General chatter - Spinoff: Are you friends with any of your ex's?




southernleftylady
04-04-2007, 09:35 AM
Spinoff off my high school sweetheart shooting me down...
are you friends with any of your ex's?

I am.. act. he is married to one of my old friends and they are expecting their 2nd baby and I do cakes for their son now ;)
see i have no prob with being friends with ex's but sometimes i forget that others are :)


LaBonita
04-04-2007, 12:01 PM
Not friends, but one every couple of months or so I talk to the guy I went out with in high school online. However, we only say "hi" and ask how the other is doing and sign off. It's not deep stuff or anything like that...just fluff. I don't tell my boyfriend though, because I know he would be mad.

msnewbooty
04-04-2007, 12:25 PM
I've never been able to stay friends with them...mostly because I dont want to.

I've always believed that exes are exes for a reason.
No going back! :)


lilybelle
04-04-2007, 12:31 PM
I am not friends with any of my exes and I prefer to keep it that way.

nosnah1011
04-04-2007, 12:37 PM
honestly, i have never been able to be friends with an ex... but i've tried and it just never works out, cause really what's the point? i mean it's not that i want anything bad for them or anything it's just they are no longer a part of my life so i don't waste the time, energy and effort on them.

mmnby
04-04-2007, 12:45 PM
I used to be friends with one of my exes, it led to on again off again stuff, so I stopped talking to him altogether. On the other hand my current boyfriend is friends with most of his exes (which I have no problems with:) ), but that's mainly cause he's from a small town and the dating/friend pool isn't that big so you tend to stay friends with people after you date.

Sometimes I do miss not staying in touch with my ex, we used to have great talks. He was around during a stressful time for me and helped me through it. It's always nice to chat with someone who remembers first hand what you went through.

carolineintx
04-04-2007, 12:47 PM
I am still friends with most of the guys I've dated actually. I think mostly because I've only ever dated guys that I was already friends with, it just seemed natural to continue to be friends afterwards. I dont see most of them too often, but we keep in touch on myspace or run into each other occasionally.

nelie
04-04-2007, 12:56 PM
Uhh no :)
Every guy I've dated had been my friend at first. After dating, we drifted apart. When I was in college, I dated a guy for almost a year, broke it off with him but I wanted to be friends. I actually got hurt because he didn't want to talk to me anymore after that. I guess I thought we could go back to the friends situation and I started to thinking that he was only friends with me because he wanted to date me. Anyway, I got over that. I then had another guy who I dated that really wanted to be friends with me. He even told girls he liked or was dating to talk to me. "Hey so-and-so told me you were a cool person and to say hi to you. Would you like to go to lunch with me?" Uhh yeah, what do I have to say to someone who is dating someone I used to date? Nothing.

Life goes on. I have no desire to talk to anyone I went to high school or college with. I think that is really part of the past. I have some friends who have stuck with me through the years but I definitely don't have a desire to be buddy buddy with guys I've dated.

sfj
04-04-2007, 01:01 PM
I am still "friends" with my ex husband because we have 3 kids together. But I am sorta friends with his current girlfriend. They have a baby together so it is my kids half brother. We are on each others myspace list. There was a time way back when that she caused some issues in our life though.

almostheaven
04-04-2007, 02:33 PM
Exes, or exes? LOL I stayed friends with an ex boyfriend. We parted on good terms, just too different. And I intro'd him to a school friend and they married and had a daughter...then divorced. :( But I've been divorced twice myself. Friends with THOSE exes? Not on your life. Maybe it's the marriage thing that changes things, I dunno. Or maybe it's that they both turned out to be crazy lunatics? Yeah, I'd say it's the latter. ;)

Indychick829
04-04-2007, 06:04 PM
Nope. as someone else said earlier, "all my ex's are EX for a reason"...

There's only one guy I dated, whom I also lived with that I know we wouldn't have a problem with being friends, but we just drifted apart - and technically were never bf/gf - more "roommates with benefits"

Aside from him I've been in 3 other relationships. (not including my current/future/last bf whom i've been with for 7 months now and am living with)

High school sweetheart - 8 month relationship - i cried, but we both knew it was for the better - i was going to college he was still in high school. haven't talked since.

Guy #1 - dated for 3 weeks (3 years ago) - up and decided after 3 weeks of "i love you, you're my gf forever..." - up and decided, "I don't like you anymore" never saw him again.

Guy #2 - dated for 2 months - he left me for his cocaine addiction.

