches with mixed success-really like this group-sensitive folks, nonjudgemental, great suggestions and supportive-don't get the glazed bored look which some of friends and family can get when once again I speak of losing weight. Also others postings here help me re-focus. Plus I like posting late at night when alone.
Biil- you are right about all the paper work-In the past I used fitday for both pre and post recording and journaling. But now I doing the WW point count. Now I just do the tasks and record the info in the book and use a notepad for daily food pre and post recording and throw away the info after I finish the day. The little cards I set about the house.
I have periods of not using the book and not losing weight. Didn't gain but ate just enought to not lose. I am back doing the tasks and really like reading about the sabotaging thoughts. I hop about the book a bit depending on what I need to focus on-Really dealing with strong cravings-review all the possible anti craving activities-even got a free jigsaw puzzle. I can focus on one task for days and have to often repeated stuff over and over again.
I have having 3 friends up to to have a birthday celebrating weekend.-we all love wine and Martinis., good food.-The food I am ok with-alots of fish and veggies, it is the wine and martini that worry me.-along with any sweet treats they may brings. I'll be doing those chapter about social eating, -have to fight the monkey see, monkey eats and drinks pattern.
My focus and resolve does fluctuate alot but slowly I go down I average about 5 lb a month-I do find Beck ideas help me to get back on track verus beating myself up. Since I do need to lose 150-I would like to quicker.
good luck to all
ps I am on day 4 of staying within the ww points. Today I am a mere 324.
09-26-2007, 03:09 PM
Tina: what dvd’s are you using??
BillBlueEyes: I haven’t gotten out my book since getting the workbook so I can’t compare. I can tell you that it has everything I need. The first 4 chapters were interesting in the book and aren’t included in the workbook. It starts with the work—first making the list of reasons and then off to day 1. An example of day 1 is a full page checklist of ways to review the advantages of dieting (make extra copies; put them on a greeting card for yourself, etc.). There are 10 parts to the checklist. Then it gives us today’s do list, which I think you have too. Without looking at my book I feel there are more checklists and less reading with the workbook—it is straight forward. There are daily planning charts and priority chart for scheduling the day and a journal after the diet starts . . . what I did to avoid unplanned eating, etc. and then at the back there are response cards already made, the most important one, do it anyway. Even if I don’t like using a diet skill, I have to do it anyway. If I do only what I feel like doing, I won’t be able to lose weight and keep it off. There are 24 cards. I will take a look at my book this weekend and get back to you. What I like about the workbook is that it is quick reading and hands on and everything is together.
Diet coach: I really want a coach. I was looking into the Duke Diet and got 5 weeks free which included a diet coach. I like the Beck approach a lot better but the experience with the Duke Coach has really shown me that it is a great tool. I went to www.beckdietsolutions.com and requested a coach a couple of days ago and haven’t heard from them. I don’t know what it costs but I really think it is something that will help me work through some of this stuff. Does anyone have any other ideas?? I would like a coach that I can email instead of call or visit. This is how Duke Coaches are set up and I like it.
Sue I love the money see analogy! Too funny. I like the workbook a lot. I am doing a lot of writing and checking and everything is together. I am doing WW points also.
Today I haven’t been focused—I need to pretend this is day 15 and get focused on losing weight.
09-26-2007, 03:20 PM
GinaXOXO - Thanks for the info. I'm going to peek at
[Note that "solution" is singular - there is no 's']
09-26-2007, 10:06 PM
Tonight I got out my Beck Solution Book. I was asked earlier what I think of the workbook. It was hard to compare because it has been a while since I looked at the book. Now that I have looked at it I can tell you that I like the workbook better, hands down. The book is too wordy for me. The workbook tells me what I need to do and why and has places for me to fill out my thoughts, daily tasks, journal, etc. I ended up putting the book down. I am having a hard time with eating slowly so I thought I would get more help from the book. I didn't. I just got more words. That said, I still think the intro chapters are great and they are not in the workbook.
I hope this helps someone!
PS does anyone have etherapy or online coaching? I still haven't heard from Beck and have to admit that is a red flag. It has been 3 days since I first asked for more information. Is there any other online coaching?
09-27-2007, 05:27 AM
Gina - Again, thanks for the info about the workbook. Think I'll stick with the book, at least until I get started.
I think the checklists are a partridge in a pear tree type of thing. Each program-day, the list gets one item longer. If I dawdle for a week on one program-day, I reuse that list until I progress (e.g. repeat up to Five golden rings each day). For me it might work to make an Excel spreadsheet where I insert a check each day. That would help force me to read the list each day.
