Weight Loss Support - I am NOT too thin.... am I??




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Wolfena
05-01-2007, 08:36 AM
I turn 39 years old next month. My weight is hanging in between 139 & 142 (I'm in maintenance) I wear a size 8 pants & a medium shirt. My BMI is 23.6 I am 5'5" tall. I am healthier then I've EVER been in my life!

Why do people insist on telling me I'm too skinny, I need to gain weight back - I look sickly. That hurts worse than hearing that I needed to lose weight! Do people that are always thin hear that kind of thing from others?

I've heard this from my boss, my coworkers, acquaintances - and now my sister.

Here's a pic just taken this week - with my camera phone so it's not the bestest quality... but do I look THAT skinny??? :?:

Maybe I'm just blind to it because I see myself every day and am a bit paranoid to go back to the way I was before?

(edited to fix a typo!)


2frustrated
05-01-2007, 08:55 AM
You look perfect to me :D

People have problems adjusting to the social hierarchy that is created when the "fat one" suddenly becomes the "skinny, good looking one". They'll adjust eventually, but for now, take pride in the fact that you've done something amazing for yourself.

:hug:

maegdaeien
05-01-2007, 08:58 AM
You sound, and look, totally healthy to me! I agree with 2frustrated; sometimes people just have a hard time reconciling that you've changed and they're uncomfortable with it. Don't let them get you down!


GatorgalstuckinGA
05-01-2007, 09:00 AM
i think you look fine. I feel that sometimes ppl worry if you've lost weight that if they don't tell you to gain some, you may loose weight to the point of unhealthiness. Do i think you need to loose more weight...no not really. I think you look great. But if you are more comfortable at a lower weight that that's fine...as long as you do it in a healthy manner.

KTna
05-01-2007, 09:00 AM
You look great.
People had trouble adjusting to my new look as well.
I agree that it is really their perception.

LLV
05-01-2007, 09:08 AM
I hear the same thing, especially about my face. One family member even commented that I look "bad" because my face is too thin.

I think you look fine. If YOU are comfortable with your weight, then don't worry about what everyone else is saying. And whatever you do, don't let it make you think you have to start eating like crazy again to put weight back on. We all know how quickly that can spiral out of control.

carolva77
05-01-2007, 09:09 AM
You look pretty!!! Dont worry about what other poeple say! Sometimes people is insecure about themselves and they refelct it upon others!

elisa822
05-01-2007, 09:13 AM
I agree with what everyone has said. Everyone carries weight differently so either people aren't quite used to the "new you" or perhaps because your face is thin they see you as too thin.

My numbers aren't far off from you and definitely don't feel too thin...okay, but not too thin. I know when DH lost a bit of weight, he got the same thing. And he did look quite thin in the face but could still have lost another 20 lbs. so I think it's probably mostly people who know you adjusting to the new you.

Hope this helps!

:D

JayEll
05-01-2007, 09:17 AM
Weight-wise, I would say no. You look fine. Your BMI is on the higher side of normal.

It could be that they are perceiving something else--like your light coloring.

How do your medical tests check out when you go to your doctor? Any anemia? Do you take a multivitamin daily? Do you get enough exercise? If all is OK in that regard, then I would say you're fine--and you can tell them so! ;)

Jay

rockinrobin
05-01-2007, 09:26 AM
You are definitely within a "normal" weight range. As long as you FEEL good and are getting proper nutrition and everything else checks out okay, then that's all that really matters. If you are pleased with yourself, as well you should be, well then the heck with everyone else.

Let's not forget there are lots of jealous people in the world, especially when it comes to weight. When people tell you that you're too skinny, I'd just say "Thank you very much."

lilybelle
05-01-2007, 09:52 AM
You look great. Ignore those people.

I get the same kind of comments. The "OMG, you're so bony". "Girl, you are too skinny". "you'd look healthier if you added 10 lbs.". But, I ignore them or say "thank you". Mine usually come from my sisters. I'm 5'7 and usually keep my wt. at 140-145 , which is in the "normal" range and a BMI of 22. 3.

Funny thing is though, when I weighed 135 lbs. before I ever became Obese, not a single soul ever told me I was too skinny then. LOL.

Wolfena
05-01-2007, 09:52 AM
Hi Everyone... thanks for all the responses (and so quickly!)

