LA Weight Loss - How do you change your mindset?

View Full Version : How do you change your mindset?

04-16-2007, 10:40 PM
Question for the group...since many are having trouble staying committed.

I know this has been touched on recently; I am so frustrated with myself and my apparent inability to resist temptation.

It really bothers me that this addiction (it must be) has such power over me, that it can influence my decisions. I know it's not smart to eat breadsticks AND pizza...or to go to a breakfast buffet and expect to do anything but totally blow my plan for the day, yet I do these things anyway. More and more lately.

I lose 3-4 lbs, then put them on and take them off again for the next two weeks. The better I do at losing, the more I give myself permission to go off plan. Does that make sense to anyone else? Why do we do these things?

I'm normally a smart person, who makes good decisions. I have a lot of responsibility in my job and a reputation for being organized and 'together'. Why doesn't that transfer to this situation?

For those of you who have struggled with cravings, or are struggling now, what do you tell yourself when you are in the moment. Does anyone have a successful strategy for changing your mind when you can practically already taste the (your favorite food here) ?

Sorry, this is half vent, and half earnest question. I'd really like to know how others get through those tough times. Thanks!

04-16-2007, 11:11 PM
I repeat my mantra whenever I feel temptation creeping up.. and my mantra is...


So basically, I yell at myself most of the day. :-)

04-16-2007, 11:12 PM
Angie- I definitely feel your pain. I reached my original goal of 180 back in October. Ok, if you do the math, you will figure out pretty quick how much I have lost in the last 6 months. Not a whole heck of a lot. I was pretty much off of plan and just playing with the same 5 lbs. I had a heart to heart with DH, tried to figure out what the heck was wrong with me, then I sat down and read my LA free to live book I got when I signed up and somehow something clicked. I MUST do up a weekly menu plan for every meal if I am going to have any chance of sticking to the plan. If I don't, then I eat whatever.

Sorry I don't have any magical words. I do know that it's 90% mental and if I am not mentally in the right place, then there isn't anything anybody can tell me to make me change my mind. They tried challenges at the center for me, I have done challenges on here, I have made big rewards goals for every 10 lbs. lost and it does nothing for me unless I am in the zone.

You just have to figure out what works for you. Read a motivating book, reward yourself with something really good when you make a mini goal, post before pictures all over your kitchen, put a lock on the refrigerator;) . Then when you figure it out please let me know K?:D

04-16-2007, 11:26 PM
Angie.. I really wrestled with this right after Christmas... As most here have from time to time.

There are lots of things to remind us about the committment we've made to ourselves and to our families about this..

Also, consider the cost of the program.. That, along with Liz being on the plan has helped bring me back to focus.

You've done a really good job so far and you have nothing but blue skies ahead if you stick with it.. It's normal to fall by the wayside from time to time, but it's extremely counter-productive to dwell on our minor (and major) diviations from the plan..

If you screw up, then commit yourself not to screw up again.. Don't worry about what you did, as it only makes you doubt yourself. Try to focus on your next meal and what you can do to make sure you stay on plan.. You can't beat yourself up about it, or you'll just make the decision to screw it all and give up the progress you've made..

Do you like the way your clothes fit better now? Do you like the way you've started to look better in the mirror? Then refocus your efforts to look even better...

You can do it and we can help you stay on track!!!

04-16-2007, 11:28 PM
pre- LAWL I saw a woman walk by me who was very trim, fit pretty..... I thought to myself "what I wouldn't give to look like that" then I thought to myself, "what would I give???" when I say to myself "what I wouldn't give....." it implied to myself that I would give anything in the world. But then I realized, I don't have to give that much. I don't have to give my first born, my home, my husband, my soul. Then what do I have to give? I have to give the desire to stick to it. When I realized that I could have it all I have to do is do it, then it became clear. This was not something that was off limits to me. I CAN be fit. It is mine for the taking. It is like Dorthy, the ability to go home was there all along, she just had to believe it herself. Click your shoes 3 times and tell yourself "theres nothing like fit, theres nothing like fit! "

The other thing I tell myself is I only have to be POP for one day, thats all. only one day---- today. when I wake up tomorrow, I tell myself again, you only have to be POP one day --- today.

that is not to say that I don't fail from time to time, I completely understand what you are saying about feeling addicted and out of control. But I have got to keep trying, because I would give anything to be trim and fit myself.

Hang in there and click those shoes!

04-16-2007, 11:37 PM
I think part how we "let ourselves go off plan" is that when we're losing really well and being POP.. then we let ourselves have a "nibble" of something.. and then when we STILL lose weight after having that "nibble".. then we have something else.. next thing you know, you're completely off plan!

If we've had something "naughty".. don't let the whole day go to ****. My stomach would say "well, we've already blown it for today.. let's have a burrito at Chipotle!".. but the mind has had to curb that thought process. Half a POP day is better than none!

