100 lb. Club - Scared and tired
Hey - I haven't been around for a very long while. I read Dawnyal's post and related big time. How can I allow myself to be a bad role model and put my kids at risk as well as myself. I lost my dad to a heart attack when I was 14. I DO NOT want my kids to go through the same thing. My 6 yo son Austin was hit by a car this winter. He's recovering, but I'll tell you...when things were touch and go I would have done anything to help him get well and protect him. Same thing when I was pregnant with Sarah (#3). I was gestational diabetic and totally revamped my life for her unborn sake. Now...here I am, unable/unwilling to make sacrifices for myself and know my habits have an unhealthy effect on them. Now my DH has high cholesterol and BP. We absolutely have to change our lifestyle and I am panicing. I am more worse off emotionally and physically now then when I was first trying to lose the weight a couple years back. Work is crazy and home has been very stressful. I've lost any willpower I had. I have an order for blood work and am scared to get the test done. I was lucky 18 months ago. My tests were good. I'm willing to bet they aren't anymore. Before Xmas I was trying the "You" diet and it just wasn't realistic for my family. I've read Bob Greene's new book and it is interesting. Anyone have suggestions? :(
04-05-2007, 10:54 PM
First suggestion... relax. Stressing out is not helping your health at all!
I understand - as a Mom we do everything for our kids. I find myself doing nothing for me. Tonight I got my hair cut for the first time in 2007! - how bad is that?! It's like we are martyrs - thinking we don't deserve to be happy b/c of our weight. We can sometimes be in state of depression because we think we can't do this - or worse - don't deserve this.
All I can suggest is baby steps. Tomorrow I want you to do two things.. first - something for your health. (ie. take a 10 min walk, drink 8 glasses of water or eat 5 fruits and/or veggies) and second, do something extra just for you - ie. paint your nails, lock yourself in the bathroom to read (just put a video in for the kids - they will survive)
The key here is not tell yourself what you can't do ... but what you can do.
don't say.. you can't eat chocolate...
say.. I can make a yummy stir fry with fresh veggies.
All the best to you. Post here often.. we are here for you. We are woman and many of us wives and moms. We are in the same boat as you. We should lean on each other.
04-05-2007, 11:01 PM
I'm glad to hear your son is recovering! That must have been terrifying!
Ya know, it's probably good to be a little bit scared but use it to help motivate yourself. I looked at things pretty much the same a few months ago; my kids are adopted and their bio-parents were a drugging prostitute and a alcoholic. Even so, it was quite painful, especially for my oldest son, to lose them as despite what they've done, those people were still mom and dad. Over the last four years, the four of us have truly become a family. So when I looked at my weight around the holidays, I realized that I was placing these two boys in a position to lose another parent! Life had already dealt them a horrible blow once, and I did not want to be responsible for it happening again!
I have really had to focus on changing my entire lifestyle. I refuse to diet because I know I am going to have to battle my weight until the day I die and there is no way I want to diet for the rest of my life. Instead, I did some studying and did lots of internet recipe searches for healthy meals. I've discovered spices, which actually makes food taste really good! There are many things I was very willing to try and/or change, and I think that is very important. I've discovered I love oatmeal, and low fat cottage cheese and non fat yogurt mixed with kashi cereal and countless other things. Most importantly, I started moving. I do Curves three to four times a week and though I can honestly say that I HATE doing the workout, when I am finished, I feel fabulous.
You have to find what plan works for you and what you can live with. There is no one answer and picking a plan doesn't mean you can't change it, tweak it, add to it or take away from it.
You can do this, Sherri and there are so many people on this board who will help and support you!
04-05-2007, 11:02 PM
First of all...Breathe!!!!! It will be OK!:hug:
If you watch your calories and portion sizes you can eat pretty much the same things as you make for your family. Try using a smaller plate. Drink more water, and eat more fiber. Try a walking DVD that you can do right in your own home. Small things make for BIG PROGRESS!!
Watch fats and eat more veggies. You will have pounds melting away before you know it! :)
Be sure to read all the success that SO MANY have made. We are all fighting the same battle with many different ways to attack the enemy (extra pounds). You can do this!
04-05-2007, 11:02 PM
Sherri: First of all, I'm sorry you have had to endure such hardships. Thankfully, there are those around you who can offer support and friendship. Please know you are not far from help when you need it. Just don't be afraid to ask for it. :hug:
As for the dieting, I have said so many times this really isn't about will power. It is about making a simple choice to change - and I compare it to making the choice to get in the car and drive somewhere. You know you have to go to the store and the way to get there is in your car (for most of us anyway). SO...we simply walk out and do it. This is how I have had to approach the change in our lifestyle...because our health demanded it...so I simply made the change.
You can do this! Please speak positively to yourself on a daily basis until it starts becoming what you desire instead of just what you need.
Post here often! It has truly been a lifeline for me and the weight I have lost so far. There are MANY wonderful people here who are willing to offer support and advice. I have found it most helpful, and I know you will to.
You can make it! We are here for you, as Dana has already pointed out. :hug:
Thanks everyone. I appreciate the advice and support. Charbar - today I did go for a walk and had a bath in the middle of the afternoon since DH was home today too. No lock on the bathroom though. LOL :)
04-06-2007, 10:12 PM
Oh.. a lock on the bathroom is a must!! ;)
I love your signature .. I wish I measured when I first started.