40-Somethings - 44 and fat and depressed and stressed and overeating and overdrinking and and and

05-02-2007, 12:15 PM
I am 44 almost 45, I went from 125lbs to 214 in 2 years. It is even more depressing because I lost 70lbs to get to the 125lbs. I was fine eating the way I was, it was a lifestyle to me, but people started telling me that I was getting too thin. Then I went through a couple of depressed episodes and then I just gave up I guess and I started gaining weight, I started drinking too, making my weight gain even worse! I am struggling now to stop that as well as the OVEReating. I used to look like my avatar and I want to look like that again! I am hoping that telling on myself to others will help. I used to do tae bo which I LOVED and it helped me to lose weight. I haven't done it in 2 years, now I am so fat that even when I start to walk on my treadmill my knee starts hurting. Being a student all day makes matters worse, because I am either sitting at school or sitting at my coffee table studying. I only really take the time to make a family meal or change over the laundry. I know this needs to change... I just can't seem to get motivated............................. H E L P :dizzy:

05-02-2007, 12:55 PM
Well, I'm not the authority on the subject, but I'll give you my 2 cents. I think you just have to take baby steps. You may not have time or energy enough for a full tae bo workout, so take a 15 minute walk. Do that every day this week, then take it up to 20 minutes next week, and so on. You might give your knees a chance to build up before trying something a little more challenging.

When I first started coming here to 3FC, I had talked about how busy I am, how there is no time for me, etc. I don't remember who it was, but they basically asked me what commitment I had to making this work. She went on to say that if it is important enough, I would find time to make it happen. I think I needed someone to slap down the excuses I had and make me face up to the work I needed to put into it.

Then, come back to 3FC often to read and post. You will get the support you need. It's a great place!

05-02-2007, 01:11 PM
I shall try to do 15 min on my treadmill today, thanks so much for writing me back.

05-02-2007, 01:29 PM
I've been a member of 3FC for over a year and I JUST NOW see that there is a 40 something's thread! How funny is that!

I'm 44. I too, had lost a considerable amount of weight and was down to 128. People told me that I was too skinny (but I sure loved being that size!). But it was hard to maintain and I bounced up to around 135 where I stayed for several years until stress took over. My weight shifted up to the 150's and then I became complacent and didn't do anything right--I ate too much, I drank too much, I didn't exercise at all. Next thing I knew, I was 173 and miserable. So I know how you feel. But, I'm also here to tell you that you are not at the end of a rope. You can turn around and you can lose the weight again.

Sit yourself down and make a plan. Decide what your goals are (is it to lose weight, to get healthy, to lose inches, a combination?). Make a chart to record your weight, your measurements (take them all now!!!) and record what you eat every day. You can do these on paper or on the computer, but just do it! Set realistic goals--maybe just 10 pounds at a time. Decide how you plan to go about it (one particular diet over another, or calorie counting, or just a healthier attitude toward eating). Then do it! You know you can!

Good luck to you.

05-02-2007, 01:45 PM
Thank you, I will try to take my measurements and do the charting as you say. I don't want to though, When I signed up here this morning, I weighed myself and found I had gained ANOTHER 5lbs and am scared of my measurements................................but I will try. You guys are great and I am glad I joined. I have cleared off the treadmill and plan on doing at least 15 min right now.... thank you thank you thank you

05-02-2007, 02:38 PM
Make sure to come back and post how it went. Don't worry about getting discouraged, we all do, and you need to talk about it. Soon you'll be talking about all of your successes!! I thought it was going to kill me to make it through the first week. (evidently, it didn't!) I'm still not up to doing everything I want to do, but I've improved over the past couple of months. It's getting better all the time.

