Weight Loss Support - people who weigh the same as you, but look bigger?

04-17-2007, 05:08 PM
i dont know if anyone can relate and i apologize but i had to rant about this, i have kept it in for way to long. yesterday i was looking at the newest glamour magazine and saw a few pages talking about swimsuits for your body type in which each girl with a bathing suit had their weight next to it. i was stunned and almost cryed when i saw pictures of women who weighed around or less than me.. they looked huged! i couldnt belive that i looked like that! now i dont know if it had to do with height but they looked pretty tall to me and im tall so i just pictured myself and compared myself and i freaked out. this isnt the first time this has happened. i watched as people on celebrity fit club weighed in and i just couldnt belive my eyes in knowing that i weighed more and they looked the way they did. i dont know if im just lying to myself or if my weight distributes differently than the pictures or people ive seen but i was shocked and still am, am i really that huge, its sad. i sometimes joke around with my mother in saying that those people are just inflated ballons lol and that we are tree trunks lol.

04-17-2007, 05:17 PM
I know what article you are talking about! I have that issue. It is a little difficult to look at the pictures. I did, however, see some swimsuits that I want to purchase! :)

04-17-2007, 05:19 PM
The only way to know is to actually look at pictures of yourself. Honestly, I think I look smaller than I do. When I look at pictures of myself, I say "do I really look that big?". Not to discourage you but often our picture of ourselves in our mind is different than if we looked at a physical picture of ourselves.

04-17-2007, 05:20 PM
I totally understand, and it's very likely that you do look different than people who weigh the same as you. Height obviously comes into play, but so does the amount of muscle vs. fat, as well as just how you carry it. Some people can carry a lot of weight but don't look like it if it's more evenly distributed over their bodies, whereas others with the same # on the scale can look flabby.

04-17-2007, 05:46 PM
I know for me.. I don't see how big I really am when I am actually looking in a mirror... it has to be a video or picture..

I know that many women who suffer from Anorexia, see fat on themselves when they look in the mirror that isn't there.. they think they are fatter than they really are.

I believe many women who are overweight yet have good self esteem.. actually have the opposite of this... I know when I look in a mirror, I see myself more like my mind's eye.. not myself in actuality.

Bikini Dreader
04-17-2007, 05:47 PM
I was just talking to a coworker who was complaining about her heaviest time being 1 pound heavier than I was 2 months ago at my heaviest time. I'm 5 foot 3 and she is 5 foot 10. That was a reality check for me.

04-17-2007, 05:52 PM
I agree that often, wheat we picture ourselves as in our minds doesn't always sync up with what we see of ourselves in pictures. I think when you have lost a significant amount of weight (as I see you have--congrats on your progress!), your mind and body have a slight disconnect. Your body is still overweight, but your mind knows that you're LOTS smaller than you used to be, and I think that fact may get a bit exaggerated in your mind's eye.

04-17-2007, 06:19 PM
I have not read the article, but I can relate.
It's not uncommon that people of the same height and weight look very different because of their weight distribution, bone structure, etc.
Take me for example, my coworker and I are both 5'4", somehow I look taller than she(because of my shorter torso). One of my co-worker is petite and full-figured, people often mistake her as much heavier than she actually weighs. So, there you go. :)

04-17-2007, 06:21 PM
Honey...don't despair. Muscle makes all the difference in the world. If you have it and they don't, that is probably the reason. I have a co-worker who say's she's about 5 lbs less than me, but is about 2 sizes bigger than me. She doesn't weight train or have a significant amount of muscle. She's got about an inch on me too, which would normally be to her advantage, but not in this case. Keep building muscle and you'll have the edge on them all! :)

04-17-2007, 06:22 PM
I hear you... I recently saw a picture of myself and didn't realize it was me- that girl was WAY too chubby!

04-17-2007, 06:34 PM
The only way to know is to actually look at pictures of yourself. Honestly, I think I look smaller than I do. When I look at pictures of myself, I say "do I really look that big?". Not to discourage you but often our picture of ourselves in our mind is different than if we looked at a physical picture of ourselves.

