100 lb. Club - What do you Wish you had known LAST time?




Idealmuse
08-16-2007, 04:07 PM
So you know a lot of us have been throug the weight loss thing more then we want to admit... So for those of you whom have lost fair amounts in the past but gained some/all of it back what do you feel you learned that makes THIS time different?

I figure if we all pull our heads together something might click for someone who is struggling.

Mine was: Empty Carbs = No Willpower! I always thought *I* was the issue... now I'm a firm believer that with me it's 90 percent foodchoices/chemistry and 10 percent willpower. Also that doesn't mean I have to cut it all out it's all about what you know causes YOU issues, and how to balance out the choices you make, and not to keep that crap in the house... and to not keep anything off limits just know when and where to eat it. I don't have to goto extremes. I don't have to go low-carb I just have to go GOOD carb! :)

-muse (whos lost 50lbs maybe 4 or 5 times but THIS IS the last time!)


Vanessa M.
08-16-2007, 04:19 PM
I wish I would have had my head on straight. My priorities were all sorts of screwed up.
Now I have the maturity, support, and willingness, to get the work done that will get me the **** out of this fat hole!

KforKitty
08-16-2007, 04:24 PM
I've also lost that 50lb, three times before and the thing I've learnt is that I am not going to eat things that I don't like, just because I'm on a diet. This time I'm making changes that I know I can sustain. So no cottage cheese and rye crispbreads this time round.

I'm also learning (but not quite there yet) as per a recent thread, is to accept the compliments when they come, instead of thinking people are just being kind.

Good thread, btw.

Kitty


xFLUFFYx
08-16-2007, 04:31 PM
I have only tried to lose weight one time before...and it was many years ago. Back then I was under the impression that ALL fat was bad.

Knowing now, that all "fat" is not created equal and that there are those fats that are actually good for us and those like the trans fat's/saturated fat's that you want to avoid has made my dieting less difficult.

Also being able to better understand and educate myself on carbohydrates, the difference in simple ones and complex ones and how they play a role in our diets.

Also, knowing that there are tons of support groups, forums, blogs ect where you can receive support and talk about things just like this and figure things out together....I didn't know these types of places existed last time. I am sure grateful that I found this website this time around...

watchhershrink
08-16-2007, 04:46 PM
i never lost weight before this, but im fairly young too... literally from the womb until i was 18 years old i steadily gained weight. like a balloon ready to pop. it just never occured to me that i could actually stop it. what i have learned though is that its not magic, its not as hard as i thought it was. i second the whole 'dont eat foods you dont like'. its important not to give up because of binges or bad days or even a bad food choice. i also love that weight loss (for me) is basically a math equation. in < out thats it. :) i hope im still welcome to post on this thread even though this is my first (and only) weight loss attempt.

Idealmuse
08-16-2007, 04:58 PM
Watch -

You're more then welcome to post. Some people get it right the first time and we can definately learn from those people as well. I think the only reason I failed other times is I was still trying to eat the same crap foods but just switched over to low/cal-low/fat versions. or I was so strict that when I did mess up it went on to a full-on binge for months/years.

Depression was also a big issue with me too but that's another story. :)

I think it's awsome you have a handle on this at a younger age. I'm only 33 but I've been technically obese since I was 18 and overweight well before that and I feel like I've missed out on a lot because of it.

-muse

vealcalf2000
08-16-2007, 05:02 PM
I wish I had known that buying clothes a size bigger was just asking for trouble. I put on 15-20 lbs and went up a size. Instead of getting my head out of my you know what and losing those pounds I bought the next size up and when it got tight I bought the next size up. What was I thinking?????!!!!!:dizzy:

rockinrobin
08-16-2007, 05:12 PM
I wish I had known:

-That is was doable and that I could do it. I spent soooo many years thinking that it wasn't. I just chalked it up to having no control and was practicallly resigned to living my life (a shortened one no doubt) being miserable. What nonsense. I've ALWAYS had the control. No one ever forced me to put food in mouth. Never not once.
-That by giving up the foods that I overate the most, it would make me want them less and less. How cool is that?
-That I wouldn't I miss all that high calorie/high volume food.
- How much better I feel eating less
-How much better I feel being active
-How much energy I would have.