I haven't been checked for anemia recently, but for my entire life have had a high iron level. Yes, I take a mulit-vitamin every day. I'm naturally pale... I burn easily so don't lay in the sun or go tanning - and don't really want skin cancer either! I exercise regularly (I'm a jogger these days, 3-6 miles a few times a week or have an elliptical I use regularly at home if the weather is bad. I also use weights a few times a month at the gym & sometimes their treadmill or other equipment)

The comment I hear most often IS about my face being too thin. And NO - I am not trying to lose anymore weight... these people often insist I'm still losing (even though I've been in this same weight range since December now)

It doesn't feel like jealous comments when they say them, I get more the feeling like they think I might have some kind of eating disorder or something & it just feels like they're being rude, not caring.

I do NOT have an eating disorder.... well, not like bulimia or anorexia - I am a bit obsessed with food, I think about it all the time. I eat A LOT (of healthy food).... I love taking "old recipes" or seeing pics of food and turning them into my own healthy recipes. I love to shop, I love to read nutrition labels. I feel like I'm always planning my next meal. I am constantly mentally counting the calories I eat and burn off exercising (I still do food diary entries once or twice a week) Perhaps thats some sort of disorder, but it's not the type they think I have!

It just makes me feel like crap when I'm feeling good about how I look & feel - and then wonder if my view is warped because others see things differently.

rockinrobin
05-01-2007, 10:14 AM
If it's not jealousy, it's probably just that people are concerned and have a "funny" way of showing it. Now we all know that I am nowhere NEAR skinny, (161lbs), but HAVING BEEN 287, people tell me all the time that I AM. And some of them are just wondering how I got there. They are puzzled that people can actually lose weight just by eating right and exercising. I've even had more then one person ask me if I was okay - as in do I have a deadly disease. And then there's the people who assumed I've had WLS. And the people who are worried I am gonna get carried away and get "too skinny". They just can't quite grasp that there are no health issues/intervention/eating disorders involved.

I'm with you - the only type of eating disorder I have now(as opposed to OVEReating/binging in the past) is that I am also very into all this healthy eating and shopping and planning and preparing and making good and healthy meals, watching my calories and figuring out how and when to "get in" my next walk.

Keep up the great work. You should be extremely proud of yourself for getting fit and trim in a very positive and healthy manner. I feel badly that it makes you feel so awful though. So please, please try to ignore them and somehow take it as a compliment.

JayEll
05-01-2007, 10:17 AM
Hey! I would just add that anyone who loses a good chunk of weight and keeps it off successfully probably DOES think about food a lot--how much, what kind, and so on--and that's a good thing.

Your face is thin but it is not gaunt. You don't look anorexic to me--but I'm not a specialist. Those people's comments are misplaced. Maybe they watch too much daytime TV ;)

Jay

KnitALisa
05-01-2007, 10:40 AM
Wolfena, it sounds like you're in a really good, healthy place right now. As long as you feel good and your doctor says you're healthy, ignore the haters. Keep on doing what you have to do to stay healthy and happy!

ennay
05-01-2007, 10:43 AM
My MIL thinks I need to stop losing...not out of sabotage or jealousy or anything negative. Or even that I look too thin. Its just...well, I am smaller than she has ever known me and she thinks it is inherently unhealthy to be thinner AFTER kids than before. Pre kids is some kind of baseline below which you should never go. You are SUPPOSED to gain weight after kids.

I just smile.

boaterswife
05-01-2007, 10:44 AM
I agree with everything said....you look FINE! I just have one thought to add to those already posted. With the majority of our population either overweight or obese, I think that when people see someone who is actually in the healthy/normal weight range they do think that person looks thin. Again, it's only because we've become accustomed to looking at overweight bodies. Enjoy your new body, I'm sure it's perfect!

FatToFitVirgo
05-01-2007, 10:55 AM
Dear Wolfena, it would probably be a good idea just to get an updated physical exam, complete with blood work done. That way, you can rule out disorders like anemia, hyperthyroidism, or hemochromatosis.
The thyroid is a very important regulator of body functions. Too little thyroid hormone production (hypothyroidism), and your body slows down, you chill easily, gain/can't lose weight, and your hair starts to fall out. Too much is hyperthroidism, and your body speeds up, you lose weight and can't stop. Neither one is good.

Why would hyperthyroidism be bad? Because your unregulated body chemistry is starting to eat at your vital organs--and that's not a good thing! Allowing one's kidney, liver or heart to be functionally damaged in the name of losing more weight makes as little sense as wanting to be diabetic. Both can lead to organ failure, if left untreated.

