100 lb. Club - On the verge of tears




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MugCanDoIt
08-27-2007, 01:26 PM
I just have to get this out so I will post on here. i have been so depressed lately, along with anxiety. Today I am holding back tears cause I am at work. All I want to do is go to bed and just be at home. I take anti depression medicine, but forget to take it half the time.

I really don't think it is due to weight issues right now. I just sometimes get to where I dont want to leave the house, just want to sleep. Sometimes it gets better, but until that time comes it feels unbelievebly horrible. I have to go to work. I don't want to talk to people, I hope they don't look at me. I just picture going to bed and not dealing with anything at all.

I called my husband two times by 10:00 this morning, just to hear his voice. Sometimes just hearing him over the phone makes me feel some better. Even looked up self help online, but am still on the verge of tears. I just had to get this out somehow.


hellokitty81668
08-27-2007, 01:40 PM
Mug,
I am so sorry you are going through this. Why do you forget to take your medicine? What will help you remember?
I get depressed, but do not take medicine for it. When I feel really down, I try and get myself busy, do something in the house, or get outside and walk. I don't know what will work for youo, I don't know why are you depressed, but you have to get yourself together, and overcome it, if it is medicine then take medicine, if it is getting busy then get busy. You are a beautiful person on the inside, now you have to work on gettting your outside beautiful. I know you are worth it!! You are somebody.
:hug::hug: cheryl

wanna b thin
08-27-2007, 01:41 PM
:hug: Mugs, here are some hugs coming your way:hug:

I'm sure those of us who do not suffer from depresion can not understand what you are going through. I just hope those feeling go away soon and you are have a better day.


Idealmuse
08-27-2007, 01:44 PM
Mug I used to be bad with remembering to take mine too... but when you're going through this whole weight loss thing it really does make it just a tiny bit easier so your not stuck in your head. I notice I feel a LOT better when I'm constantly on them and adding exercise to the mix. Can you put the medication bottle by something you do every day? In front of the toothbrush? TV? Where you keep your shoes?

I know its rough... but take care of yourself and you'll have better energy to focus.

-muse

Glory87
08-27-2007, 01:45 PM
I just have to get this out so I will post on here. i have been so depressed lately, along with anxiety. Today I am holding back tears cause I am at work. All I want to do is go to bed and just be at home. I take anti depression medicine, but forget to take it half the time.

Lay your toothbrush across the pill bottle - or put the pills next to your coffee mug in the kitchen. Make it so you can't forget them. Keep them in your purse, so if you remember you need to take them while you are at work, they are handy. Keep an emergency pill or two in an envelope in your desk drawer, so if you forget to take them, they are handy at work.

LaurieDawn
08-27-2007, 01:46 PM
Hey Mug! I had actually been hoping you'd post. I thought about you a lot this weekend and hoped that you'd be here this morning letting us know about your great weekend, or maybe post that this weekend was better than the one before, or maybe say that even though this weekend wasn't good, you'd learned something from it that would help the next one be better.

I'm sorry that you're having such a rough time, though. Depression is a serious illness, but one that can be treated by a professional. The thing is, though, that being depressed makes it hard to find the energy to seek treatment, and that can be a vicious cycle. Even posting here had to be tough. I would encourage you, though, to get in touch with your health professional and work on getting a treatment that will help you with the depression. I know that seeing a therapist was great for me, and I know that my mother's time at an inpatient facility made all the difference for me when I was young, as she came back a lot more able to deal with life. There are lots of different treatments, and I'm sure you can find one that is effective for you.

Good luck to you. Please keep us updated on how you're doing.

settie
08-27-2007, 01:51 PM
I'm sorry you are dealing with this.:hug: I have been struggling with depression for about 10 years and when I start into a bad episode I experience many of the things you've mentioned...not wanting to be with people, going to bed so you won't have to deal with things... Yes, it does feel horrible but for me one of the best things to relieve it is taking meds. Yes, they do have side effects but I'd rather live with that then the depression. Depression meds only work if you take them on a regular basis.

If you are not taking them because you feel they aren't working, you may need a change. I also started seeing a psychologist about a year ago. It is the best thing I've ever done - other than drugs - for my depression. I am doing Cognitive Behavior Therapy with her and I have come to understand and question many of my horrible thoughts and feelings.

