100 lb. Club - I don't want to quit...but....

View Full Version : I don't want to quit...but....

03-08-2007, 06:43 PM
Help me out here.. I guess what I'm asking for is permission.

I just want a night of eating. It's weird.. I've had a few really really good days. Today the food is very much the same. But I'm hungry.. really hungry.

Do any of you find success with giving yourself a "day off" or a "night off". I know a lot of you say - this is how I'm going to eat (healthy) for the rest of my life. I know that if I don't give into some cravings I will end up just end up eating everything and come back here in a week.. or two... with my tail between my legs.

Those of you with a lot of weight lose. How many off nights have you given yourself?

03-08-2007, 06:53 PM
First of all... Great new picture!
Second... What kind of "night off" are you thinking? In my humble opinion, I think that you can very occasionally give in to some cravings, but maybe just limit the amount. Rather than having an entire _____ (whatever it is that you crave), could you split it with someone?
Would just a smaller sized meal of craving be sufficient?
I'm just thinking that if you completely lose it, and eat way too much of a bad thing, that you'll feel bad... both physically and worse, mentally.

What do the rest of you think?

03-08-2007, 07:24 PM
I agree with Diane. Figure out what you're craving...and what would it take to satisfy that? I don't think you should go "hog" wild because then you'll feel down on yourself afterward. If you're wanting sweet, could you have a small dessert and then decide that tomorrow you're going to walk an extra 1/2 mile? If you're wanting a "bad" meal could you start off with a BIG salad and then only have a piece (or two?). Anyway...see where I'm going with this? How about trying a very controlled, very planned variation to your plan?

And yes, LOVE the new picture!

03-08-2007, 07:45 PM
I'm lovin' the new avatar too!

I guess it depends on your personality. Personally, if I gave myself a night or day off, I'd be gone for awhile. I don't want to lose one iota (is that a word?) of how far I've come so far. I've worked way too hard! I guess I'd really evaluate what it is you NEED. I've found out that a really hot shower after a hard workout feels as good as a cheeseburger! I never would have guessed it. I've also found out that 2 Hershey dark miniatures are a great treat! Maybe you need a different treat. A period of time out by yourself or with girlfriends. A mani/pedi. Maybe it's not really a food craving at all.

:devil: And now I play the devil's advocate. My mom who has some more than me to lose has been on JC for a year. She's lost over 50 pounds in that year. One day each weekend, she takes a free day and eats whatever she wants. She knew that the only way she would make it for the long haul was to give herself a break. I will say, she jumps right back on plan the next day! Not me, it would take me a lot longer to get back on plan.

I didn't help much, did I?

03-08-2007, 07:54 PM
A night of eating...sounds like more than just a small craving that you're trying to control. You have to decide for yourself if it's worth it - none of us can give you permission to hang it up for the night. I haven't given myself a day/night off since I started back in October but I do allow myself to have days where I don't make the best choices in how I use my calories. And it's been hard, but with the exception of 2 days I've stayed under my maximum daily calorie limit of 1500 calories. And on those 2 days I only went over by 100 calories. (But I do remember one day where all I had was carrots, celery, cabbage and 1400 calories worth of chocolate chips! :D ).

There isn't anything wrong with taking a day off if that's what you think you need and you know you can control it. But for so many of us, taking that day off results in not being able to get back on track in the days that follows. I hope you decide to follow Diane's, Tricia's and Shelly's advice because they had some great suggestions.

03-08-2007, 08:17 PM
Honestly, when I was actively losing weight, I had two treat meals - my birthday dinner and Christmas dinner. That was what worked for me since in my past I had a history to let treat food "derail" me (In the past, I found it very hard to get back on track after indulging).

I looked at your fitday before and my advice was you were eating too much processed foods. I gave that advice because in my dieting history, I was never happy or satisfied with "diet" food. I was always restless and munchy and wanting the diet to be over so I could eat NORMALLY. You kinda sound like you are having the same experience.

You say you are hungry, you say you want to EAT - how about finding some recipes that are healthy, delicious and completely satisfying? They really do exist. Some of my favorites - spicy shrimp/vegetable stirfry over brown rice, broiled salmon with a baked sweet potato and steamed broccoli, home made pasta sauce with sun dried tomato, spinach over whole wheat pasta. If I follow any of those meals with a baked apple with blueberry/cinnamon, I feel like I've had a GREAT dinner, completely satisfied.