The other condition you should ask your doctor to make sure you don't have is hemochromotosis. Since you mentioned you have "always had a high iron level", that's why I bring this up. I have no idea what nationality you are, but statistically, people of Nordic descent are likelier to have this. Too many red blood cells/too much iron describes this condition. I have a friend who has this, otherwise I wouldn't have known about it. The blood gets too much iron, and can't lose it. If you get it checked, you can rule it out!

As long as you continue to exercise and eat right--and it sounds like that's what you're doing--you have nothing to worry about. But getting that physical just to make sure your body chemistry's right--that's playing it safe. If you get your doctor's okay, you can truly tell everyone to buzz off.

Meg
05-01-2007, 11:20 AM
I just have one thought to add to those already posted. With the majority of our population either overweight or obese, I think that when people see someone who is actually in the healthy/normal weight range they do think that person looks thin. Again, it's only because we've become accustomed to looking at overweight bodies.

Kelly, that's a great point! What's 'normal' now (in the sense of a majority of the population)is overweight or obese. So that means a healthy weight with a BMI less than 25 is now abnormal, unusual, and in the minority. You're right, people aren't used to seeing what a healthy weight looks like.

I'm a people watcher when I go to malls, airports, riding the bus etc. and it's just shocking to see the number of overweight/obese people, especially young girls. It makes me so sad. :(

LLV
05-01-2007, 11:29 AM
I do NOT have an eating disorder.... well, not like bulimia or anorexia - I am a bit obsessed with food, I think about it all the time. I eat A LOT (of healthy food).... I love taking "old recipes" or seeing pics of food and turning them into my own healthy recipes. I love to shop, I love to read nutrition labels. I feel like I'm always planning my next meal. I am constantly mentally counting the calories I eat and burn off exercising (I still do food diary entries once or twice a week) Perhaps thats some sort of disorder, but it's not the type they think I have!

I'm the EXACT same way. I too love shopping and reading labels and eating healthy, nutritious food. I too take old recipes and turn them into healthier, lower fat/lower calorie meals. I too plan meals and I especially enjoy logging all of my food. Not just to keep track of calories, but to see what nutritional benefits I'm deriving from the food I eat.

So if that's a "disorder", then I guess I have it, too. But you know what? It's about TIME I have this "disorder" and I'm GLAD I have it ;)

twistedhoneydew
05-01-2007, 11:30 AM
Your face looks great, and your weight is well-within healthy range...probably people just haven't adjusted mentally yet to your new size.

Another consideration, looking at the photo again...the colors look like they could be a little off, but is your hair very yellowy? That could be washing you out, making people think *something* looks wrong, but placing it on your weight-loss because it's most visible. You might find all the worried comments dissappear with a more flattering (probably darker...maybe an ash brown?) hair color.

LLV
05-01-2007, 11:46 AM
By the way, I read an article today that they're now calling calorie restriction the new eating disorder.

Unbelievable.

They waa waa waa about how fat people are getting, then somebody comes out with THAT?

LOL

So hon, I guess we ALL have a "disorder" ;)

I still think you look great!

Meg
05-01-2007, 11:51 AM
If anyone ever pulls that 'eating disorder' line on me, I tell them no, I had an eating disorder. What I do now is ordered eating, not disordered. My eating is thoughtful, planned, and healthy. Hardly a disorder!

LLV
05-01-2007, 11:58 AM
If anyone ever pulls that 'eating disorder' line on me, I tell them no, I had an eating disorder. What I do now is ordered eating, not disordered. My eating is thoughtful, planned, and healthy. Hardly a disorder!

I know, I couldn't believe what I was reading. They were saying that calorie restriction is just a step away from anorexia.

I was like WHAT??????? :fr:

I'd post the link to the article, but not sure if that link would be allowed or not.

If anyone wants to read it (because I wouldn't mind starting a thread about that one) then I could post it and the mods could review it and just pull it if it isn't allowed. I don't want to get into in here and stray from Wolfena's topic.

Meg
05-01-2007, 12:10 PM
Linda, a link to the article would be fine and I think starting a new thread about it would be a terrific idea. :)

Lovestorun
05-01-2007, 12:15 PM
I'm the EXACT same way. I too love shopping and reading labels and eating healthy, nutritious food. I too take old recipes and turn them into healthier, lower fat/lower calorie meals. I too plan meals and I especially enjoy logging all of my food. Not just to keep track of calories, but to see what nutritional benefits I'm deriving from the food I eat.

