I am a 43 year old stay at home mom of a 4 year old who is so frustrated with my weight. I didn't have my son until 3 weeks before my 39th birthday after 9 years of marriage (I never went for fertility treatments because I was always up in the air about being a mom but figured if it happened it happened). I had high blood pressure during pregnancy as well as gestational diabetes that I successfully controlled with diet. After my son was born I swore that I would get healthy and try for another baby as soon as possible. Now here I am 4 years later and I weigh more than when I was 9months pregnant :( . I feel like it is too late for my dream of giving my child a sibling yet I am also aware that it is my own fault for not getting myself in shape. I would really like to connect with other moms who have had children later in life or mom's with just one child who wont be having more.
07-01-2007, 07:39 AM
Hi Judy.....Except for a few details I could have written your post! I had my one and only at 38 he is almost three. I had problems with high blood pressure during pregnancy also and although I never tested positive for gestational diabetes I had to really watch my sugar intake and because my babe was so large I was tested numerous times for it.
I believe I weigh about the same as I did just before I gave birth:( I started losing weight as soon as I had him and was feeling fairly good even though my recovery from my c-section was slow I was walking, busy and eating well. When he was a year I started doing a dayhome to two other toddlers, 45 hours a week and I seriously think this is one of my largest obstacles for wieghtloss and only gave me excuses for eating unhealthy and finding no time for excercise. It seems a catch22 situation....No time to eat properly so snack and drink cofee to much during the day, too tired for exercise at the end of the day which only contributes to my feelings of exhaustion and I spend so much time cleaning in the evenings there is no time for planning my snacks/food....Now it is two years since I started the dayhome and I am at the largest I have ever been:mad::(
I really want to stop with the excuses and get on track and feel like this :carrot: once more.....
07-01-2007, 08:52 AM
You know, I just wanted to reply in this thread to offer a little bit of support. I do not have preschoolers, but I have a teenager. Isn't that the same thing?? ha!
But, I am 43, so I can relate to that and to your stories. But let me give you this advice... read and post here at 3FC often. We all need support with these issues and there is plenty of it here. You can do it!!!
07-01-2007, 07:58 PM
Hi! I am a forty three year old with a three year old, thirteen year old and a twenty one year old. I pretty much weighed the same at the end of my pregnancy that I did at the start- because I pushed so hard to eat healthy and walk due to the risk factors. I started out around 228 and at my six weeks check up I was 205.
Needless to say I gained all the weight back in the wonderful "veil" of motherhood and breastfeeding on demand. It was just really tough compared to the other two. My little bundle of joy did not sleep and when she did I needed to be a Mom to the other two kids
.After this Christmas I realized I was more than my pregnancy weight. So I got it together and lost the weight. I am not tiny by no means but a work in progress.
The working out is harder to do with both of the kids under foot during the summer. The 13 year old has ADD and learning issues. The three year old thinks she should have Mom's time. I put workouts on the back burner for the past three weeks. I am determined to figure out a way to do small weights, resistance bands and general work out during day light hours. It was easier when my son was in school.
My big food help is to have the stuff ready for my salad or snack. I can cut up celery, carrots, squash or cucumber for salads. I boil my eggs ahead of time for several days. Fruit is cut up for not just me, but for the other two. I make up Sugar free Jell-O with fruit cocktail three boxes at a time in three different size cups. Chicken breasts are usually cooked or grilled so that I just have to cut it up to get big protein- which translates into not being hungry as much.
I don't want to have anymore. I love the idea of having my little one late in life to do everything better this time- as I am not rushing around being 30 something. I was so young with the first one I didn't really know better. Now there are things like groceries and cars that work- with the other two kids we were always stressed.
The thing that the weight loss got me to do was force "me time" into the picture. It sounds selfish and horrid- but I really was a bleak person at 231 pounds. Exercise and diet got me liking myself again and the smaller body suddenly gave me a sense of self confidence.