Some steps will be easy for me (e.g. Sitting down to eat) and some are going to be difficult (specifically, NO CHOICE on a spontaneously available food option). For example, A few weeks ago, the local Whole Foods grand opening was serving a sample raw oyster on the half shell. I'm trying to work out just why I would want to apply the NO CHOICE rule to that oyster rather than slurp it down and adjust the calories (60) elsewhere. :smug:
09-27-2007, 12:18 PM
I'm so glad to see our thread so full of life! I just did a quick catch-up reading, and found out the workbook is out! I'm going over to Amazon to order it right now.
I have the 4-Day Win but I must say I've been so busy with family issues that I've only read the first chapter. I like what I've read though. It is filled with humor and introspection (always appealing to me) and the bit about the "famine brain" that we create when we deprive ourselves really hit home.
Bill, your patridge in a pear tree analogy is SO right. The TBDS tasks add on to one another in such a way that I had time for little else when I was trying to do them all, and became overwhelmed sometimes with the sheer number of checklists and readings that I was trying to fit into an already insanely busy life.
Like you Sue, I need to get back to square one with the book. I don't have it with me on my trip (I brought T4DW instead) but I need to pull it back out when I get home.
Tina and Girly, I'm feelin' ya on that work-stress-eating. Things are really coming to a head on my job and I'm literally counting the days until I can leave. That has led to some food choices that I really regret now even though I felt helpless at the time I ate them.
Hey Maryblu and Veronica!
Welcome back Gina! Were you here back in May when I started? I recognize you from somewhere on the board...
Well, more later. Gotta go do family stuff in a minute.
09-27-2007, 01:13 PM
Liannie-so good to hear from you again. Hope you work stress soon changes for the better-sure sounds like you are ready for the change. My ex-husband motto was the only thing worst than looking for job is finding one.
Gina thanks so much for the info on the workbook, I also have my order-may be on back order for a week or so.
Bill- I really understand the response to the NoChoice card. Can't I do some modest spondaneous eating and then cut back in another way? This is how my thinner friends actually operate. I guess it can be a slippery slope for addictive types -like me. Going from modest treat to mindless treats has happened to me. But that is where recording everything helps-because then I note I had xx number of cals and then will cut back that day to stay within the planned number of cals or pnts.
How do the rest of you folks balance the No Choice card and real life?
Starting tomorrow it will be the very toughest for me to remain on my eating plan-company spending 2 nights with us-for a birthday party, drinking buddies, I know some techiques-to cut back on eating and drinking but I think this is one of the primo times for my sabotaging attitude and thoughts to rule.
1. It is a party-enjoy
2. Special chance to see everyone-everyone lives 4 hrs away-enjoy
3 Honestly i like the effects of a bit of wine-so relaxing-enjoy
4. I'll be back eating correctly on Monday.
5. Life is short-enjoy
6. It is not fair that I can't do what everyone else is doing.
Overeating is associated with enjoyment/relaxment in my mind. When I am at home doing the normal routines I am OK but during social events, eating out, traveling all the above crops up. Any ideas dealing with these primal but unhealthy attitude?
I am working on new association that overeating-leads to obesity then arthritis-pain-rotten mobility-very limited physical activities. I want less pain and to do more fun things-
In the past when I tried the Beck site-I could not get anything that was interactive. It seemed like I could just read about others prolems and the suggestions to deal with them.
Girly I still have other Beck book on order from the library-It sounds valuable also. This ww still seems to be working for me.
Hi to veryone- Veronica, Tina, and MN Maryblu
09-27-2007, 02:40 PM
L: I think I was here when I was going through the book. You have a great memory!
BlueEyes: I agree that some steps are harder than others. Picking the diet was easy, sitting down is easy, but planning and slowing down are very hard for me. I switched my watch to remind myself to slow down. It worked but now my watch is getting a lot of attention!! LOL
Sue; make a response card. Here is what I did with the first one. Really think about it and then make a decision. Make sure you decide how you are going to handle it before the party begins.
Response card: It is a party so enjoy:
Yes it is a party and I can enjoy it but how much more would I enjoy next years birthday party if I were fit and full of energy and felt good about myself. Each time I demonstrate self-control I will strengthen my motivation and self-control and perseverance. If, instead, I decide to throw caution to the wind I am giving more power to throwing in the towel.