05-02-2007, 02:59 PM
Thanks so much Diane, I got on the treadmill just a bit ago for 15 min and my knees feel pretty good, if they still feel ok tomorrow I will go on for 20 min. I ate some mashed potatoes & butter though before I got on which didn't help, but it's a step in the right direction. I haven't taken measurements, I am afraid to.... thank you so much for the encouragement! ELizabeth

05-02-2007, 03:02 PM
I went through something VERY similar. Lost 62lbs on WW and maintained my goal weight for over 2 years. I went through a very depressed and down period and my whole life pretty much apart - I gained everything back (thank you binge food, alcohol & Effexor) and then some.

If you still have issues with depression, please talk to a doctor or counselor to help you through. If you just can't get motivated, start with baby steps. Take a walk for even a few minutes every day. Set small, attainable goals like drinking all your water (or not drinking alcohol on weekdays, for example) one day and eating all your fruits and veg the next.

Journal your thoughts, feelings, triggers, everything. Reach out. So many people are out there and know how you may be feeling and they want to help. 3FC has a blog section here - you can start a blog and write everything you do and feel to get through each day :)

We are here for you!!!

(my parents live in Rio Rancho... how funny to see you live there! don't worry, you are still anonymous... I'm in the Netherlands anyway!!)

05-02-2007, 03:25 PM
Hi Renee, thanks so much for your encouragement. I'm sorry you went through what I am going through, but it's awfully nice to know someone else did the same thing! It's amazing how fast it comes back on the minute you stop doing what you are doing. I will try to start a journal.... that is so unlike me though. How funny you have family in Rio Rancho. Small world sometimes. How did you get to the netherlands? Did you used to live here?

05-02-2007, 03:37 PM
Hey! I'm 49 (turn 50 on July 4th), and have been up and down the scale like you! Still struggling at this time at 312! I agree wholeheartedly with what everyone's saying in this thread, and just wanted to add that I understand about the sore knee thing. It makes it extra hard to get going on a walk when it hurts!

Anyway, my friend is heavy, too, and she purchased a recumbent exercise bike. It's the greatest thing since sliced bread (as my dad likes to say)! :) She has rheumatoid arthritis especially bad in her feet and knees and it has let her be able to exercise faithfully with very little suffering.

Just another idea...

Take Care!

05-02-2007, 04:04 PM
Hi there Elaine, thanks for the encouragement. I really couldn't afford a recumbant bike, but that sounds like a great idea. I sure wish you well on your trek to loose weight. Have you learned any good "tricks"? Elizabeth

05-02-2007, 10:44 PM
Hi, Elizabeth! Oh, Lordy, can we talk about learning any new weight loss tricks!? I believe I've tried every trick in the book, starting at about age 13 when my best friend talked me into eating nothing but a can of sliced mushrooms for lunch at school for days on end! It' really kind of funny, although pathetic, how many things we try! And really, it's just not fair that our friends aren't cursed with the gene that helps us to store fat so easily in case of a famine, is it? :) (I really wish I had another talent besides that one!).

The best luck I've ever had losing weight was on the 12-step program in Overeaters Anonymous and the "Weigh Down Workshop" program. Also had quite a bit of luck with hypnosis. I'm not doing much for myself these days, since our son's been having seizures now for about 3 l/2 years. It seems to take all my time and attention to help him. But, soon I'm going to gear up and either start a 12-step group here in town (as some other posters suggested), or use the new hypnosis set I recently purchased.

Do you seem to have a hard time finding the time to focus on yourself? I really don't think I'm making an excuse about this, but maybe I am.? I just keep trying to remember to take it "One Day at a Time" like they say in OA. Life seems so overwhelming at times, but it's a little easier when you don't worry about things that may happen tomorrow!

Guess I'm rambling, I'll sign off. I wish you much luck and success in your weight loss efforts!