I feel the same exact way! I feel a lot smaller then I look thats why it breaks my heart to look at pics of myself........... Or I'll pick up a pair of pants and go OMG those are huge they'll be way to big on me then I put them on and there tight! :(

04-17-2007, 06:37 PM
heh i'd like to think that i see myself as bigger than i really am! hahaha

im guilty of loving my bathroom mirror - i can look in my bathroom mirror and feel great. then i catch a reflection in public and feel betrayed by my faithful mirror!

it always hits me when i hold up my jeans! if i hold up my pants and actually look at how LARGE they are - its my reality check!

04-17-2007, 06:57 PM
I don't like to look in the mirror, because my mind had a different image than what reality shows. I would guess that self image has a lot to do with it. I am just keeping the faith that eventually reality will catch up with the more healthy, slimmer image of myself that I have in my mind.:dizzy:

04-17-2007, 07:04 PM
I like to think I look like I weigh less than I actually do, at least with clothes on. Without clothes you see all the jiggle and cellulite and I can tell I still need to lose weight, but with clothes on I think most of the problems are covered. Of course when I was at my heaviest, 189 pounds, I still really didn't think I looked that big. When I look at photos of myself from then I cringe, and I can definitely see the progress I have made. I suppose if I hit my goal (ok, ok be positive, WHEN I hit my goal) I'll look at photos of myself from now and think I look chubby.

04-17-2007, 07:04 PM
Oh, I just wanted to add that I thought each of the women featured in the 'curvy bodies' section were beautiful!

04-17-2007, 07:19 PM
I see the opposite: people who weigh more than me but look smaller.

04-17-2007, 08:17 PM
I find this an interesting phenomena - this common theme in the threads that obese women often are surprised at their picture and don't think they're as large as the scale says. Misinterpreting one's weight is a well known result or function of anorexia, yet its not well known that many obese people have a distorted body image, but in the opposite direction. Living in denial about how much food or calories one is consuming seems to go hand in hand with this avoidance of reality about one's weight or appearance. Not making a judgment, just taking note :).

04-17-2007, 08:33 PM
Claudia, I was definitely in denial of all of it, the calories, the food consumed, my size and appearance. Even now, I'm not sure how I managed to see myself everyday and still never really "see" myself. I would see myself in photos and think that it was just a bad photo and that I didn't really look like that. I caught a reflection of myself once in a store window and until I realized it was me, I was feeling so sorry for the huge obese lady. :o

I'm much much more in touch with reality now. Now I'm still surprised when I see my reflection, but for the exact opposite reason. I usually imagine myself as heavier than I am now.

04-17-2007, 09:28 PM
One thing that struck me as odd was seeing some women on this board who were the same height and roughly the same weight as I talking about wearing size 10 or 12 pants. I've been wearing 14 or 16. I'm an hourglass shape and have a rather ample bottom so maybe that's the difference but as I was reading those posts I was thinking when I was a size 12 I was 140 pounds!

Anyway....I think I feel smaller than I am, too. Maybe it's because I've been at lower weights longer...I didn't get to the 180-202 lb range til the last few years. Plus, I know how to do a fairly decent job of picking clothes that accentuate the positive and diminish, even a little, the negative. I've also not really experienced that many negative comments in my life about my weight. Certainly, nobody in my immediate or extended family said anything to me, until the last year or two when my mom could see I was getting bigger and she wanted me to turn it around...and that came from love and concern, not criticism. She's overweight herself, and in her 70s now, and she knows how hard the weight loss struggle is (although she was very pleased and surprised to tell me that she lost 5 pounds in the last 2 weeks, which I was so happy for because she was trying for months, too, with no budging). I've gotten compliments on the way clothes look on me (and I usually wear jeans/jean-like pants, corduroys, pullover shirts or sweaters, pretty simple, casual style). But that positive feedback also had a negative effect sometimes because then I could tell myself, it's okay, just keep hiding it rather than get rid of it. Thankfully, I'm out of that mindset now. I'm still wearing what I think works well on me but I am also working to lose. :)

04-18-2007, 02:05 AM
I have kind of experienced this first hand. At my highschool weight I was 152 pounds (i'm 5'6) and a size 14 Australian (about a 10 US) I went up to 175 pounds and wore a size 16 Aus (12 US).