I really knew how to pick em! lol. But honestly, the guys i dated in the past were very immature, as was I. I didn't know how to be IN a relationship and everything was always about me...which is why none of my relationships lasted more than a few weeks. But ya grow up and once you realize and admit to your past mistakes, you learn from them and move on. :-D

ennay
04-04-2007, 06:10 PM
I've kind of lost touch over the years but my college boyfriend from freshman and part of sophomore year came to our wedding and later came to visit us in Tx. He was also friends with dh before he met me though. (but we were long broken up when dh and I hooked up)

cbmare
04-04-2007, 07:26 PM
Nope. However, I'm clear across the country now. I've heard about them when I go back and visit. I wish them all well, there are no hard feelings.

That said, I have absolutely NO desire to see and/or hear from or about my ex. The :lol3:"Rotund One" :lol3:. I don't care what happens to him. I don't wish him harm, but I wouldn't lift a finger to help him, either.

BerkshireGrl
04-04-2007, 08:33 PM
Am I a bad person if I say DEAR GOD NO? :devil:

There are some fates worse than death :lol:

brandnewme
04-04-2007, 09:20 PM
I am - two of them to be exact. One of them was my best friend and my first love. He's now married with a 3 yr old son and a newborn daughter, and I couldn't be happier for him. He's come a long way and it is great to see how he has changed since we dated. I've changed quite a bit as well, and it took us nearly 3 years after we stopped dating to become friends again.

The other has also been a best friend to me. We were friends for a few years before we started dating. Now he's married & working at a new job. Once again, it's been great to see how he's changed too.

They may be exes for a reason (and I'd never *ever* consider dating either one again, if we were single), but I think the fact that we were so close to begin with made a big impact. Mostly, I had to pull up my big girl panties and deal with my own issues so there was room for friendship :P

techwife
04-05-2007, 07:01 AM
I have in the past and always end up dating the fools again. So, no...I don't want to hang around with or look up any old boyfriends. It wreaks of trouble to me. Now that I'm married, I don't think I would find myself, necessarily, attracted to an old boyfriend, but why test fate?

I don't wish any of my old boyfriends any ill will, but I feel there are plenty of other people out there to be friends with, why subject my husband to me hanging around with and maintaining a relationship (friendship or otherwise) with someone I was once intimate with? I'd rather hang out at the coffee shop with my gaggle of girlfriends...jmho.

almostheaven
04-05-2007, 10:24 AM
Nope. However, I'm clear across the country now. I've heard about them when I go back and visit. I wish them all well, there are no hard feelings.

That said, I have absolutely NO desire to see and/or hear from or about my ex. The :lol3:"Rotund One" :lol3:. I don't care what happens to him. I don't wish him harm, but I wouldn't lift a finger to help him, either.
I'm back in my home state, though my ex now lives in NC. But I DID run into his grandparents. The look on their faces alone was priceless. They last saw me at over 250 pounds. :D :D :D

cbmare
04-05-2007, 02:51 PM
I'm back in my home state, though my ex now lives in NC. But I DID run into his grandparents. The look on their faces alone was priceless. They last saw me at over 250 pounds. :D :D :D

Makes ya feel kinda smug, doesn't it? :D

almostheaven
04-06-2007, 12:33 AM
Makes ya feel kinda smug, doesn't it? :D
Made me feel like wanting to hand them a picture of me to send him. LOL!

Michelle
04-06-2007, 01:48 AM
Made me feel like wanting to hand them a picture of me to send him. LOL!

Oh, that would have been great!! Too bad you didn't do that.;)

HobokenLady
04-07-2007, 07:36 PM
With relationships that ended badly, no.

With relationships that just didn't work out for whatever reason, yes, there are ex's that I had remained in friendly contact with for a while and eventually just drifted apart from and also a couple that I still do have friendly contact with.

Sometimes ex's do have a place in your post-romantic or current life and sometimes they don't. It's more of an individual person, place and time thing than anything else. I have had ex's that I parted on good terms with yet had no further contact.

I am extremely wary of people who never have anything to do with any of their ex's and also of those who are good friends with allof their ex's. I have found in my own experience that both extremes are usually signs of something else going on, like the never being someone who can't compromise or adapt and the all being someone who has trouble letting go or moving on.

I'm sure there are individuals who are exceptions to my personal
experience(s) with both extremes as their motivation may be different than the motivation of the individuals I have encountered. That's just my experience.

BerkshireGrl
04-07-2007, 08:31 PM
I'm sure there are individuals who are exceptions to my personal
experience(s) with both extremes as their motivation may be different than the motivation of the individuals I have encountered. That's just my experience.

I'm glad you have this disclaimer ;)

EZMONEY
04-07-2007, 09:09 PM
As many of you already know I am still friends with my ex-wife, mother of my son and daughter. In fact she was sitting on one side of my daughter last night at church and me on the other, Angie next to me, and our son and DIL, nephew, my brother and SIL and niece in the pew in front of us.