05-03-2007, 12:01 AM
Hi Elaine, you are so cute :hug: I have had my crazy tricks too.:dizzy: The way I lost it last time was to each a piece of cheese in the morning to start my metabolism then I wouldn't eat a meal till dinner. I would eat like a handful on nuts or another piece of cheese when my stomach got to growling and then I would eat whatever I wanted for dinner (before 6 pm) I noticed after awhile that I needed to eat another piece of cheese or some milk before bed or it would take me a long time to go to sleep. It was killer at first till my stomach shrank, then it was easy. Everyone said " you need to eat more than that" but I wasn't starving myself and what I ate was good for you food. I didn't get to eat much for dinner cause my tummy was small, sometimes I would eat like a 1/2 a subway sandwich or something when my husband wanted to go to lunch with me. Some people find it weird that I would go to lunch with them and only eat like 4 shrimp or nothing at all. So I would try to order a meal and just not eat it all so they didn't feel bad. I felt GREAT... but it is KILLER to get to that point and I wish so badly that I never stopped eating like that! Oh well too late now... 85lbs later :( Yes I TOTALLY understand about not taking the time to take care of ourselves. We get so absorbed by our family that we never really think about ourselves. I know that is wrong, I know we are supposed to take time out everyday for ourselves, but I don't. There is just TOO MUCH TO DO!!! I feel guilty taking time out selfishly. Wish I had a male mentality and could lay around the couch all day and not feel guilty. I wouldn't lay around the couch but I might join a gym, I won't do that now cause it takes too much time out of my day to use it. I have a treadmill at home, I found one in a garage sale for $75, it's not a fancy one, but it's not bad and when I am able to run again, it should be fast enough. I am proud of myself today, I used the treadmill for 15 min, but I ate like "I was going on a diet tomorrow" if ya' know what I mean. Now who is rambling :dizzy: Have a wonderful evening and I'll chat with you later, Elizabeth

05-03-2007, 12:45 AM
Hey Elizabeth
Honestly, journaling can really help you find:
1) what works
2) your triggers
3) your emotions vs. non-hungry eating
4) your progress in black and white
5) friends who have somewhere to go to support you :)

I've been in NL for 13 years. I'm actually originally from Alamogordo. My family's been up in Rio Rancho for about... I don't know 10 years? Some of my family has been in Placitas for a good 25 years but we are all from Alamogordo originally.

all the best to you~ whatever you decide to do to get back on track I'm sure there are lots of people wanting to support you :)

05-03-2007, 11:58 AM
Hi Renee, I started a blog this morning, I hope it will help me to do better. I even measured myself... oh my gosh!!!!!!!!!!! how awful that was.... it made me almost want to quit and forget it... but i didn't :carrot: I got up on my treadmill instead :carrot:

05-04-2007, 08:10 PM
I totally understand the depressed, fat and overdrinking thing as I sit here at the computer with a glass of wine! LOL I think I used to blame the antidepressants for the weight gain as well as the depression. Well, I was depressed before when I weighed 118lbs too. So, the only thing that has made me feel better at all is a bit of exercise. Yeah, I do know how difficult it is to get motivated. I joined a gym 1 year ago with a friend. She lost 25lbs and I have gained 10lbs. I would wake up late and not answer the telephone when she would call to "motivate" me to work out. When I did go I would only burn 100-200 calories in an hour doing cardio. Then I'd eat 1000
cals after midnight in addition to my daily calorie intake. (I am a restaurant manager that works at night). Well, 4 weeks ago I decided I needed to do something or end it all. Since then I joined 3FC and have loved the support. I have also been going to the gym 3-4 times a week and burning 700-800 calories a day doing cardio. My friend and I are going to start yoga next week. I feel so much better. Don't know if I have lost a pound since I haven't weighed myself in 10 years but did today for the first time. Aagghh! 20lbs more than I thought. Don't look in mirrors much either!! Well, anyway, I think the only success I have achieved thus far is the exercise high. It's a start and am looking forward to weight loss success with the help of all my 3FC buddies. Hope you can get to a point where you can enjoy that high too. It can happen as I have experienced. I also can't say that a bit of wine once in a while is a tragedy. Be kind to yourself. Cheers!:hug:

05-04-2007, 08:31 PM
Hi there "Roxy", It's nice to hear from you, I KNOW the reason for our weight gain is alcohol, which is REALLY hard to stop when you are a depressed person. I too am a depressed person and I know that the medication I took for awhile didn't help with the weight gain, in fact it hurt... badly... but I have stopped taking them for about 6 months now and am still gaining so I must blame it on the drink.... I haven't drank in two days then tonight I broke down, I'm sittin here with a vodka & oj, so cheers to you also. I used to drink wine... totally understand.... I did however exercise today and it made me feel better that I didn't give up totally today. I also understand about the high you are talking about. I used to get it when I used to run when I weighed alot less. I want to get there again.......... I WILL get there again........ Maybe we can get there together? You are right about the support here, I have found alot of support. I am glad to have found you :) have a great evening and I will chat with you later, Elizabeth

05-05-2007, 10:24 AM
Elizabeth, all of us have been down your same road. It is the reason we are all not size 4!

Basically, what has been said has been the only way to go. I have found that the new portion size snacks are a God send. Who would have thought that 3 little cupcakes, love the carrot cake ones, can be as satisfying as a whole cake. The chocolate ones are to die for. So that has been my mission is to see that a little can be good.

Good luck to you and us all :hug:

05-06-2007, 06:38 PM
Hello Elizabeth. Thanks for the kind words. I have been told about the weight gain issues caused by antidepressants by my doctors. I am just going to work harder to drop the pounds and stay with the pills for now.
I had a pretty good weekend. Had a date on Friday night which was strange since it is the first time dating since I have gained 30lbs. Didn't honestly think anyone would be interested in a fat middle-aged me. Glad I was wrong. I did drink a bit on Friday night since we went to dinner and had wine. Only had one Corona for Cinco de Mayo and no nachos!!! It's nice to back out there in the world and receiving a bit of positive attention.
Back to the gym tomorrow. Hope your weekend was fun.

05-10-2007, 04:55 PM
Gosh, what to say? I've read through this whole thread, and I'm sitting here at my desk at work and I can feel the tears forming at the back of my throat (swallow swallow) (and I hardly ever cry)! Lawsclan and all the other women here…I've never had the courage to admit to anyone else what you've been talking about, but I've "identified" so much with what you have all been saying. I've been in (am deeply in) the same boat as you, and while I know I'm not unique, I've never meet any women who seem to have the same issues as me, and I've been feeling so very alone. Lawsclan, you did a courageous thing, facing your nervousness of measuring yourself. Just think, you've done it! That's one less hurdle to jump over. I'm 45, and I am way overweight. I have been depressed for a long time, and am currently taking quite a high dose of Effexor. Plus…..I adore my white wine. All I want to do when I get home is get some relief from the feelings of stress and tension and sadness. I'm 5'6" and weigh between 195 and 200. Oddly enough, I know I look really fine, thin even, at 160, which is strange because all those charts say a woman of 5'6" is overweight at 145. I WISH! I am not fine boned, so maybe that's it. I'd like to get down to 145.
You have inspired me to try again. I'm gearing up (mentally) to take a walk tonight with my dog – usually I walk in from work, drop my bags and start cooking. Then there's the dishes, the bills, the laundry, my 3 daughters to deal with (not that bad, they're great young women), my mom who has been ill – and the irresistible lure of finally plopping down on the couch with that glass of wine and a movie.

05-12-2007, 01:26 AM
Hey Sandyj. You too have proven to be courageous. I am now sure we are far from alone with our depression and weight battles. As much as it seems impossible to feel better reaching out to strangers, it is such a relief to be able to get on line and know that others understand.
I spent my only day off in 14 days on the couch today, trying to motivate myself to go to the gym or even walk around the block. Nothing so far. I guess I will try again tomorrow. One day at a time huh?
I have faith that we will all be ok since we are making the effort to talk about things and that is a huge step.
Have a good weekend.