Spend the time figuring out what you can do to get healthy even if it is 30 minutes of a walking tape or planning better snacks. What if you put planning or prep one night a week ahead of cleaning? Sometimes I tend to be a bit over organized- but after three kids I figured out that the cleaning will always be there- every night. By the time you catch up on laundry a new pile has started. It's not that I am a slob- it's just how I look at things.
I could ramble on and on- I know it sounds really hard but I had to change myself and the situation to make it work. Hopefully I can make it work for another 40 pounds and into “maintainers”.
07-01-2007, 08:07 PM
Just wanted to chime in. I'm 44 with an almost-4 yr old and last year I was resigning myself to being the mother of an only when I got "knocked up". I brought my baby girl home 2 weeks ago tomorrow. No fertility treatments, it was meant to be, but followed 3 miscarriages in a row. As several of my high school classmates have kids graduating from high school themselves this year; I do get the odd comment or look here and there - oh well.
There are lots of us older moms. It's our choice and aren't we glad we have so many options these days? My Mom's best friend likes to remind me that her grandmother gave birth to her father at 52 years old and that was 100 years ago; so it's not necessarily only because it's the 21st century!
Let me know if you want some links to other boards for older moms. I find them very comforting when I start questioning my life choices (like 2:45 am last night). I wouldn't give my kids up for anything and I would have been a lousy mother 20 years ago (personally, not all 25 yr olds are).
07-01-2007, 09:05 PM
Hi . I'm a 43 year-old stay at home mom with a four year-old too . love to chat sometime. :)
07-02-2007, 02:29 PM
Wow I haven't had much time to check in all weekend but just came back to so many great responses! I am so glad to connect with all of you and if any of you want to pm me please feel free! I have resigned myself to just having one but I will admit that a second child is always in the back of my mind. Kim, I can also relate to your statement about being a lousy mom 20 years ago. I know some great younger moms and envy them a little but personally I was too immature for motherhood then.
07-02-2007, 02:30 PM
PS Kim congratulations on your new bundle of joy :-).
07-03-2007, 10:10 AM
I'll be 42 this month and have a 3 and 5 year old.
Married late (at 33) and never "tried" , just took what God gave us.
Didn't realize that meant an extra 75 pounds. Not to mention menapause.
07-07-2007, 01:44 AM
I'll be 40 here soon and I have a 3 year old boy, the love of my life. I lost the baby fat after gaining 80 lbs with him then sat on my butt all winter and gained 25 or so lbs overnight. So here I am again, my boy is my main motivation to stay fit - so I say - but I won't want to hit thte 40 year old birthday overweight. I've read so many stories here of women who are now fitter in their 40s then 20s even so I'm going to get more serious about weight training... as for babies, I'm a single mom and I was having regrets the other day of only having one. I can't imagine being pregnant again but I had a mini dream of doing the sperm bank thing or adopting. Is it hard to get pregnant in your early 40s? It's hard to accept my fertile days will be over here soon. Of course turning 40 is a landmark filled with ups and downs. But I'm going up here, getting more fit, losing weight, trying to stay positive...
07-07-2007, 08:31 PM
I'm 41 and have a 3 year old myself, not to mention a 16 year old and a 14 year old! My 3 year old is from a second marriage to a man that never had kids before, so he's his "only" and going to stay that way. I'm done! I love my kids more than anything in this world, but it's time to call it quits!
I actually got pregnant when I was at my highest weight ever of about 265-270 and didn't really gain much of anything during the pregnancy. I ended up at 272 a couple months after giving birth. It wasn't until a little over 1 1/2 years ago that I decided I had to do something about my weight. I ended up losing 90 pounds, but have since gained back 14. I have got to get back to it! I got so close to my goal and then quit. I'm so frustrated with myself.
Nice to know there are others out there having kids later in life! I feel like the only one sometimes.
