Weight Loss Surgery - Another Strange Q from ME!

Hey guys i have a question:
Did you notice that your husband/bf/gf/wife basic loved ones behavior to you change post WL? I'm wondering if my DH finds me less attractive without the weight or maybe the saggy skin is a turnoff. Just curious.
Thanks
Kier

No matter how you lose weight some husbands/SO , friends, etc may act different to you. Many times they feel threatened that you may look attractive to some one else.





o
o

There is a link between other peoples feelings and your sucess. Some friends will stay some will feel threatened. My wife is VERY insecure since surgery. Why I do not really know. I am a FAITHFUL loving and caring DH....

You know..... as much as my DH wants me at a healthy weight.... and he is very very happy when I lose weight, I can't help but think he wants to keep me on the chubby side. I think he worries about other guys looking at me :shrug: He knows I have a horrible addictive sweet tooth but will continue on the weekend to bring chocolate in the house. I've told him not to in the past but then I feel bad b/c he diets all week long (he's thin) and he treats himself on the weekends to what ever he craves.

He doesn't treat me different.... he loves me the same, thin or heavy...but I do think he doesn't want me at goal... :shrug: dunno, maybe I'm wrong.

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Mike. Your wife is now jealous because you have new relationships mostly with women, because women make up the majority of weight loss surgery patients. And you've no doubt told her that she cannot understand what you are going through...that only these other women can. She is probably particularly jealous of your mentor woman friend because that woman was so into spending time with you even while you were in the hospital and your wife was driving all those miles in snow to visit you. Shes a jealous woman anyway and now there are alot of women that you communicate with other than her. She feels out of the loop and as if she no longer matters when the fact is she has loved you all along no matter what and never even cared that you were overweight. Well, thats my thoughts but what do I know...I'm only your wife. LOL.

Oh and also MIKE. Your wife cares about you tremendously and is proud of you and has been there for you every step of the way and even found you this forum!! She knows that you need support wherever you can get it and wishes she could do more for you than she already does. She has had her own weight issues in the extreme other way and knows about psychological damage that people can inflict on others that they think are not ideal. She DOES understand. She just wants your concerns to be hers while at the same time realizing you need others to suppliment your support. She remembers how you won her over just a scant five years ago by your sparkling and optimistic personality. She needs that to be continued and directed towards herself still. If the shoe were on the other foot you would see. But for now believe me that she loves you with all of her heart and wishes and supports your ongoing success!!! :hug:

I knew my DH was going to change. When I lost weight on my own about 14 years ago (70 pounds lost), he thought I was going to leave him and he was extremely jealous. He was always trying to sabotage any weight loss efforts I was making. Constantly bringing home all the things that would make me cheat on a diet. He would make me feel guilty if I didn't eat them- like he was doing this very loving thing and I was ignoring it. When I decided on weight loss surgery, especially after my health started going down hill, I sat down with him and had a talk. I reminded him about his behavior the last time I lost weight and assured him that it was going to be a tougher change for him than it was going to be for me. I even brought the subject up with the psychiatrist I had to see pre-op. He suggested that I make my DH a part of the process. From that day I always included him at every opportunity. He went to the doctor visits pre and post op. He was at the hospital holding my hand the day of the operation. He has been helping me by making my meals and making sure that I am feeling OK. I think knowing that I was willing to risk my life to have the surgery made him think seriously about his behavior. He is showing a bit of jealousy, but he has been very supportive in every other way. He walks with me on the weekends and wants to go everywhere he can with me whenever I leave the house. We have really opened the lines of communication and I feel much better about that. I have noticed that my gifts have gotten way better- I now get nice jewelry on those special days- I just got a gold/opal and amythest necklace and matching ring for Mother's Day!! I get a lot more hugs and kisses too. Yes, I do wonder if having a thnner wife has brought out all this affection, but I was thin before I was fat and he is now a little older and wiser. I'm not complaining one bit!!!