Weight Loss Support - for some reason I am so sad today




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carolva77
04-21-2007, 11:51 AM
I used to be fit, now I am so.... disgusting to myself :(
I have a great husband, a great job, I dont have any real problems, yet I hate my body, I know that I have been abusing it , some days I hate myself. I dont have any motivation today to go to the gym, because i believe everyone is going to say, wow how fat she got, she looks awful (one lady actually say it)
Last nite my DH was so romantic with me, I dont deserve it. I asked him why you love me and he was like cause you are great!!! And here I am crying thinking I dont deserve my life because I let my self go, my clothes dont fit anymore.... Even people I dont know I am sure looked at me and said, she is fat!!!!!!!!
I am sorry for the vent. I am seriously thinking never go back to my gym and exercise here at home. At least I wont get any comments or looks from anyone if I do it alone. I am afraid of any of the ladies asking me why I got so fat again... :(
Today I just hate my body... maybe tomorrow will be better.


Bikini Dreader
04-21-2007, 12:04 PM
Hang in there! Don't let one clearly rude person get you down. This is a vicious cycle. If you get in the mindset that you aren't worth working hard for and aren't beautiful then you will continue it. Writing and posting is great and might help get some feelings out. I even started a book that clearly will not be published (ahah) but I treat it like a memoir and write about past issues that come up. Each one is a chapter and I find it really helps to work through them. I think I used food to stuff myself and not have to deal with my issues.
Maybe start slow today, go for a walk or do some housework in terms of exercise. Write a list of all the things you love about yourself. It doesnt have to be physical - talents, relationships, etc. Also, think of one thing you really love about your body. For me, I love my legs. I do a lot of exercise classes to get them toned. So there are other parts of my body that I dont love, but when I'm feeling down, I think about how great my legs look. Maybe there is something you can think about?

I think I got that exercise out of the book The Taming of The Chew. It is a great book that walks you through a lot of exercises to get a handle on overeating. Also, I think the clincher for me was the book "The Secret". It just put everything in perspective. It's all about positive thinking allowing for positive things happening in your life. I really never believed it even until it started to come true. There have been so many changes in my life that I attribute solely to my change in attitude. It's all about believing in yourself. Believe you will get to your goal and you are no longer fighting against yourself daily. You want to get to that goal and you will.

You deserve to treat yourself well and to be happy. Your body has allowed you to get this far in life. Start loving something about it and you will want to treat it well.

Have a good day today.

watchhershrink
04-21-2007, 12:06 PM
i dont know how to fix it, but i want you to know that this feeling will pass if you let it. i deal with these feelings a lot. all you can do is fight it cognitively. everytime you think a mean thought, decide to think a nice one. put on some music that makes you smile. sit in the sunshine. blow bubbles. you gotta make yourself happy again, even if its fake happy at first. im sorry you feel so low, i wish i could fix it for you.


carolva77
04-21-2007, 12:15 PM
I am so glad because I found this site and I can see how many people deal with the same things I do...normally I am a very sound person but today I feel like ouchhhhhhhhh .... thanks so much for being here and read me.... some days i just feel low.... but hoping and praying tomorrow will be a better day!

ladybugnessa
04-21-2007, 12:30 PM
ONE stupid person's opinion does not matter especially if she's rude. Trust me.

what you need to focus on is loving yourself and moving forward. I go to the gym and if you saw me you would say oy she's so fat and uncoordianted i can't belive she dares to come in here.

carolva77
04-21-2007, 12:38 PM
I would never ever would think that specially of such a nice lady like you are...:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: You are a very nice lady, believe you me....
Trust me you are braver than me.... I dont want to go, and it is so weird because I used to love it :(

JayEll
04-21-2007, 12:57 PM
Don't be afraid, carolva77, and hold your head up high! You can choose to believe your husband when he says you are great and he loves you. Isn't he the one who was having trouble with you going to the gym? And you both talked it out? Well, you CAN go, so GO! Don't worry about people who say rude things--they will get it back someday. You need to exercise for YOU because YOU are worth it. No one else's opinion really matters.

Also, we are much, much more than what our bodies look like! The body changes, after all--we get older! Our value doesn't depend on that. You are a radiant being, no matter what your shape and size--a precious human being.