Please seek medical help if you need it. Good luck.:hug:

Cassie501107
08-27-2007, 02:01 PM
I went through this last year, so I totally understand. I had a hard time getting out of bed, and would cry all day..I cried when my husband went to work, and I must have called him 10 times a day...finally I got put on Zoloft, and it's helped me quite a bit.

I wish you the very best.:hug:

MugCanDoIt
08-27-2007, 02:03 PM
Thanks everyone.

Steelslady
08-27-2007, 02:08 PM
Can you put the medication bottle by something you do every day? In front of the toothbrush? TV? Where you keep your shoes?
-muse

I was going to suggest the same exact thing. Every night, I take my Zoloft with my vitamins and I have them on my desk with my toothebrush so I won't forget them. :D

Mugs, hun, I know how you feel. Please hang in there. Maybe your medication needs changing or an adjustment? Call your doctor- there's no reason for you to live like this, hun. Anxiety and depression can suck, but there's help for it thank God. By any chance are you getting close to your TOM? That is the worst time for me, and it's usually when my anxiety/exhaustion strikes.

Muse is right- more exercise really, really helps. Even just walking in place- it totally relaxes your body and mind and reduces stress and anxiety. Swimming (or should I say, just playing, heh heh) in the water also relaxes me as well as dancing.

The medical condition I talked about in my "98 pounds to go" is Anxiety/Panic disorder- something that changed my life a bit drastically for awhile- twice within three years time. The first time I had one was back in June 2004, put on Zoloft, taken off in December that year. I did ok without the meds and thought I was over it.

To my utter horror, I had another attack last October (hence, my weight gain *sigh*). It was so bad that I was taken away again by ambulance to the hospital.

I ended staying the night because my heart was racing on and off all night and I just couldn't catch my breath. Although I wasn't depressed at the time it happened, the restrictions it put on my life until the medication started working (6 months- ugh!) caused me to become depressed. The doctor put me on Lorazepam for several months- it helped very little, and I told him back in March that I needed something better than this, and requested to go back on Zoloft. It took two months, but the Zoloft finally kicked in and I feel so much better now and don't think of my anxiety much at all now, except for when TOM is due, to which is very common among women from what I understand.

I became determined to not let it beat me and to not let it stop me from living a great life.

Hang in there, sweetie. Know that there are others out there going through the same- there is a light at the end of the tunnel. :hug:

Bouncing
08-27-2007, 02:25 PM
Mug, putting my meds under my tootbrush would never work: who the **** brushes their teeth when they're depressed?:?: Putting some in my purse helped, along with setting an alarm on my computer that would scream at me (I used a siren sound effect, but turned the volume down so my co-workers wouldn't come running to complain) to remind me. Now that I'm not working, they're by the kitchen sink. I take a lot of different meds and vitamins, so I got one of those pill containers with a compartment for each day of the week. That way I always know if I took my meds that day or not -- take meds for long enough, and the days sort of run together, and I don't know if I took them today, or if that was yesterday I'm remembering, or even some time last year!

When I'm feeling good, I used to skip the anti-depression meds. Then I'd start feeling bad. Now I FINALLY have it through my head to take them every day no matter what. After all,no treatment, no matter how good, works if I don't do it.

I truly understand, and I hope you feel better. Know that we love you, and for lots of us, your story is our story too, and there IS a way out.

Idealmuse
08-27-2007, 02:32 PM
"Mug, putting my meds under my tootbrush would never work: who the **** brushes their teeth when they're depressed"

Haha thats why I said TV, Shoes etc. I actually keep mine right infront of the computer so when I'm sitting here I have to eventual look at the bottle. It is really hard to get the motivation to do anything when your stuck in that downward rut... but you aren't the one to blame. Your not lazy. Your not forgetful... It's the depression talking.

-muse

MugCanDoIt
08-27-2007, 02:38 PM
I think the forgetting to take the medicine once I start feeling good is doing most of the damage. I once questioned if I should change to something new, but I guess I cannot really answer that unless I take the one I have continuously.......

Idealmuse
08-27-2007, 02:48 PM
Look at it like losing weght though. You know you can't diet and then go back to eatting whatever you want. It's the same with the medication just because your feeling better doesn't mean you don't need it. Doesn't mean you can't ever go off it, but obviously if your struggling you need to be on it.

nicolen
08-27-2007, 03:01 PM
Oh, how I can relate, Mug! Been there, done that and as of last week off the meds, so there is a way out of this, I assure you.

Take the meds every day. For me this wasn't an issue - I take meds for my epilepsy and have done for many years, so it was easy for me to just add a new packet to the bathroom cabinet. Are you on the Pill? Take a multi vitamin? If there is something that you take on a regular basis, put the anti-depressant with them and take it at the same time. The meds do help, but you must take them for them to be effective.

Sometimes doctors can prescribe the wrong meds - especially with anti-depressants. If, after getting into a routine, you still feel like this then don't be scared to go back to the doctor. Not every med is effective for everyone.

Sending lots of :hug: :hug:

GirlyGirlSebas
08-27-2007, 03:27 PM
Mug, why aren't you taking your medication? It really does help, but it can't do much if you arent even taking it. Trust me, I know from experience. The chemicals in your body are all out of whack. You might need to take medication forever or for a long time. That's okay. If you were a diabetic, wouldnt you take your insulin? I have a history of depression and I truly understand what you are going through. In your current condition, you can't even think straight without the medication. So, get back on it....okay?

MugCanDoIt
08-27-2007, 04:10 PM
I am going to make a point to take my pill every darn day! I used to set an alarm for my bc pill, so I guess I can do that for my depression pill too. Glad to hear I am not the only one who has delt with this. Thanks all.....

dek6
08-27-2007, 04:26 PM
I take paxil. but not for depression. I have alot of anxitey issues. so i know what it is like to have to take a pill everyday. but it really does help. i can not tell you the difference I feel when I take the paxil as opposed to when i forget to take it. now if i can just find a pill to make me exercise and eat healthy. lol hang in there. things will get better

CLCSC145
08-27-2007, 05:45 PM
You aren't alone in your depression, Mug! I've been on Wellbutrin XL for several months and just had my dosage increased. Everyone has given you terrific advice, so I'll try not to be repetetive. I think the best thing you can do is take them regularly and if it's not working, talk to your doctor. I think the statistic is something like 40% of people put on anti-depressants aren't on the right one the first time. They all work a little differently and sometimes it's trial and error to find the right one.

Please take care of yourself. I think many of us have felt what you are feeling right now, and know that it can get better!

Lifeguard
08-27-2007, 05:58 PM
Mug, putting my meds under my tootbrush would never work: who the **** brushes their teeth when they're depressed?:?:
.

LMAO!!! This is a dirty little secret of mine that embarasses me to no end to think of. Whenever people say something along the lines of being as automatic as brushing your teeth I cringe.

I think you know you need the consistency with the meds, most of us with depression have been then. It's so hard to create consistency with things when you feel like you're just hanging on. And for me when it's going good I am so focused on getting all the things done that I couldn't when I was down the meds sometimes get forgotten.

Keep working on it - you'll get there.

MugCanDoIt
08-27-2007, 06:06 PM
I take paxil. but not for depression. I have alot of anxitey issues. so i know what it is like to have to take a pill everyday. but it really does help. i can not tell you the difference I feel when I take the paxil as opposed to when i forget to take it. now if i can just find a pill to make me exercise and eat healthy. lol hang in there. things will get better

I take Paxil too. Have for 7 years now. It works wonders on anxiety and did for depression too, but I think I may need something else for depression. I definately can tell a difference in anxiety if I do not take it. I am gonna start taking it every day and go from there. What a mess!

rockinrobin
08-27-2007, 07:34 PM
Aw Mug, I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I'm glad to hear that you are indeed going to start taking your medication everyday - without fail. They can do wonders for you and you deserve that.

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

modkittn
08-27-2007, 07:54 PM
I am going to make a point to take my pill every darn day! I used to set an alarm for my bc pill, so I guess I can do that for my depression pill too. Glad to hear I am not the only one who has delt with this. Thanks all.....

I set an alarm on my cell phone to remind me to take my pills. Works every time (as long as the phone is on! :)) Hope you are feeling better soon!

NickiB68
08-27-2007, 10:28 PM
I hurt my foot 4 years ago. Once all the healing was done....it stayed swollen. So the doc gave me 2 options...take an anti-seizure meds to control the swelling for about $100/month. Or take a mild anti-depressant for $5/mo. HHmmm....which to choose? LOL Of course I chose the $5/mo anti-depressant. What the heck, I thought, I've always wondered if I was depressed...just too ashamed to ask the doctor. Well....that little pill has made the BIGGEST difference in my life! My foot is still swollen, it will never be 'normal' sized again. But my attitude is sunnier. I am happier and more laid back with my kids. I am not that tense anymore. I am so glad I chose that pill!
But...I would forget if I had taken it. (I used to count the pills and try to remember which day I got them! To see if the correct # was in the bottle!) I wasn't used to taking a pill everyday. And I had to take it before bed....it makes me sleepy. I keep the bottle in the kitchen cabinet, high up, away from the kids. And my kitchen calendar is on the wall right next to the cabinet. So every night, I make my glass of water to take to bed, take my pill, and put a check mark in the corner of that day on the calendar! Its been a life saver!