On the other hand, a lot of people do just fine with a weekly "treat" meal, for example, I know LLV was very successful at weight loss/maintenance and she always had a weekly free meal. Since everyone is so individual, maybe it is what you need to stay motivated and committed.

If you do decide to go that route, I would strongly suggest that you are very careful initially, make sure it is a MEAL not a day or a week or a month. Have a plan in place for the next snack/meal and have the food ready to go (no "oh, I can't eat my healthy lunch because I don't feel like going to the store, so I'll just eat whatever is convenient? what does it matter since I ate all that food last night, the week is SHOT" and whatever crazy things I used to say to myself).

Personally, except for the very rare occasions (my birthday, dinner at the Herb Farm) I still stick to my personal "rules" for healthy eating even for treat meals - no cream sauces, no fried foods, no eating out of the bread basket (okay, I've broken the bread basket rule a few times, heh).

For example, on Tuesday, I went to this excellent Italian restaurant in Ballard, WA - Volterra. I had a glass of red wine, my friend and I split the mushroom tart appetizer. She had beef ravioli, I had lamb and then we split a pecan torte. I did have two pieces of bread, but they had this fabulous salt fennel to add to the olive oil to dip the bread in - fabulous! I know that ONE meal is not going to derail my weight loss success, I was right back on track the next day with my planned healthy meals.

Treat meal, not treat day!

03-08-2007, 08:26 PM
Ok, I don't have alot of weight loss, but I kinda hit this point this week, where I just wanted something not on my "plan". I realized I had been eating the same things over and over again and I needed a break. I wanted something totally diffeernt. I ate in moderation and tried to stick to something healthy (no fast food). I'm ok, seem to be back in the drivers seat today.

I think you're the only one who can tell whats going to work.

03-08-2007, 08:26 PM
ugh I just wanna quit - full stop! I KILL myself for weeks and lose 3 pounds, OR I eat absolutely anything I want when I want, and gain 3 pounds in a few weeks, I always stay the same!!!! and if i just stay the same, why not EAT??

Ugh sorry-- I didn't mean to turn your thread to "all about tracey" sorrrrry!

I have to agree with the poster who said have a "treat meal" not a day!

03-08-2007, 09:00 PM
I just had one more thought as I was going about my evening and wanted to stop back in and throw it out there.

I consider myself to be a "foodaholic"...so like an alcoholic I cannot allow myself freedom with food. Everything that goes into my mouth I think about....and I think I will probably always have to live that way. Will I always have to be in this low cal weight loss mode? No. But will I always have to actively think about every single thing that crosses my lips? My thought is yes. It's kind of a dismal thought but the thought of being thin so much surpasses it that I think I'll be just fine. I'm much happier food sober (or in control, rather) than food drunk!!!!

Know that my best thoughts are with you as you're struggling tonight. Maybe you could treat yourself to a REALLY early bedtime! hahaha That's another thing I do when I think that I'm about to seriously break a rule!!! I'm not kidding. I just go to sleep and the next morning I'm so relieved that I stuck to it!!!! :hug:

03-08-2007, 09:07 PM
I think for me, it works best when it's planned for. Giving in to the impulse of "I just can't stand watching what I eat anymore," tends to be a disaster because I'm likely to binge out of control, I'm also likely to eat what's available rather than what I want, so the binge wasn't even satisfying or "worth it," and I'm likely to kick myself afterward for "falling off" the wagon.

However, if I plan ahead - as in an evening out, or preparing a special meal I'm craving. I've already decided how relaxed I'm going to be. I'm not really off plan, I'm just keeping my plan flexible and I really enjoy it because when it's over, it's over. No guilt, no prolonged binge.

This also gives you a few days to decide whether you had a fleeting moment of frustration, or whether you really need "time off." Before you take "time off," decide what parameters you're happy with. How often, and to what degree you're comfortable going off plan. I know I've had times in my life, where I could undo a week's worth of work with one meal. You really have to know yourself to find that magic place between motivation booster and destroyer.

03-08-2007, 09:07 PM

So here's what I always did (and I've lost over 100 pounds so far). This is kind of long but bear with me!

