100 lb. Club - A Letter To My Future Frustrated Self




Heather
03-08-2007, 09:21 PM
I wrote this letter a long time ago, when I was "in the zone" and scared of what would happen if I really strayed away from my goals sometime in the future. I haven't really needed to use it, but you never know.

Given some of the posts around here lately, I thought I'd post it again. Yo might want to write a letter to your future, or current, self!!
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To My Future Frustrated Self:

Well, hey there future self!!

You did it, didn’t you? You’ve ditched the plan and fallen off the wagon, haven’t you? You’ve maybe gained back some (a lot?!) of the weight you lost, and you’re feeling out of control right now. You can’t help but war with yourself over the food you feel you shouldn’t have and you quit exercising. Or worse, maybe you’ve just given up, again. In fact, I know you pretty well, and I bet you’re feeling kinda sorry for yourself huh? Poor thing…

But I have to tell you that attitude will get you nowhere. QUIT IT!!!!!

You. Can. Do. This!

I want you to think back right now about why you started this whole journey in the first place. Recall, if you will:
• You weighed just under 300 pounds by your scale, and probably over 300 on any other scale. That’s a lot of you!
• You had a bad fall and were in a lot of pain and had trouble moving – do you want that experience before your time because of your weight?
• What about your dad and his diabetes? Your MIL and her back? What about not being able to stand up from the floor with any kind of grace whatsoever because of your weight? What about just feeling like a hippo all the time?
• What about being able to do the things you want to do and buy the clothes you want to buy? At this writing I would still like to learn how to garden but still feel too uncomfortable in my skin.
• And while we’re at it, let’s talk about food. I know you think that those Cheetos and Fritos and especially that Ice Cream and Macaroni and Cheese give you comfort, but they don’t. No one’s saying you can’t have them – you will have to moderate them. And believe me when I tell you that you LOVE fruit! And yummy veggies, and kashi bars!!! You’re not giving up foods you love, you’re finding new food friends. And I bet you miss that feeling of control you had about those trigger foods too. Remember you could walk away from the candy on the secretary’s desk EVERY DAY?
• And exercise! You didn’t always like starting, but you really liked walking to the music, releasing some stress, feeling what you body could do! As of now, I’m still not moving fast, but I bet you got better before you fell off the wagon. And what about being able to ride your bike to work if you get in shape again!
• Oh, and what about how you feel at the end of the day? Are you tired? Taking naps again? Well, do you remember how when you ate better you didn’t get so many low blood sugar dips?? You can be that way again!
• You’ve been in control of your health before and loved it! You can love it again!

Okay, I know, it’s not so easy. The problem is you think it’s all insurmountable. Something little happened, and you got off track, and then something else, and then it snowballed and pretty soon there went all the good habits right out the window. I know all about it, because it’s happened before!

So, how can you get it back? Baby steps! Remember?
• If you’ve stopped journaling your food – get back to it ASAP! Remember how it helped you learn good habits? And quickly! Get back to counting calories and fats and all. It’s easy and you actually liked it!!
• Take back your attitude about food. Keep asking yourself: is this worth it to me in the long run? Sometimes the answer will be yes, but often it will be no, and you’ll feel proud of yourself because of that!
• And get moving again. You may not love it all the time, but it helps you so much!!
• Remember, you don’t have to make changes all at once. Gradually build in more healthy behaviors. But don’t wait for some mythical “better” time in the future. Take control now!
• Finally, go back to reading 3fc! You were inspired by those stories, and talking about your story helped keep you going too! There’s support there for you.

Remember your pledge to yourself: to be healthier at 50 than you were at 39 (or the fast approaching 40). That’s what’s important, not the taste of that food or the TV shows you're probably watching too much of.


And you can do it. I, more than anyone else, know you can!!

Good luck!
Sincerely,
Your healthier and thinning past self.


