General chatter - am I being unreasonable?

View Full Version : am I being unreasonable?

05-22-2007, 10:33 AM

My husband and I have plans to go out to dinner with two other couples this coming Saturday night. Neither of the other couples have children (we have one son who is seven) My mother in law offered to take care of Matthew.

Anyway, I was really looking forward to actually eating out in a restaurant as a couple-no offense to our lovely child! The last time we went out to dinner alone was nine months ago!

Anyway (sorry to ramble) now it was suggested that we just order pizza and hang out at the couple's house that lives near the restaurant. I was asked my opinion, and I said I would go along with everyone else wanted to do, but I did prefer going to the restaurant. I also told my husband that if we did just order pizza (yes, I know all this food is off plan!) that I want us to go out alone in the very near future. I'm also not comfortable at this couple's house because they have these very small, rickety antique chairs, and a small love seat and I'm honestly afraid of breaking something. The furniture is so fragile and uncomfortable! My dh has said the same thing, actually.

My dh is now acting really pissy, saying this is why he doesn't like to make plans. Hey, don't ask for my opinion if you don't want it! All my life I've been told to speak up because I'm too shy, but whatever I do, this happens. I don't want to be the one to make everyone change their plans, but I want to do what we originally planned.

Am I making a big deal over nothing? I just wanted an adult night out, which happens so rarely.

Thanks for reading my whining!


05-22-2007, 10:51 AM
My Opinion?

Just you and your husband go out. I love doing that!!!

canadian mom
05-22-2007, 10:55 AM
You and your DH go out and maybe stop by for coffee to say hi afterward. You can just tell them the truth that you were looking foward to going out to a real restaurant but you would lovr to join them later if possible. If they don't like it too bad you cannot please everyone all the time and you should please the most improtant people you and your DH. IMO.

05-22-2007, 11:18 AM
I agree. Just you and your DH go out. Have a great time. I know you probably wanted the company of other adults, but take the chance whenever it comes for "adult" time.

05-22-2007, 11:36 AM
I would be upset too! You spend all this time looking forward to going out and having a nice night, and then it's not only taken away but you are criticized for not being thrilled with the change of plans? You deserve to have a night out, and you deserve to have your opinion taken seriously.

05-22-2007, 11:57 AM
I like the idea of stopping by for coffee after eating at the restaurant, but if your hubby insists on going over during pizza time, maybe you could either bring a nice big salad with your own dressing and just have that (you could eat something more substantial at your house before you go so you aren't starving even after salad) or stop by a restaurant and get something to go to take there that is healthy (a portion for yourself)?

05-22-2007, 12:22 PM
Maybe he's pissy because he doesn't want to go there either. I'm in agreement with everyone who said to go out for a nice meal at a real restaurant with your husband. As an alternative, perhaps inviting everyone over to your place some other evening would be good - you'd be comfortable, in more control over what food you are eating, etc.

Stl Nell
05-22-2007, 11:00 PM
Well - it all depends how good of friends you are. If it was close friends, I could say what you said (so you do get to state your opinion), but if everyone wants to have pizza at the couple's house - be cool with that - b/c it's more about the hanging out with friends than where - imo.

ON THE OTHER HAND - you need to get out more than once every nine months! Then, you wouldn't have so much riding on this one thing. Believe me our $$ is tight, but every once in a while I get a sitter (or parents, or "trade babysitiing with my sister), so DH and I can go out. Even if it is to somewhere free or cheap - but especially for dinner out!