100 lb. Club - Who do you tell your real weight to?

My hubby loves me dearly and supports me 100% but I cannot for the life of me tell him what my weight is. He knows I'm on this site...he has access to my charts and logs so I know he can very easily find out how much I weigh... but for some reason I can't actually say the words to him.

I keep thinking that if I can just spit it out it will be so liberating, and he has told me time and again...tell me or don't...its not a big deal to me either way.

So - does anyone else have this problem? Any advice to overcome?

My hubby loves me too. Loved me when we met at 135 lbs. Loved me when I was 287 lbs. And of course he loves me now. And is very, very proud of me. But I also can't bear to tell him my actual numbers. I know full well that he wouldn't care either. But I can't bring myself to do it.

The only ones who know my weight are my doctors and you guys here at 3FC. That was extremely liberating to me, to be able to post my weight and talk about it so freely and openly here at 3FC. That's more then enough liberation for me.

Another thing, knowing my hubby IF I did tell him my starting weight, I have no doubt he would say something to his friends like "Robin's lost over 120 lbs." He has a tendency to say things to people that he shouldn't. He even asked me a few times and I told him there was no way I was going to tell him because his mouth sometimes runneth over and he was like, "Yeah, you better not tell me."

My husband doesn't know my weight. I was in the hospital recently (bad reaction to medication and ended up with extremely low blood pressure-not fun...) anyway, one of the doctors asked me in front of my husband how much I weigh. I lied and said "I don't know." Since I couldn't stand up without feeling like I was going to pass out, I figured they weren't going to drag me to a scale! I'm too embarrassed to tell him.

Sherry

The only people who know my weight is...well....you guys. My husband is loving and supportive but I just can't tell him. He love me for who I am I know, he has only said how beautiful I am at any time no matter what I weighed or looked like. I just can't tell him.

Ha, for awhile, I didn't even tell ME my weight (refused to get on the scale - classic Ostrich, I didn't WANT to know).

Well I guess I am the odd man out because I tell my DH what I weigh. I told him at my top weight (which was about 280) and I tell him today as well. I also tell most people (all my family, my good friends) how much weight I've lost, and how much I want to lose overall, and what my goal weight is. Then it's up to them to do the math. :)

I am with Liz - everyone I know knows! I've never been one to keep quiet.

Well - its good to know I'm not alone, but I'd love to be like Mrs. Q and Sept...

Maybe once I start to lose weight I'll feel more comfortable sharing? I suppose its "shame?" that keeps me from speaking up...

This came up just yesteday when my hubby and I went lap swimming...he told me he had weighed himself in the locker room and it was 3 lbs less than our scale at home which made him only at 217 at the gym. I also had weighed myself in the locker room and told him that it was also 3 lbs less so maybe our home scale was wrong? Anyhow...it was very noticable that I left out what it changed my weight to...he never says anything to me, but I think it hurts his feelings a little that I won't share?!

I can't bring myself to say it either. Years ago, I would go in the bathroom and weigh in front of him and I even put a little ticker on the scales and anyone could see what I weighed. Those days are OVER. I did not even weigh for a year until recently because I did not really want to know. Once I did, I could not even bring myself to tell my Mom, and I usually tell her everything! I report it to my counselor each week, and it feels really strange to say it out loud. I have to find me a private spot least someone hear me!

You guys are so right, it is very liberating to be able to say it and not have any fear of being judged as we are all here for the same reason. The funny thing is, I probably look what I weigh and I am not fooling anyone. I had a doctor's appointment once when it was very busy, and he just took a stab at what I weighed and wrote it down rather than weigh me. He was within 2 pounds!!!!!!! That was weird. I also don't want to ever become one of those women who goes around bragging to everyone what I weigh once it is something to brag about either. (If that day ever comes!)

Heh. I have a feeling I might become one of those women. I know it's awful, but I would just love to be like, oh yah I'm 135 and I look gooooood.

As for who knows, my mom is the only one I've actually said "212" to, etc. Everyone else I've told my goal and how much I have to lose. Then I'm sure they do the math.

Yeah... I don't tell *anyone* Except for ya'll. :lol: It's kinda funny... don't you think people can kind of guess?

Well, maybe not... I have had people (my very dearest friends) guess my weight before saying they were being EXTREMELY honest and way-undershot it... or when I tell them I'm trying to lose "like 60 pounds or more" they're all like, "Oh my God, no, Apryl that's too much!" I think it's part that they have no concept of that much weight, but also, it just shows how different people look at different weights. Think about all the different weights here and what sizes they wear! So much variation.