05-13-2007, 08:10 PM
Thanks, Roxy, for your reply. You are all right, this is a really nice support group. I've been busy all day, would you believe....cleaning my kitchen! Sounds depressing, but it's not. It looks so nice and I feel good. I wonder if that counts as excercise? Well, I was up and down on a stool, cleaning shelves, cleaning the windows, the top of the cupboards and fridge, and then down the floor. I certainly worked up a sweat. I have tried very hard last week as well as this week end to just focus on what I'm eating and drinking. I haven't got a diet to follow really, I just want to eat healthily and enjoy good things in moderation. This week I am keeping a log of everything I eat or drink. I also started a blog, Oh RubyJean - that's me! I gave myself that name years ago as a joke, but it stuck in my head. I think of RubyJean as the woman I am on the inside.

05-14-2007, 01:59 AM
Great job with the cleaning binge. I know what you mean. Once you get into it the cleaning can be a terrrific workout. Keeps your mind off food too.
I was keeping a food and exercise journal up until last week. It really does help and they say you are more likely to lose weight if you record all that you eat. I haven't done it in the past week because I only worked out one day and ate indiscriminately. The truth hurts, especially if it is in front of your face on paper. Back to the old grind again tomorrow.
I am also not on any prescribed diet plan. I figure after all these years of every diet on the planet, I know what to eat and not to eat. I eat bc of many other factors than hunger. Bet most of us do.
Keep up the journaling and thanks for the motivation to clean my house.

05-15-2007, 09:12 AM
You gals are an inspiration. Maybe it's something to do with the 40s or the high expectations we lay on ourselves. I've been in the same boat. One oar in the water and wondering why I keep going around in circles. This Jan. I read an article about resolutions, it said to make a long term goal and mark it on the calendar. That's where I came up with my weight loss goal. One pound a week, one at a time. My problem lately had been quitting after a few weeks or a month or two. Now I have that looming on the calendar in Nov. Last month I only lost 1 lb. the whole month, but this month is going better. I think we are weak when we're in our low points and that's why we quit. If you can just stick it out when you're not as successful, the successes will come. Laws, you'll be glad later that you took your measurements, I wish I had, now I have nothing to compare too. That can be an awesome non-scale victory, in fact that book "you on a diet" tells you to go by your waist size not the scale for getting healthier.

I too have been a member of 3FC for quite some time and never really looked at the 40s support group. This site is so great, I'm very thankful for it. From support to recipes and even my silly weight tracker. It all helps.

I'm a big (pardon the pun) proponent of exercise for fighting depression. It helps so much. I try to do just a little bit more, not too much because if you hurt yourself then you're screwed. Mini goals to reach your long-term goal which should be mostly about better health.

Speaking of which, my WW leader is always talking about doing what you can keep doing long term. She's always telling us if you're eating something you don't like just because you're on a diet you're not going to make it, you need to learn to eat less of what you do like. So, keep that in mind. I've done the "eating only a tablespoon of peanut butter and sugar free jelly on lite bread" diet and although I lost a bunch of weight it came back.

I'm trying to create a new healthy lifestyle and the weight is coming off, slowly yes, but I think it's going to stay off this time. Lots of luck and good wishes. Just remember ~ don't give up! Just get back up and try again.

05-15-2007, 12:30 PM
kelijpa, your post is full of practical "do-able" ideas. Thank you so much for weighing in (do not exuse the pun)!
I didn't take my measurements as I proclaimed to myself that I would, so, thanks to your encouragement, this is what I will do todoay. I will also dust off my little weight icon thingy.
Today has not been so great. I wasn't feeling good yesterday, maybe a touch of a tummy virus. I am also feeling so very tired, but I think it may be just work stress. I have called in sick today from work, and I slept late. I plan to have a nice bath, just now, and pull myself together. I have my laptop at home and all the technology to work from home, and as a measure of self discipline, I plan to do that and accomplish something.
But....before that, I WILL take those measurements, and I will take my darling girl Shelby for a walk. (Shelby is a golden retriever).
Thanks all you ladies for your inspiration.!