90% of the time I'm a healthy eater - and 10% of the time I eat what I want. The key is portion control. For me, eating healthy means absolutely no caffeine and also means absolutely no sugar (real or synthetic)- even in the form of some of the protein bars and any white flour products. Basically it means lots of raw foods - fruits, veggies, and lean proteins (I only eat fish and shellfish, no red/white meat)

I always ask myself the following question:

Is it fruit? Veggie? Lean Protein? If the answer is no, then I get 3 small bites. This keeps me from obsessing over any one food - and it doesn't make any one food bad or off limits or have some kind of power over me.

However, if it got to the point where I saw a lot of social engagements coming up where I knew there'd be food I would simply make the decision to eat what I wished at one of them per month. At the other - raw veggies only, and flavored water. I reminded myself that I was there for the company and not for the food -a nd I sat myself down at a sofa to chat with people far away from the buffet.

When I'm out: I always split things with people and try to leave at least half of whatever I've been given. I never ever bring home doggie bags.

The other thing I did - and this may sound weird to some - but was to embrace hunger. And to realize that when I was feeling hungry was when I was actually losing weight. And that nothing bad was going to happen simply because I was hungry. It was helpful to note that the "full" feeling I was craving had really nothing to do with food, and that I tended to have that feeling whether I ate a reasonable amount or whether I ate more... it didn't have to do with food, I was using food to numb it, but it wasn't working. I had to get okay with that feeling and figure out what I was really craving.

I also looked at how much protein and fiber I was getting in relationship to other things in my diet. Things you can eat a larger volume of and feel fuller without the calories. I chose to have a diet full of nutrients, a nd I made sure I took a vitamin. Sounds weird but when I'm nutrient deficient I feel hungrier, and when I'm eating fiber, protein and taking vitamins I feel just much more even keeled allt he way around.

And I chose a cut off point calorie wise.

For awhile I ate whatever I darn well pleased up to that calorie limit and then it was over. And it did not matter if it was only noon. It was lemon flavored water from then on. I was hard core about it, and it was really hard sometimes, but I learned how to better plan out those calories throughout the day. Sometimes I still do that, but now it's better informed and well planned.

Example would be for tomorrow night - I'm going out to dinner with a friend and will likely split dessert, eat a good portion of an appetizer and probably half on an entree. So for breakfast and lunch I'll h ave a protein shake and eat raw veggies during the day since the majority of my daily calories will be consumed at dinner. I try to balance by the week instead of by the day as well - so if there are a couple of lower calorie days they make up for the higher calorie days.

The key is to find a way that works for you - for the rest of your life.

I've also found that it's great to simply control your enviornment instead of yourself. I've gotten GREAT at throwing away food. I don't take home anything from restaurants or parties. If someone insists, I take it and trash it before I get it in the house. That includes, for me - any sort of bread/pasta or cake/candy/cookies chips - anything with white flour in it. I've requested that no family member send food as a gift either - unless it's fruit or vegetables, because we don't keep baked goods in the house and would need to dispose of it or give it away.

My boyfriend recently asked if we get married if he'll never be able to have ice cream in the freezer?

My response was absolutely- never. There will never be unhealthy foods in my home again - for anyone. Firstly, I would like to have a healthy, strong vibrant family that is rich in laughter, love and connectedness that does not center around food!

It's my opinion that for me, it would be the same as having some vodka in an alcoholic's home, just incase someone else felt like having it. It just doesn't work for me, and it isn't supportive of my health or my goals.

If i decide I really want something in the evening then snack wise, I actually have to go out and buy a single portion serving of it. This works well for me- I have had ice cream probably twice in the past year. I REALLY wanted it, and I also really enjoyed it. And isnt' that really how it should be?

I choose to focus on becoming strong, and healthy =)

I love love love this forum (thank you oprah!). I've learned so much just in the past day or so, a nd have found renewed committment to get the last bit off of me as well

03-08-2007, 09:11 PM
It's really a tough call and only one that you can make. You have to know yourself. If it's going to gnaw at you and tear you apart then perhaps you should just get it over with - without going too crazy, set up some boundaries for yourself in terms of portion size and the foods that are acceptable and NOT. I know a few weeks ago I was urging for a slice of pizza - and I had it. No big deal, I allowed for it and left plenty of room for it.

Sometimes the urges pass if you talk yourself through it. And sometimes they don't.

I also really eat meals that I enjoy. I know you are pretty new to this and I'm not sure if you've found some meals that you really love. That is really key for me. I truly enjoy everything that I'm eating now and actually crave that.