So if that's a "disorder", then I guess I have it, too. But you know what? It's about TIME I have this "disorder" and I'm GLAD I have it ;)

ME TOO!!!!;)

ennay
05-01-2007, 12:47 PM
By the way, I read an article today that they're now calling calorie restriction the new eating disorder.

Unbelievable.

They waa waa waa about how fat people are getting, then somebody comes out with THAT?

LOL

So hon, I guess we ALL have a "disorder" ;)

I still think you look great!

If it is the article I read, they arent talking about calorie counting and reducing calories to lose weight. They are talking about the fringe groups i.e. "calorie restricting society" who believe that ultra low calorie diets help you live longer. These are typically diets WELL below the healthy range. The beliefs are that if you eat highly nutritious foods in very small amounts that the corresponding slowing of your metabolism will increase your lifespan.

rockinrobin
05-01-2007, 12:55 PM
You'd think that with all the knowledge that is out there today, and all the so called authorities with study after study touting how much healthier it is to be on the lighter side rather then the heavier side, that some people still think of fat as a sign of health and thin as being a sign of unhealthy.

booklover
05-01-2007, 01:16 PM
I read about the Calorie Restriction Society in a magazine and then checked out their website. www.calorierestriction.org. Some of their principles are good, like reducing refined sugars and starches and eating nutritionally dense foods. It's an interesting alternative to the "Supersize" mentality we've become accustomed to these days.

However, I take issue with the basic goal which is to drastically reduce calories to supposedly prolong your life. By their own admission, there are serious health risks associated with this diet:

http://www.calorierestriction.org/Risks

Obsessing about healthy eating is certainly not an eating disorder. But this group goes too far, IMHO.

Lafayette
05-01-2007, 01:35 PM
I think you look great- I got that all the time when I lost weight, too. I even had one woman go so far as to comment loudly that she "would be that thin, too, if (she) were bulimic." I was mortified... until another friend handed her a pack of Post-It notes and told her she should make a note to either quit binging or quit forgetting to throw up. Yay friend! It's great to have someone who lives out your fantasy, isn't it?

All in all, "too thin" comments are a rotten way to acknowledge the effort a person has put into working out and eating right. Oh, well.

I have always been amazed at the fact that people make nasty comments directly to thin people but comment about fat people behind their backs. Maybe it is a majority-minority thing but, no matter what, it all needs to stop.

srmb60
05-01-2007, 01:41 PM
A lot of folks don't understand the difference between 'losing weight' and 'getting fitter'. They think you can stop 'dieting' now that you are as slim as they think you should be.
Even thin people should exercise and be aware of what food-stuffs they put in their bodies.
Trying to convince some folks of this is about as effective as spittin' into the wind.

Wolfena
05-01-2007, 01:52 PM
Thank you, Thank you, and Thank you again...

Yes, the color from that picture is a little greeny-yellowish.

And yea... I get comments when people see me STILL checking nutrition labels trying to decide if a food is something I want to purchase. Not because I need to lose weight anymore, but because I don't want to gain it back! They don't seem to understand that!

I have a regular physical due in June (I am required to have one every two years for work) and I've just been to my gyno last month. They'll be checking me out at the physical pretty well next month, I'll be sure to ask about what was mentioned medically here (I'll have to bring notes!)

ladybugnessa
05-01-2007, 02:01 PM
I think our society has developed a skewed view of what's healthy in terms of weight... that folks who are a normal weight are seen as too thin esp. when they were obese or heavy before. you look fine to me.

i've been told 3 times in the last too days that i'm getting skinny. Honey i'm over 200 pounds and under 5'3".

ennay
05-01-2007, 02:05 PM
I think some people think they are giving you a compliment when they say you look too thin.

cbmare
05-01-2007, 02:08 PM
How fast did you lose your weight? My BIL lost 30 lbs very fast. (about 2 months) He did it with South Beach and a ton of time at the gym. When we saw him, we, too felt that he was too thin. When he went back to his dr., he was told to put about 10 lbs back on. He did and looks great. He still watches his diet and works out. He allows himself about 5 lbs as wiggle room and manages quite well with that.