07-08-2007, 04:26 PM
Hi everyone! I don't usually post over here, but saw this thread and thought I'd pop in and introduce myself! I'm 41 and have a 7yr old and a 2yr old. I am just now getting down to close to my pre-pregnancy weight with my second one. I only gained 14 lbs throughout that pregnancy, lost it all before coming home from the hospital, then gained 40 lbs. UGH. I want to have more energy for my kids, and be able to get on the floor and play with them or play frisbee or take them to the pool.
It's been a bit of a challenge getting my daily exercise in, but I just strap the little one in her stroller, and tell the 7 yr old to get his scooter and off we go. The baby's not always thrilled with being stuck in the stroller. We either walk around the neighborhood, or to friends houses, or to the lake or the store. Sometimes we take the LONG way to the 7-11 and get the kids slurpees. The 7-11 is only 3 blocks away, but I walk 1.5 miles to get there. LOL. It's the getting out there and walking everyday that's important. I just ignore the little one's whining about being in the stroller. I figure this is important and she'll just have to deal with it. We often all walk to the local schoolyard after dinner and play frisbee or kick the ball around. We're working on ways to be more active as a family.
07-09-2007, 08:25 AM
I'm 41 (42 in Oct) and I've got a 2 yr old (going to be 3 in Aug).
I LOVE being an "older" mom. Like Kim (Ottoette) said, I'm a much better mom now than I'd have been 20 years ago.
Plus, I'm now "refocusing" my life in a way I didn't expect.
My daughter deserves a mom who's as energetic as a 20something. So, instead of plopping down when I'm tired (like I had been), I've decided that's time for us to "go do" something. (My 2 y/o is my only, so I don't have the additional need for attention feeds to other children.) Kidlette is helping me to be more active and do "fun stuff."
Of course, I go to bed at 8:30-9pm...but if you're getting up at 4:30-5am, that seems logical, right?
It's good to be a 40 something mom.
07-09-2007, 01:20 PM
Hello :-). I am 41 with a 3 yr old and a 17 yr old and an 18 yr old. My 18 yr old decided to make me a grandma and then decided she couldn't raise him and now I am. So at home I have a 19 month old, 3 yr old, and a 17 yr old. between my dh's excellent cooking and having a baby and the stress I have packed the pounds on. I need to lose 60 pounds, but right now my goal is 10. I look forward to getting to know others my age :-).
07-10-2007, 04:09 PM
Hi, I'm 45 with a 9 yr old and a 3 yr old! Married late, wasn't sure we wanted children at first, DS1 came along with no problem, then 2 miscarriages once we started "trying" for DS2, and just when I'd given up hope, along he came, when I was already 42!
Because of the m/cs and comfort eating, I was much heavier than I would have liked when I was expecting DS2, they suspected me of having GD and at all my scans the sonographer "complained" about the thick layer of fat he was trying to scan thru!! :o
That's partly why I'm trying to get my weight back under control now, to be a mummy who can run round and have fun, rather than one who sits on the park bench all the time...
ITA that no way was I ready for children in my 20s, but of course most of my friends have 20 yr olds now... feel like I'm in a bit of a time warp.
I work full time, DS2 has been in full time daycare and is just about to start maternelle school in Sept, he just can't wait, and he'll be in the same school complex as his big brother.
One thing I find really hard as an "older" mum is not having my parents around like my younger friends do. Their kids go off and stay a whole month with granny, or a whole weekend every couple of months... ooh I get SOO jealous of friends whose parents come and help out!! My parents have both died (in their 80s) and tho my brother and sister have DS1 to stay sometimes, it's not the same sort of relationship as my boys would have had with their grandparents. I grew up without knowing my grandparents, and I'm sad my boys won't know theirs either.
Nice to chat with other "time warp" mums!
09-05-2007, 04:07 PM
This is really funny. I posted on this thread July 1st, 2 weeks after DD was born. Then last week I started the other thread because I completely FORGOT about this one! LOL at mommy-brain!
How's everyone doing? Older kids back in school now - no excuses!
