100 lb. Club - Is your spouse/partner overweight?




Charbar
04-06-2007, 09:22 PM
Is your spouse/partner overweight? If the answer is yes or no does it effect your weight loss?


JayEll
04-06-2007, 09:29 PM
The answer is no--always normal weight. It's a problem because I gain weight on the food my SO can eat with no gain. So we now eat different foods.

Jay

midwife
04-06-2007, 09:44 PM
He has always been very fit and athletic. He has always been able to leave food on his plate when he is full. He has also never, not once, given me grief about my weight or fitness. He has recently expressed an interest in eating healthier, so that makes it easy for me, too.


SexyRevealed
04-06-2007, 09:47 PM
Mine is overweight and is making no effort to change, even though I've been cooking healthier. I hope he'll join me one day.

Rock Chalk Chick
04-06-2007, 09:51 PM
Yes - my fiance is significantly overweight (~320 at 5'10") and has been since he was a kid. He says he wants to lose weight but hasn't made any real effort to do so yet. It doesn't help matters that he started working third shift a few months ago, we're 350 miles apart and working opposite hours and days, and his roommates are pizza-and-beer types.

He says things will be easier when we're together, that we'll be able to cook healthy meals together and spend our "us" time doing fun active stuff instead of recovering from a long drive. I think that's definitely true, but it still comes down to each of us making our own choices (i.e. I can't do it for him).

One of my biggest motivators in getting active and healthy in a way I can maintain is so that I can keep up with my kids and raise them to be active and healthy too. I look forward to setting up a healthy lifestyle for the two of us, that we can just add to when we have children.

jennylou
04-06-2007, 09:55 PM
Yes, he's overweight. He eats healthier if I buy it and cook it, though he will still eat out at McDonald's or Burger King if I do not make something for him to eat. Oh, and he has to like it.

I don't let him keep crap in the house. We live very near to a convenient store and if he wants something, he can go get enough for him to eat - he's not allowed to stock pile it in the house. He can also keep it in his truck and at work.

BBGrrl
04-06-2007, 10:02 PM
My partner is 330 to my 220. We are both working on looseing weight but we both keep putting up silly blocks that cause us to fail. I am hoping that joining here gives us both more motivation to get that start we need.

wip
04-06-2007, 10:04 PM
Yes, he's about 40 lbs overweight. Just found out this winter that he has high BP and cholesterol. He has a manual labour job April - Oct at a golf course so he eats a lot and is pretty muscular generally. He hurt his knee and last year was less active. he didn't drop his "winter weight" and has kind of carried on at the same weight. He does try to cook healthier by his definition. Portion control is a problem for us both.

Charbar
04-06-2007, 10:05 PM
I started this thread because I'm frustrated that my dh is going down a path this is not good. I know I can't force him... even if I suggest it he runs the other direction. He is 5'4" and is 270 lbs. He has high bp.
I don't even want to think of how many calories he eats... about as many as I used to. He drinks about 4-6 cans of regular soda a day. He is frustrated, tired, angry and did I mention tired. He is where I was.... sigh.

mandalinn82
04-06-2007, 10:26 PM
I guess I am the *one* poll response that we are losing weight together. Between the two of us, my partner and I (see picture) have lost 185 lbs collectively.

Kashi
04-06-2007, 10:34 PM
^^That's great!

Yes, my boyfriend is overweight. He really likes food, but he's not 'addicted' in the same way that I am. That is, he can buy a chocolate bar, eat a piece, and then put the rest away for later. Weeks later!

I too often use him as my excuse to overindulge, because he makes me feel good, and makes me feel like my weight doesn't define me or isn't important. While that's nice, I'm trying not to use it as an excuse anymore. He doesn't really eat healthy, although he's a trained chef and when he cooks for us, he will make a healthy meal. I only get to see him about once a week because he lives across the city from me (and he works, and I'm a student). I mentioned the idea of going to the gym with him one time, and he seemed interested, but I think he's too intimidated to go alone, and we can't find time in our schedules to go together.

I care about him a lot, but I don't know how, or if, I should bring anything up to him.

kaplods
04-06-2007, 10:42 PM
My husband is also morbidly obese. He fell on the ice and tore his rotator cuff last February and accelerated damage to his spine that was already present (he inherited a degenerative bone and joint problem, which his weight and the injury aggravated). He also has severe diabetic neuropathy (nerve pain).

