[luey]

Hey everyone. I've been trying to change my diet and exercise habits for good for about two years, and I'm about 30 lbs lighter than I started out. That's the good news.

The bad news is my new BF. The old BF was hard to diet around in an extremely annoying way (constantly asking me if I think I "should eat that". Grrr!), but at least he was supportive.

The new BF isn't very supportive at all. He's not unsupportive, he's just kind of - nothing. He thinks I look fine the way I am, and doesn't really understand why I think I need to change. He wouldn't MIND if I changed, but doesn't get why I want to. He's also about 40lbs overweight, and all he does is eat! This morning he ran out to get doughnuts for breakfast, and now he's talking about pizza for dinner. He also does things like eat half a block of cheese in one sitting.

I don't think it's fair to ask him to change his eating habits, since this is my life choice, and not his. We're also in a very stressful situation at the moment (living in a hotel paid for by our company), and so I don't want to introduce another reason to argue. But it's so hard to maintain self control when he's planted next to me eating nachos swimming in cheese and sour cream. How do I deal with this?

[bargoo]

You don't have much left to lose to reach goal. It is just not possible or reasonable to expect others to change their eating habits for our benefit.

[JayEll]

Well... what are the chances he would change? And if he didn't change, would you stay with him?

Jay

[seranab]

Hmm I find your concern pretty puzzeling. The reason that is (I'm not trying to be judgemental) is that I would be more concerned at the fact that he's clogging up his arteries with cheese, and eating all that salt and sugar - and that the nutritional value of his food is 0. You seem to be more concerned with the way its affecting your diet. Sometimes when I see my husband trying to eat something that I know is absolute crap - I tell him about it. Not because I'm concerned about how he looks but I want us both to be healthy, and I dont tell him because it makes it easier on me, but because now that I've been losing weight i've been doing a lot of reading and really delving into nutrition and weight loss and the damage too much "bad" foods can have on your body.
I dunno... I just find it a little odd that you're more concerned with his affect on you but maybe thats because I'm looking from outside of the box. Good luck and congratz on your weight loss!!

[Gamerchick]

You have to acknowledge that no matter where you might be there's gonna be temptation with foods, and that you have to stay the course of following YOUR decision. It's hard...but if you don't want those foods, don't eat them. If you do, then have them in sensible amounts. Know what you want and keep to that.

[MAMA2CHUNKEYMONKEY]

Why don't you try separating your foods. Make sure that you have plenty of healthy, low-cal snacks around for yourself, and ask him to please respect what you are trying to do.

[lynnm39]

I know what you mean. My husband (of 17 years) has never had a weight problem and eats exactly what he wants (he doesn't like nachos and chips, however; he eats big meals). When I'm trying to watch my weight, I actually have to cook two separate meals. For example, if I fry chicken for my husband, I'll grill it for me. I'll grill veggies while he eats pasta. However, I won't tell you it's easy. My food usually looks really good . . . until I compare it with his. It's hard to resist chicken parmesan and ravioli in favor of a grilled chicken breast and salad. Most of the time, I succeed in resisting, but not always. Sometimes, what works for me, is having just a small portion of what my husband is eating and filling up with some veggies on the side.

Originally Posted by seranab

I just find it a little odd that you're more concerned with his affect on you . . .

I'm not sure that's all she's concerned about. All I know is that is the concern that she voiced here--probably because that's the concern that's relevant to the issue of weight loss. We all post our struggles and that's hers, so I can't fault her for that. Also, speaking from my own experience, you can only do so much to watch out for the well-being of your spouse/significant other. I've encouraged my husband repeatedly to cut down on the butter, eat more veggies, etc. (again, he has no weight problem, but I'm concerned for his health). However, he's a grown man, and he intends to eat what he wants. I can't change that (I do buy organic foods, so at least that helps).

[seranab]

Originally Posted by lynnm39

I'm not sure that's all she's concerned about. All I know is that is the concern that she voiced here--probably because that's the concern that's relevant to the issue of weight loss.

No I agree with you totally - thats why I was saying that its easy to look in from outside and come up with an easy solution or read/understand it in a different way.