09-24-2007, 12:40 AM
I posted on the other thread but will do so as well here....Hi everyone I am 42 and I have three children ages 15, 14 and 4. I had my hands full with two kids when I was younger so was not interested in having any more children but then DH and I decided if we are going to have another we better try, the following month I was pregnant. My weight issues revolve around pregnancies, everytime I get pregnant I gain between 60 and 80 lbs and then have a tough time getting the weight off. First go around with first two children I decided when dd was 3 I had to get the weight off took about a year but got it off and pretty much maintained wl until got pregnant with last child. Since giving birth my weight has been up and down but last year it climbed to all time high for me so I decided time to lose this weight again. Alot harder this time since I hit the 40's have lost 30 lbs in 9 months but need to lose another 20 to 30 to reach goal weight. I am starting to get lot's of energy and feel great though. Nice to have others with same issue going on.
10-23-2007, 04:26 AM
I'm 48 and I have a 10 year old and 5 year old twins. I met my husband when I was 32 and had to go through years of fertility treatment. I had given up having any more when I was 42 but hubby asked me to have one more go and the rest is history. I put on quite a lot of weight with the pregnancy as I felt soooo sick throughout the whole thing. The only thing that helped at all was eating carbs.
I haven't been able to get the weight off. I lose half a stone then put it back on again, then do it all again and again. To be honest, I have found the last few years hard going. All my kids are intelligent, confident, boistrous and noisy. I have no idea what its like to raise a child who is happy to just sit still. I also found abandoning my career very difficult even though I know it was important for us as a family for me to do this. I have done some part time work (mostly from home) since the twins were a few weeks old and although this has kept me sane on the one hand, it has increased my stress levels on the other.
Don't get me wrong, I love my kids more than anything in the world. Its just been harder than I thought it would be although I personally don't think it has anything at all to do with age. I'm much happier now. The kids are calming down and my career, which I thought was dead in the water, is showing signs of springing back to life. In many respects, I feel just as I did 20 years ago. The only thing that I feel is holding me back is my own attitude to my shape. I can't stand feeling this way. So, I'm going to have yet another go. As I type, I am waiting for my new cross trainer to be delivered!
When I had my eldest at 37, I thought I would be the oldest mum at the school gates. At 42, with the twins, I "knew" I would be. I was wrong both times. There are loads of us! Good luck to everyone with the weight loss.
10-23-2007, 02:05 PM
HI all - I just joined this group today and couldn't resist this thread -
I am 45 and mom to a 4yo daughter and a 13yo son. I didn't gain much weight with my daughter - ~20lbs total and lost it pretty quickly. Not sure what happened but a couple of months later I gained 12 lbs in about 6 weeks - my doc said it was 'cause i'm now "over 40". I have been steadily gaining for the last 4 years and now am 30 lbs heavier than before she was born. I, too, find it hard to find time to exercise. Sometimes all i can fit in is a walk around the block with my daughter. hard to power-walk when you have to stop and examine every leaf, bug, nut, etc. along the way!!
Nice to know there are others out there in the same boat as me!
10-26-2007, 11:01 PM
I'm a 45 year old mom with two children, ages 8 and 12, but I still have the same sense of "when can I get enough time to myself to really eat well and get into great shape?" that I had when they were younger. Yikes!
I've finally gotten past their slowing me down on walks, etc., and as a matter of fact both kids and my dh just "trained" for a 1 mile fun run last weekend. But I've gotten so out of shape (and now I have achilles tendonitis so I can't run without injuring it more...) that I've let them do their exercising without me, and I've been taking that time to work on house cleaning.
I'm very active in our local school system, so weekdays when the kids are at school I usually am, too, which leaves evenings and weekends to do all the house cleaning that needs doing. I'm determined to change that starting tomorrow morning, though. I'm going to do my achilles stretches and ride my bike or walk BEFORE I start heavily into house cleaning. And I'm going to eat healthy foods just til I'm satiated. No cleaning up my kids' plates even if the food they left behind is delicious!
I'm walking the Disney Half Marathon in January and haven't started getting ready for it yet, so that training starts tomorrow, too. I'm determined. Is anybody else going to really go for it between now and the new year?
