Weight Loss Support - Are you scared of Onederland?
05-02-2007, 02:39 AM
It was said today that I have made some big progress, I have identified the problem I have and that is the first step to over comming it. Hi, my name is Britt... and I am really scared to enter Onederland. I have lost 32lbs and have ran into a hard painful wall. I am scared to be small, I am scared not to have this weight between me and the world and the people who may harm me. I am scared not to be the strong one who knows how to throw her weight. I know loosing weight won't make me weak, but I feel like it will- and that is how i will be seen and treated- as helpless. Any bit of progress I have made sabatoged. If anyone has or had similiar issues around this weight I would appreciate some wisdom, because I don't know if I am really ready to face my fears.
05-02-2007, 02:45 AM
If anything, the willpower to lose the weight makes you an even STRONGER Person..Don't worry what anyone else has to say. Just because the outside shell is changing doesn't mean the person inside will!
Don't be scared of onederland! I can't WAIT to get there. We can trade places in line if you want hehehehe :D
05-02-2007, 07:28 AM
I can't help but feel like loosing weight will make me a different person, and I struggle with change at times. Doesn't anyone feel this way? Or is this really odd.
05-02-2007, 07:40 AM
I don't think it's odd for people losing weight to have fears about the change and what it will mean. I think especially for women, being overweight is sometimes a way of dealing with the world--literal insulation.
It might help for you to do some weight training--in other words, become physically stronger as you lose the fat. It might help you feel more confident in your body.
I'm hoping some of the Bigger Losers will reply later today--they can speak to the issue with more authenticity than I can.
Hang in there!
05-02-2007, 08:30 AM
You do have to get your head in the right place. I don't know if any of us can do that for you. I would love to tell your brain you are worth this. You don't need to hide from the outside world. You are beautiful inside and outside but you also need to get healthy for yourself. Let's get to ONEderland together.
05-02-2007, 08:57 AM
I kind of know what you mean, though it was not the case with me. I was MORE SCARED to NOT enter ONEderland. I was really and truly frightened for my health and my future. I was totally and completely fed up with my weight and was just not gonna take it any more. It was holding me back from way too much and I had just had enough of it. Whatever changes being smaller and lighter meant, I was READY for. Just bring it on was my take on it. Bring it on. So like Sharon says, your head has to be in the right place.
Changing my weight has made me a different person in some ways. But I'm still the same old me deep down. The same values, morals, ethics, beliefs and all the really important stuff. The things it has changed has all been for the better. I have way more confidence in social situations and every situation. I am so much more active. I shop a heckuva lot more now. I am overall happier and most importantly, I am healthier. I feel like I have the opportunity for a better life. Or at least the opportunity to be the best that I can be in that life. So for me, the changes it has brought about have been extremely positive. Why not give it a try? Don't you too deserve the opportunity to be the best YOU? Of course you do. So come on over to ONEderland. Once you get there (and beyond) you'll see it's a GREAT place to be.
05-02-2007, 09:00 AM
As a fairly recent arrival here in ONEderland, I want to tell you some ONEderful things about the place and help you to glide here soon!
ONEderland, first of all, is NOT SEEING that TWO in the hundred's place when you step on the scale! Just seeing 199 made me feel SO much smaller than I did at 210 (my weight for a VERY LONG TIME!!!!)
ONEderland means that you carry less weight around so even walking becomes easier!
ONEderland means getting healthier because you are FINALLY eating well and eating the right things and exercising to KEEP the body fit.
ONEderland means that you will get to shop in the MISSES section of the store very soon or maybe even NOW! Instead of looking for clothes that will cover you up, you will be able to buy clothes to make your body look fit and trim.
ONEderland means that you take up less space in chairs, on the couch, in your car. You begin to feel more like a slinky cat that can maneuver around in places you'd NEVER even attempt to go before!
ONEderland is shedding pounds of fat that once shrouded who you really were and allows you to emerge as a fit woman ready for the world.
ONEderland is AN OPPORTUNITY for you to become the person you WANT to be. You can be seen for the fit person you are instead of being the you hidden in a fat body that many people just can't seem to get past to see the real you!
Will you change? Sure you will! Will it be wonderful? IT SURE WILL BE! :hug:
Do this FOR YOU, for your health, for your self-esteem, for your heart, for your family, for your SPIRIT!
