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Old 05-08-2007, 04:30 PM   #1  
Meg
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Default "Before" Photos

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Last edited by Meg; 12-13-2016 at 07:02 PM.
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Old 05-08-2007, 05:08 PM   #2  
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I haven't looked lately. But I did ... there's one in my profile here at 3FC.
I feel ... relieved, younger, prettier, healthier, afraid, stupid, ashamed.
I'm not sad ... mostly I feel that I wasn't very bright.
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Old 05-08-2007, 05:33 PM   #3  
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I do feel sad. I feel a lot of sadness.
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Old 05-08-2007, 05:48 PM   #4  
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The only pictures I've seen of me at my highest weight are from our 6th grade awards assembly. I saw them at my friends house and I was surprised at how I looked because I didn't feel like I was fat at the time-I lost weight because I saw that my bmi was in the overweight range when I went to the doctor. So the only thing I thought was "Wow, I really looked like that?" but that's about it.
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Old 05-08-2007, 07:39 PM   #5  
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I avoided the camera almost as much as I avoided the scale. So I have few before photos. But I did take a couple right before the start of my journey. For this very purpose in fact. I wanted to have that all telling "before" shot and I wanted to document the way that I had looked for so many years.

Just the other night my DD made me take some "current" photos. I did. We put them side by side. It was very emotional for me. It was the before shot that did me in. I couldn't keep the tears from flowing. It's so odd because in some ways it seems that that was sooo long ago, when in fact it was less then a year ago. I felt much the same way as Meg. I felt that person looked so sad and unhappy and I thought to myself, "Why in the world would anybody want to live that way?" It was almost as if I was looking at somebody else. Could that have really been me? Then of course I snapped out of it, realized it was me, and many emotions and bad memories came to the surface, the misery and horror, the worries, the inactivity and yes the embarassment and shame that went along with it. Just looking at the picture made me think of all the missed opportunities this person had to endure. All the wasted years.

Although that before shot felt like it was ages ago, almost as if it wasn't really me at all, my current shots also don't feel like me. I look at them and I see somebody who isn't morbidly obese. She looks perfectly normal and regular. She looks like she leads an ordinary life in an ordinary body.

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Old 05-08-2007, 08:47 PM   #6  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meg View Post
And a wave of emotion sweeps over me, a combination of sadness and all the feelings I used to have about myself - despair, shame, embarrassment, misery. I feel so sad and sorry for the person in the picture. She's like a stranger ... but she's still me.

Yes. Me too. But, I also feel such anger toward my past self, for not being able to get things together enough so that I could have had a normal weight childhood. But, for anyone who has read my story in Goal would understand that was no easy undertaking. I shouldn't feel anger, because so much of it was beyond my control at the time, but that doesn't stop that irrational feeling from coming up.
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Old 05-09-2007, 11:33 AM   #7  
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When I look at my fat pictures it gives me motivation to stay thin. I keep one on my refrigerator so I have to look at it everyday. I will never be that fat, angry, depressed person again.
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Old 05-09-2007, 01:57 PM   #8  
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As a person who didn't go through life heavy - was pretty normal weight until I was in my 40's - I don't have the emotional component when I look at my before photo. And I didn't "see" that overweight person in the mirror - only in photos, which always shocked me! It was a photo of my DH and I, plus his 2 siblings and their spouses that really motivated me originally. Now, my two SILs are TINY women, both around 5' and 115-120 pounds. I am never going to be that little, but it sure made my 5'4" 240 pound self look a lot bigger! I soooo do not want to go back to being that person. ( I do also recognize that I'm always going to look bigger than my SILs, but hey, what can you do? )
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Old 05-09-2007, 02:16 PM   #9  
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I still see my family photo with me(at 234 lbs), DH and my kids every day. I didn't take it off the wall. When I look at it, the reason it makes me sad isn't just the weight aspect. It's the fact that I was so sick , and so miserable in that pic. I was just letting life pass me by. I felt helpless and hopeless at that time. I want to have new family pic's taken, but until I do, this one will remain up.

That photo seems like it must have been yrs. and yrs. ago, but in fact it was less than 2 yrs. ago. OTOH, it makes me happy to see the pic and thankful that I don't look or feel like I did in that pic. anymore.
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Old 05-09-2007, 02:51 PM   #10  
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Just a little over a year ago, when we were dancing on the world cruise, the photographer took a photo of us. I remember feeling thin that day because I had lost at least 15 pounds from my highest point. And I was very happy because Peter was visiting me on the ship for the African segment.

That photo is now on a table by the mat where I do my daily floor exercises. I've since lost another 40 pounds. I still have trouble believing that I had been that big. I was in denial for so long. My outlook was that I was 'ok' with the weight because I was mentally stable. I knew I was overweight. I knew how much I weighed. I just didn't register how much I really was overweight, if that makes sense.

I am very fortunate not to have the emotional effects of the weight that so many of you have. I wasn't upset because of my weight or embarassed or shamed or angry or sad or depressed. I was happy that I wasn't depressed or manic or hearing voices.

But, I'm much happier now that I have lost the weight and can do more with more ease then when I was heavy.
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Old 05-09-2007, 10:00 PM   #11  
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My wedding pics are up in the house and I bet I weighed every bit of 280 lbs in them. It was a very happy day in my life, and I looked happy, and it brings good memories. And yeah, I was fat, but not every moment from back then was miserable. I have sort of come to peace with most of the "before" pics, although a few of the most unflattering candid ones make me cringe a little.

One of the things I've learned over the years is that it is important to be at least as nice to myself as I would be to a friend, and I'd never tell a friend, "boy what a fat, ugly, out-of-control slob you are!" No one deserves that, and it was our "before" selves that started the process that got us to where we are, and "they" deserve a little credit. Sometimes I see the pictures as an opportunity to practice that discipline of being nice to myself.

Mostly the "after" pictures shock me. I often don't recognize myself, even to this day, after years of maintenance.

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Old 05-09-2007, 10:25 PM   #12  
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Wow, I haven't looked at my before pictures in a long time. I looked at them today and my reaction was basically "is that me?" If I didn't remember having the picture taken or the situation, then I think I would've doubted it. Crazy. I did have a pretty emotional reaction and I've never had that before.
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