Now I dropped from that highest weight to my horrible awful skin and bones weight of 110 pounds and wore an 6-8 Aus (2-4 US). I had no muscle tone and yes...an eating disorder.

A couple of years on I'm 140 pounds and a Aussie 8/10 (4-6 US).

I weigh 30 pounds more than stick insect but have only gained one size.

I think weight is a very deceptive thing and I had to throw my scales out for a long time because they were doing my head in. So yeah, now I weigh more but I don't look like it and i'm healthy! So I'm happy :) Those last 5 pounds can come off at their own pace lol.

My sister is 5'6 weighs 123 pounds and is the same size as me *shrugs*


04-18-2007, 02:19 AM
Liv, do I have the right person? Didn't you say in a thread that you have a smaller waist than your sister? (As I recall, your waist was really tiny).

04-18-2007, 03:24 AM
Yes I do lol mines 25" hers is 27"

I however have bigger hips! *grins* 38" compared to her 35"

So what fits my waist wont fit hers and what'll fit around her hips would split if I tried it!

But we're the same "size"

04-18-2007, 06:32 AM
I have the opposite problem and see myself as bigger than I am. When I'm clothes shopping I will pick out pairs of jeans UK 20 (US 22 or 24 - depending on which conversion chart you believe) when I'm a UK 12. It's only when I read the label that I know I've got the wong ones.

On the otherhand, I have a lot of friends with my stats as I suppose I'm average height, average amount of flab and some of them are way smaller than me. I have to go with what Libby said - I'm pretty lazy exercise wise and theyre not which accounts for the difference in how we look.

04-18-2007, 07:54 AM
I used to think that women who weighed the same as I did looked bigger. Then one day, looking at recent photos, I realized--no--I look just like they do. That was disturbing and helped me commit to losing weight.

My internal mental image is of someone thinner than I actually am.


04-18-2007, 08:15 AM
Everyone's body is different though ~ Personally I just don't even know what 200 lbs or 300 lbs is supposed to look like anymore... and I DO think that you (general "you") could look BIGGER (or smaller) than me and weigh less. When you take height, bone structure, porportion, etc., all into effect the number on the scale isn't really that relevant.

I went to a "weight counselor" a few weeks ago, she was actually SHOCKED that I weighed just under 220 lbs. (Well, I'm shocked too :lol: ). She told me there was no way I actually "looked" that number.

Personally, I LIKE the image I have of myself in my head (the smaller me) because he helps me actually hold my head high and walk with confidence down the street. After all, that WILL be me again... may as well get used to it ;)

Rock Chalk Chick
04-18-2007, 09:57 AM
I think there's definitely some level of variation between bodies - in the same article they show two women at 180 pounds... one on page 110 under "hide my hips" and one on 112 under "trim me down." There's obviously a lot of difference in the build and athletic level of these two women (though both are gorgeous!), and this could be due to a number of things (including height, which it bugs me that they don't provide!)

At the same time, there's a lot of us who are either in denial or don't want to accept just how big we might look. My mother's incredibly guilty of this - ever since I was a kid, she'd point out another big woman and whisper "I'm not as big as HER, am I??" Over the years, she's put on a few (or a hundred) extra pounds and has stopped asking so much, but there's been a couple times when I've struggled with what to tell her! Is it better to be kind and tell her what she wants to hear, or be honest and potentially hurt her feelings?

Seeing a few candid pictures of myself playing in the ocean on a recent vacation made me realize just how large I do look. Posed pictures allow me to angle my hips and suck in or hide my belly and whatever else might make me look a little better, but these "action" shots really showed what I look like to everyone else (needless to say, I wasn't too happy with them!). At the same time, I still struggle with "realizing" how big I must be - I took a few pictures last night and posted them on my blog (comments welcome!). If anyone wants to see what another 205-pound 5'6" woman in a too-small bikini looks like, feel free to check it out!