05-18-2007, 03:31 PM
Hi, Elizabeth (and everyone)! I'm somewhat new here and I, like pretty much everyone else, used to be small (120 lbs - I have tiny bones) and gained a lot of weight. I also, unfortunately, adore wine and love to cook. My main problem, though, was getting motivated. For the life of me I could not get motivated! Finally I saw or read something that suggested that step one is to exercise - don't try to make such huge changes all at once, if you're having trouble with motivation. So that's what I did. I started lifting weights, which isn't so burdensome to me. After a month or so I added some light aerobics. I got on the treadmill and was shocked that just trying to jog for ONE MINUTE nearly killed me! So I worked on that. This was only last month - then I got onto the coolrunning website and also fitday and started tracking what I was eating. So...today I can run 2 miles, am lifting heavier weights than I ever have and am sticking with a food plan. The funny thing is - once I got started, the rest was comparably easy! Sticking with the food plan is surprisingly easy. I've only lost 10 lbs, but at least it's in the right direction. So this is a loooong winded way of saying that I agree with Diane that thinking in terms of baby steps might be helpful. I know it's really tough when your knees ache from walking -but just do a little bit each day and soon you'll be doing more.

P.S. - the second hardest thing was cutting back on the wine. I try to limit it to the weekends...not always successfully :D

(Update: just got on the scale and finally broke my 10 lb plateau - so now I'm down 11 1/2! :carrot: )

http://www.3fatchicks.net/img/bar-retro6/slider-lifter2/lb/180/120/170/.png (http://www.3fatchicks.com/weight-tracker/)

Janny O
05-23-2007, 04:34 PM
You know what-WE 40 somethings ROCK!!!!!!! I'm glad we have a thread to come to!!! I'm sick of hearing that it's so hard to lose weight after 40-HOGWASH...... keep up all of the good work ladies.....!!!!

05-23-2007, 07:01 PM
Have you thought about counting calories? Diet and exercise together bring better results.

Lizzy Gourmet
05-26-2007, 01:48 PM
Ok , not to be a drag or anything but the booze? it's a dead end. I have been sober for 5 years and it was the [B]best[B]move I ever made.Booze breeds depression, it's like chasing your tail. Your up for a bout a half hour then down, the rest of the night your looking for that dose of optomisim you had with the first drink!
This all leads to hunger , lack of motivation and greater depression.I don't know many people that want to get on the treadmill when they are depressed and depleated of energy! I'm here to help sister!


06-03-2007, 04:53 AM
I am 44 almost 45, I went from 125lbs to 214 in 2 years. It is even more depressing because I lost 70lbs to get to the 125lbs. I was fine eating the way I was, it was a lifestyle to me, but people started telling me that I was getting too thin. Then I went through a couple of depressed episodes and then I just gave up I guess and I started gaining weight, I started drinking too, making my weight gain even worse! I am struggling now to stop that as well as the OVEReating. I used to look like my avatar and I want to look like that again! I am hoping that telling on myself to others will help. I used to do tae bo which I LOVED and it helped me to lose weight. I haven't done it in 2 years, now I am so fat that even when I start to walk on my treadmill my knee starts hurting. Being a student all day makes matters worse, because I am either sitting at school or sitting at my coffee table studying. I only really take the time to make a family meal or change over the laundry. I know this needs to change... I just can't seem to get motivated............................. H E L P :dizzy:

I totally understand how you feel. I have a very busy life with my kids ages 15, 13 and almost 11. For me, I sit a lot at all of their sports games and practices, and most of the time, there's no place to walk for exercise during practices.

I started a diet I did years ago with much success. I eat several small meals a day, about every 3 hours or so, and stay under 1800 calories. Little by little I will bring the calories down, but I don't want to make myself sick by cutting down drastically, or put my body into starvation mode.