We are all right there with you cheering you on! This will be great! Come on down! ONEderland is waiting for YOU!!!!:carrot:
05-02-2007, 09:17 AM
I don't have much to add, because everyone else said it so well. Robin and Cheryl summed it up amazingly, as always. I do just want to say one thing, because you mentioned strength. It does feel a bit odd to become smaller, and it can seem like that means you'll get weaker as well. But take it from me, a tall, relatively big-boned kind of girl. I am SO much stronger at 186 than I ever was at any higher weight. I may take up less space in the world, which takes some getting used to, but I can run for seven miles without stopping. I can power my way through a bodysculpting class using the same size dumbbells as the MEN do. When I started, I was a bigger person but so much weaker, using 5-pound dumbbells and struggling to finish the exercises. I'd much rather be smaller and stronger. I'm getting used to the new me, and I love it. I think you will too! Don't let that little bit of fear keep you from getting even healthier. People are starting to call me "small" and "skinny" already, which makes me feel a bit odd because I'm used to having my weight as a shield against the world. But I know how much stronger I am, and with that I feel even "sturdier" than I did at 275, if that makes sense.
05-02-2007, 01:20 PM
I had similar thoughts, like...I was taking up less space in the universe (does that make sense?) Those weird feelings did fade with time.
05-02-2007, 04:02 PM
I find onederland extremely exciting. There's nothing to be scared of. Onederland is just the results of you lowering your calorie range. As long as you stay in your range and make good choices you'll stay in Onederland, is what I think.
05-02-2007, 04:48 PM
I can't help but feel like losing weight will make me a different person, and I struggle with change at times. Doesn't anyone feel this way? Or is this really odd.
No, I totally get what you're saying. Losing weight takes away our excuses (I'm too fat to...) and our barriers (He won't like me, I'm too fat.). I was sexually assaulted many years ago, and I know I put on (more) weight to act as a buffer and protective barrier. I guess it was the only thing my 15 year old self knew to do. But now, my defense is stifling me. I can't live the way I want to live lugging around 70+ extra pounds.
Changing my weight has made me a different person in some ways. But I'm still the same old me deep down. The same values, morals, ethics, beliefs and all the really important stuff. The things it has changed has all been for the better. I have way more confidence in social situations and every situation. I am so much more active. I shop a heckuva lot more now. I am overall happier and most importantly, I am healthier. I feel like I have the opportunity for a better life. Or at least the opportunity to be the best that I can be in that lifeI know this is a long quote, but what robin is sayin' here is too important to lift a snippet. I need to remind my self of this everyday.
I guess, long story short, the confidence, the discipline, and the self-awareness we gain during weight loss will force people to see us as the strong, self-possessed women we are. Onederland is gonna be fabulous. I'll see you there! ;)
05-04-2007, 08:25 PM
Hi, Reddalice. I totally understand about the sabotage. I've been bouncing around the 200 mark for the last 2 mos. It seems that whenever I get close to Onederland I sabotage myself. I told my WW leader about it and she asked me if I was afraid? I don't know. I don't feel weaker because of the weight I've already lost. It just feels strange as I have not been below 200 lbs. in about 20 years. I've even had to adjust to the way I look now, not bad, just different. You can do it though and I can too. We will reach Onederland soon and forever!
05-04-2007, 11:13 PM
I think I must be scared...I was 204 right before Christmas and look at me now. And it was total self- sabotage. Not sure why- well, I do have some ideas. BUt I'm back at it again and as I get closer will stay more conscious of my feelings. OF COURSE I want to weight less than 200!! LOL
05-04-2007, 11:54 PM
Frankly, I'm frightened of every new number that appears on my scale. Every new number is a new low and it scares me. My identity is tied with being morbidly obese and what happens when that is no longer the case? Actually, I think I recently passed into the obese category from the morbidly obese category. How is my life going to change? How am I to cope? I'm frightened to death but it is what I need to do.
05-05-2007, 01:21 AM
I think that Cheryl and Robin summed it up so great that I don't have much to say. But, I too feel like I'm tons stronger now that the extra wt. is off. I know people treated me more like I was weak when I was heavier (because I was weak then). Go ahead and take that plunge into onderland, I promise you won't regret it.
05-05-2007, 08:03 AM
The extra attention makes me uncomfortable too. You would think that someone with hot pink hair would crave it, but I don't- and it makes me angry. I get this whole "What I don't look like I am capable of doing this myself-" when guys hold doors open and offer help. I think the way I have looked at smaller girls my whole life is really having a negative affect on me. They have always seemed ditzy and weak. I was the strong big girl in martial arts, in school I was left alone because of my size and personality, in the medical field I have always been the "heavy lifter"... and in the past fewlbs I am becomming more aware of how people are treating me different- like loosing weight has become a handicap and I can't take care of myself. LoL. -_- I'm gonna need therapy. o.0
05-05-2007, 09:01 AM
Any guy who would like to hold the door open for me gets a thank-you. Any guy who wants to help me lift something heavy, same thing--I know I'm strong enough to do it myself, but if they wanna risk their lumbar vertebrae, hey. Who am I to complain? ;)
Just a little different viewpoint.
One can be strong without being "big." I discovered that in martial arts myself, many years ago. :D
Cheer up! You can get to Onederland and you'll LIKE it!