Oh I could go on and on. I just plain old wish I had woken up earlier and not wasted so much precious time. :(

GirlyGirlSebas
08-16-2007, 05:13 PM
I always lost weight for vanity.....just because I wanted to look good. Also, I never dealt with the left over emotions that had no where to go and no way to be soothed. When the emotions took over again, I used the food for comfort and gained all of the weight back. This time, I was 42 when I decided to try again....and vanity was no longer my primary reason for doing this. I do still want to look good, but I now had painful knees and feet, fatigue and no stamina to speak of. This time, my primary reason is my health and my future. This time, I am learning how to deal with the loneliness, boredom, anxiety, depression in healthy ways. Food is no longer my solution.

better health3
08-16-2007, 05:28 PM
I could write a chapter on this topic, but I will try to keep it brief.

1. Change the workout routine every 6 weeks. Keep switching it up so my body doesn't get used to what I've been doing. I need to weight lift to increase muscle and change the shape of my body.

2. Starvation diets don't work--I gained the 60+ pounds when I started to eat "normal" again.

3. Do not weigh yourself 20 times a day. Do not gauge your self-worth on what the scale weight states. FOCUS on changing habits then the results will come.

4. Accept the fact that *I* am the only who can change it.

5. I will never be constantly motivated; it comes and goes....keep going no matter how frustrated I am.

6. Read my "why" reasons everyday to keep me on track.

7. Get exercise out of the way as soon as possible.

8.Let go of my past attempts and focus only on what I can and did do today.

9. Come to terms with I *ruined* my body by binge eating. I can only get it to the best I can be. Every person has different results, addressing unrealistic expectations.

10. NO matter what excuse I can come up with it truly comes down to how much you value yourself and how bad you really want it.

11. Don't expect to change 13 different habits at once, pick three and work on those. Give self stars on calender for when I do work out.

12. I can do it no matter what my negative chatter states.:D

13. It is hard work. Yes, that one piece can hurt. NO, start now, don't wait until Monday.

14. It is possible. I DO have it in me. No matter how hard the ride gets; it is worth it.

15. The people who win at this are putting in more effort, time, and portion control compared to the ones that don't. They keep going no matter what.

16. If i binge, get back on the horse as soon as possible.:dizzy:

rockinrobin
08-16-2007, 05:31 PM
Better health3 - BRAVO!!!!!!

By gosh, I think she's got it. :)

:bravo::cp::bravo::cp::bravo::cp::bravo:

Idealmuse
08-16-2007, 05:34 PM
Actually I breifly mentioned depression, but your comment about eating because of feelings made me think I should expand upon that. I knew before I was an emotional eater and I ate because I was bored or lonely or sad... Knowing that is one thing but what to do about it when you can't seem to help yourself and eat even when you don't want to?

I think I was also trying to self-medicate with food. I think lots of people do it to an extend but given my history I think I was probably champ at that aspect of it. Hehe.

Taking care of myself this time around also included getting on medication for the depression. I know mediction alone wouldn't help with weight loss as i've been on it before and gained lots, but being on it and actively DOING something about it I suppose I'm less likely to head to food to fix what's missing in the head. Especially if I'm not eatting the sugar which drives me to eat that stuff in the first place.

I still feel my food choices and daily exercise are the main keys for myself, but it's important to take care of all aspects of yourself I think.

CLCSC145
08-16-2007, 06:47 PM
Having lost and regained 120 pounds, I guess the thing I wish I had known is that by losing my control I would go on to waste another 7 years of my life being fat.

Even now, I wonder what these last 7 years would have been like had I not spent them in a vicious cycle of eating, feeling depressed because I was gaining and lonely, and eating more to soothe those feelings.

I also know from experience that losing the weight doesn't make your life magically wonderful. Sure, it's easier, people are nicer, you look better, you're healthier, but otherwise you are the same person with most of the same problems and insecurities. So you can't do this to fix who you are. If you don't like who you are as person now, work on it NOW. Otherwise, after the weight loss you'll just be a person you don't like in a better package.

sockmonkey70
08-16-2007, 06:49 PM
CONSTANT vigilance...I was a chubby preteen/early teen, and lost 30 pounds the summer before highschool. I weighed 99 pounds my freshman year (though I was a late bloomer with no boobies and only 5'1" at the time). Then after I lost the weight, I started eating the way I did before. NUH UH. Can not do. Just think..if I had only got it right the first time..But atleast I have something to learn from!

Belly Buster
08-16-2007, 07:05 PM
I too was a vanity eater. Take off ten for the wedding, take off 15 so maternity clothes looked good, take off 20 for the beach trip. Ugh! I was always successful, but once that "event" was over, so was my desire to or my drive to be thinner. I know now that I have to drop this weight to be healthier not only to be thinner. I know that this is a life long way of living, not just a "until I get there" life. I have to much that I am looking forward in my life, I can't let my health or my weight get in the way!!