I have come to a decision that some of you might disagree with. I am looking back at my weight history and wonder if I am better off allowing myself a little flexibility. When I looked back and thought about the times I lost weight and kept it off I realized I have never lost weight by being perfect.
I think in terms of all or nothing but that didn't apply to exercise. I never quit even on days when my diet wasn't going well. Fast forward to today and if I can't diet perfectly I don't exercise either. I am going to allow myself a few extra points. If I go over--so what. I am darn sure that being 5 points over today is a lot better than I would be doing if I were "off" a diet today.
What I think is dawning on me is that I don't have to be perfect. If today I use 28 points instead of 25 that I did not fail. I did a lot of things right and went over a bit. A few points doesn't ruin the day. The same is true if I don't have the 5 fruit and vegetables, or if I don't have healthy oil today. The good still outweight the bad and all-in-all I have made progress toward losing weight and becoming healthier.
My thinking before was that I wasn’t successful if I:
Used unplanned flex points
ate red meat
Didn’t get all 8 WW healthy guidelines (fruit, healthy oil, etc)
Ate junk food—somehow I thought I could change everything but my eating patterns and preferences can’t change overnight and I need to be patient and forgiving.
Went over on points
I think I became rigid because I felt WW are the experts and I thought I had to follow it to the “T”. Now I am think that is it too much for me. Too overwhelming. I am an individual and need to acknowledge that I still like chocolate and going out for a burger and fries and I really don't want a salad—I know WW says I can do that but I have always thought that was meant for people who could be perfect—like me!! (:
So, if I go out and have a buger and fries I need to really think about it and figure out if I can use less points throughout the day or go for a long walk and earn some activity poins. Instead of getting a big burger and fries I can get a children's meal. If I apply this to everything and make better choices instead of feeling like I have to be perfect I might be able to have more success.
Am I taking a step in the right direction or is this against what the Beck Solution teaches?? I am not saying that I am not going to try to eat within my points but that I am ok with going over--I haven't failed.
09-28-2007, 12:12 AM
Hey everyone! Hope your week is finishing up okay!
Regarding the NO CHOICE card, I'm not finding that one to be very helpful either. I am finding my meal plan helpful, but I have to admit that I use it more for a guide than a strict plan. If I'm not hungry for one snack I don't eat it and I may insert that food somewhere else in the day or something fairly comprable. I think the saying "Oh Well" to things that I sort of want or to the "unfair" feeling is a lot more helpful. And Gina, I think the "Oh Well" applies to forgiving yourself about unplanned or not strictly within WW guidelines eating as well. I'm finding it easier to just move on and not dwell on it. But I do think the eating plan/food tracking helps keep me in check because it's a very slippery slope for me to move from occasional treat or slip to really bad eating habits. So there's my rambly thoughts for the night!
09-28-2007, 12:56 AM
Gina Your comments about the response resonated with me for not overdoing it this weekend. -yup I do want to be healthier next year. thanks,
Veronica I can deal with Oh well much better than No Choice also.
Gina- I understand the issues of being perfect-I am a very harsh critic on myself. Also there is so much advice out there and much of it isn't good. WW is a program-not perfect, many folks either drop out or regain-me often over the last 30+yrs. I remember in the 70's doing ww, I wanted to have whole wheat bread verus white bread and the leader said "eat the white we don't allow that hippie wheat bread". It certainly much better than those years.
For me the greatest help is awareness-When I record and measure what I eat-that is the best help when making choices-When on the road the other day I did have a happy meal at a fast food place- not that nutrious-but quick, hot and not super super caloric-( no veggies or fruit either) I did count the pnts for the day. Some days I trade pnts in for wine, other days i eat only very low fat stuff and veggies, i do allow flexibilty but if I stop losing, I get more rigid. I just need to not let the addictive behaviors to gain control again. Beck is great when my total calorie count is getting higher or when I start feel that I am eating complusively and I want to stop an addictive response.
My losing weight really has come due to changing of habits, this has been very slow but I feel the changes are permanent. Go at a rate that is good for you and feel good about what you are doing.
09-28-2007, 04:04 AM
Liannie - Your reference to the "famine brain" makes me want to read the T4DW book. That's what I need to avoid - the trigger that tells me "all rules are off".
Sue - Good luck with your guests this weekend. Like the way you state the conflict between spontaneous and the slippery slope. Would like to think that your rigorous recording of food eaten should suffice to avoid the slope.