10-27-2007, 10:12 PM
I'll be 46 in December -daughter #1 will be 18 in December-daughter #2 will be 15 in May and daughter #3 will be 4 in May also--been married 20 years--luckily--I have a very supportive and YOUNGER husband--lol
Nice to know you're all out there--Julie
10-31-2007, 11:26 PM
I am 47 and I have a four year old and a six year old, both conceived naturally and 22 months apart in age.
11-11-2007, 11:19 PM
HI All I have a 3 yo
She is very supportive on my diet LOL
She says mom you want this cheeton, you cant have it your on a diet
& then laughs LOL
11-13-2007, 10:39 PM
I'm 47 and had my last baby right around my 41st birthday, I can totally relate to the problem with finding the time to plan and eat right and exercise yada yada Other mothers have done it, so I know this is partially a denial technique.
I've struggled with avoiding the kids tasty treats and have fallen off of my plan so many times that I'm ashamed to show my face here. BUT, a few weeks ago I settled on just a few basic foods that I can eat and I'm not straying from them. Its working. The teens are very supportive and have never complained about my size, God love 'em. The younger kids are a little clueless, but that's probably a good thing because I don't want them telling everyone I'm on a diet :o
12-21-2007, 10:51 PM
Glad to know I'm not alone. I got pregnant with number 3 on my 40th birthday. Biggest surprise I ever had but also the best birthday gift ever. He just turned 5 and will go to school next year. My other 2 are 13 and 15.
12-27-2007, 11:26 AM
I had my fourth child three days before my 43rd birthday. I also have a 27 y/o daughter and sons 25 & 22. My four year old has two nephews(my grandsons) who are both two. I LOVE having another little one around-he keeps me young!
12-29-2007, 05:50 PM
Hi. New here and saw this post. I am 42 and have a 16 yr old daughter and a 20 month old daughter. Both are a result of IVF and in between the two I had two babies born dead at 22 weeks (also invitro). Between all the hormones and the depression, etc, I've put on over 100 lbs. I need to lose weight badly to keep up with my girls!!
Look forward to support system here.
12-31-2007, 02:17 PM
Welcome Becky! I'm so sorry for your losses, that must have been very hard. I want to lose to keep up with my kids too!
I look forward to getting to know you better,
12-31-2007, 10:11 PM
Finally - people to relate to! ;) My daughter is 9 months old, and I'm 41. This is my second go-around, as my first set of kids are 18, 16, 14 and 12. I can honestly say that being a parent in my 40's is easier, but losing weight in my 40's is almost impossible. I was 29 when my 12 year old was born, and kept that weight off. I was 40 when this little darling was born, and now 9 months later, the weight is still there.
Thankfully, (or not) I have a 12 year old daughter, who is now the food police around my house! I told her I was going on a diet, and that once I'd lost the weight we'd go bathing suit shopping. She's a huge help with the baby, and follows me around with a notebook writing down everything I eat.
I just signed up for weight watchers online (as I live in rural Alaska and getting to meetings isn't always possible) so two days into this and I'm actually getting excited to wear my old clothes again. Hopefully. And of course the new bathing suit...;)
Plus, my oldest graduates in May, and I'd like to be skinny for his big day.
My problem has been living here, especially in the winter, it's dark most of the time. Dark and cold. So cooking, sleeping, eating are big parts of the day. It's too cold to take the baby out for walks, too snowy to really push a stroller, the moose are around, I have a ton of excuses...
My teenagers eat like horses, so I'm always making something for them to eat, having food on hand for them, it's hard not to eat as well.
But, it's almost the new year, and time for the old me...:)
Good luck Ladies~!
01-01-2008, 08:50 PM
Hi there! I am new to the site. I am a 43 year old SAHM to a 5 year old girl and an almost 4 year old boy. About a year and a half ago I was in the best shape of my life, but through compulsive overeating and bingeing I find myself back up 35 pounds. I go to the gym just about every day, but my problem is being consistent with food. I am ready to get the weight off and keep it off for good. I hope to get to know some people here so we can help each other be accountable.