Secondly, I know that a healthier lifestyle is a choice minute to minute. If during any one minute I choose to live less than healthy, it doesn't mean that my whole hour, day, week, month, life is destined to be unhealthy. I slap myself up, and make better choices there after. I used to think the whole week was shot if I slipped up, and I would just decide to start over the next week. Not anymore!!

And finally, I get rid of clothes as I grow out of them. Nope, I can't afford new clothes, but I also know that I can't afford the mind set that a few extra pounds is ok because I have bigger sizes in the closet. I am good to scrounge up the cash for a smaller size..... not so much for the bigger ones!!

sidhe
08-16-2007, 08:34 PM
1. I'm different. My body is different, my chemistry is different. I have to test everything and just chuck the advice that doesn't work for me. So what if "other people" can eat all things in moderation? I can't. Period. And I've had to accept that and work with what's real for me.

2. Eat food as close to the way it grows as possible. The less manipulated the better!

3. I'm in it for the long haul.

4. Lastly, the thought in my sig: if hunger is not the problem, food is not the answer.

lalique
08-16-2007, 09:40 PM
I wish I would have known that a special guy was gonna walk into my life, so I would have tried harder, and maybe been successful... So I would have not been ashamed of myself, and maybe had a chance with him... :kickcan:

sockmonkey70
08-16-2007, 10:02 PM
lalique you should never judge your self worth on your weight. Above all else, you are a human being. You are NOT a number on a scale. Remember that.

lalique
08-16-2007, 10:23 PM
lalique you should never judge your self worth on your weight. Above all else, you are a human being. You are NOT a number on a scale. Remember that.

I know... But I just can't help it sometimes. I've never had a boyfriend. And no guy has ever made me feel pretty or special. And I know its because I'm overweight. I'm not a real pretty girl even without all the extra pounds. Anytime I've ever tried to let a guy know I like him, I always get shut down, and end up feeling embarrassed for even trying. Thats why I've become shy and reserved, and I just keep my feelings to myself.

sockmonkey70
08-16-2007, 10:30 PM
You are young! You have many years left to find that dream guy...And you know..I was reading a survey not too long ago..The number one thing guys were attracted to was confidence in a woman. Try to love yourself..Who cares what others think of you. If you don't love you, then it's hard for others to appreciate you.. BIG OLD :hug:

Glory87
08-16-2007, 11:58 PM
That it had to be forever. Since it has to be forever, it has to be something I enjoy. So - no more starving, no more fake foods, no more being hungry, just eating lots of foods I like.

Bouncing
08-17-2007, 12:16 AM
For me, I think it didn't matter what I knew or didn't know. I knew a LOT and it did me no good at all. I had to hit bottom. I had to be so sick and tired or being sick and tired, that I wanted change more than I wanted to eat that [fill in the blank]. I had to completely surrender, admit that MY best ideas and best efforts got me to 274 lbs, and that if I listened to the experience of other people, and do what they did regardless of how I felt about it and whether I thought it would work, I couldn't do any worse than I had done on my own. I had to commit to doing this, knowing I was probably going to have emotional meltdowns, and knowing that they're only feelings, they can't hurt me, and they will subside. And sure enough, when I got sick and tired of drama, I quit creating it! I had to quit disasterizing. I can always imagine some apocolyptic scenario that will surely happen by Tuesday at the latest. I had to just stop. Do something else, Refuse to let my mind go there. Refuse to dwell on worry OR food, even if I have to hit my bare toes with a hammer to distract me -- I've found that a book, phone, tv, internet, crossword puzzle, bath, vacuuming, wash the floor with a toothbrush, paint the deck at 2 in the morning, all work. Anything. And if it doesn't work, go on to the next thing. So far, so good...

beautifulone
08-17-2007, 12:40 AM
There are a number of things that have already been covered :)

The several that really stand out for me:

1) KEEP ON GOING. I know I'm not going to eat perfectly 100% of the time, I don't even know what that means. I'm going to miss a few workouts, sure. But as long as I live a healthy lifestyle most of the time, it's all going to work out.

2) If you get off track, get yourself back on as soon as you can :) This is a lifestyle, not a temporary diet. That means sometimes I may get off course, but eventually I will resume my path. Quicker is better :) It's no fun to have to lose pounds that you've already lost once.