Before I started my plan to lose weight, I ended up having my DF ask me what I weighed. The truth was, I wasn't sure. At first I refused to tell him. Then I realized I was in denial that I was overweight... Then we both weighed ourselves and I was heavier than him! He's 6'. So from that moment I decided to start my weight loss journey.

I get that a lot too, apryl. I tell people I want to lose 20 or 30 more, and they act all shocked like I'm going to be a skeleton then. I'll be in the 160s, for God's sake!

I don't tell people my starting weight, except for you guys and my best friend. I finally told my sisters, brother, and mom, but I'm not sure why. I tell everyone I've lost 85 pounds, so I guess they could do the math and figure things out anyway. I still haven't been able to bring myself to say it to my husband even though he knows how much I've lost. He doesn't know I weigh 190 now (STILL more than he weighs...sigh...)

When I'm finally at goal, I'll probably stand on my roof and shout to everyone who will listen that I used to weigh 275 pounds!

These stories really hit home. You all are the only ones that know my weight. I know my dh would be very understanding and would not say anything negative However, I just can't imagine telling him. I think I would be humiliated..I don't know.

i never really had a problem telling people. i tell my mom constantly but shes my weight loss buddy.

My DH knows and my Mom & some of my close friends. But with friends I definitely do the tell them my goal weight & how much I want to lose & let them do the math. Somehow it is less scary to do it that way - I don't have to actually say the words.

I also find that when people find out they don't believe it. I think it is a combination of people not really knowing what weight looks like & because I am tall. Even my doc made me weigh twice one time because she didn't believe it - lol!

I told my husband this week. First time ever.

I was about 165 pounds when we got married - he asked me a few days ago (when it came up): "What were you when we got married? About 130?"

Awww, bless.

Heather :D

I know my husband has an idea of how much I weigh - but, I honestly don't remember ever telling him how much I weigh. Those numbers are not coming out of my mouth in front of him.

Everyone here knows how much I weigh, the person at Curves knows and 3 people at work know because we are weight-loss partners.

But other than that - until I get to my goal weight - my lips are sealed.... I just can't picture myself uttering those words willingly.

Boy, I have enjoyed reading these posts. At first i didnt relate at all since i never thought twice about telling my weight to my hubby.

But i have a sister who is my best friend. i know everything about her! We talk honestly about everything under the sun. But she would never tell me her actual weight. I always was bewildered by that since we have to be somewhat close on the scales. So when i read some of your posts, it made me think of my sweet sister Paula!

ibbasquish

well I only tell my husband. and when I finally did, it felt good to know that he knows how much I weigh, but didn't care at all. And it is funny.... even though I won't tell anyone else, people have to know. You can't hide 299 lbs no matter how hard you try!!!

My doctor knows and anyone here that looks at my stats knows. 1 friend at a church weight loss group weigh in didn't believe me when I told her I weighed 262. So I got on the scale and showed her...she had to see it to believe it. She's about 6 inches shorter than I am, weighed about 220 and we wore the same size dress.

I wonder sometimes about men and their perception of weight. A 6' tall man can weigh 250 and nobody thinks twice. A tall woman can't. I tried online dating 2 years ago. While making plans for a date, one guy made the comment about this other girl being deceptive about her weight and when he met her 'she was like 250 pounds'. I paused and really didn't know what to say. I was about that weight too, but did not tell him. There was no 2nd date. ;)

I will tell my husband. I can remember the first time I did so...having him guess it. It feel liberating knowing I can talk to him about it. I do not talk to my friends about it. I think they assume am much lighter than I am...so no need to throw the real number out there!

The only people I tell are you guys.

Thanks for being here for me! :hug:

anyone who asks never been ashamed of my weight

My DH and I both know each others weights. Originally I was doing this on my own and then he started losing due to the food I was feeding him. So now he is full on counting calories too! He has a fitday account as well.

I know when I was at my heaviest I lied (a lot) on my Driver's license and it was fun to realize one day that I weighed less than what it said. I even said something to the checker who was ID-ing me. I guess I just don't care anymore since it's started coming off. It is quite liberating.

My bf knows even though I didn't want to tell him at first. Nothing changed.

My family knows.

