100 lb. Club - Wasted time, and feeling overwelmed...




lalique
08-30-2007, 11:02 PM
I know I'm probably not the only one who feels this way sometimes... But I really feel like I've totally wasted away my whole almost 21 years of life because of being fat. I haven't done alot of things I would have love to do, because of being fat. I feel like I lost out on alot of things.

Losing as much weight as I need to lose seems very overwelming and nearly impossible.. Losing 2 pounds a week consistantly, would still take me well over a year. Thats a loooonnnggg time when you want something so badly.

And to think.. If I would have started doing good a year ago, I would have been almost done by now.

Just a little rant, since I'm feeling a bit hopeless right now. :(


xFLUFFYx
08-30-2007, 11:13 PM
Lalique...:hugs:
Please don't feel hopeless...hun...you have soo much to look forward to in your life. You have a whole life ahead of you to do everything you have ever dreamed about. When we want something so badly..it does seem, at times, like it's never going to happen...but trust me..it will happen.
Never never lose sight of your dreams..it's what keeps us going.

TempleBody
08-30-2007, 11:19 PM
I don't know what to say other then I feel the EXACT same weigh right now. Here I am...19...going to be 20 in January.

*sighs*


shelby897
08-30-2007, 11:19 PM
Lalique -- If we go by your principle, I've wasted 36 years of my life being overweight (okay, I was thin for about 5 years of it), but I look on the other end, I don't want to waste another 36 years!! My mom is 64 and has been trying to lose weight her whole life. I just think of it as -- the year will pass whether I lose weight or not -- so how do you want to end it -- losing the weight or waking up one year from now in the same situation??

I feel the same hopelessness, needing to lose 100 lbs -- 2 lbs a week seems so slow, but my other option is to continue gaining at a much faster rate if I don't get control over this -- so in one year I can try to be down 70 or 80 pounds or continue making no effort and being in the 300's.

I feel like my life has just passed me by too -- but I can also look forward to all the things I will be able to do, even after losing like 30 lbs I know it will be interesting to see what new things I can accomplish.

Gale02
08-31-2007, 12:36 AM
I used to think that way and then I realized - HEY! I'm young! I've got a lot of life ahead of me.

I feel so blessed that I'm figuring this out in my 20's instead of my 30's or 40's or 70's (or whatever.) You'll be all of 22 in a year, do you have any idea how many people around here would love to say they figured this out at 22?? Try to remember that you are really, really young (I'm only 23, so I am too) and that you've not lived the best of your life yet. I love my life, everything about it, and I thrill in the thought that the best is yet to come. It's going to be what I make it. :)

Robin41
08-31-2007, 12:45 AM
You're figuring this out way before most of us did. Give yourself a break; you're off to a great start.

As somebody who's about to turn 43, I can tell you that all the really good stuff comes after you turn 21. All the kid stuff looks important but all the really important moments and fun are still to come.

KrisR
08-31-2007, 01:47 AM
I'm knocking on 50's door within a couple years and I can tell you I understand what you are saying. I would love to be able to go back and tell the young Kris what the old Kris knows but really......I have so much life ahead of me STILL, that I just need to keep doing what I've been doing lately. Whether I'm 117kg or 70 kg or somewhere in between, I wouldn't want to give up any of my time on this earth. Sure, it would have been fabulous if I had awoken to being fit and healthy when I was 20, but if I could of, I truly would of. I didn't get to this point by not caring or trying - I got here in spite of all my best efforts and I hate to cut myself down for that.

As Robin said, you are off to a great start! How wonderful you are making changes at your age that you will enjoy for a lifetime. Think of the things you will do in the next 50 years.....it's mind-blowing.

nicolen
08-31-2007, 02:44 AM
Coming at this from a different perspective - I'm 33, 34 at the end of the year. I don't think of those years as wasted at all. I'm not the same person that I was at 20 and 21, and I don't want to be that person again. I'm in a much better place in my life now than I was then.

If I could turn back the clock and find a way to start making the changes I'm making at the moment, I'm not sure I would have done it. I would love to have opened my eyes sooner, but in saying that I've known all along I was overweight and I knew the risks that posed to my health. At that age it was all a case of "I'll worry about that tomorrow". Tomorrow's finally caught up with me...