I've had a few off days this past week and it was really tough. Sunday was a big dinner at my SIL's house and I did kinda allow myself to overeat, I didn't go crazy, but even so, it took me another 2 days to get back on track. Yuck. I just didn't like the feeling. IF I could have gotten RIGHT back on track that would have been a lot better, well, yeah duh.

This post was really all over the place. Anyway, if you think you can handle it and keep it to a minimum and then get right back on track it certainly is not the end of the world. Only you can decide if it is truly worth it and will not send you into a downward spiral.

03-08-2007, 09:11 PM
Personally, I allow myself treats. I never just take a night or a day and not think about what I am eating though. For example, I go to hockey games and I often see people with an ice cream cone that looks very yummy. I hadn't had one since I started with my weight loss endeavor. I decided last game that I was going to plan for an ice cream cone at the next game. Last night was that game and I had my ice cream cone and it was delicious and I don't feel bad about it. I planned that ice cream cone and I knew how many calories were in it. I was short on calories on the two days previous and I planned yesterday's breakfast and lunch carefully. I am still right on target for my average daily calories for the week. As a matter of fact, I can eat 30 calories over my set limit for the next three days and still end up on track for the week.

This week has been a great loss week for me so far (-3.2 Mon-Thurs) but last week was crummy (-0.6 all week)

03-08-2007, 09:12 PM
Girl friend you are sooooo Close to the edge of 300..... have a couple of of something you really want, being under 300 is just around the corner :) be strong!

03-08-2007, 09:33 PM
There is some great advice for you here Charbar. Just wanted to say don't give up! Sometimes it's hard to stay on track and be happy at the same time. The fact that you are really thinking about this before acting is showing that you ARE serious about this. You'll make the right decision. :hug:

03-08-2007, 09:38 PM
Help me out here.. I guess what I'm asking for is permission.

Sorry, Dana, but I do not give you permission.

Alright, Dana, I'll be the bad guy. It's an unpopular position, but I can't honestly reply with an answer otherwise. So I could just not reply, right? The thing is, I care about you. I think back to all those PMs we had, and all the support we've given one another back and forth, and I think that a good friend is honest and speaks in the best interests of the person they care about. Here's my tough love:

How long have you been at this? How long have you wanted to lose the weight, whether it's "new" weight (I know you had a baby -- was it last year or 2005?) or the old stuff we've all carried around for years. I think it comes down to priorities, and I think you have it in you to ride it out.

That said, I couldn't agree more with Glory87's feedback on your diet. You've been going low-cal, which is not a bad thing in and of itself -- but when you do low-cal and ALSO eat a lot of processed foods, you're setting yourself up for hunger and vulnerability. 1500 calories of whole foods fill you up to busting and still energetic and motivated; 1500 calories of mostly processed foods leave you wanting more, and with very specific cravings.

I'm not saying you or anyone else should never factor in "off-plan" treats if that's factored into your plan. I followed the same approach as the poster above who talked about ice cream at the hockey game. I factored in the tiny splurge and planned for it so it didn't throw off my daily goals on a weekly average -- even down to fat and carbs ratios (two of my weaknesses!) I just think in your case you need to look seriously at why you need to supplement your calories with "a night of eating." It's that philosophy of food entitlement and reward that got most of us here fat in the first place. If you're hungry, eat!! But choose healthy things first. I think you should revisit this "night of eating" once you've shown yourself that your habits are changed and that you're capable of sustained weight loss and lasting behavioral changes. Otherwise, you've only shown yourself that you're capable of doing time but not really effecting change. And your relationship with food hasn't changed at all.

I don't mean to be harsh, Dana, or piss you off. But you asked for permission and a blessing, and as someone who wants what's best for you, I can't give either of them. Major props to you for coming here and being honest -- and as a friend I'm being honest in return. I'd hope you'd do the same for me. :goodvibes

Whatever you do, I support you. Just hope you give it some thought first. :hug:

03-08-2007, 09:42 PM
Well, there's not much more to say, but I'll reiterate a few anyway:

1) If this is for life, then you are making a commitment.

2) If this is for life, then sometimes there will be pizza, or a dessert or whatever. For life doesn't mean always saying no.

3) If you're commited to this, then recognize that it may take a while to find the right balance for YOU about when and how to give yourself a bit of a break.

4) I do think a key is control. Eating when you feel out of control is very different from planning a splurge. I personally have found it easier to get back to basics when I plan something than when I am out of control...

