[KateRN]

gah!!!!

i looked in the mirror today and realized that i no longer see a general body shape based on any bones or muscles - but i feel like a person suffocated in fat.
i've lost my bones and melted into myself!!



i've managed to gain 35lbs over the course of the last few months out of ONEderland and over my initial start weight. I am now the fattest i have ever been.

i'm 150% miserable.

ugh.

in an attempt to help myself, i just changed jobs to a job where im not sitting all day, i'm moving to a new city on a 3 month contract to get myself out of my bad habits of drinking and eating out constantly (my wallet will thank me for this as well), my clothes dont fit, i am walking differently, my chronic back pain returned with vengeance, i feel wholly unattractive... i'm even avoiding the scale for fear of it. i have climbed into oversized scrubs and big tshirts. i avoid eye contact with attractive men and hide in the house. my social anxiety went sky high again!

i just needed to get that off my chest.
i need to get back on track, big time.
big big big time.

[tomandkara]

Kate, most people are far too preoccupied with themselves to worry about what others look like. You are doing something wonderful by taking the first step and making changes in your life. Make a plan, stick to it, and keep coming here for support and encouragement!

Kara

[JayEll]

Hey KateRN,

You can learn from your experience! What happened during those last few months that got you out of your groove and into weight gain? Was it job stress? Relationship? Did you get tired of "dieting" and decide you didn't care? If you can identify where the change happened, you can be on guard better for the next time!

Get back on track! You can leave those 35 pounds behind!

Jay

[Kae]

You can do this! I know the prospect of losing the weight again sucks. I am experiencing it now. Not only have I recently been going up and down the same few pounds.. but the last time I lost about 30 pounds I gained it back plus another 60! I'm just trying not to focus on it and focus on where I am now and not where I was.

[Jasmine31]

Kate I am sorry to hear that. If I remember right you were struggling with alot of other issues that were NOT helpful. Just get back on it! You can do it!