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Old 04-20-2007, 01:08 AM   #1  
finally ready
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Hi everyone!

I hope there's room here for one more I'm a SAHM, 33, and struggling with my weight. I'm one of those people who's always felt fat, but never really was until I hit my late teens. I think by then, the low self-esteem had really taken hold, and I kind of became what I always thought I was. Kills me in a way to realize all the time I wasted hating myself, thinking I was huge when in fact I was only size 10....but what can you do, right? I'm here now, and I guess now is the only thing I can work with.

I weigh about 269 now. I kind of feel like 2 people inside....sometimes, I feel almost deluded (for lack of a better word) because I don't really think that I am this fat woman. Other times, it feels like it's ALL I am. Does that make any kind of sense? I know there's more to me than my weight, but - especially heading into summer - it's the biggest hurdle in my life right now. I know a lot about healthy habits, nutrition etc. - I just am not great at putting it into practice for myself. I shy away from social situations, feel uncomfortable around the other moms at school, dread getting dressed to go out, etc....it's just not a pleasant way to live.

I'm struggling a little with which way to go right now. I feel like I should be strong enough to do this on my own with something like calorie counting....but then think that I might need something like WW to help keep me accountable. It just makes me feel like a failure to think that I can't go it alone, though!! There goes my two-sided nature again - I want structure, to belong to something, to have it all in black and white, but then again I want to be independent, in control of my own changes, not part of a mainstream "diet" plan. So my head is a bit of a muddle and I'm not sure where to begin - your thoughts are welcome (if any of you are psychologists I'm sure you'll have a field day!).

I have a lot of heart, though, and a lot of desire - I just think too much sometimes, which can get in the way! lol!

I look forward to joining in here, and getting to know you all better.
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Old 04-20-2007, 06:22 AM   #2  
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Wow, what a great heartfelt post. I can relate to it oh so well. Especailly paragraph 2, ummm did I write that? Asking for help is without a doubt NO sign of failure. In fact, I think it's just the opposite. It shows you are trying your hardest to set yourself up for success. Which either way you head towards, WW or calorie counting please know that this is VERY doable. I myself am a calorie counter. You have to ultimately decided which avenue is best for you. And if you're not happy with what you decide, well you can always switch it around. With a bunch of determination and commitment ANYthing and EVERYthing is possible. I really look forward to getting to know you better. Post often so we get to know you. This is great place for support, advice and encouragment.
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Old 04-20-2007, 07:26 AM   #3  
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suejenn! So glad you decided to join us.

There are many people on this site who have attended Weight Watchers and have been very successful. Please dont think of attending meetings as being a failure. Even with the meetings and the structure of the plan, it will still be up to you to stay committed and follow the plan...therefore, any success will be your success. The most important objective is to get started. Like many of us, you might change plans later or make some slight modifications....but you will still be on the road to success if you begin now. I spent years trying to find my perfect diet plan. I'm sad to think of all that time I wasted.
I'm looking forward to getting to know you.
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Old 04-20-2007, 07:56 AM   #4  
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First WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME.
You don't have to do it alone you have all of us for support. Everyone needs someone to talk to. If you want a weekly weigh in you can do it here. I belong to TOPS so I have that weekly weigh in it helps keep me on track without the expense of WW.
Nutrition and calorie counting: I am 46 years old and I thought I knew it all but I have learned alot since January 10th right here at 3fatchicks. First and foremost this has to be a plan I will stick to for the rest of my life. I eat whole foods, most fresh vegetables, some fruit, nuts(watch my portions), chicken, turkey, fish, foods high in fiber like good cereals and beans. I also count calories.
Exercise: MOVE, MOVE, MOVE. Do it even if you hate it. Make it part of you day. You would not go outside without putting on clothes
don't end your day without exercise.

