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Old 04-24-2007, 04:29 PM   #1  
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Question What would you do if...

I know we all get into sticky situations now and then when we're dieting. There are always times when it seems like there is no choice to make but to eat something we're not supposed to. What do you do in these situations?
For example, last week I visited my boyfriend's mother and she made dinner for us. Not only was the dinner limited on healthy choices, but she made a very fattening dessert which she said she made especially for me because she knows it's my favorite. When she offered me a slice, I couldnt say no! What would you do if this happened to you?
Also, what do you do if you're stuck at a restaurant/party/pot-luck dinner where there's no healthy choices and you won't be able to eat for hours?

Thanks for your input, guys. It just seems like I always get stuck in these kind of situations almost every weekend where I am almost forced to go off my diet. Any ideas and hints will be great.
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Old 04-24-2007, 04:40 PM   #2  
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In that situation I would try my best to use portion control. That has helped me during a lot of situations where there was nothing that I could eat that was healthy or nutritious.

I was actually caught in a similar situation today where I went to a fast food restaurant intent on getting what I had calculated for lunch and go figure the place no longer served what I wanted so I had to decide on the fly. I'm pretty sure it cost me but I won't let it get me down.
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Old 04-24-2007, 04:44 PM   #3  
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That is real life. Any successful long term diet has to accommodate these real life, off-plan situations. In the case of an unhealthy meal at your in-laws, you're pretty much stuck. It's very difficult to insult the mother of your boyfriend by turning up your nose at her cooking. In this case, you do the best you can (try to fill up on the best choices) and smile the whole time.

On the other hand, I don't like people pushing food on me, if I taste everything and make appreciative comments, I would get uncomfortable if someone pushed me for seconds or tried to make me eat more than I wanted.

Personal coping mechanisms:

1. Try to bring food myself (check with your host/hostess in advance, sometimes this can be seen as rude, a simple "thanks so much for dinner, can I bring a big green tossed salad" should be okay and appreciated).
2. Instead of meeting at the in-law's house, try to arrange to meet at a restaurant that you know has a healthy option or invite them to your place where you can make something healthy for you
3. At any offplan event, there is usually a few healthy things, try to fill up on those and limit "treat-type" foods to tastes.
4. Split desserts or be "sooo full" Take a few nibbles, declare it DELICIOUS but you would EXPLODE if you ate one more bite. Ask to take your piece wrapped up to go home with you, pitch at home (I know that sounds terrible, but I throw out food to prevent temptation).
5. If I make bad decisions at a work function/party (there were healthy shrimp and vegetables and I decided to eat mini danishes), try to find out why I made that decision and how I can make a better decision next time.
6. Immediately forgive myself for eating offplan. One offplan meal did not make me a heavy person. One offplan meal will not immediately make me fat again, but I could get fat again if I eat like that all the time. Get right back onplan the next eating opportunity. (cheat meal != cheat day, cheat weekend, cheat week!).

Learning to be flexible and relax a little and not stress over unavoidable offplan eating made a big difference for me. I don't let occasional offplan eating derail my successes and it hasn't!

Last edited by Glory87; 04-24-2007 at 05:04 PM.
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Old 04-24-2007, 06:38 PM   #4  
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Quote:
6. Immediately forgive myself for eating offplan. One offplan meal did not make me a heavy person. One offplan meal will not immediately make me fat again, but I could get fat again if I eat like that all the time. Get right back onplan the next eating opportunity.
I think that is really important. I went a bit off this weekend- but it was a family gathering. I even took a tiny portion of cake. The family stuff stirs up anxiety and that pushed me to eat stuff I had not planned.
It was German Chocolate, which isn't really my favorite.
I had to look at the numbers that day as a blimp and a remind myself that I could have eaten that much in one meal before I started this journey.
The true ability is getting back on plan and making it work the next day !
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Old 04-24-2007, 09:25 PM   #5  
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If I'm offered something and I dont want to be rude, sometimes I claim to be too full but request to bring it home with me because it's so great. THen throw it out. It makes them happy, and I think of it as garbage in my body or garbage in the trash can. Less workouts for me and everyone is happy.

