I have been bouncing around between areas on this site for about 6 weeks now, but haven't found a "fit" for me.
I think compulsive overeating/binge eating may be me. For as long as I can remember (even when I was a child), I have eaten much more food than the people around me. I sneak food. I lie about how much I have eaten or how recently it has been since the last time I ate. I often eat "all I can eat" at a buffet and then find myself wanting to eat shortly (minutes) afterward. I eat before I go somewhere, or as soon as I get home so I don't get embarrassed in front of the people I am around. I look forward to eating alone and I think about food and the next time I can eat A LOT. I can tell myself I am not hungry and then find myself eating, even as I am sure I'm not hungry. I have tried and failed many diets, usually within a short time. Not because I don't want to lose weight, but because I will tell myself I am going to follow a plan and then shortly thereafter, find myself eating what I just said I didn't want to.
I am sorry this ended up being so long. My main intention of posting in this forum was to get some feedback and suggestions on what to do. I think I am just really overwhelmed and confused right now. It has never occurred to me that I could have something besides a lack of willpower, but reading the posts and even writing the stuff I did, I am guessing it's me...
Good to read your post. Nobody but yourself can truly give you the answer as to whether you belong here or not – but I can share with you that I really relate to a lot of your issues around food.
I too LOVED to eat alone – and would obsess about this a lot. This would lead me to manipulate my life-style so that I was alone a lot and could then eat what I liked without worrying about the shame I felt deep-down about my compulsive overeating.
OA has changed things around in that way for me. Because the programme is working, and is helping me be less obsessed, I now find my desire to eat in a social civilised fashion is emerging, and it’s wonderful to have my ‘social butterfly’ wings back. She was always there – it’s just that she was clouded over by the dark shadowy spectre of compulsive overeating!
I'm not part of OA, but I stumbled across your post and wanted to just say I completely identify with your situation. In fact I just blogged almost the same story yesterday! I've been a life long complusive overeater, sneaking food, eating in secret, eating before social eating events because I was sure I wouldn't get enough and would be driven crazy, etc.
Just know that you can overcome it. Everybody is different in what works for them. OA for some, sheer stubborness for others, medication worked for me.
I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in these feelings. Have you ever read any of Geneen Roth's book on complusive eating? I found them very relatable. Best of luck to you!
I have been bouncing around between areas on this site for about 6 weeks now, but haven't found a "fit" for me.
I think compulsive overeating/binge eating may be me. For as long as I can remember (even when I was a child), I have eaten much more food than the people around me. I sneak food. I lie about how much I have eaten or how recently it has been since the last time I ate. I often eat "all I can eat" at a buffet and then find myself wanting to eat shortly (minutes) afterward. I eat before I go somewhere, or as soon as I get home so I don't get embarrassed in front of the people I am around. I look forward to eating alone and I think about food and the next time I can eat A LOT. I can tell myself I am not hungry and then find myself eating, even as I am sure I'm not hungry. I have tried and failed many diets, usually within a short time. Not because I don't want to lose weight, but because I will tell myself I am going to follow a plan and then shortly thereafter, find myself eating what I just said I didn't want to.
I am sorry this ended up being so long. My main intention of posting in this forum was to get some feedback and suggestions on what to do. I think I am just really overwhelmed and confused right now. It has never occurred to me that I could have something besides a lack of willpower, but reading the posts and even writing the stuff I did, I am guessing it's me...
Thanks for listening/reading
Zestforlife-you are not alone!!!! I'm not a member of overeaters annoymous but have dealt with excessive overeating and binging my entire life. I've mentioned on the boards before I literally used to get up early in the morning come downstairs for a meal then go back to bed as if I had never ate and then when everyone else would get up for breakfast act like it was my first meal of the day. Additionaly in the past I have snuck bags of chips etc and ate the entire bag and would hide the bag in the garbage so no one would know. I've struggled w/this my entire life and it's still a struggle now. I can eat and litteraly minutes later be hungry. I'm not sure if you are following a specific meal plan or exercise program but what has worked for me is having "mini meals" so I get the satisfaction of eating throghout the day without the huge intake of calories. I also eat higher protein lower carb to satify the hunger better. I also plan everything out-now I don't get obsessive about it but I'm learning how many calorie, fat, protein are in what I'm eating and trying to keep myself within a healthy range (for me about 1500-1800 cal). I've also trading the binging for exercising. Instead of getting up early to start eating I have a light breakfast and then walk before I go to work. It's hard but I'm making progress.
Please please please don't feel that you're alone! I know how you feel and wish I had all the right answers for what you're dealing w/but I hope some of the suggestions may help. If you want to talk further feel free to send me a message or if you just want to chat 3FC's is such an awesome site you can find so many friends here to talk to.
Thanks for all the feedback. I did go to the OA website and took the quiz. While I was taking it, I was pretty sure someone had been following me around for a week or so and then wrote the questions based on their "findings". Needless to say, almost all of the questions had yes answers for me.
So, I will check out the author that was recommended, but are there any other suggestions?
My other question, is, how did you decide that meetings were for you? I am not against going to meetings, I am just in the middle of moving to a different city all together and feel like I want to wait until I get settled there. I am curious what led people to the decision it was time to go to a meeting.
I am going to spend some time searching around on the net and looking at other information. I am a little overwhelmed by the realization that this may be a "disorder" instead of just a matter of willpower. (Although I have always known there was something abnormal about the way I eat).
You are not alone in your feelings! We were all amazed when we found out that we weren't the only person who related to food in an insane way.
I really recommend that you get a copy of the book "The 12 Steps and Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous". Read Step 1. You will know if you are a compulsive overeater after reading it. You can get it from www.oa.org, amazon.com, possibly the local library, or at most OA meetings.
Get to a meeting. It's okay that you are moving and will be changing meetings. You aren't going to "join" the meeting. You will be attending it as an anonymous person just like everyone else. You will hear people sharing about their lives, their disease of compulsive overeating, and how they have found recovery.
It's scary to go to that first meeting. We all were scared the first time. But, you will find that it's a place where you are accepted, understood, loved, and supported.
I am so thankful to know that my ability or inability to stop compulsively overeating is NOT a matter of will power. As a matter of fact, I'm completely powerless over food. No wonder I couldn't stick to a diet long term! OA offers a solution that works if you work it.
Am I in the right place?