05-05-2007, 11:41 PM
I was there for a very brief moment - and then I think I panicked and gained 56 lbs! Back to morbidly obese. I do not know what was going on inside my brain and I could kick myself for it now.
I hit 199 and thought - when was the last time I weighed this? And then I thought - you know I'm sick of dieting, and I made it this far, I deserve a celebratory feast... and the next thing you know I am not only starting all over again - but weight more than I EVER did before.
I can not wait for ONE-derland and this time I have no intention of going back.
05-06-2007, 06:40 AM
As far as the being stronger while being heavier, I can't relate. Now of course I was REALLY heavy. But while I was, I was extremely weak. I was so busy lugging around the extra weight that I had a extremely difficult time doing much else. All my energy had to be used just to - move - myself.
I feel and am, waaaay stronger now. I have so much more stamina. I am capable of doing so much more physically.
And yup, I get much more male attention now, oh yeah and female too. Not necessarily a bad thing. I hid behind my fat for long enough. It was time to re-enter the world and become an active participant with all that comes along with it. The good with the not as good, I certainly won't call it bad. :smug:
05-06-2007, 09:35 AM
Not that I've ever had a problem attracting guys, I am rather oblivious so I generally don't know it unless they are very forward. Actually it is pretty sad because DH started calling me all the time before we started dating and we'd talk for hours. I just kept thinking "oh he is a really good friend, I have feelings for him but we are friends". My friend had to actually point it out to me... and then DH had to outright tell me he liked me and wanted to date me. I'm oblivious :)
I don't like attention though. I want to be part of the background.
05-06-2007, 11:58 AM
I understand how you feel to a T... It seems like everytime I get on the scale and the numbers keep dropping, I somehow sabatoge myself too. A huge part of me I feel is saying, "look at you, what are you doing? you're the big girl, always have been and always will be, who do you think you're fooling?" I have no idea why I get like this maybe because I've been obese all my life? I dunno. I am scared to get small, I am scared of not being the fat one, I am scared but I'm not going to let it stop me though. I love food, but I refuse to let it kill me.
Scared or not we've got to confront this "fear" of being in normal weight and just do it.
05-08-2007, 01:20 AM
XD I'm oblivious when guys like me, too. In elementary school a boy liked me the entire time. It wasn't until I moved during middle school my mom told me he liked me. XD
My boyfriend liked me for a good 2 years before I knew he liked me, and it took him that long to ask me out XD
But anyways...I loved Onederland. I got down to 160. I was so energetic always rubbing up on mah hawt self :o I loved to just feel my new body I didn't know I had. I felt so proud of myself everyday. I even started to like myself. It was very wonderful. I hope to be there again one of these days.
-=hobbles away with her cane=-
05-08-2007, 05:55 AM
Gamer :lol: about the cane!
05-08-2007, 01:32 PM
I had didn't hold that value as to be something to be truely important. Sure I was part of "the racing to onederland" thread- but in truth every pound I lose is onederful.
I woke up, weighed in that morning and didn't feel any different from the day before when I was 200. I ate my same food and did my same exercise. That one pound I lost to get to oneland is must like the one I lost this week.
Don't let this become a headgame that messes with your sucess. Most of us have more than that one pound to lose- it's just like the rest. I was excited more to be able to say that I had lost thirty pounds than getting to 199.
But on the other hand...
I was in awe when I put on size 16 jeans. I celebrated buying smaller underwear. I cried in the dressing room when I put on size 14 shorts ( I was a size 22 at Christmas). I bought a harder more challenging video once I had "walked" 100 miles with Leslie Sansone. The next 100 I did in one month and not six weeks. Those moments were really the life changing ones- rather than the day I got below 200.
05-08-2007, 02:12 PM
sirak, I love those wonderful victories! :hug:
05-08-2007, 02:34 PM
My weight has always been a protection for me. That is why I have always sabotoged myself with past diets. I was sexually assulted a few years back and became depressed and gained a lot of weight. After that nobody seemed to take intrest in me. So I kept it on. Now I think I am ready to live my life and get over the past, but my weight has been my bestfriend for a long time. It's kinda hard to see it go.
05-08-2007, 03:11 PM
Torie- I understand completely. After my assault, the "Normal" part of me still wanted to be touched, to go on dates, be healthy, etc, but the Normal was (and somedays still is) always at war with Panic, Fear, Anger, Shame, and Pain. We just have to get rid of all that negativity and self-loathing. How? I'm not really sure. I'm kinda hoping I can sweat it out. :)
05-09-2007, 08:03 AM
I wanted to say thanks to every one. This thread and those of you who have commented really helped me over come this fear. I needed to write it out and hear it echoed and the support has really made a difference. I feel at peace and ready. THANK YOU! That was the biggest hurdle I have had to move over. ^-~ PEACE!