04-17-2007, 09:19 AM
I know exactly how you are feeling; I have struggled with staying on track on every diet program that I have been on. This may sound silly, but one day I was so fed up with my addiction, I wrote a letter to it. I expressed in this letter how it made me feel, why I wanted to break the addiction and why I deserve better. It was very empowering. I read this letter to my husband through tons of tears and the next day I began LAWL. Every time I feel like eating the house, I pull out my letter and read it. When I do, I am taken back to my most highest and lowest point. It gives me the strength to move on and stay on plan. I know that I don't ever want to feel the way that I did when I wrote that letter. Hope this helps!

04-17-2007, 10:11 AM
Great post Angie, and some truely great responses everybody! And boy what perfect timing. I lost 3 pounds last week, felt amazing to have a loss like that. I've got a goal, to get as close to my goal as humanly possible before my surgery (35 days and counting). Then last night I ate chocolate easter candy like I'd never seen candy before. It literally made me feel sick to my stomach, not physically so much as mentally just realizing how I sabotaged myself! I woke up this morning kicking myself in the a$$ and said "How bad do you want this? Whats it worth to you to be healthy and to be here to see my kids grow up?" WTF I was told last week that I had lost enough weight then I eat enough chocolate to feel like a blimp! Wish there was a magic pill to make cravings go away, until then I need to remind myself that I CONTROL my food, it doesnt control me anymore! Well most of the time anyway LOL
Hang in there Angie and everybody else struggling, WE CAN DO THIS! Like Wendy said, one day at a time!

04-17-2007, 12:00 PM
Thanks for all the great comments and advice, I knew if I was struggling, someone else must have been there too.

Wendy II – Lol, I’ll try that! I’m sick of being fat too. Right, some good decisions are better than none, I need to remember that.

Deb – Thank you, it’s nice to know that someone who has done as well as you, has been through this part as well. I think you’re right, I have to have my head in the game, I do so much better when I can make my determination work for me. I’m definitely going to put the horrid picture of me, the one that drove me to LAWL in the first place, on my fridge, and maybe make a wallet sized one too.

Dan – Ditto for you, I’m glad to know you’ve pushed past this point and done so well. The cost is the one thing that is always in the back of my mind, and I don’t want to have to buy additional weeks later on. I do have some clothes I’d like to wear again this summer, that haven’t seen the light of day since before I got pregnant. Maybe I’ll pin a pair of my old Capri pants to the bedroom wall, and try them on once a week to see if they are closer to fitting.

Lettie – You are SO right, your words really hit home for me. In fact, I’m going to print them and keep the paper in my purse to read when I’m tempted. I’m the one who will decide if I stay fat, or make the decisions that will help me to lose the weight. I LOVE LOVE LOVE your Dorothy analogy.

Colincalebsmom – Thank you for that idea. I have always been a big writer, so this is right up my alley. I’m going to give it a try, when I have a few moments to myself to put some thought into it.

Kim in TN -- Yes, I can totally relate to that. A bad decision, followed by self-deprecating thoughts and regrets. It’s a great idea to ask questions of ourselves in those moments, like ‘how much do I want this’.

Really, thank you all for sharing your feelings, thoughts and ideas on this. I’ll have to start carrying around little recipe cards and reading through these thoughts and ideas when I’m feeling like my judgement is impaired. I so appreciate all the help and advice I find on here. I hope that more people will join this discussion and share their thoughts too.

04-17-2007, 02:06 PM
Angie, thank you for posting this...I've been feeling this same way the last two weeks. I saw the "tiny" number of 174.5 after TO one week and ever since then, you'd think I was wearing a magic calorie-proof cape the way I've been eating. cape, and a gain of five pounds. *sigh* I decided this morning to get back OP with writing out my menu for the day...can I make it through just ONE day? I think I can. I better. I'm so tired of sabotaging myself.

I LOVE the idea of the letter to myself. I think I'll do that as well. It certainly can't hurt. If only we lost weight based on the fattening foods that we DIDN'T eat....


I'm with ya, sister. Let's get back on that horse together.

04-17-2007, 07:00 PM
My one COD manager is a retired substance abuse counselor, who became a substance abuse counselor only after she dropped 140+ pounds and decided food is a drug just as much as anything else.

I'm on my last week of Weight Loss, but she made an extremely valid point while reviewing my diary today. That is, I'm eating in a way that I could probably eat the rest of my life. Because I'm planning and eating things that aren't always considered diet food, I hopefully won't go falling back into my old fast food and junk habits. She reiterated once again that it's a lifestyle choice, and rather being concerned about what the number on the scale says, I should focus on how much better I feel, how much more energy I have, and the fact I'm living a healthier life. The problem with having food addictions, we need food to live. One can live without alcohol or most drugs, but one needs the nutrients of food.

Now that I had such a :soap: 200th Post, :woohoo: let me just hope I don't suffer from any type of addiction transfer from the caffiene and junk food. I already have way too many handbags, I don't need to be buying anymore. ;)