Before we met, he had never dieted. And his two previous attempts with me didn't go very well. We recently started reducing carbs together (he is a major snack carb junkie whether it be nuts or chips), and he is much more content to eat this way. We've agree that changes have to be ones we maintain, so if he or I are craving something to badly we talk about it, and decide if it is worth making an "exception" for. This often includes getting on the scale to check how we're doing, as our agreement has been that our minimum standard of success is 1 pound per week. So after we weigh in we decide whether indulging in our craving could jeopardize our success for the week. So far, it hasn't. He's losing more slowly than I am, but he's still lost on average 2 lbs per week, so I'm happy. When we were on WW, he lost much more quickly than I did, but he was very unhappy and grumpy about it, so this is a vast improvement.

It may take us 2 - 5 years to reach ideal weights, but if we can maintain this lifestyle, we'll do great. While each of us is responsibile for our own eating, it is a lot easier to stay on program, when we're both in it together.

nelie
04-06-2007, 11:01 PM
My husband is skinny and has always been that way. Apparently, after college he gained a few pounds (10? 15? not sure) but realized it and lost them fairly quickly. When we started living together, he gained 5 lbs and amazingly he noticed it immediately. So I switched around the way we were eating and incorporated exercise into our lives. He has since lost 15-20 lbs (which puts him in the 130s, yikes!). He tries to fit in exercise and he eats what I eat although he snacks a bit more and has a bit more leeway in what he eats. I'm glad he likes to be active though because it does help and I like that he likes to eat healthy and doesn't mind his portions getting cut down.

ScarlettDrawl
04-06-2007, 11:33 PM
My DH is 6'1" and weighs 207, so he could stand to lose a few probably. But his issue is more with toning. However, he has always been great about eating what I eat and working out when I work out (I got to a women's only gym so we can't technically do it together). So I voted for Yes, we are losing together.

Nori71
04-06-2007, 11:33 PM
My husband is "overweight" at 215 and 6' - but he's HOT to me!!:D He enjoys good, healthy food. Just a little too much of it! He tries to eat healthy and is trying to lose some weight - plus he is very supportive of me. He works out regularly doing cardio and weightlifting and has for the 10 years I've known him...but has gained some weight in spite of that. When we met he was 195 to my 220. Before I met him he had been over 300 pounds. So he understands what it's like to be obese and the struggle it is to lose weight and maintain the loss over a long period of time.

BTW - He has DM type 2 and has been able to control it through diet/exercise ever since he was diagnosed 6 years ago. His glucose is always normal (except for when he's really sick) and his hemoglobin A1C is that of a non-diabetic, so he's doing something right. I know the disease will show it's side effects someday, but I'm pretty dang proud of him that he's conscious of his health and able to control the disease without drugs for now.

lilybelle
04-07-2007, 12:03 AM
My DH has always been of "normal" weight. He never complains about my low-cal cooking, but when he's away from home he eats whatever he wants. I don't mind since this weight struggle is mine, not his. But, I don't like it when he brings me a huge cinnamon roll (like today) and I have to say "you know I won't eat that" and he eats it in front of me.

rockinrobin
04-07-2007, 06:50 AM
My DH is overweight. Not to the extent that I was. In the beginning of my journey he dropped about 30 lbs. He is now eating again whatever he likes. He brings home all kinds of junk now. It gets me crazy. I don't want him eating it or my children. How I wish I could control his eating, but I can't. It's up to him, not me. I don't let what he eats affect me. I can't control what he eats, but I CAN control what I eat. It is up to me to take responsibility for my health, 100% so in fact. I can't let what he or anyone else does get in my way. I really hope one day he gets it together. I want him to be around with me for as long as possible.

sirak
04-07-2007, 09:42 AM
My guy is just getting fatter and fatter. He doesn't seem to care. I am slowly cutting back, changing menus and adding in sugar free stuff. He does ok, but has lost some points on remarks about the cooking. I made chicken fried steak one night ( from scratch) and he said " have you figured out how to make this from Ground turkey yet? ". It was the last package of cube steak I had in the freezer.
The truth is I can cook ground turkey, fish, grilled chicken and every low cal veggie dish known to man- but if he eats junk food every day for lunch nothing is going to change. He could exercise 30 minutes every night and it would be nothing but benfical.
He joined a gym one year and spent the entire time in the pool or in the sauna. It wasn't about exercise- but relaxation.
I can't control what he eats, but I CAN control what I eat. It is up to me to take responsibility for my health, 100% so in fact. I can't let what he or anyone else does get in my way.
It's the only way we can do this. Hopefully in the long run what I am changing will help his heath in some form.