None of my friends know.

not only do I not tell anyone my weight, I refuse to tell them how much I want to lose (don't want them to do the math) or even that I am on-plan. I'm thinking that they're thinking...AGAIN??! lol
So this time my strategy is to wait until people have noticed I have lost weight before telling them I am eating healthy..and so far I have only had to make excuses with immediate family..and just told them I'm not eating sugar :) lol
It's funny- I guess it's the privacy aspect. I recently had a friend outright ask though, and becasue she's the only person besides my dh that even knows I'm on a plan, and she's my weight loss partner, and she's very candid about her weight, I did tell her. It felt really strange. And I swore her to secrecy..

But dh never asked me how much I weigh, and I never told him, but when I started this plan he asked how much I wanted to lose? I didn't even want to admit that..lol and then the sweetie guessed 20lbs! (I really needed to lose about 50)..and told him the truth..

I tell everyone.

I highly recommend this video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUTJQIBI1oA). It's called Fat Rant and it inspired a few of my girlfriends to tell me how much they weight. For me, it's about owning my weight. If it's a secret, than it's something that's over me all the time. It's not a secret for me.

Jessica!! That video is soooooo goooooood.... and the woman in it, Joy, is so beautiful! I'm going to pass this along. I love it!

I haven't quite accepted the weight on my new scale - but on my old one I was quite willing to tell people that I trust.

I do tell my bf - he doesn't really care. All I care about these days is that I weigh less than him heh.. I do share everything with him though. I fart in front of him.. heh, but no going pee while in the same room!

-Aimee

Jessica I love that video. I've always (well after high school) been completely comfortable with sharing the number with anyone who wants to know (and even to some people who probably didn't). I never understood the "magic" of the number, or why it had power for so many people. I mean unless you're speaking to a blind person that hasn't hugged you, what are you hiding? I had a college roommate who was obsessed with her weight because it was at the high end of "normal" and she wanted it in the middle or lower range. She was an athlete and very lean. The number instead of how she felt and looked mattered most to her. She even contemplated reducing her exercise as well as calories so she would lose both fat and muscle. I told her she could end up losing weight, but looking bigger, but she couldn't get past "the number."

I think one of the reasons fatness is so hard to combat is that we too often consider it the not so secret, "dirty shameful secret." It really is like domestic violence, substance abuse, and mental illness where there's a "pink elephant" in the room that everyone sees and no one mentions. In fact the first three "elephants" are often more acceptable to talk about, which is kind of weird.

I don't think we should all be spouting "diet advice" unsolicited to chubby strangers, but I think it's weird that we're supposed to pretend not to notice a person's size. I've occasionally complimented a fellow "fat" person on their outfit and even asked where they shopped (and yes, if they were within 50 lbs of my size, often with the ulterior motive of finding their "source" for nice clothing - though not directly mentioning their size, I'm not stupid). Replies have ranged from being told a store that obviously didn't carry their size, and outright offending the person.

I don't mind talking about my weight and "fatness," with people. I want to remove the taboo of it all. I think it's funny that when I talk about "being fat," it makes many people uncomfortable. I think people are so used to hearing it mean "I hate myself," that out of empathy, they get more nervous hearing the 3 letter "f" word than the four letter one.

When talking about "being fat," so many friends have said "don't say that," and even one tell me "no you're not." I guess it's because the word is so often hurled as an insult. My general response to someone calling me fat in order to hurt me, is to laugh and say "Did you figure that out all by yourself or did you have help?" It usually stops the person in their tracks, because they're not used to being confronted back, and to top it off, the only thing worse than being "fat" is being "stupid."

I guess I'd better wrap up this novel.

I tell anyone who asks. The leader at TOPS and I were having a discussion and she said I can't say your weight so I said 201 lbs. She just looked at me like I was crazy. It is just a number like my height or age. It does not change the person I am inside. :carrot:

Hubby knows because he is my weight loss buddy and you all know. I wouldnt have a problem with telling anybody my weight if they asked, but people don't ask :D

Sharon, your post reminded me of people who are sensitive about height and age. I had a coworker who was 6'10," he would joke that he was 5'22."

As for age, whenever someone jokes about concealing their age (as in the I'm 29 and holding joke), I always joke that if I ever get tempted to lie about my age, I'm planning on "lying up," instead of down. People look at me crazy, but I explain that if a 40 year woman tells you she's 29, people will either think she's lying or looks terribly old for her age. My rationale is that if I would "lie up," everyone would tell me how young I look.