Keep us posted!!!!

03-08-2007, 09:47 PM
oooh, Sarah, great post!

You were much more targetted than I was but I think the idea of balance and figuring out what works for you and control are all really prominent in your message.

Figuring out WHY we want to overindulge, splurge is a big part of this. I do agree that some foods are more satisfying than others and may be contributing to the problem...

03-08-2007, 09:52 PM
HOLY COW.! You all are amazing. Talk about instant support!! You gals are awesome!!

I did give myself permission.. I DID take the night off - AND I did log it on fitday (that was the deal I made with myself - eat it - log it!)

I hate to admit it - but it was gooood. I obviously have some things to work on. The "bad" food really comforted me. I know that's wrong. There have been many good days that I have felt good too - really good. It seems that at times food can take over my life.

I don't feel guilty about tonight. For the rest of the evening it will be water. And my husband says I have to have :yikes: sex too - you know.. to work it off.... :rofl: he is soooo funny.

I am overwelmed by the support. Thanks for always being here!

Love ya all!

03-08-2007, 09:54 PM
So what'd ya eat? I'm curious. Do tell.

03-08-2007, 10:08 PM
Hi Dana!

The best advice I've gotten since I started my trip to ONEderland was to keep track of my calories and MEASURE foods so that I record HONEST, LEGIT amounts EVERY time.

That said, I plan in things that will be tasty and yummy AND keep me in my 1500 calorie plan. Sometimes I take home most of a meal from a restaurant in a box, knowing that I can't eat it ALL AT ONE TIME but that I CAN eat it over two or three days. If I want to eat something that's more calories, I adjust my plan to include it.

In my opinion, I don't want to exclude so many things that I will go on a binge because I feel sorry for myself.

How about sitting down with paper and pencil and listing all the reasons why eating is more important to you than losing the weight? Maybe right now isn't the best time for you to try to do this. I know that I definitely had to be in the right frame of mind to do this weight loss thing.


03-08-2007, 10:19 PM
Cheryl, I really agree with you on the frame of mind issue. I tried so many times before, but it wasn't until I was really ready, when losing weight was more important than whatever payoff I'd been getting from the food, that I began to lose weight.

Dana, be sure to get right back on your program of eating and not turn your one night into another day. I only say that because letting myself splurge one meal often turned into many successive meals. *Sigh* Luckily, I've gained a bit more control over that, but I certainly envy people who can make do with one bite, one cookie, one treat meal. :)

03-08-2007, 10:38 PM
Cheryl, I really agree with you on the frame of mind issue. I tried so many times before, but it wasn't until I was really ready, when losing weight was more important than whatever payoff I'd been getting from the food, that I began to lose weight.


Another one here who is in TOTAL agreement. The proper frame of mind is ESSENTIAL. It's when you finally realize that you love yourself way more then the stupid food. That the benefits of eating well and exercising far outweigh the sacrifice of giving up the "wrong" foods in high quantities. That by giving up the food, you are actually GAINING so very much. A happier and healthier life filled with soooo much more joy and sooo many less struggles and worries. It sure took me a looong time to figure that one out.

03-08-2007, 10:40 PM
So what'd ya eat? I'm curious. Do tell.

you are too funny....
this is bad.. I went to McDonalds and had a big mac and sm fries... ohhh.. then ice cream.

my step son works at mcdonalds.. I drop him off there about 3 times a week... I don't remember the last big mac. Normally I only have a salad.. but today.. it was mine.

Weird thing is .. I don't feel bad. It was good.. it's okay.. back to the regular schedule tomorrow.

I won't ever quit - but I do know myself. If I don't give in once in a while (trust me - I say no to foods all the time.) I will end up going crazy for days.. or worse, weeks. I know I won't do that - I don't want to.

In a way I wish I didn't post - but it's almost like I have to - if I'm not honest with you guys I feel like I'm hiding something, not being real. This is me.. flaws and all :D

03-08-2007, 10:41 PM
Charbar, I'm glad you're happy with the decision you made and that it worked for you. I was going to advise you to not go off plan. My thought is that it would have been too soon to go off plan, since I believe I read that you started in January. But, If the only options were to quit or to go off plan, then by all means go off plan. :)

I have had very very few off plans days in the year and a half that I have been losing. My second Christmas, a stressful day in the hospital when we found out my 11 year old daughter needed a second surgery, two vacation days in April, those are the only days I have had. I have had more off plan meals, but they only average about once a month in the last 6 months. They were much less frequent the first year.

You'll have to find what works for you. If I am really craving something, I find a way to get past the craving, usually by substituting something a little healthier in its place. I also eat foods that I love, so it's pretty easy to stay on plan.

03-08-2007, 10:59 PM
I personally am always leery of the offplan foods/meals. Mainly because for me, I find it that much harder to get back on track. Last week I had a planned dinner out at a yummy local chinese/mongolian buffet place. They hve the standard buffet fare, but they also have a grill, with unseasoned/oiled veggies and meats, I loaded up on veggies and lean meats had an alloted slice of cheesecake. Felt great about it, until the next day I found it easier to saying yes for a stop at Hardees, following THAT back up 2 days later with a stop at Arby's. I am now firmly back on plan, but I found for me, the "out to eat" mentality is a big roadblock for me and one I have to watch very very carefully.

As long as you feel in control. You made the thoughout decision to have a food splurge, you did it and now you are back on track. No harm no foul. :D

03-08-2007, 11:23 PM
No offense, Dana, but ewwwwww on the McDonalds! ;) Though when I used to eat it, it did taste good but an hour later, it was tearing my stomach apart! I have not been able to handle fried foods well in a really long time, so that is a benefit to me...but I'm glad you enjoyed it! :)

I'm not one to take a "meal off". If I was feeling like a treat, I'd order a normal dinner and then split dessert with the hubby. That way, I don't kill myself with guilt, which I tend to do.

But I've had to relearn eating. There was a time when having a craving for pie meant to eat about half a pie with a couple of scoops of ice cream on the side! Now i'm learning that the same craving can be tackled with half a slice or a couple of bites.

Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed your meal and hope you are well on your way back on plan!

03-09-2007, 07:38 AM
Dana, I am really glad you are happy with your decision. It is YOUR decision after all and you are the one that needs to be happy with it. No one else.

This would have not worked for me, I also would have chosen different fare, It would put me in the wrong frame of mind, but again it doesn't make one bit of diffence what I would have done, this is you.

As for posting it and being honest with everyone here. That's exactly the positon that I took when I started this journey. I post everything here, my failures, successes, doubts, fears and all the other gory stuff. Including my starting weight, and from what I can see since I am only 5 feet tall, I have the HIGHEST starting BMI of ANYBODY currently here. Scary. Yes I truly wanted to be 1000% honest with the people here and this fabulous community, but I also want to be honest with MYSELF. It is a way for me to work through things and figure stuff out. And besides if people here can't read you correctly then how can that possilby benefit you?

I hope you have a good day today Dana and a great week ahead as well. And by the way I love your new avatar, you look so spunky.

03-09-2007, 08:49 AM
You have to do what is right for you.... No one shold tell you not too.....
You just have to change your life eating habits....so try not to consider this a diet.... I was on the cruise, I did well and gained no weight, on the 4 hour drive home, my son wanted McDonalds....I dont do it ever... I had a double cheeseburger....and guess what Now its know as the best cheeeseburger i ever had! Really!!!! So Hang i there and make some cuts on intake next week :)

03-09-2007, 10:36 AM
Including my starting weight, and from what I can see since I am only 5 feet tall, I have the HIGHEST starting BMI of ANYBODY currently here.

Actually, there's lots of us at the 300+ group with higher BMIs... feel free to join us there, too!

03-09-2007, 10:43 AM
I apologize Wyllenn. You're 100% right. I'm sorry I didn't even THINK of that forum when I wrote that post. Again my apologies. I want to tell you by the way, since I had such a high BMI when I first started I certainly thought about posting on the 300 plus forum. Since again being so short I'm sure my BMI is higher then at least SOME of the 300 plus group. Do you know why I didn't? And I don't mean to offend or second guess whoever made the name of the group. I didn't like the title of the group - something like, 300 lbs and ready to try again. I thought it had such a negative sound to it. And another thing, I had never really tried before, so to say that I was ready to try AGAIN, I don't know it just didn't feel right.

03-09-2007, 11:17 AM
Hi Dana,

You addressed your question to those who have lost a lot of weight. I havent lost a lot of weight yet, but I'd like to share my 2 cents worth if you don't mind. I struggle daily with the desire to give into my cravings. Daily, I have to re-new my committment with myself to keep on this road.

IMHO, giving into cravings and planning an off-plan special meal are two very different things. I am learning a new healthier way to live...I am not on a diet. Therefore, there will be times when I attend a party, go to a restaurant, go on vacation, etc...when my normal on-plan foods might not be readily available. I can plan ahead to eat something special that is done in moderation and attempts to be somewhat healthy. This planning does not preclude the need to stop exercising, drinking water and eating future on-plan foods. The goal is to maintain my self control through the planned event.

Giving into cravings is what has led to my unhealthy lifestyle. I equate the cravings as an addiction. If I were craving vegetables it would be a good thing! But, my cravings are never for healthy foods. Choosing to not give in to the cravings and developing other ways of coping is the road to the healthy slender me that I really want....this is what my journey is all about. It all comes down to choice. What do I want more? The very very short enjoyment of an off-plan unhealthy craving? or the long term enjoyment of a slender healthy body?

I printed off the following statment and taped it to my computer and my refrigerator (Thank you, LisaMarie!) as a daily reminder to myself. "Whether you make good choices or bad choices, time will continue to pass. What do you want to look and feel like in six months?"

03-09-2007, 11:17 AM
Not that I really go by BMI because I'm muscular and not exactly petite, my BMI was 58.7 when I started. My BF% was around 50%.

The 300+ and ready to try again probably started with that name again but really I think it is very difficult to go from 300+ lbs to a healthy weight in one fell swoop of weight loss. It usually takes multiple stages. For me, it is definitely taking a lot of stages but that is ok. I will get to my goal weight.

As for not always eating "perfect", it will happen over the course of your weight loss. I think it helps a little to zig zag your calories. I've read various things that say you should shoot for 80-90% of eating/exercising totally on plan. If you shoot for that, then you should be good. I try to avoid certain foods just because I don't want junk in my food plan but I will eat things a little higher calorie and consider that to be part of my weight loss plan.

03-09-2007, 11:21 AM
Hi Dana!

You mentioned that you have to drop off your step son at McDonald's THREE TIMES a week! That has to be tough being THAT close to temptation THREE TIMES each week!

I find that at each stage in my weight loss journey (and it definitely IS a journey!) that there are different temptations and also different NON-temptations for me. What might have been an impossible temptation to resist at one stage may no longer pose a problem at another. Some foods must have such a tremendous hold on us that we will NEVER be able to "eat just one" of them! My triggers that inevitably do me in are chips, chocolate, and cookie dough. I have gotten A LOT better with bread and butter and have started being able to handle smaller amounts of cheese. The chips, chocolate and cookie dough remain my severe "triggers", and I am currently unable to even have one bite of them without overeating them.

Maybe you are at a place where you are forced to be around a trigger food that you can't yet handle AT THIS TIME. Every person's triggers are different. I think we are being unfair to ourselves putting ourselves in dangerous food situations! The other day my son's bag of Snickers was on the kitchen table. It was an opened bag of those "fun size" bars. In the past I probably would have eaten one bar then another and another and MAYBE finished the bag! :devil: Then I would have felt guilty and gone to the store to get another bag to replace the WHOLE BAG I that I had just finished. :devil: I also probably would have gotten ANOTHER BAG or two to hide away for emergencies! :devil: :devil: Of course when I got home I would need to take out the amount that was eaten from the bag so that it would match the original amount in the first bag! :devil: That extra amount would have gone either into my mouth or would have been added to my emergency stash!

THIS TIME I quickly closed the bag and took it up to my son's bedroom. Out of sight seems to work now for me when I'm around my worst triggers.

I hope this helps you!

Good Luck getting back on track!


03-09-2007, 11:23 AM
Robin -- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings! And I didn't take offense at anything you said. I can see what you mean about the name. If you do ever want to join us the invitation's open! I wasn't over 300 pounds and am taller than you, and they let me join! :D :D

I love both the 300+ group and the 100-pound club. They have different feelings about them and I learn a lot from both places.

03-09-2007, 01:07 PM
Dana, I haven't lost a ton of weight, I'm really just starting to get things to click now but I am not doing it by not eating what I want to eat when I want to eat it. I lost 2 lbs last week and I'm pretty sure at least 3 of those nights I had a bowl of Smarties ice cream. Frankly when I read your first post I thought you were going on an all out binge, a big bag of chips with dip, a thing of Haagen Dazs and a pound cake. I don't care what anyone else says, I like McD's, I like Big Macs and fries and while they aren't the best calories wise it isn't going to break you to have it once in awhile.