I think this is the problem when you are trying to make a change. People know that you used to like that stuff so they offer it as a treat! Not too helpful, but they are just trying to be nice.
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Old 04-24-2007, 11:30 PM   #6  
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Wow, I really like the idea of taking a few small bites then saying you're too full and taking home the rest, then tossing it! I think I will actually use this idea quite often. And portion control is definitely key also.

And little white lies of saying I'm too full to eat more can never hurt.
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Old 04-25-2007, 12:29 AM   #7  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bikini Dreader View Post
If I'm offered something and I dont want to be rude, sometimes I claim to be too full but request to bring it home with me because it's so great. THen throw it out.
I normally go ahead and eat what's offered, watching portions very carefully, and then forget about it. The people in my family aren't stupid, they can see I've dropped almost 90 pounds and they're aware that I just don't eat the way I used to. When they try and push food on me, I simply say, "No thank you, I've had enough."

That's it, point blank.

I don't want to mislead them or make them think I want a certain food when I don't. I don't humor them and make them think I want to take a bunch of leftovers home when I know I'll never eat them. I just flat out say, "No thanks, I've had enough, maybe someone else would like the leftovers. There's no point in me taking them home because I doubt I'll eat them anyway."

I'm up front and honest about it, but polite at the same time, so as not to hurt anyone's feelings, and that's it, I'm done with it. The reason I don't take the leftovers home is because I don't ALWAYS throw them out. I'm tempted to eat them and sometimes, in the past, I have. So no more of that for me. I eat what I want at the get-together and leave the rest be. I don't do it in a way that anyone would be offended. And if they are, then oh well, it's my body and my choice not to accept the food and I just don't want the stuff in my face.

Out of sight, out of mind.
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Old 04-25-2007, 01:01 AM   #8  
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I have said "OK, but can I have the smallest piece? I really shouldn't have any but yours is sooo good."

And I try to eat little bits of things I like.

There's a delicate balance in social eating ... your health is important but so are you loved ones.
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Old 04-25-2007, 01:34 AM   #9  
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I agree with LLV for most situations, but I can understand how building a good relationship with a boyfriend's mother can be tricky. It takes awhile for a family relationship to get to the blunt "I'm not going to eat that" stage (LLV's comments are what I would use with my own family, as well, but not necessarily a place where I was a guest for dinner in a non family situation).
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Old 04-25-2007, 09:54 AM   #10  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Glory87 View Post
I agree with LLV for most situations, but I can understand how building a good relationship with a boyfriend's mother can be tricky. It takes awhile for a family relationship to get to the blunt "I'm not going to eat that" stage (LLV's comments are what I would use with my own family, as well, but not necessarily a place where I was a guest for dinner in a non family situation).
As a guest, I would still say "no thank you" to extras and leftovers. Although, as a guest, I'd probably leave off the part about there being no point in me taking the leftovers because I wouldn't eat them anyway. That would be a little rude, I think. But with family, they already KNOW I probably won't eat them anyway, LOL.

There's nothing wrong with saying no. It's YOUR choice what you put into your body. However, if someone makes a dessert especially for me, then yes, I'm going to eat some of it. But if I don't feel 'obligated' to the food, I push it away. So basically, like the others have said, I just try and pick the lesser of the evils and watch portions
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Old 04-25-2007, 12:11 PM   #11  
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I am very comfortable telling my family that I am trying to watch what I eat. But when it comes to people outside of the family, I just don't feel comfortable telling them straight out that I'm not going to eat it. I guess I just have to watch my portion and have the smallest piece possible. Hopefully people can catch on that I am trying to lose weight and they won't specially make desserts for me...
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