100 lb. Club - In my mind I am still the hot cute chick who ..
04-03-2007, 02:21 PM
used to be announced when I walked into the club...
but when I look in the mirror I see this woman who doesnt look like me at all...
does anyone else have that feeling?
Im a skinny girl trapped in a fat body?
I used to be so little.... and thats what I still look like in my minds eye...
anyone else like that?
04-03-2007, 02:48 PM
Oh boy, can I agree with this one. It is shocking to really look at myself in the mirror!!!
I also still picture being 20 something, no gray hair, and perfect vision.
Reality is that I'm 43, fat, color my hair so that I can pretend I don't have gray hair, and can't go without my glasses.
But, the way I see it is that I can't get any younger, so that's out of my control. I CAN continue to color my hair so that no one else knows I have gray hair. I could possibly go with contacts, or find some cute glasses to wear, but my eyesight won't instantly improve all by itself. But what I CAN do is to keep on plan and lose the weight.
But... yes.... I do relate!
04-03-2007, 03:35 PM
I wish I could, but I've never been thin, so I have nothing to reflect upon. My lowest adult weight was maybe 250? Even then though, I felt very pretty and sexy. This weight just isn't me. I did see that 250 lb girl in the mirror for a while, until recently when I took a hard look and said, "What is going on here!" The next day is when I started my journey. And she's on her way back!
04-03-2007, 03:38 PM
I wish I knew too. I'm currently at my lowest adult weight :)
04-03-2007, 03:59 PM
I know... six years ago, I weighed between 115 and 120 lbs. That was my lowest. But in the country I grew up in and lived in at the time, that was considered fat.
When I moved here, that was considered a pretty good weight. I loved it. And I think part of the reason I allowed myself to gain so much weight is because I thought I didn't nearly feel as fat as I looked. Lol. Ignorance truly is bliss. I thought a size 12 or 14 was great. At 150 lbs, I had the best body image of anyone I knew.
Even now, when I'm big as a house, I honestly don't feel as if I'm that big. I guess it's a good thing. But in my case, too much optimism about my body did lead me to get very big.
Even now, the major factor in making me want to lose weight is to be able to find cheap clothes that actually fit and look good on me.
04-03-2007, 04:02 PM
I've always had a weight issue, but, IMHO..I was still kinda cute...I always had guys interested in me. Now, I'm majorly overweight and I've had a full hysterectomy..and I smoked for years....major wrinkles coming on daily! Basically, I'm just looking haggard! I'm usually the one behind the camera, but Hubby took some pictures of me on our last family trip. Wow! I was so very very discouraged when I saw how I look...I literally cried. And, I havent been able to find a good picture for my avatar. I dont think my current picture really looks like me....or maybe, I just dont want to think that looks like me?! Can I be frank? Hubby used to "chase" me around... often. Things were hot hot hot!....now, they're not not not! I've often thought that he might need to go get his hormones tested! But, really...I think it might just be my weight. Some of the women here have said that their hubby still chased them even after they had gained all of the weight. I could only wish for the same! I have the lower stomach that just hangs over...know what I mean? or, maybe the whole problem is that I just don't feel attractive?
04-03-2007, 05:29 PM
girlygirlsebas - I think probably your DH should get checked to make sure nothing's wrong, but at the same time I've noticed in my relationship that the rate at which my DH chases me is directly related to how good I feel. (not that I've done scientific studies or anything!!! :)) But I know when we got together I was feeling good, I had just lost 20 lbs and was probably at about 190. When I got to my highest which I think was about 290, the chasing slowed down - mostly because at that weight I wasn't interested....because my self confidence was lacking. Now that I'm getting back down again, my confidence is revving up and so is he! ;)
As for the original question, I never knew what it was like to be a skinny girl! I've been overweight/obese/morbidly obese for at least 15 years.
04-03-2007, 05:29 PM
We are so in the same boat. I really envy those who say that their husband chases them around no matter what their weight. I can't say that. It used to be incredible, and I wasn't skinny then either, but it just isn't anymore. I was probably 50-60 pounds lighter.
I've thought about talking to him about it, but I just don't know what he'll say and that just terrifies me. He started his own business about 8 years ago and we're both extremely busy with work and kids, so that might be all it is. I just miss that previous time so much. But, it also might be my lack of feeling sexy, so I don't know. He is aging, too, but his weight has not fluctuated, but his job keeps him very active.
That's another one of those reasons I want to get rid of all of this weight. I don't want it keeping me distanced from him.
04-03-2007, 05:43 PM
I too can relate. At one point in time I was about 145pds:carrot: which some would still consider overweight for my height. I felt good could wear all the cute clothes didn't have a tummy which i am forever trying to hide. This is one reason I am getting my butt in gear to lose weight. Currently being 246 pds on a 5'3" frame is hard. I know i will never be a tiny little thing, but i want my sexy body;) back. One day at a time is the only way we can do it.:hug:
04-03-2007, 08:14 PM
Sadly, I cannot relate at all as I have been overweight since I was six or seven. I lost a bunch of it in high school once only to put it all back on over the years and then some. I'm actually very excited to find out what a thin person feels like!
04-04-2007, 12:04 AM
I remember somewhere in the 80's I was 142 pounds and maybe a size nine. In high school I was 135 and my sister was convinced that I had an eating disorder.
I am still 150 pounds in my head. I don't hide my grey hair ( also 43) but am having a hard time remembering where my reading glasses went to. I lose them and the remote control to the DVD player every other day.
I miss that feeling. That "sultry blonde in spike heels or cowboy boots" I own this room feeling. I can still do the cowboy boots, but the spike heels won't work for long.
My son told me that when I smile a certain way he can tell I was once a hottie.
;) He probably won't ever know.
04-04-2007, 12:18 AM
Although I've been overweight most of my life, I can relate. There was a time, particularly in my twenties, when I wasn't obese, just curvy - and I felt womanly, sexy and flirty. Now, I'm just fat - and it takes a lot for me to feel good about myself. It's definitely affected my relationship with my husband. :(
I watched part of a show on TLC a couple weeks ago about morbidly obese people. One woman, who was about my size, said how she felt like she was wearing a fat suit, and inside was this slim, fit woman just waiting to come out. And I thought, that's EXACTLY how I feel. Like this body is not my own. But at the same time, I know that I'm the one who did this to my body, and I'm going to have to be the one to fix it, and discover that woman I know is hiding in here.