01-03-2008, 11:52 AM
I am about to be 40 and have a two year old. I also have a 7 and 10 year old. I am very devoted to my kids and husband. I often put their needs before mine. Needless to say, I have neglected myself and am now fat. Something I swore I would never be. My mom was fat my whole childhood and I hated the fact that she wouldn't go do stuff like go to the pool. I won't allow myself to do that to the kids. I am pretty active. I love to walk and play tennis. I am always taking my kids places. My biggest problem is overeating. It is hard to find time to exercise with my 2 year old.
I love being an older mom. I have patience and no longer sweat the small stuff. I may even try for one more child. Losing weight is a priority for me because if I do conceive again I want to be healthier. I have already had 3 c-sections and the last one took a while to recover from. I am thinking of joining Weight Watchers online.
Loved hearing from other moms in the same boat.
01-07-2008, 12:43 PM
Hi everyone, I'm new here. I'm 40 and I have a dd that will be 4 in a few weeks. I'm single and she's my one and only. I'm also an only so I really wanted to have more than one child. It's great to see some older moms on here because I really thought that this was the year that I needed to decide if I was going to adopt again. Viewing people's stories here I still have a couple year before I have to make that decision. Even though I didn't give birth to my dd I swear I gained "baby" weight! I started Jenny Craig in September to force myself into some type of plan. I needed something really structured. I've lost about 15lbs, and now I'm ready to move onto my own plan. It is hard with a little one to find time to exercise, although I know that's just an excuse. Mygym offers free childcare and my dd loves it. She is much more eager than I am to go to the gym. I've been trying to introduce more movement into my daily routine (ex: doing "laps" around work; running up and down the stairs at home; take micro-breaks at work and so sqats, lunges, isometrics whatever as long as I'm moving). I've been surprised by the impact of these small additions, but I have not been consistent with them. I'm working on consistency in both my eating and my activity level.
Good luck to everyone!
01-11-2008, 12:47 PM
I'm 43 also, had my daughter at 39. I managed to lose my pregnancy weight, and then slowly gain it back, now I'm about as heavy as I was when I gave birth!! I am doing weight watchers on line, in week 2. Boy, I eat a lot!! Being at work is much easier than being at home, so I sympathize with you. At least at work, you can only eat what you brought from home :) Anyhow, I am new to 3FC and look forward to these forums.
02-12-2008, 05:26 PM
Hi, I'm in this boat! Two preschoolers, so the kitchen is filled with things I wouldn't buy if I were by myself (cheese, chocolate milk, juice, you know the list)
Of course the kiddos eat sensible portions, I try to give them balanced healthy choices, but they do get occasional treats. If I did what I wanted I would eat the whole box of <insert any food here> instead of just a serving.
How can kids ask/beg/plead for something and when you give it to them, they have one small bite, and then they don't want anymore ?!
02-19-2008, 01:39 PM
How's this for fitting into this thread: 48 years old, 3 boys, 8, 3 and 50, 2 jobs, 30 extra lbs???
Livin' the dream.....:)
02-20-2008, 03:22 PM
I'm 43 and married with two children 8 & 11. I go to work then come home and work. I love being a Mom but I really thought I would have more patience because I'm older. Not. I think I lost it somewhere back in the 30's.:D
I know what you mean HiHoHiHo!
I keep healthy food options in the house (fruit and veggies) but I still buy my kids snack cakes, chips, ice cream, etc. It does make it harder losing weight and knowing that the sweets are in the cabinet. The kids waste so much food! I don't want them to have the "Finish everything on your plate" mentality but I'm always finding snacks laying around with one bite taken out of them. Here I am trying HARD not to eat everything on MY plate.:dizzy:
My goal is to set a good example (which includes good eating habits) for my kids and stop this yo-yo dieting I have done in the past.