So, no you haven't wasted those years. You're at a place that I wish I could have been at when I was your age. I'm a little envious of that, but I wouldn't trade my 20's and the person I am now, to have lost all that weight then. I wouldn't be the person today that I am now had I done that...

hellokitty81668
08-31-2007, 06:59 AM
I think all of us , at one time or another feel this. I guess you can't dwell too much on the past, because it can bring you down, just know you have to work hard to get this off, no matter how long, and it will be worth it in the end.
cheryl

boaterswife
08-31-2007, 07:07 AM
Oh, Lalique, so many of us here can relate to what you're saying! I'm 39 (yeah, really, not just "holding"!) and for a long time I thought I had just wasted so much time and was bummed out. But as so many have already stated, the good stuff is yet to come. You haven't even touched the surface of so much of it yet! So listen to yourself and remember, you're aware of the changes that need to be made now. Time will pass whether you make those changes or not, so wouldn't you rather be lighter next year at this time? Labor day weekend '08 will be here before you know it, and you can be many sizes smaller and much happier by the time it arrives. I also needed to lose 100 pounds when I started, and it's been 54 weeks since I began....you think a year seems so long, but in reality it feels like I've been doing this for a couple months, not 12+. Get into a grove and the time will just pass. You can do this, Lalique, we ALL have faith in you! OK, now I'm just rambling....but you get the picture!

Dr Geri
08-31-2007, 07:53 AM
I am saying this as much to myself as to you...

All you have is this moment. Do not give this moment away to regrets about what was, or anxiety about what will be. This moment, right now, you are on the road. You can make a healthy choice. That's all that's real.

Geri :wave:

denialisnthappiness
08-31-2007, 08:22 AM
I can't really add much more than has already been said. One thing I have found though - that whilst it seems to drag day to day meal to meal, when I look back I think wow it's been eight months already; and it's so much better than I can think that knowing I'm doing something about the weight, rather than being the same

dek6
08-31-2007, 08:24 AM
I know it is hard. I am going to be 30 in september and I not only wasted my teens but I alos wasted my 20's being afraid. Atleast you are doing something about it now. Dont look at what you have lost.. look at what you have ahead of you. That was my biggest problem every time I would lose weight. I would think about time wasted and things that I will never get back and I would look at the BIG number that I have to lose.

Make little goals. Just take it one goal at a time. Do every ten pounds or every size you go down or inches lost. then it wont seem like as much and before you know it you will be there.

You said that if you had started a year ago you would be where you want to be. But look how fast that year went. And next year will be here and you will be where you want to be and instead of saying "IF" you can say I did it. GOOD LUCK

GirlyGirlSebas
08-31-2007, 08:59 AM
You can't go back and re-do your past, but you can impact your future in big ways! Yes, it can take a while to lose a lot of weight when our body will only release a little fat each week. But, please realize...you don't have to reach goal to start reaping the benefits of weight loss. The benefits of more energy, smaller clothes, increased self confidence can all start now...and just keep getting better the more you lose. Be thankful that you are doing something now. Just think, you could be like me. It took me until the age of 42 to decide that I will lose the fat no matter what it takes. So, I've wasted double your years!

Jen415
08-31-2007, 09:04 AM
You're figuring this out way before most of us did. Give yourself a break; you're off to a great start.

As somebody who's about to turn 43, I can tell you that all the really good stuff comes after you turn 21. All the kid stuff looks important but all the really important moments and fun are still to come.

Amen, sister Robin!! :):D

Mrs Quadcrew
08-31-2007, 09:20 AM
Rennie - you said it well! I am 47 and feel the same way. Live in the NOW!
I am loving life more now than I ever have, and that is because I choose to!! You can start today making the choices you want to - and do that EVERY day, just think of where you will be a year from now!!;)

MugCanDoIt
08-31-2007, 09:56 AM
I could have written your post. Please know you are not alone. I have over 100 lbs to lose and want it now! It is depressing to think you have that long to go, but hey, all we have is time. And we have to start somewhere, right? So know you aren't alone....

ChristyDM
08-31-2007, 10:35 AM
My two cents on this topic: Sure, I wish I had started this before I was 30. Heck, I wish I had never been overweight. But I also look at this way - who I am, and have been has shaped what I am today. And I'm not talking body shape. I mean who I am, inside. I know people who've been thin all their lives who've never experienced being made fun of...they don't know the hurt it causes, so they think it's ok to tease or make fun of people who are different. I know how it feels, so I make it a point not to be ugly like that. I know what it feels like to be the one who needs coaxing out of a shy shell, so I try to do the coaxing now when I see someone else like I was. I know what it's like to be the "odd" one in the room, since I was usually the heaviest. So now I seek others out who may look uncomfortable and do my best to help them feel welcome. I'm not always successful. But I try. And I really believe that my character and all the things I do are molded by who I am, where I have been in my life, and the experiences, all of them, good to horrible, I've been through. Going through this change to my lifestyle is just going to add to that character, I hope. So yes, I have my what if moments, we all do. But I try not to focus on them. Instead, look to the future and what it has to offer.

Bouncing
08-31-2007, 02:00 PM
Oh, Lalique, you are so awesome already, at 21. And not in spite of what you've experienced, either. BECAUSE of it. Look around you. I bet you'll notice, as I have, that the people who have never been through anything hard, are almost always shallow and BORING. They lack the wisdom that only comes from surviving. Against all odds, sometimes.

The Pretty People usually lack compassion, and empathy, and a sense of proportion. They're the ones who sneer at people they judge to be not as good as they are, not as pretty, not as smart, not as virtuous. When the truth is, they have never been tested in any way. They are weak, because they've never had to develop any muscles.

For the most part, humans are as lazy as life allows us to be. We don't learn anything we aren't forced to learn, and we don't do anything we are not forced to do. I think that's got something to do with why we're at the top of the food chain: we're efficient!

In the process of overcoming this trial, the weight trial, you are learning that there isn't anything you cannot do, anyplace you cannot go. You are learning through experience that you are strong, and need not fear people, places, or things. You can't buy that, for any amount of money. So Go Lalique, Rah!

Stepping Out
08-31-2007, 11:03 PM
:hug:Please don't be discouraged. Look at your avatar..you're making progress toward your goal. Please don't beat yourself up over what's past, or get down on yourself because the pounds aren't coming off so easy. You've got a wonderful, exciting future ahead of you...GO FOR IT! :carrot:

lizziness
08-31-2007, 11:48 PM
Just wanted to pipe up to say - you are not alone. I beat myself up constantly for all the things I should have done "by now." and you know what I'm learning? It doesn't change a damn thing! All you can do is start each day over and do your best to make the most of your days and of your life.

There are a lot of things I regret not doing - losing weight, staying single longer, going to college - and I have a hard time because I keep thinking I am TOO OLD to do it and I'm still in my 20's! Just gotta keep plugging away at things and seize all opportunities no matter what size you are and how you feel about it.

K8-EEE
08-31-2007, 11:53 PM
I really highly suggest Geneen Roth's books....basically, they are about not waiting until you lose weight to do stuff. Maintaining weight takes a lot of effort too after all, but it's not anybody's occupation, just like dieting isn't!

She says, a lot of people have an image of a "different me" when they lose weight and in they're deepest self, they feel "taken over" by the ideal stranger.

I WISH I HAD READ THESE THINGS WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE!!

Can you believe...I had job interviews I didn't go to because I was too fat...AT 130 POUNDS!

jtammy
09-01-2007, 12:07 AM
Lalique,

You've gotten lots of great advice already. I remember being your age and thinking how a year seems like such an incredibly long time. Many, many times I thought the same things you are thinking; that it would take me so long to lose weight. I just couldn't imagine spending that length of time trying to lose weight. Fast forward 15 years and 150+ lbs, and I finally figured out that time would pass whether I was trying to lose weight or whether I was gaining weight. So, why not spend that time trying to lose weight. My mantra when I was first trying to stay motivated to lose weight, was "I don't want to weigh the same thing a year from now". That was what encouraged me to keep working at it, particularly in the early months.

Something else to consider is that you start seeing benefits of weight loss long before you hit goal. So it won't actually take that full year before people start noticing you have lost weight, before you start fitting in smaller clothes, before you start having more energy, etc, etc. Those things will start happening within 20 -25 pounds. And it will just get better as you get closer to goal.

Like the others, I'm proud that you have figured this out at 21 and are giving it your best efforts. I wish I had done that. Not so much for what I missed out on at that age, but for what I missed out on doing when my children were younger. I do regret being so heavy that I missed doing things with them when they were little.

Good luck and keep posting. This board is full of great advice.

ZedAus
09-01-2007, 04:29 AM
I turned 45 this past April and I have to agree with some others that I wouldn't go back to my younger days for anything. I believe that I lost the weight at the EXACT time that I had to. I wouldn't have been ready for it earlier. I know I have had some hard times in my life because of my weight, and there have been a few tears shed and a few 'choice' words voiced, but I believe that I am a better person for the things I have gone through.

It took me 2 years and 2 months to lose my weight and I could not believe it when I actually realised that I was close to goal. That time had totally just FLOWN by! I still have a few pounds to lose, but friends, colleagues and my doctor don't think I should lose any more, so I am sitting here and enjoying myself at the moment.

It has been a year and a half since I lost the weight and my life has simply blossomed in that time. I have been in a national weight-loss competition and had a makeover and photo shoot for the magazine, I have been in another magazine, on the news, on three current affairs shows and two talk-back radio shows. I teach in an elementary school and I have taken on a new IT role, I am teaching a year level that I have never tried before, I have been on stage to give out awards (something I NEVER would have done before) and next week I am going on stage to lead the school song and the National Anthem. I joined a Literacy Educator's committee and helped to organise and run a state conference earlier this year, presenting speakers to a fairly large audience. In the last few weeks I have also joined a choir and am SO excited about developing my life in this area. This group are the Australian champions and will be going to Hawaii for the world championships next year and I would LOVE to go with them. I would NEVER have even contemplated this when I was larger. Today hubby and I bought a keyboard (for basic skills and to use at school) and have a larger keyboard (piano size, with LOTS of functions) arriving next week. I am going to learn the piano so I can sing along and learn my harmony parts for the choir. Hubby also plays and I would love to sing along while he plays. There is just SO much I want to do now.

I truly believe that my life has turned around, health-wise, relationship-wise (I feel as though I am a better wife now, more positive and outgoing), work-wise and socially. I couldn't ask for more.

It is NEVER too late to do this. I wish I had been more confident when I was over 350lbs, but it is a simple fact that I wasn't. That is OK. I still had a wonderful life, with many friends and loved ones, and I am well and truly making up for any shortcomings now!

Good luck with your future, but please don't waste any more of your 'present' regretting your past.

Take care,

Zelma

CLCSC145
09-01-2007, 02:41 PM
I have said very similar things over the years. At 25, at 30, and at my current 35. Yes, there are physical limitations of being obese, but there are many, many emotional and mental limitations we pick up as well. Logically, I know that those are things I don't have to be thin to change. Easier said than done, I'm afraid, but nonetheless true.

One thing to consider is that your post implies that you have to wait until you reach goal to feel better about yourself. The wonderful thing I have found is that I felt different very quickly. I have a long way until goal, but I already feel more confident, healthier, and overall, better about myself. So stop worrying about what you haven't done and start living. Start really focusing on your plan and in no time you'll be feeling much better!

sockmonkey70
09-01-2007, 08:47 PM
I know EXACTLY how you feel..Even with what I have already lost...Some days it seems IMPOSSIBLE to EVER reach my goal...I feel like I am doomed to be fat..It is somehow my destiny and I cannot escape it.

But then somedays, I have that hope..the inspiration that I CAN do this, and I CAN have the body I WANT...But I have to love the body I have now first. It's so hard sometimes. You can't say your life is wasted because of your weight. There is so much more to life than a stupid number on a stupid scale. You have learned so much, and you should use that knowledge to help you now.

We can do this chickie pie! I know it's hard..I am having one of those days where I just want to call it quits. But I will wake up tomorrow, eat right, and do it all again the next day too. And somedays, I will wake up, slip up on my plan..but so what. It's one DAY of the REST of your life! We can make it!

lalique
09-02-2007, 05:43 PM
Thanks everyone, for all your support, and encouragement!! :)