General chatter - Guess My weight




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lilybelle
07-27-2007, 02:30 PM
What do you do when someone asks you to guess their weight and "please be honest it won't hurt my feelings" ? I had this situation arise last night. My friend wanted me to guess her weight. I said "I'm no good at guessing weight" and tried to get out of it. She pressed on and I finally said "180 lbs". I knew she looked like 250 or so because she was my height and about the same size I used to be. She then said "everyone guesses me about 180, that is why I don't try to lose weight. No one can tell how big I am". Then, I felt like such a fraud and a liar and that I should have guessed honestly what I thought she weighed. Just wanted to know if anyone has had similar situations and how you handled it. Please chime in.

BTW, when I was 234 noone was ever honest with me either, but I also don't recall asking people to "guess my weight". I knew I was fat and didn't need someone else to tell me or to try to make me feel better by guessing lower than I was.


Jasmine31
07-27-2007, 02:42 PM
Don't feel bad. She KNOWS she weighs alot. It is ultimately her health and her decision to lose. I don't know how I would get out of that question though.

zoritsa
07-27-2007, 02:49 PM
I've only had a few people ask me,and only one I was honest with.The honest one was someone who I knew worked out hard...and she was thin,most people thought she weighed 120-125.I knew that muscle weighed more then fat and guessed 135...and was only off by 3 lbs.She was 138.But,I knew she would handle honesty,had a trainer,and worked her arse off in the gym.

The others...my best friends....I just couldn't be as honest.I'd feel bad either way...and do,but I guess I just feel less bad about not being honest.And as for myself...I'd never ask someone what they thought I weighed.I know I look obese and don't want someone either telling me the truth,or lying to me.


kaplods
07-27-2007, 02:57 PM
"Guess my weight," or "Guess my age," are idiotic questions. Obviously they're fishing for a compliment. Because most people are going to be afraid of offending, they're of course going to guess on the "flattering" side of the equation. Though they may be in for a surprise if they encounter someone willing to be blunt, or worse someone who really is clueless on such matters and guesses really high.

When my husband was working he had a coworker in her mid 20's who said something to my husband that made him realize she thought he was much older than he is. He asked her how old she thought he was, and she hesitated but said "I don't know, 50?" He was 36 (He has gone prematurely gray).

Robin41
07-27-2007, 02:59 PM
She should go to the state fair and go to the guess your weight booth. They're merciless.

alinnell
07-27-2007, 03:04 PM
While I've never asked anyone how much I weigh (when I was higher) I DID ask, do you think I look like I'm 173? Usually I was met with eyes of disbelief. Now that I've lost weight I LOVE to ask, can you believe I used to weigh 173? Those eyes of disbelief are great!

Lily~don't kick yourself! She set you up. It's her fault, not yours. It's kind of like the proverbial "do these jeans make my butt look fat?" type question.

Meg
07-27-2007, 03:08 PM
I had kind of the same experience .. a woman at my gym asked ME what I weigh. I told her 136 and she said: oh, goodie, I only weight ten pounds more than you do. The problem is that she's at least 180 - 190 and looks to be wearing a size 14. But what could I say to her? Gee, honey, you're either lying or you are in awful shape? I'm not sure why she asked me and then said what she did -- could she be in that much denial? Or was she trying to impress me?

Weird. Lily, I would have done the same thing as you did. Like the others said, she's certainly aware of what she actually weighs. It sounds like she just wants an excuse for not trying to lose weight. I used to play that same game of telling myself that I "carried my weight well" and "no one would ever guess what I really weigh." Who was I kidding? :lol:

lendingheart
07-27-2007, 03:41 PM
one time while i was at the doctors office... years ago... i was just a hair overweight... the doctor came in and looked at the chart and looked at me... and said ... you weigh 145 ( i think is what it was) i said yes.. she said i hid it well..... this woman is usally rude, i knew shewasnt tring to flatter

as i gained weight and told people what i weighed they still didnt beleive me, i loved it! i wouldnt have beleived them if it wasnt for that doctor who siad it first.

Denial is an ugly thing..... i have a friend that was obese, and she got down to my obese size which was 220 at the time.... and she is the same highth as me, we use to ( in skinny days ) have the same shape... well she would come home from shoping crying because some punk asked her when her baby was due and things like that.... i have never been insulted to my face about my weight by anyone but my mother ( which isnt fun).

So my denail about "hiding it well" hit home... i knew if she looked pregnant so did I.... i started really looking at pics of me and facing the ugly truth!

I think it is her own fault.... the girl i mean that wont face she is really 250... even if you put a card board stand up of someone else that is 250 right next to her she may not see it.... kinda like a reverse of anorexia, i have sister in law like that.

walking2lose
07-27-2007, 03:44 PM
Denial is a powerful thing, isn't it?

My mom tells a story of our dear neighbor, who is a sweet grandmotherly type of woman about 10 years older than my mom. We love her to death; she has been like family to us for over 25 years. She has become quite overweight in the last few years. One day my mom took some pictures over to her of the neighbor with my niece and nephew (they like to visit her, play on her hammock, etc. when they are at my mom's).