I believe you are right that you became what you thought you were. So did I. I strongly believe 99% of weight loss is in our heads. You have to convince yourself you are worth this and put yourself first. This is very hard for us women. Our men and children come first we come 2nd or 3rd. Tell them you are also doing this for them. They will have a healthy Mom to play with.
You can do it. We are here for you.
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Old 04-20-2007, 08:30 AM   #5  
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I really resonated with your post too, because I don't like the structure of "main stream" diet plans and I did not like attending WW meetings (however, if you try it, you may like it, you never know!). I count calories and do it on my own. I'm sort of analytical by nature, and I like counting them and realizing that weight loss really does come down to a simple mathematical equation, calories in<calories out. And exercise thrown in there too (very important part of any plan) just makes everything so much better - you lose weight quicker, you get more muscle buring calories on your side, and you feel SO good.

Bottom line is, you need to find whatever works for you, and whatever you can do for your whole life, because you really do need to look at this as a lifestyle change, and not a temporary diet. I'm sure you know all that but it helps me to say it once in a while too to remind myself! Again, welcome, and look forward to seeing you around the boards!
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Old 04-20-2007, 08:43 AM   #6  
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I think we all have a lot that we can relate to in your post. Count me in, too! The part that resonated with me was the frustration of not being able to handle this myself. I always felt I was smart enough to figure out what to do, but since joining 3FC, I realized that the one thing that was really missing was the support of others. It's hard when you don't have friends your size and you KNOW they can't relate. And, with the anonymity here, you can say what is on your mind without worrying what others will think. More than likely, you will echo what someone else is feeling or has felt. So that's my word of wisdom to you. Choose whatever plan you feel will work for you and then come back here to read and post, read and post. There are a lot of really smart people here who can give advice better than any other forum I have ever seen. And we all really care about the success of others. Get ready for some great laughs, tears, emotion, and lots of support!
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Old 04-20-2007, 08:59 AM   #7  
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Of COURSE there's room for you here!!!! We're a bunch of very determined people here because we want to LOSE THIS WEIGHT and become that person that we all know is inside just waiting to emerge!

Others have given you great advice already, but I'd like to add that even small changes will reap BIG REWARDS, particularly as you start your journey. When I began my adventure I tried to read as much as I could about normal-weight individuals. I tried to figure out what they were doing or not doing that I could add to my plan. Win the Fat War by Anne Alexander and The Thin Commandments by Dr. Stephen Gullo are two that REALLY helped me.

Keeping a journal was one of the best things that I ever did because even now, SIX JOURNALS LATER, I go back and read what I wrote, what I was thinking at the time, and LEARN so much about my progress over time. In my journal I always include positive affirmations as well, and I congratulate myself along the way. Sure, I write down measurements and food eaten and calories and all that stuff, but it is the soul-searching entries that seem to be the most valuable to me.

Walking worked well for me as I went from being not-so-active to ACTIVE. An added bonus was my achy varicose veins didn't ache so much anymore!

I welcome you and hope that you will enjoy your time here. There's lots to read! I am STILL trying to catch up with past posts!

Cheryl
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Old 04-20-2007, 09:38 AM   #8  
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WELCOME - you've found the best place for support right here! Take it one day at a time - and these ladies before me know what they're talking about.....stopping in here everyday sure helps keep me on track!
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Old 04-20-2007, 10:35 PM   #9  
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Hi suejenn! I, like many others here, can relate! I, too, always thought of myself as fat....until I found some pictures of myself at 18 and I saw that I wasn't.