Jay

carolva77
04-21-2007, 01:03 PM
Yes I am the one the hubby got jealous, although he is ok now (because I am sitting right close to him)...LOL
Besides that ... I am just tired of being fat.... I wish I could go back to my old self instantly but I know it wont happen..... I am just sad :( sad because I used to be thin and I am not thin anymore....sad because I let myself go. But I do feel like this is an opportunity to grow... I know I am a valuable human being and I am blessed with a loving man and many many more things...
My dh has never comment on my weight, when he met me I was probably 35-40# more than now, and we falled in love. He has been very patient with me, but I believe that the fact that I work with men only, that I got a new job making more money than he does, and sometimes that I have to spend a lot of time far from him due to my job, is bothering him a little bit.
Thanks for letting me vent. Thanks! Thanks!!!! It is better than therapy!

trekkiegirl
04-21-2007, 02:11 PM
I agree with Jay, Bikini and the others. Don't let anybody, especially a stranger, make you feel badly about yourself. I know that can be hard sometimes, it's natural to feel hurt when someone is like that. But, you know, people who do that often have their own problems or hang-ups...I think anybody that's truly happy with themselves doesn't feel the need to put others down to give their own egos a boost. You've got a lot going for you...you're a great person, it sounds like you have a supportive husband....and you have us! :D

Honestly, the way I look at myself is pretty much this. I know I'm overweight. I see it, I feel it, it bothers me. I also know that I'm a reasonably smart, funny, caring and cute person. ;) :D I basically have good health, I like my job, have friends, great relationship with my mom, etc. I'm not rich but I can afford to get myself nice things now and then. I feel there's more good things about my life than bad. Does the weight keep me from doing certain things either physically or just out of my own inhibitions? Definitely. But I can work on that. I can lose the weight. I have that power. I have that control. I can not only make it happen but I can have a good time while making it happen! No reason why I should feel miserable along the way.

So...if anything I can say can be helpful at all, I would say this. Focus on the positive things. Work on the ones you feel negative about...and find ways to make that work positive. For instance, if you really don't want to go back to the gym, then work out at home. Heck, I do 95% of my exercise at home! If you can afford it, you can look into various tapes/DVDs or equipment. Now that the weather is nicer, take long walks. Even your husband can join in and exercise, too! Do things that make you feel good that don't involve eating a bunch of food. :p Whether it's something like changing your hairstyle or color, or just playing your favorite music and dancing like nobody is watching, go for it! :p It's like building up positive energy within yourself. Losing weight, I think is harder, if you feel like crap about other things in your life and there's all this stress, but I think if you feel good, that kind of carries over and helps with the weight loss in terms of confidence and perseverance.

carolva77
04-21-2007, 02:13 PM
wow you have lost a lot of weight!

baffled111
04-21-2007, 02:29 PM
Everyone is right that you have to ignore that woman. The comment was more about her than it was about you.

But! I have a magical solution for feeling depressed and dejected. Go to the gym RIGHT NOW and get yourself an endorphin high! Endorphin highs are addictively good, AND, afterwards you'll feel the triumph of having overcome the negativity of that woman's comment, AND you'll be closer to your weight-loss goals.

Now go do it!

ladybugnessa
04-21-2007, 02:35 PM
I would never ever would think that specially of such a nice lady like you are...:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: You are a very nice lady, believe you me....
Trust me you are braver than me.... I dont want to go, and it is so weird because I used to love it :(

and what's so funny is i used to hate it and now i'm starting to like it.... go figure.

carolva77
04-21-2007, 02:52 PM
I will jump o the elliptical that I have at home now!!! I promise, at least 45 minutes of brisk walking... I have been doing good with the food today! Only veggies, whole grain cereal, fat free milk, and chicken breast.
I will walk on the elliptical now!

JayEll
04-21-2007, 03:14 PM
You GO girl!!!!!! :cb: :carrot: :cb: :carrot: :cheer2:

Jay

Kery
04-21-2007, 07:41 PM
Aw, I hope you soon feel better! I suppose we all have such feelings at one point or another, but really, please don't let it eat at you. Hating one's body, or oneself, is destructive anyway (and a deterrent to eating more healthily/exercising and losing the weight!). And I very much doubt that your husband chose YOU for whatever weight you were before your wedding, so I seriously think that when he tells you how great you are, you can safely believe him, because he loves the whole of you, for who you are, not for some number on a scale or a few less inches.

You know, when I was younger, I would always think that the 'thin people' were necessarily better because they were thin, and that I wasn't deserving of anything because I was fat. It was pretty sad in itself. But then, it occured to me that those thin people who were making mean remarks about those who were overweight, well, weren't they being crappy just by behaving that way? We're all worth *something* and deserve *something*. Even if some want to make us believe that our weight is what defines us in life, the truth of the matter is that we are what's in our hearts and minds, not in our thighs or stomaches. :)

*hugs and hopes she's still making sense at 1:30 AM ^_^;*

Janie Canuck
04-22-2007, 01:26 PM
Don't let the rude lady (and I use that term loosely) win! If you want to work out at the gym, then go. Fat is simply a state, and you can change it. She will probably be rude and inconsiderate for the rest of her sorry life.

But, if you feel more comfortable working out at home for now, then do that. No point torturing yourself. The main thing is to get some exercise - it doesn't matter where.

Stick with your program, and take care of yourself, because you deserve it. You will start to feel better when you see some results, and I bet that starts a whole positive feedback loop - you'll feel better, treat yourself better, look better, and so on. Then you can march back into the gym and make the rude lady eat her words.