Since the divorce in 1990, after almost 11 years of marraige, (against my wishes then but soooo freakin HAPPY now) we have never lived more than a few miles apart. We did a good job of raising our kids together.

She was here most of last week-end for our daughter's bridal shower at our house, she was with us this week when we went to say good-bye at a reception for our family dentist and she went with us when I took my family out for our son's birthday at Macaroni Grill.

I have actually talked to her twice today on the phone about upcoming wedding stuff and saw her an hour ago when she came to pick up my daughter and nephew for a run to pick up stationary.

Sounds weired to most...but we are great friends...not without some rough spots at first...but not too many...in fact none in the last 11 years or so.

We have gone to our kids matches and races at college, spent the night together in the same rooms...different beds of course and no one around here thinks anything of it...not even Angie...there...is NO WAY she is jealous of my ex!

In fact, for our daughte's bridal shower, there was of course a combination of families...mine...my ex-wifes...and Angie's. Angie's sister told her that it was so cool the way that no one can tell the difference between my family and my ex'es...maybe because my ex'es family has been a part and my family has been a part of hers since 1974...in fact Brenda's mom and dad and sister that lives local are always at our house for family things...including Christmas.

You may even find this hard to believe but her SO is my mechanic! We even have dinner at his house from time to time and at all our FISH CLUB meetings we go to with my ex at her Sons of Norway Club he is my drinking partner! :D

Did I mention my ex still does Angie and my taxes every year? She is a preparer. Now that is close :lol3:

HobokenLady
04-07-2007, 09:21 PM
I'm glad you have this disclaimer ;)

It's not a disclaimer as I am taking full responsibility for my personal experiences. They are what they are.

What I was doing (hopefully) was making it absolutely clear that it was my own personal experience and that I wasn't proclaiming it to be a universal truth.

I did this in case an overly sensitive individual or a person who tends to take everything personally who may have posted a differing opinion previously and was now reading my words would not feel that I was addressing them and become hurt, defensive or both.

EZMONEY
04-07-2007, 09:26 PM
Are you trying to cause trouble SARAH? ;)

LindseyLouWho
04-07-2007, 09:47 PM
You know, I really really tried to be friends with my ex. I felt a little guilty about the way I had dumped him, and so I thought that for his sake, if he wanted to be friends, then sure. He lived pretty far away, but he would call occasionally and talk to me and even my boyfriend for a few minutes. I really thought he had grown up and that we could be mature about the whole thing and just truly be friends. Well, I was wrong. He was going to be passing through town with his new girlfriend on his way to move somewhere else, and he asked if I might want to hang out with them and I agreed that me, my bf, the ex and his gf could all go out to dinner. I had a feeling that it needed to be a public place and also not have him know where I live. Well, he never called to say he had arrived or say he couldn't come. Who knew you could get stood up by an ex? :lol: Then I start getting strange phone calls every couple of days from a blocked number and the person would wait for me to say "Hello?" and then hang up. Well, after the first few times, I didn't answer it anymore. Eventually, after me not picking up for so long, he left a voicemail saying something like, "Doesn't feel too good to wait around for someone, does it?" It didn't even make any sense. I guess he was trying to parallel stalker phone calls and not showing up to dinner to me dumping him while he was in jail (I was a stupid teenager at the time and he was good looking, what can I say)? Yeah, I now know I *really* did the right thing in the first place by dumping him. Creeeepy.

BerkshireGrl
04-07-2007, 09:53 PM
Are you trying to cause trouble SARAH? ;)

Moi? :lol:

HarpoChicoGroucho
04-08-2007, 12:54 AM
Am I the only one who is BEST friends with one of their exes? It was one of the (real) cases of being better off as friends? We said that when we mutually ended things about 2 months ago, and we see each other on the weekends and work perfectly as friends (as long as neither of us are drinking ;)) But as for the other ones, no no no no.

nelie
04-08-2007, 09:25 AM
There was one guy I dated for a short while and we weren't even really serious. I basically told him that I wasn't interested. He seemed like a nice enough guy and he asked if we could still be friends. So I said sure, why not? So we would hang out with my friends and I even tried to introduce him to one of my friends because maybe she'd be interested? She wasn't but he wasn't either. Anyway, he would try things like hold my hand and even grab my butt so that was it.

Then he would try calling my number multiple times after I told him that it wasn't working out as friends so it was best to go our separate ways. I would see him around town once in a while and he'd come up to me and try to talk to me about going out or what not. Last time I heard, I hadn't talked to him in 2 years, but he saw a friend of mine and asked her about me and what I was doing. Talk about not letting go...