Do research on the different structured programs out there. Try a few on for size, see how well you can follow their eating plans. I am following WW, simply because it give me the freedom to eat what I want, as long as I stay within my points. Funny thing is, the freedom took away the cravings for junk food! If you can, talk to your doctor. Mine was very helpful. She told me to include some type of support, that it helps with weight loss. I had read about 3FC in a magazine, and looked around for a few days before jumping in. I look forward to reading what others are up to, gleaning information and trying to learn all the different people that are posting. Being active in this group sure has helped me!
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Old 04-21-2007, 07:30 AM   #10  
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Welcome to our group! You have certainly found, in us, a groups of ladies who know what you're feeling right now! Just jump right in and make those good decisions. Like others have said...it doesn't really matter which plan you go with...you just need a plan and you need to be committed to it. This is a great place to stay motivated, committed, and determined. It's a great place, also, on days you aren't feeling those things. I've found that when I'm feeling "snacky" the best thing for me is to LOG ON! I get lost in all the posts and before I know it I've been sitting here for 30 minutes (or more!) and my desire to eat is GONE! Love that!!!! I have found more support and understanding here since January this year than I ever would have believed. We're so glad you're here!
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Old 04-22-2007, 12:23 PM   #11  
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Welcome to the group!

I am fairly new here and have found everyone to be very friendly, helpful and supportive.

I can totally relate to you, I think most of us can in some way or another.

I belong to weight watchers (joined two weeks ago and have lost 6lbs so far). I have been doing the flex plan but am thinking of doing the core plan instead. That is the great thing about WW. You can go back and forth as you please. So far I am happy with it, I don't feel deprived and the weighing in once a week keeps me accountable.

Everyone is different though. It is a personal choice and you can't think of it as a "diet" but a "healthy lifestyle". Something you can stick with for good.

Hope any of this helps.

Lisa
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Old 04-23-2007, 01:40 PM   #12  
finally ready
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Thanks so much to all of you - I've read each and every message, and taken your words to heart. It means a lot to me to have found a place where I can be honest about how I'm feeling, and be met with kindness and understanding.

I've been thinking long and hard about which route to take, and my plan is to go to Weight Watchers and give myself 3 months (I can get a 12-week pass) to get on track, focus on staying on plan, and get the benefit of the support. After that, I'll reassess - I'd like to save the money if I can, but might find I still need that support environment. We'll see. I think, for now - getting started - that going to weigh in and then immersing myself in some "me" time with the meetings, will help me to start in the right direction. Weighing in with strangers is something I know will be in my head when it comes to food choices during the week!

I do believe that success with calorie counting on my own (which is where I would like to get to) will be easier once I've lost a few pounds and had that glimpse of success - the problem is, there are some really challenging things in my life right now, and I'm my own proof that getting started on my own just isn't working for me at this point (dingdingding - BIG realization this weekend! ).

It's really wonderful to meet such kind and giving people - your support and encouragement means more than you can know.
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Old 04-23-2007, 02:49 PM   #13  
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Suejenn: Just wanted to add my "welcome." You have beyond a doubt found THE BEST place for support, help, advice, motivation, ideas, and friendship for your weight loss journey! I am 110% sure that I have lost what I have since 1/3/07 because of 3FC. Just knowing I would come here and be accountable and that I could come here for help when I stumble (and I have done that several times since 1/3) made me face each day with optimism that I am going to see this through to my goal weight.

You and I have a lot in common, it seems: We are the same age, our start weights are really close, I am a SAHM, and I used WW to get myself going. I, like so many have already said, so related to your post. Seems all of us who are on this journey face many of the same thoughts and feelings - but that can be a good thing because that is what brought us here to 3FC! Together, we all create a community that is supportive and understanding of one another, and this is the reason so many have been successful thus far.

Hang in there! I will be cheering you on as we journey together to better health - both physical and mental!
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Old 04-23-2007, 03:10 PM   #14  
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Suejenn...I also want to add my welcome

This is such a hard road to tread, and together, we can do it.
I read your post as if it were my own, it was like looking into a mirror..

You've found a goldmine of friends who know exactly what you are going through, and there is nothing better that that for winning this battle!


Linda
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Old 04-23-2007, 08:37 PM   #15  
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I knew that I needed the support of a WW meeting so that's the way I went. I do much better being accountable to someone other than myself--it's something I've learned about myself after much trial and error. Please don't feel ashamed if you feel like you need the support of an organized group. I've reached lifetime and still go to meetings almost weekly.
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