She took one look at the first picture (it was of her and my niece sitting on her hammock) and my mom said her jaw just dropped. She exclaimed, "Oh my goodness, I had no idea I was SO FAT!" She was truly astonished. She was also quite dismayed, and my mom found it interesting that she clearly did not see herself as fat at all until she saw that picture of herself.

Lily - even if you had answered honestly, it may not have clicked for the woman that she needs to lose weight. She may have to come to that realization for herself.

NightengaleShane
07-27-2007, 03:49 PM
I'm always honest when people ask me that question, and I often guess on the high end of things. I, for one, have often weighed more than what I looked.

I've asked people to guess my weight before, but not recently. The saddest bit is that when I weighed 175, I thought I was around 145-155. Boy, was it earth-shattering when I faced reality. :( I told people I weighed 145-155 and thought they actually believed me. :lol: When I weighed 125-130, people would often guess 110-115, which flattered me an extreme amount, though at a size 2-4, it was probably a logical guess. The thing is, I really, truly, ACTUALLY am big boned (yeah, it's not a fat girl excuse in my case ;)).

NightengaleShane
07-27-2007, 03:51 PM
PS: lendingheart: 145 is not overweight for 5'6". You're not actually overweight at 5'6" until you hit 155 and up, according the BMI Chart.

lendingheart
07-27-2007, 04:16 PM
PS: lendingheart: 145 is not overweight for 5'6". You're not actually overweight at 5'6" until you hit 155 and up, according the BMI Chart.

I was typing fast and didt realize what i put.... i know it was years ago when it happened.. proably 165.... i know the dr said i was overweight by a hair... she would have really loved to gripe at me for it at the time but didnt.... she got to later thou....:^:

lendingheart
07-27-2007, 04:21 PM
over all denial is ugly!

i have avoided pictures being took... video cameras and long length mirrors for years!

my son loves to watch our home videos on VHS, im useally behind the camera thank God, but while he watches them in his room i can hear my voice.... and my hubby's.... it sounds just like him, but it dont sound like me.... ( clearly it is me)

now im afraid to open my mouth in public or laugh out loud! We all have something!

lilybelle
07-27-2007, 09:19 PM
Quote "She should go to the state fair and go to the guess your weight booth. They're merciless." Robin 41

Robin, I love it, I didn't think of that. LOL.

Allison, Quote "do these jeans make my butt look fat?" I LOVE IT. That is pretty much asking the same thing. No matter what you can't answer truthfully.

This whole topic of wt. came up last night because there was a large man at our table that brought it up. First, he wanted everyone to guess his weight. My DH guessed him at 220. He then said he was 371 lbs. I guess my DH is really BAD at guessing weight cause he always believed me when I said I only weighed 180 lbs. LOL. Give or take about 50 lbs. , who can tell the difference. LOL.

EZMONEY
07-28-2007, 12:08 AM
How about..

"Oh my goodness Dear, I am horrible at guessing I always guess way too high...why don't you wait right here while I go get my scale that way we both know for sure." ;)

alinnell
07-28-2007, 12:54 AM
How about..

"Oh my goodness Dear, I am horrible at guessing I always guess way too high...why don't you wait right here while I go get my scale that way we both know for sure." ;)

Very, very good, Gary! I'll have to remember that one!

blondebritbrat17
07-28-2007, 01:20 AM
Ehh.. I hate those kinds of questions. I got asked a couple of months ago to guess someone's age and I was only off by 4 years and they got kind of huffy with me for a long time to say the least. It was annoying and childish. It always makes me feel that they are fishing for a compliment. I really do agree with the other's comments sometimes it takes like a picture to hit home how bad you look. That's what happened to me. I really don't know how to get out of those kinds of questions. But I really don't have friends like that.

almostheaven
07-28-2007, 03:12 PM
I've been asked a few times, and I say the same thing..."I'm not good at guessing weight." The only difference is, when they insist, I stick with answer #1 and don't proceed to step two. I figure its a loaded question. You're danged if ya do and danged if ya don't. They don't really WANT your opinion, they want you to make them feel better about themself. Its dangerous ground I refuse to tread.

lizziness
07-28-2007, 06:30 PM
In my household the game my mom always played and she seems to have passed on to me is the "Am I as fat as HER?" game... you see some random fat woman and ask your husband "am i as fat as that one?" and then hope he gives you the right answer....

sadly sometimes you are that fat, or fatter - and both my dad and my husband are NOT liars. *LOL*

kaplods
07-28-2007, 09:30 PM
If it comes up you could always make a sacarstic guess "125 yrs old," "2000 lbs?"

ShootingStar
07-29-2007, 07:08 PM
Quote
This whole topic of wt. came up last night because there was a large man at our table that brought it up. First, he wanted everyone to guess his weight. My DH guessed him at 220. He then said he was 371 lbs.

