Okay, I'll probably sound like the most awful person ever, but here goes. Anyone close to someone who's had bariatric surgery? I am. I live with my sister who had gastric bypass back in December and she's lost about 105 lbs in the past six months. We now weigh about the same amount and it is immensely frustrating. I'm happy for her, I really am. The choice to have the surgery was the best one for her and it has greatly improved her health. at the same time though, I'm tired. I'm tired of thinking about what I can eat and how much. I'm tired of thinking about all of the things I won't let myself eat, and I'm tired of spending hours and hours a week in the gym. I've had to literally work my butt off to get where I am. Its no joke losing 85lbs the old fashioned way. I guess I'm jealous or envious, or whatever, that it's been so easy for her, when it's so hard for me. She'll probably hit my goal weight before I do. Anyone ever been in a similar situation and felt the same? Or, am I just a whiny brat?
I don't think you are whining, I think you are being honest. I can definitely see how that would drive me crazy!! But, think of it this way -- you are learning the habits you need for life -- she probably still has a lot of work to do in that area. Have you talked to her about it? I'm sure she knows you are happy for her, but as your sister I bet she would understand a little resentment too -- she's your sister, maybe a little chat would help you feel better.
I guess it is a touchy subject on this board, considering there are people on this board that have had the same surgery you are talking about, and they probably dont think it was easy for them. but I have to admit. I would be VERY envious. I would have the surgery in a heart beat if i had the money. I, like you, have to do it the "hard way". I admit, i put those that have had surgery in the same "cheater" category that i put people who use prescription diet pills. I know a lot of post surgery people would disagree wtih me. But it only stands to reason that it is easier to lose weight that way, otherwise, those people that had surgery would have been able to lose it "the hard way". I am bitter about the ones on the board, i cant imagine if it were my sister. I would be extremily jealous. I try to look at it this way though, at least you can enjoy a thanksgiving dinner if you want to. From what i understand, she will never again be able to actually eat a good thanksgiving dinner. She will have to have a bite of this and that. Plus, working out at the gym like you do, adds benifits to your health that she is not getting. And to me, there is a certain pride in knowing that you did it "the hard way". If people hear how you lost weight, their chin drops. You get total respect. If she tells people how she did it, they are thinking, "oh, she cheated", or that is at least what I think.
There are always risks with surgery,and some have had the surgery and regained weight. you can avoid those risks by doing it the old fashioned way.Do you really have only 10 pounds to go? I haven't had WLS surgery but I have had other surgeries and believe me surgery is not pleasant.
I think you might find she's actually jealous of you having the willpower to work your butt off and achieve it by yourself. I cannot imagine anybody choosing to have surgery if they could avoid it and her life has been altered to a silly degree whereas you can carry on as normal, just healthier. I'd much rather be you.
My sister also had gastric bypass back in 2005. She lost close to 100 lbs very quickly. At the time, I felt a little bit of jealousy and a lot of pride that she did that. It also kind of catapulted me into starting to lose weight in some way. The surgery wasn't easy for her. It was painful and took several weeks to recover. It improved her health in a good way, she no longer has sleep apnea for one. BUT, I’m not sure that she really made a lifestyle change out of it. She has gained back some of the weight (just guessing – I would say close to 40 – 50 lbs) she lost and really doesn’t want to face reality right now.
I have a work colleague that I saw for the first time a few months ago. She looked great, had lost a lot of weight, and I told her so. She told me that she had just had the lap-band surgery and complimented me on losing weight also. A third person overheard us and mentioned something about how great we both looked. She replied that I had done it the “easy” way and that she had done it the more difficult way. Our meeting started at that minute so I couldn’t respond right then. Afterwards, I shrugged it off and thought it funny that we both thought each other had done it the “easy” way, because, yes, I do think it would have to be easier if you didn’t feel hunger.
Anyway, there is really not an extremely easy way for anyone to lose weight. If I were to be completely honest, there are some people here who lose weight extremely fast that I am a bit jealous of. As with my colleague I just have to shrug it off and keep plodding along, doing the best I can for myself and hoping they do the best they can do for themselves, however they do it.