Unlike fatness, age is kind of hard to guestimate anymore, because some people age fast, and some people look young forever. I was in a bookstore looking for a book on Medicare Part D benefits for myself. I explained to the gray-haired lady clerk what I was looking for, and she smiled and said "you're far too young to be retired. I didn't realize she thought I was just a very young "looking" senior. Without thinking about it, and not being offended, I just laughed and answered "yeah, but I'm not retired, I'm disabled." She was horrified (maybe thinking she'd offended me?) and stammered an apology. I told her "nothing to be sorry about," but she was even turning bright red blushing.

Hey, I just thought "lying up" would work for weight too. Can you imagine telling someone you weigh 50 - 100 lbs heavier than you do?

Colleen - LOL I don't know if I go with the lying up about my weight but I do follow your logic about the age part of it!! I am like you, I will compliment someone on their clothing and ask them where they shop, to get tips for myself. ;) Generally they tell me...but I've probably offended a couple of people. I also use the word fat and use it fairly freely (about myself only, obviously)...I mean like you said there ain't no hiding it!! I figure fat is what I am, and if it happens to come up naturally in a conversation I am not letting out some magic secret by saying that indeed yes, I am fat!

Yeah, I don't think I could actually force myself to "lie up," about weight. Although, an obviously outrageous "lying up," would be a fun response to someone who you think is inappropriately asking your weight, like when someone is trying to sell you some weight loss crap, or a rude relative. "I weigh 500 lbs, and hope to weigh 600 by Christmas."

When someone is being rude or out of line, instead of getting angry or aggressive, I tend to mess with their heads, if only to amuse myself.

As for age, whenever someone jokes about concealing their age (as in the I'm 29 and holding joke), I always joke that if I ever get tempted to lie about my age, I'm planning on "lying up," instead of down. People look at me crazy, but I explain that if a 40 year woman tells you she's 29, people will either think she's lying or looks terribly old for her age. My rationale is that if I would "lie up," everyone would tell me how young I look.


I LOVE IT. I'M GOING TO DO THAT THE NEXT TIME. I'LL BE 50 INSTEAD OF 46. I'M ALREADY OLD TO BE A MOM OF A 4 Y/O.

Well, my hubby and I are working this weight thing together. He was the person that I cried to when the doctor told me my highest weight (I told hubby actual number). He was the person who encouraged me when my knees and ankles hurt the first few weeks of exercise. So, each week we update each other on our progress (and sometimes weigh in together).

My sister in law and I share our victories and set backs and we even give the numbers to go with them.

And I really not tell anyone else the actual starting an ending points. I will share the net loss with anyone. But, I don't say, "Well, I started out a jillion pounds and now I am half a jillion." NOPE! NOT an OPTION!

Oh, I tell the people here at 3fatchicks (by updating my tickers when I finally post).

I decided to tell my hubby last night. I asked him to guess, his guess was 180. I told him to guess what he would think the most I would weigh would be. His guess was 210. I told him and then I told him my highest weight. All he could say was "360... wow... 360". Obviously a large number :) I was about 290 when I started dating him but he knew me when I was 360.

Yeah - people are terrible at estimating weight unless they've been there themselves. I don't know how many times I've heard someone say something like: " he was a REALLY big guy - 6'2", 250lbs". LOL - they of course have no idea that is my current weight!

I myself am not overally concerned about the number. I know the supposed weight range for my height is absolutely unattainable for my body type - I'm ok with that.

not a soul. not a single one.

Only my doctor and everyone here at 3FC. I go along with not wanting to tell family or friends about being on plan, or losing weight, because I don't want them to wonder how long it will last this time. It isn't that I want to hide the number, it is just a privacy thing for me. I feel that I should be able to have a few things that I can keep to myself. My husband would probably be able to guess within 5-10 pounds of what I weigh. He has always been able to guess that, where others have always been surprised when they know the real weight.

When I first joined, I wrote about a weight loss challenge with a group of girls at work where I would have to reveal my weight. Well it was postponed... until Monday! How perfect is the timing of this thread. I'm still struggling with this. I may join. These are close friends so I'm not concerned about them judging me. It's just tough to admit to. But it's just a number. It doesn't define me. It's just a number.

When I first joined, I wrote about a weight loss challenge with a group of girls at work where I would have to reveal my weight. Well it was postponed... until Monday! How perfect is the timing of this thread. I'm still struggling with this. I may join. These are close friends so I'm not concerned about them judging me. It's just tough to admit to. But it's just a number. It doesn't define me. It's just a number.

Go for it, Tiffany! I have no doubt that you will be an inspiration to the others who join the challenge and you have so much knowledge to share.