Stepping Out
08-28-2007, 12:12 AM
:hug: I could have written your post! I'm so sorry you're going through a hard time right now. I'm in the process of looking for a new medication for my depression. Please keep taking your pills; and if you're not seeing any improvement, see your doctor. You're not alone in your struggles. We have a whole forum here devoted to depression and weight issues. Keep posting and keep your head high. You're an inspiration to me! :)

missy3gal
08-28-2007, 12:34 AM
Oh sweetie, this is a really hard time for you but it will get better. I have some training in psychopharm, although mostly with older drugs, but I do know that you have to take these things daily for many months and sometimes longer before you can look into tapering off. Please take it daily so that your biochemistry can level off. Give your brain a chance to figure out what's going on with those meds so that you can eventually change doses or go off of them.

This isn't a "forever" thing. You won't always feel like this and you probably won't always need to take meds. It's not your fault that your body chemistry is screwed up causing you to feel depressed.

I'm new here, but I'm going to be looking for your posts. {{}}

GingerA
08-28-2007, 10:33 AM
Hi Mug - I'm glad to hear that you will make an effort to take yr med every day. My doctor has recommended certain vitamins & medication for me. I was willing to take this but kept forgetting.
My solution was to get those giant 7 day pill boxes with the days of the week. I know it's usually for the elderly to remember their prescriptions. But I fill it up with my vitamins & med for the week.
Most imptly, I enter it into my diet jounal. I usually take them in the morning, but if I forget, I catch it in the afternoon when I make an entry into my diet journal (or sign onto 3FC) :)
Anyway, you have a number of suggestions on routines to help you remember. The impt thing is to figure out the routine that will work for you, And routine is very impt.
When you have yr routine figured out, you can share with us what worked for you. Hang in & keep posting!!!
Ginger

ChristyDM
08-28-2007, 10:53 AM
Mug, I missed this post yesterday. I hope today is a better day for you. Let us know,ok?

:hug:

MugCanDoIt
08-28-2007, 11:06 AM
Today is much better so far. Thanks everyone.

xFLUFFYx
08-28-2007, 11:24 AM
Hi mugs..I'm just catching up on your posts...I'm glad to hear that you are going to keep up with taking your meds each day. It is important that you do this.
I am on an injectable form of Haldol, every 4 weeks (sometimes 5th week)
I go to the base clinic and they administer it to me and I take another medication orally called Risperdal. The injections literally saved my life, because I often forgot to take my oral haldol (my main medication) or would decide that "I didn't need it" and once I stopped taking it, it was very apparent that I DID need them.
I won't get into my own diagnoses, but I have had it for over 20 years now and I can tell you from experience, if I miss my dosages..it messes me up and takes a long time to build it back up in my system.

Find a way that helps you to remember to take them each and every day. :)

raebeaR
08-28-2007, 01:40 PM
Hi, Mug,

Good on ya for actively addressing your depression -- it makes everything so much harder, doesn't it? Hugs from me, too, for all you're going through just now!

I have a suggestion that might help you to remember to take your meds. I'm not on medication for depression, but I must take a pill each day for hypothyroidism. Left to my own devices, I'm very bad about remembering to take it. So I enlisted my husband's help. He takes daily blood pressure medication and is very regimented in his routines. I thought, why not take advantage of his disciplined nature? Now, when he takes his pill, he takes out my 7-day pillbox (in addition to my thyroid medication, I take a daily vitamin, calcium supplement and a baby aspirin) and places it on top of my coffee mug. That's one thing I'm definitely going to grab first thing in the morning! After I take the pills, I place the pillbox back in the kitchen cabinet with my husband's medication. This routine has worked a treat -- I haven't missed taking my pills in months and months. And I always know if I've taken my meds: If the pillbox is out, I haven't; if the pillbox is back in the cabinet, I have.

I'll bet your husband would be happy to help, too!

All the best to you.. it will get better!!

Rae