I think you've been given some great advice here. My question is only in the amount of time it took you to accomplish your very successful goal. That may be why people are saying what they are.

Congratulations on your success. You deserve to be smug, NOT BELITTLED!

wwdolly
05-01-2007, 02:11 PM
You look great! As long as you feel good and your doctor says your in a good weight range ignore the haters. The only things that matter are how you feel and your health! Keep up the good work! :carrot:

Wolfena
05-01-2007, 02:15 PM
I started my weight loss venture in early June of 2006 - I weighed about 198 at the time. I reached 143 in mid-December of 2006 - so in about 6 1/2 months I lost 55 pounds. (my average was 1.75 lbs/week)

cbmare
05-01-2007, 02:18 PM
I started my weight loss venture in early June of 2006 - I weighed about 198 at the time. I reached 143 in mid-December of 2006 - so in about 6 1/2 months I lost 55 pounds. (my average was 1.75 lbs/week)



Well, that certainly works out to about 2 lb/wk. That was not too fast. It was very consistent.

You did every well.

(psst, Wolfena's coworkers - "SHUT UP"!)

cbmare
05-01-2007, 02:28 PM
I know, I couldn't believe what I was reading. They were saying that calorie restriction is just a step away from anorexia.

I was like WHAT??????? :fr:

I'd post the link to the article, but not sure if that link would be allowed or not.

If anyone wants to read it (because I wouldn't mind starting a thread about that one) then I could post it and the mods could review it and just pull it if it isn't allowed. I don't want to get into in here and stray from Wolfena's topic.


Would you please start a new thread with that? I, too, am interested in reading that.

KnitALisa
05-01-2007, 04:14 PM
I get comments when people see me STILL checking nutrition labels trying to decide if a food is something I want to purchase. Not because I need to lose weight anymore, but because I don't want to gain it back! They don't seem to understand that!
People drive me nuts. Reading nutrition labels has opened a whole new world for me. There are things, such as HFCS, that I just don't want in my body, regardless of how many calories it has. Nutrition labels and ingredient lists are there for a reason! Why would you want to buy (i.e. waste your money on) foods that are bad for you after you've worked so hard to get healthy? You're just being a smart consumer.

Sorry, the heat makes me cranky towards idiots. :)

gonnabelean
05-01-2007, 07:16 PM
Hey there!
I honestly think that you look great.
I'm 16 right now and I'd love to be at your size at 39! or even now !

Kery
05-02-2007, 12:36 PM
I, too, think that you look great. :)

The more I think of it, the more I'm convinced it's mostly a matter of perception. People are used to see us overweight, and it takes more than just a few weeks/months to register it. After all, it does take quite some time for us as well to not see ourselves as fat anymore! (Personnally, at around 64 kgs, I still SEE myself the same way as when I was 74-75 kgs. When in fact I KNOW I've lost, in weight as much as in inches/clothing size.) So probably it also goes the same way for other people. As Lilybelle said, when she also was 135 lbs before gaining weight, nobody seemed to mind or find this worrying, but the perception has changed in the meantime, getting 'used' to a higher weight.

And it seems to me like you did it 'the right way', plus you mentioned being in maintenance, not in loss phase. Seems all right. :)

almostheaven
05-02-2007, 03:43 PM
I've heard the same comments from family and friends alike. I feel like there are several reasons for it. a) They're not used to seeing you small, b) They're now jealous because you're small and they're not, or c) They have a skewed perception on healthy weight due to so much obesity in the world today.

I ran into an old classmate when I was over 160 pounds and I've stated here before his reaction...something to the effect of how I "used to look GOOD in high school." LOL He backpeddled when he said it realizing how it came out. But THEN, I came back for a visit when I was 140 pounds and what did he say???? "Damn girl! You're TOO skinny." WTF!?!? I wanted to wap him upside the head...playfully of course. I was 132 in high school. So at 140, I'm TOO skinny? But but but...you SAID I looked GOOD in high school. Get your story straight or...WAP! ;)

As for the label reading and nutrition, I always read labels. Not just for me, but my son. WHY in the world do they need to ADD HFCS to JELLO of all things?!?! Its so simple to buy the premade jello, but I won't, because of that. So I get the boxes and make it for my son. Its just healthier, weight issues aside. My son doesn't have weight issues at nearly 19 months. BUT....I don't want him to ever develop weight issues, nor to be unhealthy because he was fed garbage as a child. So reading labels is just common sense to me.