Well I just have to voice my thoughts on this too...
I have a friend that had it done... she has lost a lot of weight and loves to rub it in everyone's face, especially those of us that are doing it the old fashioned way. She has become very vain and loves to email pictures to all of us, but the funny thing here is that she has all new friends now and those of us that have been her friend thru the whole ordeal are now her "old" friends... so old that we are not even invited to her wedding this coming fall... but she still loves to send us those pictures!
I get an email every now and then from her and she is normally complaining about her "health" problems since the surgery, she has been in the hospital many times and due to the fact that she has not quit smoking they may have to remove part of her stomach and have the surgery done all over again. I no longer show sympathy, I may not be a good friend but I am tired of hearing it and since that is the only time she talks to us I have lost my sense of caring about the whole thing
I think that my frustration and anger comes in that she basically cast off those of us that were there thru it all and while a few of the old friends are not on WW or any other plan and may need to lose a few pounds or like me, they are on a diet plan and struggle every day to see results, some how she feels like she is better then the rest of us now.
My best friend has hers done about 3 years ago she lost over 100 pounds and looks great, but I do understand what you mean I am jealous of her to, she looks great even though she will always struggle to keep it off she looks great. I looked into it but couldn't get insurance to pay for it even with knee and hip problems. I go places with her and she buys size 6 & 8 and I am trying to fit into a size 18. I am happy for her but you do get jealous and wish that it was you instead. Not a bad thing just makes me want to try harder. She is my biggest supporter when it come to weight loss and she is always watching what she eats cause she is scared that she will gain it back.
I know how you feel been there and still see her every day and get jealous.
I,m with you, I would be very P'd off that she seems to be doing it so easy.
But you on the other hand you have learnt a lifestlye change. One that you can keep to for the rest of your days. and working out at the gym is keeping your insides looking good as well,
85lb's WOW you are so good!!!!!
You keep going girl, and remember that great feeling when you get out of the gym and feel so alive.
Mary
Oh, I'm not quite so sure I'd call any kind of surgery an "easy" way. There can be irreversible problems with WLS, and I've seen a woman lose weight only to "re-stretch" her stomach and gain about 50 pounds back.
Watching someone drop 100 pounds quickly, though, I'd be a bit envious as well.
I have to say a huge "THANK YOU!" To all you ladies who have responded. I don't mean to discredit anyone who had the surgery, because I know how hard it is to lose weight and keep it off, but it's nice knowing that there is someone out there who can sympathize with how I'm feeling and offer such encouragement to keep going.
well Imsexydamit (<--love the name!!!!). I am a fallen Weight Watchers leader. I was in your shoes about being tired of thinking, thinking, thinking all the time about food and portions ad naseum! I decided to let it all go an POOF....the chunky fairy rained all over me and I'm back to square one.
Remember this is YOUR journey -- and although it may seem a bit easier for your sis, who knows what she's been going through in her mind? To have to live every day not being able to even splurge a little for the repercussions of pain or even gaining back the weight must be a horrendous burden.
I have a friend that lost her weight very fast (extreme dieting, pills and of course basically eating NOTHING.) She was not very nice, she still isn't nice, but damn she looks good on the outside. She harps on about her diet, diet, diet and I really could care less, because the path I chose is MY path.
You have done amazingly well! And yes dammit it takes hard work. But you did it ALL BY YOURSELF!!! No one did this for you. YOU DID IT! In my books that is something VERY admirable and shows that whatever comes your way, you will be able to handle it! So what if you still have a bit to go? You made it this far -- need I mention again -- ALL BY YOURSELF! You are the one that stuck to program and followed it! That type of dedication and devotion is hard to find in a person and is something I admire. I know how tough it is -- but the incredible satisfaction you get from doing it on your own will feel even way better than getting to goal weight! You are an inspiration to us all!!!!!
Dillema
