04-15-2007, 09:59 AM
This week I've been so stressed out with my mom dumping all her problems on me and dramatising that she's dying every few moments. Here's an example...
(Me) I had such a stressful day in school today. (mom) "who cares."(me) "Is that all you can say?!?" (mom) "I think I'm having a heart attack...my blood pressures rising." After that it gets really ugly...it turns into a big argument...that is so out of proportion.
I hate coming home to this I hate living through this!!! I don't have any support right now or nothing to alleviate this tension...exercize does not seem to be helping...I can't seem to alleviate these ugly feelings.
Getting up and going out I find really hard to do because I'm afraid it won't help at all.
This week I've went up from 146 lbs to 152 lbs...(:( ) How do I take care of myself if all this is going on in my household. I can't leave home because I don't have enough money to survive on my own.
04-15-2007, 10:12 AM
Keep coming and talking about it. I hope I am not an awful Mom to my kids.
19 y/o son and 4 y/o daughter. But if I was I wish they would have someone to talk to. Try to do something besides eat. I know it is easier said than done. Try walking out of the house and going for a long walk. When I get mad at my husband I'll start cleaning. You can tell by my house it does not happen enough. :dizzy: Talk to your friends if you can't talk to your family or us. I haven't been here in a while because of things going on in my life. I tend to keep things to myself so I know what I'm talking about. Keeping it bottled up or using food just doesn't help. Maybe you could write her a letter. Sometimes talking doesn't work! When I was pregnant with My DD my son was very upset being the only child for 14 years. He wrote me a letter and I understood better where he is coming from When he e-mails me from college he tells me how he feels. I think it is easier sometimes to put it on paper. The person can't come back with a reply until they are done reading. He told me when he wrote the letter not to talk to him until the next day. I think that was pretty impressive of a 14 y/o. It gave me time to think about it before I replied. Good luck. Take care of yourself.
04-15-2007, 10:14 AM
Hey Iwant2bethin! Gosh, what a rough time!!! But I don't think you have gained all those pounds of fat unless you have also been eating like there's no tomorrow. Could be water retention from stress. Also, are you near TOM?
Well, about your mom. It sounds like she is worried about her health--you should encourage her to see a doctor. It does sound like she's having a hard time, even if it is dramatized. Maybe she does this a lot? I don't know her history at all, of course.
You have a choice about whether to escalate into an argument. You can't win an argument about who has had the rougher day, so just go on without taking the bait. I realize it's hard because this may be a long-standing pattern between you. Still, you can try different approaches. Tell her you're sorry she's not feeling well, express your concern that she may need to see a doctor, and then if she's still wanting to fight with you, you can tell her you don't want to fight and go to your room. Or go to a friend's house if it's possible.
Meanwhile, you need to stay away from using food for comfort. Easier said, but you gaining weight is not going to lower your stress or make your home life better. Get a supply of good snacks like vegetables, and get rid of the chips, candy, chocolate, ice cream, or whatever it is you turn to.
Can you talk to anyone at school, like counselor, about your home life? Or do you have a trusted adult friend or relative or maybe a pastor or rabbi you could talk to about your problems?
Good luck! It's a tough one!
04-15-2007, 12:07 PM
I am so sorry that your life is so chaotic right now. It is very hard when the relationship with your Mom isn't the best. When I was going through a really rough time a few years back, I bought myself a notebook and would write in it every night about everyhting that occurred through the day. It really helped me work through and overcome the feelings I had of never having any support. It made me realize that even though I couldn't count on my Mom for support, I had done a lot of things I should be really proud of-all on my own. You are taking a positive step forward by seeking positive support elsewhere. Good luck and keep in touch.