Slashnl
04-07-2007, 09:52 AM
My husband has always been at a good weight. He's athletic and has always been that way. He owns his own company, but it is a business that has a lot of physical labor involved. He can put on weight through the winter, but it always seems to come back off. He drinks a lot of soda and whole milk, and is a meat and potatoes kind of guy. He likes dessert every night. (kind of drives me nuts)
He feels that if you put on a few pounds, "all you have to do is burn more calories than you take in". Genius. Although he is right, he has trouble understanding my problems. My desk job isn't helpful at burning calories. But I'm working on it!!!!

jtammy
04-07-2007, 09:58 AM
My Dh was slightly overweight when I started - 225 lbs at 5'10". Since then, he has lost down to about 185, which is close to a healthy body weight for him. He has mostly lost the weight by eating what I eat for dinner and not eating sweet snacky things at night, since we no longer keep a lot of that kind of thing in the house. While he's at work and when we go out to eat, he eats whatever he wants. Between the two of us we have lost 184 lbs!

Heather
04-07-2007, 10:49 AM
He brings home all kinds of junk now. It gets me crazy. I don't want him eating it or my children.

Robin -- I don't blame you for not wanting him to eat your children!!!!! :lol3:

SexyRevealed
04-07-2007, 11:03 AM
Robin -- I don't blame you for not wanting him to eat your children!!!!! :lol3:

Wyllenn, that just made my day! :rofl:

LakeGirl
04-07-2007, 11:11 AM
My husband is morbidly obese...I'm say somewhere in the vicinity of where the amazing Charles or Howie were when they started their journey. He was big when we married but has probably doubled in size since living in the states (he is from England). He has made no real effort yet to change anything, though he does like the healthier dinners I've been cooking. His biggest problem is that he just doesn't move, but unless you really possess the desire to lose weight, I can't imagine WANTING to move at that weight because it probably isn't comfortable for him. I know I can't do it for him; he has to make the effort himself.

I don't let it deter me, though I never tell him how much weight I have lost thus far because I'm afraid it would be a "rubbing it in" kind of thing. He has told me he is proud of me and that he can see the difference. I just keep praying that as I lose more, he'll get on board.

Neko
04-07-2007, 11:29 AM
lol @ Wyllenn :D

My husband is tall and skinny. Appears my son is going to be that way too. He's 7 and can out eat me.

Sheila53
04-07-2007, 12:08 PM
I answered yes, but we're losing together. Only because he eats what I cook, and he's taken off about 30 lbs. just doing that. He supplements with stuff he wants to eat, but doesn't bring stuff in the house that he knows are problems for me. If he wants pizza, he waits until I'm out of town, or he'll do the grocery shopping and get a cookie to eat in the car. His doctor has said if he loses 10 more pounds or so, he should be off his blood pressure medication so he's working slowly toward that goal.

jennylou
04-07-2007, 12:58 PM
Sheila - My husband has lost with me too - even though he's technically not on a diet. Just by me cooking more healthy foods for him, has helped him lose weight too.

becoming wisdom
04-07-2007, 04:11 PM
My DH is skinny, and has been all his life. Small difference for him - as a young boy he struggled with anore*i@, and had to battle his demons without any help, before age 12 in order to reach that birthday! He believes he's just fine now, but still ties his thinness together with self-esteem. And under stress, he reverts to a cycle of coffee for 3 days, then lots of junk food every 4th day.

It's been interesting to see what's inheritable in our two kids, now both teens. One isn't aware of her hunger unless you ask her to take a moment to think about it, just like her dad. The other is more like, I'm hungry! NOW! and can't get her mind back on track for anything, until food is inhaled - like her dear ol' ma (moi!).

So, becoming aware of great food and exercise choices is a family affair, with each of us having a particular set of issues. We tease each other, and we support each other, although I do have to live with 3 people insisting on various kinds of junk food as groceries because they're all "skinny".