3) Whatever you do, do it with love and respect for yourself. I firmly believe that the more love you feel for your body and yourself, the better the journey. And confidence is key too :)

4) Educate yourself. Educate yourself about nutrition, about exercise - make sure that the exercise you do is benefiting your body and not harming it - that the techniques you are using (ex. weight training) are correct.

cara1980
08-17-2007, 09:52 AM
I wish I had known a better way to deal with my emotional factors.

I wish I had known in advance my sister was going to move in with me and get pregnant, leave and cause me problems with my entire family. I wish I had known my uncle would die in a tragic car accident, I wish I had known my dad would take a truck I purchased from my grandmother and be very slack about paying the note. I wish I could see all these things in advance so I could have thought of a better way to deal with them rather than turning to Brusters Ice Cream.

Mrs Quadcrew
08-17-2007, 10:15 AM
I now know that it is up to ME. If I want to blame my weight on emotional crap, unkind people, the love of food, etc. I would just have kept eating until I exploded. When I finally took the responsibility for MYSELF, it all clicked. No one else put that food in my mouth or tied me down to the couch.

If it is to be it is up to ME.

boaterswife
08-17-2007, 10:27 AM
I've never been on the dieting roller coaster, I just started gaining and kept on gaining......that said, there are still a couple things I've learned!

I don't HAVE to be fat. That's right, it's up to me if I'm fat or not. The last 10 years I didn't try to lose weight, just said, well, it's not falling off on it's own so I guess this is the size I'm supposed to be. WRONG.

The other biggie for me is that this is NOT a diet. The word diet to me means this is a temporary thing. Wrong again. This has to be a lifestyle change that sticks forever, or I'll get the displeasure of having to do it all over again and that's something I just don't want to do!

I can have treats and goodies, just like everyone else. The difference is, my treat needs to be occassional, not daily.

NotTheCheat
08-17-2007, 10:43 AM
That being fat doesn’t mean there is something intrinsically wrong with me and therefore that I don’t need to diet to purge myself of this wrongness. I always looked on dieting as necessary punishment inflicted on myself to try and exorcise the evil :demon: called fat. I would treat myself horribly, and since my best known coping skill for misery was ice cream, it created an infinite loop of despair.

The other thing is that I always figured that “dieting” was something I should just know how to do. I thought that I would be able to go from zero to perfect in one day. I never thought of it as a skill that I need to build over time and that I can evolve with as I go. What worked for me at the start doesn’t necessarily work anymore. As I face new challenges I learn new skills. That is called life. You don’t know it all at the start – you have to live it.

Janny O
08-17-2007, 11:03 AM
For me-it was starving to lose and get me a husband. Got the husband, but I ain't starving....
Seriously....too many health issues. Now that they have mostly disappeared-I can concentrate on more fun type things....

NiftyTink
08-20-2007, 06:54 PM
I wish i had known that eating for two doesnt mean you have to double your usual daily intake...:D...and that i was the one that wanted the Taco Bell and mint oreos...not the baby...;)

thistoo
08-20-2007, 07:57 PM
I'm only 33 but I've been technically obese since I was 18 and overweight well before that and I feel like I've missed out on a lot because of it.

Oh, I know that feeling. I'm 35 and determined that this time I will finally do it. I'm not getting any younger, and I'm tired of feeling self-conscious about my weight all the time. It's held me back personally and professionally, and I refuse to let it have that power over me anymore.

I have learned (finally) that I have to count calories. There's no other way for me; I have to know exactly what I'm putting in my mouth at all times, and I have to work out as much as possible or all the dieting in the world won't make a difference.

CLCSC145
08-20-2007, 08:15 PM
Oh, I know that feeling. I'm 35 and determined that this time I will finally do it. I'm not getting any younger, and I'm tired of feeling self-conscious about my weight all the time. It's held me back personally and professionally, and I refuse to let it have that power over me anymore.

I have learned (finally) that I have to count calories. There's no other way for me; I have to know exactly what I'm putting in my mouth at all times, and I have to work out as much as possible or all the dieting in the world won't make a difference.

I'm right there with you two! 35 and done with letting my weight negatively impact my life anymore.

Glory87
08-20-2007, 10:20 PM
I was 35 when I started too :)

Idealmuse
08-20-2007, 11:13 PM
There must be something about 35... because I wanted to get there before I was 35 which is hmm... 16 months away. I want to be healthier in my later half of my 30s then I was in all my 20s/early30s.