Go for it, Tiffany! I have no doubt that you will be an inspiration to the others who join the challenge and you have so much knowledge to share.

Thank you Rhonda. :hug:

We took my stepdaughter to a play park for her 5th birthday...there was a water ride that required less than 275 lb. I declined to go on it and my DH gave me this exasperated look...then he looked at the sign and recognition happened. I think that was the first time he ever thought that I might weigh that much, but I actually feel better now about the fact that I don't have to tell him if I don't want. Someday I'll feel comfortable doing that, but its not now so I'm not going to stress about it.

Who do I tell? You mean you folks actually tell people? HAHAHAHA!!!!
Just kidding. But seriously.... er... nobody. At least, nobody in real life. :o

I never told anyone how much I weighed (even I didn't know!), and I still don't tell people how much I used to weigh. The first time my DH knew my weight was when I was at the doctor's office last month. I didn't step on the scale, but I told them what my weight was, and he was with me. He said that was the first time in 26 years, he'd ever heard my weight. I think that's because it's the first time I wasn't ashamed of how much I weigh--and I weigh considerably less than he does now rather than more. :) I do tell people how much I've lost, but never what the starting weight was. Well, okay, I guess I have it right on my ticker, but it's easy to tell people you never see and who don't know you.

I will tell anyone. If they come up and ask me on the street and I have no clue who they are I will tell them. I don't really have a problem with that. I think people are shocked when I am so open with my weight, but I am okay with it, just not how I feel.

Originally, you guys were the only ones I would tell. Last summer, my sister and I had a 5 week challenge (she also has a weight problem) so she knew. Then my nosy 12 year old daughter saw what I weighed from looking at 3FC posts. :lol: When I hit 199, I told DS and DH what I weighed. I'm looking forward to the day when I weigh less than DH (he's 190), so I didn't care if he knew anymore. I tell most people who ask how much I've lost. It's more a badge of honor at this point than something I'm ashamed of. I don't tell people my goal weight or my starting weight, so they can guess what I started at, but they can't be sure.

I think the only person who knows (other than the readers, here) is my step-sister. And she only knows because she told me her starting weight and we were exactly the same!

Love him dearly and he's wonderful but nope I tell noone either. I fully disclose here but all anyone IRL knows is how much I've lost. I think my DH estimates my weight as much lower than I actually am.(lol) I say this because one time I said to him.."I'm about 300 lbs." He said,"your nowhere near 300." In fact,though I said it in a joking tone, I was getting really close to that mark. So I think he thinks I weigh less than I do. No reason to tell him he's mistaken.(lololol)

My DH was with me at my Dr. appt. and the Dr. chewed me out for weighing 234 lbs. So, there was never any denying my true wt. to him. (I'd always lied and told him I weighed 185, LOL, like he couldn't tell the difference).

My sister kept really questioning me and I told her that my starting wt. was 214. Not sure why I felt like that sounded SO much better than 234. I have since fessed up and admitted what my starting wt. was. Funny thing is that since I've reached goal, she says she weighs 160 and I know she's WAY more than that.

Now, anyone that asks, I'll tell the truth. I'm honest about how much I started at, how much I lost, and what I weigh now.

i never used to tell anyone at all what my number was... only the doctor knew and that's just because you have to step on that stupid scale when you get there, blech. but i remember having an honest and emotional conversation with my friend liz one day probably 4 years ago now and her perspective just opened my eyes to the fact that my dh loves me like crazy no matter what the number is and i finally realized that it didn't have to be this secret/burden that i've always let it be.... still, i only tell liz and my dh, and, of course, now all of you chicks :)

Only here at 3FC, but my hubby (who would love me the same even at 600 lbs) only knows that I'm within a few lbs of his weight. I guess I'm fickle, but hey...makes me feel better at the moment. I know I won't have a problem telling where I started after I lose it all though. ;)

The only person who knows is the WW receptionist. My husband loves me but I can't bring my self to tell him or let him know

Hmn. Anyone who asks- that is, now I can. I was humiliated by my size at 235-240lbs. Now I proudly say 200, to anyone if it comes up, without shame and with a twinkle in my eyes. Some probable don't know that I have lost weight, since I am in a new job and city, and don't understand why I am proud of the number... ^-~

I don't really tell anyone because it's none of their business...but then no one ever asks either, so it's a non-issue. My fiancee looked over my shoulder and must've read it while I was posting here last night, but that didn't bother me because he doesn't care what I weigh. Besides, I'll be thin soon enough, and I won't mind telling people. :belly: