100 lb. Club - a binge day

View Full Version : a binge day

03-30-2007, 01:22 PM
alright...so yesterday was a complete disaster. I know I haven't been posting much, i actually haven't even been lurking much due to the total upheaval that is currently my work life. To put it bluntly there are major staffing changes and I will either end up with a promotion to a rather stressful position or I'll get screwed at which point I will start looking for a new job and ultimately end up uprooting my life and moving to New York about a year or so sooner than I planned.

So with that said I've been holding my own and doing ok without the boards, keeping it healthy and working out regularly etc, not necessarially losing but maintaining through the stress which is ok with me.... that was until yesterday. Yesterday was absolutely terrible, so terrible that it could be one of those days that throws you so far off track that it can make it hard to get back on. I ate out for lunch...nothing terrible...I just had a sandwich (tomatoes, basil, mozzarella on a grilled paninni no dressing) and I didn't have any chips or anything with it...but then all afternoon I dipped into the chocolate chip cookies hanging around our office....We had ice cream sundays mid afternoon to say goodbye to an employee....and not only did i have one...I made one with all the fixins... It was running late after work and had doritos for dinner...yup ya heard me, doritos for dinner....then not to mention it was my mother's birthday so following the doritios was a huge hunk of chocolate cake...
really I have no idea what i was thinking, i demonstrated no control whatsoever...then just felt like crap. Today I'm doing good except my hand has already dipped into the office m&ms and I had gotten so good at being ok around office junk and i'm afraid I'm just slipping into my 'munch in passing' old habits. I knew that was a total possibility if I didn't come here and post. I mean really... I don't want to lose control or undo any of the work I've already done!

becoming wisdom
03-30-2007, 02:10 PM
I don't know if this will help you, but very occasionally I slip into a bad day too. I declare it a mental break holiday, just like one of the three big yearly feasts (Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving) where I relax the "everything in moderation" rule for a limited time. I see it as part of the normal swing of life, get it out of my system, remember when the next designated holiday is, then get back on track. No big deal, I remember that overall I've kept my weight down below its onetime maximum for a good long haul already, and will continue to do so for the rest of my life.
Any guilt over a short holiday belittles the discipline achieved over the long haul, and isn't otherwise helpful, so I consign that guilt and the associated fear to the trash where they belong. I just refocus on my reasons for healthy living in the first place, and soon enough I get back on track!

03-30-2007, 02:48 PM
What is really good is that you came back to the boards today. I'm glad you're back to posting.
Gosh, work can be such a stressful thing. I really hear you on that one. It makes you want to find some comfort, a way to "treat" yourself. A friend of mine and I always tease about how we have no other fun/excitement in our lives right now to break the cycle of work, kids' stuff, housework, etc. But thinking that food/sodas/whatever are the way to treat yourself is a mindset that I've been working to break.
And then, there are all the treats that show up at work. Drives me crazy. But, it is such a good feeling when you can pass up the "opportunities" that exist.

Anyway, hang in there. Post and read often!!!! We miss you when you're not around!

03-30-2007, 03:02 PM
Any guilt over a short holiday belittles the discipline achieved over the long haul, and isn't otherwise helpful, so I consign that guilt and the associated fear to the trash where they belong. I just refocus on my reasons for healthy living in the first place, and soon enough I get back on track!

I LOVE THIS!!! I really need to learn how to do it for myself.


becoming wisdom
03-30-2007, 04:33 PM
Thanks famograham, for saying you find my earlier post useful. Funnily enough, I thought Slashnl's post was more to the point than mine, also more supportive, insightful, and otherwise her usual inimitable style. But I'm taking Linda's comment about learning to trash guilt and fear, seriously.

Okay, long lecture about learning to manage emotions ahead, please ignore if you're not interested. First, awareness is the ticket. (I'm not so good at this one!) Feeling unhappy? stressed? numb? impatient? etc. This takes both self-honesty AND insight, getting past your own & our surrounding culture's assumptions. Second, put on the psychologist hat. How does this feeling affect your life, your goals, etc. Can a change of view turn a 'bad' attitude/stress into inspiration, or will it only ever be harmful? Third, realize all thoughts are a matter of your choice alone, and take responsibility. Nobody can MAKE you think in a way that you won't accept! You are already choosing, all the time.... And just as you needed practice in thinking before speaking or before acting, so constant practice in choosing your thoughts will eventually make it habitual. You learn it by doing it! Guess what - once you deliberately choose only helpful emotions, the harder disciplines just come naturally. Hope this helps, please forgive my crude attempts at explanation!

03-30-2007, 05:04 PM
thanks girls.... ya I can't say that this was a holiday....its really been a build up (a cookie here, a soda there) slowly adding things in that finally exploded in a full blown day. I'm totally not able to handle little things off schedule here and there...or at least not yet. I don't think it was any sort of emotional thing....i mean well...the ice cream was planned...a work thing...I just over did it, the doritos...well i picked them up at CVS when i was rushing to get my mom a card...and ate them in the car (big no no)...i had gone to long without eating and was super hungry and made a bad choice... the birthday cake....planned...moms birthday....but really by the end of it I just felt sick and had eaten so much junk that I wasn't hungry for any sort of healthy food... I think my main guilty feeling was not having my cake with a big side of broccoli! Anyway....the stress is the stress....I'm handling it all ok but I feel like I'm really putting my energy into going for the promotion and managing my stress so much that I'm ignoring things that are equally important to me...like continuing my weight loss goals.
Anyway...no excuses...back to the gym tonight and TGIF! I'll have the weekend to get my ducks in a row and get my priorities straight!

03-30-2007, 06:34 PM
Totally off topic (sorry):

Ha ha! I was reading the reply from becoming wisdom and the only thing I could think about was... what does that mean, inimitable? Is that a good thing? Should I be insulted? It better not mean "fat"!!! :lol3:

Then, I looked it up and felt better.

It reminds me of a friend of mine (used to be my boyfriend in high school, 25 years ago) who is now a "Classical Studies" professor at a prestigious college back east. He told me that words are his life. I guess they aren't mine!!! ha!

Ok, back to the topic!!!

becoming wisdom
03-30-2007, 06:42 PM
LOL! Broccoli Cake! It almost sounds like birthday cake! Well, stress is stress, you grit your teeth and get through it however you can, and laugh when it's all over with. You know what your regular habits were, and they are what will govern your health, down the road. An occasional off day won't be remembered, 20 years from now, so no need to beat yourself up over today's displaced energy, right? If you're still off track a week from now, you'll probably also be sick and tired of being sick... and tired.... Eventually it will only make sense to eat, sleep, and get moving properly, just so you can manage the extra workload that goes with the promotion, or with a move to New York.
I don't know how willing or self-preserving your teamworkers might be, but if you can, try to include those who can either present obstacles or opportunities, in your need for the space to be your healthiest. Occasionally a real personal issue can bring out the best in people who otherwise feel overwhelmed with stress. Obviously this can look like weakness, but sometimes honest humanity wins more respect than sheer brilliance or flawless performance alone. Just a thought!

As for this being a holiday, I only meant from your older routines. Call it Mental Health Day(s), as in, you'll go nuts if you tried to do everything all at once! Really though, even if you do nothing else, reaching out to us fellow diet-gurus is a wonderful idea when you're on the edge of coping. I believe we have all been there, and we all want to give you our very best energy and support in such a trying time. Like Slashnl says, please keep us posted!

(Aside to Slashnl: maybe i would have been more honest taking the name, "becoming assinine"? Sorry about using 100-dollar words and all, it really was meant to be quite a compliment!)

03-30-2007, 07:18 PM
Becoming Wisdom: Thank you for the compliment. Actually after I looked it up, I was impressed! I just had to laugh at my total lack of focus on the message intent because I didn't know a word. It's late in the week, late in the work day, so things are becoming giddy here.

I like what you said, though, and I totally agree. NESunshine: You have a good weekend, take the time to regroup and talk to us! If not this weekend, tell us next week how you are doing. We want to hear back from you. Stay connected. We'll talk! :gossip:

03-30-2007, 11:32 PM
:lol: :lol: Becoming Wisdom - I had to read read your statement a time or two as well. :lol: :lol: And I'm the one in my group who uses 100 words!

NESunshine - I follow your blog, but I'm glad to see you back here! You've had such a good year, I have no doubt you will get right back to business! :D

03-31-2007, 12:19 PM
haha, oh ya my blog... I've been too busy to update myself there lately too! Well on a happier note....I just got out of bed...well an hour ago...but still. I can't remember a day where I slept past 6am...and today I just did it..shut off my phone, no alarm and slept until 10am! I needed that. Its a beautiful spring day in new england and I'm off to the gym and looking forward to lots of fruit today! I'm feeling energized, well rested and ready to go.....finally! I don't even feel like I want coffee...though I know I'll have some out of habit :dizzy: I'm looking forward to tonight... I haven't gone out on a Saturday night in at least 6 months and I'm gonna give it a shot and go see one of my favorite bands play (Carbon Leaf) I'm feeling brave and ballsy and fierce and right back on track with my renewed goals in mind. Phew...that was close! Oh....and I'm gonna try to get to updating that blog too!

03-31-2007, 04:32 PM
Woohoo! Glad you're feeling fierce! :D