Does anyone ever get afraid at all about getting to their goal weight? It's a bittersweet fear of course, but sometimes I don't know if I'm prepared to live life outside of my fat girl shell. I've always been overweight, at least I have been since I hit puberty, and as happy and excited as I am about dropping the weight, it's such a big and significant change! I'm not sure if I'm making any sense, but does anyone share any similar feelings?
Wow, I was just thinking about this tonight during my walk.
I was imagining fitting into all the clothes I could see as I walked past the shop windows and yes I felt fear. I actually told myself I'll probably get down to a reasonable weight (still slightly overweight, no longer obese) and stay there. Because that's my comfort zone.
Things that stop me from wanting to be thin:
- getting attention from guys. I hate, hate, hate it when guys come up to me on the street with some awful line ("Hi, how you doin'" and the likes of it ). I don't want to have to fight people off. I just want them to leave me alone in my cocoon. My lovely, fat, reassuring cocoon.
- afraid even when I'm thin I still won't be able to accept my body, still won't look good naked. I won't have the perky breasts or the tanned, flawless skin or the muscular stomach. I'm just not built that way.
- afraid I won't be able to tell "real friends" and "fake friends" apart anymore. Now I know people love me for who I am, not what I look like. Why would I want to be friends with someone who likes me when I'm thin but wouldn't have even talked to me when I was fat? How will I tell who's for real and who's shallow?
So, yeah, I understand what you're saying completely... Weird, huh?
I don't have that fear as much as I have a fear of getting to goal and try to go lower and lower. I am afraid that I won't really be able to know when enough is enough.
I was overweight most of my life until about 20 years old, and I dropped (not healthily) to 130 lbs. I looked AWESOME, but I was not happy with myself, because I had lost the weight due to a lot of pain in my personal life. So even though I looked good, I didn't FEEL good. And yes, suddenly guys were asking me out and paying attention to me. But I still didn't have confidence, and I still thought I looked fat. I still hated myself.
To the poster who wondered about if her friends are real or fake.... the older you get, the more obvious it becomes. Who my real friends were didn't become obvious to me until about the senior year of college, when I met my husband and suddenly my roomate (who said I was her "best friend") got insanely jealous and went psycho. It took me about 3 years but I gradually weeded out the people who were friends with the thin me, and who stuck by me even when I gained 70 pounds (my husband being one of them). Those friends ended up being my bridesmaids because I knew, truly, that they liked me, no matter what size I was.
Beforehand, I wanted to lose weight because I found my self-worth through what other people thought of me: my whole life, it was reiterated to me that if I was skinny, people would like me. And to some degree, especially in high school, that was true. So when I finally got down to 130 lbs, I wanted to attract guys and to feel loved because I didn't love myself.
Now, I know I am loved no matter how much I weigh, and I have worked really hard to love myself no matter how much I weigh. In some ways I think it took gaining back weight (and then some) to learn to love myself, no matter how much I weigh. If you love yourself, truly, and don't base your self-worth on how much you weigh or what size of jeans you fit into, you'll find that reaching your goal weight will be that much more rewarding because you worked for it and you EARNED it.
I'm mostly scared that once I reach my goal that I won't be able to keep myself there and that I'll fall into my old overeating and binging habits again. I can't yo yo anymore. It's not healthy. I need to get this weight off and I need to get it off for good.
I also too worry about people being fake, both friends and guys. I want people to like me for me and not because of what my outside looks like.
I used to be afraid that being thinner would equal being more fragile and easily pushed around, because I play basketball and volleyball. The last thing I want to do is do anything to effect my game. But I've found out the closer I get to a healthy weight and the more I get into shape the stronger I get, and that I can focus on the skill parts of the game more than worrying about making it up and down the court and dealing with being tired. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if this is my best season ever.