I don't know if you remember this guy named Fred who used to post here a long time ago, he wrote a book called From Chunk to Hunk. Anyway he last over 200 lbs and even he had a night where he would eat whatever he wanted. Not right away, it was a fair way into his weight loss and even now that he has met his goal weight he still eats healthy but one night a week he lets go and eats not so healthy.

03-09-2007, 03:15 PM
Nelie, again I apologize, I really meant to say that I was ONE of the heaviest people currently here at 3fc. And I DO know what you mean by not going much by BMI. Again sorry, I didn't mean to exclude you. G-d forbid. You are SUCH a valuable part of 3FC. But I still don't like the name of the group, that certainly doesn't mean I don't like what it's about, again there was just something about the name that turned me off.

Wyllenn you didn't hurt my feelings AT ALL. Really. Thanks for the invite. I HAVE popped in there once or twice when I saw a topic on the main page where I thought I could be of help.

Sorry to hijack your thread Dana.

03-09-2007, 04:29 PM
I would not do an all day off day, but that's just me. When I went on a cruise last month, I still managed to lose weight, despite the fact that I ate dessert nearly every night. That was my main indulgence. But, breakfast every day was healthy - an egg white omelette with lots of veggies. Lunch most days was a salad. A few other times I strayed, but I definitely couldn't have given myself free reign to eat whatever I wanted and come back and jumped on plan. I'd still be eating whatever I want.

03-09-2007, 07:23 PM
My favorite groups here are this one and 300+... because we really do have different needs and concerns than those with 10 or even 50 lbs to lose.

We aren't going to be able to lose the weight in a month, and many of us not even a year, so we have a lot of time to learn how to "get it right." Finding the path that is best for us takes a lot of trial and error, and it helps if you see errors as just part of the process, not a reason to beat yourself up and throw in the towel. Some of us will find that we have to completely eliminate entire classes of food, some of us may require surgery to gain control, others will be able to cut back on their current food intake, without changing their food choices or lifestyle (though I'm not sure I've ever met anyone who has lost this kind of weight doing the latter).

03-09-2007, 07:36 PM

I didn't take offense, no reason to apologize. You are right, it is hard to be one of the largest around. I've had to deal with that all my life. When people come here and say I have 10, 20 or even 100 lbs to lose and that can be half or less than half for some of us. Its a long journey. We do get to learn a lot on the journey though.

Not to hijack the thread though :) As I said, we live normal lives in the normal world. I think improvement is what we should strive for and just get better as time goes on. Sometimes we have hiccups and we need to move past those. I personally wouldn't choose fast food as my "treat" but I'm more of a bread girl. If someone cuts back from fast food 5 times per week to one times per week, that is a huge improvement. Weight loss doesn't require perfection but it does require improvement.

03-09-2007, 08:29 PM
If someone cuts back from fast food 5 times per week to one times per week, that is a huge improvement. Weight loss doesn't require perfection but it does require improvement.

That's a fabulous way to put it! Thanks!!!

Goddess Jessica
03-10-2007, 10:32 PM
Robin -
I'm laughing my butt off because I read your post and I was like, "Wait a minute, my BMI is worse than hers..." and then I was like, "Am I being competitive about the worse BMI?!?!?! She can win! Please!" ROFLMAO.

03-10-2007, 11:05 PM
I have lost 20+ lbs since the fall. I have had several planned days off with a varying amount of success. I seem to enjoy it more (and beat myself up less) when I plan to eat one thing that I have been craving. By sticking to one thing I can kind of plan my day around it. I have also found the longer I eat healthy the less crap I want. good luck

03-11-2007, 08:05 AM
Robin -
I'm laughing my butt off because I read your post and I was like, "Wait a minute, my BMI is worse than hers..." and then I was like, "Am I being competitive about the worse BMI?!?!?! She can win! Please!" ROFLMAO.

That's sooo funny, because the competive side of me just had to go figure out your BMI and ummm, yeah at 5 ft 9 in you have a bmi of 41.3 and at 5 foot nothing, 287 lbs my bmi was 56. Lucky, lucky, lucky me. I thought "winning" was supposed to feel better then this. :(