DH is in his 50's, and although his blood fats are enviable, his electrolytes lately have been worrisome, and overall fitness down; he's beginning to rethink his "healthy" lifestyle. And my girls are also having unusually fluctuating energy/concentration levels, reduced healing and immunity, and telltale flab & pudginess, that point to too much junk food. So I've started to institute junk-food portion-control for them. And yes, I do tell them my health issues will be theirs someday, unless they learn proper habits. I take it one step at a time!

rockinrobin
04-07-2007, 04:14 PM
Wyllen, I knew you were extremely, extremely intelligent and articulate, but now funny too. You made me laugh. That really was funny.

jillybean720
04-07-2007, 04:23 PM
None of the answers really apply to my situation. I would say Jeff could stand to lose some weight, but I wouldn't really say he's very overweight--maybe 20 pounds? He was never stick thin or anything as long as I've known him, but I know we both put on some weight since being together. He now eats what I cook at home, but he still sometimes goes out for lunch at work and whatnot--he's not making a concentrated effort to lose weight, and I don't think he has lost any (he asked me to get him a bigger waist size pants this year if I buy him any clothes for his birthday later this month--he wore a 38 last time I bought him pants and is now asking for a 40--and he's only may'be 5'7).

I've recently, though, started sort of sneaking even more healthy foods into his diet. I started making him lunches for work sometimes (which I hate doing--I hate the feeling that I'm doing all of the cooking and cleaning like a good little housewife because that's sooooo not me, but at the same time, I want him to be eating healthy foods, and when he packs his own lunch, it's an instant cup of flavored wontons and a pudding cup--when I make it, it's brown rice with black beans, chicken, fresh salsa, fresh guacamole, lettuce, and fat-free cheese).

royalsfan1
04-07-2007, 05:16 PM
I, too, had a hard time finding the right answer for us. My husband IS overweight, he IS losing, but mainly he is losing because due to some issues with his son, when his son is with us (and not visiting his mother) they have to stay in a hotel and he doesn't snack much in a hotel. Also, he gave up bread for Lent and that has led to a fairly profound weight reduction in the past few weeks. That has motivated him to try and keep it going. However, we don't really have a plan to lose together. He still snacks a lot when he's here. I don't hound him about it...in fact, he was very large when I fell in love with him and I am more in love with him today. THAT is how I know to the depth of me that he can also love me no matter how gross I think I look. He is showing a lot of interest in my weight loss, though. I think that it may start to rub off on him a little and his efforts will become a bit more focused. This stuff with his son has created a highly stressful situation for the both of us and I am just so proud of us both for managing ANY weight loss efforts right now!

caren34
04-07-2007, 05:28 PM
Yes mines over weight we are eating healthy together but he has'nt lost anything yet

djs06
04-07-2007, 06:33 PM
Wyellen, that made me lol ;)

My girlfriend is quite underweight.. quite the opposite end of the spectrum

GirlyGirlSebas
04-08-2007, 11:30 AM
Hubby and I are doing this together...which means we are both on-plan and both off-plan at the same time! Doing this together can be a very very good thing or it can be a very very bad thing. Hubby does all of the cooking (I'll confess that I'm just a horrible cook!) and its truly amazing when he's on plan as he cooks with Southbeach recipes and pushes me to accompany him to the Y everyday. However, when he's off-plan he likes to get a lot of take-out as he doesnt "feel" like cooking and neither of us brings up the idea of going to the 'Y.' If I were doing this on my own, I would be on-plan or off-plan entirely on my own choice. I don't blame him for me going off-plan...It is my choice! But, doing this with hubby makes it that much easier to decide to go off plan. I've been thinking lately that I may need to leave him behind and push forward on my own. Hopefully, he will decide to come with me...but, if not, I will still be doing what I need to do for my health.

sept15lija
04-08-2007, 03:28 PM
My DH is overweight, he's about 225 and 5'11". He lost weight before on Atkins and was down to 185, and looked and felt amazing (of course he looks amazing now too! ;)). He gained it back and is now trying to do it the way I'm doing it, watching portions and cutting back on junk. So far, he's lost 4 lbs. How long has he been doing this? 1 week. :dizzy: :)

Michelle
04-08-2007, 04:29 PM
My hubby is also overweight, 5' 10" and 245 pounds. He works two jobs right now and so he is on the go and busy a lot of the time and has no energy to work out. I told him if he would just cut his portions down some, and cut out the late night ice cream and buttered popcorn, he probably would lose some weight without the exercising part. I still haven't seen anything change though, so I have to leave it up to him.:(

dandk0204
04-08-2007, 05:18 PM
My answer is yes. He is overweight and eats whatever he feels like eating but he doesn't eat alot. But when he does eat, I think well why can't I eat it.

x Yael x
04-08-2007, 05:23 PM
My husband is overweight (6'1'' - 200lbs), but he'll eat whatever I make him so its quite easy for me to make healthy meals.