RitzyFritz
03-08-2007, 09:57 PM
Okay, this was pure genius! I love it. Wish I could take credit for such a masterpiece! Thanks for posting; it helped me!!

djs06
03-08-2007, 10:15 PM
:lol: :rofl: sorry, the first line of the letter had me in stitches! too cute!

Thanks so much for sharing this. I think I'm going to save it and look back on it.. it helps me too!


cytheria21
03-08-2007, 10:18 PM
That's great! Smart move! I need something like to motivate me!

RidiculouslyAddicted
03-08-2007, 11:05 PM
This is SO AWESOME! I'm totally going to do this; thank you for the wonderful idea. In fact, I'm going to do it for my future self if she ever decides to start smoking again, too!

rockinrobin
03-09-2007, 06:52 AM
Another brilliant post Miss Wyllenn. Really brilliant. I will keep this in mind and borrow the idea one day soon.

When I was feeling out of control the other day, I did so something similiar.I didn't write the letter, but I did some of the things that you mentioned in the letter. I found to get a grasp again that I needed to go back to basics. I posted my day's food in the planning thread, I wrote down every bite that went in my mouth, I thought about every bite that went in my mouth, waited 15 minutes before I gave into eating, drank water when I was urging, I read my journal and all of the reasons that I wanted to lose weight in the first place. It was very helpful to me and I had a great day yesterday.

Thank you Wyllenn.

Kae
03-09-2007, 09:20 AM
This is great! I think I will try to compose my own letter to myself. Fabulous!

Casey4
03-09-2007, 10:57 AM
did I mention brilliant idea!!!!!! Thank you so much for posting that! I am going to write mine today!

NotTheCheat
03-09-2007, 11:29 AM
Heather - Thanks for sharing that again. I think we all need reminders every once and awhile about why we are doing this and some pointers to guide us back to the things that work for us. Sometimes it can be so easy to slip back into old patterns, even though the new ones are so much healthier and better for us.

mandalinn82
03-09-2007, 12:32 PM
Thank you so much for posting that. You're basically my hero. And I am totally writing one today.

Maybe we can all post our letters in this thread for extra mojo when we need it?

midwife
03-09-2007, 01:12 PM
Thanks for posting, Wyllen. Sometimes I feel like I am two different people. One person sets and meets goals, loves exercise, eschews excuses, grabs the world and makes it her own, believes that ALL dreams can be accomplished, takes risks and bounces through life, seeing and owning the best the world has to offer.

And then there is the other me. The down in the dumps, discouraged, pessimistic me, who denies that I posess the power to make my life what I want it to be, the lazy one who makes excuses, eats crap and knows without a doubt that I will fail at whatever I am after. This other one does not recognize the first me. When I think about the goals I HAVE accomplished, it is impossible to realize that is also me. That I ran a half-marathon....not so long ago actually. But that seems like another person.

I can feel my middle thickening from my self-abusive behavior....my pannus that shrunk when I was running is back and I am so tempted to hate myself for taking these steps backward. But I guess the first me is still alive in there somewhere, cause that first me won't ever allow herself to be hated, not by anyone and certainly not by herself.

The first me never wrote a letter, but I know I can look on here for posts (posts by me!) of triumph and enthusiasm. It is a struggle. I always self-fulfill my mindset....I need to change my mindset.

Sorry if this rambling does not make sense, and thanks for getting me thinking.

Slashnl
03-09-2007, 01:18 PM
Well, add me to the list. That was a great idea and well written. I'm going to take some time this weekend and write one, too. Great idea.
I also think it would be a good idea to share them with each other. We can all learn so much from each other!!

I was just thinking the other day (when I was having a little stress) that I didn't have any comfort without the comfort food. I couldn't get past it that day and stayed in a little depressed funk for awhile, but later thought that I need to develop something else that is comforting that I can retreat to in a crisis.

midwife
03-09-2007, 01:51 PM
I think most people backslide. There are a rare few who lose the weight, adjust to a new lifestyle, and continue onward without major slipups or regain. I hope, Tricia, that you are one of them....wish I was! But, alas, I have already proven on more that one occasion that I am not. For me, Wyllen's letter was powerful because it will allow her to see again the woman she is who CAN succeed, kick some butt, and achieve her goals....Even on days where she may not feel like she is still that woman (hope I am not putting words into her mouth, but that is how her post spoke to me)

As with a multitude of other things, I suppose one should take what is meaningful to him or herself and leave the rest.

lessofsarahtolove
03-09-2007, 02:40 PM
Hi there, Heather! I remember when you originally posted that letter -- it's as poignant and motivating now as it was then! I just love that you so generously share it here with all of us. I know I'm not alone in saying that I really appreciate it!

Tricia, I wouldn't take it as "fatalistic" or overthink it too much. I think it's natural, realistic and healthy to, when you're doing well in your behaviors and mindset but still have a long road ahead of you, acknowledge that at some future time it could be possible that you might need some encouragement and a perspective shift in the form of a reminder of another time. I remember when Heather first posted here, and she was totally positive, motivated, and focused! Few of us are infallable, though, and rare is the weight loss success story that doesn't include some type of temporary emotional weariness or a behavioral misstep. I applaud Heather's wisdom and humility in acknowledging that she might need to give her future self a pep talk and a walk down memory lane! Damn, she lost 120 pounds, so I'm thinking she did something right! ;)

Heather, you rock on with your bad self, girl!! :high: I'm SO proud of your progress, and I know you'll get where you want to be. In fact, in so many ways, I think you might already be there. :goodvibes

boiaby
03-09-2007, 05:06 PM
Thanks Wyllenn, I needed that. :^: :hug:

Beverly

** Stacye **
03-09-2007, 05:16 PM
Wyllenn, Thanks for sharing this with us!

I've been 'off-the-wagon' since Thanksgiving and I was back here today looking for inspiration (b/c this is THE place to find it!) ... Anyway, thanks for always being an inspiration!

Now, off to write my letter!

Heather
03-09-2007, 06:25 PM
Glad you guys liked it (again!). Nothing like recycling old material, huh?? ;)

Good to see new and familiar faces posting here. It seems this time of year is tough. It can be easier to be focused when we first start something, but how do we keep it going? I haven't yet had the big backslide I feared when I first wrote that letter, but acknowledge that ... who knows? I guess it could seem fatalistic, but I never saw it that way. I do know that I feel strong every time I read that letter, and maybe that's what will help prevent a slide in the future! And if I do slip up, I want a reminder of what it felt like to be in such a positive frame of mind.

I'd love to have other people share their letters if they are interested. I learn so much from this community!

beautifulone
03-10-2007, 10:18 PM
Thanks for sharing your letter with us Heather! It's a great idea. I may write one of my own in the future! It would be great to have a thread with all of our letters, I think reading them would be very motivating and touching :)

Justwant2Bhealthy
03-11-2007, 12:29 AM
WOW ... Heather ~ that is really inspirational; and just what I need. After Christmas, I was feeling stuck; so I came here and within a couple of days, I was hooked, and found my original motivation was rekindled ... and refueled ever since then.

With motivational letters like this and encouragement from others who have struggled and overcome ~ I feel like there is nothing that can stop me from reaching my goals (except for myself). I'd like to save it, if you don't mind, so that I can read it again and again.

And, like others are planning, I think that I just might do the same thing for myself, so that when I'm in a funk ... I can reach back and remember why I started this journey in the first place! Thanx for sharing it with us all ~ a fellow encourager ... Rosebud. :hug:

Heather
03-11-2007, 12:35 AM
Rosebud -- Glad it helped and please do save it if you like -- it's here always, too!

rockinrobin
03-11-2007, 07:00 AM
Hi Heather. I know I already commented on this, but I just feel the need to again. I have had this letter on my mind ever since I read it. I keep going over in my head what I will write in mine. I will write in down within the next week or so. I want it to be just right. I just wanted to thank you again for a spectacular idea. One which I will surely be putting into play.

crazynette826
03-11-2007, 07:44 AM
What a great idea!! Thanks for sharing! I too hope to write one in the next few days or so. I might just "borrow" yours and rewrite a few of the parts to be more specific for me. If that's okay. You have such a wonderful way with words. Thanks again for sharing!

Nori71
12-15-2007, 07:57 PM
WOW! I had not seen this thread when you posted it earlier this year - I was MIA. I'm so thankful to have read it tonight. Such a good idea! You are an amazing inspiration to me.

BattleAx
12-15-2007, 08:06 PM
Bravo, Heather! Thank you for posting that.

jordan
12-15-2007, 08:46 PM
Glad this thread got bumped. That was a really great post. Instead of making a new years resolution this year I'm going to write my letter to myself. Thanks!

Beverlyjoy
12-16-2007, 05:17 AM
Thank you, thank you, thank you....this is an awesome and wonderful letter. I appreciate you sharing it with us!

chick_in_the_hat
12-16-2007, 01:31 PM
How did I miss that the first time around?

Good stuff!!

Baileysmomma
12-16-2007, 03:16 PM
Thank you for sharing that.

Heather
12-16-2007, 07:26 PM
How did I miss that the first time around?

Good stuff!!

heh. This was actually the second time I'd posted it. Things move fast around here -- it's easy to miss stuff!

LaurieDawn
12-17-2007, 12:48 PM
Thanks for posting, Wyllen. Sometimes I feel like I am two different people. One person sets and meets goals, loves exercise, eschews excuses, grabs the world and makes it her own, believes that ALL dreams can be accomplished, takes risks and bounces through life, seeing and owning the best the world has to offer.

And then there is the other me. The down in the dumps, discouraged, pessimistic me, who denies that I posess the power to make my life what I want it to be, the lazy one who makes excuses, eats crap and knows without a doubt that I will fail at whatever I am after. This other one does not recognize the first me. When I think about the goals I HAVE accomplished, it is impossible to realize that is also me. That I ran a half-marathon....not so long ago actually. But that seems like another person.

I can feel my middle thickening from my self-abusive behavior....my pannus that shrunk when I was running is back and I am so tempted to hate myself for taking these steps backward. But I guess the first me is still alive in there somewhere, cause that first me won't ever allow herself to be hated, not by anyone and certainly not by herself.

The first me never wrote a letter, but I know I can look on here for posts (posts by me!) of triumph and enthusiasm. It is a struggle. I always self-fulfill my mindset....I need to change my mindset.

Sorry if this rambling does not make sense, and thanks for getting me thinking.

Midwife - I so relate to everything that you've said. I have (at least) two people residing in my body as well. And it's so important to remember each of them regardless of how I'm feeling.

If I'm in a positive state of mind, I can get overconfident. I will sometimes buy those pop tarts or chips that my kids beg me to buy, even though I know that these are weaknesses for me. I feel so good and strong and I know I can say no. And I can, at least for a while. Sometimes it's long enough, but sometimes I get caught.

If I'm feeling low, I can remember that it won't last forever because I know that the positive person is still around somewhere, and she will be quite upset that I decided that one cookie contains as much calories as the whole bag, so it's okay to finish it off since I slipped up already.

I do try to work hard at recognizing what triggers the low feelings and depression and minimize the time I spend doubting myself and my abilities. But recognizing that all of these thoughts and feelings originate from somewhere and need to be handled is also important as well. And I sort of feel like that if I always felt like I was invincible, I would quickly become unbearable.

gina1221
12-17-2007, 01:28 PM
Well, I wasn't around 3FC the first time this went around... or the second for that matter though I really should have been. However, I am very glad that this has been bumped up. This is a fantastic idea! I had an episode about a month or so ago where I wrote a similar letter in my head just to remind myself how far I had come... and to keep going. I think now is a great time to put it in writing.

Thanks for sharing!

math puppy
12-18-2007, 03:34 AM
thanx for that, i needed it :)