So I'm going shopping this sunday with my two best friends who are both size 0/1 in jeans... while my butt is a freakin size 13. I'm like a danged mammoth compared to those girls.
Like many others, I've been dubbed the fat one in my group and everything we do consists of one fat joke to another and it gets real old. I don't think they get that it kinda hurts my feelings, even if I tell them so. One friend is worst then all the others, though. For example, she'll say something small like... "Here, I saved the biggest slice of pizza for you because I know how you are", or something really embarrassing. She does this thing at school sometimes where she tells someone, "watch this", and she'll say, "Hey cassie" and of course I'll ask what... and she comes up and grabs my back fat and says, "Whats this?!" and laughs. OK yeah she's really rude. I don't even know if she actually considers others or whatever but she pisses me off.
So yeah, I think I just touched a nerve to cause a small rant, but yeah.
Anyways, we're going shopping and I really wanto be able to have fun and be able to buy clothes without them making fun of the size or pulling out an XXXXXXXL shirt or whatever and being like, "Here cass, if you shed some fat you could fit into this". How the heck do I NOT let them ruin my day? I just want them to grow up and realize that even a lot of people who are in shape don't weigh a whole freakin 110 pounds.
I hate being the fat friend, sometimes I cant wait till their crappy eating catches up to them.
It`s really a shame that because they feel so inferior to you they have to pick on something as superficial as your size. You`re obviously alot smarter then they are. I know it doesn`t seem like it now but in a couple of years you`ll get the last laugh. I don`t mean to sound "flip" but I think it`s time to find some new friends if after talking to them about how much they hurt your feelings they don`t stop. Don`t let them get away with it. It`s not funny!!!!!....Kym
This girl doesn't sound like a friend. Maybe you should try finding some friends who are more considerate of your feelings. Don't worry, life gets a little easier after high school.
first off i am 38 and 247. i have had 3 kids. my friends are all moms. they are all in shape. they dress so nice . i feel frumpy when we go out. not because they make me feel that way.look grabbing your fat is rude and humiliating.you need to speak up and tell themm to stop this crap or find new friends. they need to respect you. you need to respect yourself. i struggle all the time with i wish i was a size 2. i was never a petite girl. my new neighbor moved in. she is a 2 cute and has a killer bod. she has 1 child. she is adorable .... the mom. i am envious of her. anyway i have issues. but my point is this your friends should not be brining you down. that is not what friends do. speak up so they hear you. maybe you should not shop with them if they make you feel bad. good luck. be strong
i agree, a real friend wouldn't do such a thing like that. i'm guessing she's very self conscious about herself (maybe personality wise, intelligence, etc), so she feels that she has to put you down to make herself feel better. maybe she feels that great qualities that you have, she lacks...so she uses her appearance to "better" herself. i know it's easier said than done, but try to ignore her...you're a wonderful girl, and amazing for working hard and staying determined on this weight loss journey. i say find a new friend too.
Okay...this is rediculous. I was almost 300 lbs in high school and never dealt with this...BECAUSE people who made fun of me were NOT my friends. How can you call those people your friends? Friends love you for who you are and they might let you put YOURSELF down, but would never do it themselves. They only time they might say something is if you started the conversation and they had a REAL concern for you.
These "friends" have some self-confidence issues to have to embarass you in front of so many other people.
Find new friends and trust me...you're beautiful. I wish I was that size in high school. Girl, you have curves that they probably wish they had because guys love curves. Keep up the goodwork with your weightloss and we're here for you!
If anyone makes fun of you, even a little bit, they are not your friends honey.
I have skinny friends and not once has any of them said anything negative about my weight or any one elses weight. Two of my best mates are bigger than me and I would never dream of mentioning their weight...it's just plain rude.
Note: If they REALLY cared about you and didn't KNOW you were trying to lose weight..something they might say IF they were your friend is "Hey, wanna go running after school?" or "Lets hit the pool this weekend and do some laps!". There are ways of addressing people's weight if you really care about the person without making them feel like that's what you're doing. Ya get me?
If they do know you're doing something about your weight, maybe they don't like that and are envious. There is a lot of envy in the HS years...go fig.
Size 13 isn't that big, some women have size 13 hips and some women are size 0. I think the only reason why I can wear smaller pants is partly due to genetics, but all I can do is keep my part and exercise while eating clean. Hang in there, its okay. Don't let your friends sizes get you down... those friends of yours dont seem to be very nice anyway.
I really hate to hear your story because it brings back soooo many memories of high school. I am 26 now, so not that far removed from high school. I was always the "fat friend" as my best friends were always tall & thin (hey what can I do - I'm only 5' & can't change that). Anyways, I lost significant weight & got down to around 115 & was STILL the fat friend wearing a size 6-8 to my friends 0.
Fortunately, my friends never said anything, but I still new I was the fat one. The guys always liked my friend, never me. I think it was the hardest time of my life, because I realized that high school was just hard, it wasn't my weight. When I went down to 115, life didn't magically get easier, it was still hard.
I am appalled that your friends would have the gall to say those things to your face, but they will continue to say it until you confront them. You have to stand up for yourself & let them know you are serious about not wanting to hear those comments & not play it off. I agree with others, are these girls really your friends?
BTW I would kill to wear a size 13 now, so even if your are considered the "fat friend" at a size 13, you are not fat. Life does get better after high school.
I really feel for you. Please don't let these girls get to you. How do you respond when the one girl makes comments like you mentioned, or grabs your back fat? I hope you don't laugh to go along with her or do anything like that to try to show it doesn't bother you. Please tell her how much it hurts you, and find other friends if they keep it up. How does the saying go? With friends like that, who needs enemies?
Pam
Yikes! I was always the biggest person in my group of friends, and I won't say they never joked about my size, because I JOKED about my size, and I made it clear that joking about my size in certain ways and to a certain degree was ok (but that was just me, if I had wanted them not to joke about it, I would have told them to stop, and I know they would have). My friends almost never crossed the line, and when they did I told them it wasn't ok and why it bothered me, and they were SORRY and never made the same mistake again (maybe a different one). Actually, I remember more jokes about my being the "smart" one in the group, and would get teased a little for getting such good grades, and being the "trivia queen."
When teasing is mean-spirited, or even unintentionally hurts your feelings you have to speak up, and make it clear they hurt you. If they're not sorry (aww, come on it was just a joke) you have a right to demand that they change their behavior or you will change friends.
Hi, I agree with everyone else, they are envious and it seems like if they don't stop they shouldn't be your friends. Best friends aren't people that put you down and make you feel bad because they think it's funny, best friends are like sisters/brothers. You don't have to take that and you shouldn't feel bad.
You know what too, I gained weight this past year and I would kill to be back into my 13's. I didn't realize it then, but looking back now I looked darn good and I am betting that you look darn good too!
It's taken a lot of time to realize this myself, but what everyone is saying is true, they are doing that for some other reason. Don't let those people put you down because they have insecurities. Like the others said, you have curves. A curvy woman is what a guy wants, heck it's what my boyfriend loves about me. You are beautiful and if those "friends" can't see it find someone who actually deserves your time!
Last edited by Rhighlan86; 07-28-2007 at 11:40 AM.
Reason: fixing mistakes
Sucks being the fat friend :(
Hang in there, its okay. Don't let your friends sizes get you down... those friends of yours dont seem to be very nice anyway.