So was this man PROUD of his weight or something? It's funny how men can fool themselves that it's "muscle". Sure... 150 lbs of muscle... :mag:

maalisse
07-30-2007, 03:23 AM
I used to think I "carried my weight well," too, because everyone always balked when I told them my weight.

Then, I realized that a lot of people I know seem to have this mindset:

85-100 lb = underweight
100-110 lb = slender
120 lb = muscled
130 lb = a bit pudgy
150 lb = fat
200 lb = SUPER OBESE

...regardless of height. :lol:

Of course, the number of overweight women who put 120-130 on their driver's licenses probably don't help dispel this myth. ;)

Denial is a funny thing.

lilybelle
07-30-2007, 12:23 PM
Kim, yes he was proud of his 371 lbs. and even said "I have a brother that weighs 280, but he's flabby not muscular like me and he looks awful". Umm, this man was definitely not muscle. Of course, no one told him that. He had boobs bigger than I do. Sometimes I think really big men don't see themselves as Fat, but even a slight extra weight on a female to them is seen as FAT.

nelie
07-30-2007, 12:39 PM
Lily,

Maybe you should point out to this women that to some women 180 is seen as absolutely huge. I think it is partly the fact that women have distorted body images but also the compuslive lying of women as a whole. I've seen the weights listed of average (not the anorexic looking ones) actresses where they say their weight 110. For some reason, 110 is the magic number. I am sure those actresses weigh as much as 160, depending on their build and muscularity but still they can't admit it.

I've overheard skinny girls talk about people and say "that girl is huge, she must weigh 200 lbs".

Who knows? I'm not good at guessing weight but if I did, I'd try to guess true. I'm pretty good at guessing age although I scared myself recently at almost guessing the age of a girl my age and I thought she was 10 years older. I'm glad I didn't touch that one.

ennay
07-30-2007, 06:32 PM
For age I ALWAYS guess 23....there is rarely anyone who doesnt like 23. People younger than 23 want to be older, people older generally want to be younger. People outside that possiblility generally laugh and get the hint. If they dont then I tell them the truth..."I ALWAYS guess 23"

So...what is the perfect weight...lol. I think if you dont want to be honest then be blatantly ridiculous.

denial...my dad had a scale at his house. He always tweaked the calibration so that his weight never changed. When we moved him from PA to OR he got mad because the scale changed. I remember dd was 4 months old then and I weighed about 170 and his scale had me at 150.

almostheaven
07-31-2007, 12:41 AM
Of course, the number of overweight women who put 120-130 on their driver's licenses probably don't help dispel this myth. ;)

Denial is a funny thing.
I always listed whatever my last weigh-in at the doctor's was. Course, there was really no hiding it. No one would've believed I was 130 lbs. LOL But the driver's license comment reminded me of when I flew home for a visit after I'd lost over 100 pounds. The lady at the airline counter kept staring at me and my license and my husband had to explain to her my weight loss. She ran off to the counter next to her and started showing my ID around and pointing back at me. ROFL!

mom2cole
07-31-2007, 08:11 PM
I hate those age, weight questions. A lady I work with was talking to me about something and she said "since we are close to the same age" and I knew she was about 44 or so and I am 27. I started to think, I must look OLD! So when we were talking about age again, I mentioned I still hadn't hit my 30's she had to ask my age. But it worries me, I don't want to look like a forty something at 27!

ennay
08-01-2007, 11:29 AM
I hate those age, weight questions. A lady I work with was talking to me about something and she said "since we are close to the same age" and I knew she was about 44 or so and I am 27. I started to think, I must look OLD! So when we were talking about age again, I mentioned I still hadn't hit my 30's she had to ask my age. But it worries me, I don't want to look like a forty something at 27!

she is probably in denial about her own age, i am:D

Janny O
08-01-2007, 04:31 PM
" Exit-Stage Right!!!" when I hear that question....."sorry-real busy, gotta go!!"

charolastra00
08-02-2007, 01:28 AM
I'm always tempted to ask people how big they think I look but I'll never get a straight answer. I think I look MUCH bigger than I actually am :P The only person who has ever guessed was my doctor, who overshot by 30 pounds. Ouch. Some people can carry their weight well. I flop it all over the place! :P

BlueToBlue
08-03-2007, 04:10 AM
I hate that question and I never answer it. For one thing, I really truly am terrible at guessing how much people weigh. I just have no idea. So I usually just say that I'm terrible at guessing weights. If they persist, then I just say, a little more seriously: "I'm not going to guess your weight, let's move on to another topic," or "Let's not play this game." If you flat out refuse to do something, most people won't challenge you further on it. I use this approach with a lot of things that people try to pressure me into.

Lily, I think you were right to guess low. If you had guessed high, I doubt it would have changed her perception of herself, it just would have made her made at you.

Amy8888
08-03-2007, 12:13 PM
Honestly, I've never been asked that and I'd never ask someone else to guess my weight. It's all very strange to me. I think even when I was at my lowest adult weight and proud to be there, I kept my weight a huge secret.