Gina - Yep, avoiding the perfect trap is important for me. My goal isn't to avoid gaining a pound this week; my goal is to avoid gaining it all back because I quit eating mindfully. I know offhand some 10 people who gained it all back, and can only think of one who kept it all off.
Veronica - Using Oh Well for a shortfall seems good to me. This football analogy works for me: you lose 5 yards this play, it's just second and 15. I know how to play from second and 15. It's NOT time to quit. In football, every play is designed to be a touchdown, but every winning game has a bunch of winning plays and a bunch of losing plays.
Got to try out some Beck yesterday at a group lunch. Ordering was easy because I knew in advance that the menu included Portobello Stack, two portobello mushrooms grilled with tomatoes and a small amount of smoked mozzarella cheese served over white beans and arugula - unbelievably good and a perfect fit for my food plan. So my goal was to avoid the tempting sesame crackers with butter in advance as well as the New England Clam Chowder appetizer. Sat for a loooooooooooooong time as those crackers were consumed by my friends. So, I practiced OK to be hungry on those, and Oh Well on the chowder. Both worked !!! Then I congratulated myself for good food choices. That was helpful also.
No one was interested that I wasn't eating the crackers. They were pretty focused on getting as many for themselves as they could.
Perhaps I would have done the same thing without Beck. But I did feel more secure with some tools in my pocket to support my goals. An additional level of security to stay on maintenance is just what I'm looking for with Beck.
Note to self: Good start - way to go guy !!!
09-29-2007, 11:52 AM
Quick Hello to All,
I'm jumping on a plane back home today and hopefully a return to "normal" life (whatever that is). I ordered TBDS workbook and hope to be returning to a more structured following of the techniques with the workbook in tow.
Sue, good luck with the weekend. I must say I've strayed a bit this trip due to social pressure and for every reason you listed.
Gina, I agree that you need to be flexible in order to be successful. I think trying to be perfect sets up a certain inner tension that ultimately leads to stress-eating, don't you? I know I've been most successful when I've allowed myself to let "real life" change things up here and there. After all, it's "real life" we're going to have to deal with in trying to keep the weight off, right?
Bill, GOOD JOB on the crackers and soup! Great way to go guy! It's funny how you described your friends too busy gobbling those crackers to care that you didn't get any. Most of the time, that's how it is.
Everyone else, HEY THERE! I'll holler back when I get home from California.
Hey, where is Girly?
09-29-2007, 12:51 PM
Veronica: I think having a plan is so helpful. For me, if I don't having something in mind when I get home I end up doing one of the many things that hurts my weight loss (order out, snack, etc.) Even though you aren't always using your plan just having it has to be helping. Is it helping you?
Sue: I am glad it helped. Have a great birthday weekend! I think I will make sure to keep working on awareness (great advice by the way). I think I am losing but it is TOM so I stay off the scale. Hopefully, it works or I will have to get more rigid.
Bill, you did fantastic yesterday! It is funny how no one even notices that you aren't eating as much or drinking as much. It use to be a problem for me until I realized no one really cares!! LOL Where on earth are you from that you have that kind of food on the menu? I am from Iowa and it is hard to find anything healthy on our menus.
Lianne, I can't wait to see what you think of the workbook! I think you are right that it does add unnecessary tensions trying to be perfect. I am going to listen to the advice above and stay aware but that is my only goal--25 points is only something to measure my hunger and intake. I will give that a week to gauge if it is working. If it is, that is my "real life" plan. Have a good trip home!
I am doing pretty good. I have to give myself credit for some of my food choices yesterday. I can see that I really need to shut of my eating at 7:30. This is something I just started after watching Oprah and Bob Greene and I think it has decreased my snacking a lot. Last night I kind of forgot. Not tonight!!
Motivation is not something that comes from "out there" and isn't something you naturally do or don't have. Motivation comes from doing. The strength of my motivation gets stronger each time I make a good choice just as my motivation weakens when I give in a throw in the towel.
09-29-2007, 11:25 PM
I have been taking more wisdom from y'all than giving, but if there is ONE THING I KNOW...it is that "perfection or nothing" mentality about dieting is the biggest trap, the #1 downfall of ANYTHING else. I think Beck does a great job of debunking that....but, man, why do we DO THAT?? As I read the posts on this site...all the questions about this diet or that, is this "allowed"??..as if one little bit of Splenda, or WHATEVER, can make or break a diet and success.
