General chatter - Just got shot down :(




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southernleftylady
04-04-2007, 10:22 AM
Ok I am on myspace and I have a friend on there who is in touch with my high school sweetheart.. well I asked her to ask him if he would want to get in touch with me.. and she said he doesn't think its a good idea...
ok..
we graduated 10 years ago..
ive been married for 6 years now and he just got married last summer and has a newborn

I just wanted to say hi to him and see how he is doing.. show him pictures of my boys...
but nope.. got shot down...
wonder why?


aphil
04-04-2007, 10:26 AM
Because it might be asking for trouble, and he is obviously happy and doesn't want to do anything to jeapordize that. :)

southernleftylady
04-04-2007, 10:28 AM
well im happy too and just wanted to show off my babies and see his...
:?:


aphil
04-04-2007, 10:31 AM
Yes, but you never know what is going to happen. I went to my 10 year reunion a few years ago, and as it happened to be, an old flame was still interested-even though I was happily married. You never know what someone else's intentions are, and I am sure that he is just playing it safe.

jennylou
04-04-2007, 10:32 AM
I agree - he's just playing it safe. Can you imagine what his wife might think if the two of you got in touch? Maybe she's the jealous type. Maybe they've had issues. It might be more about them than you in this instance.

southernleftylady
04-04-2007, 10:33 AM
I agree - he's just playing it safe. Can you imagine what his wife might think if the two of you got in touch? Maybe she's the jealous type. Maybe they've had issues. It might be more about them than you in this instance.

yeah.. maybe.. but see im not the jealous type and neither is my hubby so sometimes i forget how some people are :) lol

sept15lija
04-04-2007, 10:36 AM
Yeah I agree there may be some jealousy - I know what you mean I'm not the jealous type either so it doesn't even enter my mind!

Indychick829
04-04-2007, 12:59 PM
I'm 27 and graduated 10 years ago too...and unfortunately, some people can't let go of past high school issues (i know i have a bunch of my own...lol)...

But I remember a few years ago I wrote a letter to my high school sweetheart, "hi, how are you" sorta thing - just to see how he was doing, tell him how I was doing and it had nothing with wanting to get back together or anything...but his wife wrote me back and told me to NEVER write to him again. So yeah...I didn't! (btw, i was 24 when i wrote to him...he was too)

But I've also been on the other end too - a different ex emailed me on myspace last year to apologize for things that happened and I never wanted to see him or the people from my old hometown (who he still hung out with) ever again.

Now, my situations were different from yours, I'm sure - and there were many issues involved in both of my instances...however - I honestly believe some people just want to get away from their past for one reason or another and not "dig up those worms" for any reason at all.

I don't know your story with the HS sweetheart - or his reasoning for not wanting to talk, of course...and I do understand wanting just to "say hi" and all that...but (and please don't take this as anything against you - again i know nothing of your story/situation) - but some people believe that some things are just better left in the past.

It sounds like you're happy and you know he's happy and I'd say just enjoy your life now as it is. Enjoy your kids and your husband and relish in the life you have created for yourself.

msnewbooty
04-04-2007, 01:12 PM
I'll have to agree with everyone else that theres probably some issues on his end that are unknown to you. Whether it's a jealous wife, or unaddressed feelings, or whatever...you may want to be happy that he's not contacting you - he might be saving you a lot of trouble from opening a whole new box of worms. ;)

aphil
04-04-2007, 01:31 PM
I agree-it is the past, just let it go. There is no need to dissect the whole situation, and think about the "whys and what ifs"...you don't know his situation, marriage, etc. It might not even be about jealousy, or about unresolved feelings:

When I went to my 10 year reunion a few years ago, I honestly have only kept in touch with maybe 4 people from high school in the past 15 years. The rest it was nice to see that day at the reunion-but I have a new life, and no interest really in chatting and talking with all of the other people that I really didn't have all that much in common with in the first place-they were just people I went to school with. Other than being in the same math class-we have no common interests, professions, etc. We have nothing really to talk about.

I honestly don't really care what some of them have been up to, or how many kids they have, etc. I really don't. It isn't about being rude or anything-it is just I don't have anything in common with them, and I don't want to force a friendship based on nothing.

For instance-I have nothing in common with the ex-football star who is now a small town real estate agent. I am an ex-cheerleader who is now a belly dance instructor and a costume designer-our lives took completely different paths, and we have nothing in common but a football game back in '91.

HobokenLady
04-07-2007, 09:36 PM
Personally, I wouldn't have gone through a third party. I would have just sent a nice "heard you have a family, congrats, here's a photo of mine, glad you are doing well and I wish you continued happiness" kind of letter or e-mail.

He's a grown man and if he doesn't want to communicate any further, he doesn't have to. You would have already done what you set out to do, which presumably is congratulating him on his new family and showing him yours. A response from his end wouldn't even really be necessary.

In the mid 1990's when the average person was getting a home PC and getting online, I started registering at all the new sites like classmates. My former company also had a website, and I was on it. Over the next few years, I got e-mails every once in a while from someone I used to know who had spotted my name. It was nice, and usually brought back good memories.

Oddly enough, the one person I permanently reconnected with was a former good friend who had done me a very serious wrong when we were teenagers. She wrote me to apologize. She said that what she had done to me had troubled her deeply for many years, and she wanted me to know how truly sorry she was for everything. I had forgiven her for my own sake many years earlier, but to read her very sincere and heartfelt apology was very healing.

I think the reason you got "shot down" was because by asking permission and going through a third party you gave him the opportunity to imagine what your motives or reasoning were, rather than him simply getting it and taking it for what it is; well wishes.

EZMONEY
04-07-2007, 10:46 PM
yeah.. maybe.. but see im not the jealous type and neither is my hubby so sometimes i forget how some people are :) lol

Well, maybe you should just ask your husband to exchange photos and pleasantries with your ex sweet~heart, then he can share in the experience with you.

jules1216
04-08-2007, 10:33 AM
Don't take it personally, some people choose not to put themselves in a situation that could potentially cause problems or he could have a very jealous wife. There could be dozens of reasons we are not even thinking of.
Myself, I tend to be more like Aphil, there are a few people I keep in contact with from high school but other than that I have no desire to contact other classmates.
There is always your 10 year reunion to show your pics around.