What I've done, is bought some mini meals. Lean Cuisine, Smart Choice, small microwave cans of Chef Boyardee products- I make sure every one of them is under 300 calories. It's only been a couple of days, but I've already lost 5 pounds doing this (I will update my ticker in a few days after I hit the first week cycle). Last week, I lost two pounds, from simply using Z Trim in my salad dressings, cream cheese on bagels, mayonaise, sour cream, and veggie dips. That was change number one. This week, I did the mini meals, so so far, I've lost 7 pounds. It can be done, but make it a diet that is convenient for you! Good luck!

06-03-2007, 10:42 AM
Congrats Steelslady! Glad it is working so well for you.

Beach Patrol
06-04-2007, 02:19 PM
It amazes me that so MANY of us 40-somethings have mentioned DEPRESSION in our posts. I, too, have fought depression. The first time I was 27, the second time I was 36, and this time, here I am almost 44 years old, going into my 2nd year of this bout with depression. The meds that worked for me at 27 did not work at 36, & the meds that worked at 36 did not work at 42. However, after much changing & re-dosing, we (me & my doc) finally found what works for ME..... THIS TIME.

Every single time I have been diagnosed with clinical depression, I have gained AT LEAST 30 pounds. I am currently on the downslide of the scale, but I'm plateauing BIG TIME at 160 (been here almost 2 months). I'm scared to try anything different, because my diet is not just to lose weight, but it's also to bring down my cholesterol & triglycerides. However, I know I can "eat a little bit less" & that should get things moving again.

My main goal is to BE HEALTHY. Body AND mind. Looking like a hottie is just a bonus. :D

06-05-2007, 02:10 AM
Congrats Steelslady! Glad it is working so well for you.

Thankyou! I have a long road ahead of me, but I'm off to a good start. :)

06-07-2007, 02:03 PM
You took the first step in making a change...coming online to seek support from others of us just like you. I did the same and signed up just yesterday. I already feel more motivated than ever (and I'd already lost 6 lbs on my own over the past few weeks).

I hurt my back last Saturday and was really depressed about it. I'd been doing so well getting out and walking 20-30 minutes a few times a week. For the past several days, I haven't been able to move much at all. I was all set to join a gym down the street and really looking forward to it, now I have to wait until my back gets better. Argghhh!

BUT, coming here is keeping me motivated! I hope you continue to do the same!!

06-17-2007, 02:57 PM
Fat and depressed and stressed and overeating and over drinking and This is me! I have struggled with my weight all my life. I just can't get positive about anything and my black moods go for days and days.

I am a very successful professional but my organization is being restructured and everyone seems to want my department reporting to them in the new model.. So even the one thing I am good at doesn't seem so secure.

I have just joined today and don't know where to start. I am so tired I can't event cry but realise I have got to start again. You sound just like me so I thought i would reach out as today is my first day and my first posting.

Are you following a particular diet? What works best for you? I thought of the Oprah diet she promotes online but the thought of not drinking for four weeks is daunting. I mean this seems to be all I have left.

06-18-2007, 10:35 PM
I'm not expert, but one program tells you not to worry about not drinking for four weeks, start with one day at a time, or one hour at a time or one minute at a time if that's what it takes. It's the same thing with starting your weight loss program. Small changes will add up to big rewards. You can't lose 40 or 50 lbs. without losing 1 lb. Attack it in small manageable bits. You'll do great. I loosely follow weight watchers, try and walk every day. One newer thing I read says to try and cut out just 50 calories here and there, that might be switching mayo for mustard on a sandwich. Keep looking on the forums here, there's every kind of program, you'll find what works for you. Good luck, remember the journey starts with one small step!!

06-19-2007, 11:00 AM

Many thanks. I am on day three and have committed to exercise atleast 3 times a week for 45 minutes, and make smart choices and drink water. Dropped some weight right away but it is early days. I like the idea of starting slow and maybe this way these will be life changes. Also find my mood improves just doing something. Thanks for the encouraging words and it looks like you are doing great on your own plan!