I so agree with "better, not perfect" and being grateful for what we have accomplished. I am about 10 #s heavier this fall than last, but yesterday I went up the big hill in a park near me (fall ritual) for the first time this fall. Last fall, I remeber the first time up was a little bit of a challenge; I soon got conditioned and could go up and down with ease and 3 years ago, I was going up and down 3 times in succession........this year, I went up it for the first time yesterday with ease, danced on top..yes...great joy...dance on top of a hill overlooking lakes and communing with the eagles... and was so energized I went down and back up again, and danced some more...I am more fit this fall than last....then after that, I gardened all afternoon and then went for a horseback ride.....OK, I was stiff this morning and slept in, but, still, I am GRATEFUL ............
...and so I overate today...lol....better, not perfect.:D
09-30-2007, 02:49 PM
Today I am dehydrated, tired, with a mild upset stomach, and 4 1/2 lbs heavier. I know I overindulged but 4x3500=14,000 cal extra. I think not. But I am looking forward to eating much more sensibly again. Inspite of the gain, we all did have a wonderful time with many laughs.
I just can't limit my food during a 2 day party being held at my own home. I accept that. I guess that I will plan to mindful about 345 days a year but accept and deal with the consequences of the mindless eating of the other 20days a year. Anyway back on program and even glad to be on again.
Maryblue-congradulation on your improved fitness. Always feels so great not to be huffing and puffling.
Gina-controling late night eating is a big step. That was a source of a hugh amount of cals for me in the past. I used to believe I could not sleep if hungry. Plus I loved to eat alone and no one saw me eating those rich treat. I now sleep even better now with out the full stomach. I had alot of false "logical" ideas for that unhealthy habit.
Bill, powerful stuff about sticking to your plan and ignoring the crackers and rich soup in the resturante.
L-I have the work book on order also- Hope your flight is OK and you have a chance to recuperate before returning to work.
Veonica and Girly hope all is well with you both.
10-01-2007, 12:23 PM
Mary Blue: First of all what a great day you had yesterday! I have always been one of those people who just had to know is X allowed? And I couldn't start until I was sure that I knew I was suppose to do. The one slip and I felt I was failing . . . then on the the next diet. It is really silly. If I would just relax and let eating less work for me I would probably be thin by now--maybe I wouldn't have ever gained.
Sue, I think that is a really healthy attitude. I am glad you had fun!
I am doing ok. I had company this weekend too Sue. My sister and her two boys and teenage daughter came over. It was a lot of fun! I did ok while they were they but afterwards I binged a bit. I tried to figure out why and I realized that I do that often when I entertain. I think I get a little nervous.
10-01-2007, 09:42 PM
Hey everyone! I've been doing awesome with the exercise but not so great at eating on plan. Last weekend was my birthday and my SO made me a german chocolate cake with chocolate ganache too. Needless to say it was delicious and very hard not to eat the whole darn thing myself. One of my friends made me a cake as well and I did end up throwing that one away after she left, so I think Beck would be proud of that, haha! ;) As far as non-scale victories, I've had a lot more energy lately and I've finally found a time where exercise fits and I don't put it off for another day and another and another.
Gina - Where in Iowa are you from? I just moved to Ottumwa a couple of months ago, I definitely feel ya on the lack of healthy restaurants, I think that's the worst thing about this town as compared to somewhere larger, like Des Moines.
10-01-2007, 11:45 PM
LawMom: I live near Sioux City. It is beautiful weather here!!
I am going to check in tomorrow. I am exhausted at the moment. Night!
10-02-2007, 08:38 AM
hmmm... Will use this September thread and see if it posts as September 32nd :)
Achieved my best ever eating choices last night at my monthly potluck snack before a volunteer meeting. I usually just keep eating as late comers arrive with new dishes. Can't find the starting place to assess all the items available, choose the really special, and serve myself a single plate.
But last night I pulled it off, stopped eating at about the same amount of food I would have eaten at home. Don't have a satisfactory explanation why it worked last night but not the previous times.
< just using this group as my diet coach (per girlythin's idea) until I face making that choice when I reach that program-day >
Sue "How do the rest of you folks balance the No Choice card and real life?"
One example: last week there was a celebration with many desert like options. Normally I congratulate, chat, and comfortably take nothing to eat. But DW said it was the best pecan pie she had ever tasted. So... I chose to take a thin slice with joy. Cut back a bit at my next meal. However, I do worry about your point "I guess it can be a slippery slope for addictive types -like me. Going from modest treat to mindless treats"
Gina "Am I taking a step in the right direction or is this against what the Beck Solution teaches?? I am not saying that I am not going to try to eat within my points but that I am ok with going over--I haven't failed."
