100 lb. Club - Do you ever feel guilty?
08-21-2007, 04:44 PM
OK, couple of different angles to this question here.
Part 1: We all know that water helps our weight loss. So I've been drinking water a lot. We have a cooler with the big 5 gallon tank thingie here at work. For a while, I was filling my glass from that. But I work in an office w/just my boss and myself, and even though she never said anything, I noticed that I seemed to be single handedly draining it. So....I bring water bottles from home now. And well, we all know that more water means we go more. And going more means I'm using more tp. (and paper towels too when I wash my hands.) Again, my boss hasn't said anything, but I feel like maybe I should bring in some replacement tp and paper towels since my personal consumption of them has increased since I started my change.
Part 2: My hubby works nights, so I often spend time at my parent's house in the evenings. My niece and nephew (and thier mom) live there, so I play with them, talk to my mom, etc. The other night, the kids had a snack and asked if I wanted any. I just smiled and said no thanks. Kids were fine with it, their mom made a big deal out of "Aunt Sissy is on a diet. Y'all can't give her that stuff." After she said that, they seemed to be disappointed that I had turned down their offer.
So...I'm obviously having issues with guilt here, whether it be feeling like I am ripping my boss off (of tp and paper towels, no less!) or hurting the munchkins feelings. I just cant figure out why. I know I'm not being selfish by getting myself to a healthier place in my life. I'm not intentionally stepping on anyone by what I am doing. I'm not doing anything wrong. So why do I feel guilty? Anyone else gone through this? Or am I crazy? :D
08-21-2007, 05:07 PM
I can relate to the guilt. But, I would urge you to try and get past it. Your boss and those munchkins want the best for you. When I started, I felt guilty rejecting my husband's invitations to go out to eat (I couldn't do restaurants until recently) or my children's homemade goodies. But I just reiterated to them how important this is to me until they finally got it. Now, my children know my trigger foods, and will shield me from them. For example, my husband occasionally buys chips - though last time he specifically asked if I minded. My son made sure to put the opened bag into a cupboard where I rarely look. When I asked him why I did it, he explained that he didn't want me to have to see it. These small actions mean the world to me, and they know how helpful it is to me, which in turn makes them feel good.
So, I would suggest that you confess to your boss that you are worried about the impact of your lifestyle change on the water and bathroom supplies and ask him if you can contribute. Chances are good your boss doesn't even care. Especially if you get health insurance through work, your boss may just be appreciative of the changes you're making. Let your niece and nephew help you in any way that would be appropriate. Maybe you could take a walk with them? Not a serious "I'm exercising" walk, but an enjoyable, "I have a more active lifestyle" walk. Anything that they can do to help you would be a boost to both them and you.
I've learned that most people in my life are happy for me, even though I've inconvenienced them in small ways. I bet you'll find that's true in your life as well.
08-21-2007, 05:17 PM
LOL, okay I will admit that a few years ago in my office, we had a water cooler that we all chipped in on. There were three ladies that were "dieting" (not in the change of lifestyle type - but in the "I'll punish myself until I lose weight type") that were filling up 1/2 gallon water bottles a couple of times a day. I wasn't in the office very much, so I hardly ever used the water. After several months of paying my share and never drinking any, I gave them a months notice that I was dropping out of the water pool. It got to be expensive to me and I wasn't using it. Now I keep a brita water pitcher in the refrigerator and let anyone use it and they can chip in money towards the filter replacement if they use it. I work for a very cheap employer......:(
I don't think you need to feel guilty. Is your employer as cheap as mine and your co-workers have to pay for their own water? If not, I wouldn't worry about it.
As you mentioned, the kids didn't really mind until their mom said something about it. Maybe you could bring some fruit or something that you could share with them one night if you feel guilty about turning them down. Otherwise I think we kind of do have to be selfish about losing weight. This is something that we have to do for ourselves, but we are definitely worth it.
08-21-2007, 08:43 PM
I feel most guilty about the time I take away from my family by exercising. Usually I use the treadmill while DS naps but occassionally he wakes early and I refuse to stop until I'm done. I'll park him in front of the TV for the remaining time
I hardly ever see DH as he's in school full time and working full time. Yet, as soon as he gets home I run out the door to walk the dogs for an hour. By the time I get home, he's dead tired and not in much mood to visit with me.
I agree with Tammy about the water at work. Depending on the situation, it may be better to bring your own. I always tried to bring my own, given the amount I consume. Lucky for me, I'm not working right now so I can suck up as much water as I want, lol.
The little ones will understand in time. If they're old enough to start learning about nutrition (my DS is 4 and talks about vitamins) then you may be able to explain to them what you're trying to accomplish. Just tell them something like "Cookies don't have the right vitamins for Auntie" or something age appropriate. They love you and they'll support it I'll bet.
It's hard in the south though. I know how you all feel about the pressure. My parents live in Texas and Arkansas respectively and I swear the pressure to eat unhealthy food is through the roof there. I do miss my sweet tea!
08-21-2007, 08:51 PM
I use to feel guilty about how often I have to go to the restroom now; I always have to pee! But, I don't smoke, so I just call them my "smoke breaks" now.
08-21-2007, 09:08 PM
Guilty of being another guilt monger!!!
My guilt right now is all the water I'm drinking and I worry about the billions of people in the world with no access to clean water. In fact, my guilt over this has been so bad that my plants are all dying because I refuse to run water all over the ground for some plants! It just seems like such a gross waste, to me...and for nothing. If I had a garden or something that was producing food for my family it would be different. So yes, I do feel your guilt! I think that's just how some of us are programmed.
08-21-2007, 09:16 PM
I'm lucky in that I have no guilt. I have an awesome support system here at home and at school and feel the amount of money they are getting out of me they can sure as heck by me some TP. :D
I would say that since you are the only employee it might not be a bad idea to bring in a package of TP and paper towels from time to time. Rack up them brownie points, you know? ;)
08-21-2007, 11:27 PM
I use the stuff at work now granted there are more people around but my attuide is I work hard and do everything they ask and even go beyond what is called for. So if I use more then the other so be it but I make the companies bottom line look good. I do keep a stash of toilet supplies due to the fact we run out on the weekends a lot.
As for the kids they bounce back easy and I think it was more of the way thier mom spoke to them like they were trying to hurt your something. I yell at her for talking to them that way and making them feel bad they just being nice.
You should talk to your boss and ask if she would like you to contribute tp and papertowels. and i would talk to your sister on the side and tell her that it is hard to lose weight and you are having alot of guilt and just ask her to please not say stuff like that, especialy infront of the kids. and if she does it again, just explain to them that you are not on a diet, that you are trying to get healthy so you can be around for a long time to play with them....