07-01-2007, 03:31 AM
For me, drinking has brought on binge eating. If I have a few drinks, I worry about having a hangover and I follow the old wive's tale that if one eats some grease after drinking, then one won't have a hangover. Well, this is not true!

I am trying to disassociate alcohol from eating, or at least replace the eating with wiser choices, and not cheese or ice cream after drinking, when my judgement is bad. So far, so good.

Also, when I gained a lot of weight before, I was drinking those frozen mixed drinks with the Bacardi mixers. Each drink was several hundred calories! And, I would eat afterwards so that I would have something in my stomach to counteract the hangover. I remember when I discovered that fact at 245 pounds, I broke down in tears.

The alcohol itself, for me, is not the killer, but the calories consumed following has got to stop.

07-10-2007, 03:47 PM
I just joined this website. Me in brief, 43 and 150 lbs overweight. Everyone around me is sick to death about hearing how I'm going to change. I have no faith in myself that I can make the necessary changes to become fit and healthy. Every now and again I inadvertanltly catch sight of my reflection in a window (as I rarely deliberately look in mirrors) and at first I don't know who the person is, then I am disgusted that it is me. I have to believe that I can make this work, I can lose weight and become fit, because I can'nt live inside this body anymore. 44 and fat you are not alone, take it one moment at a time. Even a cursory look at this site has given me hope and inspiration. I haven't lost any weight yet, and don't know where you are on your path towards goal. Good luck.

07-10-2007, 05:10 PM
Hang in there with all of us, bluedog. You've made your first post and that's a great start. There is so much info and support on this site. You might want to head over to the 100+ postings too. It is for people who have over 100 lbs to lose. Also, there are a couple of active threads here on the 40-somethings forum. It's nice to talk to others who are similar in age and can relate to the issues we have.

07-10-2007, 05:36 PM
Welcome Bluedog! Like Slash said, you are making a first step by reaching out. I was able to get started (yes, again!) by changing one thing a week. One week, it was no 3pm cookie, the next it was no eating after 7pm, and then walking to the bank vs driving, you get the picture.

Suddenly, it didn't seem so hard. I am not looking at the 50 pounds I want to lose but focusing on having a healthy lunch. A lot less overwhelming. And yes, it's hard when I am confronted by the reality of what I look vs. what I imagine I look like.

But, like someone has on there signature here, the only way to lose 50 pounds is by losing 1 pound to start with. Good luck! Hope

Hermit Girl
07-26-2007, 12:12 PM
MY first comment is to learn to accept yourself, at any weight. Practice self love, and then you may begin to be able to bargain. I found for those who have no self respect, are inherently attached to self destruction. It is so tragic, and I've teetered on that edge before, so I know.

What is it to love yourself? Ask yourself these questions. Write down the answers.

Oh, and those who EVER remark that you're too thin might as well have a tattoo on their forhead which reads "I'm jealous of you ! " You're the ONLY one who knows when you're too thin. Not an issue, right?

07-26-2007, 03:17 PM
Hello everyone
I saw the name of this thread and had to register. I have visited the site off and on for awhile now. I am right with you. This is just about the heaviest I have ever been and I think I am at that point where I have had enough including food and alcohol. I already feel motivated after reading everyone's post. Thanks for showing me that I can do it this time because I am not alone.

kare bear
08-02-2007, 02:21 AM
First - I feel for you. I'm almost always stressed right out of my mind. The only reason I don' drink is because of the meds I take - it would make me very sick.

1. Forgive yourself.
2. Take it slow and easy - maybe a biking instead of walking until your knees are okay (worked for me).
3. Move your body everyday - even if it is stretching to music. Good for the body and soul.
4. If your depression gets worse after your weight gets better please go for clinical help. I didn't know I suffered from clinical depression until I saw a doctor. I thought I was just "fat and lazy."