I am so glad I'm not the only one. I can't really put my finger on what exactly I'm afraid of, but I definitely think that maintaining scares me. Dating scares me too, because up to now I KNOW that the men I've dated had to have done so because of my personality and not my looks. Once I get to my goal weight, I'm a bit scared about being used and not realizing it. The fear isn't nearly enough to hold me back from working to reach my goal, but it's definitely something I think about often.
I've had those fears on and off throughout this whole process, though I didn't realize that I did until recently. Once I get close to a goal or a landmark on my journey weight-wise I seem to sabotage myself. Suddenly, I'll have this urge to binge on "forbidden" foods--sometimes only once in a day and sometimes it lasts for weeks. No matter what it is, I eat enough to set myself back from my goal.
I did this just recently--my goal was 150 by the end of July. I had 1 pound to go and a week to lose it--COMPLETELY doable. But what did I do? Random act of binging that lasted for a day and a half. The result was some water weight gain (I'm on Atkins so eating any carbs will cause a water weight/glycogen gain on the scale, even if you're not gaining POUNDS of fat). Even though it's probably just water, it jumped me up to 154 only three days before my goal...resulting in not making my goal for the month.
I know now that I was sabotaging myself...I've come to a place where I've already made enough changes to know the difference. I'm smaller now--I'm being asked out by random guys for the first time in my life (I've got a boyfriend--and I've had boyfriends, but never as a result of someone randomly finding me attractive and asking me out for a drink). It's scary not to be a fat girl anymore...but it'll be worth it in the end.
to all you ladies going through the fright of becoming a new, more complete you. We'll have to face ourselves when the fat melts away--and that's the scary part Let's hope that we're the best selves we can be when that time comes.
Ugh.. I have ALL of the same fears as you guys....
A few months ago I had the epiphany that I was heading into "looking good" territory and totally freaked. I saobtaged myself for a whole month. Luckily, I didn't get bad enough to gain, but I sure didn'tlose anything that whole month either.
I think Azure is really on to something. It's time I face myself and myself doesn't include 100 pounds of blubber, lol. I may have to face a new set of social issues like getting hit on or whatever, but its worth it. I'll figure it out. Best of luck to you all!
i am afraid to i am scared of what i may become are how i may be ive been big for a while are what some call thick and i am scared i turn in to this girl who has to wear these short dressed all the time and i don't know its just weird i cant describe it
I'm afraid, but not for the same reasons. I'm so used to LOSING weight and seeing the scale go down, will I be comfortable with it just STAYING THE SAME? Not to say that I won't be happy with how I will look, I'm sure I will! But really our reinforcement is seeing that scale drop. I'll have to learn to live with reinforcement being that the scale is staying the same!
My two fears are:
1) Won't be able to keep the weight off / figure out how to eat maintain a weight (my whole life I was gaining or losing, never staying the same)
2) I am afraid that I will get within 5-10lbs. of my goal & just stop losing weight. I have heard those last pounds are the hardest & it would be so hard to be so close and not able to cross the finish line.
I'm afraid, but not for the same reasons. I'm so used to LOSING weight and seeing the scale go down, will I be comfortable with it just STAYING THE SAME? Not to say that I won't be happy with how I will look, I'm sure I will! But really our reinforcement is seeing that scale drop. I'll have to learn to live with reinforcement being that the scale is staying the same!
This is what I'm afraid of.
Well, and I'm afraid that I won't be happy at my goal weight. I can see 130 being too heavy for me. But the comments from others, seeing the scale move downwards, fitting into new clothes (I saved all my "skinny" clothes) every few weeks... it's FUN! I hate the thought of having to eat healthily just to stay the same. But I know that's a mindset I'm going to have to change. *sigh* Oh well, at least I *love* exercising!
Afraid to lose weight?
). I don't want to have to fight people off. I just want them to leave me alone in my cocoon. My lovely, fat, reassuring cocoon.
to all you ladies going through the fright of becoming a new, more complete you. We'll have to face ourselves when the fat melts away--and that's the scary part 
Let's hope that we're the best selves we can be when that time comes.