04-18-2007, 10:10 AM
I totally agree with all of you it definitely depends on your body type. I noticed from people's tickers that some people are the same weight and height as me but yet we wear different clothes sizes and we have different measurements. My sister who is 5'4" and weighs 160 lbs wears a size 12 sometimes 14. When I weighed 190 I wore the same sizes as her and a lot of the the clothes fit me better. When I was in excellent shape I weighed 140lbs with 17% body fat and was a size 9/10(US). I've heard that in the past 10 years clothes manufacturers have changed the sizes of clothing. Ex. 9/10 would now be a 7/8 because American women refuse to buy larger sizes. Has anyone else heard of this?

04-18-2007, 10:22 AM
Yup, it's called vanity sizing, and yup, it happens!

I work out, so I tend to look smaller / be a smaller size than many women who are also my height & weight. But it is hard to get past the number on the scale to focus on clothing size or whatever!

The other thing I notice is that, in OTHER women - I actually think the ones who are more my size are more attractive than the ones who are actually closer to my goal weight - I find them to be too skinny, and think they'd look better with curves. . .

So I really think that, at least at some level, I don't actually WANT to be my goal weight. Which is no doubt a big part of why I've just maintained for months & months now. But I DO want to see a number on the scale that is at least somewhere in the 130s. . .you know?

04-18-2007, 04:45 PM
Rock Chalk, I took a look at your blog. You have a really well defined waist and I never would have guessed your weight.

04-18-2007, 07:12 PM
Rock Chalk, I took a look at your blog. You have a really well defined waist and I never would have guessed your weight.

i just left her the same comment on her blog. shes gorgeous. :p

04-19-2007, 11:59 AM
This is a great thread. I totally can relate!

I always freak out when I see pictures of myself because I honestly do not think I'm that big. When I look in the mirror, I truly don't see myself as being that heavy!

I'm the type of person who hides weight really well. At my 'skinniest', I weighed 165 pounds, but wore a size 9/10. I'm only 5'3.

04-21-2007, 12:06 AM
As others here have said just because they weigh the same doesn't mean they look the same or are the same size. I have a friend who weighs only 5 lbs. more than me but she wears a size 18/20 and I wear a 14/16. It depends on your bone structure, height and also where you carry your weight. Don't feel bad, we all have freak out moments too!

04-21-2007, 02:32 PM
im nearly six foot tall so im constantly confused about issues of this nature.

04-21-2007, 04:51 PM
It's really varied- I'm muscly (and a bit stocky but curvy in the right places) and wear US size 10 jeans at 161. I had a conversation with my Mum the other day who was trying to motivate me and tell me I didn't have too far to go as she was saying that when she was under 130 lbs she looked drawn (and as we have similar frame sizes in her opinion)

My goal weight is above that and I think I'd be happy at 146- 150. But the only way to really tell whether I look the size I feel inside will be when the wedding photos come back!!

x Yael x
04-21-2007, 06:15 PM
I think some people carry weight better than others. I have a friend who weighs 2 stone (24lbs) more than her sister, but when I see them I think they are the same weight. I honestly can't tell a difference. My friend appreciates this, but I'm sure her sister wouldn't be too happy!!

I was readying a magazine yesterday and it was talking about women who are plus size and happy with their bodies. I thought they were lying about their weight because a couple of them said they were UK size 20 and weighed around 15st. Now, they are basically the same height as me, but I weigh almost 17st (and am size 20 as well). I was amazed how much of a weight difference there can be for people in the same dress size.

04-21-2007, 06:32 PM
Im big around my tummy and hips....and my chest..but i think im skinnier than i am...just like when the doc wants me up on the scale i think it will say somthing smaller that it really is..then it slaps me in the face it scares me cus im only 5ft2.5 rounded up to 3..my friends are taller than me and wiegh less than me..i hate that too

04-21-2007, 08:33 PM
I was watching a weight loss show, and the woman portrayed wound up at 175 lbs, and I thought that she looked heavy. And then I realized that I AM THAT WEIGHT! And since they gave her measurements, I matched up. But, I don't think that I look like that! I MUST, though...How confusing...