I do wish that some wise person gives you an answer. The flexibility path has worked for me for these first two years, but I do worry that it's like following the Ten Commandments (except, of course, for #5 and #6, on which I'm flexible).:(
Veronica "Regarding the NO CHOICE card, I'm not finding that one to be very helpful either. I am finding my meal plan helpful, but I have to admit that I use it more for a guide than a strict plan. If I'm not hungry for one snack I don't eat it and I may insert that food somewhere else in the day or something fairly comparable. I think the saying "Oh Well" to things that I sort of want or to the "unfair" feeling is a lot more helpful."
Guide works for me. Somewhere near the end of the book Beck suggests that a meal plan can consist of planning to choose from a set of known items. This works for my breakfast. I choose in the morning by how I feel then, but I choose from my known set of breakfasts.
Maryblu "...if there is ONE THING I KNOW...it is that "perfection or nothing" mentality about dieting is the biggest trap, the #1 downfall of ANYTHING else..."
Sounds like this whole board is searching in the same direction.
10-02-2007, 01:24 PM
Hi to all,
Kiddos to many for their changes and success.
Bill- very impressed with potluck choices. A food stimulating environment with a shady past (overeating) and you making such positive healthy change.
Veronica-happy birthday. Throwing a cake away is great. I used to eat anything with sugar in it- finding enjoyable exercising is so important. I bet you study for hours get your degree and getting to move again is feeling wonderful. Exercising for me is one of those things I often have to push myself to do, but when done I feel better and really see the physical improve over time.
Gina-Houseguest are so much fun and so much work. I also can get a bit nervous and at time overtired with them. I love their arrival and also love them leaving and getting a quiet house again. I used to binge to reward myself for all my hard work after they left-particuliarly if there was any thing sweet/high carbs left. Those treat must be gone. I am working on feeling and understanding I really need a rest not food. I am tired not hungry. It is such a core response for me to eat instead of understanding I need a rest.
I have lost over 3 lbs of the quick gain. The best I can say that the overindulgence was really unconfortable and that last nights veggie/fish dinner was so appreciated after all the overeating.
There is much addiction in my family-mainly food and alcohol that I find Beck and other information about changing the patterns in the brain so helpful. Things are not so all or nothing but understanding that slowly I can change some of the unhealthy patterns give me great hope. I am also using some meditation to replace food for emotional calming. There is research that meditation can change the brain so the individual feels greater calm and compassion. I feel that these helpful tools will stop me so that i don't hit the slippery slope of addiction going a 100miles an hr for months/years again in my life. Plus one of the 1 st cards I made reading Beck was my personal whys I want to lose weight which helps me refocus and get back to improving my health.
Big hi to Girly and Liannie and Maryblu
much success to all
10-03-2007, 12:57 AM
I'm still around. Pretty much just maintaining my initial loss of 4.5#s, but haven't been staying on plan for a while now. I'm doing lots of positive things, and at the moment I refuse to worry about it. I'm so busy. I think distraction is my best technique right now...just eat and move on to the busy-ness.
Shout out to my "old" comrades Liannie, Sue, and Maryblu. :hug:
And hello to the newer-comers. It's great to see the interest in Beck.
10-03-2007, 04:41 PM
Bill: Today is September 33rd (: Good job at the pot luck. You said you don't know how you pulled it off . . . maybe it is becoming natural for you. If it is that is GREAT! That inspires me more than anything.
Sue: Good job on taking off the 3 pounds. I sometimes overeat when I am tired also. I never understood that was what I was doing. It is especially hard to deal with when you just can't sleep (lethargic but not tired)! Anyway, I think I am coming down with something and I am pretty run down. Here is what I would do for a response card:
When I am tired I cannot focus like I need to. I don't like that feeling so I use food to distract myself and/or to try to gain some energy:
I don't like it when I can't control my energy and focus but I have to decide: I can eat when I am tired or worn down and gain weight or I can learn to tolerate negative emotions (or soothe them myself by doing something else) and get thinner. It take 10 minutes of activity to gain energy.
Girly: I hope things calm down for you and I am glad that you are still doing well!
I am not doing great yet. Actually, I am a bit out of control. I wish I could find an online coach. I did get ahold of the beck coaching and they said that they are working on an online program and ecoaching. It would be great! I sent them another email asking what their timeline was and I haven't heard from them.