-muse

Sandi
08-20-2007, 11:58 PM
Watch -

I think the only reason I failed other times is I was still trying to eat the same crap foods but just switched over to low/cal-low/fat versions.

-muse

the thing I've learnt is that I am not going to eat things that I don't like, just because I'm on a diet.

kitty

Really good points. I have heard these from many people over the years and I think they really ring true.

NewDay4MeToo
08-21-2007, 12:04 AM
I am more and more aware of how maintenance will require me to be diligent and use all the same skills as losing.

When I have lost weight and then slowly let myself get into the habit of having dessert at most meals, ordering whatever I want, having huge portions, etc, those are the things that made me gain in the first place!

Gretchy
08-21-2007, 01:12 AM
The main thing is that I'm improving. Like I've seen in someones sig on here "Two steps forward and one step back is still a step forward." Just because I fall behind I don't have to give up and throw in the towel, I still have made some improvements and if I have to keep taking 2 steps forward and 1 step back until I get to goal, by god, I can do it!

WindyCityChick
08-21-2007, 02:11 AM
That the "secret" to weight loss really is a pretty simple mathematical formula - calories in less than calories out. (and I know maintenance is going to be a minor variation of the above, i.e., calories in = calories out).

At the end of the day, that's it for me - and with all my analytical skills, somehow it took me to age 40 to figure this out.

When people ask me how I've done it and I respond with some variation on the above, they look so disappointed!

penor
08-21-2007, 12:36 PM
I learned this time to not blame the kids for being home for the summer as the reason for putting my weight back on and quitting plan. I was the one driving the car...I didn't need to stop at the quick lunch places.
It's MY doing not theirs.

sharonrr1
08-21-2007, 12:44 PM
What do I wish I knew last time?(also for the last 20 years)
Don't go on an off a diet!!! Sounds simple but oh so true.

I've done only lean cuisine dinners, fasted(juice & water only), weight watchers, atkins. Lost 40 - 50 lbs. only to gain it back and then some.

This time I calorie count. I allow so many calories for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. when I am done with my calories, I am done for the day. I don't have to eat diet foods, just healthy whole, taste good foods.

On that note I am going to have a bowl full of green beans with almonds for my mid morning snack.

eander5696
08-21-2007, 01:28 PM
I wish I hadnt wasted my 20's fat and miserable. I wish I hadnt gotten so fat now I have PCOS and won't be able to have kids naturally. I wish I hadnt lived my life for someone else's happiness. I wish I would have realized, how precious my life is to the others around me and all my nieces and nephews.I also could go on, but those are the ones that stuck out.

Lyn2007
08-22-2007, 02:39 AM
I wish I had known how big I would get and how it would hurt me and my kids. If I had only known the pain, the things I would miss out on, and the feeling of having wasted a decade of my life being obese, I am sure I would have never gotten so discouraged when I went from 199 down to 165 and got "stuck" and 165. It seemed so awful, being stuck at 165 for weeks. So I quit trying. Ten years and 100 more pounds later, I see the light. I wish I had seen it sooner.

TEN pounds down, 100 to go!
my blog:
http://www.escapefromobesity.blogspot.com/

CBETA
08-22-2007, 03:05 AM
... So you can't do this to fix who you are. If you don't like who you are as person now, work on it NOW. Otherwise, after the weight loss you'll just be a person you don't like in a better package.

thank you. I actually think this might be something I need to keep in mind.
Part of me thins, I don't like myself because I don't have what it takes to do the work...but yes, I need to be aware that I need to ensure that I like myself, and reward myself, and check with myself not to loose site of who I am. And if necessary adjust that for the future possible me. (not sure if this makes sense, but thank you for including this)

Vanessa M.
08-22-2007, 03:05 AM
When people ask me how I've done it and I respond with some variation on the above, they look so disappointed!
I recently disapointed my mom with a similar response. She asked me what my secret was ans all I could say was that it's not rocket science, it just numbers...

Vanessa M.
08-22-2007, 03:10 AM
I wish I hadnt gotten so fat now I have PCOS and won't be able to have kids naturally.

That is just not an accurate statement. Controlling one's weight can absolutely restore your cycles and enable you to get pregnant naturally. Women do it all the time with PCOS, I have it too! After losing this much weight I am now having regualr cycles and ovulate on a consistent basis.

If you need help with this, please PM me! PCOS is NOT a death sentence or even a fat sentence.